An indirect answer...
Hi Ms. Victoria,
Regarding your question:
Victoria said:
I'm wondering.. do any of you step out on your wives?
Rather than answer your question, I'll comment indirectly.
Men who are "cuckolds," it seems, tend not to "step out" on their wives but rather tend to accept, for one reason or another, that it is the privilege and prerogative of their wife to date and fuck other men while they remain faithful to her as her cuckold.
An exception, of course, would be those couples who consider themselves "swingers;" that is, they agree both have the right to date and sleep with others and neither objects to that. Those with "cuckold husband / hotwife" marriages apparently often start out in this way. Their marriages evolve to the wife only dating and fucking other men as she pleases, because... well... a married woman who wants to fuck available "other" men gives rise to considerably more excitement than a married man who wants to fuck available "other" women. The latter seems... well... more like "business as usual," with no particular advantage to unattached women.
Couples in "swinger" marriages have a tendency to become competitive with respect to who can attract and bed more members of the opposite sex. The woman almost always wins — indeed, is virtually guaranteed to win — this competition, which can then cause the marriage to turn out badly. Hence, if both wish to preserve their marriage, it tends to evolve into "cuckold husband / hotwife" form.
Someone posted on this subject quite a while ago. Unfortunately I neglected to record the author's screen name and the date. It seems interesting and relevant, though, so I'll re-post his contribution here attributing it to "Anon." I've cleaned up the spelling and grammar; otherwise the following is as it originally appeared.
—Custer
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A Cuckold’s Progression.
I have been married three times during the past 40 years. All of my wives have cuckolded me, including my wife of the past 25 years. Many cuckold relationships start like ours and reach the same forks-in-the-road, with differing outcomes.
It usually starts when a married couple decide to “push the boundaries” of their relationships with others and with sex. The husband is usually the instigator. With some effort, he convinces his wife to dress somewhat more provocatively and perhaps do some flirting. It usually doesn’t stay at flirting long before one or both partners want to up the ante.
The first decision is, will this involve both the husband and wife or only the wife? Those who desire the former usually go into swinging. Those who desire the latter usually move directly toward cuckolding. (In my cases, it always started with swinging.) As time passes, the wife almost always attracts more attention than her husband. Wives can almost always draw more, younger and better-looking men because there are significantly fewer women than men willing to pursue adultery. If a married woman likes that form of attention, as have my three wives, she will wish to go to bed with many of these good-looking young men even if they don’t provide women for her husband to swing with.
This leads to the next negotiation. The wife agrees to go on a swinging date with her husband, if she can have a date with one of the men who are pursuing her. Her husband, having initiated this and encouraged her, says “yes.”
Next to be decided is, how much involvement will her husband have in her dates? Will they always be threesomes? Can she go alone sometimes? Always? Never…?
Regardless of their agreement, the wife can always change it because, as her husband is now beginning to realize, she holds all the power in this situation. Soon she will want two and then three dates for each swinging engagement because—as she will point out—she only swings “to keep him happy.” She does not want other women bedding her husband, but allows it “for him.”
Before long, she informs him she “really wants to go on some or all of her dates alone, or she just can’t see how she can keep swinging.”
After a while there is no more swinging, and the wife goes on dates when she pleases. The agreed-upon length of her dates soon changes as well. In my case, it went from evenings to overnights to a week at ….vacation spot…. with her lover. (She couldn’t find time to go there with me this year.)
Her husband soon realizes that all other agreed-upon rules are also subject to change. For instance, it was “condoms only” in the beginning when each of my three wives began taking lovers. This lasts until the wife finds a lover she really likes, so she wants to go bareback with him. In my case, my wives decided to take black lovers exclusively…. and did not want to disrespect them by asking them to use condoms, which “black men don’t like.”
Her husband agrees, because by now he suspects she will do it anyway and he has lost the nerve to challenge her.
This is a big step for him toward self-acknowledgment of his status as his wife’s cuckold, because there is a large difference between another man having sexual relations with his wife and actually ejaculating inside her. In all societies, this act is a very strong mark of possession by the other man. The thought of his wife’s lover mixing his DNA with hers is very sobering, even if he doesn’t think she can get pregnant. Her desire to have the seed of another man inside her is sufficient to let her husband know where he stands.
If the husband is ever intimate with another woman, must he wear a condom? His wife makes it clear that he must. He won’t challenge this request either because, well, it probably won’t happen anyway.
One night the gradual shift of power from husband to wife accelerates when she informs him that, “Sweetheart, just for fun, for a little while, I want you to wear condoms.” She explains she wants to experience “what it would be like” to have ONLY her lover’s semen and sperm inside her. Her husband, whose response pattern is now established, agrees.
A few years later, the wife decides she will allow her husband inside her bareback if he will get a vasectomy. “We have our children anyway,” she points out to him. This happened to me three years ago. Five months ago, my wife informed me she was going to “settle down” and see only four lovers regularly (two middle-aged black men who are brothers and the two sons of one of them), because that will be “safer.” Four months ago, she informed me she was going off her birth control pills because they are unsafe at her age, and because, at 45, she can’t get pregnant anyway. But, since she went off the pill, conversations among her and her lovers have mostly been about “knocking her up.” To me she says things like, “you can shoot blanks in me if you want, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter.”
I must love this stuff, right? I've done it three times!
—Anon
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