Hi, I am new to the forum and new to cuckoldry. I am a 40 year-old black male. My wife is 39, black, and has recently taken a white lover. Our marriage has been struggling for the past couple years and back in early-August, she announced to me that she was going to start dating a guy at her job. At the time I took this as an empty threat. There's no way she'll do it, I thought, especially since we have two sons together.
Obviously, this caused serious tensions between us but I didn't really think she was going to go through with it. That was until a couple weeks ago, when, on a Friday night, I came home from work and saw her on her knees servicing her boyfriend. I can't really begin to describe the range of emotions I felt. I mean here was my wife, the mother of our two sons, on her knees in our living room with another man in her mouth.
I guess what really hit me the most was the lack of concern from either of them. It was obvious to me that she wasn't interested in hiding it and neither one of them really raised an eyebrow when I walked into the room. I was standing there a good three minutes before she stopped long enough to say, 'hello' to me. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't say a word. I must have stood there and watched for ten minutes before finally getting disgusted, both at them and myself, and leaving.
I was so mad at myself for not raising cane about it. I should have punched that guy in the face but I just stood there and watched. I kept asking myself what in the world is the matter with me. Then I was furious with her for doing this to me and to us. I have since talked with her about it and her position is that this is something I am going to have to learn to live with. She wants this guy in her life and she told me if I want a divorce then I can have it. The problems are that I am really not in a position financially to get divorced, she owns a business and I signed a pre-nup with her before we got married. Plus, I really don't want to have to make my kids go through a divorce either. And to top it all off, I really love my wife.
So I've started rationalizing my position thinking, ok, maybe I can learn to share her. That way I can still have her in my life and our kids can still have both their parents. Ironically, as I write this, she is in the bathroom getting ready to go on a date with her boyfriend. She's warned me that they may come home together and, if so, I'll have to sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch.
I am trying my best to make this work. I really don't want to lose her so I am looking to find other people who have been or are in my situation who can help me make the best of this and learn how to live with this. My pride doesn't like to let me think of myself as a cuckold but I have to face reality and accept that that is what I am right now. So I would really appreciate any feedback or words of wisdom that others could share with me.
Thanks a lot,
Malcolm
Obviously, this caused serious tensions between us but I didn't really think she was going to go through with it. That was until a couple weeks ago, when, on a Friday night, I came home from work and saw her on her knees servicing her boyfriend. I can't really begin to describe the range of emotions I felt. I mean here was my wife, the mother of our two sons, on her knees in our living room with another man in her mouth.
I guess what really hit me the most was the lack of concern from either of them. It was obvious to me that she wasn't interested in hiding it and neither one of them really raised an eyebrow when I walked into the room. I was standing there a good three minutes before she stopped long enough to say, 'hello' to me. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't say a word. I must have stood there and watched for ten minutes before finally getting disgusted, both at them and myself, and leaving.
I was so mad at myself for not raising cane about it. I should have punched that guy in the face but I just stood there and watched. I kept asking myself what in the world is the matter with me. Then I was furious with her for doing this to me and to us. I have since talked with her about it and her position is that this is something I am going to have to learn to live with. She wants this guy in her life and she told me if I want a divorce then I can have it. The problems are that I am really not in a position financially to get divorced, she owns a business and I signed a pre-nup with her before we got married. Plus, I really don't want to have to make my kids go through a divorce either. And to top it all off, I really love my wife.
So I've started rationalizing my position thinking, ok, maybe I can learn to share her. That way I can still have her in my life and our kids can still have both their parents. Ironically, as I write this, she is in the bathroom getting ready to go on a date with her boyfriend. She's warned me that they may come home together and, if so, I'll have to sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch.
I am trying my best to make this work. I really don't want to lose her so I am looking to find other people who have been or are in my situation who can help me make the best of this and learn how to live with this. My pride doesn't like to let me think of myself as a cuckold but I have to face reality and accept that that is what I am right now. So I would really appreciate any feedback or words of wisdom that others could share with me.
Thanks a lot,
Malcolm