She Is His
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They are still asleep as there is silence in our bedroom and the door is closed still. I know I left them around midnight when Sue said that it was time for some 'alone time' with Paul.
I think maybe having last weekend 'off' in terms of seeing Paul had left me feeling a bit different - I guess it's something I'll still have to get used to a bit more. I think a part of me was still looking or thinking about sex with her after she had gotten better - but that didn't happen and looking back at it, I'm glad it didn't.
It is a surreal feeling to look at the calendar and realize we are now 9 weeks into this and honestly, while I do at times feel a bit of a loss regarding not sharing this kind of intimacy with her - I feel good about it. I can't explain it fully - but knowing I feel horny and knowing I'm not going to have her that way - while it makes me feel the loss - to be honest, it feels amazingly good too - to know that her body, her pussy, isn't solely there for me any more. It why when she asks about how it will be if perhaps I don't cum in her ever again - it's why it turns me on when she says it even if it isn't necessarily for real or forever - it reminds me of what I am giving up. It is a scary thought to me though in some ways - as others here have said, perhaps this is all a phase or temporary - something we are going through or want to experience.
But at 9 weeks in now - I will share that thoughts of this being a more long-term arrangement at still exciting to me to hear her talk about.
Last night Sue had taken me aside after Paul got here and asked me if I "wanted to do the same" as the last time - meaning did I want to clean her up, etc. I told her as I always did - if it's what she wanted, then I'd do it. She smiled and said it made her feel good to share with me if I wanted - and she added that she liked how it felt to have me do that to her.
I hear noises now from our bedroom so I'm going to cut this short right now and go downstairs and wait for them or at least her to come down and have some breakfast or at least take a cup of coffee back up to the bedroom (and maybe leave the door open).
I think maybe having last weekend 'off' in terms of seeing Paul had left me feeling a bit different - I guess it's something I'll still have to get used to a bit more. I think a part of me was still looking or thinking about sex with her after she had gotten better - but that didn't happen and looking back at it, I'm glad it didn't.
It is a surreal feeling to look at the calendar and realize we are now 9 weeks into this and honestly, while I do at times feel a bit of a loss regarding not sharing this kind of intimacy with her - I feel good about it. I can't explain it fully - but knowing I feel horny and knowing I'm not going to have her that way - while it makes me feel the loss - to be honest, it feels amazingly good too - to know that her body, her pussy, isn't solely there for me any more. It why when she asks about how it will be if perhaps I don't cum in her ever again - it's why it turns me on when she says it even if it isn't necessarily for real or forever - it reminds me of what I am giving up. It is a scary thought to me though in some ways - as others here have said, perhaps this is all a phase or temporary - something we are going through or want to experience.
But at 9 weeks in now - I will share that thoughts of this being a more long-term arrangement at still exciting to me to hear her talk about.
Last night Sue had taken me aside after Paul got here and asked me if I "wanted to do the same" as the last time - meaning did I want to clean her up, etc. I told her as I always did - if it's what she wanted, then I'd do it. She smiled and said it made her feel good to share with me if I wanted - and she added that she liked how it felt to have me do that to her.
I hear noises now from our bedroom so I'm going to cut this short right now and go downstairs and wait for them or at least her to come down and have some breakfast or at least take a cup of coffee back up to the bedroom (and maybe leave the door open).
Digger - yes - that's part of what I wanted to wait to have more time to share and think about.
Paul left about noon today and Sue is just getting herself out of bed.
I only have a little time right now - but yes, I did clean her up last night when she asked me to. Paul wasn't there when I started but he did come out of the bathroom while I was still licking her. I will say I felt very self-conscious about it to say the least. Paul stepped things up a bit by saying some stuff to me when he saw me, one of which was "I think I left a lot in her". It was definitely new to hear him talk like that.
Paul left about noon today and Sue is just getting herself out of bed.
I only have a little time right now - but yes, I did clean her up last night when she asked me to. Paul wasn't there when I started but he did come out of the bathroom while I was still licking her. I will say I felt very self-conscious about it to say the least. Paul stepped things up a bit by saying some stuff to me when he saw me, one of which was "I think I left a lot in her". It was definitely new to hear him talk like that.
Very interested in your thoughts and feelings. Maybe it's another adjustment on your part. Paul and Sue seem to be encouraging your cleaning Sue when they just finished and while everyone is watching. Maybe another way of showing your approval. Or do I have this wrong?
Digger
Digger
The more you do it the more comfortable it will be for everyone! Its great that he spoke with you as well, he is beginning to feel comfortable with your role. I know it must be hard to rationalize not having penetration but the longer you go without, the easier it gets especially if your sex is just different now with clean up and jerking off. Sounds like you have a great thing going!
I've been trying to think about how to put all of this down and not write a book.
Sue had talked to Paul a bit more on Wednesday and she shared more of that with me before he came over on Saturday.
She told me she had shared some of my "issues" with Paul. At first I was upset and didn't really want him knowing everything, but as she talked I realized she was probably right, that if I could deal with getting comfortable with things with Paul that it would be better all around. I had told her that I still felt awkward around Paul and that I also still had this 'lack of masculinity' type of thing in my head. She laughed and was amused at how tortured I seem to feel at times when she really doesn't think that much about it or that it really isn't as significant as I make it out to be.
I know I had mentioned to her (and here) how self-conscious I felt at cleaning her up after they'd had sex together. And it was one of the things she'd mentioned to him. I was embarassed at first but as she talked - and then when he arrived and we sort of put things a bit more out in the open (as I'll try to share) - I think I may have finally started to get beyond it. It really does seem to be more in my head than anything else - and that it may just be that I need to relax about it and embrace it - as I've found with the other parts of what we're doing.
So when Paul got here on Saturday I was kind of ready. I mean I knew it was going to probably be a bit trying at times but I swore to myself that I would try if Paul (and Sue) were and that I'd be engaging and not pull back as I felt I had at times before.
Again it was a bit surreal when he arrived - after I answered the door and shook his hand the two of them embraced and kissed before we all walked into the living room. We talked about a lot of different stuff - the storm, power outages, all of that stuff - while as I'd mentioned, dinner was in the oven. It was during this time that she asked me if I wanted to do the same with her as the last time they were at our house.
