She Is His
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Steve, something has clearly clicked over in your head over the last month. The last time you described any intimate contact between yourself and Sue that resulted in an orgasm for you was April 25th. The last time you intimated you came in her presence was May 2nd but you gave no details. Both were supervised masturbations. A few weeks ago you built up a huge expectation for the weekend Sue didn't see Paul and the romantic evening you planned. You did well giving Sue some orgasms that weekend but never mentioned what she gave you. Last week and weekend drifted by with no further news of your satisfaction with her.
I hope that you get some connection tonight. I hope you can tell us about it after. It's beginning to look like your own orgasm needs in relation to Sue have dropped so low on your scale that you no longer think of them as important or significant. That is worrying unless you are secretly planning to stay in this state for years to come (or not come as the case may be). Be that as it may, your Dom is NOT planning on that happening so the further you collapse into subspace (don't say again you are enjoying right now), the further you have to claw back to some point at least. What is going on?
I hope that you get some connection tonight. I hope you can tell us about it after. It's beginning to look like your own orgasm needs in relation to Sue have dropped so low on your scale that you no longer think of them as important or significant. That is worrying unless you are secretly planning to stay in this state for years to come (or not come as the case may be). Be that as it may, your Dom is NOT planning on that happening so the further you collapse into subspace (don't say again you are enjoying right now), the further you have to claw back to some point at least. What is going on?
Sue probably pulled a Dom HW thing on him, like shaved and chastised him. He did admit to her that he’s masturbating constantly . Now he’s having a mind blown sub beta cuckold experience that he can’t put into words.
Just kidding with you Steve, I know you said niether of you are into that. But seems like something happened that you can’t put to words.
Just kidding with you Steve, I know you said niether of you are into that. But seems like something happened that you can’t put to words.
Hey all - finally some time. Between work and helping move our daughter into an apartment for the summer that she can stay in for the next year, we've been busy.
What I can share is that some of the hubbub and changes in schedules - again she's seeing him tomorrow night and not over the long weekend - have been building up to her asking me about going away with him on a golf-trip (similar to the past but just him and his golf buddies not part of some bigger thing) the weekend after Fathers day - so the weekend of June 23rd. She'd mentioned it earlier in the week and then told me more last night. It will be 3 nights and 4 days but part of the first and last are travel. I asked her where she'd be going and this time she said they had already rented a house at Hilton Head SC which is where we'd gone for vacation in the past and she wasn't sure how I'd feel about that. I told her the honest truth - that it turned me on but like other times, it scares me a bit that she'll be with him so much for a longer period of time. She smiled and said that I should know I have nothing to worry about and that this is something she's wanted to experience too - of ".... being away with my boyfriend...." which I knew meant she wanted to experience that as a part of feeling as she does where she feels she can "... be his all weekend...". She did tease me a bit when she said that she'd be sure to take care of me nicely before she leaves - if it's okay with me. I did notice how she dangled the carrot of "taking care of me nicely" before she added "if it's okay that I go away with him" so I do notice when she manipulates me.
My cock didn't get soft through parts of this when we went back over it last night as I masturbated with her. When I had already told her that she could go (several times) she teased me at how much they were going to fuck this time. I asked her what the difference between this time and others was and she smiled and essentially said that it's because she doesn't fuck me. I can't recall the exact words she used though but her honesty and openness was both calming and arousing and she knew it.
It's still a crazy day at work - there's a lot of political stuff going on above us so the brunt of it shows up as requests to me for reports on this or analysis of that. Fun fun, not.
What I can share is that some of the hubbub and changes in schedules - again she's seeing him tomorrow night and not over the long weekend - have been building up to her asking me about going away with him on a golf-trip (similar to the past but just him and his golf buddies not part of some bigger thing) the weekend after Fathers day - so the weekend of June 23rd. She'd mentioned it earlier in the week and then told me more last night. It will be 3 nights and 4 days but part of the first and last are travel. I asked her where she'd be going and this time she said they had already rented a house at Hilton Head SC which is where we'd gone for vacation in the past and she wasn't sure how I'd feel about that. I told her the honest truth - that it turned me on but like other times, it scares me a bit that she'll be with him so much for a longer period of time. She smiled and said that I should know I have nothing to worry about and that this is something she's wanted to experience too - of ".... being away with my boyfriend...." which I knew meant she wanted to experience that as a part of feeling as she does where she feels she can "... be his all weekend...". She did tease me a bit when she said that she'd be sure to take care of me nicely before she leaves - if it's okay with me. I did notice how she dangled the carrot of "taking care of me nicely" before she added "if it's okay that I go away with him" so I do notice when she manipulates me.
