Need advice - She wants to see others

[Scottneedsadvice]

Hello to everyone. I am new to the forum and don't really know if this is the place to talk about this, but I am having some issues with my girlfriend.

My name is Scott and Catherine is my girlfriend. I am 20 and Catherine is 19. We dated for most of highschool with a few breakups along the way. We made it through her first year away at college this year, but things have taken a really weird turn.

She joined a sorority when she got to school. She was rooming with a Senior that she knew from highschool. Tiffany, her roommate, is a good girl and not really wild at all from what I have heard. That was what I liked about her. Catherine is what you would call shy and modest for sure. We have never had sex, but have messed around alot. LOL

The first year was going great. The first semester she went to all the formals with a friend of Tiffany's who was a senior and had a girlfriend back home. Then during the Christmas break a sister introduced her to Kyle. Her sister wanted to set them up for a formal for New Years Eve since the other guy had just graduated and Catherine had to go with someone. I have never understood that.

Catherine and Kyle hit it off right away as friends. Then a month later Kyle kissed her at a party. She said they were *****. I was pissed but told her I was ok with it as long as it didn't happen again. I told her mistakes happened and to be careful. I knew she wasn't the kind of person to do that. She told him that if they were going to keep going to these things that that couldn't happen. Since then nothing physical, but they had been getting really close as friends.

All went well till about a month ago. After a formal they went to his frat house and eventually to his room with some friends. By 2 they were along and she started to leave. He said no wait he had something for her. He read her this letter about how much he cared for her and that this would be there last formal together unless she wanted to be more than friends.

That is when she admitted to me that she had feelings for Kyle. I said what kind and she said she didn't know. I told her I guess her mom was right. Her mom said we should break up when she left for school so she would be free to enjoy college and meet other people. She said no she still loved me and wants to marry me. I said how are you going to do that when you have feelings for other guys. That is when she said she wanted to see other people for a while. I said so we are over. She said no that is not what she wants, but if we can't see other people then yes. So I took a while to think it over and told her ok. Deal is she will never lie to me about it and break up with me if she doesn't love me any more.

This is all really weird to me. I talked to a friend of mine at work and she actually said the word cuckold which I had never heard before. I guess I am a little sheltered.

So now she is going to open her self up to the feelings she has for Kyle she says. I don't want to see anyone else and don't want her to but love her. She has her first “date” with him tonight at a formal. She said she would call me when she got home. I am really nervous and hope it all goes bad obviously.

I am not really into cuckold, but I am also not destroyed by her kissing someone else.

I guess I could use someone else's opinion on all this. I will try and post a picture, but don't want this to be a post about pictures. Also from reading the post I will go ahead and tell you I would never post a nude picture of her if I had one.

 

[Island77]

Sorry but this isn't good.
Don't fall for all the guys on here who are going to tell you to sit back and enjoy your girlfriend screwing around with other guys. It's NOT cool.
Be a man Scott, you need to stand up for yourself and tell your girlfriend that you will Not put up with this. If she continues, that means she loses you. Lay it on the line. Don't sugar coat it. She is YOUR girl, Not Kyle's. Don't you dare be so stupid as to give her away.
You deserve more respect than what Catherine is giving you. Don't you dare let this go on. Don't you dare let another guy move in on your girlfriend. You my friend, will regret it. You wil be the loser. That's Not acceptable.
You know I'm right.

 

[marys_pet]

Don't do it

There seem to generally be 2 paths into this lifestyle. The first is when it's the guy's fantasy — it's at the center of his arousal — to see his woman get fucked by other men, and he's eventually able to convince her to do it, for him. This path can be stable, solid and successful over the long haul, because both partners are getting what they really want, and the love between them remains undiminished.

The second path is when a guy tries to make the best of a situation in which his woman is going to fuck around on him anyway. This path is completely fucked up. Catherine doesn't respect you, and she doesn't love you enough to be willing to forsake others for you. There is no solid relationship here to use as a stable foundation to build a cuckold relationship on. Save yourself a great deal of pain and heartache, and tell her that it's either you or Kyle, but she can't have both.