With about 45 minutes before dinner was ready we opened a bottle of wine and as I said, we started to talk about lots of stuff and after she got my confirmation in the kitchen, when I returned to the living room, the conversation subject had shifted a bit. She started it out by saying "I told Paul the other day that you liked being with us... you know.... when we're in bed.... and that you liked helping me out at the end.... you know baby... you licking me down there". Just like that (well as close as I can recall) in front of him. Paul picked up almost immediately and said "it's really cool what you guys are doing" and then he added ".... Steve.... it's all just sex.... it's cool that you are trying to get into it like you are". Before I could really think about what to say he continued and said "I know it must not be easy for you". I have to say, hearing him say that and the way he said it, it really relaxed and disarmed me.
I took a breath and looked at Sue before I answered him and said "yeah, I'm trying not to feel weird about it, thanks...". He continued and said "she's amazing and I hope it's what you want too". Again - the freakin' guy just said it in such a way that it actually made me feel good about it. I don't recall everything I said because right around then the timer went off for dinner - but I know that I told him that he was really good about everything and making me feel more comfortable around them. He answered me candidly - he said that at first he felt very weird about it all especially with me knowing and then watching/being there - but he now sees it as part of what makes Sue happy and what gives her pleasure - he said "I know letting you be a part of it is good for her". I again was stumped for what to say and he continued. He said something like "it's taken me a while but I think I get it" and he looked at me and said "you really like that I make love to your wife". I looked at him and I said calmly "yeah.... I think that's a big part of it...". He smiled and said "Steve, I know you still feel anxious about all of this, but you don't need to".
Again I was about to say something but Sue chimed in and it may have partly been the wine talking but she said "Paul, he (referring to me) still gets up tight about you knowing that he (me again) licks me afterwards". I swallowed whatever words I was about to say and suddenly felt incredibly ******* and hoping dinner would be an excuse to leave or end the conversation. "Steve... man.... that's cool that you'll do that with her...." and he continued "I'd never really seen that before, but man, I'm used to it now and like I said, I think it's cool.... I mean if you don't mind, then I'm really okay with it now". The conversation wasn't really with me though, it was the 2 of them as she replied "oh... he still thinks it's not manly or whatever that he likes to do that...." and she was talking to him not me, to which he replied "well, I wouldn't be doing that but like I said, I think it's really cool that you're into that and that you want to" as he looked towards me. I started to say that I felt self-conscious about "doing that" in front of him to which he laughed and said the same as Sue has said - "oh man, I've known you're into that for a long time now" and he added "but I know it's easier on you if I'm not there so no worries man....". Now there was more to this conversation but I've kind of reduced it down.
I honestly went for broke with it and as I stood up to go tend to dinner with the timer buzzer going off but I said "yeah, it's taken me a while too but I guess I can say it that I like doing it". And without giving myself a chance to turn red or anything, I turned and left the room.
They took it easy with me over dinner - no overt or explicit talk about anything. Maybe a little handy/footy between the 2 of them. It wasn't until after dinner that things got more heated. When we were done I told the 2 of them that I'd tend to the dishes and they should go be comfortable. I heard footsteps and doors upstairs and when I came out of the kitchen, the 2 of them were sitting on the couch - her in just his button-up shirt he'd left - and him in just a t-shirt and shorts that he had either left with her or brought himself. I stood and stared for a moment as they were kissing and her (his?) shirt had ridden up clearly revealing she was naked beneath.
Honestly as I stood there I truly marveled at what I was seeing. As they kissed it seemed effortless and just so natural for his hands to go over her body and yes, as they kissed and I watched, without even thinking about it - she spread her legs and let him run his fingers all over and in her pussy as they kissed. She moaned as he penetrated her but never broke their kiss. He pulled his fingertips out of her before their kiss ended and both looked over at me afterwards. I told her/them that they looked hot together and she giggled that she hoped I liked watching and she pushed him back against the couch and she climbed over him and straddled his lap. The tail of his shirt dropped down or I'd have had a clear view of her as she moved into place. I knew from how she was positioned that her pussy was fully spread apart and from where I sat on the arm of the chair across from them, I could in fact see his fingers just below the shirt-tail playing with her pussy. A moment later she sat up on his lap and slid down his shorts and boxers to his knees and I could see she was stroking his cock as she kissed him yet again.
I was speechless but after their latest kiss ended she turned to me and asked "do you like seeing me getting him all hard and ready baby?". I knew from how she sounded that she'd had quite a bit of wine with dinner as she was pushing at me a bit harder. Paul added in that "she has amazing hands.... not to mention the rest of her...." and I literally watched as he grabbed at her breasts. She stroked him a bit more and when I heard him start to moan a bit I had a feeling things were about to move into high-gear.
I wasn't mistaken. Indeed - as they kissed yet again, this time from behind I could see her hand on his cock as she rubbed the head of it up and down and all around her pussy. I thought for a moment they were going to fuck right then and there - but instead - she got up off of him - leaving him lying there leaning back on the couch with his shorts/underware on the floor by his ankles and his hard cock just bobbing away there. She leaned over and kissed him and said out loud "go on up, I'll be up in a second" He got up - stepped out of his shorts/underwear and picked them up and walked half-naked past me up the stairs.
No sooner had he gone into our bedroom did Sue turn to me and give me a huge kiss and she giggled that she ".... feels so like a teenager sneaking up to have sex in my parents bedroom....". God the way she said it left me almost speechless - the excitement and arousal in her voice - I could only imagine how wet she was going to be for him.
Like last time - I know she likes to have some alone time with him. She's admitted that she likes being alone - knowing I'm not there watching as she lets herself go with him - but she made clear to me (and him) that she like me to be there once they are getting into it and he is already or about to fuck her. This time was no different - she lay back against the headboard with her legs spread wide and he tongue deep in her pussy as I got to the door. I don't know if he knew I was there but he told her that she tasted so good to him at one point.
Before she acknowledged I was there I did have a moment of self-reflection. I honestly could think back to the first few times of seeing her naked with Brad and the feeling of knowing she was giving herself so intimately to him. Seeing her naked and more so - seeing her body ready and waiting for him - it was so much of the same feelings seeing her so wanton for him as he pulled his face away from her pussy and began to stroke his cock to put it in her. Even seeing him naked - it just feels good and right now - like I said - watching them - at that moment I loved the thought that he would be fucking her in a minute. It really was beautiful seeing him rub his cockhead up and down her pussy and watching her labia separate and the head of his cock start to spread her wetness around.
