Trial Denial
- Thread starterSoonToBe
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It is now 7:45pm here and Sue's just gone out with our daughter shopping for a while. But we spent the hour before this eating dinner together - just pizza that I brought home about 6:15pm and Sue was already home and already changed. We haven't talked at all yet other than her secretly confirming she'd seen Robert this afternoon. She'd texted me earlier that she was leaving work about 3:00pm (flex time - she'll work an hour more tomorrow or not take lunch) which would have given them a few hours together. What I came to realize as we sat down to eat was that she was sitting across the table from me and from the grin on her face as she saw me staring - there was no doubt that she was sitting there with her pussy still full of his cum!
I had to stay focused to not reveal that I was distracted and what I was distracted by to our daughter who was blissfully *******! I checked the bathroom and the hamper and the laundry and there are no wet/stained recent panties so I can only assume she's still wearing them.
My cock is rock hard right now but I know that later tonight - come about 10:30pm - that I'll have my chance to relieve myself with her encouragement and hopefully more. Right now though, it's the reality that this may become the norm here in the future - for her to be wet and full from him - and I have to say that while it has made me wickedly horny to think about - at the same time it is also quite a scary thought too. I'm remaining stoic and hopeful for later tonight that she'll not only share in what went on verbally but may also share it with me physically.
I'm actually not sure what I feel right now. Anxious is perhaps the most accurate description. I want to talk to her and to somehow see all of her even if I don't get to feel it. Based on how hard my cock is right now I am eager to get to later tonight.
I had to stay focused to not reveal that I was distracted and what I was distracted by to our daughter who was blissfully *******! I checked the bathroom and the hamper and the laundry and there are no wet/stained recent panties so I can only assume she's still wearing them.
My cock is rock hard right now but I know that later tonight - come about 10:30pm - that I'll have my chance to relieve myself with her encouragement and hopefully more. Right now though, it's the reality that this may become the norm here in the future - for her to be wet and full from him - and I have to say that while it has made me wickedly horny to think about - at the same time it is also quite a scary thought too. I'm remaining stoic and hopeful for later tonight that she'll not only share in what went on verbally but may also share it with me physically.
I'm actually not sure what I feel right now. Anxious is perhaps the most accurate description. I want to talk to her and to somehow see all of her even if I don't get to feel it. Based on how hard my cock is right now I am eager to get to later tonight.
STB
sound's like you can't wait for later tonight. to get here so enjoy it and have fun.
keep us posted.
one thing i have been thinking about if it work's out with sue and robbie now. when or do you think sue will ask you for overnight or maybe,
a weekend every so often that they are togather. and what would you say and how would you feel about that if she asked you.
sound's like you can't wait for later tonight. to get here so enjoy it and have fun.
keep us posted.
one thing i have been thinking about if it work's out with sue and robbie now. when or do you think sue will ask you for overnight or maybe,
a weekend every so often that they are togather. and what would you say and how would you feel about that if she asked you.
STB,
I hope you enjoyed what was available last night. Albeit less than you might have wanted!
I'm just wondering if you have any more on Robbie‘s perspective on all this. I was going to say he is now seeing Sue being more available but given last weeks revelation that view may be three weeks old for him. Still, he must now feel a little more bonded with Sue. I wonder if Sue has detected it and passed that on.
I hope you enjoyed what was available last night. Albeit less than you might have wanted!
I'm just wondering if you have any more on Robbie‘s perspective on all this. I was going to say he is now seeing Sue being more available but given last weeks revelation that view may be three weeks old for him. Still, he must now feel a little more bonded with Sue. I wonder if Sue has detected it and passed that on.
I had intended on posting an update earlier today but late last night we had a problem at work such that I went into the office before Sue was even out of bed yet.
Right now - she is with him again. I hadn't realized her schedule until last night while we were 'busy' when I realized she was seeing him 2 days in a row. I hadn't put it together when she said she'd be late - thinking at the time it was tomorrow and not today!!! The response she got from me last night left her no doubt that all of this turns me on. Perhaps its better as I am much calmer today after last night.
To go back to last night - while it is still imbedded in my mind. It drove me crazy to think of her not just having dinner with us - but as we lounged around watching TV with our daughter and whatever other 'normal' stuff families do - Sue did some laundry and sat there next to us folding it. I did get over my initial response to it that I felt so strongly at dinner - as we sat there later on the stealthy stares we had with each other left no doubt that she was enjoying her time both from being with him earlier as well as what she knew it was doing to me.
We finally did get into the bedroom at our usual about 10:30pm and she immediately kissed me passionately and said "I'll bet you're horny!" and she reached down and felt my engorged cock. I stripped down and lay on the bed as she slowly took her clothes off. It was incredibly erotic to see her cami/teddy top underneath her blouse from work and as she slid off her dress pants, the semi-matching pair of panties came into view. All I could think of was her changing at his place and coming out to him dressed like that just as she was for me.
She giggled as she climbed onto the bed at how my cock looked - she teased me a bit with "aww baby, you need to cum, don't you?". Which was followed shortly by "it just won't be in me". Damn if my cock didn't jerk on it's own at that comment. She teased me about whether I can see her naked or not. I know she did it just to drive me crazy and it worked. She playfully pulled the front of her top away and let me look down at her breasts. She even slid up to me on the bed that pulled her panties back into a nice camel-toe. As she ran her finger up the underside of my cock she giggled and said "okay - you can see me - I know you want to".
Her top came off first and I could immediately see that Robert had been sucking on her breasts as there were several almost-hickies there. She giggled and said "I told him as long as they weren't visible".
