Cuckhold Regret (First Time)

[CharlieBoxer]

Hi everyone. I've been a bit of a lurker around here and other cuck sites for a while but I've only just joined because I need your advice, help, and basically just to get things off my chest.

My girlfriend (22 y/o) and I (30 y/o) have been together for about a year and a half now, but even before that I was starting to slowly develop an interest in cuckoldry. Since being with my girl though it started to intensify more and more. To begin with I thought I was happy with it just being a fantasy that I never actually fulfilled because I didn't think I'd actually be able to deal with my girl fucking another man. However, my girl is a stripper and, after some initial jealousy and negative feelings about it during the first month or so of our relationship, I've come to really enjoy that fact about her and relish her doing that as a job.

So the fact that I was able to start liking her being a stripper, coupled with the fact that my interest in cuckoldry was intensifying more and more, led me to think that I actually did want to make this fantasy a reality and that I could definitely handle going through with it.

So about 5 months ago now, I told my girl about my fantasy and told her that I would actually like to fulfil it for real. At first she was skeptical that I'd be able to deal with it emotionally and psychologically, but I assured her that I'd be fine because, after all, I was now totally fine with her being a stripper. After her initial skepticism, she told me that if I was really keen for that then she would definitely be up for it, so she reactivated her tinder account and started looking for potential bulls.

Within only a couple of hours, she found this total Chad type guy about her own age who was totally her type and who was open to letting me watch. Now I must admit, when she first showed me his pics and their messages, I was already starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with jealousy, especially due to her obvious excitement when showing me, and the way they were talking to each other (particularly how she was talking to him). I just chalked it up to first time jitters and my normal pattern of feeling the jealousy first before settling in and then actually enjoying things though, so I encouraged her to make a date with him. They scheduled a date for a few days later and they planned to meet each other out for a drink just the two of them first, and then they would come back to our place together and let me watch them while they fucked.

They continued to message each other with dirty talk and pictures over the next few days leading up to the date, which I must admit also made me even more incredibly jealous. However, again, I figured it was all just part of the process and I was sure I still really wanted to see them fuck, so I just dealt with the jealousy and waited for their date.

The afternoon/evening of their date arrived and my girl left our place to go meet him. I expected her to be out for at least a few hours cause she normally likes to take her time when she goes to a bar. To my surprise however, only a little over an hour and a half later I hear the front door unlock and the door swing open. I go to the foyer and sure enough they were already back, my girl looking a little sheepish and him with a smug grin and his hand firmly on my girl's butt.

My girl awkwardly introduced me to him and he acknowledged me with a douchy "sup, bro?" We all went into the bedroom together and they sat on the bed side by side as I took my seat in the armchair in the corner. We made a little uncomfortable small talk for a bit, but I couldn't concentrate much cause I was so fixated on his hand resting on my girl's thigh. I also noticed she had a few hickies she definitely didn't have before she left the house that afternoon, so they must have made out a bit at the bar/on the way home. All this was making me overwhelmed with jealousy again, but I'd already come this far I felt like I couldn't back out now, plus I kept telling myself I'd like it once I got used to it.

I can't even remember the conversation properly, but something came up about my house being big and then rich guys being able to get laid, then my girl slipped her hand up into his t-shirt and said something like "with a bod like this though, who needs cash?" Almost immediately they were mouth to mouth running their hands all over each other as if I wasn't even there. My anger and jealousy started to reach a boiling point then, but I stayed in control, still telling myself I'd start to feel ok with it any second. Things only got worse.

It wasn't long before he had his hands down her shorts and he gave her her first orgasm of the night. At this point I was really struggling. I'd never heard her be so loud. I'd even asked her about the fact she managed to stay pretty quite before and she'd told me "oh I'm just never loud baby, I just like to focus on the feeling." So naturally this only pissed me off even more than I already was.

Once she settled down a little he took her shorts off, rolled her over and went down on her from behind. She was facing directly at me now but wasn't looking anywhere near me. Once again, she started screaming the fucking house down. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I said "baby, shhhh, everyone will hear." She just looked up at me with the most pathetic expression on her face and cried out something like she just can't help it.

I didn't say another word after that. For the rest of the time I just sat there thinking about what I was going to do when it was all over. I thought about attacking the guy, about breaking up with my girl on the spot, a whole lot of crazy things.

When they had finished, they talked for a bit like I wasn't there, then before long he got up, got dressed and headed off. When she asked why I was so quite afterwards I just told her that I'm just trying to remember everything that I just saw. She took this to mean that I really liked it, and said something to the effect that she was also enjoying thinking about what had just happened.

I've been trying to get over it ever since, but it's been 5 months and I still can't seem to handle it. I haven't told my girl how much it bothered me cause I feel so stupid since the whole thing was my idea, but I know she's seen the guy a couple more times since, so I really want to tell her so she'll stop seeing him thinking I'm fine with it.

So anyway, I guess my question is, how do I deal with this cuckhold regret I'm feeling? Will it go away? Why has it effected me like this when I was so sure I would be totally into it?

Any thoughts at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

 

[2wheel]

Many times the sizzle is better than the steak. Getting into the right place isn't always something everyone can do.

Keep telling yourself "it's just sex". She's with you not the other guy, because with him it's just sex.

Has she mentioned it?
Has she talked about a repeat?
Has she mentioned another session with a different guy?

