need advice to cuck my fiance

[knockedup]

Hi all

I don't know if this is the right place to ask for advice on this or not,but I'm hoping that since the husbands who post on here seem to enjoy being cuckolds, someone can give me some insight on how to get my husband to be to agree to being one.becasue otherwise I think I'm going to be in big trouble.

Here's my problem. I'm 30 and my fiance', Paul. is 45.and is the the sweetest and most loiving man I have ever been with and I love him to pieces.The problem is i hadn't actually been "with "him.. that is we hadn;t had sex, until just last weekend.I have tended in the past to go more for the "bad boy" types who were just lookingfor a good time,and admittedly, I enjoyed being "wild and free" and was in fact "seeing " (and sleeping with)a few different guys when Paul first asked me out.He is abit shy and little bit "nerdy" so I almost didn't say yes,but I guess part of me was thinking..gee , I'm 30 and still single and none of the guys I
m Dating" now are what I would call husband material....maybe I should give him a chance..so I and befor elong I started to have strng feelings for him. .The only thing is, we never had sex. I didn;t wantto too soon becasue iwan;t sure ,as i said, that he was my type and I thoughtif i slept with himand then broke up with him it would really hurt him. I do love sex though, so I did keep seeing and having sex with the other men I knew while he and I were dating.I figured I;d stop if we got "serious" and when he asked me to marry him a few months later and i realized I loved him and said yes I had every intention of doingthat, except that I found out a couple of weeks later I was pregnant. I wa son th epill soit wasn;t suppose to happne, butit did ,and i have no idea which guy knocked me up.I should have stayed calm and gottenit taken care of, but i panicked becasuei didn;t want to blow my chance at gettingmarried to thiswondeful man, and instead of doing that I figured if I 'seduced " paul and slept with him the next time I saw him I could tell him it was his.Well, i did that,and he bought it, but in the process I discovered whathas me worried.. He has a tiny little dickthe smallest I've ever seen..He also came about 2 min after we started, so I had to completely fake havingan orgasm since i iddin;t wantto tellhim I wasn't satisfied..Needless to say, I am concerned becasue I love him to pieces,and I'm going to have baby to boot,but I can't imagine I'llbe happy if i can;t have satisfying sex. I have been continuingot have sex with a couple of the other guys I know, but I really don;t want to cheat on him and i don;t know If even if idid want to I could once we are ,marrried..

The only solution I can think of is to explain to him that he can;t satisfy me and hope he would agree to be cuckolded and I could have sex with other men,but how do I go about doing that,and would he go along with it? I'm hopingsomeoen can give me an opinion and /or some ideas on how to broach the subkect with him
Thanks

 

[Mr Small Mushroom]

you cheated.....he would be quite within his rights to dump you .you simply cannot really love him,your actions speak louder than words.who wants a cheating liar,a pregnant one? wouldn't you agree?

 

[69chap]

Deceitful, self absorbed, dishonest, selfish, I could go on.

Making him think it's his child stinks. You clearly have no regard for anyone but yourself.

 

[frank513]

I don't think it's easy to turn your fiance to be a person who loves to be cuckolded. This is a kind of psychological factor usually hard to be pursuaded. He may like it in the future. but it needs himself to think the whole thing through. Otherwise, this would be a serious hurt to his dignity.
don't lie to him about the baby.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Knockedup,

I don't know if this is the right place to ask for advice....

Hey, why not? Good advice is where you find it. (Of course, so is bad advice....)

Here's my problem. I'm 30 and my fiance, Paul, is 45 and is the sweetest and most loving man I have ever been with and I love him to pieces. .... I figured I'd stop [sleeping with other men] if we got "serious." When he asked me to marry him a few months later, I realized I loved him and said yes. I found out a couple of weeks later I was pregnant [by another man]. I was on the pill, so it wasn't supposed to happen — but it did. I have no idea which guy knocked me up.

Oh-oh....

I should have stayed calm and had it taken care of....

I agree with you.

....but I panicked because I didn't want to blow my chance at getting married to this wonderful man — so instead of doing that, I figured if I 'seduced' Paul and slept with him the next time I saw him I could tell him it was his. Well, I did that, and he bought it....

If by "I did that, and he bought it" you mean you told your fiance you're pregnant (a true statement) and by him (a lie), I'd say you're now in pretty deep. For whatever it's worth (that is, for future reference), I'll mention that one of the rules when you find yourself in a really bad or desperate situation is to take a deep breath, don't allow yourself to panic but rather calm yourself down (this can be hard, sometimes really hard, but it's critical), and take the time to think through *all* your options before adopting a course of action. In some bad situations — realizing a building you're in is on fire, for example — thinking your options through and deciding on the best course of action has to be done really fast. If the bad situation is realizing you're pregnant, you don't have to make a decision instantly — you can take quite a bit of time to think it through, and talk it over with someone you trust.

Getting back to your problem....

....but in the process I discovered what has me worried. He has a tiny little dick, the smallest I've ever seen. He also came about 2 min after we started, so I had to completely fake having an orgasm since I didn't want to tell him I wasn't satisfied. Needless to say, I am concerned because I love him to pieces, and I'm going to have a baby to boot, but I can't imagine I'll be happy if I can't have satisfying sex.

