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Psychology of a Cuckold
- Thread starterDoc in Cleveland
- Start date
Doc in Cleveland said:
Since posting this, and receiving little to no feedback on my proposition, let me again inquire for reaction. I'd like to update that two new(er) patients (previously seen for unrelated therapy) report none of these actions. Again, my sample data is so small it may be skewed. That is why I am asking here. Furthermore, when trying to take up this new path and suggesting this sexual act, I was met with a firm, "Uh, no" from the two patients not involved in this physical submission act. This even though the cuckold reports to cunnilingus performed on their wives after male ejaculation. Perplexing.
Let me tell you my angle here and why I ask and therapeutically encourage this act ...
I struggle with identifying a pure love and subsequent one-on-one intimacy between cuckold and cuckoldress. I won't go in to diagnosis but suffice to say that this personal monogamous intimacy between husband and wife is essential to preserving the marriage long term. So .. I search. Search for sexual acts to cement the bond between one male and one female that are committed to each other.
So called "creampies" are not the item I need here. That's an act of a third person in full view. One patient expressed that his wife always made him sleep in "the wet spot" on the bed the entire night and as they cuddled together. He believed this was intimacy between his wife and himself. This is not so as the husband lays in the sperm stained sheets of another man's semen and he submits to a third party's dominance and his submission.
I need something that is entirely intimate between husband and wife inside of the cuckold relationship. Receiving feedback from other cuckolds in my care that this act had such a strong bonding effect between one female and one male, I felt it was "essential". I still feel very strongly this way and I urge those who have not to try it. If you do, could you please report back here your emotional observations during the act and then (relative) long term?
Also, if you have strong feelings that I am wrong, please express them here.
Furthermore, if you have an idea for another sexually intimate act for the husband and wife in a cuckold relationship, please .. feel free. As I said, I am struggling with this and I'll take all the help I can get.
Doc
..
well for us
Ok,here is my 2 cents worth. I am bi, so swallowing another males sperm is no big deal for me. But you ask that you need to know what from this is entirely intimate between just the cuckold and his wife. Intimacy can mean almost anything, being physical, emotional etc. for us, eating her creampie is the intimacy of only us knowing we are into this...sure the other male does, but he is never in our circle of friends, so we know something about each other, that forever, this "disgusting", morally bankrupt" act is something none of our friends or family will ever know about us.
She is quite prim and proper, so her being with another male/s would be horrid enough if they knew, but to then find out, she/we loves big cocks, that i have a small cock that can't satisfy her of which no one would guess in a million years that i am under endowed, that I encourage her to act on her being slutty, that rather than being hurt or angry I actually happily masturbate while watching her, then more than willingly lick up the semen from her used pussy, would disgust most people we would think let alone friends and family...so while she enjoys doing it and showing me her other side of who she really is and what she likes outside of what people think she would be like in the bedroom for us is the height of honesty and thus intimacy for us.
So for us the final act of eating her creampies is probably more about physical proof that I am very happy with what I have just seen and for her performing that act also removes any sense of guilt, knowing if he was upset or angry, he definitely wouldn’t enjoy cleaning her...where by doing so removes all doubt.
So for us, the knowledge of what we know about each other is the intimacy part for us...the eating of creampies is like a symbolic process for, much like a rubber stamped document after the contract is signed, or a hand shake after a mutual agreement has been met.
Or take away the psychology of it all... its a very dirty act, and that we both love being a very naughty and dirty little boy and girl
Slinky
Ok,here is my 2 cents worth. I am bi, so swallowing another males sperm is no big deal for me. But you ask that you need to know what from this is entirely intimate between just the cuckold and his wife. Intimacy can mean almost anything, being physical, emotional etc. for us, eating her creampie is the intimacy of only us knowing we are into this...sure the other male does, but he is never in our circle of friends, so we know something about each other, that forever, this "disgusting", morally bankrupt" act is something none of our friends or family will ever know about us.
She is quite prim and proper, so her being with another male/s would be horrid enough if they knew, but to then find out, she/we loves big cocks, that i have a small cock that can't satisfy her of which no one would guess in a million years that i am under endowed, that I encourage her to act on her being slutty, that rather than being hurt or angry I actually happily masturbate while watching her, then more than willingly lick up the semen from her used pussy, would disgust most people we would think let alone friends and family...so while she enjoys doing it and showing me her other side of who she really is and what she likes outside of what people think she would be like in the bedroom for us is the height of honesty and thus intimacy for us.
So for us the final act of eating her creampies is probably more about physical proof that I am very happy with what I have just seen and for her performing that act also removes any sense of guilt, knowing if he was upset or angry, he definitely wouldn’t enjoy cleaning her...where by doing so removes all doubt.
So for us, the knowledge of what we know about each other is the intimacy part for us...the eating of creampies is like a symbolic process for, much like a rubber stamped document after the contract is signed, or a hand shake after a mutual agreement has been met.
Or take away the psychology of it all... its a very dirty act, and that we both love being a very naughty and dirty little boy and girl
Slinky
I think, for the most part, cuckolding is just a variation of s&m/b&d. Im guessing a lot of cucks were into being dominated by women before they discovered cuckolding. Cuckolding is being dominated by a woman but at it's most extreme. Nothing is as degrading, nothing is more of a submission to a woman than to be willing to stand by as other men fuck her or to even be "made" to take part by serving/pleasuring the man that's fucking your wife. A cuck might not be bisexual at all but could be dressed like a girl and made to suck a bull's cock or take that bull's cock up his ass and he gets off on what the act represents...utter submission. The bull, really, is just a prop in the same way that a riding crop, handcuffs, or a paddle is.Son of John said:
Now, what the woman gets out of it might be something altogether different than whatever she might get out of being a "dominatrix" to her husband. She might like that, sure. She might just like the freedom of fucking other guys and is just thrilled that her husband gets off on it and considers him sometimes watching (or whatever) a small price to pay for being given such vast privileges. She might just like being the center of attention, the queen of the ball so to speak and having two men drooling over you in such close proximity (cuck and bull alike) would be very gratifying to someone like that. I'm thinking this because I would think it would feel very empowering, having my wife standing by ready to serve while I was also enjoying the attentions of some cute little thing.