 

[CharlieBoxer]

Has she mentioned it?
Has she talked about a repeat?
Has she mentioned another session with a different guy?

Yes, she has mentioned it quite a lot of times since. Certainly seems to have made a big impression on her.

She has talked about a repeat, and has actually seen him again a couple of times since (I had given the impression before we started all this that if we found a guy she really enjoyed fucking I'd be fine with her seeing him by herself from time to time if she really wanted to).

No, she hasn't talked about trying a different guy at all. She seems quite taken with this first guy.

 

[Sissyjohn]

Having your wife or girlfriend say how cute or nice a guy is can be hard to take. Especially when you know what a bad guy he really is

 

[CharlieBoxer]

Having your wife or girlfriend say how cute or nice a guy is can be hard to take. Especially when you know what a bad guy he really is

Absolutely. Not that she's ever actually described him as "nice", but her attraction to him is super obvious. Hardest part was definitely watching them together though. I'll never be able to forget the sounds she made, or the look on her face. I just fucking hate that he got her so good. I didn't think it would bother me this much.

 

[Nazareth]

If I may offer any advice, it would be to not beat yourself up too much.
I think your reaction is perfectly natural and likely very common for a majority of men.
It's also remarkable how our minds will create preconceived notions that are nothing like the reality of these situations.

In any case, what's done is done and there's no changing that. Your girl's reactions could be more the result of the experience as a whole rather than any specific 'feeling' her lover provided. Find a way to deal with it, though, and keep in mind nobody is at fault nor to blame.

 

[2wheel]

Yes, she has mentioned it quite a lot of times since. Certainly seems to have made a big impression on her.

She has talked about a repeat, and has actually seen him again a couple of times since (I had given the impression before we started all this that if we found a guy she really enjoyed fucking I'd be fine with her seeing him by herself from time to time if she really wanted to).

No, she hasn't talked about trying a different guy at all. She seems quite taken with this first guy.

Some observations.

It isn't a one-off.

She's enthralled with the experience and the guy. It seems for her it's more than just sex.

Since you're GF & BF there is no legal binding to each other.

You're not happy with the situation, the fantasy was much better than the reality.

You both need to have a heart to heart immediately if not sooner, before this spirals out of control, assuming it already hasn't. You both need to be on the same page, and you're not.

Please keep us posted.

 

[CharlieBoxer]

She's enthralled with the experience and the guy. It seems for her it's more than just sex.

You think so? What makes you say that? What do you think it means to her?

Please keep us posted.

I definitely will. I'm going to have a proper honest discussion with her about everything tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi everyone. I've been a bit of a lurker around here and other cuck sites for a while but I've only just joined because I need your advice, help, and basically just to get things off my chest. ..........

I've been trying to get over it ever since, but it's been 5 months and I still can't seem to handle it. I haven't told my girl how much it bothered me because I feel so stupid, since the whole thing was my idea. .........

So anyway, I guess my question is, how do I deal with this cuckhold regret I'm feeling? Will it go away? Why has it affected me like this, when I was so sure I would be totally into it?

Here are several thoughts.

First, note cuckhold is spelled cuckold. (I know — details, details.)

Second, note the definition: cuckold — a man with an unfaithful wife (meaning, of course, a wife who has taken a lover or who fucks other men [plural]). Since you are not married, your woman friend has not made you her cuckold. Rather, she is a woman with more than one boyfriend, one of whom is you.

Third, since you have found you are not comfortable with your woman not being exclusive to you, and with having easily found a lover who is much more satisfying than you (at least in a physical sense), if you try to set aside your realization and forge ahead and marry her, more serious problems are likely to develop. One is: in a marriage, your and your woman's finances will presumably become intertwined. If you don't fully trust her because she has a lover, especially a "steady" lover, and you don't know whether her primary loyalty is to you or to her lover — or if she moves on to other men, and doesn't tell you about them but you're pretty sure she's fucking other men — that will make the "distrust situation" worse between the two of you, because of the financial implications.

Fourth, re. your question (why are you not comfortable with your woman friend having taken a lover, when you were so sure you would be turned on by that?): there is often a large gap between the apparent desirability of a sexual fantasy and the reality of carrying it out.

Thus, I suggest it's time to inform your woman friend that you've come to realize you have a strong preference for a sexually-exclusive relationship. After both of you give it some thought, if she tells you she doesn't like that idea.... or if you sense she doesn't like that idea.... it will probably be time to tell her you feel your relationship hasn't worked out, so both of you can move on. Since the two of you aren't married, that should pose minimal difficulties.

 

[azpctcpl]

Either be honest with her or just learn she comes home to you every night and he only gets her once in a while. In other words learn to accept it and eventually enjoy she is willing to do this as most of us arent as lucky as you or two tell her how you feel truthfully.