What I remember most at that moment was the incredible arousal I felt at hearing just how comfortable she is with him. And on top of that, how she seemed to be sharing with me. I know that for as turned on as I was seeing her breasts, that I just had to see her pussy. I stroked away as she teased me and said "I was so messy earlier" and as she pulled off the panties, I could see she'd put a period-liner in them. It immediately brought back memories of when she'd have done that when she was seeing Don so she could go about her business - and as she said then and as she made clear last night - so she can enjoy feeling him in her afterwards. She slid the panties off and lay back and said she was sorry that she wasn't very messy now and admitted to having washed up a bit before she left his place.
I stroked away faster and faster - seeing her naked next to me was just the icing on the cake - my mind went to a million places thinking of her with him. And again, she was just so comfortable in talking to me - finally knowing that it DOES turn me on and that I DO want to hear it. She told me how they kissed and how she felt passionate with him - she told me how his hands held her tightly - how they felt her breasts and how he pulled at her nipples. I did cringe again - you'd think by now I'd be used to it - but I did cringe a bit as she told me how he put his hand in her panties and how he slid his finger into her - actually what made me cringe a bit was how she described how wet she was even before they'd started!
As expected, she again told me how tenderly he licks her at the start and how he builds her up until she'll cum while he's licking her. She told me she held his head in her hands and guided him as she came the first time. But what turned me on even more than that was hearing her tell me how ready she was for him when he moved up to fuck her. She giggled and said " I think I'm getting used to him" which also just did a number on me. I was getting closer and closer to what I knew was going to be one intense orgasm for me - she told me how they rolled around on the bed and how she rode on top of him for a while. All along I know she was eagerly watching my hand and my cock - even I could feel the dribble of pre-cum that she could also see. It seemed that the more intense my motions got with my hand, the more sensual her sharing of her fun became.
She started to describe the moments when she knew he was going to cum in her that first time. "I could tell like I can with you". Oh my god - hearing her say this stuff just blows my mind. And hearing her tell me how she pulled her knees back and "gave myself to him" just drove me crazy. But when she said that "if you look, you can see that I"m still wet and drippy from him" and I glanced downward to see her showing everything to me - that did it - seeing a dribble of clearish liquid and smelling the obvious smell of cum - that was it for me. I let out a loud low moan and I stroked out a friggin' huge load of cum. She giggled and cooed in my ear how hot that looked and how horny it made her to watch me - and then she added "and for it to not be in me". It didn't matter - I could barely hear or pay attention to her as I squirted all over. One spurt reached my chin and the rest landed on my chest and stomach.
As I calmed down she began to do her usual - collect my cum and feed it to me. Maybe it was in my head but she seemed to play with it a bit more and dwell on scooping it up a bit more than usual. She kissed me between each finger-ful she shared with me and even though we hadn't had sex or even cum together - sharing that erotic kiss with her tongue darting around mine - well, it just really made me feel good as did the hugs afterwards.
Right now - she is with him again. I hadn't realized her schedule until last night while we were 'busy' when I realized she was seeing him 2 days in a row. I hadn't put it together when she said she'd be late - thinking at the time it was tomorrow and not today!!! The response she got from me last night left her no doubt that all of this turns me on. Perhaps its better as I am much calmer today after last night.
To go back to last night - while it is still imbedded in my mind. It drove me crazy to think of her not just having dinner with us - but as we lounged around watching TV with our daughter and whatever other 'normal' stuff families do - Sue did some laundry and sat there next to us folding it. I did get over my initial response to it that I felt so strongly at dinner - as we sat there later on the stealthy stares we had with each other left no doubt that she was enjoying her time both from being with him earlier as well as what she knew it was doing to me.
We finally did get into the bedroom at our usual about 10:30pm and she immediately kissed me passionately and said "I'll bet you're horny!" and she reached down and felt my engorged cock. I stripped down and lay on the bed as she slowly took her clothes off. It was incredibly erotic to see her cami/teddy top underneath her blouse from work and as she slid off her dress pants, the semi-matching pair of panties came into view. All I could think of was her changing at his place and coming out to him dressed like that just as she was for me.
She giggled as she climbed onto the bed at how my cock looked - she teased me a bit with "aww baby, you need to cum, don't you?". Which was followed shortly by "it just won't be in me". Damn if my cock didn't jerk on it's own at that comment. She teased me about whether I can see her naked or not. I know she did it just to drive me crazy and it worked. She playfully pulled the front of her top away and let me look down at her breasts. She even slid up to me on the bed that pulled her panties back into a nice camel-toe. As she ran her finger up the underside of my cock she giggled and said "okay - you can see me - I know you want to".
Her top came off first and I could immediately see that Robert had been sucking on her breasts as there were several almost-hickies there. She giggled and said "I told him as long as they weren't visible".
What I remember most at that moment was the incredible arousal I felt at hearing just how comfortable she is with him. And on top of that, how she seemed to be sharing with me. I know that for as turned on as I was seeing her breasts, that I just had to see her pussy. I stroked away as she teased me and said "I was so messy earlier" and as she pulled off the panties, I could see she'd put a period-liner in them. It immediately brought back memories of when she'd have done that when she was seeing Don so she could go about her business - and as she said then and as she made clear last night - so she can enjoy feeling him in her afterwards. She slid the panties off and lay back and said she was sorry that she wasn't very messy now and admitted to having washed up a bit before she left his place.
I stroked away faster and faster - seeing her naked next to me was just the icing on the cake - my mind went to a million places thinking of her with him. And again, she was just so comfortable in talking to me - finally knowing that it DOES turn me on and that I DO want to hear it. She told me how they kissed and how she felt passionate with him - she told me how his hands held her tightly - how they felt her breasts and how he pulled at her nipples. I did cringe again - you'd think by now I'd be used to it - but I did cringe a bit as she told me how he put his hand in her panties and how he slid his finger into her - actually what made me cringe a bit was how she described how wet she was even before they'd started!