 

[Island77]

Hopefully he'll listen to us, Mary's Pet.

 

[marys_pet]

Indeed, Island. At 20 years old, he should be focused on finding a woman who loves him enough to want to build a future with him. If that future happens to include her getting fucked by other men, there will be plenty of time for that down the road.

Then again, this might be a lesson that he'll need to learn the hard way.

 

[DuzHer4U]

Here we go again.....

Dude...grab your balls and tell this bit-h to hit the bricks. Chicks that age think their sh-t doesn't stink, and all indications are that she'll only make your young life a living hell. Marys Pet and Island are wise and speak the truth. To be into this lifestyle, you've got to establish a solid base of basic relationship underpinnings before you start even thinking of the cuckold thing. Hell, even if she were to accomodate you regarding some kinky stuff initially, you can bet your ass that her immaturity will have her changing her mind soon after and even giving you grief (perhaps publicly) later.

 

[Harry2614]

harry2614

Hey, Scott:
Best advice I can give ya. look at the thread [mattcrowe25] Read the whole thing! Notice how 'screwed up' he is now. Notice that he said basically the same thing as you in the begining. Same senario, Hell you could be the same guy, just changed the names. BTW is Kyle a black guy?

Are you getting the picture yet? I realize universitys are 'party' places and you are not there to go to the partys with her. No excuse!! College is also a place to learn. If she says she wants to marry you, she better damn well be there for learning and party with you on the weekends. Otherwise my advise is the same as the others. Dump her now before you end up like Mattcrowe25

Good luck, Scott

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

Answer

Hey, Scott:
Best advice I can give ya. look at the thread [mattcrowe25] Read the whole thing! Notice how 'screwed up' he is now. Notice that he said basically the same thing as you in the begining. Same senario, Hell you could be the same guy, just changed the names. BTW is Kyle a black guy?

Are you getting the picture yet? I realize universitys are 'party' places and you are not there to go to the partys with her. No excuse!! College is also a place to learn. If she says she wants to marry you, she better damn well be there for learning and party with you on the weekends. Otherwise my advise is the same as the others. Dump her now before you end up like Mattcrowe25

Good luck, Scott

I read most of the post. Obviously you will see on my next post that I am different from him in one way. Also Kyle is white.

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

New feelings

After posting yesterday I went into the chat room and kinda found out a lot about my self. I am not good at expressing how I feel about things. Here is what I mean.

I realized last night that Catherine dating others does turn me on. I am really confused by this. To most of you that will make no sense. I love Catherine and don't want to loose her. But, I now realize that this is a turn on to me. I actually want her to go out with others, but worry what that will lead to.

I have to also admit to something to let you know how I know this. I actually took pleasure from all this last night. If you know what I mean. I also thought about her with some of her exs while we were broke up in high school. It was really a turn on including thinking of her with the only guy she ever had sex with. Now all of this confuses me.

Also, she texted me a few times last night to say she was having a good time and she loved me. I wanted to ask more but I don't think I want her to know I am turned on by this. What should I do???

She will probably call tonight and I want to know everything and see if I still feel this way. What do I do???

Also Kyle is white. I did think of her last night with a black guy also. That is a turn on to. See this is way to confusing.

 

[TVWill]

My advice is to explore your fantasy as just that. A fantasy.

Jerk off all you like to the idea as a turn on, but don't blow things with your gf so early.

TVWill

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

Text chat

I texted her today while chatting and here is what she told me.

She got in around 230 and had good time.

They went back to his frat. I asked if they kissed and she said maybe. I said that was cool if they did. She sent smile face back and I love you. I said love you to.

I said what else happened, did you make out. I said it is ok if you did. I asked if she liked it. She said different. Asked what she meant. She said I don't know. I asked if she was being shy. She said ya.

I asked her how long they were together alone. She said she didn't know lost track of time. I was totally hard at this point. I asked if she did her little strip tease. She said no that is just for me. She said he was good kisser.

