My wife wont stop seeing others. Says she needs to. Wondering how common this is? Ive asked her to stop and she refused. Been going on for our entire 10 years of marriage but seems to be getting out of control now. We have 3 kids 1 is mine im afaid what her behavior is doing to them also. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
Wife dates is this common?
- Thread starterloki2426
- Start date
Is This Common?
I don't know how common a 'wife dating others' is, but if as you say, she's been like this for ten years(?), you've asked her to stop, and you're afraid of the effect her behavior is having on the kids (one of which you know to be yours)... (What about the effect her behavior is having on your marriage?)
Your wife is CERTAINLY OUT OF (YOUR) CONTROL. If you've not taken definitive steps to make her stop, or to remove yourself from the situation, you qualify as a cuck in the truest sense of the word. Just an opinion...
I don't have really any advice for you. The 'ten year' thing sort of suggests that you've become accustomed to the way she is/treats you. You're the person who has to get up the courage to stand up to her. That you haven't done so to this point means that you'll probably just always be this way. YOU are her 'enabler.'
OBTW, is she spending YOUR MONEY on the others that she 'dates?' Do YOU work hard all week just so she can party all weekend? Does she share YOUR bed with the guys she 'dates?' All valid questions, since you chose to go public with this...
I don't know how common a 'wife dating others' is, but if as you say, she's been like this for ten years(?), you've asked her to stop, and you're afraid of the effect her behavior is having on the kids (one of which you know to be yours)... (What about the effect her behavior is having on your marriage?)
Your wife is CERTAINLY OUT OF (YOUR) CONTROL. If you've not taken definitive steps to make her stop, or to remove yourself from the situation, you qualify as a cuck in the truest sense of the word. Just an opinion...
I don't have really any advice for you. The 'ten year' thing sort of suggests that you've become accustomed to the way she is/treats you. You're the person who has to get up the courage to stand up to her. That you haven't done so to this point means that you'll probably just always be this way. YOU are her 'enabler.'
OBTW, is she spending YOUR MONEY on the others that she 'dates?' Do YOU work hard all week just so she can party all weekend? Does she share YOUR bed with the guys she 'dates?' All valid questions, since you chose to go public with this...
loki2426 said:
I have no problem with open marriages. I always feel that if people both consent to date others while in a marriage then that's okay if they both agree. But it doesn't sound like that with your problem. It sounds to me like she's disrespecting your marriage and your love for her by seeing other men against your will.
If it bothers you so much, give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you DO love her but you can't handle this. It not only puts you at risk for anything she could bring home to you (STD's) it's also disrespectful. Do you mind that those other children aren't yours? Do you like raising someone elses children? If not, you've let yourself be put into a terrible situation.
My advice is if it doesn't bother you, then continue on as you've been doing but by seeing you've posted here, I can tell it DOES bother you so definatly talk to her about it and let her know how you feel. Take control of things and let her know how you feel. That's what marriage is all about. Communication. If you don't have that, you don't have anything.
Randy she does not work so yes it is my money, she also parties during the week. Yes she does share our bed. When im home she uses spare bedroom well her second room. Yes i have become accustomed and enjoy the way she is most of the time. Carolina i do not mind raising those children they are hers and i love them like they are mine also. She wants one more also. Main concern is for the affect on the kids knowing what she does. They seem to understand and are fine with it but who knows. As far as our marriage im relatively happy with it. Lets just say im not very good in the sex department.
C
ChopChop
Guest
This could be positive
Loki,
Sounds you just need to vent. Sounds also like you are mostly OK with it. You question the impact on the kids. Perhaps you should try to put on a positive face around them to minimize the impact on them. They must love their mother as do you. Open marriages are be very enjoyable. Nothing worse than a boring marriage and sex life.
I urge you to try to make the best of this.
Loki,
Sounds you just need to vent. Sounds also like you are mostly OK with it. You question the impact on the kids. Perhaps you should try to put on a positive face around them to minimize the impact on them. They must love their mother as do you. Open marriages are be very enjoyable. Nothing worse than a boring marriage and sex life.
I urge you to try to make the best of this.
Not Always Enjoyable
Open marriages can be enjoyable if the wife lets the husband have fun. My wife after the first few times keeps her black lovers private. She won't even let me watch (claims it cuts down on her enjoyment). All I get to see are results of sessions when she returns home. Bill
Open marriages can be enjoyable if the wife lets the husband have fun. My wife after the first few times keeps her black lovers private. She won't even let me watch (claims it cuts down on her enjoyment). All I get to see are results of sessions when she returns home. Bill
ChopChop said:
My wife dates often. She has two regular lovers, one of these gets her to date his friends from time to time. I am always alowed to say no to any date and if Ido she will not go. I enjoy her dating when she gets home she wanks me off whilst telling me all that has gone on. I do watch her regularly with her two lovers and have enjoyed seeing her at bars with dates who have no idea who I am before watching them leave to make love.