As expected, she again told me how tenderly he licks her at the start and how he builds her up until she'll cum while he's licking her. She told me she held his head in her hands and guided him as she came the first time. But what turned me on even more than that was hearing her tell me how ready she was for him when he moved up to fuck her. She giggled and said " I think I'm getting used to him" which also just did a number on me. I was getting closer and closer to what I knew was going to be one intense orgasm for me - she told me how they rolled around on the bed and how she rode on top of him for a while. All along I know she was eagerly watching my hand and my cock - even I could feel the dribble of pre-cum that she could also see. It seemed that the more intense my motions got with my hand, the more sensual her sharing of her fun became.
She started to describe the moments when she knew he was going to cum in her that first time. "I could tell like I can with you". Oh my god - hearing her say this stuff just blows my mind. And hearing her tell me how she pulled her knees back and "gave myself to him" just drove me crazy. But when she said that "if you look, you can see that I"m still wet and drippy from him" and I glanced downward to see her showing everything to me - that did it - seeing a dribble of clearish liquid and smelling the obvious smell of cum - that was it for me. I let out a loud low moan and I stroked out a friggin' huge load of cum. She giggled and cooed in my ear how hot that looked and how horny it made her to watch me - and then she added "and for it to not be in me". It didn't matter - I could barely hear or pay attention to her as I squirted all over. One spurt reached my chin and the rest landed on my chest and stomach.
As I calmed down she began to do her usual - collect my cum and feed it to me. Maybe it was in my head but she seemed to play with it a bit more and dwell on scooping it up a bit more than usual. She kissed me between each finger-ful she shared with me and even though we hadn't had sex or even cum together - sharing that erotic kiss with her tongue darting around mine - well, it just really made me feel good as did the hugs afterwards.
It was in between that I said to her something about when she was seeing him again and that was when she said "tomorrow night silly - you know we talked about it" and then she added "that's why I don't want you touching or licking me down there tonight" and she said it just like this - she said "I want to go back to him tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off".
I was kind of speechless for a moment until she sidled up closer and kissed me and said "but then I'll be home on Friday and all weekend". And in that moment - I realized what I had put into motion - that this was going to be the first weekend in a long time that we won't be having sex together. While I was lost in that thought she cuddled up to me and even thought it was only maybe 10-15 minutes since I'd cum - she started to tease me that "you're still horny, aren't you?" I nodded as I reached down to start to stroke but I knew it'd take a few minutes to get it up again.
She move up onto one elbow and then up into sitting next to me indian-style. I've posted about this before - when she does this her pussy opens up and last night was no different except that she was visibly wet with a thicker clear-ish liquid and as I lay there - thinking that it was Roberts cum that was still dribbling out of her - damn if it didn't get me fully hard.
It wasn't as in-your-face this second time. She didn't so much tease me as share with me more of the connection she felt with him including telling me how much she came with him. She was sort of looking up at the ceiling when she told me how he felt in her - damn if I didn't ache hearing that - "he likes to be so deep in me" ..... "it takes me a while to take all of him" .... "but ohhh - when he's in the right place.....".
My god - I wouldn't have believed I'd be so horny and so hard so soon after just cumming but there it was - and damn if I wasn't enjoying the heck out of it. I think in my head I knew and accepted that I wasn't going to get to fuck her and that I should let myself go and really enjoy this time with her. I know she leaned up and seemed to really enjoy watching me.
I needed a bit more to get off though and I think she knew it. She leaned over towards me and started talking softly in my ear at how much he cums. "It soooo much baby" and "after the second time, I knew I'd need that panty liner". There was more but when she started to say how sexy she felt all night "feeling him in me" - I know it was quick - even more quickly than I'd expected - but sure enough - as my brain digested what she was saying - it was almost involuntary - I started to cum without even realizing it. Again she squealed at seeing me spraying my cum all over my chest and stomach. And again, as I stroked out the last dribble - she cooed ".... so hot that its not in me....".
And so - making this a bit more abridged - here I am home alone as our daughter is off with her friends (nice that some of her friends now drive) and waiting for Sue to come home. She knew our daughter would be out (she'd texted me and told me that earlier - the same time she said that she'd be home about 8pm) - so I have, hopefully, about another 45 minutes to wait.
I don't know what to anticipate when she gets home other than - putting it bluntly - his cum should be fresher in her - and I hope she'll be in the mood to let me go down on her. Despite cumming two intense times last night - I'm sure that I'll have to do the same again tonight, hopefully as I am licking her and sharing vicariously in her fun.
We haven't talked much about Robert - last night was much more focused on her pushing my buttons and enjoying watching me cum. I do expect though that given our now intercourse-less weekend - that we'll have time to share more and I'll have time to learn more about him.
Now, I just need to fight off the urge to jerk-off until she gets home.
I was kind of speechless for a moment until she sidled up closer and kissed me and said "but then I'll be home on Friday and all weekend". And in that moment - I realized what I had put into motion - that this was going to be the first weekend in a long time that we won't be having sex together. While I was lost in that thought she cuddled up to me and even thought it was only maybe 10-15 minutes since I'd cum - she started to tease me that "you're still horny, aren't you?" I nodded as I reached down to start to stroke but I knew it'd take a few minutes to get it up again.
She move up onto one elbow and then up into sitting next to me indian-style. I've posted about this before - when she does this her pussy opens up and last night was no different except that she was visibly wet with a thicker clear-ish liquid and as I lay there - thinking that it was Roberts cum that was still dribbling out of her - damn if it didn't get me fully hard.