My cock didn't get soft through parts of this when we went back over it last night as I masturbated with her. When I had already told her that she could go (several times) she teased me at how much they were going to fuck this time. I asked her what the difference between this time and others was and she smiled and essentially said that it's because she doesn't fuck me. I can't recall the exact words she used though but her honesty and openness was both calming and arousing and she knew it.
It's still a crazy day at work - there's a lot of political stuff going on above us so the brunt of it shows up as requests to me for reports on this or analysis of that. Fun fun, not.
Steve,
I think you need to renegotiate the timing of you getting the 'making it worth your while' to one week AFTER Sue gets back. Up the point she goes, all her mental and sexual energies will be rightly focused on the trip. It may well end up as the culmination of her cleave time with you and her sexual bonding with Paul. She will then need a week to wind down from the bliss effect it will create.
So two points.
One, Sue will really not want to divert any meaningful sexual energy to you before the trip. She will be well capable of doing something memorable but her sexual heart won't be in it and ultimately you'll know that.
Two, you will really need something to reconnect with Sue after the trip. If it really does represent the high, then the after slope starts to at least partially start to belong to you again. Certainly at first these things may be infrequent for you but they MUST be meaningful and real. If it is to happen at all without damage all round, the drug that is Paul in her system, and complete denial in yours has to reduced slowly so you both don't suffer withdrawal symptoms (pun not intended). This iconic moment almost half way through the year is the perfect time to start the process.
I think you need to renegotiate the timing of you getting the 'making it worth your while' to one week AFTER Sue gets back. Up the point she goes, all her mental and sexual energies will be rightly focused on the trip. It may well end up as the culmination of her cleave time with you and her sexual bonding with Paul. She will then need a week to wind down from the bliss effect it will create.
So two points.
One, Sue will really not want to divert any meaningful sexual energy to you before the trip. She will be well capable of doing something memorable but her sexual heart won't be in it and ultimately you'll know that.
Two, you will really need something to reconnect with Sue after the trip. If it really does represent the high, then the after slope starts to at least partially start to belong to you again. Certainly at first these things may be infrequent for you but they MUST be meaningful and real. If it is to happen at all without damage all round, the drug that is Paul in her system, and complete denial in yours has to reduced slowly so you both don't suffer withdrawal symptoms (pun not intended). This iconic moment almost half way through the year is the perfect time to start the process.
Well Steve, a great narrative with over 90,000 views can't languish deep on page 2 like this. It needs just a bit of TLC from us all.
That does include you though. In over a month now you have described little of the intimate contact you have had with Sue leaving us all to wonder whether that is because it has been lacking or perhaps because you have grown bored by repeating yourself. Even Sue, who is seems is trying to build herself up to some nirvana state with Paul is taking a strange route to it with little sustained contact with him. It's a very strange build up to her planned time away with him. They may need a day just to get fully reacquainted at this rate! What on earth is really going on?
That does include you though. In over a month now you have described little of the intimate contact you have had with Sue leaving us all to wonder whether that is because it has been lacking or perhaps because you have grown bored by repeating yourself. Even Sue, who is seems is trying to build herself up to some nirvana state with Paul is taking a strange route to it with little sustained contact with him. It's a very strange build up to her planned time away with him. They may need a day just to get fully reacquainted at this rate! What on earth is really going on?
Peak is right; the thread does need a bit of TLC to keep it on page 1. Steve’s threads have always had a large number of views and that is likely not to change. I personally had a belief that with the direction this was going that it would have been best to eventually transition to a blog or to at least capture the core of everything in a story line as ‘Curt Bruch’ has done with Steve’s approval.
As described by Steve, it would seem that with helping their daughter move into an apartment for the upcoming year, and with business politics, he seems to be focused on life in general. In either case, it sounds as if there continues to be an extended amount of activity between Sue and Paul in which we are not able to read as I am sure that they may have a level of privacy that is not always shared on this forum. It is good read that Sue and Paul have planned another trip together for June of this year with Paul’s golf buddies in Hilton Head, SC. I am actually surprised that we have not heard about the two of them desiring to travel more often together. I have used the term ‘poly’ in the past, although while others did not agree with me, it does seem that it better describes what Sue seeks to have with Paul and Steve respectively. Sue loves her husband Steve and continues to seek to also have experiences with Paul that are more truly connected beyond that of the occasional physical sexual experiences, she openly seeks to experience ".... being away with my boyfriend....", the belonging to a boyfriend, the full experience. Her approach at times seems to be a bit manipulative and it is good to Steve can now recognize it although what Steve made not have recognized is that this is much more than simply about sex.