 

[Talldarknight]

Hey OP, it sounds to me like you maybe wanted more of a stag experience than a cuckold one, where she had sex with someone ‘else’ rather than someone ‘better’, in a sexual sense. So you may not have been expecting her to experience so much pleasure or to develop an emotional attachment as a result. This has led to some real jealousy, which can be overwhelming especially for a young guy. To be a true cucky you’ll have to embrace her pleasure and actually want her to enjoy it as much as she has, and be willing to let go of your competitive male sexual ego to experience the thrill. My take on your story is that it would have been gentler to start with an experienced bull rather than any old chad (lol!) from tinder - a real bull would have understood the need for your enjoyment and had the sensitivity to ****** you to small amounts of jealousy you could handle emotionally, while checking in to see how you were travelling. What makes this stuff exciting is being able to enjoy the sting of jealousy without being overwhelmed by it, and an empathetic bull knows how to seduce the boyfriend/hubby along the process of being cuckolded in a less threatening way. For a start, an experienced one would respect the primary relationship. It’s almost like you’ve had a drug overdose from a bad dealer! Maybe you could talk her about finding a genuine bull who actually gets this kink? In the meantime certain videos might help you with your mindset, like these ones:
https://www.*******.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59434dbb360c3
https://www.*******.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph576f0ebe4b103

 

[CharlieBoxer]

Update

Hey everyone. Thanks for the follow up comments. I have spoken to my girl and I have some updates.

So, I spoke with her this morning. I started out by asking her how things have been going with the other guy, because I wanted to try to gauge where things might be at there to figure out how she might react to me trying to pull the plug on whatever they've got going on. She didn't elaborate much though, just said "um, it's good" and kinda got a goofy grin on her face. I told her that it seemed like she really liked him, but then she laughed and said that she didn't really and that he's actually a pretty major asshole. I suddenly felt a pretty big wave of relief wash over me when she said that. At that moment, I started to feel better emotionally and psychologically than I have in months. I was pretty surprised by the revelation though, so I asked her if that was really true and she told me "yeah, he's actually a dick, babe".

With that news, I told her what a relief that was to hear because I thought maybe she was starting to really like him, but I've actually been regretting the whole cuckold thing and I'm really keen to just go back to being exclusive with each other (I was certain to reassure her that it wasn't her fault and I didn't have any hard feelings towards her for what had happened, but that I had just come to realise that cuckolding really isn't for me).

After I stopped speaking, she just sat there completely silent for about 10-20 seconds, just kinda staring off into space, then she said that she thought I said I liked it though. I told her that I thought I liked it too, but that after actually giving it a proper try I've discovered that I actually don't really and I'd like to just go back to being monogamous (again, I assured her that it's definitely not her fault, I'm not mad, I still love her, I just made a mistake and I don't want to do the cuck thing anymore).

Again, she went silent for a while, then she asked what it was I didn't like about it. I told her that it made me feel way more jealous than I expected it was going to, so much so that I couldn't even enjoy it at all (again, I reassured her that it wasn't her fault that I felt this way, it was totally on me, I blame myself, and that I just don't want to not be exclusive anymore).

Again, she went quite for a bit, then she said that she thought I said I'd be able to handle it though. I told her that I thought I'd be able to when I said that, but that actually experiencing it was far more intense than I ever thought it would be and I've now learned that it's just not something I can deal with (again, I assured her that it was totally my fault for underestimating the intensity of jealousy I'd feel and for overestimating my ability to handle it).

She didn't go silent at all this time and immediately said "so what you're saying is that you can't handle it even though you told me you could?"

This time I went silent for a few seconds to process what she said, I realised that she was basically correct, and so I told her that I suppose that is what I'm saying. She just replied with kind of an annoyed grunt. I stayed silent for a few seconds, then I told her that I understand that I messed up, then she kinda cut me off and started saying that since I was the one who said I wanted this, that it's not fair for me to expect her to change on a dime just because I've changed my mind now. I asked her what she means by that exactly, and she told me that she means I can't expect her to swap from monogamous to cucking me and back to monogamous so quick just because I've changed my mind all of a sudden.

I asked if that meant that she still wanted to see the other guy, and she said that she did. I said that I thought she said he was an asshole though, and she said that he is an asshole. I asked her why she still wanted to see him then, and she just turned and looked at me like I was an idiot. I started to feel extremely anxious again at this point, I could feel myself getting hot behind the ears and getting that horrible tunnel vision panic kinda sensation happening. All I could say was "but you said he's an asshole though", to which she replied "babe..." in a condescending tone while still looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I asked her if she understands just how upset, anxious, jealous, and depressed it makes me to think of her meeting up and hooking up with this guy, and she told me that she's sorry about that and she knows that I know that I'm the one who fucked up, but that mistakes have consequences and that I'll just have to learnt to deal with it.

At that point, I'm ashamed to admit, but I basically just started literally pleading with her to please not see him again. She let me go on for a few minutes, then she got off the bed, got down on her knees in front of me, took my face in her hands, looked me in the eyes and told me that she knew how upset I was, that she was sorry I'm so affected by this, but that it's just not fair for me to ask her to change on whim, and that I'm going to have to just deal with the consequences of my mistake for a while.

She left the room for nearly half an hour at that point while I just sat there on the floor. Eventually she came back in and, in what sounded like a genuinely concerned tone, asked me if I was going to break up with her. I told her that I didn't want that, I still wanted to be with her, I just wish this whole thing hadn't happened. She told me she was glad, cause that would be really unfair for me to dump her over this. I agreed that that would be pretty unfair. After that she paused for a moment, then she told me that she was glad I still wanted to be with her. I told her that of course I did, I love her. She told me she loves me too and we had a big long cuddle sitting on the floor together in silence.

So I guess she's still going to be seeing this dickhead for at least a while, so I suppose I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with it at least a little better than I have been so far.