These are real concerns. I suggest, at this point, recognizing that your fiance is not the only man in the world who could be a good marriage partner for you. There are others. Perhaps many others.

The man you marry should, ideally, satisfy a number of criteria. (i) The two of you should be good friends; i.e., like each other sufficiently to live together without "irreconcilable conflict" over an extended time period. (ii) He should be a good life partner; meaning, someone you can rely on when the chips are down, and he will need the same from you. (iii) You should be sexually attracted to each other, and capable of satisfying each other in bed — i.e., the two of you should have "chemistry." (iv) You should have a shared sense of humor; if you laugh at each other's jokes that's a strong plus. (v) It helps a lot to be mutually-tolerant, and capable of "not sweating the small stuff." (vi) If you have friends in common, that too is a plus.... but if you feel you have nothing in common with his friends, and he feels similarly about yours, that probably isn't a good sign.

You can, of course, prioritize these criteria in any order you like, and delete some (if you consider them irrelevant) and/or add others (that may be important to you, but I didn't think of them). In any case, your comment:

I have been continuing to have sex with a couple of the other guys I know....

suggests rather strongly you consider "(iii)" to have high priority. Perhaps you would place it at or near the top of your list. The rest of your sentence:

....but I really don't want to cheat on him, and I don't know whether, if I did want to, I would be able to [take other men as lovers] after our marriage.

suggests that, since you don't want to "cheat" on your fiance but are doing so anyway, there's a high probability you will continue to do so after marriage.

The only solution I can think of is to explain to him he can't satisfy me, and I hope he would agree to be cuckolded so I can have sex with other men.

I think you're on the right track here, but to tell your fiance he's incapable of satisfying you in bed and you want to be free to take lovers after you marry him may be too blunt. I suspect it would be sort of like dropping a bomb on him.

But how do I go about doing that?

I suggest a somewhat less direct approach. Invite him to your place (or go to his place) for a glass of wine. Buy a full bottle of something both of you like, because almost certainly he'll need more than one glass. Make sure the atmosphere is romantic — lights down low, candle on a table, you know the scene — so you can talk with him in a low, soft voice. Dress in a way that will turn him on. When the two of you are comfortable and the time is right, tell him that if you're going to get married, you'll need to talk about what kind of marriage to have. (Perhaps he'll say something that sounds like the usual stuff.) Then you can say, you know, there are many people who, after marriage, agree they love each other but they need more sexual variety.... so instead of being sexually exclusive, they agree to date others and take other lovers, but for sex only. They agree not to become emotionally involved with others, and to love only each other, but to not equate their love with sexual exclusivity. What are your thoughts on that....?

That should get the conversation started, and you can take it from there depending on the nature of your fiance's response.

Would he go along with it?

That's what you'll have to determine by talking with him. With any luck, an approach along the above lines will give you a feeling for "where he's at" on this question. You can then make a judgment re. how to proceed. I suggest writing back after you conversation with him, and I — and perhaps others — will talk with you some more. If you do write back, I suggest including some additional information about your pregnancy.... such as, how many months pregnant are you at this point?

Best wishes—

Custer

 

[loveslife2005@yahoo.com]

First, take a deep breath. If you're in the first trimester, I recommend an abortion. babies tend to show the personalities of the parents, so if the father is a jerk, bad-boy, the child will mimic those traits.

If you're past the first trimester when you can have an abortion, then you have time to ease your fiancee towards your goal. Have sex with him but don't fake an orgasm. get yourself off or have him lick you to climax. Bring it out in the open that he doesn't satisfy you.

His tiny dick and shy, nerdy personality increase the chance that he has inferiority feelongs. He'll probably accept that he cannot satisfy you, and you can ease the topic around to what you need. As you manipulate his tiny cock, tell him how you love him but that you two need to find a way to satisfy you. Tell him how he's the only one you'd marry, but that other men with bigger cocks bring you satisfaction.

In the end, lead it around to the truth, that you love him but needed sexual satisfaction as well, so that you fucked other men. If he accepts that, you'll have what you want. If not, well, you'll eventually get caught and then a divorce or at least a harder personall blow to him will result. You can also try getting him to read you Penthouse letters stories as you rub yourself. Many involve hot wives and he'll notice how hot those get you. Ask him what he thinks of those stories.

 

[TheDevil]

This thread is FAKE!!!

 

[knockedup]

Thanks to all of you who took the time to reply to my post,even those who were not exactly, shall I say, complimentary. To those of you who chose to simply chastise me .. ...yes,I know i messed up big time ,first by cheating on him .and then of course by getting pregnant by someoen else,, and then by decieving him about it being his..In my defense i will say the following..and I know it may not change anyone's opinion about me ..but here goes anyway...yes, I was cheating on him while we were dating,and that was wrong, but at that time I didn;t know he was going to propose and I did say I had every intention of not doing that anymore once we became enaged.I did in fact stop seeing the other guys until after my admittedly ill advised tryst with Paul had revealed his "shortcomings" to me.I know it's even more wrong to still be cheating on him now that we are engaged,and I don;t want to do that..that was the whole point of my asking for advice on making him a cuckold.I love and need sex.and I now know sex with him won't be satisfying to me .... sexually anyway..It was my understanding that cuckolds don;t mind that thier wives enjoy sex with other men more than wiith them,and don;t consder it cheating if they know about it.That is waht I would like to have happen with Paul because I do want to be able to enjoy having sex ,but don't want to cheat . Iknow he would have every right to dump me if he knew I was cheating,and of ocurse pregnant with someone lses baby, and I desperately don;t want that to happen. I do love him and I want to marry him and be happy..and make hiim happy too..that;s why I am asking for advice.