Speaking of the sexual aspect, it is good that Sue playfully teases Steve about how much they (she and Paul) were going to fuck on this next planned trip. As Steve has begun to realize through Sue’s honesty and openness, while it may be both calming and arousing, Sue knows that she can now be more direct with her feelings, her desires, and more. Sue and Steve both seem to now realize that there is a clear difference in some activities now that Sue is only having intercourse with Paul.
Based on my own prior experience and that of others that I know ‘IRL’ that have a similar lifestyle; when it gets to this stage it is very common that less and less becomes shared openly with others outside of the relationship when each within the relationship become much more confident and comfortable with their respective roles. So Steve posting less is not truly a surprise. It will be good to see were this all goes in the coming year.
As described by Steve, it would seem that with helping their daughter move into an apartment for the upcoming year, and with business politics, he seems to be focused on life in general. In either case, it sounds as if there continues to be an extended amount of activity between Sue and Paul in which we are not able to read as I am sure that they may have a level of privacy that is not always shared on this forum. It is good read that Sue and Paul have planned another trip together for June of this year with Paul’s golf buddies in Hilton Head, SC. I am actually surprised that we have not heard about the two of them desiring to travel more often together. I have used the term ‘poly’ in the past, although while others did not agree with me, it does seem that it better describes what Sue seeks to have with Paul and Steve respectively. Sue loves her husband Steve and continues to seek to also have experiences with Paul that are more truly connected beyond that of the occasional physical sexual experiences, she openly seeks to experience ".... being away with my boyfriend....", the belonging to a boyfriend, the full experience. Her approach at times seems to be a bit manipulative and it is good to Steve can now recognize it although what Steve made not have recognized is that this is much more than simply about sex.
Speaking of the sexual aspect, it is good that Sue playfully teases Steve about how much they (she and Paul) were going to fuck on this next planned trip. As Steve has begun to realize through Sue’s honesty and openness, while it may be both calming and arousing, Sue knows that she can now be more direct with her feelings, her desires, and more. Sue and Steve both seem to now realize that there is a clear difference in some activities now that Sue is only having intercourse with Paul.
Based on my own prior experience and that of others that I know ‘IRL’ that have a similar lifestyle; when it gets to this stage it is very common that less and less becomes shared openly with others outside of the relationship when each within the relationship become much more confident and comfortable with their respective roles. So Steve posting less is not truly a surprise. It will be good to see were this all goes in the coming year.
Hey all - huge news here - well huge for me.
First - yes, sorry - been extremely busy with work and other stuff that literally there's been no time to get online and honestly, Sue understood and has given me a lot of space and - well - let me just say that she's amazing. Out of nowhere on Sunday evening she surprised me when just as we were getting ready for bed, she came over and knelt next to me as I stood there and she said "do you want to stand or be on the bed?" as she slid off my pants and boxers. I was really surprised as I'll share some of what we'd talked about later on - but she looked up at me and said "I want to do this for you" and she told me she knew it's been crazy busy at work and that "I think you need this". I stepped out of my pants and lay back on the bed and I said something like "if you're serious...." and I lay back for her.
Now she's given me good blow-jobs before - but this time it seemed different - she was doing it truly for me. She started out slowly and as she got me started (did NOT take long!!!) she pulled her mouth off and looked up and asked me "should I do more? you know....." It took me a moment to understand what she was asking as it's been a long time - but when I realized I said a hesitating "uh, yeah... okay....". She smiled what I can only say was a happy-smile as she leaned over and opened her night-stand and got out some lubricant. As she did so I remembered back to the last time she'd done this and I was actually happy I hadn't jerked off earlier in the day!
I also hadn't remembered how it felt to have her really focus on me - it'd been a long time. But feeling her mouth and hands and then, my god, her fingers - it was intense. She pulled her mouth off my engorged cock several times to tease me but to also edge me - my god she was good at it - it'd been soooo long. It felt amazing to feel so hard in her mouth and hands. She teased me about "it's been a while" and all of that but honestly, once she slid one and then 2 fingers into me - my brain turned to jelly.... My god - it felt like I'd gone to heaven when she realized I was as close to the edge as I could be (she later told me that my cock had been leaking pre-cum for so long as she sucked me that she didn't want to let me cum as she teased how it tasted so good). All I can say is that when she finally brought me off it felt like my cock was gushing lava. She gagged a few times as I must have felt 6 or 7 huge spurts. And as I came down she just gently sucked my cock as it softened. I was barely conscious but I knew what she would do next and I wasn't disappointed. She let me catch my breath for what felt like ages - and then I felt her lips on mine and as her tongue probed into my mouth I could taste my cum. A moment later she pulled her tongue back and we shared the most erotic kiss I've had in months if not longer. The amount and tart taste of cum only made it more intense. But at the end I knew she would give it all to me. I lay there totally spent.
