More on Psychology of Cuckolds
Part 2:
MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO THIS DISCUSSION – With the above stated, as noted, for a number of years I have conducted nearly non-stop armchair and first hand research and have gathered a substantial amount of information about the LS. I have drawn a number of conclusions over the years, some that still hold water and others that have long since been discredited.
I won’t attempt to present all of my findings and conclusions in this post. However, I believe that I have some valuable thoughts on the subject based on your desire to diagnose and treat those that are involved (and perhaps are suffering) because of their involvement in cuckoldry. My comments are directed primarily at the cuckolds (men) themselves, not the “hot wives” or “bulls”. Below are some observations and conclusions I hope you find useful.1. Most, if not all, cuckolds have strong voyeuristic tendencie
1. Voyeurism is an innate element in their sexual make up. And the plain truth is, voyeurs would rather watch others in sexual situations than be a part of these activities themselves. I’m sure there is an “evolutionary” reason for the strong desire to watch others (even significant others) “mate” with other men--- but suffice to say voyeurism is an essential component in every cuckold’s psyche.
2. Perhaps the most primary element in cuckoldry is the achievement and maintaining of “sustained sexual arousal” (SSA). Most, if not all, common aspects (practices) of cuckoldry are designed to generate sustained sexual arousal in the cuckold (and perhaps the hot wife too). If nothing else the on-going (24/7) erotic humiliation cuckolds experience by the reality that their wives have sexual relationships outside their union (be it marriage or other commitment to one another)--- is enough to keep them in a state of constant sexual arousal. Other elements of the lifestyle that generate and perpetuate SSA include:
The list goes on and on. The point is, sustained sexual arousal based largely on erotic humiliation is an essential component in cuckoldry and achieving and keeping a state of SSA is a cuckold’s primary goal and reward. (“Sexual abstinence (denial) means no physical contact with a partner, no masturbation, no pornography viewing and no orgasms. Typical a man that goes through 3 weeks without an orgasm will experience testosterone levels that are elevated about 16% above the levels associated with regular (2x or 3x/week) intercourse”).
(“Deep, sustained sexual arousal stirs something ancient in us, and is intensely validating. It feels special, and makes us feel special”).
3. There is a school of thought that believes some cuckolds suffer from ADD/ ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and/or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). All three of these recognized mental illnesses can lead to excessive masturbation and even to sexual addiction (just recently being looked at for inclusion in the DMS). In essence, men that suffer from these disorders self-medicate themselves through sustained sexual activity, which generates dopamine and other “feel good” hormones.
(Note: “According to the low arousal (not just sex) theory, people with ADHD need excessive activity as self-stimulation because of their state of abnormally low arousal. The theory states that those with ADHD cannot self-moderate, and their attention can only be gained by means of environmental stimuli…without enough stimulation coming from the environment, an the ADHD person will create it him or herself”).
4. The cuckold LS requires a certain degree of sexual stimulation on a 24/7 basis--- at least for the male. This attention to sexual arousal on a daily basis could be viewed as a type of “sexual addiction”. I do not believe there are diagnostic criteria established in the DSM-IV for sexual addiction at this time, and there is even controversy regarding the existence of sexual addiction and regarding treatment. Notwithstanding, proponents of the idea of sexual addiction list the following “unofficial” symptoms of the disorder:
Recurrent
My guess is that those of us who are really involved in cuckoldry will recognize some of these symptoms in themselves. I certainly do.
Well that’s all the time I have to give to this discussion for now. Hope the Doc and others find this post interesting and helpful.
CuckoldMick
Part 2:
MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO THIS DISCUSSION – With the above stated, as noted, for a number of years I have conducted nearly non-stop armchair and first hand research and have gathered a substantial amount of information about the LS. I have drawn a number of conclusions over the years, some that still hold water and others that have long since been discredited.
I won’t attempt to present all of my findings and conclusions in this post. However, I believe that I have some valuable thoughts on the subject based on your desire to diagnose and treat those that are involved (and perhaps are suffering) because of their involvement in cuckoldry. My comments are directed primarily at the cuckolds (men) themselves, not the “hot wives” or “bulls”. Below are some observations and conclusions I hope you find useful.1. Most, if not all, cuckolds have strong voyeuristic tendencie
1. Voyeurism is an innate element in their sexual make up. And the plain truth is, voyeurs would rather watch others in sexual situations than be a part of these activities themselves. I’m sure there is an “evolutionary” reason for the strong desire to watch others (even significant others) “mate” with other men--- but suffice to say voyeurism is an essential component in every cuckold’s psyche.
2. Perhaps the most primary element in cuckoldry is the achievement and maintaining of “sustained sexual arousal” (SSA). Most, if not all, common aspects (practices) of cuckoldry are designed to generate sustained sexual arousal in the cuckold (and perhaps the hot wife too). If nothing else the on-going (24/7) erotic humiliation cuckolds experience by the reality that their wives have sexual relationships outside their union (be it marriage or other commitment to one another)--- is enough to keep them in a state of constant sexual arousal. Other elements of the lifestyle that generate and perpetuate SSA include:
- Watching, listening and/or being ignored by the wife and her lover.
- Being denied marital sex.
- Tease and Denial play.
- Wearing a chastity device (short or long term).
- Being feminized, even if this is just being asked to wear panties now and then.
- Preparing the hot wife for her date.
- Waiting and wondering at home on date night.
- Witnessing the wife texting or talking to her BFs.
The list goes on and on. The point is, sustained sexual arousal based largely on erotic humiliation is an essential component in cuckoldry and achieving and keeping a state of SSA is a cuckold’s primary goal and reward. (“Sexual abstinence (denial) means no physical contact with a partner, no masturbation, no pornography viewing and no orgasms. Typical a man that goes through 3 weeks without an orgasm will experience testosterone levels that are elevated about 16% above the levels associated with regular (2x or 3x/week) intercourse”).
(“Deep, sustained sexual arousal stirs something ancient in us, and is intensely validating. It feels special, and makes us feel special”).
3. There is a school of thought that believes some cuckolds suffer from ADD/ ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and/or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). All three of these recognized mental illnesses can lead to excessive masturbation and even to sexual addiction (just recently being looked at for inclusion in the DMS). In essence, men that suffer from these disorders self-medicate themselves through sustained sexual activity, which generates dopamine and other “feel good” hormones.
(Note: “According to the low arousal (not just sex) theory, people with ADHD need excessive activity as self-stimulation because of their state of abnormally low arousal. The theory states that those with ADHD cannot self-moderate, and their attention can only be gained by means of environmental stimuli…without enough stimulation coming from the environment, an the ADHD person will create it him or herself”).
4. The cuckold LS requires a certain degree of sexual stimulation on a 24/7 basis--- at least for the male. This attention to sexual arousal on a daily basis could be viewed as a type of “sexual addiction”. I do not believe there are diagnostic criteria established in the DSM-IV for sexual addiction at this time, and there is even controversy regarding the existence of sexual addiction and regarding treatment. Notwithstanding, proponents of the idea of sexual addiction list the following “unofficial” symptoms of the disorder:
Recurrent
- failure (pattern) to resist impulses to engage in extreme acts of lewd sex.
- Frequent engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period of time than intended.
- Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.
- Inordinate amount of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience.
- Preoccupation with the behavior or preparatory activities.
- Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
- Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
- Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
- Distress, anxiety, depression, restlessness, or violence if unable to engage in the behavior.
My guess is that those of us who are really involved in cuckoldry will recognize some of these symptoms in themselves. I certainly do.
Well that’s all the time I have to give to this discussion for now. Hope the Doc and others find this post interesting and helpful.
CuckoldMick