Just before he pushed into her they both took attention to me and it was Paul who said "you can come closer if you want" - he didn't miss a beat and in fact by the time I moved to kneeling next to the bed, he was already in her and I could hear her moaning. I don't know if he said it to me but he was louder and he kept saying "that's sooooo good" every few seconds as he slowly pushed his way into her - each time he'd pull back a bit and then go in more he'd say it. She'd moan back at him and it was just so erotic to see and be up so close to.
I still know that he likes me to stay our of his direct sight when i'm there - despite how he seems to be changing a bit - I still stay out of his sight but I also know that Sue likes to watch me or see me when she opens her eyes so I do tend to stay kneeling upright and make eye contact with her at times. She always glances down and smiles when she sees me stroking my cock - she even said something yesterday about it - that it makes her feel good to see me.
They fucked and fucked for a while. Missionary first - and then she turned around and got on her knees and that was the first time Paul actually talked directly to me. He turned his head to me and said "I love it when she's this wet like this" and as I watched - he took his hands and spread her pussy open revealing everything there was - he held her open with one hand and then he smiled as he turned away from me and I know he deliberately kept himself in such a position that I could see everything. Her pussy still looks so tight from how he had to rub his cock all around her and then I could hear her moaning softly as he pushed into her. She let out a deeper moan and I could see he'd finally gotten his cock into her. I know he saw me jerking off but he didn't say anything about it.
He fucked her till she came at least two if not three times. It was obvious each time because she would moan and start to slam herself back against his cock until she'd cum and then she'd stop and shudder with him buried in her and when she did finally lean forward and he pulled back, even I could see his cock was wetter than before. After her first cum - he reached around with one hand and played with her breasts and with the other he managed to reach and rub her clit. She moaned so loudly after that it was so erotic. I honestly didn't even feel like she was my wife at that point - all I could focus on was her wet pussy taking his cock over and over.
It was after her 3rd orgasm that she collapsed forward from him and his cock came sliding wetly out of her. She rolled over onto her back and as she spread her legs again for him she glanced at me and then looked up at him and she said "put it back in me". He smiled - not at me but in general as she pulled her legs back and apart for him and he just moaned softly as he pushed into her once again.
I'd like to say they talked to me or teased me - they did a little bit - she turned to me and smiled as she told him he "felt sooooo gooood" and he did the same when he said out loud "wow.... you're so wet and open....." - but as they got into it more and more - I was forgotten as should be. I was really into it now and I had my pants down and was openly stroking my cock. She said she saw me through her slit-eyes as he fucked her but he never said a word. I lost track of how many times she came this time - instead I was more focused on him. I didn't say anything but I was actually really into watching him fuck her from up close this time. Seeing his curlies mash into her bare mound and seeing how reddened and swollen she was getting the more he went at her - it really got me going. I could hear the squelchy/slurpy sound of her pussy and I was close enough to even smell her as she got really wet and going.
I suppose it's one of the proof's of truly being beta/cuck - I could tell when he was about to cum in her. Just how his thrusts into her changed as well as how she sounded (she says she can feel his cock grow really thicker just before he cums - and that's the sound of it). Longer and slower became faster, deeper and more urgent. Until I saw him really plunge into her erratically one or two times and then I watch him just push into her deep while he stayed in her he kept thrusting until I heard him groan loudly folllowed by a squeal from her - which was immmediately folllowed by a groan from me as I let go all over my hand, leg and the floor. I grunted out "uhhhh... uhhhhh... uhhhhh...." and then "ahhhhh....". I don't think either of them heard me over their own sounds.
He stayed deep in her for several thrusts and then towards the end - he pulled out a bit and then back in - each time now showing me and spreading their mixed wetness all over the place. Even after I'd stopped spurting I kept stroking I was just sooo horny at that moment. The two of them lay still - she wrapped her arms and legs around him and he'd sort of slouched/relaxed against her but was still buried in her. When they caught their breath he pushed up on his forearms and pulled back slightly and then gave her a few short thrusts which made her moan again.
That was when he looked over to me and he stayed watching me as he moved up and then started to pull out of her. Only I wasn't watching him and he knew it. I was glued to where his now softening cock was slipping out of her wet and used pussy. As he slid all the way out of her was when he said to me that he thought he left a lot in her. And as he got up and off the bed - the implication was clear. Even as he walked towards the bathroom Sue had looked over at me and smiled at me having cum as she crooked her finger motioning me to come up on the bed.
He did cum a lot in her - from what had already run out of her to what remained inside - it seemed like a pint of his cum was still in her but I also knew some of it was her own wetness. As I leaned down to start licking she smiled and said "just gently okay honey?" and I knew that meant not to 'stimulate' or turn her on - just to clean her up a bit. I told her she was pretty messy and she smiled and said "you can lick around baby..... just not too much inside....". It seemed to keep on leaking out of her - I'd lick away and think it was done and then as I'd pull back, more apppeared to ooze out of her. She laughed as I had to keep leaning down to lick away another dribble and as she laughed one last time, Paul came out of the bathroom and asked what was going on. She said "you were right...." and she added "it won't stop" (running out of her) which made me feel I had to comment too. I said something like "yeah, I can tell you enjoyed yourself" or something about him enjoying which made him come up to the bed while I was still leaning down every few seconds and giving her a gentle lick - his cock wasn't fully soft but it wasn't hard either - he had washed up.
It was very erotic - I didn't/wouldn't touch him but she did motion him to come up to her and she sucked his cock as I gave her the last few licks. When I pulled away from her pussy finally - I did notice that there was a wet-spot - not terribly big - but clearly a wet-spot beneath her. I got off the bed and he got back into place next to her and he noticed it too and that's when he said "you'll have to get to her sooner next time Steve" as he laughed. It was kind of cool because I laughed back and said "or you can just cum less in her next time" which brought out a giggle from Sue and a "hmmmm - maybe" from Paul.
The 3 of us stayed together for a bit longer. My pants and underwear around my knees and the 2 of them naked on the bed. Sue said something to him about "he got me ready for later" and he looked over at me and said "thanks Steve" as if it were nothing. He was lying on his side and she was on her back and I was on my knees on the floor next to her on the bed. It was so erotic to be there and see them looking at each other and to see his hands freely caressing her breasts and reaching down to feel her body and then her pussy. They talked idly and I chimed in a little bit- but I could tell there was a horniness emerging already. Over the next 10 minutes or so the got more into each other and I became a bystander again. Her legs spread slightly as he kissed her - one hand slipped between them and then one finger I could see probing her pussy - gauging her readiness and it was around then that she turned her head to me and said "can we be alone now baby?". I nodded my head.