But the huge news isn't from then. It's from last night. And rather than run out of time while I share the details - the big news is that she told me last night that " ... I want you back in me again baby....." of course she clarified it by telling me that I'm probably not going to get to cum though, that she's not ready for that yet - and that I will "definitely need to use a condom" - and that she's not ready for that yet. But she did say that it'll have been well over 5 months and that she doesn't want to totally lose contact with me sexually. She also said she wants me to "remember how she feels" and that we'll talk more after that.
I guess I should add that she said it'll be a bit of a Fathers Day present to me and that she would like it before she goes away with Paul the next weekend.
As I said, both this past weekends events as well as this revelation have surprised me given what we'd been talking about prior to that - which was namely about how I"m feeling and how being abstinent with her is making me feel.
More later
First - yes, sorry - been extremely busy with work and other stuff that literally there's been no time to get online and honestly, Sue understood and has given me a lot of space and - well - let me just say that she's amazing. Out of nowhere on Sunday evening she surprised me when just as we were getting ready for bed, she came over and knelt next to me as I stood there and she said "do you want to stand or be on the bed?" as she slid off my pants and boxers. I was really surprised as I'll share some of what we'd talked about later on - but she looked up at me and said "I want to do this for you" and she told me she knew it's been crazy busy at work and that "I think you need this". I stepped out of my pants and lay back on the bed and I said something like "if you're serious...." and I lay back for her.
Now she's given me good blow-jobs before - but this time it seemed different - she was doing it truly for me. She started out slowly and as she got me started (did NOT take long!!!) she pulled her mouth off and looked up and asked me "should I do more? you know....." It took me a moment to understand what she was asking as it's been a long time - but when I realized I said a hesitating "uh, yeah... okay....". She smiled what I can only say was a happy-smile as she leaned over and opened her night-stand and got out some lubricant. As she did so I remembered back to the last time she'd done this and I was actually happy I hadn't jerked off earlier in the day!
I also hadn't remembered how it felt to have her really focus on me - it'd been a long time. But feeling her mouth and hands and then, my god, her fingers - it was intense. She pulled her mouth off my engorged cock several times to tease me but to also edge me - my god she was good at it - it'd been soooo long. It felt amazing to feel so hard in her mouth and hands. She teased me about "it's been a while" and all of that but honestly, once she slid one and then 2 fingers into me - my brain turned to jelly.... My god - it felt like I'd gone to heaven when she realized I was as close to the edge as I could be (she later told me that my cock had been leaking pre-cum for so long as she sucked me that she didn't want to let me cum as she teased how it tasted so good). All I can say is that when she finally brought me off it felt like my cock was gushing lava. She gagged a few times as I must have felt 6 or 7 huge spurts. And as I came down she just gently sucked my cock as it softened. I was barely conscious but I knew what she would do next and I wasn't disappointed. She let me catch my breath for what felt like ages - and then I felt her lips on mine and as her tongue probed into my mouth I could taste my cum. A moment later she pulled her tongue back and we shared the most erotic kiss I've had in months if not longer. The amount and tart taste of cum only made it more intense. But at the end I knew she would give it all to me. I lay there totally spent.
But the huge news isn't from then. It's from last night. And rather than run out of time while I share the details - the big news is that she told me last night that " ... I want you back in me again baby....." of course she clarified it by telling me that I'm probably not going to get to cum though, that she's not ready for that yet - and that I will "definitely need to use a condom" - and that she's not ready for that yet. But she did say that it'll have been well over 5 months and that she doesn't want to totally lose contact with me sexually. She also said she wants me to "remember how she feels" and that we'll talk more after that.
I guess I should add that she said it'll be a bit of a Fathers Day present to me and that she would like it before she goes away with Paul the next weekend.
As I said, both this past weekends events as well as this revelation have surprised me given what we'd been talking about prior to that - which was namely about how I"m feeling and how being abstinent with her is making me feel.
More later
What's this a bit of a reprieve for me work-wise today that I have more time to add to the above...
So we talked a little more last night and she asked me what I thought of her idea and I told her I wanted to ask her something and I wanted her honest answer - is that what she wanted for herself or did she feel she needed to do it for me? I say that because as I said, when we'd talked earlier and such, I'd told her how I was getting more acclimated to not having her sexually. I actually still wonder today if she's doing this somehow because maybe I am reaching the point of being more accepting and used to it. But she said that it was the opposite - that she's been feeling that she wants to feel me again inside her - "just to... you know... feel you again....". I told her that I loved the idea and even told her that I thought she was, teasingly, cruel letting me feel her for just a few moments - to which she giggled and replied that "... you can jerk-off right away if you need to..." and she laughed again. But then she got a bit more serious and said that she thought it would be a good thing for both of us and she even admitted that "it's going to be hard to have you pull out of me" but that she also said it's something she feels she needs to feel now.