This has been a fascinating discussion! I agree with Angevin. I know that my own interest in being cuckolded is directly linked to my submissiveness. After thirty or so years together, I've learned to trust my wife and desire to further explore my submissive side.
She has yet to "cuck" me. There are many risks to a "cuckold" lifestyle along with societal pressure to conform to more "normal" sexual standards. These make her hesitant to "take the plunge." I admit that I have reservations around the risks as well.
She is also naturally passive-aggressive (with more emphasis on the passive.) She enjoys the dominant role, but isn't as assertive as I wish she would be. She loves my submissiveness but seldom pushes me from the dominant side. She probably won't ever have sex with anyone else unless someone makes it "easy" for her. I'm OK with that.
She has yet to "cuck" me. There are many risks to a "cuckold" lifestyle along with societal pressure to conform to more "normal" sexual standards. These make her hesitant to "take the plunge." I admit that I have reservations around the risks as well.
She is also naturally passive-aggressive (with more emphasis on the passive.) She enjoys the dominant role, but isn't as assertive as I wish she would be. She loves my submissiveness but seldom pushes me from the dominant side. She probably won't ever have sex with anyone else unless someone makes it "easy" for her. I'm OK with that.
Part 1
Hi Everyone,
I'm a new member here, but I have been living with the cuckold fantasy for over 20 years now. Much of that time I didn't even know there was a name for it, or that there was anyone else who had the same thoughts and fantasies as I did. Other than discussing this with a couple of past girlfriends and my current wife, I have never been able to actually discuss this with anyone who has the same fantasies as me, so I feel it is about time that I did.
In a lot of ways, I don't find similarities with other men who have this fantasy. I never had a traumatic episode from my childhood that this can be traced to. My parents were divorced, I didn't have a great relationship with my father, but I don't feel like I had the worst childhood in the world. I am not a submissive or wimpy kind of guy. I don't want to sound like a douche, because I'm not bragging, just trying to explain my background. I'm an attrative guy, I'm in shape, and I'm well endowed. My sexual performance has never been an issue, in yet I still have these fantasies. I also don't have a facination with interracial sex for my wife/girlfriend, and I am not at all turned on by the impregnating fantasy.
In my teens and early twenties when I was dating, this idea never would have occured to me, as I was an incredibly jealous boyfriend back then, who would be bothered just hearing anything about my girlfriend's past. The first time this idea occured to me was when I happened to watch a scene in a porn where a couple of guys broke into a house, tied up the husband and had sex with the wife. That in itself didn't do anything to me, but during the sex, the wife eventually totally got into it and was soon a willing participant. I was shocked when I started to become aroused by this. What especially turned me on was when the wife completely ignored her husband while fucking these other guys. This was the most intense arousal I had ever felt, and I was completely confused, as this should not have been something that turned me on, based on my jealous nature. That night I brought up the scene and my arousal to my girlfriend while talking on the phone, and we ended up having phone sex talking about the scene and talking about what it would be like for her to fuck another guy in front of me. This was the 180 degree turning point in my sex life.
My girlfriend at the time was quite open minded and after talking about it for a while, we agreed to try this fantasy out. In talking at length about it, I was confused even further when I discovered that I was actually more turned on by the idea of her fucking another guy without me present and then telling me about it afterwards, than I was by watching her. To this day, this is my preference, and I still don't understand it, as this takes the voyeuristic nature out of the situation. Anyway, we experimented a little with her picking up a guy in a bar that I was at, and leaving with him. Also a couple of other similar situations, plus getting together with a friend of hers on her own, and then setting up a threesome with her, him and myself. Although I loved the idea of her "cheating" on me without me there, the threesome was an incredible experience. I have never worried about or questioned whether I was homosexual, as I'm not turned on by guys, and would never do anything with a guy on my own. However, during the threesome my girlfriend grabbed the other guys hand and put it on my cock and had him stroke me for a couple of minutes. Initially I was shocked and unsure, but I actually didn't find it as unappealing to me as homosexuality did to me. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. That was the extent of my interaction with him, but it seems that although I'm not attracted to men, that when in a threesome situation with extreme arousal at play, I am okay with bisexual interaction. I have never had any other interaction with a guy as I did then, and I find that after I have talked about this or masturbated to it, that I feel quite disturbed by it and ashamed.
Anyway, since that very experimental girlfriend, I did discuss this fantasy with three other girlfriends. They all seemed open minded to it in varying degrees, but the fantasy never ended up being carried out. Over the years though, my fantasy has developed and changed somewhat. This may be just the case of seeking more extreme ideas to try to recapture the height of my original arousal, or it may be just developing the details of what turns me on further. Maybe both...
I'm turned on by the idea of my wife fucking someone in front of me, with little or no involvement from me. What starts out as a threesome in my mind, soon changes into her preferring to be with the other guy, and less and less attention is paid to me. I'm also turned on by the idea of her fucking a guy in another room, where I can just hear them, or the ultimate of fucking someone else on her own without me present. Sometimes I like to think that I know about the "date", and wait for her to get home. Sometimes I like the idea of having no idea ahead of time and her just telling me about it afterwards, either when she gets home, or keeping it to herself for days/weeks and then telling me about it. Although incredibly aroused, I prefer the idea of her not letting me fuck her afterwards, and I prefer her to lube up my cock and slowly jerk me off for a long time telling me about it, until I cum all over myself. The cheating on me behind my back has even gone a little further in my fantasy, with me wanting her to actually have a regular "boyfriend" that she sees regularily over a long period of time. Let me clarify that I am not turned on by the idea of her developing a relationship with another guy, I want it to be purely a sexual relationship.
Continued in Part 2 post.........