I didn't see Paul till the next morning. It wasn't quite the same as the night before but before he left he did shake my hand and tell me that he'd "really enjoyed being with Sue last night" and that he said thank-you again to me.
There was more that she and I talked about after he left as well as my overall thoughts that I'll try to share later or tomorrow, etc.
Sue had talked to Paul a bit more on Wednesday and she shared more of that with me before he came over on Saturday.
She told me she had shared some of my "issues" with Paul. At first I was upset and didn't really want him knowing everything, but as she talked I realized she was probably right, that if I could deal with getting comfortable with things with Paul that it would be better all around. I had told her that I still felt awkward around Paul and that I also still had this 'lack of masculinity' type of thing in my head. She laughed and was amused at how tortured I seem to feel at times when she really doesn't think that much about it or that it really isn't as significant as I make it out to be.
I know I had mentioned to her (and here) how self-conscious I felt at cleaning her up after they'd had sex together. And it was one of the things she'd mentioned to him. I was embarassed at first but as she talked - and then when he arrived and we sort of put things a bit more out in the open (as I'll try to share) - I think I may have finally started to get beyond it. It really does seem to be more in my head than anything else - and that it may just be that I need to relax about it and embrace it - as I've found with the other parts of what we're doing.
So when Paul got here on Saturday I was kind of ready. I mean I knew it was going to probably be a bit trying at times but I swore to myself that I would try if Paul (and Sue) were and that I'd be engaging and not pull back as I felt I had at times before.
Again it was a bit surreal when he arrived - after I answered the door and shook his hand the two of them embraced and kissed before we all walked into the living room. We talked about a lot of different stuff - the storm, power outages, all of that stuff - while as I'd mentioned, dinner was in the oven. It was during this time that she asked me if I wanted to do the same with her as the last time they were at our house.
With about 45 minutes before dinner was ready we opened a bottle of wine and as I said, we started to talk about lots of stuff and after she got my confirmation in the kitchen, when I returned to the living room, the conversation subject had shifted a bit. She started it out by saying "I told Paul the other day that you liked being with us... you know.... when we're in bed.... and that you liked helping me out at the end.... you know baby... you licking me down there". Just like that (well as close as I can recall) in front of him. Paul picked up almost immediately and said "it's really cool what you guys are doing" and then he added ".... Steve.... it's all just sex.... it's cool that you are trying to get into it like you are". Before I could really think about what to say he continued and said "I know it must not be easy for you". I have to say, hearing him say that and the way he said it, it really relaxed and disarmed me.
I took a breath and looked at Sue before I answered him and said "yeah, I'm trying not to feel weird about it, thanks...". He continued and said "she's amazing and I hope it's what you want too". Again - the freakin' guy just said it in such a way that it actually made me feel good about it. I don't recall everything I said because right around then the timer went off for dinner - but I know that I told him that he was really good about everything and making me feel more comfortable around them. He answered me candidly - he said that at first he felt very weird about it all especially with me knowing and then watching/being there - but he now sees it as part of what makes Sue happy and what gives her pleasure - he said "I know letting you be a part of it is good for her". I again was stumped for what to say and he continued. He said something like "it's taken me a while but I think I get it" and he looked at me and said "you really like that I make love to your wife". I looked at him and I said calmly "yeah.... I think that's a big part of it...". He smiled and said "Steve, I know you still feel anxious about all of this, but you don't need to".
Again I was about to say something but Sue chimed in and it may have partly been the wine talking but she said "Paul, he (referring to me) still gets up tight about you knowing that he (me again) licks me afterwards". I swallowed whatever words I was about to say and suddenly felt incredibly ******* and hoping dinner would be an excuse to leave or end the conversation. "Steve... man.... that's cool that you'll do that with her...." and he continued "I'd never really seen that before, but man, I'm used to it now and like I said, I think it's cool.... I mean if you don't mind, then I'm really okay with it now". The conversation wasn't really with me though, it was the 2 of them as she replied "oh... he still thinks it's not manly or whatever that he likes to do that...." and she was talking to him not me, to which he replied "well, I wouldn't be doing that but like I said, I think it's really cool that you're into that and that you want to" as he looked towards me. I started to say that I felt self-conscious about "doing that" in front of him to which he laughed and said the same as Sue has said - "oh man, I've known you're into that for a long time now" and he added "but I know it's easier on you if I'm not there so no worries man....". Now there was more to this conversation but I've kind of reduced it down.
I honestly went for broke with it and as I stood up to go tend to dinner with the timer buzzer going off but I said "yeah, it's taken me a while too but I guess I can say it that I like doing it". And without giving myself a chance to turn red or anything, I turned and left the room.
They took it easy with me over dinner - no overt or explicit talk about anything. Maybe a little handy/footy between the 2 of them. It wasn't until after dinner that things got more heated. When we were done I told the 2 of them that I'd tend to the dishes and they should go be comfortable. I heard footsteps and doors upstairs and when I came out of the kitchen, the 2 of them were sitting on the couch - her in just his button-up shirt he'd left - and him in just a t-shirt and shorts that he had either left with her or brought himself. I stood and stared for a moment as they were kissing and her (his?) shirt had ridden up clearly revealing she was naked beneath.
Honestly as I stood there I truly marveled at what I was seeing. As they kissed it seemed effortless and just so natural for his hands to go over her body and yes, as they kissed and I watched, without even thinking about it - she spread her legs and let him run his fingers all over and in her pussy as they kissed. She moaned as he penetrated her but never broke their kiss. He pulled his fingertips out of her before their kiss ended and both looked over at me afterwards. I told her/them that they looked hot together and she giggled that she hoped I liked watching and she pushed him back against the couch and she climbed over him and straddled his lap. The tail of his shirt dropped down or I'd have had a clear view of her as she moved into place. I knew from how she was positioned that her pussy was fully spread apart and from where I sat on the arm of the chair across from them, I could in fact see his fingers just below the shirt-tail playing with her pussy. A moment later she sat up on his lap and slid down his shorts and boxers to his knees and I could see she was stroking his cock as she kissed him yet again.