We'd been talking as I'd said on and off this past week a bit more and she'd been telling me how she really felt she was getting to where and what she'd wanted to feel and do. And when I pushed her she came out and told me that she truly has "forgotten" how I felt when I was in her and we were intimate together. She said that I shouldn't necessarily think of it as going back to having sex with her, and then she added "not yet at least". And she immediately added "and if we do, I still want you to use a condom baby...." and she said more softly (hard to hear her) something about "not ready for that either....". I hugged and kissed her and told her that I would do whatever she felt she was ready for - and then I added as a little dig "this is going to be some big tease then....". She straightened up and told me quite the opposite - and she was pretty blunt for a bit - she told me that it's a starting point for us to reconnect fully eventually. I thought about pushing it more, but it wasn't the time or place for it.
So that's it - that's the big news. I guess maybe not so big in the end but it seemed like a big revelation to me at the time.
So we talked a little more last night and she asked me what I thought of her idea and I told her I wanted to ask her something and I wanted her honest answer - is that what she wanted for herself or did she feel she needed to do it for me? I say that because as I said, when we'd talked earlier and such, I'd told her how I was getting more acclimated to not having her sexually. I actually still wonder today if she's doing this somehow because maybe I am reaching the point of being more accepting and used to it. But she said that it was the opposite - that she's been feeling that she wants to feel me again inside her - "just to... you know... feel you again....". I told her that I loved the idea and even told her that I thought she was, teasingly, cruel letting me feel her for just a few moments - to which she giggled and replied that "... you can jerk-off right away if you need to..." and she laughed again. But then she got a bit more serious and said that she thought it would be a good thing for both of us and she even admitted that "it's going to be hard to have you pull out of me" but that she also said it's something she feels she needs to feel now.
We'd been talking as I'd said on and off this past week a bit more and she'd been telling me how she really felt she was getting to where and what she'd wanted to feel and do. And when I pushed her she came out and told me that she truly has "forgotten" how I felt when I was in her and we were intimate together. She said that I shouldn't necessarily think of it as going back to having sex with her, and then she added "not yet at least". And she immediately added "and if we do, I still want you to use a condom baby...." and she said more softly (hard to hear her) something about "not ready for that either....". I hugged and kissed her and told her that I would do whatever she felt she was ready for - and then I added as a little dig "this is going to be some big tease then....". She straightened up and told me quite the opposite - and she was pretty blunt for a bit - she told me that it's a starting point for us to reconnect fully eventually. I thought about pushing it more, but it wasn't the time or place for it.
So that's it - that's the big news. I guess maybe not so big in the end but it seemed like a big revelation to me at the time.
Steve,
I think it is great news that Sue is feeling that way, although I can see your initial suspicion that it comes just before a major event like the golf time. Perhaps her answer that she simply wants to feel you inside her again is the right way to see it. In which case it is best not to upset her by seeing it as a tease. It is a major step for her as it does break her spell, and just before she goes away. That’s a risk for Sue in her mindset, so you shouldn’t put your tease spin on it which might cheapen it in her mind.
I suppose a legitimate question to you is, Do you really want to break the spell yourself by entering her at this time? It seems from all your previous current writing that you were accepting and even wanting to go the full year without doing so.
I still see the acid test being her attitude AFTER the golf trip. She is still saying she is getting there, implying she is not there yet. Will the trip actually get her there? If not, what more has to come before she does get there? Maybe you should ask that the few seconds in her pussy is split in two, half before and half after the trip. It’s a far more meaningful reconnection after than it is before after all. It also goes to the heart of what Sue sees as the final state of eventual reconnection and the path she sees in getting there. Something again you should not misinterpret as a tease when she starts on the program. Eventually!
I think it is great news that Sue is feeling that way, although I can see your initial suspicion that it comes just before a major event like the golf time. Perhaps her answer that she simply wants to feel you inside her again is the right way to see it. In which case it is best not to upset her by seeing it as a tease. It is a major step for her as it does break her spell, and just before she goes away. That’s a risk for Sue in her mindset, so you shouldn’t put your tease spin on it which might cheapen it in her mind.
I suppose a legitimate question to you is, Do you really want to break the spell yourself by entering her at this time? It seems from all your previous current writing that you were accepting and even wanting to go the full year without doing so.