It wasn't as in-your-face this second time. She didn't so much tease me as share with me more of the connection she felt with him including telling me how much she came with him. She was sort of looking up at the ceiling when she told me how he felt in her - damn if I didn't ache hearing that - "he likes to be so deep in me" ..... "it takes me a while to take all of him" .... "but ohhh - when he's in the right place.....".
My god - I wouldn't have believed I'd be so horny and so hard so soon after just cumming but there it was - and damn if I wasn't enjoying the heck out of it. I think in my head I knew and accepted that I wasn't going to get to fuck her and that I should let myself go and really enjoy this time with her. I know she leaned up and seemed to really enjoy watching me.
I needed a bit more to get off though and I think she knew it. She leaned over towards me and started talking softly in my ear at how much he cums. "It soooo much baby" and "after the second time, I knew I'd need that panty liner". There was more but when she started to say how sexy she felt all night "feeling him in me" - I know it was quick - even more quickly than I'd expected - but sure enough - as my brain digested what she was saying - it was almost involuntary - I started to cum without even realizing it. Again she squealed at seeing me spraying my cum all over my chest and stomach. And again, as I stroked out the last dribble - she cooed ".... so hot that its not in me....".
And so - making this a bit more abridged - here I am home alone as our daughter is off with her friends (nice that some of her friends now drive) and waiting for Sue to come home. She knew our daughter would be out (she'd texted me and told me that earlier - the same time she said that she'd be home about 8pm) - so I have, hopefully, about another 45 minutes to wait.
I don't know what to anticipate when she gets home other than - putting it bluntly - his cum should be fresher in her - and I hope she'll be in the mood to let me go down on her. Despite cumming two intense times last night - I'm sure that I'll have to do the same again tonight, hopefully as I am licking her and sharing vicariously in her fun.
We haven't talked much about Robert - last night was much more focused on her pushing my buttons and enjoying watching me cum. I do expect though that given our now intercourse-less weekend - that we'll have time to share more and I'll have time to learn more about him.
Now, I just need to fight off the urge to jerk-off until she gets home.
It's a rainy Saturday afternoon - we have the house to ourselves and she just went out shopping for a while.
I miss her pussy - we'd be fucking up a storm right now. She told me to enjoy myself while she was out so here I am.
I've been of mixed thoughts for the past few days. She did come home later on Thursday and she did invite me to sample her well-used pussy. She admonished me to "just stay on the outside" and repeated to me how she enjoyed feeling his cum in her. She did not offer me any sort of relief on Thursday but did encourage me to stay with her - and that if it turned me on that much, that she wanted to hear and see me masturbate. I eagerly did it as she told me more of her time with Robert.
I am a bit scared. I hear in her voice how she enjoys being with him - enjoys the role she is fulfilling for him. As I jerked off she told me how he came in her the second time - she was on her knees leaning down into the pillow on his bed with a dirty movie playing on the screen and she told me how at that moment, her pussy was all his and how full she felt with him holding her hips. I came a moment after she told me how she felt to feel so full of him and to then feel him cum in her.
She hasn't gone back to wearing panties or anything like that. Today - getting up this morning and then being around her before she went out a while ago - just being around her and now, knowing I can't have her. It is so intense to think about. She teased me last night how she still felt wet from him. And now - today - I'm wicked horny again thinking of her.
But as I said, I have some fears that I am definitely feeling. I re-read some of what I felt when she was with Brad and I know that even though Robert may not want to be emotionally tied to her, I see that she is to him. It's okay - it's actually quite incredible to see her and to know what she's doing. It's also incredibly arousing to see her so - no other way to say it - but to see her so damn horny for him.
I'm now about to let off some steam thinking of her telling me to stay "just on the outside" the other night. Oh my god, my cock is throbbing.
I miss her pussy - we'd be fucking up a storm right now. She told me to enjoy myself while she was out so here I am.
I've been of mixed thoughts for the past few days. She did come home later on Thursday and she did invite me to sample her well-used pussy. She admonished me to "just stay on the outside" and repeated to me how she enjoyed feeling his cum in her. She did not offer me any sort of relief on Thursday but did encourage me to stay with her - and that if it turned me on that much, that she wanted to hear and see me masturbate. I eagerly did it as she told me more of her time with Robert.
I am a bit scared. I hear in her voice how she enjoys being with him - enjoys the role she is fulfilling for him. As I jerked off she told me how he came in her the second time - she was on her knees leaning down into the pillow on his bed with a dirty movie playing on the screen and she told me how at that moment, her pussy was all his and how full she felt with him holding her hips. I came a moment after she told me how she felt to feel so full of him and to then feel him cum in her.
She hasn't gone back to wearing panties or anything like that. Today - getting up this morning and then being around her before she went out a while ago - just being around her and now, knowing I can't have her. It is so intense to think about. She teased me last night how she still felt wet from him. And now - today - I'm wicked horny again thinking of her.
But as I said, I have some fears that I am definitely feeling. I re-read some of what I felt when she was with Brad and I know that even though Robert may not want to be emotionally tied to her, I see that she is to him. It's okay - it's actually quite incredible to see her and to know what she's doing. It's also incredibly arousing to see her so - no other way to say it - but to see her so damn horny for him.
I'm now about to let off some steam thinking of her telling me to stay "just on the outside" the other night. Oh my god, my cock is throbbing.
Kinda funny when You think about this Steve. You wanted this "Sweet Agony" For So Long!!! Now You Have It. And its just going to build. Everytime You look at Sue. Everytime She goes off to work. You really have No Idea wether Sue see's Robbie or Not??? Its always there, In the back of Your mind. How long before Your able to reclaim what should be Yours alone??? But Your not allowed access to??? Sweet Agony!!!!
Steve, I don't know what to say, or what to write. I do have a strong empathy for you. I do hope your fears are unfounded. I trust they are!