I was speechless but after their latest kiss ended she turned to me and asked "do you like seeing me getting him all hard and ready baby?". I knew from how she sounded that she'd had quite a bit of wine with dinner as she was pushing at me a bit harder. Paul added in that "she has amazing hands.... not to mention the rest of her...." and I literally watched as he grabbed at her breasts. She stroked him a bit more and when I heard him start to moan a bit I had a feeling things were about to move into high-gear.
I wasn't mistaken. Indeed - as they kissed yet again, this time from behind I could see her hand on his cock as she rubbed the head of it up and down and all around her pussy. I thought for a moment they were going to fuck right then and there - but instead - she got up off of him - leaving him lying there leaning back on the couch with his shorts/underware on the floor by his ankles and his hard cock just bobbing away there. She leaned over and kissed him and said out loud "go on up, I'll be up in a second" He got up - stepped out of his shorts/underwear and picked them up and walked half-naked past me up the stairs.
No sooner had he gone into our bedroom did Sue turn to me and give me a huge kiss and she giggled that she ".... feels so like a teenager sneaking up to have sex in my parents bedroom....". God the way she said it left me almost speechless - the excitement and arousal in her voice - I could only imagine how wet she was going to be for him.
Like last time - I know she likes to have some alone time with him. She's admitted that she likes being alone - knowing I'm not there watching as she lets herself go with him - but she made clear to me (and him) that she like me to be there once they are getting into it and he is already or about to fuck her. This time was no different - she lay back against the headboard with her legs spread wide and he tongue deep in her pussy as I got to the door. I don't know if he knew I was there but he told her that she tasted so good to him at one point.
Before she acknowledged I was there I did have a moment of self-reflection. I honestly could think back to the first few times of seeing her naked with Brad and the feeling of knowing she was giving herself so intimately to him. Seeing her naked and more so - seeing her body ready and waiting for him - it was so much of the same feelings seeing her so wanton for him as he pulled his face away from her pussy and began to stroke his cock to put it in her. Even seeing him naked - it just feels good and right now - like I said - watching them - at that moment I loved the thought that he would be fucking her in a minute. It really was beautiful seeing him rub his cockhead up and down her pussy and watching her labia separate and the head of his cock start to spread her wetness around.
Just before he pushed into her they both took attention to me and it was Paul who said "you can come closer if you want" - he didn't miss a beat and in fact by the time I moved to kneeling next to the bed, he was already in her and I could hear her moaning. I don't know if he said it to me but he was louder and he kept saying "that's sooooo good" every few seconds as he slowly pushed his way into her - each time he'd pull back a bit and then go in more he'd say it. She'd moan back at him and it was just so erotic to see and be up so close to.
I still know that he likes me to stay our of his direct sight when i'm there - despite how he seems to be changing a bit - I still stay out of his sight but I also know that Sue likes to watch me or see me when she opens her eyes so I do tend to stay kneeling upright and make eye contact with her at times. She always glances down and smiles when she sees me stroking my cock - she even said something yesterday about it - that it makes her feel good to see me.
They fucked and fucked for a while. Missionary first - and then she turned around and got on her knees and that was the first time Paul actually talked directly to me. He turned his head to me and said "I love it when she's this wet like this" and as I watched - he took his hands and spread her pussy open revealing everything there was - he held her open with one hand and then he smiled as he turned away from me and I know he deliberately kept himself in such a position that I could see everything. Her pussy still looks so tight from how he had to rub his cock all around her and then I could hear her moaning softly as he pushed into her. She let out a deeper moan and I could see he'd finally gotten his cock into her. I know he saw me jerking off but he didn't say anything about it.
He fucked her till she came at least two if not three times. It was obvious each time because she would moan and start to slam herself back against his cock until she'd cum and then she'd stop and shudder with him buried in her and when she did finally lean forward and he pulled back, even I could see his cock was wetter than before. After her first cum - he reached around with one hand and played with her breasts and with the other he managed to reach and rub her clit. She moaned so loudly after that it was so erotic. I honestly didn't even feel like she was my wife at that point - all I could focus on was her wet pussy taking his cock over and over.
It was after her 3rd orgasm that she collapsed forward from him and his cock came sliding wetly out of her. She rolled over onto her back and as she spread her legs again for him she glanced at me and then looked up at him and she said "put it back in me". He smiled - not at me but in general as she pulled her legs back and apart for him and he just moaned softly as he pushed into her once again.
I'd like to say they talked to me or teased me - they did a little bit - she turned to me and smiled as she told him he "felt sooooo gooood" and he did the same when he said out loud "wow.... you're so wet and open....." - but as they got into it more and more - I was forgotten as should be. I was really into it now and I had my pants down and was openly stroking my cock. She said she saw me through her slit-eyes as he fucked her but he never said a word. I lost track of how many times she came this time - instead I was more focused on him. I didn't say anything but I was actually really into watching him fuck her from up close this time. Seeing his curlies mash into her bare mound and seeing how reddened and swollen she was getting the more he went at her - it really got me going. I could hear the squelchy/slurpy sound of her pussy and I was close enough to even smell her as she got really wet and going.
I suppose it's one of the proof's of truly being beta/cuck - I could tell when he was about to cum in her. Just how his thrusts into her changed as well as how she sounded (she says she can feel his cock grow really thicker just before he cums - and that's the sound of it). Longer and slower became faster, deeper and more urgent. Until I saw him really plunge into her erratically one or two times and then I watch him just push into her deep while he stayed in her he kept thrusting until I heard him groan loudly folllowed by a squeal from her - which was immmediately folllowed by a groan from me as I let go all over my hand, leg and the floor. I grunted out "uhhhh... uhhhhh... uhhhhh...." and then "ahhhhh....". I don't think either of them heard me over their own sounds.
He stayed deep in her for several thrusts and then towards the end - he pulled out a bit and then back in - each time now showing me and spreading their mixed wetness all over the place. Even after I'd stopped spurting I kept stroking I was just sooo horny at that moment. The two of them lay still - she wrapped her arms and legs around him and he'd sort of slouched/relaxed against her but was still buried in her. When they caught their breath he pushed up on his forearms and pulled back slightly and then gave her a few short thrusts which made her moan again.
That was when he looked over to me and he stayed watching me as he moved up and then started to pull out of her. Only I wasn't watching him and he knew it. I was glued to where his now softening cock was slipping out of her wet and used pussy. As he slid all the way out of her was when he said to me that he thought he left a lot in her. And as he got up and off the bed - the implication was clear. Even as he walked towards the bathroom Sue had looked over at me and smiled at me having cum as she crooked her finger motioning me to come up on the bed.