I asked if they were going out again. She said yes. Tonight. He apparently didn't want to wait.

I asked her if that was all she did. She said well mostly. She said he felt her over he clothes that was all. She is really shy so I believed her.

I said what about tonight. She said you sure are asking alot. I said I loved her and missed her. She doesn't know what they are doing tonight. I asked what she wanted to do. She said she didn't care. I asked if she was going to do more with him tonight. She said she couldn't believe I asked that she is good girl.

I told her you know i don't always like that she is, but maybe I am when she is away. She said maybe she will be bad tonight then. (Note being bad is dressing sexy for us. She did that few times at home for me. When no one was around.)

I asked what she was planing on wearing tonight. She said she didn't know. She said her friend was coming over and they would pick something. I asked her if she was going to wear the skirt I bought her. It is really short for her. She said no way. Why would you want me to. I said I didn't but it would make a good impression if that is what she wanted. That is kinda are thing was her reply.

I said what about your panties? She asked why I wanted to know. I said I was just being supportive. She gave me a smile face. She said it depends on what she wares. I said not if you go comando. She just gave me the lol. We have joked about that before.

She said she would text me with what she wore since i was so interested. I asked if she was taking her sleeping shirt. (She sleeps in my old highschool tshirt that is oversized) She laughed and said she would just borrow one of his. Then sent a big NOT. I said so you want need it if you stay. LOL She said you know I am not staying funny guy.

She asked me what I did last night. I said just thought of you. Which was true but not like she thought.
I said well what might you be doing. She said I will have to wait like she will.

I told her I loved her no matter what and she said she did me to.

 

[enser]

Hi Scott,
this looks different now, your first post let me believe that you are not OK with her getting laid. But now do you take bets, how long will it take before she gets laid?

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

No bets

Hi Scott,
this looks different now, your first post let me believe that you are not OK with her getting laid. But now do you take bets, how long will it take before she gets laid?

I don't take bets, but I will say again she is not like that. She is really shy. I have tried often to get her to lossen up.

 

[Island77]

You are making such a BIG mistake.
You apparently have no idea.
That's just...sad.

 

[Harry2614]

harry2614

[I read most of the post. Obviously you will see on my next post that I am different from him in one way. Also Kyle is white.]

So you don't think you are getting into the same senerio as [Mattcrowe25] That it is different, Well OK Kyle is white, Well there are white 'BULLS' too. Aparentlly you think you are already a CUCKOLD, and that makes you different from Matt.

Tell ya what!! Many of the guys that post on this site don't just think they are Cuckold, they KNOW they are. They already have one or more marriages or long term relationships to verify it. Their 'partners' know it too and enjoy the fact. It has become a COMFORTABLE way of life for them.

You have a young girl you are PUSHING into the 'lifestyle' and she don't even know why. If you continue down this road, you will loose her either way. She will wonder why you are being weird and pushing her into this and leave you [or] she will find someone that [loves her and wants her totally], and leave you. Either way, you loose. You gotta ask yourself WHY you are doing this? Better still, ask a counselor.

Seriously, you need to start out with a NORMAL relationship and see where it goes before you declare yourself to be a cuckold and screw it up. You should not even be reading this forum.

I suppose you could argue that your deviant thoughts have brought you here, Maybe so, But please get some advise on NORMAL and persue that first. You will be a lot happier if you do.

 

[DuzHer4U]

Ok....

....I gotta say it. I think this guy(?) is the same one who posted under mattcrowe25. Same sentence structure, same misspellings, same story context. Hey, I'm all for the entertainment value in this stuff, but if you're asking busy people to take the time to give you feedback and advice, and you ARE the same guy....then you're doing little more than scamming. Cucks may be a twisted bunch, but we're generally sincere.

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

Soap Box

....I gotta say it. I think this guy(?) is the same one who posted under mattcrowe25. Same sentence structure, same misspellings, same story context. Hey, I'm all for the entertainment value in this stuff, but if you're asking busy people to take the time to give you feedback and advice, and you ARE the same guy....then you're doing little more than scamming. Cucks may be a twisted bunch, but we're generally sincere.

