Watching Your Wife--- Is there a Protocol?

[cuckcroydon]

Where would you use a safe word or phrase? Long long ago Sue had warned me that once she got started and sex was imminent that she wouldn't stop unless I really meant it as in physically separating them,etc. Even when I lost it and left them (her and Brad) one time, she didn't come right after me and I have always felt that she would have finished fucking him before she did so. I did, however, that time text her that I was okay and that I'd see her later. So, for us, for me to "tell" her to stop - it would have to be more direct and firm.

I suspect you should instead discuss this with her than trying to ask us here on the board. My feelings are that you should probably know this stuff - or at least how you both feel about it - before going into it. I learned as we went along and the first few times were awkward, for sure.

I feel if you focus on her pleasure, that all else pretty much seems to just happen of its own accord. It is difficult if possible at all to script out such an evening, at least for us.

Rita and I and, indeed, her lovers have a clear understanding that finally she calls the shots. So while some of the guys are / have been playfully dom, when to end a session is entirely up to her (unless the guy has drained himself out).

Leaving her with her guy? Well, I’m not really sure what the general ‘norms’ are. Some of our like-minded couple friends don’t do it. A few do. In our case that has been happening right from the time we started out. Rita was quite clear that sometimes she would need her space with her guy(s). At what point, when exactly, at which stage of the relationship she, naturally, could not say. As a strict rule, the first 3 to 4 times with a guy, she will insist on me being around. Then on her own or if this is suggested by the guy and she agrees, they meet on their own. Weekends or brief vacations with just she and her lover is a part of our lives.

Of course, being alone with her lover for a while is often contrived for fun. And I love that. After ‘suffering’ my company for a while, she may ‘instruct’ me or tell the guy to ‘instruct’ me to leave them alone. That ‘humiliation’ bit is fun.

 

[cuckcroydon]

It is important for me, when another guy is fucking my wife, to let them both know that I am very much involved, and even somewhat in control of the situation. After all, I am the one who is "allowing" it to happen.

I am always right there, and see to it that they both are very aware of my presence, through talking with them while they fuck. Even if they don't answer, they are very much aware of my involvement.

And, I can't keep from stroking myself as I watch. The most difficult part is to keep from jacking myself to completion before the right moment. I have found that when the two of them are cumming, I can get even more involved and step forward to shoot my own cum onto their naked bodies.

That is my way of saying "She's still my Pussy! You are only fucking her with my permission and cooperation!"

Quite the opposite for me. If I ever get the feeling that my wife is not in control of the overall situation, half the joy would be gone.

 

[cuckcroydon]

Regardless of how hot the action gets I am always aware of his attention but the final decision of how far things go or for how long is always hers.

Precisely!

 

[cuckcroydon]

I am not allowed to watch and thats OK with me. I think if you are lucky enough to watch her then shut-up and be quiet until she directs you do something else.

Well said!

 

[cuckcroydon]

But you miss the whole point of being "CUCKOLDED", losing her (pussy), being humiliated by the lover, whether in person or just knowing the fact that your wife has one, being made to serve them in some manor, is what this is all about. Anything else is just "Swinging".

I don’t think the wife being humiliated is always necessary in a cuck equation. The husband, ok. And yes, swinging is something entirely different. Not up our street.

 

[cuckcroydon]

Cuckolding - wife's needs met, bond between husband and wife weakened. (Maybe not weakened but certainly changed)

Changed, yes. Weakened? No! Certainly not in our case. Our bonds have grown stronger. I am more devoted to her and much more concerned about her needs than I ever was.

 

[cuckcroydon]

I appreciate everyone's comments. I am, in fact, wrestling with this very issue with Kristen at this moment. Basically, she just wants the right to have outside lovers, but is not particularly interested in any contrived cuckolding. But--- in fact her desire to have lovers with absolutely no involvement by me is in fact "cuckolding" me. When I suggest to her that I would enjoy our "lifestyle" more with more participation she typically tells me to "pound sand". Therefore--- she is cuckolding me according to Tammy's definition. It is very frustrating and humiliating to be cuckolded in this fashion. That is, just to be unceremoniously "left out” with no say about who she fucks and no involvement either.

I am not going by any classic definition of cuckolding, but if you are being sidelined that’s not cuckolding.

