The time has come

[Mrjohn]

It has taken me a while to get here but this weekend I plan to share with my wife that I would like to see her with other men.

She is very shy sexually and it's kind of 50/50 how this will go. I've also been struggling to give her good sex for a while so know she is missing out.

I have two questions if I may;
1. Any tips on starting the conversation and important things to mention.

2. What is the approach people have taken to find a guy or guys? I expect we would prefer a stranger but don't want to start offering my wife to randoms, well not just yet.

Any replies or messages gratefully received.

 

[RockHER]

It has taken me a while to get here but this weekend I plan to share with my wife that I would like to see her with other men.

She is very shy sexually and it's kind of 50/50 how this will go. I've also been struggling to give her good sex for a while so know she is missing out.

I have two questions if I may;
1. Any tips on starting the conversation and important things to mention.

2. What is the approach people have taken to find a guy or guys? I expect we would prefer a stranger but don't want to start offering my wife to randoms, well not just yet.

Any replies or messages gratefully received.

You just cant drop something like this on her. You should first probe. I suggest open with, "things seem to be getting stale in the bedroom dont you agree?" " Im really interested in what you think." "Do you have any ideas or things you would like to try?" "What are some of the wildest things youve ever thought about?" "Dont be shy, just blurt the wildest thing", "I wont judge you or get mad. Im really wanting some new ideas"

Be patient because you can freak her out. If things dont go where you would like give her a few days to think about it. Try to find a movie on cuckolding & make a comment or two about how hot that is. She will probably say ewww or youre sick, (even if it interests her too). Then tell her you wount judge her and she shouldnt you. Dont pressure her, give it time to develop.

 

[Kogjin]

Hi Mrjohn and congratulations on having the gut to persuit your desires.
RockHER has given you very good advices.
I can double on them. Don't just drop the bomb on her, lead the way to this. Have you tried hinting things to her before that?
Like did you slip some threesome stuff or asked her about her previous partnes if she had such of course, making her talk about past experience and keeping it cool. Things like that, slip some stuff like 'Im sure you were looking beautiful when you blew your boyfriend' and things like that.
Also try to introduce some sex toys, vibrator or dildo which are bigger than you. This way you can see her reaction if she gets off faster for example and talk about size. Also talk with her about your oppinion that you don't satisfy her enough and start suggesting things.
Anither thing is to try to encourage her to dress sexy go out with friends, usually girls are most relaxed when they are with they girls going out for drink. Ask if someone hit on her.
If she is sex shy and you drop a hammer with this may lead to her freaking out and you don't want that. Also make sure she doesn't think you do this only to get a pass on a girl also.
Good luck with turning her into a your hotwife!

 

[Mrjohn]

Hi both

Many thanks for your quick replies.

I should add some detail here. About two years ago I bought her a dildo that is a bit bigger and thicker than me and told her how much I like to use it on her as it's bigger. Since then we use it regularly, especially when I can't perform and it is something we both enjoy.

I have mentioned how much I like seeing her with it and despite being shy it does get her going.

I don't plan to blurt it out but do plan to work up to it, most likely when she has dressed up sexy and we are using the dildo.

So hopefully I'm.not going in totally cold but do appreciate your guidance about warming up to this slowly.

 

[Kogjin]

Hi again, this is good approach. When talking to her make sure you point to the fact you cannot perform sometimes and that you want her to be able to enjoy more and that it will make you happy.

 

[RockHER]

Hi both

Many thanks for your quick replies.

I should add some detail here. About two years ago I bought her a dildo that is a bit bigger and thicker than me and told her how much I like to use it on her as it's bigger. Since then we use it regularly, especially when I can't perform and it is something we both enjoy.

I have mentioned how much I like seeing her with it and despite being shy it does get her going.

I don't plan to blurt it out but do plan to work up to it, most likely when she has dressed up sexy and we are using the dildo.

So hopefully I'm.not going in totally cold but do appreciate your guidance about warming up to this slowly.

Another button to push is to tell her how turned on you get seeing her cunt lips being stretched around the dildo. The ask her if she would like for you to get her one with more girth. Stay in touch by email. I would like to know how you progress. I also have more suggestions that will probably help.

 

[Mrjohn]

Another button to push is to tell her how turned on you get seeing her cunt lips being stretched around the dildo. The ask her if she would like for you to get her one with more girth. Stay in touch by email. I would like to know how you progress. I also have more suggestions that will probably help.

Many thanks RockHER, appreciate you taking the time.

A larger dildo is definitely on the agenda.

 

[bcinu2]

It has taken me a while to get here but this weekend I plan to share with my wife that I would like to see her with other men.

She is very shy sexually and it's kind of 50/50 how this will go. I've also been struggling to give her good sex for a while so know she is missing out.

I have two questions if I may;
1. Any tips on starting the conversation and important things to mention.

2. What is the approach people have taken to find a guy or guys? I expect we would prefer a stranger but don't want to start offering my wife to randoms, well not just yet.

Any replies or messages gratefully received.

Let her pick out the guy

 

[Mrjohn]

Let her pick out the guy

Hey thanks for the advice.

That's the bit I'm not sure about, how do we do that safely?

