New Year, New Thread
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Well, sadly, all the prayers were no match this time as he passed away earlier today.
Things took a downward turn early this morning and he didn't have the strength to rally back.
I hoped for the funeural to be on Friday and maybe have Sunday alone without family all around but that's not to be either a as its on Saturday
She stayed over with her mom and I stayed till her other sister arrived and then after much ado I came home to sleep
Things took a downward turn early this morning and he didn't have the strength to rally back.
I hoped for the funeural to be on Friday and maybe have Sunday alone without family all around but that's not to be either a as its on Saturday
She stayed over with her mom and I stayed till her other sister arrived and then after much ado I came home to sleep
Time and patience are the only true things which brings healing and closure.
During such sadness we can look for small positive lights which I see two of.
1. Reading your words from the beginning, this tragic event suddenly occurred and his passing was relatively short. How many of us , deep down ,fear our own mortality being prolonged, bed ridden for years with love oned suffering over a long period of time?
2. Steve, see all the many people who have spoken up here with concern? Know and understand your life's story is read and has affect with a large group of people who may live their live/dreams thru your words. They learn. They live. We appreciate you for all your time sharing what you share in this forum.
I truly hope these thoughts will give some small morsel of positive thoughts however brief.
Regards as always.......
During such sadness we can look for small positive lights which I see two of.
1. Reading your words from the beginning, this tragic event suddenly occurred and his passing was relatively short. How many of us , deep down ,fear our own mortality being prolonged, bed ridden for years with love oned suffering over a long period of time?
2. Steve, see all the many people who have spoken up here with concern? Know and understand your life's story is read and has affect with a large group of people who may live their live/dreams thru your words. They learn. They live. We appreciate you for all your time sharing what you share in this forum.
I truly hope these thoughts will give some small morsel of positive thoughts however brief.
Regards as always.......
Hey all. Thanks so much for the well wishes and condolences, I've passed them along to Sue in sentiment.
So far, it's hardest on her mom who was the one who heard the commotion and had to call for help. Even when she's not there, her mind is still there. In a way, it's somewhat fortunate that we've embarked on this next phase of our relationship as I know she's very much appreciated my attention, help and encouragement and - for me - I know in the past I'd have probably wanted some kind of sex with her - but now, she knows I am masturbating when I am horny and she even said "thank you" to me for not bothering her with my desires.
Our kids and probably another relative or two will be here starting either tonight or tomorrow for the viewing and then the whole shebang funeral on Saturday.
We're not sure what's going to happen with her mom now. She's still a bit more capable so not sure if she'll stay where they moved to or if it now has too many bad memories. I guess we'll all sort that out over the next few weeks.
So far, it's hardest on her mom who was the one who heard the commotion and had to call for help. Even when she's not there, her mind is still there. In a way, it's somewhat fortunate that we've embarked on this next phase of our relationship as I know she's very much appreciated my attention, help and encouragement and - for me - I know in the past I'd have probably wanted some kind of sex with her - but now, she knows I am masturbating when I am horny and she even said "thank you" to me for not bothering her with my desires.
Our kids and probably another relative or two will be here starting either tonight or tomorrow for the viewing and then the whole shebang funeral on Saturday.
We're not sure what's going to happen with her mom now. She's still a bit more capable so not sure if she'll stay where they moved to or if it now has too many bad memories. I guess we'll all sort that out over the next few weeks.
Hope all goes well for Sue and all her family at the funeral tomorrow. I'm sure she can rely on you Steve for all the support she needs. It may be a while before things get back into something resembling normal for either of you. Only time can truly help I fear, you have enough, just let it ride. My condolences.
She was upset last night but also began realizing that he wasn't the same really after the stroke and that maybe this is for the better and he's in a better place now. Unfortunately, her mom now becomes the real issue as she isn't comfortable living alone and has temporarily moved in with Sue's sister until things are sorted out, with stairs in our house, it wasn't going to work for her to be here. I think as soon as all of that is somewhat settled, things will begin to return.
She just wanted to be held last night and in bed I was sure she felt me get hard a few times as she let me hold her and surprised me when she moved my hand to hold her breasts a few times as she spooned back against me. But I also knew she wasn't looking for sex, just wanted the feeling of closeness, when we lay together with the lights out she told me that "you can take care of that if you need to honey" and she said she loved the hugs and closeness. I did as she suggested as I was horny and when I'd cleaned up and rolled over to go to sleep a few minutes later she again surprised me when she turned over towards me and kissed my shoulder and said she liked that I felt comfortable enough to do that when I needed and she kissed me and said she loved me.