Hi Everyone,
I'm a new member here, but I have been living with the cuckold fantasy for over 20 years now. Much of that time I didn't even know there was a name for it, or that there was anyone else who had the same thoughts and fantasies as I did. Other than discussing this with a couple of past girlfriends and my current wife, I have never been able to actually discuss this with anyone who has the same fantasies as me, so I feel it is about time that I did.
In a lot of ways, I don't find similarities with other men who have this fantasy. I never had a traumatic episode from my childhood that this can be traced to. My parents were divorced, I didn't have a great relationship with my father, but I don't feel like I had the worst childhood in the world. I am not a submissive or wimpy kind of guy. I don't want to sound like a douche, because I'm not bragging, just trying to explain my background. I'm an attrative guy, I'm in shape, and I'm well endowed. My sexual performance has never been an issue, in yet I still have these fantasies. I also don't have a facination with interracial sex for my wife/girlfriend, and I am not at all turned on by the impregnating fantasy.
In my teens and early twenties when I was dating, this idea never would have occured to me, as I was an incredibly jealous boyfriend back then, who would be bothered just hearing anything about my girlfriend's past. The first time this idea occured to me was when I happened to watch a scene in a porn where a couple of guys broke into a house, tied up the husband and had sex with the wife. That in itself didn't do anything to me, but during the sex, the wife eventually totally got into it and was soon a willing participant. I was shocked when I started to become aroused by this. What especially turned me on was when the wife completely ignored her husband while fucking these other guys. This was the most intense arousal I had ever felt, and I was completely confused, as this should not have been something that turned me on, based on my jealous nature. That night I brought up the scene and my arousal to my girlfriend while talking on the phone, and we ended up having phone sex talking about the scene and talking about what it would be like for her to fuck another guy in front of me. This was the 180 degree turning point in my sex life.
My girlfriend at the time was quite open minded and after talking about it for a while, we agreed to try this fantasy out. In talking at length about it, I was confused even further when I discovered that I was actually more turned on by the idea of her fucking another guy without me present and then telling me about it afterwards, than I was by watching her. To this day, this is my preference, and I still don't understand it, as this takes the voyeuristic nature out of the situation. Anyway, we experimented a little with her picking up a guy in a bar that I was at, and leaving with him. Also a couple of other similar situations, plus getting together with a friend of hers on her own, and then setting up a threesome with her, him and myself. Although I loved the idea of her "cheating" on me without me there, the threesome was an incredible experience. I have never worried about or questioned whether I was homosexual, as I'm not turned on by guys, and would never do anything with a guy on my own. However, during the threesome my girlfriend grabbed the other guys hand and put it on my cock and had him stroke me for a couple of minutes. Initially I was shocked and unsure, but I actually didn't find it as unappealing to me as homosexuality did to me. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. That was the extent of my interaction with him, but it seems that although I'm not attracted to men, that when in a threesome situation with extreme arousal at play, I am okay with bisexual interaction. I have never had any other interaction with a guy as I did then, and I find that after I have talked about this or masturbated to it, that I feel quite disturbed by it and ashamed.
Anyway, since that very experimental girlfriend, I did discuss this fantasy with three other girlfriends. They all seemed open minded to it in varying degrees, but the fantasy never ended up being carried out. Over the years though, my fantasy has developed and changed somewhat. This may be just the case of seeking more extreme ideas to try to recapture the height of my original arousal, or it may be just developing the details of what turns me on further. Maybe both...
I'm turned on by the idea of my wife fucking someone in front of me, with little or no involvement from me. What starts out as a threesome in my mind, soon changes into her preferring to be with the other guy, and less and less attention is paid to me. I'm also turned on by the idea of her fucking a guy in another room, where I can just hear them, or the ultimate of fucking someone else on her own without me present. Sometimes I like to think that I know about the "date", and wait for her to get home. Sometimes I like the idea of having no idea ahead of time and her just telling me about it afterwards, either when she gets home, or keeping it to herself for days/weeks and then telling me about it. Although incredibly aroused, I prefer the idea of her not letting me fuck her afterwards, and I prefer her to lube up my cock and slowly jerk me off for a long time telling me about it, until I cum all over myself. The cheating on me behind my back has even gone a little further in my fantasy, with me wanting her to actually have a regular "boyfriend" that she sees regularily over a long period of time. Let me clarify that I am not turned on by the idea of her developing a relationship with another guy, I want it to be purely a sexual relationship.
Continued in Part 2 post.........
Part 2 of previous post
Sorry, too long winded, I ran out of room!!!
Continued....
I should mention that I have now been married for 10 years, and within the first month of our relationship I had already shared my fantasies with my wife. Early on she didn't really seem to support the idea. However, a couple of years into the marriage, we started talking about these things often, with her often indulging me with a handjob, which became my preferential form of sex. Eventually, she seemed to support the idea, and was into the idea of indulging the fantasy. I always prefer the idea of my wife selecting the guy, because it is more arousing to me if I think that she is doing this for herself and her own desires, and not just to indulge mine. In fact, that is a key for me in the fantasy. I don't want to talk her into anything, I would love for her to be the instigator who seeks out another guy, and who fucks him behind my back to tell me about it later. My wife did have a few encounters, which I enjoyed immensely. However, problems occured as she had expected that this would make me desire having sex with her more, when in reality, it made me want to be "denied" more by her with handjobs being my only form of sex. She also felt that this had totally taken over our sex lives. The worst part was that after the fact, she told me that she hadn't wanted to do any of this, and had only done it to please me, and was now very upset with what she had made herself do. This totally defeated the basis of the fantasy for me, as I explained, the big turn on is that she seeks this out herself out of sexual disatisfaction with just having sex with me. Had I known this, I would never have wanted to live out the fantasy, and would have been satisfied with her just indulging me with talking about the fantasy accompanied by a handjob. As a result, we no longer live the lifestyle, and she is so soured on the whole thing, that we no longer even talk about it. So, I am now left with this fantasy to myself, because of course the fantasy is still there for me.
