The first time for us.
- Thread starterThe Grinch
- Start date
Grinch,
In what sense would this amount to "getting out of jail free?" But, setting aside that detail, it strikes me as a rather good suggestion.
Yes....
Is this an offer you can't refuse, or what?
Unless, that is, she's been assigned to work for you (i.e., you're formally her boss). That could be a problem. Barring a complication of this nature, I'd say "go for it."
Hm.... yes, there's always the possibility of your wife as competitor for the affections of any lover you might take on. But, why would she be a problem? Does she regularly come down and cruise your company, looking for new employees and nubile young interns to fuck? My impression is, most of the time you don't even know where she is.
—Custer
The Grinch said:
In what sense would this amount to "getting out of jail free?" But, setting aside that detail, it strikes me as a rather good suggestion.
The Grinch said:
Yes....
The Grinch said:
Is this an offer you can't refuse, or what?
Unless, that is, she's been assigned to work for you (i.e., you're formally her boss). That could be a problem. Barring a complication of this nature, I'd say "go for it."
The Grinch said:
Hm.... yes, there's always the possibility of your wife as competitor for the affections of any lover you might take on. But, why would she be a problem? Does she regularly come down and cruise your company, looking for new employees and nubile young interns to fuck? My impression is, most of the time you don't even know where she is.
—Custer
Grinch,
Does your wife know this is coming, or is it going to be a surprise?
That was right kind of her.
And you said....? Anyway, this would, in fact, seem to suggest her and your heads are (to put it as mildly as possible) not in the same space.
—Custer
The Grinch said:
Does your wife know this is coming, or is it going to be a surprise?
The Grinch said:
That was right kind of her.
The Grinch said:
And you said....? Anyway, this would, in fact, seem to suggest her and your heads are (to put it as mildly as possible) not in the same space.
—Custer
Here is what I don't get.
And just so anyone reading doesn't think I'm busting Grinch's balls, Grinch and I even "chat in PMs". I'm just trying to help/understand the thoughts of someone I think is an "ok Joe".
Anyway, back to what I don't get. You seem to be ok with the sex part as long as you aren't watching. At that point,,,,, if she is having fun and enjoys it, what difference does it make if he "respects her" or not. Respect has MANY levels and those levels can change in different settings.
When April does gangbangs, she ENJOYS the VERY intense feeling she gets being used by several men as a sex toy. No respect wanted/needed/expected. For that night, she is nothing more than a cock holster for them and she loves every minute of it.
On the flip side, she has had men she "makes love to". In fact one guy has been involved in both areas.
If a guy who hates me/April comes up and says to her "you're a dirty little slut" he is going to take a beating. Now, if some guy is hammering her from behind,,,,,,, there still isn't nescisarilly (sp) respect, but its a whole different deal. <----- there is the difference in where "respect" comes in. That first guy gave her no respect and will hurt,,,,, the second guy gave her no respect,,, but who cares?
I guess my point is, on that part anyway, like I said, if YOU have no issues of the actual sex, and SHE has no issues with the respect part,,,,,,,, where is the problem????
The rest of your comments, I totally "get".
And just so anyone reading doesn't think I'm busting Grinch's balls, Grinch and I even "chat in PMs". I'm just trying to help/understand the thoughts of someone I think is an "ok Joe".
Anyway, back to what I don't get. You seem to be ok with the sex part as long as you aren't watching. At that point,,,,, if she is having fun and enjoys it, what difference does it make if he "respects her" or not. Respect has MANY levels and those levels can change in different settings.
When April does gangbangs, she ENJOYS the VERY intense feeling she gets being used by several men as a sex toy. No respect wanted/needed/expected. For that night, she is nothing more than a cock holster for them and she loves every minute of it.
On the flip side, she has had men she "makes love to". In fact one guy has been involved in both areas.
If a guy who hates me/April comes up and says to her "you're a dirty little slut" he is going to take a beating. Now, if some guy is hammering her from behind,,,,,,, there still isn't nescisarilly (sp) respect, but its a whole different deal. <----- there is the difference in where "respect" comes in. That first guy gave her no respect and will hurt,,,,, the second guy gave her no respect,,, but who cares?
I guess my point is, on that part anyway, like I said, if YOU have no issues of the actual sex, and SHE has no issues with the respect part,,,,,,,, where is the problem????
The rest of your comments, I totally "get".
Hm.... I wouldn't prelude some additional thought & discussions w/ your wife.
Grinch,
Maybe you should bring up this point and talk with your wife about it. I suggest this because it strikes me as possible your wife stays with her "long term" lover, and does what he tells her to do, at least in part because he has a relatively high income and is "at" a higher socioeconomic. level.
According to Robert Baker (in "Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex", 1996, 319 pp), when a married woman divorces her husband and re-marries a lover, the lover is virtually *always* a man with higher socioeconomic status. I would strongly recommend reading Baker's book carefully, from cover to cover, before making a final decision re. divorcing your wife. It won't be a painful experience; it's a fascinating book. Once you start, you may, in fact be unable to put it down. You might encourage your wife to read it also, if she's the type who reads books. (Incidentally, this book was reprinted in paperbook in 2007 with a slightly different subtitle ["Sperm Wars:" ...followed by something about bedroom games].) But, it's the same book.)