What are everyone's thoughts about this? Why do you think she still wants to keep seeing him if he is such an asshole? Is it just to teach me a lesson maybe? Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry if I prattled on a bit too much. Just a whole lot I've been trying to deal with here.

 

[Comegetthisdick]

Hi everyone. I've been a bit of a lurker around here and other cuck sites for a while but I've only just joined because I need your advice, help, and basically just to get things off my chest.

My girlfriend (22 y/o) and I (30 y/o) have been together for about a year and a half now, but even before that I was starting to slowly develop an interest in cuckoldry. Since being with my girl though it started to intensify more and more. To begin with I thought I was happy with it just being a fantasy that I never actually fulfilled because I didn't think I'd actually be able to deal with my girl fucking another man. However, my girl is a stripper and, after some initial jealousy and negative feelings about it during the first month or so of our relationship, I've come to really enjoy that fact about her and relish her doing that as a job.

So the fact that I was able to start liking her being a stripper, coupled with the fact that my interest in cuckoldry was intensifying more and more, led me to think that I actually did want to make this fantasy a reality and that I could definitely handle going through with it.

So about 5 months ago now, I told my girl about my fantasy and told her that I would actually like to fulfil it for real. At first she was skeptical that I'd be able to deal with it emotionally and psychologically, but I assured her that I'd be fine because, after all, I was now totally fine with her being a stripper. After her initial skepticism, she told me that if I was really keen for that then she would definitely be up for it, so she reactivated her tinder account and started looking for potential bulls.

Within only a couple of hours, she found this total Chad type guy about her own age who was totally her type and who was open to letting me watch. Now I must admit, when she first showed me his pics and their messages, I was already starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with jealousy, especially due to her obvious excitement when showing me, and the way they were talking to each other (particularly how she was talking to him). I just chalked it up to first time jitters and my normal pattern of feeling the jealousy first before settling in and then actually enjoying things though, so I encouraged her to make a date with him. They scheduled a date for a few days later and they planned to meet each other out for a drink just the two of them first, and then they would come back to our place together and let me watch them while they fucked.

They continued to message each other with dirty talk and pictures over the next few days leading up to the date, which I must admit also made me even more incredibly jealous. However, again, I figured it was all just part of the process and I was sure I still really wanted to see them fuck, so I just dealt with the jealousy and waited for their date.

The afternoon/evening of their date arrived and my girl left our place to go meet him. I expected her to be out for at least a few hours cause she normally likes to take her time when she goes to a bar. To my surprise however, only a little over an hour and a half later I hear the front door unlock and the door swing open. I go to the foyer and sure enough they were already back, my girl looking a little sheepish and him with a smug grin and his hand firmly on my girl's butt.

My girl awkwardly introduced me to him and he acknowledged me with a douchy "sup, bro?" We all went into the bedroom together and they sat on the bed side by side as I took my seat in the armchair in the corner. We made a little uncomfortable small talk for a bit, but I couldn't concentrate much cause I was so fixated on his hand resting on my girl's thigh. I also noticed she had a few hickies she definitely didn't have before she left the house that afternoon, so they must have made out a bit at the bar/on the way home. All this was making me overwhelmed with jealousy again, but I'd already come this far I felt like I couldn't back out now, plus I kept telling myself I'd like it once I got used to it.

I can't even remember the conversation properly, but something came up about my house being big and then rich guys being able to get laid, then my girl slipped her hand up into his t-shirt and said something like "with a bod like this though, who needs cash?" Almost immediately they were mouth to mouth running their hands all over each other as if I wasn't even there. My anger and jealousy started to reach a boiling point then, but I stayed in control, still telling myself I'd start to feel ok with it any second. Things only got worse.

It wasn't long before he had his hands down her shorts and he gave her her first orgasm of the night. At this point I was really struggling. I'd never heard her be so loud. I'd even asked her about the fact she managed to stay pretty quite before and she'd told me "oh I'm just never loud baby, I just like to focus on the feeling." So naturally this only pissed me off even more than I already was.

Once she settled down a little he took her shorts off, rolled her over and went down on her from behind. She was facing directly at me now but wasn't looking anywhere near me. Once again, she started screaming the fucking house down. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I said "baby, shhhh, everyone will hear." She just looked up at me with the most pathetic expression on her face and cried out something like she just can't help it.

I didn't say another word after that. For the rest of the time I just sat there thinking about what I was going to do when it was all over. I thought about attacking the guy, about breaking up with my girl on the spot, a whole lot of crazy things.

When they had finished, they talked for a bit like I wasn't there, then before long he got up, got dressed and headed off. When she asked why I was so quite afterwards I just told her that I'm just trying to remember everything that I just saw. She took this to mean that I really liked it, and said something to the effect that she was also enjoying thinking about what had just happened.

I've been trying to get over it ever since, but it's been 5 months and I still can't seem to handle it. I haven't told my girl how much it bothered me cause I feel so stupid since the whole thing was my idea, but I know she's seen the guy a couple more times since, so I really want to tell her so she'll stop seeing him thinking I'm fine with it.

So anyway, I guess my question is, how do I deal with this cuckhold regret I'm feeling? Will it go away? Why has it effected me like this when I was so sure I would be totally into it?

