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IR Encounters: Should You Let Hubby Watch?

  • Thread starterSandyWho
  • Start date


Not quite a lurker
Beloved Member
May 4, 2004
Hi, my husband and I are new to this lifestyle and very very inexperienced.

My husband has asked me to post and obtain some feedback from your or other members on what kind of sexual activities I can do with a black lover.

4. Should I let my hub watch?

This is a really personal choice but I don't think you should, or at least not for the first few times. Sorry guys, but this is about us, our bodies, our lovers not yours. You can get involved once we are sure you are ok with the whole black thing and once we have learned how to handle this new experience ourselves. I may not be the best person to get advice from about this because I never involved my hubby and would never think of having him watch me.

All I know is that when I am with my lover I want him to know that I am all his. While I am with him, he is the only man I care about and the way I dress or the way we make love is designed to please him alone. I guess there are lots of women who are ok with sharing with hubby but I am not one of them.

But as I said, this is a personal issue so lets hear from some others posters on the Forum.
Should You Let Hubby Watch?

Hi Sandy:
In my opinon I would think you have a valid point. Most men can't handle seeing their wife with other men. Unless this husband has entertained the thoughts for some time. Secondly how does your lover feel sharing the love session. Most lovers aren't going to open to it in the beginning either, wondering if the husband is gay or jealous enough to cause a problem once the two lovers get started.
the Shark :wink:
Hi Shark!

That is exactly my point! I mean, I really do not know how hubby would react if he saw me enjoying another man and there is no way I could ever get to the big O if I am worrying about what he is doing or thinking.

Some men brag about being able to make me forget that hubby is even in the same room. That would be marvelous for me but could they really be sure that he is not going to freak out? I would think it would have to affect... um, performance.
I think the whole "Can he handle it?" thing is kind of funny. I have known quite a few women who had been invited into 3somes by other women who were married. I always got the feeling that the 3some was the husband's idea. We all know lots of men want to have 2 women at the same time. I think in most of these cases the wife was going along with it just to make hubby happy. I always wondered what these same guys would do if wifey suggested bringing another MAN home. LOL.

Yo Rob....its just a computer. It wont bite. Start out slow and work your way up.

Lots of men have a fantasy to see their wife having sex with another man. Just good old erotic role playing is fun but going from playing the cuckcold to being one is something else. Sure, if it is done together it is not like your cheating but I understand it can be an emotional moment when he realizes that other men can have his wife. A few of the women I have talked to say hubby's reaction will go from mind blowing sexual excitement to recrimination that it ever happened.
Letting Husband Watch

Hi Sandy,

I am a white man who has a wife who wont play...BUT someday I will have the right wife eventually...

I for one....want a wife who dates black men...and I totally believe that I would want her to have her alone time with her lover whenever they desired such. I agree completely with what you have to say. Ideally though there would eventually be times when I would want to see him pleasing her in ways that I never could....to me...it would reaffirm my position in the relationship and also provide a forum for the black man to assert his superior love making skills with me nervously watching. The IN YOUR FACE portion of this would be very hot I believe for all parties...

I DO feel that you are correct about the dedicated alone time between the wife and her lover for sure though....and to me the devoted husband....knowing that she is out for the evening or night with him is part of the feeling that I need. When she comes home...the house is clean, the dishes and laundry done...and with a quick call on her way home the hot bubble bath and glass of wine are waiting for her as well......

Thats how I see things being in the ideal relationship.

Just my thoughts....

Oh my GOD, do you know how to program VCRs and do windows too? Quick, move to Las Vegas! No, just kidding... (well, ok so maybe not completely).

But seriously Mr. Dog ( or should I call you Saftey), I am not sure I would be quick to let a woman know of your desires. You need to have strong relationship first, built on mutal trust, and, I hope, ... love, before getting too far into the Sub/Dom scene. I am not an expert in this area so I can only give you my perspective and experience. Maybe others will read this and post their own thoughts.

Not sure what the situation is with your wife but at one time you had that trusting relationship. Probably the worst thing you could do is to force her into sexual relationships she does not want to have. You will loose her if you do and it could be very bitter for both of you. Now if you are convinced that your sexual needs go beyond fantasy and you want to enter this lifestyle, then it probably is best you go your seperate ways.

As to finding a woman with whom you can bond, you should proceed with caution. Putting your heart out for everyone to see is usually a big turn off for women. Women want to control men but we don't want it to be too easy.
I not only let my husband watch but it is a real turn on for me knowing he is seeing how much I love having someone new. With most of my lovers I have found that it is also a turn on for them knowing my husband is watching and seeing how much they are turning me on. I think they like showing my husband that what I really need is their BBC.
Having husband there

I love having my husband watch while my Black Lover uses me at his will. My Lover Mac and my husband are very good friends and have been for years. I have the best of two men in my world. My husband and I started sharing my body and sexual favors seventeen years ago atleast two or three times a week. I truly love both of them.
I'm a married black man with an average dick size (7") and thick. I located a brother here in the Maryland area with a 10" very thick dick. The purpose was two fold: 1. To see if the Big dick would take my wife to another level during sex. 2. To address my desires to watch.