This would be further reason to bring up this topic, as noted above, and talk with your wife about it. To put it in blunt transactional terms, the question would be: how high a price is she willing to pay, in the currency of her sexual and emotional satisfaction and her personal happiness, for the "reward" of a step up the socioeconomic ladder?
—Custer
Grinch,
The Grinch said:
Maybe you should bring up this point and talk with your wife about it. I suggest this because it strikes me as possible your wife stays with her "long term" lover, and does what he tells her to do, at least in part because he has a relatively high income and is "at" a higher socioeconomic. level.
According to Robert Baker (in "Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex", 1996, 319 pp), when a married woman divorces her husband and re-marries a lover, the lover is virtually *always* a man with higher socioeconomic status. I would strongly recommend reading Baker's book carefully, from cover to cover, before making a final decision re. divorcing your wife. It won't be a painful experience; it's a fascinating book. Once you start, you may, in fact be unable to put it down. You might encourage your wife to read it also, if she's the type who reads books. (Incidentally, this book was reprinted in paperbook in 2007 with a slightly different subtitle ["Sperm Wars:" ...followed by something about bedroom games].) But, it's the same book.)
The Grinch said:
This would be further reason to bring up this topic, as noted above, and talk with your wife about it. To put it in blunt transactional terms, the question would be: how high a price is she willing to pay, in the currency of her sexual and emotional satisfaction and her personal happiness, for the "reward" of a step up the socioeconomic ladder?
—Custer
<<The strange thing is, watching her on the video, in the one on one sessions, is very sexy.>>
Shit!! For your sake, I was hoping you'd have said it did nothing for you.
Buddy, figure out what you want WITHOUT your penis involved...he ain't your friend in this matter. I know you love her (I know YOU know you love her), but her head is fucked by this bastard. And if you cave in, I fear nothing will change. Even if you don't divorce, I think you gotta kick her ass out...for a few months anyway. From what you've written, I just can't see any good coming from a standard reconciliation--she just ain't there yet.
To CIP: I can relate to the idea of the wife being used as fuck meat (as long as the wife is into it)....but I think from Grinch's prior postings, he knows (or at least, feels) his wife ain't into it, but accepts it; hence his sense of revulsion...do I read that right, Grinch?
T.
Shit!! For your sake, I was hoping you'd have said it did nothing for you.
Buddy, figure out what you want WITHOUT your penis involved...he ain't your friend in this matter. I know you love her (I know YOU know you love her), but her head is fucked by this bastard. And if you cave in, I fear nothing will change. Even if you don't divorce, I think you gotta kick her ass out...for a few months anyway. From what you've written, I just can't see any good coming from a standard reconciliation--she just ain't there yet.
To CIP: I can relate to the idea of the wife being used as fuck meat (as long as the wife is into it)....but I think from Grinch's prior postings, he knows (or at least, feels) his wife ain't into it, but accepts it; hence his sense of revulsion...do I read that right, Grinch?
T.
What's this "peace talks" stuff? Is the plot thickening....?
Grinch,
I too, like April, am blown away that your wife's lover would record those insults for posterity. "Astonishing" does not begin to describe this failure of intelligence....
Yes, I would think so....
I would suggest sending a bill for *all* of your and her divorce costs to your wife's lover (the one who abused your phone recorder at length), with a short note briefly reminding him of his offer to, in effect, "buy" your wife by paying the costs of her divorce from you. His phone message suggests he probably does not have in mind making good on that offer, but it seems a worthwhile point to make.
But, do you actually intend to divorce your wife....? Or was serving her with divorce papers merely the latest salvo in an ongoing (rather hardball) negotiation....?
—Custer
Grinch,
The Grinch said:
I too, like April, am blown away that your wife's lover would record those insults for posterity. "Astonishing" does not begin to describe this failure of intelligence....
The Grinch said:
Yes, I would think so....
I would suggest sending a bill for *all* of your and her divorce costs to your wife's lover (the one who abused your phone recorder at length), with a short note briefly reminding him of his offer to, in effect, "buy" your wife by paying the costs of her divorce from you. His phone message suggests he probably does not have in mind making good on that offer, but it seems a worthwhile point to make.
The Grinch said:
But, do you actually intend to divorce your wife....? Or was serving her with divorce papers merely the latest salvo in an ongoing (rather hardball) negotiation....?
—Custer
What a wild ride--glad I'm not on it.
At this point, I only have one bit of practical advice: Move back into the house! My S-I-L left her hub many years ago and came to our house to start divorce proceedings. So I took her to my atty. and he told her to immediately go back home and live in the house with him--moving out constitutes abandonment of property. He COULD get it all in the divorce. She did go home, and they're still married 20 years later. So there's always THAT regretable outcome....
T.
At this point, I only have one bit of practical advice: Move back into the house! My S-I-L left her hub many years ago and came to our house to start divorce proceedings. So I took her to my atty. and he told her to immediately go back home and live in the house with him--moving out constitutes abandonment of property. He COULD get it all in the divorce. She did go home, and they're still married 20 years later. So there's always THAT regretable outcome....
T.