Any thoughts at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

I remember one couple I was with the husband got so upset he left. We though he had go to the bathroom so we continue.. I guess we were so into it we did not notice that he never came back. Needless to say she called him and he said he was out driving cause he could not handle seeing her with another man. It pissed her off cause it was something that he wanted to see her do.

 

[2wheel]

You think so? What makes you say that? What do you think it means to her?

Your statement.
"She has talked about a repeat, and has actually seen him again a couple of times since "

 

[2wheel]

Update

Hey everyone. Thanks for the follow up comments. I have spoken to my girl and I have some updates.

So, I spoke with her this morning. I started out by asking her how things have been going with the other guy, because I wanted to try to gauge where things might be at there to figure out how she might react to me trying to pull the plug on whatever they've got going on. She didn't elaborate much though, just said "um, it's good" and kinda got a goofy grin on her face. I told her that it seemed like she really liked him, but then she laughed and said that she didn't really and that he's actually a pretty major asshole. I suddenly felt a pretty big wave of relief wash over me when she said that. At that moment, I started to feel better emotionally and psychologically than I have in months. I was pretty surprised by the revelation though, so I asked her if that was really true and she told me "yeah, he's actually a dick, babe".

With that news, I told her what a relief that was to hear because I thought maybe she was starting to really like him, but I've actually been regretting the whole cuckold thing and I'm really keen to just go back to being exclusive with each other (I was certain to reassure her that it wasn't her fault and I didn't have any hard feelings towards her for what had happened, but that I had just come to realise that cuckolding really isn't for me).

After I stopped speaking, she just sat there completely silent for about 10-20 seconds, just kinda staring off into space, then she said that she thought I said I liked it though. I told her that I thought I liked it too, but that after actually giving it a proper try I've discovered that I actually don't really and I'd like to just go back to being monogamous (again, I assured her that it's definitely not her fault, I'm not mad, I still love her, I just made a mistake and I don't want to do the cuck thing anymore).

Again, she went silent for a while, then she asked what it was I didn't like about it. I told her that it made me feel way more jealous than I expected it was going to, so much so that I couldn't even enjoy it at all (again, I reassured her that it wasn't her fault that I felt this way, it was totally on me, I blame myself, and that I just don't want to not be exclusive anymore).

Again, she went quite for a bit, then she said that she thought I said I'd be able to handle it though. I told her that I thought I'd be able to when I said that, but that actually experiencing it was far more intense than I ever thought it would be and I've now learned that it's just not something I can deal with (again, I assured her that it was totally my fault for underestimating the intensity of jealousy I'd feel and for overestimating my ability to handle it).

She didn't go silent at all this time and immediately said "so what you're saying is that you can't handle it even though you told me you could?"

This time I went silent for a few seconds to process what she said, I realised that she was basically correct, and so I told her that I suppose that is what I'm saying. She just replied with kind of an annoyed grunt. I stayed silent for a few seconds, then I told her that I understand that I messed up, then she kinda cut me off and started saying that since I was the one who said I wanted this, that it's not fair for me to expect her to change on a dime just because I've changed my mind now. I asked her what she means by that exactly, and she told me that she means I can't expect her to swap from monogamous to cucking me and back to monogamous so quick just because I've changed my mind all of a sudden.

I asked if that meant that she still wanted to see the other guy, and she said that she did. I said that I thought she said he was an asshole though, and she said that he is an asshole. I asked her why she still wanted to see him then, and she just turned and looked at me like I was an idiot. I started to feel extremely anxious again at this point, I could feel myself getting hot behind the ears and getting that horrible tunnel vision panic kinda sensation happening. All I could say was "but you said he's an asshole though", to which she replied "babe..." in a condescending tone while still looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I asked her if she understands just how upset, anxious, jealous, and depressed it makes me to think of her meeting up and hooking up with this guy, and she told me that she's sorry about that and she knows that I know that I'm the one who fucked up, but that mistakes have consequences and that I'll just have to learnt to deal with it.

At that point, I'm ashamed to admit, but I basically just started literally pleading with her to please not see him again. She let me go on for a few minutes, then she got off the bed, got down on her knees in front of me, took my face in her hands, looked me in the eyes and told me that she knew how upset I was, that she was sorry I'm so affected by this, but that it's just not fair for me to ask her to change on whim, and that I'm going to have to just deal with the consequences of my mistake for a while.

She left the room for nearly half an hour at that point while I just sat there on the floor. Eventually she came back in and, in what sounded like a genuinely concerned tone, asked me if I was going to break up with her. I told her that I didn't want that, I still wanted to be with her, I just wish this whole thing hadn't happened. She told me she was glad, cause that would be really unfair for me to dump her over this. I agreed that that would be pretty unfair. After that she paused for a moment, then she told me that she was glad I still wanted to be with her. I told her that of course I did, I love her. She told me she loves me too and we had a big long cuddle sitting on the floor together in silence.

So I guess she's still going to be seeing this dickhead for at least a while, so I suppose I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with it at least a little better than I have been so far.

What are everyone's thoughts about this? Why do you think she still wants to keep seeing him if he is such an asshole? Is it just to teach me a lesson maybe? Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry if I prattled on a bit too much. Just a whole lot I've been trying to deal with here.

And therein lies one of the problems associated with this lifestyle. As I said earlier, in your case the sizzle was better than the steak. So how do you get the rabbet back in the hat. YOU CAN'T, only she can and she's not ready to do that. Why would she want an asshole in her life? She she started on a dime, why can't she stop on a dime? How are you gonna deal with it?