Your wife ought to realize that there’s a huge lot of pleasure that her husband can also get from her taking other lovers. It’s such great fun for both. I mean, right from the point of prospecting a guy, you both share the thrill – by discussing, linking up with him.

You help her dress up for him, get ready for him. Even trim her pubic hair before the first real encounter.

The joy she and you can experience when she flirts with him for the first time. Then back home, the two of you go through every detail of the encounter. Wow!!!

Then her joy in teasing you about how better he is on this count or that! And your joy in hearing all that!!!! Then preparing her for the next meeting! It can be such an all-consuming, obsessive thing.

It's precisely for that reason that my wife has taken on new lovers over the years. With each new guy, the sparks fly all over again. New planning, new preparations. And the guy is new, so there's bound to be something different about him. Discussing that. And, yes. He has a different set of preferences, a different style, attitude. A different body. So I and we prepare for hours and days to get the new chemistry going. Thereafter, when it's on, so much more joy! Now another guy to compare with the other guys and me!!!! it is just funtastic!

 

[motorcitypaul]

I like that,hand holding. She's accepting your presence and including you in the fantasy.

 

[motorcitypaul]

Iam not married, but from the many scenes I have watch on Screw My Wife video's, wife & hubby hold hands, hubby holds wife's head so she can be more comfortable, sometimes they even kiss.

 

[watchedwife]

It all about allowing the wife to do what ever she wants sexually with the other guy without you getting jealous. I love fucking my wife pussy right after the other guy has filled it with his hot cum. Sloppy seconds are awesome!

 

[motorcitypaul]

That's a good question,Not being married,can't offer much. How bout, as they (wife & lover) start to warm up, you go for (ice,drinks,what-ever) thenj quietly come back in, the lights are going to be dim anyway, so maybe they won't notice> Just an idea...

 

[motorcitypaul]

Hand holding (your I am guessing)that's good, that lets the other guy know your the one she is committed to.

 

[milfmaid]

I think that it all depends on what you are looking for, and what feels right in the moment. I think most of the pleasure for the observer is the visual images, and if that results in my hubby jerking off to what he is seeing, all the better, as it also shows me that he is enjoying watching me being fucked by a stranger. In my experience, few words are spoken during sex, however, I saw a few vids where the woman talks to her partner while fucking the bull, and it really is sexy....if it comes to mind, I will probably try this, as I know it would push my partner over the edge. I guess for the full experience, a woman in this lifestyle just wants to know that she is desired, to the point that any guy watching or participating will get off by the beauty and sexiness of the hotwife. And I am not against my partner getting involved as well, as me as the centre of a 3 some is always appealing to me. I saw that you are also concerned with your partner having sessions without you....I wouldnt be so concerned, as I too want the freedom to experience this, as the freedom to fuck, or should I say the fact that my partner gives me this freedom, is a HUGE turn on, as it really speaks to the trust and pure sexual energy that he knows I have. My guy definitely wants a strong, sexually provocative and confident woman who exudes sex, and invites it at every turn. The fact that this energy spills over to others is simply evidence of that.

 

[2wheel]

I use the strct definiton of cuckold:
1 - a man whose wife has sex with someone else : a man's whose wife commits adultery
2 - a man whose wife is unfaithful

It does not include race. Nor does it include a husbands knowledge or involvement. It alos does not include SOs. And it doesn't include humilition of any kind.

Of course in todays world of waining marriage SOs are being included as substituion for wife.

I my wife ever cuckold's me, I hope. She will control the event environment beyond the requirement that I be present.

 

[susan]

It is important for me, when another guy is fucking my wife, to let them both know that I am very much involved, and even somewhat in control of the situation. After all, I am the one who is "allowing" it to happen.

I am always right there, and see to it that they both are very aware of my presence, through talking with them while they fuck. Even if they don't answer, they are very much aware of my involvement.

And, I can't keep from stroking myself as I watch. The most difficult part is to keep from jacking myself to completion before the right moment. I have found that when the two of them are cumming, I can get even more involved and step forward to shoot my own cum onto their naked bodies.

That is my way of saying "She's still my Pussy! You are only fucking her with my permission and cooperation!"

This is my husbands way also... he sometime participates....sometimes i wil do oral on him while my lover recovers... its all fun