When it all goes horribly wrong...

[spooge]

Right my first thread......

I've been following the hotwife idea for a while now and I'm still not sure if it's something to play with on the internet or a lifestyle I'd be interested in. I'm too strong a charactor to be a conventional cuckold (if that exists). I've even entertained the idea of being a bull.

Anyway there are a lot of stories and forums on the subject that make it sound great for the people involved but it has to be more complex than that.

Can any of you bring some balance to the idea and share your experience of when it all went wrong. Especially couples who tried it and decided it's not for them or seperated because the relationship didn't survive.

It may sound unusual but I want the horror stories from the cucks or wives because it's easy too get caught up in the fantasy and forget the implications..........

 

[kimcarl]

Well, my story is a complete disaster.

Like you, my ex husband was too strong and would never go for the idea. Obviously, from the "ex" part of husband you can tell we are divorced, and divorced because of this fantasy.

A couple of therapists told me that the statistics are about 90% chance that a man will eventually divorce his wife if she is unfaithful even once. They both used the term eventually.

After being single for a while, attending counseling, meeting with single groups, I can tell you that at my age women seek marriage, and a good one, and men seek sex, FWB, and commitment less often than women.

What I am saying is that from my perspective, this is a lot fantasy and in reality this lifestyle can lead to trouble.

There have been studies done. Women 40+ seek ONE partner in a stable marriage 42% more often than do men of the same age group. What does that tell you?

 

[spooge]

Well, my story is a complete disaster.

Like you, my ex husband was too strong and would never go for the idea. Obviously, from the "ex" part of husband you can tell we are divorced, and divorced because of this fantasy.

A couple of therapists told me that the statistics are about 90% chance that a man will eventually divorce his wife if she is unfaithful even once. They both used the term eventually.

After being single for a while, attending counseling, meeting with single groups, I can tell you that at my age women seek marriage, and a good one, and men seek sex, FWB, and commitment less often than women.

What I am saying is that from my perspective, this is a lot fantasy and in reality this lifestyle can lead to trouble.

There have been studies done. Women 40+ seek ONE partner in a stable marriage 42% more often than do men of the same age group. What does that tell you?

Thanks but what is your story and why did you split up? Your stats are for unfaithful wives and I'm not sure they apply the types of marriages you find here. I'm trying to understand what it is that goes wrong...

 

[kimcarl]

What I was trying to show is some reality. Fantasy can get carried away and reality becomes skewed.

I tried to get my husband into this lifestyle and it didn't work. I tried by putting him down and saying I needed another man. He left.

Mac is a smart one, he has a great balance for all of this. One of the few that does, myself included.

 

[inf_shop]

very interesting thread, something newbies most deff should read before entering into this, it affects everything and everyone and much more than one would expect

 

[spooge]

Thanks for the comments so far...

I'm looking for personal experiences off what went wrong and why to kind of balance the stuff you read on the likes of Literotica (which I have a lot).

I'm also interested to see who has the problems ( I realise every case is individual). Does the wife fall for the bull or lose respect for the cuck, does the cuck lose repect for the wife etc.....Do bulls and cucks clash?

There is also the sex aspect of it as well it can't always be great. Are couples ever put off because the sexual experince wasn't good or affected them in a negative way afterwards?

 

[NCStorm]

Part 1

First ... who am I? I had a LT (almost 3 yrs.) relationship with a gal that turned out to be a Hotwife ... I was just looking for a relationship, FWB, with a married woman ... the fact that she was a Hotwife was just an accident. I do happened to believe her divorce (he left her) did have something to do with this lifestyle, which he was the one who originally promoted and sold the idea to her. Maybe I can get back to this in a Part 2 later when time allows. However, it strikes me a better understanding of the terms and definitions will help you. An example that may not be obvious ... in my case if you were going to put a label on me I would prefer Fuck Buddy over the over used term here of Bull, and for now I will let you figure out the difference. [note my current avatar ... also attached since I change it from time to time]

I've been following the hotwife idea for a while now and I'm still not sure if it's something to play with on the internet or a lifestyle I'd be interested in. I'm too strong a charactor to be a conventional cuckold (if that exists). I've even entertained the idea of being a bull.

As for a few definitions, which generally I find that Mac and I agree on and that many on this site get mixed up and blend them together promoting misunderstandings.

Cuckold: Is the husband of a wife who has sexual relations with others, she may be cheating and may or may not make her husband aware. He really has no say in the matter. She is NOT a "Hotwife" btw. The reason you find that most cuckolds fall into the submisive side (many variations) is typically the "alpha" male would not put up with this and would leave a woman like this. To the extent a cuckoldress (wife) puts up with her submisive hubby and uses this to humiliate him, to his pleasure and kink, is up to her ... and frankly probably makes it easier for her to continue her outside desires and activities.