He did cum a lot in her - from what had already run out of her to what remained inside - it seemed like a pint of his cum was still in her but I also knew some of it was her own wetness. As I leaned down to start licking she smiled and said "just gently okay honey?" and I knew that meant not to 'stimulate' or turn her on - just to clean her up a bit. I told her she was pretty messy and she smiled and said "you can lick around baby..... just not too much inside....". It seemed to keep on leaking out of her - I'd lick away and think it was done and then as I'd pull back, more apppeared to ooze out of her. She laughed as I had to keep leaning down to lick away another dribble and as she laughed one last time, Paul came out of the bathroom and asked what was going on. She said "you were right...." and she added "it won't stop" (running out of her) which made me feel I had to comment too. I said something like "yeah, I can tell you enjoyed yourself" or something about him enjoying which made him come up to the bed while I was still leaning down every few seconds and giving her a gentle lick - his cock wasn't fully soft but it wasn't hard either - he had washed up.
It was very erotic - I didn't/wouldn't touch him but she did motion him to come up to her and she sucked his cock as I gave her the last few licks. When I pulled away from her pussy finally - I did notice that there was a wet-spot - not terribly big - but clearly a wet-spot beneath her. I got off the bed and he got back into place next to her and he noticed it too and that's when he said "you'll have to get to her sooner next time Steve" as he laughed. It was kind of cool because I laughed back and said "or you can just cum less in her next time" which brought out a giggle from Sue and a "hmmmm - maybe" from Paul.
The 3 of us stayed together for a bit longer. My pants and underwear around my knees and the 2 of them naked on the bed. Sue said something to him about "he got me ready for later" and he looked over at me and said "thanks Steve" as if it were nothing. He was lying on his side and she was on her back and I was on my knees on the floor next to her on the bed. It was so erotic to be there and see them looking at each other and to see his hands freely caressing her breasts and reaching down to feel her body and then her pussy. They talked idly and I chimed in a little bit- but I could tell there was a horniness emerging already. Over the next 10 minutes or so the got more into each other and I became a bystander again. Her legs spread slightly as he kissed her - one hand slipped between them and then one finger I could see probing her pussy - gauging her readiness and it was around then that she turned her head to me and said "can we be alone now baby?". I nodded my head.
I didn't see Paul till the next morning. It wasn't quite the same as the night before but before he left he did shake my hand and tell me that he'd "really enjoyed being with Sue last night" and that he said thank-you again to me.
There was more that she and I talked about after he left as well as my overall thoughts that I'll try to share later or tomorrow, etc.
Thank you Steve for the great update!
All of the aspects you covered so well. The physical, social, and emotional. And the interactions between the three of you.
I am amazed at Sue and Paul's stamina. God bless them. Do you think your involvement spurs them on a little?
Looking forward to your next part. Also to any changes in the dynamics of the relationships.
Thank you again
Digger
All of the aspects you covered so well. The physical, social, and emotional. And the interactions between the three of you.
I am amazed at Sue and Paul's stamina. God bless them. Do you think your involvement spurs them on a little?
Looking forward to your next part. Also to any changes in the dynamics of the relationships.
Thank you again
Digger
Digger - I intentionally waited on sharing my thoughts and feelings of the past few days as I am still really trying to figure it all out myself.
What I can say is that however it's happened, I truly enjoy Paul being the one with Sue now. I've seen how he makes sure she has what she needs before he fulfills his own needs with her - she's really beautiful when she lets herself go and I can really see her as she cums hard.
I told Sue on Friday and again on Saturday that I wanted to really try to be truly more beta - I knew from what she'd told me that it meant being receptive to Paul and trying to truly be more comfortable with not just him, but with what she obviously wants too. She told me on Sunday that she loved how I was with Paul and that I was making it easier for her with him. I asked her what she meant and she said that seeing me masturbate while she's with him and all that I've said that I want to experience has made it easier to let herself feel more with Paul the way she wanted. She said it made it easier for her to think about sex less with me, she also said that she is accepting me also more as beta and in that way she also feels a change that she's wanted. You talk about stamina Digger and I too am envious of him being quite a bit younger than me and able to not just fuck her - but cum several times a night in her. I know that she has always enjoyed that and I know that when I first met her that she was enjoying sex with several guys all of whom went bare in her - so a part of me, fetishly thinking, is thinking that it's Paul's ability in this area that is also what keeps her really wanting this with him. I mentioned to her again yesterday about her comment about her parents bedroom/bed and she giggled that once she started fucking boys in high-school that it always turned her on to do it in her parents bed - and I could tell from what I knew she'd told me that she did it a lot.
So it was with all of this that when the time came - even after I'd cum all over (and cleaned a lot of it up myself) - that when she was laying there with her legs spread and she was still open, not gaping, but open from him being in her - that I really pushed myself that regardless of whether he was or wasn't there, I was going to clean her up. I knew to expect that and I really wanted to fulfill it for her too. I will share that as he pulled out of her I had a fleeting thought of even cleaning him off too - but what I really wanted was her pussy. After she'd let me touch and feel her on Wednesday, I so wanted to have more that regardless, I was going to clean her up.
I know I'm not gay or bi (sorry, no sexual arousal there - my fleeting desire to clean Paul off was more sexual erotic than homosexual) - but at the same time, there is just such a rush I get from going down on her after Paul's fucked her. From how soft and tender and so so warm her pussy lips feel, to the tart acrid taste, it's something that over the years I've come to enjoy - but now, again, letting myself enjoy the beta in me - now it feels even more intense knowing that he is enjoying her as he is. It is going to sound cuckish if not gay - but I'll say it anyway - knowing he'd just cum in her made it all the better. As hot as it is for me to re-live it as I try to share my thoughts - I just can't find words to say how it felt to touch her warm legs and hold her at that moment. Even though I'd just cum along with them - I swear my cock felt like it was rock hard as I looked and then eagerly - yes, eagerly leaned down to take a taste of her.
As I said - using the right words - the bottom of her vagina was still open a bit and that was where I aimed my tongue. I flicked at her lips to separate them a bit more and when she moaned slightly and told me it felt good I pulled back for a second and just had to look at how she looked and what he'd done to and in her. If there was ever a moment that brought me close to wanting to climb up on her and plunge into her - it was seeing her in all her glory - spread wide. Her vagina spread open as she breathed - and I swear she knew what I was doing at that moment because she sort of whispered to me "go on baby...." - or maybe that was in my head - honestly I don't know. But it was absolutely intoxicating for that longest moment seeing her body open up and then reveal just where Paul's cock had been.