If a man is aware of who he is, and what he enjoys, and is not insecure about himself, then he can experience very high levels of sexual enjoyment (physical and mental). You have to have a certain outlook about sex.

The brother that I arranged for her to meet at out house fucked the hell out of her. she moaned, screamed, and made sounds I never heard from her before. I could hear that she loved it, and I could she that she loved it.
I mean this brother has a serious dick, and he took control of her body. She did admit that she had never been fucked like that before.

She only likes to fuck other men if I'm in the room or in the house. Thats her choice. However, if your a married man who decides to ****** your wife to this level of fucking you must be ready for anything that can happen.

What can happen depends on the type person your wife is. All women are different. Some women are addictive, meaning that after they're fucked like that the first time they can't get enough. Since you the husband ******* your wife to this you should be willing to allow her to fuck the big dick everyday if she desires. Some women will always like it after the first time, but only need it once weekly or a few times a month. One thing is certain, that Big Dick brings out a different response from your lady. There is nothing you can do about that unless you can grow a few more inches, so you might as well enjoy it.
nicedicki said:
... If a man is aware of who he is, and what he enjoys, and is not insecure about himself, then he can experience very high levels of sexual enjoyment (physical and mental). You have to have a certain outlook about sex.

...However, if your a married man who decides to ****** your wife to this level of fucking you must be ready for anything that can happen.

Wow! You are my kind of guy! It is so rare to find a man who truly is willing to have a shared sexual relationship. I think that the majority of men may like the fantasy but when it comes to reality they are not as confident of themselves.

Your wife is lucky and you are too.
summerwhore said:
... So for us, we like to play together!

T & S

Another great relationship!
Glad to hear that there are a few Black Dudes out there that like to watch their wives being sluts! I knew it wasn't just white guys that were aware of this natural element of the female sex drive. It has to be common in all races of the female gender, you would think? Hats off to you ND, for speaking the truth!
ptrose. That is a very sexy story about your two lovers being good friends. You must be a very fullfilled Lady! Its interesting to know that those kinds of situations can last for long periods of time. :)
My hubby and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. I've been having sex with black men in the open now for about 2 years.

When my hubby knows that I'm out with a black lover on the date or whatever, and he's waiting for me at home, he gets intensely jealous, not so much in the typical possessive way, but more and an anxious way, wondering and wanting to know where I am and what I'm doing. It drives him crazy to know that I'm out getting fucked by another man. He will basically pace the house for hours and masterbate a half dozen times until I get home. And no matter what time I get home, he's always up waiting for me.

If it were up to my hubby, as far as he tells me, he would always want to be there to watch. He has several times, and loves it. He says that the jealous anxiety is much lessened that way. He also enjoys taking me after I've been fucked by another man. I love to make him go down on me first, teasing him about how he has to clean me up first if he wants to put his little white boy penis in me.

But most black men don't really like the idea of having my hubby there. They pretty much want me all to themselves. And like somebody else said in this post, I want to be all his, I want to give myself to him totally. I want my lover to feel uninhibited, I want him to fuck me with total abandon. I want him to be crazy and nasty and wild. I just want to be his little white bitch for the night.

And so one kind of compromise that we have done several times is arranged it so that my hubby can watch us from a distance or hidden somewhere without my lover knowing that he's watching. We have a great balcony off our master bedroom, with french doors opening up to it, which makes it a perfect place for my hubby to hear and watch. I used to feel very comfortable doing this, the dishonesty of it, the fear of getting caught, and I gues the distraction of it, but actually after doing it several times I now find it very erotic and enjoy it. It gives me a delicous opportunity to "perform" for my hubby.

Another thing that we've done, twice now, is I've gone out with a black lover who agreed to make a videotape of us having sex (camera on a tripod most of the time), and then I mailed the videotape to my hubby at his office a few weeks later. So so naughty! The first time I did it, he was going absolutely crazy at work, desperate to get home so that he could watch the tape!

Wow! You are tons braver than I am! I am not into letting hubby know about my affairs but I have often had a fantasy of men watching me with my lovers through an open window. I doubt I could do it because I would be so distracted by it but it really can be exciting. About the closest I have ever been has at a hotel, keeping open the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony. No one could look in but I know that the sounds of our love making must have been heard all the way down to the swiming pool. Afterwards, I went out on the balcony just to see if anyone was looking. It was dark so I was never really sure but knowing I was showing off my naked, freshly fucked body was a totally erotic experience. My lover pulled me back inside and we started all over again.
Well, I wasn't always so brave. I've been having sex with black men out in the open for about 2 years now, but my hubby and I have been together for about 8 years, and I must confess that I was having sex with black men (occasionally with old boyfriends but most of them new guys) pretty much the whole time. My hubby just didn't know it. I'm still amazed that I got away with it for so long. But there were a lot of close calls. Part of me was terrified of him finding out, but in a way another part of me wanted him to know so that it would finally be out in the open. Sometimes I would feel guilty and scared and would stop for a while. Then I would get a call from a guy wanting to see me and I just couldn't help it.

