..
In the last five years of my practice I've seen an incredible, almost fantastic, rise in this form of sexual practice. It's come to the point where I can tell most people here that you are pretty much "normal" these days, no matter what anyone is willing to admit to in a survey or a census. I came here out of my desire to educate myself further on just how rampant this is and the variations it takes. I've been reading for a few days on these forums and, coupling my findings here with what I hear behind the door of confidentiality without betraying trust, I've formed a few opinions that may help some folks. At least I hope it will help some folks. I suspect it will inflame some.
A couple things .. labels and history. I see a lot of comments along the lines of "Why label it? Just enjoy". I agree. But, in what I do, we need to figure out what it is before we can address it. Otherwise, we're just stumbling and poking at random things. That's where labels I will use come in. If it upsets some to label a certain way, I'm sorry about that. But that is the reason why I will label things. The second is history, i.e. "This has been going on for thousands of years". No, no it really hasn't. Wives have been incredibly unfaithful for thousands of years. True cuckolding is fairly new to the current time period. I can relate it to the sixties and seventies and the "swinging" lifestyle that was very prevalent in society and that relationship to Roman orgies. Of course cuckolding happened in the past. The type of cuckolding described here and I see so often in real life (well, the real life where secrets are told) is a very specific and intense type. Many of the accounts here are not true cuckolding and here we enter "labels" and reasons why this is an epic phenomenon of our times.
Therapists all agree that there are three basic reasons why this is occurring. I have concluded some of my own personal observations that I will add. First and foremost is the masochist. As a masochist craves pain, a true cuckold experiences the most intense pain that can be conjured. As an added bonus, there's not much chance you will die. In the masochist world, this is as safe a pain as people can explore and is a reason people flock to it. Second is the voyeur. A voyeur is not a true cuckold and when you separate these you can start to separate the men from the .. uh .. voyeurs, I suppose. There's nothing wrong with being a voyeur. It's just that you crave a sex show and not the true feelings of a cuckold. A classic clinical test of this is kissing and some petting. If you sit and watch your faithful wife of many years engaging in a loving, caring make-out session with her boyfriend and you, subsequently, feel very intense emotions, emotions that you crave, then you lean towards the side of cuckolding. If you want to see his cock slamming her in the ass and you could care less about anything else, you're probably more of a voyeur. (I apologize for the flagrant language. But it tends to cut through the bullshit and get to the point of what you are trying to say) And I find anal sex is fairly uncommon in the cuckolding circumstance. It's mostly about making love inside of your wife's vagina. There's some form of trigger there for the cuckold. This may help you separate things from voyeur to cuckold as well. And third .. well, third is a touchy subject with males: Latent homosexuality. Every male has it, guys. It's the way we were built. The longer you completely deny it the more anxiety and confusion you will experience. Now, because you prepare your wife's lover with man-on-man oral sex, this is not a homosexual act. This is a sexual act. I am rather surprised at the ratio of men here that profess being a cuckold but condemn or do not express anal sex with another man in the presence and guidance of their wives. In the confidentiality of my office, men of every size and type tell of this in a matter-of-fact way and move on. This is not a big stumbling block for them. Here, it does seem to be that way. I found that enlightening. Again, in the presence and at the direction of your wife or girlfriend, this is not a homosexual act. Simply a sexual act. An act borne mostly of humiliation but also a physical representation of submission. I have seen that when cuckolds surrender to this, their happiness level is raised exponentially. Of course, every cuckold is different. But the thing about that statement is this: Every WIFE of a cuckold is different is a more accurate term. A true cuckold is in complete submission and humiliation and should his wife direct it, then that is that. His satisfaction with the session flows through her capability and expertise at cuckolding her husband. Her skills determine the cuckold's level of satisfaction with the circumstance.
There is more to be said on this ... early trauma, mothers and my own take which includes abandonment issues and the rise of power of women in this society. However, this being a free public forum I have no idea on how any of this is going to be received. If I'm going to take the time to write all this out and even further time to possibly help some people, I have to determine if anybody here really cares about what I am saying or not. Maybe I'm in the wrong place. We'll see.
