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Time spending with lovers: Evenings, nights or weekends?

ffred

ffred

Not quite a lurker
Beloved Member
Hello everybody,

we are a married couple, 50 years old and practicing cuckolding for approx. 6 years now.

When we begun enjoying this lifestyle we found out that the way dealing with Nadines lovers was she spending the evening together with her lover the comming home and telling me every detail of their love session. I also have to add, that at this time also our kids were living together with us. So in many ways it seems to be reasonable comming home late evening or during the night.

Later sometimes (now and Then) I recieved a call from her cell asking me if she could spend the night in the arms of her lovers. I did not decline it because on one hand I felt it very exciting when Nadine (my wife) spent the night together with her lover and on the other hand the kids left our home nest so nobody noticed that mother was not spending the night in her own bed.

Last month my wife came asking me if she could spend a weekend together with her current number one lover in another city. In principle I don`t mind because I am sure she will tell me every single detail of the weekend afterwards and this is what I enjoy most. Also I find it very arousing helping her pack the suitcase with fine lingery and also well selected clothes for their weekend together.

But to be honest there are also some thoughts about where that will bring us. It started with evenings, then nights and now weekend(s). What is next? Vacation?

Is anybody here being in the same situation? What is your experience? Any comment or advice?


Thanks
Fred
 
My wife will sometimes spend extened periods of time with a over. It is not that she has less respect for my influence in out relationship etc..

She simply is in love with the felling of being intimate with a man she likes on a grand scale.
She sometimes goes on what she like to call her 'honyemoons". She loves and is addicted to the excitement of a new relationship.

She will go on a "honeymoon" for a week or so with a newer boyfriend (who we both like and trust) for some serious fucking and yes, some romantic times.
This is extremely erotic for both of us.

This is not for everyone but it works for us.
 
A very touchy subject

MacAnFries, brings up some very pertinant observations, and is so on target with the "emotional" effects of this lifestyle. Ffred, you did not mention how much sex you and you wife now have, and can you satisfy her sexually, or do lyou perefer someone else to do that. Couples of your age are not going to have sex for a weekend or longer, it means your wife wishes to spend her free time with someone else. We get so wrapped up in the sexual thing, we sometimes forget we males get boring as we get older, and tend to spend our time grumbling about money, lack of it, too much of it, complaining about our work, etc.

Now you think I am not going to answer your question, but I am, as she becomes more attached emotionally to her lover, and her lover become comfortable and attached to her, they both want to spend more time together, especially holidays, weekends, etc. Men become attached to women, and very will want her with him on the special times. Here you lose her.
 
NYJOE said:
My wife will sometimes spend extened periods of time with a over. It is not that she has less respect for my influence in out relationship etc..

.................

She will go on a "honeymoon" for a week or so with a newer boyfriend (who we both like and trust) for some serious fucking and yes, some romantic times.
This is extremely erotic for both of us.

This is not for everyone but it works for us.
Click to expand...

First thanks for your comment:

If wife spends extended periods together with her lover(s) there is also a lot of emotional involvement included. Maybe that is the point where I am a little worried about. Sure the love sessions with her lovers are more fullfilling compared the sessions we do by ourselves.

If wife goes out for the evening and I get a full report of all activities I feel more safe because in my opinion I have control about the situation and can put a break in it in time if necessary. If there are extended periods maybe I am missing this safety feature....


A second question: How do you explain the extended periods where wife is missing to your partners in social life? e.g. grown kids, neighbors, friends....

Honestly speaking, we do not like to let everybody know about our lifestyle.

But anyway interesting discussion.

fred
 
mimi27406 said:
MacAnFries, brings up some very pertinant observations, and is so on target with the "emotional" effects of this lifestyle. Ffred, you did not mention how much sex you and you wife now have, and can you satisfy her sexually, or do lyou perefer someone else to do that. Couples of your age are not going to have sex for a weekend or longer, it means your wife wishes to spend her free time with someone else. We get so wrapped up in the sexual thing, we sometimes forget we males get boring as we get older, and tend to spend our time grumbling about money, lack of it, too much of it, complaining about our work, etc.

