Hi all! I am a sub and i am moving toward a 24/7 lifestyle. i have a very small
penis (usually it hides itself inside, so only foreskin is visible, when soft...it can grow to be, 2 inches or on occasion up to 3 1/2 long, hard)
so i'm extremely into small penis humiliation...With that i also desire to be humiliated in anyway...i obviously have my limits.
But the events that happen unexpectedly and r out of my control, have the greatest impact on me...of course these events would most likely test my limits...
The longer i've been submissive... the less confident i feel...This makes me feel weaker, which creates a vulnerability in me... i start wonder if i could stand up for myself in a confrontation..
my domme told me a long time ago, though we both want, need, and desire me to eventually become almost completely submissive in evey way...she doesn't want me to become a complete sissyboy Whimp that is incapable to stand up for themselves in any confrontation, form anyone, anywhere, anytime...
I used to feel that i would put up a fight and try to to win any confrontation put to me...as my confidence depletes, i feel that my ability to even try to oppose the confrontation is lessening and now i'm a little afraid i'm worried to be even faced with a conrontaion..i'm worried that i'm starting to become a whimp, it leaves a very uncomfortable feeling in me...aah but also it gives me a very turned on feeling...
Now let me take a deep breath...because this is still very hard for me to admit!
k, just yesterday i walked to the local store...when i'm out in public on my own i like to wear some womans clothing, but nothing to obvious but definitely womens...it always includes panties and a very crotch tight pair of dress pants or like today very tight jeans...with my almost non-existant penis and tight womans jeans, it very much looks like i don't have a dick at all or with a little cameltoeit almost looks like i have a pussy..
So anyway, i left the store and was walking home along the sidewalk. there's a guy walking toward me, similar stature and he looks about 20 years or so younger than my 40+ years.
As he gets nearer i feel a little uncomfortable about how my pussy like crotch looks in these very obviously female jeans..so i bow my head because i don't want to see his eyes, when he notices my crotch...
He just passes by me and then, he yells, "Hey U Fu**kin Freak!! I turn around and he's right in front of me. He's got a very angry, mean face on...I'm instantly terrified and shaken..He raises a hand and points down at me in a very mennacing way and yells at me, "I should F**king Kill U, For Being Such A Pansy Queer!"
I've never been so scared in my whole life, i almost piss myself and then i just turn around, drop my bag and ran hysterically all the way home. Ran in the door, slam it and lock it. i fell to the floor and start crying like a baby!
OMG i can't believe what just happened to me...i'm sitting here right now thinking about this. it feels a million things and emotions are going through my mind.
First of all i'm still a little scared..."what would that guy have actually done to me, if i didn't run?" "did he see where i ran to and now knows where i live?" "is he waiting outside somewhere for me, right now?"
But the emotion that is forefrontand overwhelming me is, Embarrassment! i can't believe i just turned around and ran away like a little girl ican't even fathom the idea. i've never done anything so humiliating in my whole life. omg I AM such a little whimp sissy boy! i feel totally vulnerable. if anyone uses any amount of force or even i feel its projected, i know i will submit before it could be imposed.
There r many more thoughts and fellings going through my head. i need to go through them and and sort them out.
but there is also another emotion that has emerged and is blooming. i'm getting extremely aroused and turned on onabout this incedent and am still sorting through which parts or facit is driving these emotions.
i think it was pretty easy for me to able to choose most humiliating momment!
penis (usually it hides itself inside, so only foreskin is visible, when soft...it can grow to be, 2 inches or on occasion up to 3 1/2 long, hard)
so i'm extremely into small penis humiliation...With that i also desire to be humiliated in anyway...i obviously have my limits.
But the events that happen unexpectedly and r out of my control, have the greatest impact on me...of course these events would most likely test my limits...
The longer i've been submissive... the less confident i feel...This makes me feel weaker, which creates a vulnerability in me... i start wonder if i could stand up for myself in a confrontation..
my domme told me a long time ago, though we both want, need, and desire me to eventually become almost completely submissive in evey way...she doesn't want me to become a complete sissyboy Whimp that is incapable to stand up for themselves in any confrontation, form anyone, anywhere, anytime...
I used to feel that i would put up a fight and try to to win any confrontation put to me...as my confidence depletes, i feel that my ability to even try to oppose the confrontation is lessening and now i'm a little afraid i'm worried to be even faced with a conrontaion..i'm worried that i'm starting to become a whimp, it leaves a very uncomfortable feeling in me...aah but also it gives me a very turned on feeling...
Now let me take a deep breath...because this is still very hard for me to admit!
k, just yesterday i walked to the local store...when i'm out in public on my own i like to wear some womans clothing, but nothing to obvious but definitely womens...it always includes panties and a very crotch tight pair of dress pants or like today very tight jeans...with my almost non-existant penis and tight womans jeans, it very much looks like i don't have a dick at all or with a little cameltoeit almost looks like i have a pussy..
So anyway, i left the store and was walking home along the sidewalk. there's a guy walking toward me, similar stature and he looks about 20 years or so younger than my 40+ years.
As he gets nearer i feel a little uncomfortable about how my pussy like crotch looks in these very obviously female jeans..so i bow my head because i don't want to see his eyes, when he notices my crotch...
He just passes by me and then, he yells, "Hey U Fu**kin Freak!! I turn around and he's right in front of me. He's got a very angry, mean face on...I'm instantly terrified and shaken..He raises a hand and points down at me in a very mennacing way and yells at me, "I should F**king Kill U, For Being Such A Pansy Queer!"
I've never been so scared in my whole life, i almost piss myself and then i just turn around, drop my bag and ran hysterically all the way home. Ran in the door, slam it and lock it. i fell to the floor and start crying like a baby!
OMG i can't believe what just happened to me...i'm sitting here right now thinking about this. it feels a million things and emotions are going through my mind.
First of all i'm still a little scared..."what would that guy have actually done to me, if i didn't run?" "did he see where i ran to and now knows where i live?" "is he waiting outside somewhere for me, right now?"
But the emotion that is forefrontand overwhelming me is, Embarrassment! i can't believe i just turned around and ran away like a little girl ican't even fathom the idea. i've never done anything so humiliating in my whole life. omg I AM such a little whimp sissy boy! i feel totally vulnerable. if anyone uses any amount of force or even i feel its projected, i know i will submit before it could be imposed.
There r many more thoughts and fellings going through my head. i need to go through them and and sort them out.
but there is also another emotion that has emerged and is blooming. i'm getting extremely aroused and turned on onabout this incedent and am still sorting through which parts or facit is driving these emotions.
i think it was pretty easy for me to able to choose most humiliating momment!