I have gotten much pleasure out of this fantasy over the years, but at times I almost wish that I didn't have it. Recently, I have spent more and more time trying to figure out why I have this fantasy, although knowing this, I'm guessing, would not suddenly make the fantasy disappear.
The elements that are key for me with the cuckold fantasy are that the woman is sexually insatiable and therefore not satisfied with just me, and thereby she is the instigator who chooses the guy and how often and for how long they see each other. Although I am not inadequate sexually, and am well endowed, I still like the idea that the other guy is bigger, better looking, a better lover, who can cum more and more often than I can, and that she prefers having sex with him. I like being either somewhat or totally denied from having sex with my wife, since she is saving herself for another guy. Although I am turned on by her being with lots of guys, I still prefer the idea of her having a regular boyfriend who she sees longterm. I like either knowing or not knowing about her dates. I'm turned on by her either coming home late, or not until the next morning, or even having her bring him to our house to have him sleep over with me stuck on the couch. Here I recognize the emergence of a definite element of degradation and humiliation into the fantasy, which confuses me, since I am not by nature a submissive person at all. As I pointed out earlier, I do not have an fantasy about her getting pregnant, but it is of major importance to me that they always fuck without a condom, with him usually cumming inside my wife. She is on the pill, so there is no risk of pregnancy, but without a condom it just seems to complete the idea of another guy taking my place or violating my wife if you will, for lack of a better way of putting it. If I do get to have sex with my own wife, the idea of me being ****** to use a condom, while her lover never does, is also a big turn on for me. As for any bisexual elements, in a threesome situation, I am turned on by pretty much anything going on. Outside of a threesome situation, I am turned on by the idea of either fucking my wife while she still has another guys cum in her, or even by giving her oral after another guy has cum in her. I'm embarrassed to admit to a lot of this, as I do not have any homosexual thoughts or urges outside of this fantasy, but I'm hoping in this forum I would not be labelled or judged for this. So overall, my fantasy has elements of voyeurism, cheating, being denied sexually, humiliation, and even bisexuality. However, I very much love my wife, I don't want her to be involved with anyone else other than sexually, and having been married for 10 years, I don't think I have committment issues, etc.
As I mentioned, at times I have a tendency to allow this fantasy to dominate my sex life, although I have worked on this a lot. My wife no longer wants to even indulge me talking about it only in a fantasy sense, but I am not able to just shut this fantasy off, and I'm not sure I would necessarily want to. So, I'm left keeping this fantasy to myself, at times being confused by it, ashamed of it, and frustrated by it. I would love some input by anyone as to their opinion on where this fantasy comes from in my situation, and just to hear from someone who can identify with these same thoughts and fantasies. I guess I'm just needing to finally talk to someone about this, now that I know that I am by no means alone with this.
Thanks for reading my novel length story and for any replies I may receive, and for welcoming me to the forum so I have some kind of outlet.
Sorry, too long winded, I ran out of room!!!
Continued....
I should mention that I have now been married for 10 years, and within the first month of our relationship I had already shared my fantasies with my wife. Early on she didn't really seem to support the idea. However, a couple of years into the marriage, we started talking about these things often, with her often indulging me with a handjob, which became my preferential form of sex. Eventually, she seemed to support the idea, and was into the idea of indulging the fantasy. I always prefer the idea of my wife selecting the guy, because it is more arousing to me if I think that she is doing this for herself and her own desires, and not just to indulge mine. In fact, that is a key for me in the fantasy. I don't want to talk her into anything, I would love for her to be the instigator who seeks out another guy, and who fucks him behind my back to tell me about it later. My wife did have a few encounters, which I enjoyed immensely. However, problems occured as she had expected that this would make me desire having sex with her more, when in reality, it made me want to be "denied" more by her with handjobs being my only form of sex. She also felt that this had totally taken over our sex lives. The worst part was that after the fact, she told me that she hadn't wanted to do any of this, and had only done it to please me, and was now very upset with what she had made herself do. This totally defeated the basis of the fantasy for me, as I explained, the big turn on is that she seeks this out herself out of sexual disatisfaction with just having sex with me. Had I known this, I would never have wanted to live out the fantasy, and would have been satisfied with her just indulging me with talking about the fantasy accompanied by a handjob. As a result, we no longer live the lifestyle, and she is so soured on the whole thing, that we no longer even talk about it. So, I am now left with this fantasy to myself, because of course the fantasy is still there for me.
I have gotten much pleasure out of this fantasy over the years, but at times I almost wish that I didn't have it. Recently, I have spent more and more time trying to figure out why I have this fantasy, although knowing this, I'm guessing, would not suddenly make the fantasy disappear.
The elements that are key for me with the cuckold fantasy are that the woman is sexually insatiable and therefore not satisfied with just me, and thereby she is the instigator who chooses the guy and how often and for how long they see each other. Although I am not inadequate sexually, and am well endowed, I still like the idea that the other guy is bigger, better looking, a better lover, who can cum more and more often than I can, and that she prefers having sex with him. I like being either somewhat or totally denied from having sex with my wife, since she is saving herself for another guy. Although I am turned on by her being with lots of guys, I still prefer the idea of her having a regular boyfriend who she sees longterm. I like either knowing or not knowing about her dates. I'm turned on by her either coming home late, or not until the next morning, or even having her bring him to our house to have him sleep over with me stuck on the couch. Here I recognize the emergence of a definite element of degradation and humiliation into the fantasy, which confuses me, since I am not by nature a submissive person at all. As I pointed out earlier, I do not have an fantasy about her getting pregnant, but it is of major importance to me that they always fuck without a condom, with him usually cumming inside my wife. She is on the pill, so there is no risk of pregnancy, but without a condom it just seems to complete the idea of another guy taking my place or violating my wife if you will, for lack of a better way of putting it. If I do get to have sex with my own wife, the idea of me being ****** to use a condom, while her lover never does, is also a big turn on for me. As for any bisexual elements, in a threesome situation, I am turned on by pretty much anything going on. Outside of a threesome situation, I am turned on by the idea of either fucking my wife while she still has another guys cum in her, or even by giving her oral after another guy has cum in her. I'm embarrassed to admit to a lot of this, as I do not have any homosexual thoughts or urges outside of this fantasy, but I'm hoping in this forum I would not be labelled or judged for this. So overall, my fantasy has elements of voyeurism, cheating, being denied sexually, humiliation, and even bisexuality. However, I very much love my wife, I don't want her to be involved with anyone else other than sexually, and having been married for 10 years, I don't think I have committment issues, etc.