I am not 'in your shoes,' I don't choose to be, and never again, expect to be. I have no way of relating to what you are feeling right now, in that you encouraged Sue to go ahead with this.
I don't know how to help except to say that, Memorial day weekend, you will have a chance to change direction. Will you do it? I can't say! Only you (and Sue) can decide on what is right for you then. It's not even Robert's decision, He's not a part of the 'denial' that you are doing right now!
Cheers, harry
I am not 'in your shoes,' I don't choose to be, and never again, expect to be. I have no way of relating to what you are feeling right now, in that you encouraged Sue to go ahead with this.
I don't know how to help except to say that, Memorial day weekend, you will have a chance to change direction. Will you do it? I can't say! Only you (and Sue) can decide on what is right for you then. It's not even Robert's decision, He's not a part of the 'denial' that you are doing right now!
Cheers, harry
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Steve,
I am not sure why everyone is being so sympathetic. It seems to me you are exactly where you wanted to be, give or take a little. I suspect you will hit the low point on Sunday night, maybe Monday morning. By then the realization that a full week has gone with no intimate contact and that Sue may not miss it, will have hit hard. Later next week you will be deeper in cuck space but focusing on the weekend relief. Just remember what Monday feels like when the discussion for longer term denial crops up. And dont forget that the risks you are taking with your relationship are not one off but cumulative.
In the meantime you maybe need a hobby!
I am not sure why everyone is being so sympathetic. It seems to me you are exactly where you wanted to be, give or take a little. I suspect you will hit the low point on Sunday night, maybe Monday morning. By then the realization that a full week has gone with no intimate contact and that Sue may not miss it, will have hit hard. Later next week you will be deeper in cuck space but focusing on the weekend relief. Just remember what Monday feels like when the discussion for longer term denial crops up. And dont forget that the risks you are taking with your relationship are not one off but cumulative.
In the meantime you maybe need a hobby!
You seem to be on the fence about the denial. Obviously, Sue absolutely is loving it! Will you be okay if she asks you to make it a much longer term thing in the near future? That day may only be a week or so away! My guess is that this week will get easier for you as the newness of what you are doing wears off a bit and you begin to realize that her pussy is just not yours and you will not be getting inside of her. Maybe what you need is more jerk off time together? That way it is more special time for you two to connect without putting your pecker in Robbie's pussy.
I should try not to post here when I'm feeling really down about this. That somber mood passed and I'm more upbeat about it this morning.
I don't think I'm jerking off too much - its surprising me but I seem to need to cum quite often, more often than when we were fucking. I seem to get hard at the drop of a hat and the thing is, I seem to cum a lot each time. Sue did comment on that last night too - how it seemed that way to her from what she's seen too.
We talked more last night and I'm feeling better about things in general. No, she didn't relent or allow me to feel her - but she did say at one point that if I did really need to feel her or to even cum with her that I could use a condom while she is "all his". I was surprised but she added "it's only if you really need it though" and she repeated to me how now she likes just having "his stuff in me". But we did hug and kiss and she did say to me that while she thought this was sort of crazy at first - that now that she's becoming more involved with him, that she felt like she could really start to feel what she's wanted.
It did hurt a bit to hear her talk - but at the same time, even with my somewhat fragile state - damn if my cock didn't get hard hearing her talk about him. She said that she hasn't had sex like this in years and years - and she was very honest and said that she can't remember when she's been able to release (her word) with him so easily. And she told me how incredible she feels with him. She said that once she feels him in her that she loses all thought about everything else. The other thing she really extolled on is "how much he cums in me" and how much that turns her on. At one point she said "he's like a teenager" and that at times she feels like a real Cougar with him and that she thinks she even tries to compensate for her age difference with him.
We hugged and kissed and spent some really close time together last night though. She was right in that without the desire to have sex between us (well on her side) that it WAS easier to talk and to make the other parts of our relationship even stronger. I admit that it was perhaps easier to talk to her knowing we weren't going to be fucking. And I think the whole way she started this last weekend - saying that she really wanted to "play it for keeps" until Memorial Day weekend - that attitude has perhaps pushed me to dealing with my thoughts and such sooner than I'd anticipated. She was concerned about me too. She said she'd seen and felt the melancholy feeling I'd had and that she wanted to know how I was feeling. Was this what I wanted? And even more so, was it giving me the feelings I'd wanted.
I told her that I felt a little disconnected from her and that I had hoped, in my head, that she would have shared more or been closer with me when she came home on Thursday night. She was quiet for a moment and then said that she would try to be better in the future. That part made me feel better - but then she said that "I need to be honest though" and added that she felt conflicted and even confused about how she felt when she did get home. She said when she got home, that she didn't want to jump right into bed with me and to let me have her (orally) right away the way I wanted to. I told her that was part of our agreement and she said that I was right and that she thought once she started to see him more regularly, that all of this would become more at ease. I admitted to her that it turned me on incredibly when she said that I shouldn't be sucking at her pussy (licking her deeply was what I said). She smiled and said that she was sure all of that would become easier for her, again, once she started to see him more regularly. I did tell her that I loved knowing that she'd had awesome sex with him and that was what still turned me on.
Before we went to sleep last night she rolled over next to me and cuddled up and said "are you going to be okay with all of this?". I could hear her saying it and obviously she wanted my agreement as I don't sense any doubt in her that she wants this. I took a deep breath and said yes, and I told her that it DID turn me on that she was only fucking him for now. She reached down and felt my cock was hard again. She giggled and said "he always tells me the truth" and smiled and said "if you need to again, it's okay". I told her that I was probably okay but then added that "I'll probably NEED it tomorrow (tonight)" she turned to me and said "deal, I'll make it special for you too".