As far as the baby is concerned, Idid the wrong thing in decieving him,I know, but as I said I paniced,and nO, I wasn;t looking for anyone to say whatI did was OK, i was looking for a solution to the mess I made. I can say I know I didn't "trick" him into wanting to marry me..he already did before I told him I was pregnant..and now he is so excited abut us having ababy i can;t very well decide not to have it. Of ocurs ei know if i told him the truth aboutit not being his he might change his mind both about the baby and me,and that is what I want to not havehappen...and yes, i am thinking about my happiness because I know I don;t wantto lose him,but I am also thinking about his..I don;t want to hurt him,and I know the truth would ifi ijsut blurted it out.I do thinkI need to tellhimthe truth, but my thinking is that if I do it after he has agreed to be my cuckold it would. or atleast while we were talking about that,it would be mroe pallatable.I'malso thinking, believ it or not, 69chap... of the baby. I 'm too far along now to abort it and I don't know who the father is..and even ifiI di,none of the guys it could be wants A wife, much less a baby.Paul is so caringand lvoing with me , Iknow he would be a great dad,and I think in my heart that if I told himithe right way it wan;t biologically his he still would wantto be the dad.

To Custer:
Thank you so much for your advice and constructive crticism.I know I;m no saint and deserve some, and that I am ,as you said "in deep"..the question is not should I go jump off a bridge or just shoot myself because I'm such a horrible person, but rather how to fix it,and your advice seems sound. Youre right in what yousaid about sex being an important thing to me and something I know I would continue to need to have on a regualr basis, I am only 30 after all..I;'m not about to toatally give up enjoying sex so if I marry Paul and do nothing I proabably will continue to cheat on him and I know that;s not a good thing.I could ,as you said, hope to find and fall in love with someone else who is good in bed too, but then ther eis stillthis baby to consider,and the fact that i do love Paul very very much.We do ahve allof the things you listed as being important ,including th e sexual atraction and "chemisrty..it's just the satisfying part that is missing...That's truly the only reason I antto have sex with other men and if he were to accept that i needed that and just that form them everything would be perfect.I agree to just come out and tell him he sucks in bed is probablly not a good idea.so I will try what you suggested. Thanks

 

[Joe_regions]

From Personal Experience

If Paul is as you describe him to be then play into his personality. What you must be missing is that he views you as the Empress of his heart. He's never had a woman in your league and he knows it. And he thinks he even knocked you up! He must feel that not only has he won the heart of a wild and beautiful woman but that you are about to present him with a child to further seal the love he believes dwells between you.
Me thinks it rare that any man can actually KNOW the woman who shares his life. All we men see is make up, dresses, naked bodies and a good maid and chef. The spiritual and character dimensions to even the simplest of women is well beyond the male mind and spirit to grasp. Just look around this website and weigh the small substance of pornography. Men are simple minded and reactionary.
My first wife was the town *****, my dad knocked her up before we wed; I knew nothing of it. Like Paul I was (am?) a simple guy who saw (sees) the woman at my side as nothing but a princess who loves her shining knight. Even after I learned the truth - 10 years later - I had grown to love her so that I could not leave her. Nor could I believe she could walk out on me. And when she did, I still, to this day - 32 years later, trust my inner feelings that she really was my soul's mate. She will come around. Even if it is years after I am dead and gone.
Paul sounds like a nice guy. You're not a good girl, but do you think a good girl would serve him better? - especially when he is all wrapped up in you? No way. You can redeem yourself fully by playing up and along with him and the life you two can build together will support the man, your children and yourself. You're a woman, wear the mask. Your life with him can be everything the two of you want and need it to be, do it. That's what true cuckolding is: You deceive the man.
I know, it sounds froth with sadness and immorality. The immorality of "men," not women. Make Paul feel proud, make him feel alive and loved by the woman of his dreams. It will make you, him and your children happy. You will build a wonderful life together. And what you do in shadows has nothing to do with that life, and should never touch that wonderful life.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Knockedup,

Thank you for writing back. Your additional comments are quite helpful; they have shed more light on your situation.

In my defense I will say the following. .... Yes, I was cheating on him while we were dating, and that was wrong.

Hey.... don't worry about it, because it wasn't "wrong." You were merely dating Paul, so there was no implication you were committed to him nor he to you. He had no right to expect that, nor does he have any right to expect that now. As a woman, you are your own person. You are not "owned" by Paul nor by anyone else. Whom you fuck was, and remains, your own business.

.... I did, in fact, stop seeing the other guys until after my admittedly ill-advised tryst with Paul revealed his "shortcomings" to me.