As I mentioned, at times I have a tendency to allow this fantasy to dominate my sex life, although I have worked on this a lot. My wife no longer wants to even indulge me talking about it only in a fantasy sense, but I am not able to just shut this fantasy off, and I'm not sure I would necessarily want to. So, I'm left keeping this fantasy to myself, at times being confused by it, ashamed of it, and frustrated by it. I would love some input by anyone as to their opinion on where this fantasy comes from in my situation, and just to hear from someone who can identify with these same thoughts and fantasies. I guess I'm just needing to finally talk to someone about this, now that I know that I am by no means alone with this.
Thanks for reading my novel length story and for any replies I may receive, and for welcoming me to the forum so I have some kind of outlet.
M
Mickle
Guest
This is my assessment .
I am the eldest of 3 boys born to a domineering Irish mother, who used to constantly put my father down publicly in front of friends and family and in the home in front of us children.
Whatever achievements we made at school were never enough for mum.
My two youngest brothers initially married women who screwed around with other men, both divorced their first wives, my youngest divorced his second wife when her financial demands became unbearable, she too screwed around and the youngest son has a lot of the characteristics of her lover at the time.
My middle brother married his second wife, who is a domineering bitch, who screws around as well!
Not surprisingly my late mother liked my wife and my middle brother’s second wife.
When I started dating and bringing girls home, my mother always considered them unsuitable and would constantly criticise me in front of them, telling them to make me change that tie, shirt, jacket etc and not to allow me to walk over them! I lost many girl friends very quickly, but those who took her advice and dominated me, I dated for quite long periods.
Fast forward to my wife, I met her when she was 19, I knew of her from some of my friends who had been out with her, they basically said she was a slut who would go with anyone. I found out later this was no exaggeration. She was walking home from the station having missed the last bus, I pulled up beside her to offer her a lift without realising who she was. When I pulled up beside her and spoke to her, she opened the door and got in. I drove her to near her house and thought I might as well try it on, with a quickness I had never seen before, I got a slap across my face and was told “NEVER DO THAT AGAIN” I never have. I started grovelling believing my friends had made it up about her being easy, she told me that she was going to a party on Saturday and I could take her there in my car, which I did. As I rang the door bell, the hostess opened the door I moved forward to introduce my self, I went to move indoors and my then girlfriend told me” Don’t you dare ever go into a room in front of me” I moved back and let her in. As the party progressed I was obvious that she knew a lot of the guys there and was dancing and smooching with them in front of me, about 11pm, she told me you might as well go home some of the guys here are going to another party, ring me on Wednesday.
I rang her on Wednesday and she told me she was going to a friends house warming on Friday and I was to pick her up at 1am, I parked outside, could see her kissing some guy, I just waited. At 2am she came out smelling of booze, cigarettes and sex. I drove her home. This continued up to us getting married, when she got picked up at the Hotel disco, this was what my married life was to be about.
Unlike other guys, she chooses who, where and what she does. All I will get is I am going out with so and so tonight. I have been married to her for over 30 years, she is still as promiscuous as the day I met her. Yet she is very domineering and doesn’t think anything of humiliating me in public.
In my family all of the wives came from different back grounds and different areas yet all the boys were drawn dominating women who screwed about. So for me being a cuck is something I was trained to be from a child.
I am the eldest of 3 boys born to a domineering Irish mother, who used to constantly put my father down publicly in front of friends and family and in the home in front of us children.
Whatever achievements we made at school were never enough for mum.
My two youngest brothers initially married women who screwed around with other men, both divorced their first wives, my youngest divorced his second wife when her financial demands became unbearable, she too screwed around and the youngest son has a lot of the characteristics of her lover at the time.
My middle brother married his second wife, who is a domineering bitch, who screws around as well!
Not surprisingly my late mother liked my wife and my middle brother’s second wife.
When I started dating and bringing girls home, my mother always considered them unsuitable and would constantly criticise me in front of them, telling them to make me change that tie, shirt, jacket etc and not to allow me to walk over them! I lost many girl friends very quickly, but those who took her advice and dominated me, I dated for quite long periods.
Fast forward to my wife, I met her when she was 19, I knew of her from some of my friends who had been out with her, they basically said she was a slut who would go with anyone. I found out later this was no exaggeration. She was walking home from the station having missed the last bus, I pulled up beside her to offer her a lift without realising who she was. When I pulled up beside her and spoke to her, she opened the door and got in. I drove her to near her house and thought I might as well try it on, with a quickness I had never seen before, I got a slap across my face and was told “NEVER DO THAT AGAIN” I never have. I started grovelling believing my friends had made it up about her being easy, she told me that she was going to a party on Saturday and I could take her there in my car, which I did. As I rang the door bell, the hostess opened the door I moved forward to introduce my self, I went to move indoors and my then girlfriend told me” Don’t you dare ever go into a room in front of me” I moved back and let her in. As the party progressed I was obvious that she knew a lot of the guys there and was dancing and smooching with them in front of me, about 11pm, she told me you might as well go home some of the guys here are going to another party, ring me on Wednesday.
I rang her on Wednesday and she told me she was going to a friends house warming on Friday and I was to pick her up at 1am, I parked outside, could see her kissing some guy, I just waited. At 2am she came out smelling of booze, cigarettes and sex. I drove her home. This continued up to us getting married, when she got picked up at the Hotel disco, this was what my married life was to be about.
