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Where Did My Fascination With Cuckolding Originate From?

Discussion in 'Ask SandyWho!' started by iann, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. iann

    iann New around here... Beloved Member :)

    Hi,

    As the title of the thread suggest, I developed this fascination and obsession for cuckolding a few years ago, and I have no idea how it began. It took me years, and lots of courage, to "talk" about it once when out-of-nowhere my fiancée wanted to know my deepest fantasies. At first, she seemed shocked but soon enough we used this to spice up the sex life. She knows my desires, but I want give her time to decide because I really want this to happen, provided she feels the same way For now, I keep my obsession under wraps and really try to think about the repercussions of this lifestyle and what it would entail for my relationship (pros and cons). I know my question is charged and complex, but would you give me your insights on where this fascination and/or obsession originates from? Thank you.
     
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  2. SandyWho

    SandyWho Not quite a lurker VERIFIED! Beloved Member :)

    You do know the old expression "Be careful what you wish for" ?

    I think all men --and all women--have fantasies about multiple sex partners and certainly we all masturbate to them as well. I am not the best person to speak to the cuckolding origins but I understand where the strings come from. When you are in a strong relationship and proud of it, you like to test the limits. With women, we flirt all the time but that doesn't mean we would leave our current partner--but it also says we understand our sexuality. But it does make for some sexual tension with my boyfriend when he knows I am attractive to other men and they want what he has. So how far is he will to test that and how far am I willing to go to excite him? It is a bit of give and take that can escalate into a relationship where one partner obtains pleasure from their partner enjoying sex with another person.

    All that said, I wouldn't suggest you push this since your fiancee may take this as "condition" for you future marriage or continuing relationship.
     
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  3. itsmeagainmikey

    itsmeagainmikey New around here... Beloved Member :)

    I've tried to figure this out and I'm surprised how little there's any useful research.

    My guess would be that it can originate either from some younger years GF/crush relationships. Even some subtle feelings that made you feel like you are incompetent might do it, hell it might not even have to be anything with women. It might be triggered just overall feeling of incompetency in childhood in your social circles, for example being bullied.

    Or my other guess would be that it could be something related to you mother. For example if you had to watch your mother being abused in any way while being powerless as a child, would probably cause cuckold fantasies later.

    Then again, I would like to know how many men don't really have cuckold fantasies if they just let their mind free. Fear of losing your woman is one of the biggest fears for man naturally through the evolution and fear/anxiety seems to be quite big trigger for our fantasy world.
     
  4. mr.Her's

    mr.Her's New around here... Beloved Member :)

    Anecdotal observation but a history of feelings of inadequacy, difficulties with assertiveness and accepting humiliation brew a powerful punch. Those alone however may lead to submissive fantasies, cuckolding being just one possible fetish. What I believe tipped the scales for me was each of the mentioned came from sexualizing several experiences early on.

    I was a sickly and feverish child who had regular visits with a stern old pediatric nurse which I dreaded but mostly conceded to quietly. Insult to injury was having to go through testosterone therapy between 8th and 9th grade. During that difficult age for everyone, in school I suffered losing the attention of boyish crushes to friends, bullies over and over. Both ongoing experiences were humiliating to the point I started to sexualize them. By the time I had my first kiss it was with a confident high school senior (I was a junior) who had previous boyfriends and healthy dating experience. That's when I remember the cuckold fantasies starting regularly.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2018