Your tryst with Paul was not ill-advised. It was well-advised. Marrying him without getting to know him sexually would be *very* ill-advised (contrary to widespread social expectation).

I know it's even more wrong to still be cheating on Paul now that we are engaged, and I don't want to do that.

This is an error in logic caused by "conventional morality," which permeates the air all around you — thus, it's perfectly understandable. Continuing to take other men as lovers while you're engaged to Paul, Ms. Knockedup, is the *right* thing to be doing for several reasons. (i) You and Paul are not married (yet), and you have made no pledge (I hope) to be sexually exclusive with him. Continuing to take lovers while engaged will prepare you and help you become adapted, psychologically, to making Paul your cuckold after you marry him. (ii) Since you are your own person, it is your right and prerogative to take lovers. As noted above, Paul does not somehow "own" you and certainly not your pussy. (iii) If Paul suspects you are dating and fucking other men — perhaps someone has mentioned this to him, or perhaps he suspects it from his knowledge of you — that's positive, because obviously he loves you anyway and is forging ahead with his plans to make you his wife. He may, in fact, be attracted to you, at least in part, *because* you are such a highly sexual woman you take multiple lovers. Thus, your continuing to fuck other men while engaged to Paul is adapting him, in a psychological sense, to his future role as your cuckold.

This was the whole point of my asking for advice on making him a cuckold.

It was very reasonable and a good decision on your part to have done that, Ms. Knockedup. As one married woman put it (in a blog elsewhere on the Internet; I can't recall where): "Making your husband a cuckold is among the most satisfying rewards available to you as a married woman."

I love and need sex. I now know sex with him won't satisfy me.

Loving and needing sex is good! It's entirely appropriate. It means you're a normal, healthy woman. Loving and needing sex is an evolutionary imperative; it's what drives perpetuation of the human species. (One can argue, reasonably, that human population growth has gotten out of hand globally, but in principle this problem can be controlled, on an individual level, by birth control and the availability of abortion.)

It was my understanding that cuckolds don't mind that their wives enjoy sex with other men more than with them, and don't consider it cheating if they know about it.

That's true in some but not all cases. There is what seems to me to be a growing subculture of married couples who agree it is the wife's prerogative to enjoy a variety of lovers, while the husband agrees to remain faithful. These are called "hot wife / cuckold husband" marriages. As you know by now, I'm sure, there are many cuckolds on this forum who believe it is their wife's right to fuck whomever she pleases and are strongly turned on by her polymorous sexual behavior. Such couples are still a relatively small subset of the population, though. Among "mainstream married couples" this concept is not yet accepted, it seems to me. All are encouraged, of course, in their traditional marriage beliefs and practices by "religious authorities," as they're called.... who are, in reality, guardians of social traditions.

As for those who assert this forum is for those who have "hot wife / cuckold husband" marriages by mutual consent: that simply isn't true. It's a misconception based, in part, on lack of understanding of the word "cuckold." The dictionary definition is: a married man whose wife has sex with other men. How the cuckold feels about this; or whether he encourages his wife to do this; or whether he's humiliated by this and does not like it but she does it anyway; or whether he doesn't even know his wife takes lovers, is irrelevant. All these "how the cuckold feels" details are not part of the definition, which is, one might say, operational.

That is what I would like to have happen with Paul, because I do want to be able to enjoy having sex, but I don't want to cheat.

You are on the right track, and your goal is entirely reasonable. Indeed, it's laudable. A "hot wife / cuckold husband" marriage is what you want and need. There is no reason to be ashamed of this, or to consider it "bad."

I know he would have every right to dump me if he knew I was cheating, and of course pregnant with someone else's baby. I desperately don't want that to happen. I do love him and I want to marry him and be happy, and make him happy too. That's why I am asking for advice.

Not necessarily. Your task, now, is to bring Paul to acceptance of your high sexuality and your need to enjoy a variety of lovers during your engagement and after you marry him; hence to acceptance of the concept of becoming your cuckold husband.

.... And now he is so excited abut us having a baby I can't very well decide not to have it.

Yes, it sounds like it. If, after carefully talking with him and (one hopes) guiding him to acceptance of becoming your cuckold, you might then consider informing him, gently and lovingly, that your pregnancy is not by him. From your point of view, that's OK.... your baby-to-be (so to speak) is part of you and an expression of your sexuality. Lots of divorced people who get remarried have children by a former spouse, and their new spouse accepts helping to raise their children as a normal aspect of their new marriage. You might consider suggesting to Paul he view it in the same way. If he becomes greatly upset, however, and it's obvious he doesn't want to raise a child fathered by another man, you might consider suggesting to him you could put your baby out for adoption (that is, if you yourself consider that a "reasonable and possible" solution).

Paul is so caring and loving with me, I know he would be a great dad. I think in my heart that if I tell him it isn't biologically his, he still would want to be the dad.

Good. Paul sounds like the kind of husband you want. At some point you will need to tell him your pregnancy (/child) is not by him — or perhaps it will become obvious to him. If you tell him before marrying him, you will have the option of suggesting putting your baby out for adoption if he becomes angry and upset and can't accept it, as noted above. If you wait until after your marriage and after birth and the baby has grown to become a child, you will no longer have that option, because its affect on the child would be devastating.