Now you think I am not going to answer your question, but I am, as she becomes more attached emotionally to her lover, and her lover become comfortable and attached to her, they both want to spend more time together, especially holidays, weekends, etc. Men become attached to women, and very will want her with him on the special times. Here you lose her.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your very interesting reply.

I will try to answer your questions:
Yes there is an existing sex life between us but honestly speaking the level decreased with every year we are together. That means there is more fullfilling sex between my wife and her lover(s) than we have together. That answers also the second question: Yes I prefer someone else to satisfy her sexually.

Now I will come back to the emotional level I also described in my previous post: If my wife spends an evening or a night together with one of her lovers she will report the content of the love session when she comes home again. I think I am able to evaluate the level of emotional involvement and therefore to have a tool to influence the direction whats going on. If they spend a weekend or even a week together on vacation I am not feeling very well because maybe I am missing my safety tool to influence something if I think it is not going into the right direction, maybe when the level of emotional involvement is increasing and I have doubts that that will have a heavy impact on our partnership.

And the second thing I am not sure about: How to explain a missing wife for some weeks to your partners in social life who do not know about your lifestyle?

fred
 
ffred said:
First thanks for your comment:

If wife spends extended periods together with her lover(s) there is also a lot of emotional involvement included. Maybe that is the point where I am a little worried about. Sure the love sessions with her lovers are more fullfilling compared the sessions we do by ourselves.

If wife goes out for the evening and I get a full report of all activities I feel more safe because in my opinion I have control about the situation and can put a break in it in time if necessary. If there are extended periods maybe I am missing this safety feature....


A second question: How do you explain the extended periods where wife is missing to your partners in social life? e.g. grown kids, neighbors, friends....

Honestly speaking, we do not like to let everybody know about our lifestyle.

But anyway interesting discussion.

fred
Click to expand...

My wife and I also strive to keep our (her) activities a secrete from our familys and friends. Keep in mind that she doesn't do this that often.
However, when questions are asked, there are many cover storys that we use like she is visiting a sick friend or whatever, etc.
To be honest, nobody really asks any more.

Yes, some emotional involvement is inevitable but what else would one expect even if she was only getting fucked and they quickly parted each time. A cuckold husband has to accept emotional inviovement or else he is simply kidding himself. You want you wife to get fucked by others with no emotional involvement? That would only make her akin to some kind of private porn star or ****** for your amusment.
To be honest, I'm not shure exactly what you want to "influence".

As far as safety, the guys chosen for extended stays have proven to be trusworthy and just looking for sex and nothing else. Guys with egos, etc are not even considered.

We both are more turned on during extended stays becase of the extra taboo factor involved.

Bottom line, if you are shure that your relationshio is secure and strong enough to endure this, OK. If it is not, there is no sense in even considering it.
 
Fantasy vs true cuckolding? I do believe you hit upon the true issue.
How many new cuckolds want their cake and eat it too? They only want ther wives to "perform" for them, not actually to be with someone.

So-called "true cuckolding" does not always mean that the husband gives up all control. I am an alpha male and insist on certain ground rules that my wife has always followed as she agrees with them also.

Having said that, every couple has to find their own comfort zone and limits to define for themselves what cuckolding means for them.
 
We are a mid 50s couple in the lifestyle 15 years. We started with swinging, then me being present when she fucked others, then her telling me about it. She does spend the night with her lovers - nothing like being able to take advantage of morning wood. She also goes off on weekends, but usually that is to be with someone who lives in another city. I don't worry as much about emotional attachment since she has many lovers and is not spending the extended time with one person.

When she is out of town and with her lovers 24/7 she can be a real slut and not have to worry about potentially getting caught in public with him by a coworker or neighbor.
 
Hi all,

thanks for your replies, it helped me evaluating the current situation. I will let you know what happened this week.