Finally, determining who are the cuckolds in the world. It's really eye opening, especially so when reading the literature of findings in other countries instead of conveying what I see and hear. Straight away and above all: Cuckolds are intelligent .. without exception. You generally are not going to find Billy Bob with a third nipple living this lifestyle. Usually, dumb men (and I generalize here for the point of brevity) .. dumb men want to fight or kill someone having sex with their wife. Oddly for most, but extremely revealing, most true cuckolds are white or of Indian descent. According to findings, the amount of cuckold lifestyle members in the U.K. dwarfs the ratio here in America. And this is extended to India. Perhaps by their many years of infrastructure as a British colony. It's a juicy sampling and widely discussed by sociologist academics. Furthermore, another revealing, and telling, detail I see is the amount of true cuckolds that are white. I, personally, have treated no black or Hispanic men that are confused by this desire. However, this is only what I have seen personally. There are no real studies that break this down in to race. Yet. It will be coming, I am sure.
Lastly, if I could further inject my OPINION here .. not scientific data, just opinion .. people don't speak publicly about this. Nobody sits down in the cart and says to their golfing buddy "You know, Jim, I was eating my wife's boyfriend's cum out of her pussy the other day ..". This is just not spoken out loud in our society. Of all the people you see posting here, there are 15 times that many that simply read and are trying to understand why they have these cravings. I can add this as a member of this community now .. it is very important that the active leaders of this community that I see call out "bullshit". Some of it is flagrant here and many get caught and you don't hear from them again. The reason I say, and request that the leaders of this community continue to do that with vigilance, is that there is so little clinical information. I cannot foresee how this lifestyle could continue to be in the dark and unspoken worlds of society with the massive explosion I have seen in practice. But the data tells me that a lot of cuckolds are getting their information from places like this. When you catch somebody blatantly lying and exaggerating, try to call them out. To express true experiences and desires as a means of communicating helps others understand themselves. When it is bald faced and blatantly fictitious, it really could damage some people that stay quiet. You're providing the community, and the larger unheard community, with a great service. In my opinion. Nothing more.
OK .. that will get us started. Now, let's see if anybody is interested in the view from my chair and how people react in this community to this post.
Doc
..
In the last five years of my practice I've seen an incredible, almost fantastic, rise in this form of sexual practice. It's come to the point where I can tell most people here that you are pretty much "normal" these days, no matter what anyone is willing to admit to in a survey or a census. I came here out of my desire to educate myself further on just how rampant this is and the variations it takes. I've been reading for a few days on these forums and, coupling my findings here with what I hear behind the door of confidentiality without betraying trust, I've formed a few opinions that may help some folks. At least I hope it will help some folks. I suspect it will inflame some.
A couple things .. labels and history. I see a lot of comments along the lines of "Why label it? Just enjoy". I agree. But, in what I do, we need to figure out what it is before we can address it. Otherwise, we're just stumbling and poking at random things. That's where labels I will use come in. If it upsets some to label a certain way, I'm sorry about that. But that is the reason why I will label things. The second is history, i.e. "This has been going on for thousands of years". No, no it really hasn't. Wives have been incredibly unfaithful for thousands of years. True cuckolding is fairly new to the current time period. I can relate it to the sixties and seventies and the "swinging" lifestyle that was very prevalent in society and that relationship to Roman orgies. Of course cuckolding happened in the past. The type of cuckolding described here and I see so often in real life (well, the real life where secrets are told) is a very specific and intense type. Many of the accounts here are not true cuckolding and here we enter "labels" and reasons why this is an epic phenomenon of our times.
