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How Much Control Do You Have?

Conflicted

Conflicted

New around here...
Beloved Member
My fiancé and I are fairly new to this. So far, she's hooked up with a friend of mine a handful of times. She's getting frustrated by working around my schedule to meet up with him and told me today she wants more freedom to play in her own or choose guys as she sees fit.

How much control do you husbands have on the frequency and partners of your wives?
 
I have followed your adventure with your fiancee on your earlier post. I have to congratulate you on the best post on this site where you shared the text messages she was exchanging with her boytoy.
As for the amount of control for us it is a lot of control. It goes both ways also. We say it is OUR adventure, not just a one-sided affair. It seems sometimes one of us is too close to the forest to see the trees so we depend on the other to be the voice of reason. Maybe you two will be different but this is our story.
 
It is up to you as a couple to define the boundaries and to then modify them together over time.

However a number of cuckold couples are also Dom/sub couples and in that case it is more up to the Dom.

In your case as a "new to this couple" you agreed fairly strict boundaries that she has already pushed (fucking him, but not telling you till afterwards), so I suggest that together you need to have another conversation to either move the boundaries or to agree that they stay where they are, but you will probably need a good explanation that she can understand of why you don't want her going to his place
 
Make no mistake, a woman ALWAYS controls her pussy. They will give it to who they want and when they want.
Of course, there's exceptions to every rule. A woman can be so submissive she lets others control her pussy, literally being a *****, as an example. Fairly extreme, sure, but not nearly as common as a typical girlfriend/wife.

In any case, I think you better decide if you can live with her having sexual freedom. If she hasn't already worked in private time with her lover, she soon will, so it's better to prepare yourself for that. I don't intend any disrespect to your fiance'; it's more of a 'nature of the beast' thing.
If she will TRULY abide by rules you two may have established, I'd hope a compromise of some sort can be reached.
Best wishes!
 
stulsdnaylop said:
I have followed your adventure with your fiancee on your earlier post. I have to congratulate you on the best post on this site where you shared the text messages she was exchanging with her boytoy.
As for the amount of control for us it is a lot of control. It goes both ways also. We say it is OUR adventure, not just a one-sided affair. It seems sometimes one of us is too close to the forest to see the trees so we depend on the other to be the voice of reason. Maybe you two will be different but this is our story.
Click to expand...
Wow thank you. I really appreciate that.
 
Conflicted said:
My fiancé and I are fairly new to this. So far, she's hooked up with a friend of mine a handful of times. She's getting frustrated by working around my schedule to meet up with him and told me today she wants more freedom to play in her own or choose guys as she sees fit.

How much control do you husbands have on the frequency and partners of your wives?
Click to expand...

I personally think that these should be something that everyone needs to agree. Cuckolding lifestyle is not something where anyone should suffer.
 
In our relationship I have zero control of my wife’s choices. It is her body to use as she chooses. She alone controls what I know. There are times she is very open about who she sees and what she does. Other times she is much more private. She gave me the choice to stay or go. Her two basic rules are 1. Her pleasure was non of my business. She will share what and when it suits her.
2. I will not complain.
3. I will NOT see anyone else.
 
Early on we tried to plan together - but over the years - well lets just say that over time, it becomes more difficult to do so.
 
To me this doesn't sound like a cuckcold relationship or she even being a hotwife. She is just fucking around like many other single ladies. She can do that totally without you in the picture. If all you have posted is real, I feel bad for you. Just divorce her ass and if you are really into cuckolding find a lady who in a real hotwife and includes you in the joy of finding playmates together with you and including you in the lifestyle. The lifestyle is about having a playmate to spice up you guys sexual life and not about your wife fucking around.
 
Conflicted said:
My fiancé and I are fairly new to this. So far, she's hooked up with a friend of mine a handful of times. She's getting frustrated by working around my schedule to meet up with him and told me today she wants more freedom to play in her own or choose guys as she sees fit.

How much control do you husbands have on the frequency and partners of your wives?
Click to expand...
I had a feeling she would want that. The question is did you get hard when she tld you
 
stulsdnaylop said:
I have followed your adventure with your fiancee on your earlier post. I have to congratulate you on the best post on this site where you shared the text messages she was exchanging with her boytoy.
As for the amount of control for us it is a lot of control. It goes both ways also. We say it is OUR adventure, not just a one-sided affair. It seems sometimes one of us is too close to the forest to see the trees so we depend on the other to be the voice of reason. Maybe you two will be different but this is our story.
Click to expand...

I think there's a lot of merit in this right here and indeed this is how we roll too. Yes we do a hell of a lot of edgy talk about all kinds of elements to all this. However where the men are concerned we decided very early on (and fortunately still very much agree) that OUR relationship is primary and the most important above all .Yes we can do very dirty things but this is always about US, not just her nor just I. For us it is only rewarding and fun when it's built around mutually meeting each other's needs and not just one versus the other. We also have an immediate cease and desist order...in that if it skews too far to it being about one person only, either of us can pull the plug for any reason, no questions asked. We have these things in place because it can all get away from you so quickly and if you asked the divorcees here, they'd probably agree. Fun is meant to be fun, and mutually enjoyed.
 
Twalter said:
In our relationship I have zero control of my wife’s choices. It is her body to use as she chooses. She alone controls what I know. There are times she is very open about who she sees and what she does. Other times she is much more private. She gave me the choice to stay or go. Her two basic rules are 1. Her pleasure was non of my business. She will share what and when it suits her.
2. I will not complain.
3. I will NOT see anyone else.
Click to expand...

pretty much the same way here and i feel its the best for us
 
Sounds like OP is in more of a slutwife situation. She just wants to get fucked anyway she can, when she needs it...OP wants to be part of things, but she doesn't care either way as long as shes getting fucked.
I think rather than what other couples are doing, which may have different dynamics, you 2 should be making sure youre on the same page with why youre doing this and what each of you are getting out of it.
 
I have no control at all and I’m ok with that, my wife plays and mostly with men I know( friends of mine) they have more control than I do , she and they control what goes on
 
Conflicted said:
My fiancé and I are fairly new to this. So far, she's hooked up with a friend of mine a handful of times. She's getting frustrated by working around my schedule to meet up with him and told me today she wants more freedom to play in her own or choose guys as she sees fit.

How much control do you husbands have on the frequency and partners of your wives?
Click to expand...
For us, I was present for her first time with any new guy for the first 6 months. Second (or subsequent) meetings could be with her solo if I wasn't available at her discretion. After we got going, and she built up some confidence, there was no holding her back.
 
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