To Custer: Thank you so much for your advice and constructive criticism. .... Your advice seems sound.

You're welcome. It's good to hear you found my comments useful. For the time-being, I have one more suggestion. It is to familiarize yourself further with the basics of "hot wife / cuckold husband" marriages by reading:

The Science of Cuckoldry Cuckold Couple and

For Women Scandalous Magazine cuckolding, Playgirl, fashion, beauty, health, sex advice for women

Then, when you have gently introduced Paul to your need for him to become your cuckold husband, and he is thinking about it (he will be intrigued in spite of himself, one hopes), suggest to him that he read these articles as well.

I hope you will write back and let us know how you're doing.

Best wishes—
Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

This thread is FAKE!!!

Why do you say that, TheDevil? Show us your analysis.

 

[Saraha]

I agree with megahero about telling Paul that he might not be the father (before marriage), because you might want a second baby and it might look different to "Paul's baby".

If Paul truly loves you, he will stand by you - okay, he will be shocked, hurt, angry, disappointed, etc for a few days, and might even break off your engagement - but after a bit he will start to MISS YOU IF HE LOVES YOU. This is his chance at marriage at 45 !!

The sooner you tell Paul, the more time he has to come to terms with the truth before the baby is born.

There are other guys out there - and Custer is right, you need some BAD BOYS with big cocks to FULLY SATISFY you. Paul's cock is not going to be enough for you, not now or in the future, so be honest about what is important to you, DON'T COMPROMISE.

You could lose Paul by telling the truth, but you will find out whether he is right for you by his responses - and if he ditches you, you can continue to chase HOT COCK to satisfy the sluttiness inside your makeup (and I use sluttiness in the nicest way).

You still hold the power here, but marrying Paul without telling him the truth will make you incredibly scared to have a second child. Your marriage will be lie-after-lie, and karma will bite you (painfully) on the bum (many times).

After Paul gets over the shock, you also need to talk to him about "open marriage" (in the way Custer suggested. The several talks could be several weeks apart.

You have to tell Paul that you have a strong sex drive and need the extra cock power from cuckolding him - but you must put him on a pedestal, so that he feels your love and your need for lovers.

You have a lot to talk to Paul about, but if you tell him the baby may not be his, and you need a poly marriage, you will be TRUE TO YOUR SELF and also give him the chance to decide whether he still wishes to share his life with you.

No matter how scared you are, tell him the truth and give him a month or two to turn over the issues in his mind. Other girls are not exactly knocking his door down to date him, so please be true to him - he is already looking forward to "his baby being born".

The longer you hide the truth from him, the bigger the humiliation he may feel when he eventually discovers you tricked him into marriage.

Which ever way you slice it, you need more sex than Paul can give you, so sort it out now. It is your choice, but please do the honorable thing, give Paul a chance to back out if his love for you is not strong enough.

Truth is always best - it sets you free from all guilt because it gives him the option to decide whether he can live the life of a cuckold after marriage.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Avoid alcohol during pregnancy due to possibility of a FAS baby....

Ms. Knockedup,

Earlier I suggested meeting Paul in a romantic candle-lit setting, perhaps at your place, for a conversation — possibly more than one — over a bottle of wine. This was a bad mistake on my part. I suggest serving wine to Paul — he will need it — but you should have a non-alcoholic beverage. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY AVOID DRINKING ALCOHOL DURING YOUR PREGNANCY, BECAUSE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION CAN RESULT IN GIVING BIRTH TO A BABY WITH FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME (FAS). If you give birth to a FAS baby, you will have problems beyond anything you are capable of imagining and you (and your husband, if you marry Paul) will very likely regret it for the rest of your lives.

Sorry I seemed to be shouting at you by using all caps, but not drinking alcohol during your pregnancy is very, very important.

Here are some additional comments in response to the last part of your post.

To Custer: .... The question is not should I go jump off a bridge or just shoot myself because I'm such a horrible person...

No, no.... of course you don't want to go jump off a bridge or do anything else that's self-destructive. As I've noted (above), you are not a horrible person at all. You are a highly-sexual woman — that's normal and good, not "bad" — who is reasonably seeking advice because you have a complicated problem. There's nothing wrong with that.

....but rather, how to fix it.

Yes, I agree that should be your view of all this. I don't think "pulling it out" will be impossible, but you need to think carefully and proceed carefully as you go about it because, as you point out, you have a lot at stake.

You're right in what you said about sex being an important thing to me and something I know I would continue to need to have on a regular basis. I'm only 30, after all. I'm not about to totally give up enjoying sex.

No, of course you should not give up your pursuit of good sex, nor should Paul expect you to. Here's a point you might consider making when your intimate candle-lit conversation(s) with him, over a glass of wine (for him) and something non-alcoholic (for you), get to the point of gently telling him you need sex above-and-beyond what he is capable of giving you. I suggest mentioning that men reach their sexual peaks at about age 18 and tend to remain highly sexual in their twenties and into their thirties. Women, by contrast, tend to reach their sexual peaks around age 35. Thus, although you love him very much and want to spend your life with him, you need for him to realize he is well past his sexual prime while you are still approaching yours. Thus, you hope he will not be offended by your need to take lovers, and will realize that on an emotional level, you love only him.