Perhaps the more you are involved the greater your comfort level until your full acceptance.

 

[Comegetthisdick]

And therein lies one of the problems associated with this lifestyle. As I said earlier, in your case the sizzle was better than the steak. So how do you get the rabbet back in the hat. YOU CAN'T, only she can and she's not ready to do that. Why would she want an asshole in her life? She she started on a dime, why can't she stop on a dime? How are you gonna deal with it?

Perhaps the more you are involved the greater your comfort level until your full acceptance.

Same thing happened with the couple I was with. We continue to see each other but he never would come with her. Like she told him you said you wanted this too. So why should she stop if he give her the green light.... That's why I tell people be sure it's a lifestyle you wanted.

 

[Talldarknight]

when s

Update

Hey everyone. Thanks for the follow up comments. I have spoken to my girl and I have some updates.

So, I spoke with her this morning. I started out by asking her how things have been going with the other guy, because I wanted to try to gauge where things might be at there to figure out how she might react to me trying to pull the plug on whatever they've got going on. She didn't elaborate much though, just said "um, it's good" and kinda got a goofy grin on her face. I told her that it seemed like she really liked him, but then she laughed and said that she didn't really and that he's actually a pretty major asshole. I suddenly felt a pretty big wave of relief wash over me when she said that. At that moment, I started to feel better emotionally and psychologically than I have in months. I was pretty surprised by the revelation though, so I asked her if that was really true and she told me "yeah, he's actually a dick, babe".

With that news, I told her what a relief that was to hear because I thought maybe she was starting to really like him, but I've actually been regretting the whole cuckold thing and I'm really keen to just go back to being exclusive with each other (I was certain to reassure her that it wasn't her fault and I didn't have any hard feelings towards her for what had happened, but that I had just come to realise that cuckolding really isn't for me).

After I stopped speaking, she just sat there completely silent for about 10-20 seconds, just kinda staring off into space, then she said that she thought I said I liked it though. I told her that I thought I liked it too, but that after actually giving it a proper try I've discovered that I actually don't really and I'd like to just go back to being monogamous (again, I assured her that it's definitely not her fault, I'm not mad, I still love her, I just made a mistake and I don't want to do the cuck thing anymore).

Again, she went silent for a while, then she asked what it was I didn't like about it. I told her that it made me feel way more jealous than I expected it was going to, so much so that I couldn't even enjoy it at all (again, I reassured her that it wasn't her fault that I felt this way, it was totally on me, I blame myself, and that I just don't want to not be exclusive anymore).

Again, she went quite for a bit, then she said that she thought I said I'd be able to handle it though. I told her that I thought I'd be able to when I said that, but that actually experiencing it was far more intense than I ever thought it would be and I've now learned that it's just not something I can deal with (again, I assured her that it was totally my fault for underestimating the intensity of jealousy I'd feel and for overestimating my ability to handle it).

She didn't go silent at all this time and immediately said "so what you're saying is that you can't handle it even though you told me you could?"

This time I went silent for a few seconds to process what she said, I realised that she was basically correct, and so I told her that I suppose that is what I'm saying. She just replied with kind of an annoyed grunt. I stayed silent for a few seconds, then I told her that I understand that I messed up, then she kinda cut me off and started saying that since I was the one who said I wanted this, that it's not fair for me to expect her to change on a dime just because I've changed my mind now. I asked her what she means by that exactly, and she told me that she means I can't expect her to swap from monogamous to cucking me and back to monogamous so quick just because I've changed my mind all of a sudden.

I asked if that meant that she still wanted to see the other guy, and she said that she did. I said that I thought she said he was an asshole though, and she said that he is an asshole. I asked her why she still wanted to see him then, and she just turned and looked at me like I was an idiot. I started to feel extremely anxious again at this point, I could feel myself getting hot behind the ears and getting that horrible tunnel vision panic kinda sensation happening. All I could say was "but you said he's an asshole though", to which she replied "babe..." in a condescending tone while still looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I asked her if she understands just how upset, anxious, jealous, and depressed it makes me to think of her meeting up and hooking up with this guy, and she told me that she's sorry about that and she knows that I know that I'm the one who fucked up, but that mistakes have consequences and that I'll just have to learnt to deal with it.

At that point, I'm ashamed to admit, but I basically just started literally pleading with her to please not see him again. She let me go on for a few minutes, then she got off the bed, got down on her knees in front of me, took my face in her hands, looked me in the eyes and told me that she knew how upset I was, that she was sorry I'm so affected by this, but that it's just not fair for me to ask her to change on whim, and that I'm going to have to just deal with the consequences of my mistake for a while.

She left the room for nearly half an hour at that point while I just sat there on the floor. Eventually she came back in and, in what sounded like a genuinely concerned tone, asked me if I was going to break up with her. I told her that I didn't want that, I still wanted to be with her, I just wish this whole thing hadn't happened. She told me she was glad, cause that would be really unfair for me to dump her over this. I agreed that that would be pretty unfair. After that she paused for a moment, then she told me that she was glad I still wanted to be with her. I told her that of course I did, I love her. She told me she loves me too and we had a big long cuddle sitting on the floor together in silence.

So I guess she's still going to be seeing this dickhead for at least a while, so I suppose I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with it at least a little better than I have been so far.

