SoonToBe said:LOL - for sure she's the alpha right now in our triangle.
I'm kind of getting on edge as she's started to tell me more about her trip - and how it felt to "be his" for so long. She knew it would turn me on but I also totally felt that she didn't dump it all on me either so I'm anticipating more details as this week goes by.
One thing that has me perturbed right now is that after letting me see her when she got changed when she got home, she's kept to wearing panties since then - including to bed last night and this morning, she kept a towel around her waist till she pulled a pair on underneath it. I asked her what was up and she said that she "just wants to prolong the feeling" and she asked me if it was okay if she kept them on for the next few days. I was kind of speechless but I nodded yes and she proceeded to carry on as normal only instead of putting her makeup on naked in front of the mirror, she had panties on. I know she saw me looking and I did tell her that I missed seeing her naked. She just smiled back at me.
What she has shared is what she'd said to me before she'd left. That she wanted to "fuck a lot" and she confirmed they did. I did ask about the 9 times and she smiled and said that she'd lost count of how many times she orgasmed with him but did say that they fucked a lot of times when just she came and he didn't. She said she loved how it felt to be treated like that - she said it was so nice that he made her feel so good without expecting to always cum in her. I told her that it probably just made him hornier for the next time and she said "yes, that was the point".
Steve,
Thank you for the confirmation that you believe that Sue is the alpha right now in your respective relationship triangle as it current is. This does work for more couples than would actually admit to it. Some men cannot handle having a wife or even a woman as the clear alpha and those same men will tend to critic relationships which have embraced this type of arrangement.
You mentioned that you were on edge when Sue began to share details about her trip and what it truly felt like to ‘belong to Paul, to be his’ for the extended trip. If Sue felt this rising discomfort it would explain why she may have held back from completely share her experiences and feelings about the experience. Even your word ‘dump’ sounds a bit defensive, sounds as if maybe you are very uncomfortable with what she has been sharing with you and that you’re not as receptive as she might have hoped. Maybe she will share more with you as she believes you have become more receptive to the information. This type of exploration is not for every couple, and not every couple can handle the experience of being apart with the inclusion of another partner within the triad.
As we look at your experiences with forms of denial; you mentioned that you’re perturbed. Were you actually expecting that Sue would welcome a sexual reclaiming of sorts on her return home from the trip away with Paul? Many of your follower are not a fan of the denial while others are very much into the denial, some of made suggestions about chastity devices, others have suggest that any form of denial is bad. Personally I believe that you and Sue should be on the same page and do what works best for both of you either with or without the inclusions of another person (man/woman) within the relationship arrangement.
You are describing a form of extended denial that you have described in the past, the difference being now it would seem that on some level you are feeling that uncomfortable gray blurred area in between the seemingly clear lines which seems to be raising some concerns within you. In many ways it would seem that Sue is attempting to be sexual exclusive with Paul (with your encouragement) and it would seem that her goal is to feel as if she belongs to Paul as a monogamous women which in my opinion does involved a level of emotional connection that neither you or Sue would openly admit to. While you are her husband, you are truly no longer her sexual partner, yes she has given you a taste on father’s day of what is no longer yours, and yes for that one day you were the ‘other’ man not her primary sexual partner.
Sue keeping her panties on, restricting you from seeing ‘her’ completely naked is something she has done before and it is in its own way a form of denial, a form of keeping herself for her primary sexual partner Paul. While she may have told you that that she "just wants to prolong the feeling" and she asked you if it was okay if she kept them on for the next few days. This has been something she has done before and does seem natural for her within the progression of your triad arrangement. Sue may have reached that point of where she will prefer to only be completely naked with Paul. I am sure this is an unintended consequence of your encouragement of her to see Paul as her primary sexual partner. She knows that you miss seeing her naked and that is ok with her and should be with you at this point if you truly do see her as your alpha and Paul as her primary sexual partner.
Sue is also telling you something that every husband, every sexual partner should know and understand. It is not about one person or another, is not about a man simply getting himself off, Sue has told you before that she does not like feeling as if a man is masturbating within her, she wants to feel as if that man is making love to her, putting her pleasure before his own. Sue has pointed out in her own way that she likes to be the center of the attention, ideally in her scenario she enjoys having multiple orgasms before her sexual partner takes his own tern to release. Most men are selfish and do not realize this, those that do release it tend to make much better long term lovers. As you have said, she said to you that she loved how it felt to be treated like that - she said it was so nice that he made her feel so good without expecting to always cum in her. This is something that most experienced type beta men have evolved to understand, and not ever alpha man truly understands; it is good that Paul seems to understand how to truly enjoy women, a sexual partner, through making sure that she is completely satisfied before he takes his own turn to have a physical release of his own.
While she may never again see you as an alpha, she may see you as an equal in the future if you make the choice to put away your beta desires although you will need to put the constant need to have a physical orgasmic release aside for the sake of reconnecting with Sue from time to time. Learn to have intimacy, sexual and non-sexual, learn to be able to have intercourse without having a physical release; it cannot continue to be your focus if you want Sue to be the center of your world. I can tell you from my own personal experience, my current wife has more orgasmic releases in a month than I do in a year and no I do not currently use a chastity device as some of your following do. With that said, your body will learn to have an orgasmic release without a physical release and Sue will appreciate you even more for it. Yes I know, many of your followers will actually flame me for this posted reply.
SS