Now, if Paul is 45 and has never before been married, or even if he has been married but is now divorced, you can assume his lack of sexual ability (as you described it) has resulted in a number of previous women — perhaps many previous women — ending their relationships with him. I strongly suspect you can also assume he has low self-confidence and low feelings of self-worth with regards to his ability to satisfy women.

You are thus probably in a strong position because Paul has a deep need to be accepted and desired by you. It is, very likely, highly important to him that you want to marry him. So, I suggest feeling some confidence (but not overconfidence, of course) as you move forward with your plans to make him your cuckold.

.... But there is this baby to consider, and the fact that I do love Paul very very much. We do have all of the things you listed as being important, including sexual attraction and "chemistry." It's just the satisfying part that is missing.

I agree it sounds like you have identified a good husband, and it's quite promising that you feel your relationship has all the qualities I suggested are important — except that you do not find Paul satisfying in bed.

To improve this situation, I suggest introducing Paul to cunninglingus. You can do this by mentioning, during one of your candlelight conversations with him, that you would find it very satisfying if he were to learn to go down on you and make love to you with his tongue. Mention that this is a time-honored technique for pleasing women, and you would really-really appreciate it if he would read:

Cunnilingus: A How to Guide for Orally Stimulating the Vulva

which is part of the extensive web site:

The-Clitoris.com: Dedicated to Female Sexual Pleasure and Health

You will need to teach Paul to make love to you in ways you find satisfying, and cunninglingus, I suggest, is the place to start because of his problems with premature ejaculation and small penis size.

More later on the problem of your lie about who sired your baby-in-the-oven (as Saraha might put it).

Best wishes—

Custer

 

[knockedup]

Once again,thanks to all of you who took the time to offer me your advice on how to go about getting Paul, my soon to be husband to be a willing cuckold. I really think it is not only the best,but really the only way to insure we have a long and happy marriage. I know Paul is going to be a cuckold because I know I am going to want and need to keep having sex with other men whether he knows about it and agrees to it or not and as Custer pointed out that is the definition of a cuckold ...simply a man with an unfaithful wife.(I had looked it up too)..My question was how to make him a "willing" cuckold so I wouldn't be cheating when I did have sex with other men and so I wouldn;t have to worry about sneaking around and possibly getting caught and feelings being hurt if i did get caught and all the troubles that could lead to. I would definitely prefer to do it out in the open and at least with his acceptance ,if not his approval..
As some of you have pointed out ,he might even like it.

I think you all have given me alot of good ideas on how to go about getting him to accept that I need to have sex with other men to be satisfied sexually.I think one very good idea which a couple of you suggested is to not come out and say that I didn't enjoy having sex with him at all becasu ehe;s so small.... I did enjoy the intimacy and being "made love" to..I just wasn;t able to orgasm...
I think it would be good to tell him that I have this wild and slutty side to me and that in order to satisfy it I need to have sex with men who have really big cocks and who just want to fuck me rather than making love to me the way he did.,,which is pretty muc true, Id just be leavng out the part where it wasn;t satisfying with him.....I'm pretty sure he realizes he doesn;t have a "really big cock" and I'm sure he would rather think of what we did as making love to me ,not "just fucking" me so so I think he would understand that if I needed that I'd have to get it from other men. He does tell me he loves that I am so "sexy" and I think he might see that as another aspect of my sexiness. I also know he takes great pleasure in making me happy so if I told him it woul dmake me happy to be able to do that he would want to let me do it.. We only had sex that one time ,but i think it would be good if I started palying with is cock ona regular basis which would get him used to "having sex" that way and also give me good oppurtunites to start talking about my need for big cocks..I woul dbe able to see if the idea got him more excited or put a damper onhis excitement. I could also let him play wit h me and let him see how excited i got when we talked about.it.

I think that would be a good start and I could see how that goes..hopefully if he does like the idea I could then tell him that I already an havng sex with other men,and then tell him that I was also doing it before we got engaged and that the baby"might not" be his.I do realize i need to tell him it isn't eventually,(didn;t know that was such a "hot button: subject on here) but by sayingit that way I cans ee his reaction to the idea .He might say it doesn;t matter to him As a few of you mentoned it;s not uncommon for men to marry women who already have kids and rasie them as thier own..Even .f he does get really upset and at worst want to "break up" I think there is avery good chance he will get over it ..att least I hope so.

.

 

[knockedup]

Custer

I realized that I had negelected to thank you giving me the link to that "scinece of cuckolding" article..It's great in that it presents cuckolding in such a positive light and explains why it's completely natural for a woman to need to have sex with men other than her husband and how it can help, rather than hurt a marriage when the husband becomes a cuckold. I'm definitely going to have Paul read it as part of my effort to have him accept being a cuckold.