What are everyone's thoughts about this? Why do you think she still wants to keep seeing him if he is such an asshole? Is it just to teach me a lesson maybe? Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry if I prattled on a bit too much. Just a whole lot I've been trying to deal with here.
[/Q

Update

Hey everyone. Thanks for the follow up comments. I have spoken to my girl and I have some updates.

So, I spoke with her this morning. I started out by asking her how things have been going with the other guy, because I wanted to try to gauge where things might be at there to figure out how she might react to me trying to pull the plug on whatever they've got going on. She didn't elaborate much though, just said "um, it's good" and kinda got a goofy grin on her face. I told her that it seemed like she really liked him, but then she laughed and said that she didn't really and that he's actually a pretty major asshole. I suddenly felt a pretty big wave of relief wash over me when she said that. At that moment, I started to feel better emotionally and psychologically than I have in months. I was pretty surprised by the revelation though, so I asked her if that was really true and she told me "yeah, he's actually a dick, babe".

With that news, I told her what a relief that was to hear because I thought maybe she was starting to really like him, but I've actually been regretting the whole cuckold thing and I'm really keen to just go back to being exclusive with each other (I was certain to reassure her that it wasn't her fault and I didn't have any hard feelings towards her for what had happened, but that I had just come to realise that cuckolding really isn't for me).

After I stopped speaking, she just sat there completely silent for about 10-20 seconds, just kinda staring off into space, then she said that she thought I said I liked it though. I told her that I thought I liked it too, but that after actually giving it a proper try I've discovered that I actually don't really and I'd like to just go back to being monogamous (again, I assured her that it's definitely not her fault, I'm not mad, I still love her, I just made a mistake and I don't want to do the cuck thing anymore).

Again, she went silent for a while, then she asked what it was I didn't like about it. I told her that it made me feel way more jealous than I expected it was going to, so much so that I couldn't even enjoy it at all (again, I reassured her that it wasn't her fault that I felt this way, it was totally on me, I blame myself, and that I just don't want to not be exclusive anymore).

Again, she went quite for a bit, then she said that she thought I said I'd be able to handle it though. I told her that I thought I'd be able to when I said that, but that actually experiencing it was far more intense than I ever thought it would be and I've now learned that it's just not something I can deal with (again, I assured her that it was totally my fault for underestimating the intensity of jealousy I'd feel and for overestimating my ability to handle it).

She didn't go silent at all this time and immediately said "so what you're saying is that you can't handle it even though you told me you could?"

This time I went silent for a few seconds to process what she said, I realised that she was basically correct, and so I told her that I suppose that is what I'm saying. She just replied with kind of an annoyed grunt. I stayed silent for a few seconds, then I told her that I understand that I messed up, then she kinda cut me off and started saying that since I was the one who said I wanted this, that it's not fair for me to expect her to change on a dime just because I've changed my mind now. I asked her what she means by that exactly, and she told me that she means I can't expect her to swap from monogamous to cucking me and back to monogamous so quick just because I've changed my mind all of a sudden.

I asked if that meant that she still wanted to see the other guy, and she said that she did. I said that I thought she said he was an asshole though, and she said that he is an asshole. I asked her why she still wanted to see him then, and she just turned and looked at me like I was an idiot. I started to feel extremely anxious again at this point, I could feel myself getting hot behind the ears and getting that horrible tunnel vision panic kinda sensation happening. All I could say was "but you said he's an asshole though", to which she replied "babe..." in a condescending tone while still looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I asked her if she understands just how upset, anxious, jealous, and depressed it makes me to think of her meeting up and hooking up with this guy, and she told me that she's sorry about that and she knows that I know that I'm the one who fucked up, but that mistakes have consequences and that I'll just have to learnt to deal with it.

At that point, I'm ashamed to admit, but I basically just started literally pleading with her to please not see him again. She let me go on for a few minutes, then she got off the bed, got down on her knees in front of me, took my face in her hands, looked me in the eyes and told me that she knew how upset I was, that she was sorry I'm so affected by this, but that it's just not fair for me to ask her to change on whim, and that I'm going to have to just deal with the consequences of my mistake for a while.

She left the room for nearly half an hour at that point while I just sat there on the floor. Eventually she came back in and, in what sounded like a genuinely concerned tone, asked me if I was going to break up with her. I told her that I didn't want that, I still wanted to be with her, I just wish this whole thing hadn't happened. She told me she was glad, cause that would be really unfair for me to dump her over this. I agreed that that would be pretty unfair. After that she paused for a moment, then she told me that she was glad I still wanted to be with her. I told her that of course I did, I love her. She told me she loves me too and we had a big long cuddle sitting on the floor together in silence.

So I guess she's still going to be seeing this dickhead for at least a while, so I suppose I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with it at least a little better than I have been so far.

What are everyone's thoughts about this? Why do you think she still wants to keep seeing him if he is such an asshole? Is it just to teach me a lesson maybe? Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry if I prattled on a bit too much. Just a whole lot I've been trying to deal with here.