Unlike other guys, she chooses who, where and what she does. All I will get is I am going out with so and so tonight. I have been married to her for over 30 years, she is still as promiscuous as the day I met her. Yet she is very domineering and doesn’t think anything of humiliating me in public.
In my family all of the wives came from different back grounds and different areas yet all the boys were drawn dominating women who screwed about. So for me being a cuck is something I was trained to be from a child.
Yes becoming a cuckold is the ultimate submission
My 2cents worth believes Angiven is right. Many males grown up in households where the woman is the dominant one and ordered and gave punishment to the male child. He grows up respecting and even worshiping the woman but looks to her for guidence and is lost without her telling him what to do. He may or may not have sexual desires for her, but will almost always be sexually aroused by her. She may raise one son to be a sissy wimp and another to be an alpha male stud.
HTML:
[quote="Angevin, post: 224124"]I think, for the most part, cuckolding is just a variation of s&m/b&d. Im guessing a lot of cucks were into being dominated by women before they discovered cuckolding. Cuckolding is being dominated by a woman but at it's most extreme. Nothing is as degrading, nothing is more of a submission to a woman than to be willing to stand by as other men fuck her or to even be "made" to take part by serving/pleasuring the man that's fucking your wife. A cuck might not be bisexual at all but could be dressed like a girl and made to suck a bull's cock or take that bull's cock up his ass and he gets off on what the act represents...utter submission. The bull, really, is just a prop in the same way that a riding crop, handcuffs, or a paddle is.
Now, what the woman gets out of it might be something altogether different than whatever she might get out of being a "dominatrix" to her husband. She might like that, sure. She might just like the freedom of fucking other guys and is just thrilled that her husband gets off on it and considers him sometimes watching (or whatever) a small price to pay for being given such vast privileges. She might just like being the center of attention, the queen of the ball so to speak and having two men drooling over you in such close proximity (cuck and bull alike) would be very gratifying to someone like that. I'm thinking this because I would think it would feel very empowering, having my wife standing by ready to serve while I was also enjoying the attentions of some cute little thing.[/QUOTE]My 2cents worth believes Angiven is right. Many males grown up in households where the woman is the dominant one and ordered and gave punishment to the male child. He grows up respecting and even worshiping the woman but looks to her for guidence and is lost without her telling him what to do. He may or may not have sexual desires for her, but will almost always be sexually aroused by her. She may raise one son to be a sissy wimp and another to be an alpha male stud.
Attachments
Is "nagging" psychologically destructive? Maybe sometimes, but not always...
Mickle,
There are many intriguing posts in this thread, but I find yours particularly interesting.
I used to consider this practice by married women very destructive, in a psychological sense, to their husbands. For example: my closest male friend (who lives ca. 2000 miles away, but we tend to see each other every one or two years) had a younger brother who was what could reasonably be called a prominent citizen in a large midwestern city. He did very well professionally, had a correspondingly high income, and also had a high-level politically-appointed position with respect to a large university in his city. Once, my friend took me to visit his brother, his wife and their relatively-young children at their home, for reasons related to joint work he and I were involved in at the time. We stayed overnight.
I was surprised when it turned out my friend's brother's wife (his sister-in-law) "nagged" him frequently and in what seemed to me a rather mean-spirited way, in front of their children and my friend and me. How can this be (I thought); why doesn't he have sufficient self-confidence, in the context of his own home and family, to refuse to accept this behavior from his wife?
Years later, my friend's brother went heavily downhill because of alcoholism. (My friend's family tends to be susceptible to that, although he hasn't had any problem with it.) Gradually but steadily my friend's brother lost his high-level political appointment, then his professional position and his income, then his wife and children... for a time, he lived in my friend's basement. Finally he was arrested for DUI, and thrown in jail where — having not yet become sober — he died late at night for a reason, apparently not suicide, that clearly should not have happened. (Later the city, which didn't want this case to go to trial for obvious reasons, settled a lawsuit brought by his family but that's unrelated to this post.)
Subsequently I suspected the steady nagging my friend's brother endured from his wife may have been an important element... perhaps even the most important reason... for his increased drinking and everything that followed. That, however, was speculation on my part. My friend never said anything to suggest he thought that was the case. My friend also has never said anything to indicate his brother's wife was fucking other men, nor did I observe anything during my visit to suggest that. I.e., I have no reason to suspect he was a cuckold.
Since joining this forum in 2006, I have come to realize a significant percentage of men (I have no idea what percentage, specifically) want to be dominated and ordered around by their wives, certainly within their own homes including in front of their children, if not in public... and some even want to be submissive to their wives in public. AND a significant (obviously-overlapping) percentage of men want their wives to not only dominate them but cuckold them as well, all for reasons closely-related to their sexuality. That is, they seek and marry or establish LTRs with women who will treat them in these ways. This has greatly complicated — indeed, destroyed to a large extent — my earlier simpler view that if a woman "nags" her husband, especially in front of their children and others, that will likely have a psychologically-destructive effect on him. Apparently "it ain't necessarily so."
Other posts in this forum, as well as at least one entire thread, strongly suggest that if a man is his wife's cuckold it is MUCH more probable his father will have been his mother's cuckold than would be the case if the cuckolded man had parents who, while he was growing up at home, were sexually-faithful to each other. I suppose the reason must be that a man's mother is, like it or not, his model for what a woman is supposed to be like, and his father is similarly his model for what he should be like as a man when he grows up and marries. Ergo, men with cuckoldress mothers tend to seek and marry women who will cuckold them, perhaps in spite of themselves in some cases. This view may be too simple, but it seems like the most obvious interpretation.
—Custer
Mickle,
There are many intriguing posts in this thread, but I find yours particularly interesting.
Mickle said:
I used to consider this practice by married women very destructive, in a psychological sense, to their husbands. For example: my closest male friend (who lives ca. 2000 miles away, but we tend to see each other every one or two years) had a younger brother who was what could reasonably be called a prominent citizen in a large midwestern city. He did very well professionally, had a correspondingly high income, and also had a high-level politically-appointed position with respect to a large university in his city. Once, my friend took me to visit his brother, his wife and their relatively-young children at their home, for reasons related to joint work he and I were involved in at the time. We stayed overnight.