What could be really helpful to me inthat affort is that besides explaining the benefits of cuckolding in general, the article specifically talks about 2 reasons for a husband to be cuckolded that relate directly to my situation with Paul.One is the relationship betwen age and sex drive,and the fact that a woman's sex drive peaks is peaking while a man;s is waning as they get older, and is especially rleevant if the husband is older than the wife.Paul is , of course ,considerably older than me(15 yrs) and he has even asked me multiple times if that bothered me. I've alwasy assured him it doesn't ..which is the truth ..I like that he is mature and stable and of course that he is at a place in his life that he wants to be married (he never has been).I've asked him if he minded the age difference and of course he laughed and said of course not...what man his age wouldn't want a pretty, young wife.Come to think of it he mentioned "sexy" too. and I could certainly remind him of that and point out that part of being sexy is wanting and needed alot of sex and explain that I do need that.,but that I figured with him being older he didn;t need it as much..which I'm pretty sure is the case anyway since he has never made a big effort to get me to have sex with him and it was me who initiated it when we did. I'd say I didn;t make an issue of it when we were dating because I enjoyed being with him and was falling in love with him based on all his other woderful qualities such as being romantic and caring. I could also say it wasn;t an issue then becasue I was ,in fact ,having sex with other men that I knew. That would be a perfect way to intitially guage his reaction to the idea of me having sex with other men without risking a major hurt or blowup. He might be upset about it , but I could point out ,as you did to me, that when we were "just dating" niether of us was entitled to the expection of exclusivity and I don't think he would wantto breakup over things I did before we were even offically going to be married.Two really good things could come of it though,and that is he'd probably ask if I wasnted to continue havingsex wih other men, and that's whe I could tell him I did, or he might completely surprise me and say he figured I was doing that and it didn;t bother him.Either way it would get thing smovingit the right direction.

The other thing the article pointed out which is very apt was the correlation between male penis size and cuckolding, and the need ,in general of the female of a species to mate with smaller males but have sex with more well endowed males.It also specificaly said thet men with smaller penises would be more likely to accept being cuckolded sice they "knew" deep down they couldnt satisfy their wife themsleves.I'm pretty sure Paul knows he;s very small..and that that is at least partly why he didn;t,and still hasn;t made having sex with me much of an issue...that and he may not have a high sex drive ..although he did get hard and come very quickly when we did have sex. It dd say that smaller males tended to put more importance on taking care of the othe nonsexual needs of the female and that the "bonded" males where often content with having masturbation be thier primary sexual activity while thoe bigger males took care of the females sexual needs..I think you may be right when you said that Paul probably has low self confidence when it ocmes to being able to saitsfy a woman sexually, and that could be why he hasn;t been aggressive sexually and also why he is so loving and romantic and more attuned satisfying my emotional needs ..which of ocurse I love, I could point out where the article says that cuckolding tends to make men more attuned to those things and while he alreadyis that way, cuckolding him would make it possible for both oof us to concnetrte on keepingone another satisfied emotionally thrroughout our marriage.

How does that sound?

 

[Mr Small Mushroom]

this tart deserves a shallow grave......

Deceitful, self absorbed, dishonest, selfish, I could go on.

Making him think it's his child stinks. You clearly have no regard for anyone but yourself.

what about the child ? this cheap cheat deserves no-one. she should admit it,get dumped and abort .paul deserves a real woman that loves him. btw people i think she has a nerve expecting any help. what has her situation got 2do with cuckoldry???? nothing she is a cheating liar and it angers me that the child WILL SUFFER and PAUL.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Knockedup,

Custer — I realized that I had neglected to thank you for giving me the link to that "science of cuckolding" article. It's great in that it presents cuckolding in such a positive light and explains why it's completely natural for a woman to need to have sex with men other than her husband, and how it can help, rather than hurt a marriage, when the husband becomes a cuckold.

You're welcome. I thought you might consider it helpful, perhaps very helpful, and it sounds like you did. That's good to hear.

I'm definitely going to have Paul read it as part of my effort to have him accept being a cuckold.

Good. As I said earlier, I think it may be very helpful to him, also.

What could be really helpful to me in that effort is that besides explaining the benefits of cuckolding in general, the article specifically talks about 2 reasons for a husband to be cuckolded that relate directly to my situation with Paul. One is the relationship between age and sex drive, and the fact that a woman's sex drive is peaking while a man's is waning as they get older. This is especially relevant if the husband is older than the wife. Paul is, of course, considerably older than me (15 yrs) and he has even asked me multiple times if that bothers me. I've always assured him it doesn't, which is the truth. I like that he is mature and stable and of course that he is at a place in his life that he wants to be married (he never has been). I've asked him if he minded the age difference and of course he laughed and said of course not.... what man his age wouldn't want a pretty, young wife. Come to think of it he mentioned "sexy" too. I could certainly remind him of that and point out that part of being sexy is wanting and needing a lot of sex, and explain that I do need that.

I think you're converging on a good strategy for persuading Paul to accept becoming your cuckold husband on, essentially, the day you marry him, and for persuading him to accept both the necessity and the desirability of subsequently having a continuing "hot wife / cuckold husband" marriage with you.