Not sure who Matt is, but I am not he. Not sure how to even tell about sentence structure and never been a good speller. If everyone wnats me to stop chatting then I will. I thought this was a place I could get advice about how to handle things. so far all I am getting is slammed. So here is a question. Do you want me to stop telling you what is going on. if so I will look for another outlet.

As far as me pushing Catherine, it was her idea to see someone else. How is that me doing something. I think it is kinda hot. I thought that is what the board was about. We are close. Very close. And pretty storng relationship.

Sorry I guess I needed a soap box. Maybe I can get Mr. Crow to help me do my post. Then I get everything straight. But from what I have read of his post. He is getting it to.

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

Second date

This is for anyone wanting to know what is going on. I talked with Catherine today and they had dinner at her apartment. Tiffany was there so they wound up going to her room and watching a movie. She said it sucked. She said they kissed but nothing more. She had to get up early. That was all she really told me.

I talked to Shannon a friend of ours. He is really close with Catherine and they talk alot. Shannon is gay and was a friend of mine before I met Catherine. Anyway he told me he talked with Catherine and said she is really into her new bf. He thinks we are broke up and was shooting me straight on what was going on. He did ask why I wanted to know. I said we would eventually get back together since we always do.

He said she is really into Kyle and has wanted to go out with him for awhile. They didn't watch much of the movie. A lot of kissing he said. He also says that she told him he couldn't touch her under the clothes till the third date if he made it that long. That is what she had told another guy when we were broke up so I believe it. He also said that is why they went out last night and again tonight.

She sent me two text last night with what she was going to wear. One was what she wanted me to think she was wearing the other her actual outfit. The second was tshirt and shorts. The first was a short skirt I got her once and bikini top. NO I will not post it. I actually took the pics down after the harsh comments.

So let me know if you want to here any more. If not I will stop. I also would like some advice on my next step. Thanks!

 

[Island77]

Scott, you are not getting slammed.
The point is, you asked for input and opinion and you're getting it.
What you are doing with Catherine is a clear and direct Mistake.
That's not a personal comment against you. It just means that in your particular situation, at your age you will just not last with Catherine. She will be gone with someone else (permenently) and you will be left holding the bag.
We are trying to get you to avoid that situation. Apparently you have something very good with Catherine and you will just mess it up if you allow her to go to other men. I'm sorry but that's just how it is.
We are trying to get you to see clearly and not blinded by a "hot" fantasy. Seriously, please don't give Catherine away.
If you marry her someday and your quite a bit older and you both want to try out a "swing" situation or whatever, well then give it a shot then but really, don't do it now. It's much too early for the both of you and you Will get burned.
I hope you understand what I am trying to convey. Thanks and goodluck.

 

[Scottneedsadvice]

Island77

Scott, you are not getting slammed.
The point is, you asked for input and opinion and you're getting it.
What you are doing with Catherine is a clear and direct Mistake.
That's not a personal comment against you. It just means that in your particular situation, at your age you will just not last with Catherine. She will be gone with someone else (permenently) and you will be left holding the bag.
We are trying to get you to avoid that situation. Apparently you have something very good with Catherine and you will just mess it up if you allow her to go to other men. I'm sorry but that's just how it is.
We are trying to get you to see clearly and not blinded by a "hot" fantasy. Seriously, please don't give Catherine away.
If you marry her someday and your quite a bit older and you both want to try out a "swing" situation or whatever, well then give it a shot then but really, don't do it now. It's much too early for the both of you and you Will get burned.
I hope you understand what I am trying to convey. Thanks and goodluck.

This post is not a slam. I appreciate these words. The 14 post was more blunt and kinda harsh.

I think for now I do want to continue. I think we have a good relationship that will make it through. If not then it was never ment to be. I just want to enjoy what I am going through and think I have found a way. I do appreciate the advice.