I was surprised when it turned out my friend's brother's wife (his sister-in-law) "nagged" him frequently and in what seemed to me a rather mean-spirited way, in front of their children and my friend and me. How can this be (I thought); why doesn't he have sufficient self-confidence, in the context of his own home and family, to refuse to accept this behavior from his wife?
Years later, my friend's brother went heavily downhill because of alcoholism. (My friend's family tends to be susceptible to that, although he hasn't had any problem with it.) Gradually but steadily my friend's brother lost his high-level political appointment, then his professional position and his income, then his wife and children... for a time, he lived in my friend's basement. Finally he was arrested for DUI, and thrown in jail where — having not yet become sober — he died late at night for a reason, apparently not suicide, that clearly should not have happened. (Later the city, which didn't want this case to go to trial for obvious reasons, settled a lawsuit brought by his family but that's unrelated to this post.)
Subsequently I suspected the steady nagging my friend's brother endured from his wife may have been an important element... perhaps even the most important reason... for his increased drinking and everything that followed. That, however, was speculation on my part. My friend never said anything to suggest he thought that was the case. My friend also has never said anything to indicate his brother's wife was fucking other men, nor did I observe anything during my visit to suggest that. I.e., I have no reason to suspect he was a cuckold.
Since joining this forum in 2006, I have come to realize a significant percentage of men (I have no idea what percentage, specifically) want to be dominated and ordered around by their wives, certainly within their own homes including in front of their children, if not in public... and some even want to be submissive to their wives in public. AND a significant (obviously-overlapping) percentage of men want their wives to not only dominate them but cuckold them as well, all for reasons closely-related to their sexuality. That is, they seek and marry or establish LTRs with women who will treat them in these ways. This has greatly complicated — indeed, destroyed to a large extent — my earlier simpler view that if a woman "nags" her husband, especially in front of their children and others, that will likely have a psychologically-destructive effect on him. Apparently "it ain't necessarily so."
Mickle said:
Other posts in this forum, as well as at least one entire thread, strongly suggest that if a man is his wife's cuckold it is MUCH more probable his father will have been his mother's cuckold than would be the case if the cuckolded man had parents who, while he was growing up at home, were sexually-faithful to each other. I suppose the reason must be that a man's mother is, like it or not, his model for what a woman is supposed to be like, and his father is similarly his model for what he should be like as a man when he grows up and marries. Ergo, men with cuckoldress mothers tend to seek and marry women who will cuckold them, perhaps in spite of themselves in some cases. This view may be too simple, but it seems like the most obvious interpretation.
—Custer
M
Mickle
Guest
Custer Laststand said:
Custer thanks for your thoughtful comments and insight.
I do not consider the way my wife treats me as nagging. With nagging, a wife eventually wears you down by her constant insistence on you doing a particular task her way.
Where as my wife is very domineering, which like all domineering women, she is a bully!. I have been publicly humiliated numerous times by her speaking to me like a child in front of other people with the inference on “You will do what I say without question, when I tell you to”, I have been slapped across my face publicly for daring to disagree with her.
Yet I work in a multinational company at Senior Director Level, with lots of friends and acquaintances in similar director positions, and I would not allow anyone male or female to treat me the way my wife treats me.
My wife works in a very senior position in the public relations section ( She is a corporate lawyer) of another multinational. She rarely goes to a corporate function, where she does not go home with some one.
We are both members of golf clubs and attend many social functions, where I either get the “Glare from her” or she speaks across me shutting me up.
It’s a bit like knowing that if I stand up to the school bully in the playground, I will get a bloody nose.
People say why don’t you leave her, that would be simple. But as soon as I left, because I have been so conditioned from childhood and marriage, I would need the security of another dominant woman.
I have now been so conditioned now, that when she walks past me naked or partially clothed, I get no sexual arousal whatsoever. Yet when I am orally pleasing her, after an evening out with her latest boyfriend, and she is reminding me of my inadequacies and the reasons she has to seek other guys.
The more she humiliates me the more I get aroused, for me and I am sure many others, its like a drug or alcohol, the more I get the more I need.
I know the physiological theories behind being a cuckold are numerous , but for me having a dominant women in my life, surrendering every aspect of manhood to her is what makes every day enjoyable for me.
Mickle,
You're welcome. Thanks for your interesting reply; it sheds much more light on the psychology of your marriage.
I see what you're saying. At a local strip club some time ago, one of the strippers — a very tall and gorgeous woman — asked me if I would like to talk. I said "Yes, ma'am" (of course). As we conversed, she mentioned she had a university degree in psychology. I said, "Very impressive..." and noted it isn't unusual for women to work their way through college as strippers (a couple other women at that club are doing so). She asked if I wanted to be mistreated. I said, "Um... well... I guess, sort of...". She ordered me to "Follow her" (I did, naturally) to a different location, where she ordered me to "untuck my shirt and sit down." She then did a lap dance for me in the midst of which she slapped my face hard; then asked me if I would like another dance. I said, "Yes please, Ma'am." So, she did another which again included slapping my face hard. Unfortunately, she moved on to a distant city (those women... many, but not all... seem to circulate a lot among different clubs in different cities). When she returned later (briefly), we seemed to be instant friends. I suppose that's part of the art of being a stripper. None of the above did I interpret as "nagging." One of the other women there "orders me around," sometimes within earshot of other patrons (sometimes quite a few of them). I respond in suitably-submissive ways and don't feel "humiliated." Rather, it seems like the appropriate way to respond to an assertive woman.
I've read in the femdom literature that it isn't unusual for men such as yourself who are in positions of authority to want to be dominated by, and endure humiliation from, and be submissive to their wives, because they tend to be stressed out by the necessity of being "in charge" and having to behave in ways that cause others to "respect them" at work, all the time on a daily basis. If, by contrast, their wife is the boss at home (and, in some cases such as yours, even in public), and if they submit and do what she tells them to do, that's a release valve that makes it easier to tolerate the daily pressure of work... or so the hypothesis goes. Would you say that's true of you, or does your motivation for wanting and having a boss-wife who humiliates you at home and in public lie elsewhere?