I still see the acid test being her attitude AFTER the golf trip. She is still saying she is getting there, implying she is not there yet. Will the trip actually get her there? If not, what more has to come before she does get there? Maybe you should ask that the few seconds in her pussy is split in two, half before and half after the trip. It’s a far more meaningful reconnection after than it is before after all. It also goes to the heart of what Sue sees as the final state of eventual reconnection and the path she sees in getting there. Something again you should not misinterpret as a tease when she starts on the program. Eventually!
Does anyone else find it ironic that Steve’s “Fathers Day” present is to have sex using two methods designed to prevent a man from becoming a father - pull out and condom?
All kidding aside, that is great news. Sue may be looking down the road to the end of her time with Paul. This trip with him and her actions after may tell you a lot about the future. Enjoy your moments of bliss!
All kidding aside, that is great news. Sue may be looking down the road to the end of her time with Paul. This trip with him and her actions after may tell you a lot about the future. Enjoy your moments of bliss!
Well, we talked a bit more last night and she was quick to caution me that "it's going to be a while before I want to have more with you" and as we talked more she made it clear that this isn't necessarily going to be the start of anything - and that I will still need to be using condoms. She said that it's partially that she admitted she gets turned on when she watches me masturbate and that she's wanted to know herself that if she wanted to feel me again that she could and would. Sort of her own mental therapy I guess. And she was clear that "unless you cum really quickly..." that I'm just going to get to "remember how I feel in there" to which I responded that indeed - it is something that I haven't so much forgotten as have become unfamiliar with.
I am honestly unsure about it all but I will surely and absolutely be there hard-cock and all if and when she asks for it. But honestly - it feels both strange and incredibly great to say and admit that it feels amazing right now to simply know that there's no sex between us right now. I never would have believed I could go 5+ months- but here we are at 5 months and 1 day since I was last intimate with Sue. The feelings are amazing to still be incredibly and deeply in love with her - and know that it is vice-versa - but that we are sexually abstinent (for the most part) with each other. I do long for when I can be in her vagina again, much less hope for her butt - but at the same time, it's amazing to feel good about knowing she is fully his right now.
With the crappy weather in our forecast for this weekend, I told her that she should have him come here this weekend and that next weekend she could stay at his place if she wanted. We've already agreed that she'll be here with me on Fathers Day weekend as one or both of our kids will also probably come home and then she'll get to go with him the following weekend.
As I said - we'd been talking a lot and my surprise at her decisions were from how comfortable we were about taking about our feelings about her exclusivity with him. We had both expressed shared surprise at how this shift of intimacy has both affected us and not affected us. It's clear that with sex off the table between us, that there is both more time together (even with her seeing Paul) and less tension when we are together as I admitted that I did find myself spending time on thinking about when the next time we'd have sex vs. anything else - and it honestly felt good to tell her that. She insists that it wasn't a part of her "obligation" feelings that she's long spoke of wanting to shed - but I think she's not seeing it - that even I feel it - that I would convey my desire and need to her in other ways when I now look back and see that I should have let her enjoy what she had with Paul or Robert or anyone before that. But she was ready to agree that things are just easier between us right now - she laughed at one point and said that she did truly like that she can be naked around me and that we both now know that it doesn't have to mean anything - and even if I do get hard or turned on, that she definitely does not need to do anything she doesn't want to. We always knew that before - but as I said - I think it's her being nice - that I know that in the past if I was horny and had a hard-on around her that I would be more open about it - let her see me stroking but at the same time I know clearly conveying that I would rather have her.
Posting this now as I'm about to join a call for work.
I am honestly unsure about it all but I will surely and absolutely be there hard-cock and all if and when she asks for it. But honestly - it feels both strange and incredibly great to say and admit that it feels amazing right now to simply know that there's no sex between us right now. I never would have believed I could go 5+ months- but here we are at 5 months and 1 day since I was last intimate with Sue. The feelings are amazing to still be incredibly and deeply in love with her - and know that it is vice-versa - but that we are sexually abstinent (for the most part) with each other. I do long for when I can be in her vagina again, much less hope for her butt - but at the same time, it's amazing to feel good about knowing she is fully his right now.
With the crappy weather in our forecast for this weekend, I told her that she should have him come here this weekend and that next weekend she could stay at his place if she wanted. We've already agreed that she'll be here with me on Fathers Day weekend as one or both of our kids will also probably come home and then she'll get to go with him the following weekend.