I tried to obey her wishes but I admit that I got eager and began to really lick more deeply and even suck at her a little before she pushed my head back and said more loudly "that's enough.... you know.... just a little on the outside baby...." and then she said it "just enough to not make such a mess later on.... okay baby?" Wow - that was amazing to hear from her and I so responded to it. I think about it now as I did then and I almost immediately pulled back from her and went back to just gently licking her, but apparently my increased attention led to where I'd left off earlier.
What I can say is that however it's happened, I truly enjoy Paul being the one with Sue now. I've seen how he makes sure she has what she needs before he fulfills his own needs with her - she's really beautiful when she lets herself go and I can really see her as she cums hard.
I told Sue on Friday and again on Saturday that I wanted to really try to be truly more beta - I knew from what she'd told me that it meant being receptive to Paul and trying to truly be more comfortable with not just him, but with what she obviously wants too. She told me on Sunday that she loved how I was with Paul and that I was making it easier for her with him. I asked her what she meant and she said that seeing me masturbate while she's with him and all that I've said that I want to experience has made it easier to let herself feel more with Paul the way she wanted. She said it made it easier for her to think about sex less with me, she also said that she is accepting me also more as beta and in that way she also feels a change that she's wanted. You talk about stamina Digger and I too am envious of him being quite a bit younger than me and able to not just fuck her - but cum several times a night in her. I know that she has always enjoyed that and I know that when I first met her that she was enjoying sex with several guys all of whom went bare in her - so a part of me, fetishly thinking, is thinking that it's Paul's ability in this area that is also what keeps her really wanting this with him. I mentioned to her again yesterday about her comment about her parents bedroom/bed and she giggled that once she started fucking boys in high-school that it always turned her on to do it in her parents bed - and I could tell from what I knew she'd told me that she did it a lot.
So it was with all of this that when the time came - even after I'd cum all over (and cleaned a lot of it up myself) - that when she was laying there with her legs spread and she was still open, not gaping, but open from him being in her - that I really pushed myself that regardless of whether he was or wasn't there, I was going to clean her up. I knew to expect that and I really wanted to fulfill it for her too. I will share that as he pulled out of her I had a fleeting thought of even cleaning him off too - but what I really wanted was her pussy. After she'd let me touch and feel her on Wednesday, I so wanted to have more that regardless, I was going to clean her up.
I know I'm not gay or bi (sorry, no sexual arousal there - my fleeting desire to clean Paul off was more sexual erotic than homosexual) - but at the same time, there is just such a rush I get from going down on her after Paul's fucked her. From how soft and tender and so so warm her pussy lips feel, to the tart acrid taste, it's something that over the years I've come to enjoy - but now, again, letting myself enjoy the beta in me - now it feels even more intense knowing that he is enjoying her as he is. It is going to sound cuckish if not gay - but I'll say it anyway - knowing he'd just cum in her made it all the better. As hot as it is for me to re-live it as I try to share my thoughts - I just can't find words to say how it felt to touch her warm legs and hold her at that moment. Even though I'd just cum along with them - I swear my cock felt like it was rock hard as I looked and then eagerly - yes, eagerly leaned down to take a taste of her.
As I said - using the right words - the bottom of her vagina was still open a bit and that was where I aimed my tongue. I flicked at her lips to separate them a bit more and when she moaned slightly and told me it felt good I pulled back for a second and just had to look at how she looked and what he'd done to and in her. If there was ever a moment that brought me close to wanting to climb up on her and plunge into her - it was seeing her in all her glory - spread wide. Her vagina spread open as she breathed - and I swear she knew what I was doing at that moment because she sort of whispered to me "go on baby...." - or maybe that was in my head - honestly I don't know. But it was absolutely intoxicating for that longest moment seeing her body open up and then reveal just where Paul's cock had been.
I tried to obey her wishes but I admit that I got eager and began to really lick more deeply and even suck at her a little before she pushed my head back and said more loudly "that's enough.... you know.... just a little on the outside baby...." and then she said it "just enough to not make such a mess later on.... okay baby?" Wow - that was amazing to hear from her and I so responded to it. I think about it now as I did then and I almost immediately pulled back from her and went back to just gently licking her, but apparently my increased attention led to where I'd left off earlier.
Steve, You are a man with many gifts.
Your talent with communications is great!! Please look at your updates as an act of charity. I can't express, as clearly as you, how much it is appreciated.
This is early March and all 3 of you are still exploring depth of the new roles. A sports analogy. Sue, Paul and you are a team. And I'm rooting for you as well as I did the Eagles. To date you're all winners.
Steve, as to your fleeting thoughts of cleaning Paul. I think I understand or get it. After they had sex, Paul will be coated with Sue's juices and the cause of Sue's pleasure.I'm not gay or bi either. And nothing wrong with being gay or bi. I wouldn't want to cross that line (yet?) because that gives Sue and Paul a visual cue. And you can't unring that bell.But who knows the future.
Another nor'easter coming. Maybe Sue, Paul and you could have a "perfect storm " at your house. Have enough wine in?
Your talent with communications is great!! Please look at your updates as an act of charity. I can't express, as clearly as you, how much it is appreciated.
This is early March and all 3 of you are still exploring depth of the new roles. A sports analogy. Sue, Paul and you are a team. And I'm rooting for you as well as I did the Eagles. To date you're all winners.
Steve, as to your fleeting thoughts of cleaning Paul. I think I understand or get it. After they had sex, Paul will be coated with Sue's juices and the cause of Sue's pleasure.I'm not gay or bi either. And nothing wrong with being gay or bi. I wouldn't want to cross that line (yet?) because that gives Sue and Paul a visual cue. And you can't unring that bell.But who knows the future.
Another nor'easter coming. Maybe Sue, Paul and you could have a "perfect storm " at your house. Have enough wine in?