Open Marriage: Is the term used in the 'swinger' world where both the husband and wife mutually agree to allow each other the right to have sex with others.

Hotwife Lifestyle: Is where the wife has sexual relations outside of the marriage with the full support, permission and encouragement of her husband and the husband remains faithful to her. Quite often the original idea to enter into this situation comes from and is promoted by the husband ... for any number of reasons from wanting to make his wife happy to satisfying a kink of his. This can also range from her having relations apart from him, he might like to watch or even MFM situations. The husband of a Hotwife can be either alpha or submissive. I my case, her husband was definitely an alpha male. There is no real term for the husband of a Hotwife ... therefore, the term 'cuckold' is often used even though it is incorrect.

Back to your situation ... and there is risk in bringing it up or trying to sell it, but sounds like what you are looking for is an "Open Marriage" and has nothing to do with the cuckhold lifestyle.

 

[spooge]

Back to your situation ... and there is risk in bringing it up or trying to sell it, but sounds like what you are looking for is an "Open Marriage" and has nothing to do with the cuckhold lifestyle.

Thanks for clearing up some of the terms I guess it's the hotwife idea I like to read about then.

To be honest I don't know that I'm looking to try anything like this with my marriage I just like the stories for now. That said I do like them a lot but I think it's important, even with just a fantasy, to keep your feet on the ground.

 

[NCStorm]

Thanks for clearing up some of the terms I guess it's the hotwife idea I like to read about then.

To be honest I don't know that I'm looking to try anything like this with my marriage I just like the stories for now. That said I do like them a lot but I think it's important, even with just a fantasy, to keep your feet on the ground.

Also keep in mind that the stories on this site are often as much fantasy rather than reality ... guys that wish they were cucked and is probably more than about the "hotwife" situation.

Also [and please people ... this is not racial on my part] remembering this site is an off chute of the Dark Cavern forum ... the majority would have you believe that most wives, either of cuckolds or hotwives, desire big black cocks (BBC) and this also intensifies the fantasy. There are just as many (unscientific) that like white lovers. My personal example: my former HW's husband after getting her into the Hotwife scene wanted desperately for her to take on black lovers, being part of his kink ... it was something that was her personal choice not to do.

 

[spooge]

MacNfries you're right of course and that's why I'm asking the question as there seems to be very little info on this side of the subject.

I don't want to get off on other people's misery I'm just aware every coin has two sides.

Just out of interest (and to see if I'm getting to grips with the terminology) shouldn't a cuckolds forum be full of unhappy men......

 

[NCStorm]

Just out of interest (and to see if I'm getting to grips with the terminology) shouldn't a cuckolds forum be full of unhappy men......

Fair question ... remember also that there are many here living out their cuckold fantasy and are not in fact in a real life cuckold situation.

Then on the other hand there are happy cuckolds for any number of reasons. One being they are very much on the submissive side and want to be controlled and/or humiliated by their wives, and this includes crossdressing sissies which there seems to be a number of. Knowing their wife is fucking others satisfies this humiliation they desire. There are also quite a few that are so ashamed of how small their penises are that they want their wives to be happy getting something that will satisfy them. Just check out the small cock pics in another section of the forum and you can understand. Those are just a couple of reasons for happy cuckolds, there are others.

 

[Saraha]

A true cuckold would never think of divorcing his wife, because he wants his wife to have a satisfying sex life. A macho husband would divorce his wife if he found out she was cheating, because his EGO is hurt - his love for his wife is a "conditional love", and not a bit about "for better or for worse".

A man who divorces his wife over cheating misses the point that his wife is not getting her emotional and sexual needs satisfied at home, so she seeks comfort elsewhere. A marriage can be repaired if hubby is prepared to discuss ways that that can bring them back onto the same page again.

 

[mimi27406]

Many marriages fail, more for financial reasons than sex, but sex does rate right up there. Men have felt they had the right to stray and take Mistress for most of all history, and women were considered sluts if they had sex out of marriage. Times have changed. Men have always loved promiscuious women and in olden times Priestess and ********** were senonomous.

A woman does not want to go to bed with a man that has just critised her cooking, or told her she was spending too much money. Her lovers just please her and leave the baggage at home.

