So, I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Early on I gradually brought up my hotwife/cuckold fantasies to her. She responded well and eventually became an open book with regards talking about her sex life before me. Through the years I have learned that she has had 70+ lovers. She is a very hot woman with a curvy body, beautiful face, and has a sexual aura about her. Men are attracted to her wherever we go, and end up hitting on her. She loves the attention. We have never acted on the cuckold fantasy because the situation never presented itself. The right guy, the right place (would have to be outside the city we live/work), etc. have never come together and we have never pushed the issue. Most of the fantasy has been focused on what she did before me. After a lot of coaxing for details, I was able to learn that I ranked in the middle to bottom third of dick sizes. Her biggest lover was about 9 inches and twice as thick as me. He fucked her on two occasions and he was by far her best she says. One time she even admitted that I could not hold a candle to him in bed ... longer dick, thicker dick, bigger balls, came more, could fuck much longer, and could fuck repeatedly in a night. He made her cum more as well ... 12-20 in one night (my record with her is 3). I love to hear about all of this and it has been a huge turn on. She will also tell me when she think guys are cute and we playfully banter about how one of these guys might want to fuck her and how it would happen. She knows I am serious and she is serious as well, but if I ever pushed her towards something she would not be comfortable.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She took a trip to Las Vegas to meet up with a couple of her old female college friends. I did not push the cuckold fantasy because I want things to come naturally and not be ******. However, I did pick out some sexy revealing dresses that i offered to buy for her trip. She said they were a little too slutty and she didn't want to have anything like that end up on Facebook in a group shot or otherwise. She also said this trip wasn't about "putting herself out there", it was just about hanging out with old friends and having fun. I didn't push the issue and what she said made sense.
She came back and everything was normal. I didn't ask any jealous boyfriend type questions and we just talked about the trip in general. On Friday (one week later), I left for a business trip. Last night while I was out at dinner with co-workers I got a text that she had a confession to make. I asked what. The next text said that she had got it on with a guy and had oral sex, but did not have sex because of her period. She blew the guy two different nights and it sounds like the whole thing was everything but sex ... sucking on her titties, playing with her naked ass, her sucking him off, him coming all over him. She said she did this 2 nights in a row. He had about the same size dick as me, but she said he was super super hot. She did not exchange numbers with him (at least she says) because she said she was not interested in a continued sexual relationship.
I excused myself and kept on texting her for more details from all different places in the hotel ... bathroom, restaurant, lobby outside restaurant, etc. I did this so my co-workers could not see I was obsessed with something. Anyway she gave me as many details as possible. However, she started to get sleepy and eventually fell asleep after about 90 minutes of texting. I am now a bit bothered. Here are some of the takeaways that bother me:
1) She waited a week after getting back to tell me. When asked why, she said the girls agreed what happpens in Vegas ... This does not make sense because I have been dying for something like this to happen.
2) She only told me cause it was weighing on her.
3) She told me via text, which made the whole unveiling of this more difficult. It would have been WAY more exciting to hear about it in person and understand everything.
4) I asked her if she liked having this freedom with me. She basically said that it was just who she "is" (having this random sex) and she decided to tell me about it. In other words, she would have done it anyway. My fantasy just makes it OK to tell me. Did not directly say that, but this was the implication.
5) I asked if if was a huge turn to tell me about it. She said that when she talks about it she is super turned on, but all she really thinks about during the conversation is him.
6) Although she will do it if I prompt her. She will not take the initiative to tease me about it, embarrass me about it, etc. She knows this turns me on, but I don't think it really does anything for her.
7) She kind of minimizes the whole thing. I say that this is a huge sexy revelation, she says its no big deal and everything will be back to normal. Although she is excited to fuck.
So, the conclusion I am coming to is that the whole experience does not really involve my fantasy or even "us" for that matter... this includes before, during, and after it happened. It seems to basically be about her having her fun and getting off on remembering it. I get the sideline benefit of it intersecting with part of my fantasy. I know that if I am at all negative she will clam up about this and possibly other stuff in the future. This is even more worrisome. Still, I can't help but feel like this has all the elements of cheating, and very few elements of what I thought was "our fantasy". I know guys on this board would jump at the chance for something like this to happen. However, I get this feeling that my fantasy had zero bearing on her actions. If I did not have the fantasy she would have cheated on me and simply NOT told me about it. The only difference is she knows she can share it without getting in trouble and I will probably get off on some of the aspects.
Any thoughts / advice from people who have went beyond fantasy?
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She took a trip to Las Vegas to meet up with a couple of her old female college friends. I did not push the cuckold fantasy because I want things to come naturally and not be ******. However, I did pick out some sexy revealing dresses that i offered to buy for her trip. She said they were a little too slutty and she didn't want to have anything like that end up on Facebook in a group shot or otherwise. She also said this trip wasn't about "putting herself out there", it was just about hanging out with old friends and having fun. I didn't push the issue and what she said made sense.
She came back and everything was normal. I didn't ask any jealous boyfriend type questions and we just talked about the trip in general. On Friday (one week later), I left for a business trip. Last night while I was out at dinner with co-workers I got a text that she had a confession to make. I asked what. The next text said that she had got it on with a guy and had oral sex, but did not have sex because of her period. She blew the guy two different nights and it sounds like the whole thing was everything but sex ... sucking on her titties, playing with her naked ass, her sucking him off, him coming all over him. She said she did this 2 nights in a row. He had about the same size dick as me, but she said he was super super hot. She did not exchange numbers with him (at least she says) because she said she was not interested in a continued sexual relationship.
I excused myself and kept on texting her for more details from all different places in the hotel ... bathroom, restaurant, lobby outside restaurant, etc. I did this so my co-workers could not see I was obsessed with something. Anyway she gave me as many details as possible. However, she started to get sleepy and eventually fell asleep after about 90 minutes of texting. I am now a bit bothered. Here are some of the takeaways that bother me:
1) She waited a week after getting back to tell me. When asked why, she said the girls agreed what happpens in Vegas ... This does not make sense because I have been dying for something like this to happen.
2) She only told me cause it was weighing on her.
3) She told me via text, which made the whole unveiling of this more difficult. It would have been WAY more exciting to hear about it in person and understand everything.
4) I asked her if she liked having this freedom with me. She basically said that it was just who she "is" (having this random sex) and she decided to tell me about it. In other words, she would have done it anyway. My fantasy just makes it OK to tell me. Did not directly say that, but this was the implication.
5) I asked if if was a huge turn to tell me about it. She said that when she talks about it she is super turned on, but all she really thinks about during the conversation is him.
6) Although she will do it if I prompt her. She will not take the initiative to tease me about it, embarrass me about it, etc. She knows this turns me on, but I don't think it really does anything for her.
7) She kind of minimizes the whole thing. I say that this is a huge sexy revelation, she says its no big deal and everything will be back to normal. Although she is excited to fuck.
So, the conclusion I am coming to is that the whole experience does not really involve my fantasy or even "us" for that matter... this includes before, during, and after it happened. It seems to basically be about her having her fun and getting off on remembering it. I get the sideline benefit of it intersecting with part of my fantasy. I know that if I am at all negative she will clam up about this and possibly other stuff in the future. This is even more worrisome. Still, I can't help but feel like this has all the elements of cheating, and very few elements of what I thought was "our fantasy". I know guys on this board would jump at the chance for something like this to happen. However, I get this feeling that my fantasy had zero bearing on her actions. If I did not have the fantasy she would have cheated on me and simply NOT told me about it. The only difference is she knows she can share it without getting in trouble and I will probably get off on some of the aspects.
Any thoughts / advice from people who have went beyond fantasy?