I am thinking back to why this feels so much more intense than when she's denied me in the past. I think it's because any time in the past it was always so that she could be clean for her lover and I knew that I'd have her afterwards. This time, it's not that at all. And I think knowing that is in my head. I'm sure it's also that we've had a pretty busy sex-life ourselves over the past few months and in a way, this is such a cold-turkey ending of that - that it's also weighing on me. But I did tell her that hearing her share how she feels with him and about him is something that I need to hear from her - and I told her that I think that may be something that was a bit missing this past week, that there wasn't as much sharing of that stuff that I wanted and even needed to hear. Somehow hearing her tell me how much and how easily she cums with him seemed to alleviate my feelings. It sounds weird but I think I need to hear her tell me more about what she's doing and feeling for it to not seem so crushing to me. She seemed to understand that and said that she hoped that would get easier for her too.
Hiki - no she didn't go see him yesterday. But she did say that she'll be seeing him on Monday and she told me that we could have some "quiet time" together on Monday night if that was what I felt I needed to feel like I was a part of what she's doing.
Peak - you may be right about a hobby. I'm not posting her so much for the sympathy, but more to just put to paper the thoughts and feelings I'm having. I knew to expect this - as everyone said and warned - at some point the reality of it vs. the fantasy of it was going to sink in.
But to alleviate Harry's and other's concerns - other than these low-moments which I'll try to not post about or focus so much on - at the other moments - I am happy with what we are doing. I know that the intense eroticness of Thursday night - just hearing her tell me to not probe into her pussy - hearing her tell me that of her own desires - oh my god - you cannot imagine the height of arousal I felt at that moment. I know I wanted to feel this - it sounds crazy but it still turns me on beyond belief that she will only share her pussy now with Robert. And I'll also say that that intense feeling surpasses all of the ill-feelings that I have. When I see her getting ready for bed last night and I see her as she changes into her night-shirt and climbs into bed - there is something about knowing that she may only be fucking Robert in the future that just drives me crazy. But even more so - I'm still trying to capture the feelings exactly - but knowing it's what she wants is still just the most intense feeling. Will may have also hit some of the feelings on the head.
I don't know how I'm going to feel when/if she asks for this to continue. Based on what we'd talked about thus far and how she seems to be falling for him, I don't think there's much doubt about it. The part of me that is still wickedly turned on by all of this will surely say yes to her if she were to ask. The part of me that would say no is the part of me that posted yesterday and from that perspective, I know that it's not going to be easy if she does want it.
I don't think I'm jerking off too much - its surprising me but I seem to need to cum quite often, more often than when we were fucking. I seem to get hard at the drop of a hat and the thing is, I seem to cum a lot each time. Sue did comment on that last night too - how it seemed that way to her from what she's seen too.
We talked more last night and I'm feeling better about things in general. No, she didn't relent or allow me to feel her - but she did say at one point that if I did really need to feel her or to even cum with her that I could use a condom while she is "all his". I was surprised but she added "it's only if you really need it though" and she repeated to me how now she likes just having "his stuff in me". But we did hug and kiss and she did say to me that while she thought this was sort of crazy at first - that now that she's becoming more involved with him, that she felt like she could really start to feel what she's wanted.
It did hurt a bit to hear her talk - but at the same time, even with my somewhat fragile state - damn if my cock didn't get hard hearing her talk about him. She said that she hasn't had sex like this in years and years - and she was very honest and said that she can't remember when she's been able to release (her word) with him so easily. And she told me how incredible she feels with him. She said that once she feels him in her that she loses all thought about everything else. The other thing she really extolled on is "how much he cums in me" and how much that turns her on. At one point she said "he's like a teenager" and that at times she feels like a real Cougar with him and that she thinks she even tries to compensate for her age difference with him.
We hugged and kissed and spent some really close time together last night though. She was right in that without the desire to have sex between us (well on her side) that it WAS easier to talk and to make the other parts of our relationship even stronger. I admit that it was perhaps easier to talk to her knowing we weren't going to be fucking. And I think the whole way she started this last weekend - saying that she really wanted to "play it for keeps" until Memorial Day weekend - that attitude has perhaps pushed me to dealing with my thoughts and such sooner than I'd anticipated. She was concerned about me too. She said she'd seen and felt the melancholy feeling I'd had and that she wanted to know how I was feeling. Was this what I wanted? And even more so, was it giving me the feelings I'd wanted.
I told her that I felt a little disconnected from her and that I had hoped, in my head, that she would have shared more or been closer with me when she came home on Thursday night. She was quiet for a moment and then said that she would try to be better in the future. That part made me feel better - but then she said that "I need to be honest though" and added that she felt conflicted and even confused about how she felt when she did get home. She said when she got home, that she didn't want to jump right into bed with me and to let me have her (orally) right away the way I wanted to. I told her that was part of our agreement and she said that I was right and that she thought once she started to see him more regularly, that all of this would become more at ease. I admitted to her that it turned me on incredibly when she said that I shouldn't be sucking at her pussy (licking her deeply was what I said). She smiled and said that she was sure all of that would become easier for her, again, once she started to see him more regularly. I did tell her that I loved knowing that she'd had awesome sex with him and that was what still turned me on.
Before we went to sleep last night she rolled over next to me and cuddled up and said "are you going to be okay with all of this?". I could hear her saying it and obviously she wanted my agreement as I don't sense any doubt in her that she wants this. I took a deep breath and said yes, and I told her that it DID turn me on that she was only fucking him for now. She reached down and felt my cock was hard again. She giggled and said "he always tells me the truth" and smiled and said "if you need to again, it's okay". I told her that I was probably okay but then added that "I'll probably NEED it tomorrow (tonight)" she turned to me and said "deal, I'll make it special for you too".