Well Steve, you are into your tenth week now and still going strong. It’s good to see you so positive and if you really were going to stay in this mode, your entry into it would be very much on target. It is clear (and rightly so) that Sue has taken the lead here with leading you deeper into the beta zone. She says it’s helping her with Paul but I don’t believe that. What it’s really helping with is for her to disconnect from you. A process that has been continuing now for several years but which Sue seems determined to get further than ever before with this year. Although she seems jokey about this process being forever, the danger is that in her eyes it is. Some of the situations she is engineering will make it very difficult for ever to see you as a full lover in the future. If you ever try to go back even a little, it’s going to take effort now on her part to make that switch. Not a problem of course if you never make it. Part of the reason you feel uneasy about it, and about Paul having a full share of your feelings, is that you are also aware of this slippery slope, but are covering it up with your angst and excitement.
As ever, Paul’s feelings in all this remain not relevant to you really. He remains the sexual animal, ready and willing to fuck Sue as hard or as long as she wants whenever she wants or they can get together. His new spoken words are so obviously planted by Sue, but their new presence is a part of Sue’s strategy to ramp up the beta. If this progresses into Paul’s issuing minor instructions in future, this will be where it stems from. Sue makes no comments about doing anything she doesn’t want to just to please Paul. So his feelings are not obviously being massaged by her, again showing she regards him only as a sexual partner. Contrast this with her continuing need to chip away at the links between your sexual feelings with Sue, in order to (as she says) enjoy it more with him. Beware here. There is not an automatic link between less feelings for you and better sex with Paul, as there is no stated corresponding increase in feelings with him. So why does she feel the need to kill you off so much, especially when it may be so difficult to reverse in future.
I can see no solution to this at present. Sue is determined to not only deny you but to rub it in as well. You are determined to last it out whatever the regime turns into, and Paul will keep going as long as he can with the best sexual thing that has ever happened to him. Short sighted of him in the very long term but he’s a golfer. One stroke at a time ...
As ever, Paul’s feelings in all this remain not relevant to you really. He remains the sexual animal, ready and willing to fuck Sue as hard or as long as she wants whenever she wants or they can get together. His new spoken words are so obviously planted by Sue, but their new presence is a part of Sue’s strategy to ramp up the beta. If this progresses into Paul’s issuing minor instructions in future, this will be where it stems from. Sue makes no comments about doing anything she doesn’t want to just to please Paul. So his feelings are not obviously being massaged by her, again showing she regards him only as a sexual partner. Contrast this with her continuing need to chip away at the links between your sexual feelings with Sue, in order to (as she says) enjoy it more with him. Beware here. There is not an automatic link between less feelings for you and better sex with Paul, as there is no stated corresponding increase in feelings with him. So why does she feel the need to kill you off so much, especially when it may be so difficult to reverse in future.
I can see no solution to this at present. Sue is determined to not only deny you but to rub it in as well. You are determined to last it out whatever the regime turns into, and Paul will keep going as long as he can with the best sexual thing that has ever happened to him. Short sighted of him in the very long term but he’s a golfer. One stroke at a time ...
Peak - yes, I understand all you've said. The only thing I can say right now is that my beta-feelings haven't diminished at all - if anything they've increased a bit. A part of me is a bit scared as you've stated, a lot is at stake and a lot of things are changing even as we speak. But to be honest, this isn't at all how I've felt in the past - I look back and read and think about how I felt last year or earlier and all I can say is I think I'm a different person.
As you said, at 10 weeks now, I know last year I was crawling out of my skin I was so upset and anxious. But not this year. Maybe she prepped me enough, maybe she's showing and giving me the attention I needed that I didn't get from her last year. Or maybe it's me - perhaps another year of age and a settling down of my ardor/libido is behind it - I don't know really. All I know is that I feel very content and calm and yes, satisfied. I do feel angst and anxiety when I truly think about missing out on intercourse - from my own perspective. But I strangely don't feel the same thinking about her directing that towards Paul. To be honest, at this point I don't want to fuck her. It sounds strange to say that but it is true - right now, despite some lingering desires, honestly I don't feel the urgency or 'need' to have intercourse with her. Even stranger to say it - I'm enjoying the state we're in now where I know I don't have that option - but the reality is that I don't have the desire to do so.
I know, I know, once she dissociates sex from me, it may not be easy to put back together. The beta-cuck in me is ruling out on this and I accept the risk. A part of me is beginning to wonder/consider if I may not ever relinquish my beta-desires. Her short thoughts about this being longer-term or more are ever present in my own mind - and it's hard to say it and believe it - but it is how I feel. Right now, the thought doesn't scare me as much as it has in the past. Perhaps because I now see that our relationship isn't just based on sex. It's been 2 years or more that she's begun to decrease our intimacy - and while it scared me at first - when I look at how we are together outside the bedroom - all I can say is that I/we seem incredibly happy.
More later.
I'll close here by saying she's annoyed with the weather as she has stayed home because of the impending snow - and that also means she will not be seeing him this afternoon. I'm sure she'll be playing with herself alongside me later tonight!
As you said, at 10 weeks now, I know last year I was crawling out of my skin I was so upset and anxious. But not this year. Maybe she prepped me enough, maybe she's showing and giving me the attention I needed that I didn't get from her last year. Or maybe it's me - perhaps another year of age and a settling down of my ardor/libido is behind it - I don't know really. All I know is that I feel very content and calm and yes, satisfied. I do feel angst and anxiety when I truly think about missing out on intercourse - from my own perspective. But I strangely don't feel the same thinking about her directing that towards Paul. To be honest, at this point I don't want to fuck her. It sounds strange to say that but it is true - right now, despite some lingering desires, honestly I don't feel the urgency or 'need' to have intercourse with her. Even stranger to say it - I'm enjoying the state we're in now where I know I don't have that option - but the reality is that I don't have the desire to do so.
I know, I know, once she dissociates sex from me, it may not be easy to put back together. The beta-cuck in me is ruling out on this and I accept the risk. A part of me is beginning to wonder/consider if I may not ever relinquish my beta-desires. Her short thoughts about this being longer-term or more are ever present in my own mind - and it's hard to say it and believe it - but it is how I feel. Right now, the thought doesn't scare me as much as it has in the past. Perhaps because I now see that our relationship isn't just based on sex. It's been 2 years or more that she's begun to decrease our intimacy - and while it scared me at first - when I look at how we are together outside the bedroom - all I can say is that I/we seem incredibly happy.
More later.
I'll close here by saying she's annoyed with the weather as she has stayed home because of the impending snow - and that also means she will not be seeing him this afternoon. I'm sure she'll be playing with herself alongside me later tonight!
- Status