My hubby eventually did find out about my little secret when a friend of his told him that he had seen me dancing with a black guy at a club when my hubby was out of town. I found out about this much later, but what my hubby did after that was basically follow me, hire someone to have me followed, and the whole thing. Like I said, I only found this out much later, when he told me, but he was doing things like checking out my panties in the dirty clothes pile, my cell phone records, put a recorder on our home phone, he would sneak out of the house when I was asleep and check my car, and things like that. One night I got home really late, having told him that I was out with a girlfriend. Actually, I was out with another guy. When I got home I took a quick shower like I sometimes do. My hubby was fast asleep so I didn't really think much of it. But while I was in the shower, my hubby got up and checked my panties on the floor and it was pretty obvious that they were soaked with semen. He said they were still wet and that the strong smell of cum was obvious. But still, he didn't actually confront me until about a week later, but that's a whole other story!
Sex Is Universal, Some Brothers Like to watch It Too

I read the comments about black men watching their women fuck. If a man enjoys watching porn movies, he will enjoy live sex even more. Many men, as well as black men experience a bit of insecure feeling when they see another mans larger dick. We all feel a little envious about how our women responds to that big dick. However, if you really enjoy sex, the power of the sound and the sight of him fucking her over shadows any insecure feeling your having. I enjoy fucking my wife very much, but I get a different very intense sexual experience when I'm watching her fuck a brother with a big dick. This provides more of a mental and emotional sexual satisfaction.

It was my idea that me and my wife try this. If you start this out as a sexual exprience for the two of you as a couple it works out better. If it's understood that you will be there in the room from the start, she and her lover will accept that. Believe it or not there will be many times when you are not in the mood, so you let them fuck one-on-one in private somewhere in the house. As a married man I would not want my wife seen in public with other men. I'm a business man and people know us. However, she relies on me to meet and introduce the men that fuck her. I always make sure they are mature, and someone we can trust. And of course, the dick has to be at least 9". Over time we found the right guy and he is 10". We are close friends. He is allowed to come over and fuck her when ever he likes as long as she is in the mood. I'm free to watch anytime I wish. But again, after a while you get used to it, so I only watch when I'm in the mood.

My point is this, ladies don't get uptight if your husband likes to watch. If your lover is turniing you out while your husband is watching, don't hold back. Don't be shy about letting your emotions show via your sounds and moans. Don't be shy about looking your husband in the face while the dick is in you, and telling him how good the dick is, and thanking him for the gift of brining it to you. Your husband needs to know and understand that he is not on the same level as the new guy when it comes to fucking. Never tell him that, but show him based on your response to this big black dick. Your response is a reponse that your husband has never heard. Based on your response to this new dick, your husband will have feelings that he may not be able to deny you access to this level of pleasure. So let him watch, and let it sink in.

Be sure that you and your husband stick together on any rules you make with your lover about access to the pussy, frequency, etc... When your lover sees that the two of you agree on these points he will cooperate. When your husband sees you keep these rules in spite of the intense sex you have received, it will cause your husband to trust your lover much easier. The best way for you ladies to ease any insecure feelings your man is having is with trust. trust will help him deal with your physical and emotional response to this new black man in your life who is rocking your world like never before, while your husband is in the room watching. So work with your husband to manage your lover to build the trust.

Your husband will go through an addictive phase where he can't get enough of watching you fuck. It's important for you to reconize when he's going through this phase. Make sure you take advantage of it because it allows this new arrangement to become more common to him over a short period of time, and decreases any insecure feelings even more. When your with your lover encourage him to communicate with your husband, and when your with your husband let him know how much you appreciate the arrangement. Never mention any emotional feelings you may have for your lover, and always keep comments to a friend and fuck outlook as it relates to your lover. We all know that at this point your lover more then often has turned you out, and your craving big black dick like never before. However, continue to play it cool and gain your husbands trust in this area because its trust that will open the door to you getting more of this dick on a regular basis, and thats your goal.

Once your husband trust you and your lover in this arrangement, You will have more fuck time then you can handle, and most of the time he may not be in the mood to watch because it is common to him.
Should hubby watch

Everybody is different, one mans meat etc... My husband is extremely turned on watching me with my black lover and I am turned on knowing he's watching. He and hubby are friends, maybe that has someting to do with it, we have been married 11yrs and have been seeing my black friend for about 4yrs, he has a permanent invitation to call whenever he wants and has stayed the night sometimes. Hubby and I are still as attached to each other as much as ever, we both love sex, this is just another level.

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