Therapists all agree that there are three basic reasons why this is occurring. I have concluded some of my own personal observations that I will add. First and foremost is the masochist. As a masochist craves pain, a true cuckold experiences the most intense pain that can be conjured. As an added bonus, there's not much chance you will die. In the masochist world, this is as safe a pain as people can explore and is a reason people flock to it. Second is the voyeur. A voyeur is not a true cuckold and when you separate these you can start to separate the men from the .. uh .. voyeurs, I suppose. There's nothing wrong with being a voyeur. It's just that you crave a sex show and not the true feelings of a cuckold. A classic clinical test of this is kissing and some petting. If you sit and watch your faithful wife of many years engaging in a loving, caring make-out session with her boyfriend and you, subsequently, feel very intense emotions, emotions that you crave, then you lean towards the side of cuckolding. If you want to see his cock slamming her in the ass and you could care less about anything else, you're probably more of a voyeur. (I apologize for the flagrant language. But it tends to cut through the bullshit and get to the point of what you are trying to say) And I find anal sex is fairly uncommon in the cuckolding circumstance. It's mostly about making love inside of your wife's vagina. There's some form of trigger there for the cuckold. This may help you separate things from voyeur to cuckold as well. And third .. well, third is a touchy subject with males: Latent homosexuality. Every male has it, guys. It's the way we were built. The longer you completely deny it the more anxiety and confusion you will experience. Now, because you prepare your wife's lover with man-on-man oral sex, this is not a homosexual act. This is a sexual act. I am rather surprised at the ratio of men here that profess being a cuckold but condemn or do not express anal sex with another man in the presence and guidance of their wives. In the confidentiality of my office, men of every size and type tell of this in a matter-of-fact way and move on. This is not a big stumbling block for them. Here, it does seem to be that way. I found that enlightening. Again, in the presence and at the direction of your wife or girlfriend, this is not a homosexual act. Simply a sexual act. An act borne mostly of humiliation but also a physical representation of submission. I have seen that when cuckolds surrender to this, their happiness level is raised exponentially. Of course, every cuckold is different. But the thing about that statement is this: Every WIFE of a cuckold is different is a more accurate term. A true cuckold is in complete submission and humiliation and should his wife direct it, then that is that. His satisfaction with the session flows through her capability and expertise at cuckolding her husband. Her skills determine the cuckold's level of satisfaction with the circumstance.
There is more to be said on this ... early trauma, mothers and my own take which includes abandonment issues and the rise of power of women in this society. However, this being a free public forum I have no idea on how any of this is going to be received. If I'm going to take the time to write all this out and even further time to possibly help some people, I have to determine if anybody here really cares about what I am saying or not. Maybe I'm in the wrong place. We'll see.
Finally, determining who are the cuckolds in the world. It's really eye opening, especially so when reading the literature of findings in other countries instead of conveying what I see and hear. Straight away and above all: Cuckolds are intelligent .. without exception. You generally are not going to find Billy Bob with a third nipple living this lifestyle. Usually, dumb men (and I generalize here for the point of brevity) .. dumb men want to fight or kill someone having sex with their wife. Oddly for most, but extremely revealing, most true cuckolds are white or of Indian descent. According to findings, the amount of cuckold lifestyle members in the U.K. dwarfs the ratio here in America. And this is extended to India. Perhaps by their many years of infrastructure as a British colony. It's a juicy sampling and widely discussed by sociologist academics. Furthermore, another revealing, and telling, detail I see is the amount of true cuckolds that are white. I, personally, have treated no black or Hispanic men that are confused by this desire. However, this is only what I have seen personally. There are no real studies that break this down in to race. Yet. It will be coming, I am sure.
Lastly, if I could further inject my OPINION here .. not scientific data, just opinion .. people don't speak publicly about this. Nobody sits down in the cart and says to their golfing buddy "You know, Jim, I was eating my wife's boyfriend's cum out of her pussy the other day ..". This is just not spoken out loud in our society. Of all the people you see posting here, there are 15 times that many that simply read and are trying to understand why they have these cravings. I can add this as a member of this community now .. it is very important that the active leaders of this community that I see call out "bullshit". Some of it is flagrant here and many get caught and you don't hear from them again. The reason I say, and request that the leaders of this community continue to do that with vigilance, is that there is so little clinical information. I cannot foresee how this lifestyle could continue to be in the dark and unspoken worlds of society with the massive explosion I have seen in practice. But the data tells me that a lot of cuckolds are getting their information from places like this. When you catch somebody blatantly lying and exaggerating, try to call them out. To express true experiences and desires as a means of communicating helps others understand themselves. When it is bald faced and blatantly fictitious, it really could damage some people that stay quiet. You're providing the community, and the larger unheard community, with a great service. In my opinion. Nothing more.
OK .. that will get us started. Now, let's see if anybody is interested in the view from my chair and how people react in this community to this post.
Doc
..