I am thinking back to why this feels so much more intense than when she's denied me in the past. I think it's because any time in the past it was always so that she could be clean for her lover and I knew that I'd have her afterwards. This time, it's not that at all. And I think knowing that is in my head. I'm sure it's also that we've had a pretty busy sex-life ourselves over the past few months and in a way, this is such a cold-turkey ending of that - that it's also weighing on me. But I did tell her that hearing her share how she feels with him and about him is something that I need to hear from her - and I told her that I think that may be something that was a bit missing this past week, that there wasn't as much sharing of that stuff that I wanted and even needed to hear. Somehow hearing her tell me how much and how easily she cums with him seemed to alleviate my feelings. It sounds weird but I think I need to hear her tell me more about what she's doing and feeling for it to not seem so crushing to me. She seemed to understand that and said that she hoped that would get easier for her too.
Hiki - no she didn't go see him yesterday. But she did say that she'll be seeing him on Monday and she told me that we could have some "quiet time" together on Monday night if that was what I felt I needed to feel like I was a part of what she's doing.
Peak - you may be right about a hobby. I'm not posting her so much for the sympathy, but more to just put to paper the thoughts and feelings I'm having. I knew to expect this - as everyone said and warned - at some point the reality of it vs. the fantasy of it was going to sink in.
But to alleviate Harry's and other's concerns - other than these low-moments which I'll try to not post about or focus so much on - at the other moments - I am happy with what we are doing. I know that the intense eroticness of Thursday night - just hearing her tell me to not probe into her pussy - hearing her tell me that of her own desires - oh my god - you cannot imagine the height of arousal I felt at that moment. I know I wanted to feel this - it sounds crazy but it still turns me on beyond belief that she will only share her pussy now with Robert. And I'll also say that that intense feeling surpasses all of the ill-feelings that I have. When I see her getting ready for bed last night and I see her as she changes into her night-shirt and climbs into bed - there is something about knowing that she may only be fucking Robert in the future that just drives me crazy. But even more so - I'm still trying to capture the feelings exactly - but knowing it's what she wants is still just the most intense feeling. Will may have also hit some of the feelings on the head.
I don't know how I'm going to feel when/if she asks for this to continue. Based on what we'd talked about thus far and how she seems to be falling for him, I don't think there's much doubt about it. The part of me that is still wickedly turned on by all of this will surely say yes to her if she were to ask. The part of me that would say no is the part of me that posted yesterday and from that perspective, I know that it's not going to be easy if she does want it.
Steve, I'm not sure about others on here, but I appreciate all your posts! I would encourage you to post whatever is in your head at the time. There are many who read this thread and never comment. While I do appreciate that you aren't posting for any reason other than your own self therapy, to only post the high times you are experiencing, while filtering out the lows, does a great disservice to your followers. As you have stated many times, even you go back at times and re-read your older threads to get a sense of where your mind was at that place and time. So you do yourself a disservice by not posting the full, unfiltered accounts.
STB
i do agree with jax. you do need to post the up's and the down's. and on the other hand by what you have posted you have got a hard road to hoe.
with sue and robbie.
and also by what have posted the way sue is talking to you about them she has already fallen in love with robert and his big cock.
now she is talking about seeing him more regularly on maybe everyday of the week and maybe some weekend's to.
and i hate to say it but sue want's to still try and get robbie to fall in love with her. i think she hope's by beening his only that he will fall for her the way. she want's him to.
has sue said anything about sometime telling robbie that she is only his and his only he is the only one she is having sex with now and will have for sometime. from now on.
thank's keep us posted.
i do agree with jax. you do need to post the up's and the down's. and on the other hand by what you have posted you have got a hard road to hoe.
with sue and robbie.
and also by what have posted the way sue is talking to you about them she has already fallen in love with robert and his big cock.
now she is talking about seeing him more regularly on maybe everyday of the week and maybe some weekend's to.
and i hate to say it but sue want's to still try and get robbie to fall in love with her. i think she hope's by beening his only that he will fall for her the way. she want's him to.
has sue said anything about sometime telling robbie that she is only his and his only he is the only one she is having sex with now and will have for sometime. from now on.
thank's keep us posted.
Steve
I have to agree with Jax above. Whatever any of us have to offer you, it would be useless if didnt know how you were really feeling at the time and to be frank, your posts would not be worth reading if they only contained your high moments.
I worry about your last note. Sue is clearly getting what she wants at the moment. Rationally or not she sees excluding you to be enhancing her time with Robert. I think you need to really understand whether she is doing things with you to help you cope with the denial out of love for you or out of a desire to extend her time with Robert. You need to really understand this dynamic before next weekend when an even longer trial period may be starting. I dont think you have thought this through yet. How do you actually see it all ending? What do you both have to put in place to ensure this happens?
I have to agree with Jax above. Whatever any of us have to offer you, it would be useless if didnt know how you were really feeling at the time and to be frank, your posts would not be worth reading if they only contained your high moments.
I worry about your last note. Sue is clearly getting what she wants at the moment. Rationally or not she sees excluding you to be enhancing her time with Robert. I think you need to really understand whether she is doing things with you to help you cope with the denial out of love for you or out of a desire to extend her time with Robert. You need to really understand this dynamic before next weekend when an even longer trial period may be starting. I dont think you have thought this through yet. How do you actually see it all ending? What do you both have to put in place to ensure this happens?
Peak - I'm a bit concerned too. When I think about it beyond just the bedroom, yeah, I have those same willies in me that I felt way back when she was with Brad and I could tell she was emotionally bonding with him. But, the thing is, I want to let her go with it this time. She's continually assuring me that she loves me and knows what she's doing, etc. Aside of the momentary (okay, maybe periodic) periods of feeling blue about the loss of physical sex with her - aside of that, I still very much want to see this through.