OP, when she says “he’s such an asshole” your mind needs to translate her words correctly - she means “he’s a sexy alpha male who kinda doesn’t give a shit about me even though I’m hot, which really turns me on”. It pays to watch what she does, not just what she says. In a way she is trying to teach you a lesson or two, one of which is that he is the alpha male to her and that’s why she definitely wants to (and will) keep fucking him. The other lesson is that an important alpha trait is owning your decisions, which she wants to teach you in what feels to you like a most humiliating way. “This was your idea, now deal with it” - it’s straight off a cuckold meme! You are already her cuckold and she is now in charge, and it it’s clear you’re not going to break up with her. For that reason you need to accept your new role as her beta cuckold and start enjoying it without complaining, otherwise there’s a risk she will leave you. The good news is that she wants to keep your relationship and she also likes cucking you, so you can take a ride that many guys dream of. You just need to commit to her sexual freedom and focus on her pleasure.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Update: Hey everyone. Thanks for the follow up comments. I have spoken to my girl and I have some updates.

You're welcome. And, that's good. It sounds like you and your woman engaged in some real communication, even though, from your point of view, the outcome is not yet satisfactory — and it's not yet satisfactory from her point of view, either.

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

Your woman made it clear she doesn't want to leave you for her lover, so that's positive. You made it clear to her you don't want to end your relationship with her, so that's also positive. Basically, what you need to do is come to terms with your preoccupation with jealousy. That probably isn't impossible.

Why do you think she still wants to keep seeing him [her lover], if he is such an asshole?

It's not unusual for a woman to find herself strongly attracted to men who seem strong and confident, in a physical and interpersonal sense — who are "alpha males," as they're called — and who also treat the woman badly; i.e., disrectfully and even somewhat contemptuously — but are also sexually very satisfying, due to some combination of cock size, sexual endurance, physique, self-confidence, etc.

It is also not unusual for such a woman to not want to marry or live with her "strong and sexy alpha lover," because.... as your woman pointed out to you.... he's also an asshole. Rather, she wants to marry or establish a live-together-relationship (LTR) with a man she knows will treat her and her children well and be a reliable source of income and related support.... i.e., provide her and her children with good socio-economic status... (and, preferably, not object too strongly if she takes lovers).... even if he doesn't turn her on all that strongly in bed. In this case — although you haven't said anything about the extent you're established and relatively well-off in a socio-economic sense — that appears to be you.

Is it just to teach me a lesson maybe?

,
No. See above. And, your woman has a good point.... actually, a very good point.... in resenting you encouraging her to take a lover (which she has found satisfying), but now insisting you want her to be monogamous with you.

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

I suggest bringing yourself to recognize that your feelings of jealousy stem — more than likely— from an inner inability to free yourself from the ancient (but still enduring) judeochristian tradition that a woman should be the "property" of, and as such exclusively faithful to, her man. Try to bring yourself to recognize that your woman is not your "property" (like, e.g., your house or your refrigerator), but rather is an individual human being in her own right with her own needs, including sexual and psychological needs that extend beyond her regular partner (you).

To increase your appreciation, familiarity and comfort with the concept of hotwife / cuckold husband relationships, and with women fairly often having stronger sex-drives and certainly greater orgasmic capacity than their husbands, I suggest reading:

http://hotwifeletters.com/

and:

Ley, David J., 2009, Insatiable Wives: Women who stray and the men who love them (Roman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 291 pp. [hardcomer]).

 

[RockHER]

Maybe she is harboring resentment & trying to punish you. Sure this was your idea, but she willingly jumped into it with you. Youre not the only guilty party here.
Regardless of how this situation evolved, today your emotions are not compatible with hers. Relationships change, needs change, attitudes change. This is why couples split. If she cant find it within herself to be the partner that you want, and you cant accept the new her-you have two painful options. Fish or cut bait. Stay or separate.

 

[Keesnl]

Few years ago i dated a couple a few times, was there first bull so it was all new and exciting to them. Like Charlie said the idea of seeing a guy really almost using his wife was intense and something he more and more wanted, she at first said no but after a longer period of time was also growing in her wanting to maybe try.
First night was exactly what he wanted it to be and she later told him it felt uncomfortable at first but after some wines she found she was into me and decided to let it all just happen.

So few weeks later we met again and it started real nice, like the first night, but biggest difference was her now being relaxed. First orgasm just a few minutes after a massage and oral, later a few while having sex. At that point it looked like he had a issue with her cumming more and faster then when having sex with him. Was also exciting for him he said, but mentioned it a few times.
Third and last time i visited she kept in touch with naughty mail/texting and some pictures, so one night i joked how hot she looked and i wanted to do her so hard. She kept asking what and how, anal sex turned up and she said she and her husband had tried but she wasn't relaxed enough to enjoy. Gave some reasons why with them it wasn't a success. Next night she texted she had a dream of me doing her hard and even anal fucking, told her with good preparation and lube i never had a girl/women who hated doing anal.

Few days later he called and wanted to know if i was in the mood to come visit them. So after some foreplay and sucking i saw she had set some lube on the table next to the bed. At first he was all excited i was lubing and stretching her fucking but this soon changed. She looked into it and ready so when she was relaxed enough i had hardly any problem sliding into her. At the point she said this felt hot and intense after being a bit strange and uncomfortable at first, his mood looked like it was changing. He left and told us he would see us later downstairs. We were both at a point of almost cumming so we continued. When saying goodbye he was even almost a bit rude.

Next day she texted he made nasty comments at her and he was frustrated and jealous about her enjoying it so much. Even said "with me you're never into anal and now you let a strange guy fuck your ass"
So his fantasy also didn't work out.