At the beginning of this week I asked Nadine (my wife) if she is serious with her plan wanting to spend a full weekend with one of her lovers. She said that it is not really a plan, it is an idea she wants to discuss with me in detail and she also mentioned that she thought this could spice up our relationship. I did not want to discuss it once more, we decided we will go out on Wednesday having dinner and an extended talk about this issue.

Wednesday was fun because Nadine dressed as she will do if she is going on a date. She wore business/sexy clothes, yes she knows what I like most. We talked about her plan spending a full weekend from Friday to Sunday in Berlin, our capital city, with a more or less new found bf. He is also married but involved into business with regular extended business trips also on weekends. So it is no problem for him to organise such "love weekend".

I asked if he knows our lifestyle we live in detail. Nadine answered: "Sure, he knows because I told him that I will only go with him for the weekend if I have your permission for doing it." Hearing that, stones, no rocks fell from my heart and I was very happy about hearing it. Honestly I answered, that I did not expect that she is asking permission for doing it. She told me clearly that her view of our relation is doing funny and sometimes maybe stupid things, but always in full consent.

I was more than happy hearing this outcome of our discussion. We discussed the weekend she will spend together with her bf and I told her, that I will like it to pack her suitcase, select her lingery for the weekend and expecting a full report at least twice a day.

She had a knowing smile in her face and then the waiter ended our discussion because we were the last people in the restaurant before closing. We spent the entire evening discussing this issue but in my opinion it was worse every minute of it.

If you want I can keep you informed about the weekend, my first with my wife with lover on her own. It will be 08/20 to 08/22.

fred
 
Hi all,

yesterday Nadine phoned me during working hours asking if I would like to join her for some shopping. She needs some clothes for their weekend in Berlin. I agreed and we met in the mall.

Nadine bought a nice short, black cocktail dress, mentioning that her old one is too conservative for this weekend, for sure some undergarments, strings, panties stockings...... Then she bought a dark semi transparent blouse, very nice.

Afterwards we had a drink and we spoke about the plans for the weekend. She told me that she will be picked up at home at around noon on Friday. I asked her to change plans and let me drive her to the airport which she accepted. On Sunday afternoon I will pick her up at the airport.

During the evening we discussed about the comming weekend and honestly speaking I enjoyed every minute of our talk. Away were all my concerns and doubts. I had my wife in my arms we cuddled and enjoyed the nice evening. At the moment I have more the impression that this weekend will give some new sparks into our relationship, much more positive feelings than concern about physical involvement of lover.

We will see. I will keep you informed.


Ciao
fred
 
Yesterday it was a very erotic game, when my wife packed her suit case. I know every piece of clothes my wife took with her because as I described before I was able to join her in the mall. Nevertheless it was very erotic because I often asked, for what occation do you intend to wear this or that. Willingly she answered all my questions in a very erotic and soft way.

Later there were also 2 surprises for me I did not expect:

First when she packed her beauty case I saw that she took out some condoms from her dresser drawer and put it in her bag. I asked: "Did I misunderstand anything? I thought you will go bareback with your lover because as far as I know you decided in this way." Nadine answered: "Oh yes honey you are right. But that are only for security reasons because I neither know the agenda for this weekend exactly nore do I know what surprises are in for me this weekend."

I must have a look like a ghost but did not push her further because I had the impression that either she wanted to tease me or she expected an event with the envolvement of other males.

The second surprise was that I could only find 1 additional bra beside the bra she was wearing. I asked for a reason for it and she told me that her lover does not like her wearing a bra for their love weekend. She did not like this idea at first but made the compromise to waer one only for the flight to Berlin and back but not during their stay in Berlin.

Once again I had wide eyes and Nadine saw it. She tried to convince me for this sexy idea but I know her for a long time and I saw that she was not very comfortable with this idea by herself. I asked: "Do you think that it is appropriate for a women of 50 to spend a weekend without wearing a bra? When I saw your semi transparent blouses you packed, how would you wear these blouses without a bra underneth?"