I know I'm putting aside my own physical desires for her by agreeing to let her do this. But it's just such an amazingly beautiful thing to see her openly love sex with Robert. I think Dana is correct - I don't think that's changed at all - that she'd still like to know Robert wants her emotionally as well as physically. I know it's risking a lot - but again, if there was a way I could somehow share a moment or two when it strikes me at just how liberating and empowering all of this is for Sue. It comes across in every part of her life too - at work she's so much more confident lately (I can tell from how she describes what's going on there), to home where she's much more convicted and focused on things she wants to do, to the kids where even our daughter is snapping-to how Sue is talking to her. It sounds weird but knowing that it's because she's being "well fucked" is an incredible thing to see and experience.
Sometimes I place too much emphasis on simply needing to feel the inside of her pussy - and that sharing the rest of the experience with her, and yes, me jerking off to/with her IS very satisfying - as is knowing how she's felt with him. She seemed to recognize what I'd said that I needed to be able to feel closer to her after she's been with him and as I said, she's agreed to try to share that time with me more. I can respect her desire for me to not probe into her pussy - I know she has always liked the feel of semen in her so this isn't totally a surprise - but I think what I needed was bit more of a warm response and involvement from last Thursday - and again, later tonight she's promised to make it up to me and to make it special. I suspect she's going to either let me play with her a bit - or perhaps she'll help me or even suck me off.
To Dana's last question of whether Robert knows Sue may be exclusively his - he knows that we have sex infrequently, Sue is content to leave it that way as he doesn't know this side of our relationship. At this rate, her story is borderline reality in that it'll be 2 weeks before we'll have had sex again come next weekend and I don't know beyond that.
Peak - your last paragraph is interesting and one that I will surely have to divulge from Sue without being overly specific. I don't know that Sue necessarily has separated her desires to stimulate me from her desire to be with him and have more sex with him. I actually believe things are still mixed together right now, that my cock's response matches what I say to her - that she understands that it still turns me on. I don't know that she's fully sorted things out for what she wants with Robert. I'll try to find a way to get these answers without being so explicit.
I haven't thought this all through yet. I know that despite feeling periods of angst - that I'm happy with our trial-period. When the time is right - and either we're together or I'm in a horny mood - I have no doubts or misgivings about what we're doing. As I've said - seeing her naked and yet knowing I cannot have sex with her because she doesn't want to with me - even now it is something that touches me in a way that I cannot explain and yet makes me feel incredible. It is a powerfully eerie feeling to see her feeling so wonderful and confident and satisfied and to know that another man has given her those feelings.
What I can say - maybe I have a bit of a masochistic side to me - but as long as I know I'm not going to lose her - I want this to continue. I know, it's barely a week so far and that my thoughts and desires may change when that becomes weekS with a capital S. But at the same time, I know it's what I want to see.
I know I'm putting aside my own physical desires for her by agreeing to let her do this. But it's just such an amazingly beautiful thing to see her openly love sex with Robert. I think Dana is correct - I don't think that's changed at all - that she'd still like to know Robert wants her emotionally as well as physically. I know it's risking a lot - but again, if there was a way I could somehow share a moment or two when it strikes me at just how liberating and empowering all of this is for Sue. It comes across in every part of her life too - at work she's so much more confident lately (I can tell from how she describes what's going on there), to home where she's much more convicted and focused on things she wants to do, to the kids where even our daughter is snapping-to how Sue is talking to her. It sounds weird but knowing that it's because she's being "well fucked" is an incredible thing to see and experience.
Sometimes I place too much emphasis on simply needing to feel the inside of her pussy - and that sharing the rest of the experience with her, and yes, me jerking off to/with her IS very satisfying - as is knowing how she's felt with him. She seemed to recognize what I'd said that I needed to be able to feel closer to her after she's been with him and as I said, she's agreed to try to share that time with me more. I can respect her desire for me to not probe into her pussy - I know she has always liked the feel of semen in her so this isn't totally a surprise - but I think what I needed was bit more of a warm response and involvement from last Thursday - and again, later tonight she's promised to make it up to me and to make it special. I suspect she's going to either let me play with her a bit - or perhaps she'll help me or even suck me off.
To Dana's last question of whether Robert knows Sue may be exclusively his - he knows that we have sex infrequently, Sue is content to leave it that way as he doesn't know this side of our relationship. At this rate, her story is borderline reality in that it'll be 2 weeks before we'll have had sex again come next weekend and I don't know beyond that.
Peak - your last paragraph is interesting and one that I will surely have to divulge from Sue without being overly specific. I don't know that Sue necessarily has separated her desires to stimulate me from her desire to be with him and have more sex with him. I actually believe things are still mixed together right now, that my cock's response matches what I say to her - that she understands that it still turns me on. I don't know that she's fully sorted things out for what she wants with Robert. I'll try to find a way to get these answers without being so explicit.
I haven't thought this all through yet. I know that despite feeling periods of angst - that I'm happy with our trial-period. When the time is right - and either we're together or I'm in a horny mood - I have no doubts or misgivings about what we're doing. As I've said - seeing her naked and yet knowing I cannot have sex with her because she doesn't want to with me - even now it is something that touches me in a way that I cannot explain and yet makes me feel incredible. It is a powerfully eerie feeling to see her feeling so wonderful and confident and satisfied and to know that another man has given her those feelings.
What I can say - maybe I have a bit of a masochistic side to me - but as long as I know I'm not going to lose her - I want this to continue. I know, it's barely a week so far and that my thoughts and desires may change when that becomes weekS with a capital S. But at the same time, I know it's what I want to see.