What she doesn't know and I won't tell her is that about 3am this morning that I woke up in bed and I both felt and hear something. I was facing in her direction and I opened my eyes and I was sure she was masturbating. I snored a bit and rolled onto my back from my side facing her and I pretended to deepen my breathing slowly as if I were falling back asleep. She must have liked my new position because as I settled in I felt her begin to move again and this time I saw her move a little further away from me and when I didn't move, she slowly raised her knees and I could feel the rhythm change from how she was rubbing herself. It wasn't till I heard the squishy sounds as she struggled to keep her orgasm quiet that I realized she was using a dildo, I could feel how she was moving and I realized that this must be how she'd felt earlier when she lay next to me. When I heard her breathing calming, as she brought her knees down she reached onto the headboard and took two tissues and I can only assume she wiped off the dildo before putting it back into her night-stand. (I couldn't tell which one she used as I slept in late this morning).
We have our spare room free now as our son went back to school today and our daughter will be leaving as soon as she and Sue return from seeing her mom.
I have to say that it's been easy to be helpful and supportive when I know that there won't be any sex involved and that I should simply take it off my mind with her. I know she's noticed that as a difference and I have to say it feels nice to be able to feel this way and be okay with it and not, as I know I'd felt in the past, be starting to try to plan how or when I can somehow have sex with her. It's strange to look back and see how much of my time or desires were geared around when I might have sex with her and my desire to wait and be horny to release it with her now seems kind of selfish on my part. This coupled with how I felt last night where it was exciting and very satisfying to listen to her satisfy herself as I had earlier.
She just wanted to be held last night and in bed I was sure she felt me get hard a few times as she let me hold her and surprised me when she moved my hand to hold her breasts a few times as she spooned back against me. But I also knew she wasn't looking for sex, just wanted the feeling of closeness, when we lay together with the lights out she told me that "you can take care of that if you need to honey" and she said she loved the hugs and closeness. I did as she suggested as I was horny and when I'd cleaned up and rolled over to go to sleep a few minutes later she again surprised me when she turned over towards me and kissed my shoulder and said she liked that I felt comfortable enough to do that when I needed and she kissed me and said she loved me.
What she doesn't know and I won't tell her is that about 3am this morning that I woke up in bed and I both felt and hear something. I was facing in her direction and I opened my eyes and I was sure she was masturbating. I snored a bit and rolled onto my back from my side facing her and I pretended to deepen my breathing slowly as if I were falling back asleep. She must have liked my new position because as I settled in I felt her begin to move again and this time I saw her move a little further away from me and when I didn't move, she slowly raised her knees and I could feel the rhythm change from how she was rubbing herself. It wasn't till I heard the squishy sounds as she struggled to keep her orgasm quiet that I realized she was using a dildo, I could feel how she was moving and I realized that this must be how she'd felt earlier when she lay next to me. When I heard her breathing calming, as she brought her knees down she reached onto the headboard and took two tissues and I can only assume she wiped off the dildo before putting it back into her night-stand. (I couldn't tell which one she used as I slept in late this morning).
We have our spare room free now as our son went back to school today and our daughter will be leaving as soon as she and Sue return from seeing her mom.
I have to say that it's been easy to be helpful and supportive when I know that there won't be any sex involved and that I should simply take it off my mind with her. I know she's noticed that as a difference and I have to say it feels nice to be able to feel this way and be okay with it and not, as I know I'd felt in the past, be starting to try to plan how or when I can somehow have sex with her. It's strange to look back and see how much of my time or desires were geared around when I might have sex with her and my desire to wait and be horny to release it with her now seems kind of selfish on my part. This coupled with how I felt last night where it was exciting and very satisfying to listen to her satisfy herself as I had earlier.
I understand the new regime has started Steve, but it seems a bit sad that after her father died Sue still couldn't bring herself to relieve herself with you in some way. There would have been no shame or real complication in restarting her process, after all her expected start with Paul has had to also be delayed. It almost seems like she has expressed a dislike of sexual closeness with you rather than a preference to sex with Paul. Maybe she felt that if she 'cracked' this weekend, she would not mentally be in a position to start with Paul soon but in time I think you should ask how she felt and maybe reveal that you knew she masturbated on the same night you did. Your only connection is now honest communication. Don't start with a mutual cover up.
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