 

[KingDavid]

If you guys want a story of what can possibly go wrong, here is my story:

I was happily married to a nice woman, but she would not want to go out with other men. I decided to divorce her and instead I married this gorgeous hot babe, think of the face of Catherine Zeta Jones with Jennifer Lopez's ass, and blonde, 15 years younger than me... I figured "what can possibly go wrong?, I just have to let her go out with other guys and we both will be very happy"...well, I never counted on her not believing in the value of being honest with me and telling me how her dates went, instead she just thinks the way to do it is to make me the last one to find out, period. take it or leave it. She is a financial disaster. She does not care a bit about the value of money, presumably because she has all these guys with money who can buy her anything she wants at any time, or so she brags, although on the multiple times I have kicked her out of my life she ends up coming back to me, and never taking money from the other guys although that will probably be best for me. She is constantly with one foot on the door, or better said, she constantly has me with one foot on the door, and when we fight she makes it known to her entire family that she goes out to party without me. She is dumb, she is uncapable of reasoning via words, only emotions, in her head she is never wrong and she thinks she is a genious although she is not even one tenth as smart as she thinks she is.

Just to make it clear, someone asked what can possibly go wrong in a cuckold relationship, and I am only providing my story. Not looking for advice or opinion. I know what I am doing wrong, and I know what to do to fix it.... Should I get rid of her?, I dont know, I am cuckold ... will the end of the story be that one day I will be single again (and for the rest of my life?) perhaps deploring the whole cuckold experiment?, probably.

 

[KingDavid]

KingDavid, thanks for the share ... "women, can't live with 'em; can't kill 'em."
depression demons, a serious, self-distructing problem. Mac

Thanks Mac. Here is a picture of my wife

 

[Pinkyrod]

Hey! I met her before..!

 

[KingDavid]

Yup, that's way way too much HIGH MAINTENANCE for me, that's for sure! I imagine you have just about every single stud coming around and peeing on the trees & steps to leave their scent ...

Thanks Mac. I dont mind other guys drooling for my wife. All they have to do is ask nicely lol....but it's when they start trying to take her away from me that I get pissed. Thank goodness that when guys start pressuring my wife they make a bad mistake, cause she is the type that no matter how much she is involved, if they pressure her, they are history.

 

[Saraha]

I was happily married to a nice woman, but she would not want to go out with other men. I decided to divorce her.

I know what I am doing wrong, and I know what to do to fix it....

Should I get rid of her?, I dont know, I am cuckold

From a woman's point of view, I offer the following because I don't think you should have two divorces in a row and be lonely for the rest of your life:-

Talk to her in a gentle voice at all times, and do not blame her about anything. She has hopes/dreams and sexual desires, so do you.

It is important that you help your new wife to get what she wants in life and then she can help you with your dreams.

If you decide soon to be a better "friend" to her, she may open up and tell you everything that happens when she is having dates with other guys - but you must not criticise or be angry with what her body needs to be sexually happy.

Learn to love her again as much as when you first met her, by writing a list of something nice about her. Everyday write another thing you like about her. Keep adding to the list and after a few weeks you will grow to love her again (and the thought of divorce will disappear, never to return).

If you start writing a list of bad things about her, your marriage will be over.

You can't change her slutty ways and annoying behavour, but you change yourself by identiying the things you think are nice about her.

Many men crave for a slut wife, so being a slut is not always bad.

She keeps returning to you because she needs a cuckold in her life. Put her on a pedestal again and in your eyes she can never do anything wrong.

Intend to become the best cuckold you can possibly be, and let her rule your world. Don't go down the path of a lonely life on your own as a single man. You will regret it.

Try and build up a better friendship with her family by forgiving them for judging you wrongly. Let them know that you love your wife, so they will like you more.

 

[KingDavid]

From a woman's point of view, I offer the following because I don't think you should have two divorces in a row and be lonely for the rest of your life:-.

Wow, you are a wise lady Saraha... that's some awesome advice. You are hitting it on the nail...and you are right, she is annoying lol.

You know, there is a lot to learn and do from your advice, and I will certainly follow it.... just let me make one tiny tiny note: If I ever divorce my wife, and this would actually be my third divorce, I ain't going to stay lonely for the rest of my life, I for sure will aim at getting me a hotter babe LOL.... just kidding.

Best
KD

 

[mywife/herlover]

My Wife left me for her lover.She fell in love with him and left me for him.I loved her cuckolding me.I couldnt get enough of her fucking someone else.I love the humiliation side of it and I wanted her to tell me how much better he was then me sexually.But I still needed reasuring that it was me who she loved.But the more time she spent with him and the fun they were having and the pleasure he was giving her, made her feelings change and she eventually left me for him.