As I said - we'd been talking a lot and my surprise at her decisions were from how comfortable we were about taking about our feelings about her exclusivity with him. We had both expressed shared surprise at how this shift of intimacy has both affected us and not affected us. It's clear that with sex off the table between us, that there is both more time together (even with her seeing Paul) and less tension when we are together as I admitted that I did find myself spending time on thinking about when the next time we'd have sex vs. anything else - and it honestly felt good to tell her that. She insists that it wasn't a part of her "obligation" feelings that she's long spoke of wanting to shed - but I think she's not seeing it - that even I feel it - that I would convey my desire and need to her in other ways when I now look back and see that I should have let her enjoy what she had with Paul or Robert or anyone before that. But she was ready to agree that things are just easier between us right now - she laughed at one point and said that she did truly like that she can be naked around me and that we both now know that it doesn't have to mean anything - and even if I do get hard or turned on, that she definitely does not need to do anything she doesn't want to. We always knew that before - but as I said - I think it's her being nice - that I know that in the past if I was horny and had a hard-on around her that I would be more open about it - let her see me stroking but at the same time I know clearly conveying that I would rather have her.
Posting this now as I'm about to join a call for work.
SoonToBe said:
Re-reading both posts it's clear that us readers are a step away and it's hard to tell what this is.
It could be a tease on Sue's part (as @peakmb suggests) and lets be honest being allowed to once again feel that special sensation of PIV sex for a very brief time and to then have it taken away, possibly / probably before could be quite a tease.
On the other hand if she's saying that she wants a reminder and it's not because of an obligation to Steve it could be that, despite her wanting to be "All Paul's" sexually she herself senses the need to keep a link (her link?) with Steve at a sexual level
Enigma,
You misquoted me. I wasn’t suggesting Sue was teasing Steve, I was telling him off for treating it as one. It was yet another example of him trying to top from the bottom and interpreting Sue’s desire’s to suit his own kink. As reported she seems to quite seriously want / need to do this. The ‘why’ is of course less clear, as is the timing just before she goes away.
Steve,
It seems to have taken a long time in your life to discover that if you concentrate on what sex your wife wants (rather than what you want), that the whole thing can run better and deeper. For both of you. Anyway, you’ve got there finally. Well done, but don’t go confusing it with a Dom / Sub thing. It’s more an equal thing where both parties consider the other’s needs.
After yet another, “I’m happy as things are at the moment,” I’m unsure how to get you to think beyond the moment. You say that you long to be back in her pussy, yet you appear not to have said that to Sue. Quite the reverse, you say you are happy, indeed desirous for your denial to continue. I suppose you can be conflicted sometimes, but if you are maybe Sue should be aware.
Finally, Sue’s overriding need. You are both risking a lot on Sue’s need to feel sexually closer to Paul and sexually apart from you. Sue has been trying to get into her desired state for a long time now, and even now she only suggests she is ‘getting there’. I accept you have both no say in how things are going, and equally are so lost currently in your denial angst fog (I’m happy etc..) that you don’t question it anyway. But. What exactly is this state? Does Sue even know what it is? Has she shared it with you? With Paul? If she isn’t there, what does she have to do to get there? How long will it take? How long does she want to stay in that state given that it has taken her so long to get there? It’s just that these questions completely determine your sexual future, whatever you yourself think about what is going on.
If, as SS suggests, you both may be evolving into a new evolved sexual relationship where no or very little sexual connection remains the norm, then you have little to fear in waiting to determine the above questions. If, as Sue suggests and you have alluded to, you wish to resume a mutually satisfying sexual full contact, then you are already in the danger zone. The use it or lose zone. Where Sue loses the spark of sexual desire and her flame goes out for you. It hasn’t gone yet, and her simple desire to feel you once again inside her for a short time may be her way of gauging what remains. Still, it may well be severely damaged if Sue needs an extended period of time to get to or stay at the point she is aiming for.
You misquoted me. I wasn’t suggesting Sue was teasing Steve, I was telling him off for treating it as one. It was yet another example of him trying to top from the bottom and interpreting Sue’s desire’s to suit his own kink. As reported she seems to quite seriously want / need to do this. The ‘why’ is of course less clear, as is the timing just before she goes away.
Steve,
It seems to have taken a long time in your life to discover that if you concentrate on what sex your wife wants (rather than what you want), that the whole thing can run better and deeper. For both of you. Anyway, you’ve got there finally. Well done, but don’t go confusing it with a Dom / Sub thing. It’s more an equal thing where both parties consider the other’s needs.
After yet another, “I’m happy as things are at the moment,” I’m unsure how to get you to think beyond the moment. You say that you long to be back in her pussy, yet you appear not to have said that to Sue. Quite the reverse, you say you are happy, indeed desirous for your denial to continue. I suppose you can be conflicted sometimes, but if you are maybe Sue should be aware.