I knew that this was also a weak point for her and so she answered: "one reason for agreeing to this request was that I do not expect to leave the hozel room for extended periods of time and on the other hand you also tried to convince me going out in such condition for many times."

Then I brought her to the airport, I wanted to kiss her but she moved away and I got a light kiss on the side. Then she went away and I did not see her lover.

In the evening she phoned me and informed me that they checked in and had some hous on their own. She told me that they were dressing for dinner which they had outside. I asked her what she was wearing and she informed me that she put on her new cocktail dress because they had some company for dinner meeting some business friends from her lover. I expected a second phone call during night but there was no call and I am waiting for it now. It is morning here now.

Ciao
fred
 
I want to give you an update on my current situation being at home alone and my wife Nadine spending her weekend with her lover in Berlin.

Today in the afternoon Nadine has called and has given me an update about her weekend in Berlin.

After their first get together in the hotel and making love for some ime they went out for dinner. As mentioned during dinner 2 business colleagues from her lover joined them and they had a very nice evening. After dinner they decided to visit a cocktail bar for some ongoing communication. After some drinks they changed the location once more and visited a dancing bar. She enjoyed the evening because she likes to dance and danced with all three of them. There was some flirting and light grooping of every of the available men and in the morning hours her lover suggested to go back in the hotel and have some fun together. Nadine asked her lover if he was serious wanting her to be fucked by all of them. Her lover mentioned that this should be fun for all four of them and tried to convince her that she should agree to his proposal.

Nadine was not all for it so she decided against her lover`s proposal. He was a little mad and Nadine got the impression that he offered her to his colleages as an easy game but she did not like it. So he got more dominant and tried to push her. To make a long story short, he did not agree so my wife and her lover went back to the hotel. Due to his madness the sex in the hotel was not so exciting. In the morning her lover woke her to blow his morning wood. But she did not like the idea because she was not in the mood for it due to the things happened the evening before. So they discussed this issue and he appologized for his behaviour and afterwards they had great sex.

Today they planned some sight seeing and then a nice dinner in the evening but alone.

I asked Nadine why she did not go all the way also with his colleagues. She answered if only one colleague would have joined the dinner, maybe she would have gone for it but 3 men were at least 1 too many.

I asked her to call me after comming back to the hotel and she said MAYBE.

So I am waiting for her call.

CIAO
fred
 
ffred said:
I want to give you an update on my current situation being at home alone and my wife Nadine spending her weekend with her lover in Berlin.

Today in the afternoon Nadine has called and has given me an update about her weekend in Berlin.

After their first get together in the hotel and making love for some ime they went out for dinner. As mentioned during dinner 2 business colleagues from her lover joined them and they had a very nice evening. After dinner they decided to visit a cocktail bar for some ongoing communication. After some drinks they changed the location once more and visited a dancing bar. She enjoyed the evening because she likes to dance and danced with all three of them. There was some flirting and light grooping of every of the available men and in the morning hours her lover suggested to go back in the hotel and have some fun together. Nadine asked her lover if he was serious wanting her to be fucked by all of them. Her lover mentioned that this should be fun for all four of them and tried to convince her that she should agree to his proposal.

Nadine was not all for it so she decided against her lover`s proposal. He was a little mad and Nadine got the impression that he offered her to his colleages as an easy game but she did not like it. So he got more dominant and tried to push her. To make a long story short, he did not agree so my wife and her lover went back to the hotel. Due to his madness the sex in the hotel was not so exciting. In the morning her lover woke her to blow his morning wood. But she did not like the idea because she was not in the mood for it due to the things happened the evening before. So they discussed this issue and he appologized for his behaviour and afterwards they had great sex.

Today they planned some sight seeing and then a nice dinner in the evening but alone.

I asked Nadine why she did not go all the way also with his colleagues. She answered if only one colleague would have joined the dinner, maybe she would have gone for it but 3 men were at least 1 too many.

