To Cuckolds.com forum,
My wife, Sarah, and I were married 12 years ago and have 2 kids, ages 4 and 6. About 4 years ago, I started getting interested in the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle, mostly after reading stories on this and similar websites. After awhile, I introduced the idea to Sarah, which she initially resisted, but eventually embraced once she was convinced that I had no interest in other women.
To make a long story short, Sarah had a few casual "flings" with men from AFF and similar sites, until she met Gary about 2 years ago. Sarah and Gary really hit it off and, before long, Sarah was not interested in any other outside encounters except with Gary. At first, things seemed great between the three of us. Sarah would tell me details of her encounters with Gary, and I even watched Sarah and Gary have sex a couple of times. Sarah admitted having emotional feelings for Gary, but honestly this was a turn-on for me--at first.
As time went by, however, Sarah started spending more and more time alone with Gary, and was becoming less and less open with me. Also she was becoming less sexual with me--it seemed she was just "going through the motions." About 6 months ago, I demanded that Sarah end her relationship with Gary so we could re-focus on our relationship. I had entirely lost interest in cuckolding, etc., and just wanted my marriage back the way it was before. Sarah tearfully agreed to end things with Gary, and our life was seeming to get back to normal. We even went to Europe for a month-long second honeymoon.
About 2 months ago, without any warning, I was served with divorce papers. I was stunned, and in no way saw it coming. For following few weeks, Sarah would not discuss why she wanted a divorce, until we had a dinner together a month ago. Sarah then confessed that she had never really stopped seeing Gary, but had just kept it secret. Now, she has decided that she wants to move in with him. To make matters worse, we are currently embroiled in a custody battle over our kids. A real mess.
Well, after my dinner with Sarah last month, I really went off the deep end. I started drinking heavily, and have just kicked myself over and over for ever bringing the cuckolding thing into our lives. I hate hate HATE the fact that I was so stupid and foolish to ever allow my wife to sleep with another man. Over this past month, I have even contemplated suicide.
Folks, I am embarrassed to say that in my super depressed, alcohol induced haze of a life over the past month, I have been behaving very poorly. I guess, in a way, I was sort of lashing out when I was making those stupid and disruptive posts to this website, and for that I apologize. Yesterday, a dear friend of mine got me into AA to help me deal with my drinking, and I am getting into counseling to help deal with the loss of my marriage.
I still believe that if I had not ever gotten interested in cuckolding, etc., my marriage would still be intact, albeit rather boring and routine. Who knows? But I certainly have no right to pass judgment on anyone else. I suppose, some folks are able maintain a cuckolding lifestyle and a successful marriage simultaneously. Obviously not Sarah and I.
In any event, I truly and sincerely apologize for being such a jerk over the past few weeks on this website (and a couple of others) while in my drunken stupor. I promise that I will not be making any more of those stupid, pointless, posts. The pain and despair is still there, but I feel like I am beginning to feel more in control.
Please accept my apology.
Maury
My wife, Sarah, and I were married 12 years ago and have 2 kids, ages 4 and 6. About 4 years ago, I started getting interested in the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle, mostly after reading stories on this and similar websites. After awhile, I introduced the idea to Sarah, which she initially resisted, but eventually embraced once she was convinced that I had no interest in other women.
To make a long story short, Sarah had a few casual "flings" with men from AFF and similar sites, until she met Gary about 2 years ago. Sarah and Gary really hit it off and, before long, Sarah was not interested in any other outside encounters except with Gary. At first, things seemed great between the three of us. Sarah would tell me details of her encounters with Gary, and I even watched Sarah and Gary have sex a couple of times. Sarah admitted having emotional feelings for Gary, but honestly this was a turn-on for me--at first.
As time went by, however, Sarah started spending more and more time alone with Gary, and was becoming less and less open with me. Also she was becoming less sexual with me--it seemed she was just "going through the motions." About 6 months ago, I demanded that Sarah end her relationship with Gary so we could re-focus on our relationship. I had entirely lost interest in cuckolding, etc., and just wanted my marriage back the way it was before. Sarah tearfully agreed to end things with Gary, and our life was seeming to get back to normal. We even went to Europe for a month-long second honeymoon.
About 2 months ago, without any warning, I was served with divorce papers. I was stunned, and in no way saw it coming. For following few weeks, Sarah would not discuss why she wanted a divorce, until we had a dinner together a month ago. Sarah then confessed that she had never really stopped seeing Gary, but had just kept it secret. Now, she has decided that she wants to move in with him. To make matters worse, we are currently embroiled in a custody battle over our kids. A real mess.
Well, after my dinner with Sarah last month, I really went off the deep end. I started drinking heavily, and have just kicked myself over and over for ever bringing the cuckolding thing into our lives. I hate hate HATE the fact that I was so stupid and foolish to ever allow my wife to sleep with another man. Over this past month, I have even contemplated suicide.
Folks, I am embarrassed to say that in my super depressed, alcohol induced haze of a life over the past month, I have been behaving very poorly. I guess, in a way, I was sort of lashing out when I was making those stupid and disruptive posts to this website, and for that I apologize. Yesterday, a dear friend of mine got me into AA to help me deal with my drinking, and I am getting into counseling to help deal with the loss of my marriage.
I still believe that if I had not ever gotten interested in cuckolding, etc., my marriage would still be intact, albeit rather boring and routine. Who knows? But I certainly have no right to pass judgment on anyone else. I suppose, some folks are able maintain a cuckolding lifestyle and a successful marriage simultaneously. Obviously not Sarah and I.
In any event, I truly and sincerely apologize for being such a jerk over the past few weeks on this website (and a couple of others) while in my drunken stupor. I promise that I will not be making any more of those stupid, pointless, posts. The pain and despair is still there, but I feel like I am beginning to feel more in control.
Please accept my apology.
Maury