Finally, Sue’s overriding need. You are both risking a lot on Sue’s need to feel sexually closer to Paul and sexually apart from you. Sue has been trying to get into her desired state for a long time now, and even now she only suggests she is ‘getting there’. I accept you have both no say in how things are going, and equally are so lost currently in your denial angst fog (I’m happy etc..) that you don’t question it anyway. But. What exactly is this state? Does Sue even know what it is? Has she shared it with you? With Paul? If she isn’t there, what does she have to do to get there? How long will it take? How long does she want to stay in that state given that it has taken her so long to get there? It’s just that these questions completely determine your sexual future, whatever you yourself think about what is going on.
If, as SS suggests, you both may be evolving into a new evolved sexual relationship where no or very little sexual connection remains the norm, then you have little to fear in waiting to determine the above questions. If, as Sue suggests and you have alluded to, you wish to resume a mutually satisfying sexual full contact, then you are already in the danger zone. The use it or lose zone. Where Sue loses the spark of sexual desire and her flame goes out for you. It hasn’t gone yet, and her simple desire to feel you once again inside her for a short time may be her way of gauging what remains. Still, it may well be severely damaged if Sue needs an extended period of time to get to or stay at the point she is aiming for.
She's been pretty clear with me about all of this - as she says, it's how she wants to - slowly - re-introduce us to sex and to have it, in a way, start over again where she doesn't feel the mom/wife role returning. But she's also been clear that she definitely does want us to reconnect sexually - and she was very relieved (that was apparent) when I told her that I was in a good place and that if she needed this to go on for longer, that it could. Perhaps that was the reassurement she needed to take this first step, I don't know.
I do understand what she wants and I can almost see her end-game. I don't see her giving up Paul, not at long as he's content with things. But if she's been thinking about me now on Wednesday's when she's been watching me, then I am pretty sure of her desires. My guess though is that this is going to be a long drawn out return for us, given what I am understanding she wants, she's not there yet. I think in a way, her wanting to feel me again is a way of reassuring her in some ways. But I do get what she wants and I think she's not there yet. It's clearly more a mental state than physical. What I can only try to explain is what she's said to me - that she wants to feel like she is a different person sexually - but different from how she was again as a wife/mom - I don't think it's the promiscuous mid-20's that she's wanting to re-live but I think she wants the feeling she had from back then regarding how she was sexually. I still remember so much about the earliest times together with her and I know she was different too - she was demanding sexually - she made it clear what she wanted and I know that she's felt strongly that she's lost that and - I think - she's rediscovering it again. Her "commanding" me about what we will and won't be doing is really right in line with this if I venture a guess.
I also don't think this is meant as a tease to me either. I think she genuinely wants to keep the physical desire there between us and as I've said, I wonder if this is a response to my feeling more comfortable with our new roles? Anyway - going to get some stuff done out in the yard before the weather turns for the rest of the weekend.
I do understand what she wants and I can almost see her end-game. I don't see her giving up Paul, not at long as he's content with things. But if she's been thinking about me now on Wednesday's when she's been watching me, then I am pretty sure of her desires. My guess though is that this is going to be a long drawn out return for us, given what I am understanding she wants, she's not there yet. I think in a way, her wanting to feel me again is a way of reassuring her in some ways. But I do get what she wants and I think she's not there yet. It's clearly more a mental state than physical. What I can only try to explain is what she's said to me - that she wants to feel like she is a different person sexually - but different from how she was again as a wife/mom - I don't think it's the promiscuous mid-20's that she's wanting to re-live but I think she wants the feeling she had from back then regarding how she was sexually. I still remember so much about the earliest times together with her and I know she was different too - she was demanding sexually - she made it clear what she wanted and I know that she's felt strongly that she's lost that and - I think - she's rediscovering it again. Her "commanding" me about what we will and won't be doing is really right in line with this if I venture a guess.
I also don't think this is meant as a tease to me either. I think she genuinely wants to keep the physical desire there between us and as I've said, I wonder if this is a response to my feeling more comfortable with our new roles? Anyway - going to get some stuff done out in the yard before the weather turns for the rest of the weekend.
Here's something about which I don't remember reading any significant comments:
Paul is obviously married to golf. It comes first, before anyone or anything. It explains, in part, why he has no permanent significant other relationship.
That also makes him ideal in the relationship with Sue. It makes it safe for Steve over the long run. He'll never be more than a sex toy for her. She, as is the case with most women, would never put up with his skewed priorities.
Just thinking..
Paul is obviously married to golf. It comes first, before anyone or anything. It explains, in part, why he has no permanent significant other relationship.
That also makes him ideal in the relationship with Sue. It makes it safe for Steve over the long run. He'll never be more than a sex toy for her. She, as is the case with most women, would never put up with his skewed priorities.
Just thinking..
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