I asked her to call me after comming back to the hotel and she said MAYBE.

So I am waiting for her call.

CIAO
fred
Click to expand...

So Fred ? what's happen next ?

I'm living actually in Berlin and I'm Karribean ;)...from france...
 
fred, Dont do it, I did exactly the things you described for the reasons you described and it lead to a disaster. A lifetime of controlled sharing cuckolding has come to a halt. MY wife wants nothing but her last #1 Bull and will not even entertain the idea of replacing him with a lighter relationship. She wont admit it but it is clear as can be she was deeply in love with him.Femdom control can be a part of the relationship, but when it slides into emotional betrayal the pleasure leaves and serious pain begins.
 
Joey,

joey7890 said:
Fred, don't do it.
Click to expand...

Don't do what? Fred's last post did not include an option for him to "do" or "not do" anything.

joey7890 said:
I did exactly the things you described for the reasons you described and it lead to a disaster. ... A lifetime of controlled sharing of cuckolding has come to a halt. My wife wants nothing but her last #1 Bull and will not even entertain the idea of replacing him with a lighter relationship.
Click to expand...

Your wife's cuckolding of you leading to disaster, in your view, seems unfortunate. For Fred, though, that train [his wife fucking other men] left the station long in the past.

joey7890 said:
My wife won't admit it, but it is clear as can be that she was deeply in love with her last "no. 1 bull." [Her] femdom control [of me may] be a part of [her relationship with him], but when [her cuckolding of me began sliding] into emotional betrayal, the pleasure left and serious pain began.
Click to expand...

I edited this sentence somewhat in an attempt to clarify it, but it still seems slightly unclear. If you wife is in love with her "last no. 1 bull," is his and her cuckolding of you in the past but she still pines for him?

Or alternatively, has your wife re-established her relationship with her "last no. 1 bull" in a way that causes you to feel you may lose her?

—Custer
 
rembrant said:
So Fred ? what's happen next ?
Click to expand...

Hi,

they returned from Berlin and I picked her up from the airport. I was surprised because she kissed me like we were a new found couple in their first love wave. Nevertheless I enjoyed it and as a summary I have to mention that the weekend in Berlin was a great success for both of us.

At home I asked for details and Nadine mentioned that the sex was great after their conflict. BUT she also mentioned even they had great sex there was a crack in their relationship. She told me that the trust they shared before was nearly gone. So the rest of the weekend was more concentrated on sex than other things a couple normally do together.

I was surprised and asked if she expected things like meeting strange guys could happen because I reminded her on the condoms she packed before the trip. She answered that she had a lot of thoughts about this event and maybe that could have been a nice thing if they planned it in another way. What she absolutely disagreed was the fact that it lokked like she would be the fuck meat for everyone like a cheap **********. So I found out that the plan of her bf was not this bad but the script and also maybe the possible outcome was not acceptable for her.

After this event she also stopped seeing her bf and after some phone calls he was history.

After some month I have to say that our partnership was stromg enough and together with a lot of discussion we feel that we are open for thinds like this but always in full consent.

fred

PS: Thanks Custer for clarifying the thread.
 
Custer, I must have read misunderstood the post or not read it thru, I thought he was asking if weekends and nights out are a good idea. 2. I agree with your second Question sota same answer as #1. #3 you clarified my clumsily stated sentence very well. Bottom line by indulging my cuckold fantasies as well as my wife's desires led to a situation were I have lost my wife's affection, she no longer loves me. Once she returned to me, after she left in our early marriage, I never doubted her emotional loyalty. WE used to say she was like a man, she could get laid , have a fuck I could never give her, and walk away from it with no emotional connection. That went on for 30 plus years and 20 plus men. THis last one changed it all. To much room was left for emotional bonds to be developed. Also the posters wife was upset because her Bull wanted to share her. Apparently she feels a special bond exists between her and her Bull. I read that as a clear danger sign for hubby.
 
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