Very impressive. With naturally-assertive women in positions of authority (attorneys must be assertive by definition), I imagine their motivations for wanting to dominate their husbands at home are somewhat different. At work, their male colleagues continually and in innumerable ways try to put them down, and they must constantly "push back" against that. At home, the idea of having to also "push back" against attempts by their husbands to dominate them is too much to bear — so for them, being dominant (sometimes heavily dominant, as in your case) at home, and having husbands who crave that and submit willingly, is a relief valve from the stress of daily work... or so I speculate. Would you agree this underlies your wife's seemingly-natural desires to "mistreat" you, at least in part, or do her motivations lie elsewhere?
For men in high-level positions (such as yourself), I speculate there's another motivation related to work pressure for wanting and having a cuckoldress wife. That is, if your wife pursues and fucks other men that relieves you of the guilt feelings that would otherwise be caused by not having sufficient time and energy (and libido, perhaps) to satisfy her sexually yourself. Ergo, you can put in the huge amounts of time and effort required to succeed at your work without having to worry about putting in the additional time required to satisfy your wife. In effect, it enables you to delegate that to her and her lovers.
So, perhaps you're very familiar with all the above... or maybe you think it doesn't apply to you and your wife at all... but I suggest it, for whatever it might be worth.
—Custer
Mickle said:
You're welcome. Thanks for your interesting reply; it sheds much more light on the psychology of your marriage.
Mickle said:
I see what you're saying. At a local strip club some time ago, one of the strippers — a very tall and gorgeous woman — asked me if I would like to talk. I said "Yes, ma'am" (of course). As we conversed, she mentioned she had a university degree in psychology. I said, "Very impressive..." and noted it isn't unusual for women to work their way through college as strippers (a couple other women at that club are doing so). She asked if I wanted to be mistreated. I said, "Um... well... I guess, sort of...". She ordered me to "Follow her" (I did, naturally) to a different location, where she ordered me to "untuck my shirt and sit down." She then did a lap dance for me in the midst of which she slapped my face hard; then asked me if I would like another dance. I said, "Yes please, Ma'am." So, she did another which again included slapping my face hard. Unfortunately, she moved on to a distant city (those women... many, but not all... seem to circulate a lot among different clubs in different cities). When she returned later (briefly), we seemed to be instant friends. I suppose that's part of the art of being a stripper. None of the above did I interpret as "nagging." One of the other women there "orders me around," sometimes within earshot of other patrons (sometimes quite a few of them). I respond in suitably-submissive ways and don't feel "humiliated." Rather, it seems like the appropriate way to respond to an assertive woman.
Mickle said:
I've read in the femdom literature that it isn't unusual for men such as yourself who are in positions of authority to want to be dominated by, and endure humiliation from, and be submissive to their wives, because they tend to be stressed out by the necessity of being "in charge" and having to behave in ways that cause others to "respect them" at work, all the time on a daily basis. If, by contrast, their wife is the boss at home (and, in some cases such as yours, even in public), and if they submit and do what she tells them to do, that's a release valve that makes it easier to tolerate the daily pressure of work... or so the hypothesis goes. Would you say that's true of you, or does your motivation for wanting and having a boss-wife who humiliates you at home and in public lie elsewhere?
Mickle said:
Very impressive. With naturally-assertive women in positions of authority (attorneys must be assertive by definition), I imagine their motivations for wanting to dominate their husbands at home are somewhat different. At work, their male colleagues continually and in innumerable ways try to put them down, and they must constantly "push back" against that. At home, the idea of having to also "push back" against attempts by their husbands to dominate them is too much to bear — so for them, being dominant (sometimes heavily dominant, as in your case) at home, and having husbands who crave that and submit willingly, is a relief valve from the stress of daily work... or so I speculate. Would you agree this underlies your wife's seemingly-natural desires to "mistreat" you, at least in part, or do her motivations lie elsewhere?
For men in high-level positions (such as yourself), I speculate there's another motivation related to work pressure for wanting and having a cuckoldress wife. That is, if your wife pursues and fucks other men that relieves you of the guilt feelings that would otherwise be caused by not having sufficient time and energy (and libido, perhaps) to satisfy her sexually yourself. Ergo, you can put in the huge amounts of time and effort required to succeed at your work without having to worry about putting in the additional time required to satisfy your wife. In effect, it enables you to delegate that to her and her lovers.
Mickle said:
So, perhaps you're very familiar with all the above... or maybe you think it doesn't apply to you and your wife at all... but I suggest it, for whatever it might be worth.
—Custer
Warpt said:
That was a very nice touch by your wife.
It would not have been out of order, though, for you to pose a followup question... for instance, "Is that good or bad?" (Maybe it isn't too late for you to remind your wife of her comment, and pose your followup question
Regardless, you left us hanging. Did you decide you should feel "proud" or "upset" or something else (perhaps "turned on")?
Finding the "right" partner is so difficult! When we are young, we know we have sexual desires but there is no easy way to identify them and categorize them. Nowadays, with the internet, it is far easier to see our individual sexual desires are not unique.
If a guy has a very powerful foot fetish, how does he meet a woman who greatly enjoys having her feet pampered and worshiped?
So it is with cheating wives. How does a guy with submissive and/or cuckold fantasies find a cheating woman? They are out there, trust me!
A lot of other factors go in to finding the right mate, to be sure. But, sexual compatibility is important.
marcus
If a guy has a very powerful foot fetish, how does he meet a woman who greatly enjoys having her feet pampered and worshiped?
So it is with cheating wives. How does a guy with submissive and/or cuckold fantasies find a cheating woman? They are out there, trust me!
A lot of other factors go in to finding the right mate, to be sure. But, sexual compatibility is important.
marcus