 

[bcinu2]

one way might be to check at an adult book store for a swingers magazine that is covering your state. You can often make contact with a group of people in your area that meets and you'll find you will be invited to an event they are holding. When I was married my wife and I met some good people that way.You have a chance then of meeting some folks in a group setting and you will meet other like minded couples. It gives you the chance to assess people close up. You don't have to be with anybody or anything but you will make contact and in that way your wife gets a better sense of safety. She will also meet other woman in the lifestyle and will hear from them as to the do's and don'ts. We as males do not have the came concerns as your wife will have. It is a good way to start because we don't really have a bunch of friends let alone family what we are into as far as sex goes. I am from Elyria, Ohio near Cleveland. Feel free to drop a word or question anytime. If I am able to help I will. If nothing else I can point you in the right direction. Nice to meet ya, Bill

 

[RockHER]

Hey thanks for the advice.

That's the bit I'm not sure about, how do we do that safely?

The more patient you are the safer things will be. Friends/acquaintances are the best bet.There are many paths to this, but I suggest both you and wife do things together. Go to the water if you want to catch a fish- the neighborhood bar together, befriend the bartender & regulars. Then there are other avenues, dance clubs, dinner clubs, boating clubs, outdoor clubs, couples softball/volley ball, etc.

Im polite & attentive, but never forward or aggressive. Im attractive & well groomed, but not a super stud. After a while women feel safe with me & we connect. Ive been approached in a casino by a complete stranger while her hubby stayed back & smiled, and once by a couple in a businessman's bar (also by a group of swingers). A buddy found love in the gym.

Dont make it a mission, go for enjoyment & keep your eyes open. Women fuck for different reasons then men. Sit back & reassure her & things can happen.

 

[Mrjohn]

one way might be to check at an adult book store for a swingers magazine that is covering your state. You can often make contact with a group of people in your area that meets and you'll find you will be invited to an event they are holding. When I was married my wife and I met some good people that way.You have a chance then of meeting some folks in a group setting and you will meet other like minded couples. It gives you the chance to assess people close up. You don't have to be with anybody or anything but you will make contact and in that way your wife gets a better sense of safety. She will also meet other woman in the lifestyle and will hear from them as to the do's and don'ts. We as males do not have the came concerns as your wife will have. It is a good way to start because we don't really have a bunch of friends let alone family what we are into as far as sex goes. I am from Elyria, Ohio near Cleveland. Feel free to drop a word or question anytime. If I am able to help I will. If nothing else I can point you in the right direction. Nice to meet ya, Bill

Hi Bill, many thanks for your reply and comments.

 

[Mrjohn]

The more patient you are the safer things will be. Friends/acquaintances are the best bet.There are many paths to this, but I suggest both you and wife do things together. Go to the water if you want to catch a fish- the neighborhood bar together, befriend the bartender & regulars. Then there are other avenues, dance clubs, dinner clubs, boating clubs, outdoor clubs, couples softball/volley ball, etc.

Im polite & attentive, but never forward or aggressive. Im attractive & well groomed, but not a super stud. After a while women feel safe with me & we connect. Ive been approached in a casino by a complete stranger while her hubby stayed back & smiled, and once by a couple in a businessman's bar (also by a group of swingers). A buddy found love in the gym.

Dont make it a mission, go for enjoyment & keep your eyes open. Women fuck for different reasons then men. Sit back & reassure her & things can happen.

Thanks Rockher.

The friend/someone you know route does make sense but she has previously said that would concern her. Feels like it should be somebody she has met so isn't a complete stranger but equally is not too close to us.

 

[RockHER]

Thanks Rockher.

The friend/someone you know route does make sense but she has previously said that would concern her. Feels like it should be somebody she has met so isn't a complete stranger but equally is not too close to us.

Its a sure bet that both of you will have different opinions & comfort levels as time goes by. Its an evolving process. The point to remember is you both have to get out & socialize as a couple, not go cock hunting. You will meet other friends of friends who may be the ticket.

If & when circumstances appear is when it will happen. Cant catch fish on a dry hook

 

[Mrjohn]

Its a sure bet that both of you will have different opinions & comfort levels as time goes by. Its an evolving process. The point to remember is you both have to get out & socialize as a couple, not go cock hunting. You will meet other friends of friends who may be the ticket.

If & when circumstances appear is when it will happen. Cant catch fish on a dry hook

Sorry yes, totally see what you mean now.

 

[RockHER]

Sorry yes, totally see what you mean now.

How so?

 

[Mrjohn]

How so?

I was taking it literally like get one of our best friends involved.

Your approach seems to be more about making friends of friends so you know them but you aren't out having brunch with them every weekend.

 

[RockHER]

I was taking it literally like get one of our best friends involved.

Your approach seems to be more about making friends of friends so you know them but you aren't out having brunch with them every weekend.

Yes that is but one approach- but the main point is to stay flexible & be ready to exploit any situation that arises. Serendipitous encounters for those searching often become the root of success.
ser·en·dip·i·ty
(sĕr′ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē)
n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

I want to know more about her personality & attitudes. Email if you want to keep it on the down low.

 

[Mrjohn]

Hey, sorry being away, happy to share but don't want to ramble on.

She is quite shy and body conscious but very much opens up after a few drinks.

Attitude wise she talks a good game but is actually quite sub and likes to be directed in bed.

 

[lovesexfun]

i wou

It has taken me a while to get here but this weekend I plan to share with my wife that I would like to see her with other men.

She is very shy sexually and it's kind of 50/50 how this will go. I've also been struggling to give her good sex for a while so know she is missing out.

I have two questions if I may;
1. Any tips on starting the conversation and important things to mention.

2. What is the approach people have taken to find a guy or guys? I expect we would prefer a stranger but don't want to start offering my wife to randoms, well not just yet.

Any replies or messages gratefully received.

i would like to know as well for future references ....