But, I figured with him being older he didn't need it as much, which I'm pretty sure is the case. He has never made a big effort to get me to have sex with him; I initiated it when we did. I'd say I didn't make an issue of it when we were dating because I enjoyed being with him and was falling in love with him based on all his other wonderful qualities such as being romantic and caring. I could also say it wasn't an issue then because I was, in fact, having sex with other men I knew. That would be a perfect way to initially gauge his reaction to the idea of me having sex with other men without risking a major hurt or blowup.

I agree with you. Paul not making persistent and continuing efforts to get you into bed while dating you is a strong indication, I would say, that he has a low sex drive and, quite possibly, a low opinion of his own sexual abilities as well. That you were the initiator on the only occasion you had sex with him is actually quite positive (in my opinion), because it implies you will be able to initiate sex with Paul of whatever kind pleases you, *when* you want it (not necessarily penis-penetration sex), and you will not have to fend off efforts by him to initiate sex with you when you *don't* want it — because, for instance, you fucked a lover earlier that same day and are momentarily satiated.

He might be upset about it, but I could point out, as you did to me, that when we were "just dating" neither of us was entitled to an expectation of exclusivity with the other, and I don't think he would want to break up over things I did before we were even officially going to be married. Two really good things could come of it. One is, he'd probably ask if I want to continue having sex wih other men, and that's when I could tell him I do. Another is, he might completely surprise me and say he figured I was doing that and it didn't bother him. Either way, it would get things moving in the right direction.

I think that would be a good thing to point out to Paul, and I think your assessment that your proposed approach will get things moving in the right direction is very likely to be right.

The other thing the article pointed out which is very apt was the correlation between male penis size and cuckolding, and the need,in general, of the female of a species to mate with smaller males but have sex with more well-endowed males.

I'm not sure that's true, entirely. Some men whose wives have made them their cuckolds have larger-than-average cocks, and some have very large cocks. There are some examples of such men on this forum. The personal characteristics that cause you to be attracted to Paul and be in love with him are not, I would guess, a simple function of cock size. There are probably other factors, perhaps many other factors, that are involved. There may be some correlation, though, between a man's cock size and his wife's inclination to cuckold him in some average sense.... but a lot also depends on the wife's personality. By definition, half of all women have "below median" sex drive for females, just as half of all men, by definition, have "below median" sex drive for males.

It also specifically said that men with smaller penises would be more likely to accept being cuckolded since they "know" deep down they can't satisfy their wives by themselves. I'm pretty sure Paul knows he's very small.... and that is at least partly why he didn't, and still hasn't, made having sex with me much of an issue. That, and he may not have a high sex drive.

Paul's behavior, as you have described it, suggests to me he has a low sex drive. I can't make any judgment as to whether that's related to the size of his penis.... but he's almost certainly aware (perhaps acutely aware) he has a small penis, since vast numbers of photos that include men's penis's, and penis size statistics, can now be found easily on the Internet.

Although he did get hard and come very quickly when we had sex.

Premature ejaculation is a widespread problem among men. I don't know whether there are medical methods available for treating it, but it seems to me it would be worth looking into. Have you considered asking him to wear (e.g.) 3 condoms next time you fuck him, to reduce sensation, then — after you orgasm or "enough time" has passed — asking him to take off 1 or 2 (or all) of them, so he can cum?

.... I could point out where the article says that cuckolding tends to make men more attuned to those things (being attentive to the wife) and, while he already is that way, cuckolding him would make it possible for both of us to concentrate on keeping one another satisfied emotionally throughout our marriage.

Traditionally, a man is highly attentive to his woman and woos her in every way possible while courting. Then, after he has won her — i.e., after they get married — he becomes less attentive, then less and less so as time passes. There is, I suspect, an especially high risk of this if the husband has a low sex drive to begin with. Cuckolding by the wife, if accepted by the husband (so it isn't a source of conflict), offers high potential for ensuring his continued attentiveness, because he is — in essence — in continuing competition with other men for his wife's affections. Cuckolding is most likely to improve the quality of marriage (in my opinion) if the husband agrees to remain faithful while his wife enjoys a variety of lovers.

How does that sound?

I think you have converged on a good strategy, and are heading in the right direction.

Best wishes—

Custer

 

[Mr Small Mushroom]

exactly ......

im inclined to agree with Mushroom here, it's one thing to have a slutty wife, but another entirely to be TRICKED into marrying someone by lying about a baby being theirs.

most everything on this site is either consentual or at least with the knowledge of both parties involved, this on the other hand is pure deception and maliciousness, and i really cant believe you would come here looking for people to tell you it was ok to do this to someone

this is true ......

 

[cuckoldax]

I dunno about all these other guys with the negative feedback, thats alright to have your opinion, thats what its all about. But for me personally its the idea of having a slutty bitchy wife who so inconsiderate to have another man's baby is a real turn-on, being a sexy bitch to your fiance makes it all the more appealing.

 

[wifepleaser2007]

It's just wrong

I agree with most of the other men who have posted. If Paul is a really good man, and your really love him, then dont hurt him. He has feelings for you which are very strong. There are dimensions to relationships and marriage beyond sex. Perhaps you can get toys and be satisfied that way with your husband, or explore other areas of sensuality or role play. But to ask him to be a cuck just because his dick is small is just wrong my dear.

wifepleaser2007