whattodo said:
That's probably the best way to view it. Given your problem with sexual dysfunction, you can view your role as providing your wife with emotional support, companionship, stability, and direct forms of assistance such as doing much of the housework, so she'll have sufficient time and energy to date and fuck her lover(s). Her lover's role will be to provide her with sexual satisfaction without commitment. When she tires of him, or he tires of her, they can end their relationship and your wife can move on to a different lover.
whattodo said:
But, I'm feeling very anxious at the moment.
That's probably unavoidable. As your wife's self-acknowledged cuckold, you'll find it comes with the territory.
whattodo said:
What if she likes it too much?
My guess is, your wife will find she likes it a lot. And, she would like having a lover a lot, even if you were fully functional in a sexual sense.
whattodo said:
Would she still see me as her husband?
Yes. Substantial advantages accrue to your wife in being married to you — assuming you don't abuse her physically, verbally, or psychologically. Those advantages, involving a home, security, stability, and emotional support (from you, assuming you continue to provide her with that) will continue to accrue to her after she takes a lover.
whattodo said:
Safety, std prevention, and pregnancy risk are concerns. There's a lot to talk with her about.
You're right, of course, these are all important concerns. Re. STD prevention: your wife should absolutely not fuck her prospective lover unless he's willing to use, and does use, condoms.... until such time as he provides her with —> recent lab test results <— showing he's free of STD's. He can probably get tested for that at minimal cost at a public health center. You and your wife should consider offering to help him pay for it, if cost is an issue.
Re. avoiding pregnancy: since condoms can and sometimes do break, your wife should be on an effective form of birth control. The pill causes changes in a woman's chemistry, so to speak, that can reduce her sex drive, it seems, so if your wife isn't on the pill, she may want to consider other b.c. alternatives that don't have that effect. She can talk with her ob/gyn M.D. about it. (If she's on the pill and has no problem with reduced sex drive or ability to orgasm, there should be no need to make a change.)
Re. physical safety: I posted some suggestions recently in Cuckykny’s thread. Here they are, somewhat edited and shortened since your enterprising wife has already identified a candidate lover.
1) Make arrangements for both your wife and you to meet with her candidate at a neutral location — say, a coffee shop or restaurant (no alcohol) for lunch. Do not give her candidate your address or phone number.
2) During lunch, talk with him and decide whether he's someone your wife and you want to proceed further with. While your wife decides whether they “have chemistry,” you should use your male intuition to decide whether he “seems OK.” Set up a pre-arranged signal. For instance, if he's a slick talker and your wife seems entranced, but you can see he's bad news, touch her leg with your foot under the table, then end the lunch with some polite pleasantries and leave.
Or, if you think he's a good candidate but your wife decides she doesn't like him, she can touch your leg with her foot under the table, then similarly, end the lunch with some polite pleasantries and leave.
3) If your wife's candidate does not seem “good” (per 2), she should go back to the drawing board, as they say, and identify a different potential lover. Then, repeat (1) and (2).
4) When you and your wife identify a candidate she feels she has some chemistry with, and you agree he seems OK (during lunch at your neutral location), make arrangements to meet him at a second public location, but this time make it a reasonably-nice bar that serves alcohol and has a dance floor. The purpose of this second meeting should be to enable your wife to dance closely with him; you could give them some "alone time" by making (for instance) an extended trip to the rest room, and/or going outside to "make a business call.” Your wife should not yet give him your address nor her (nor your) phone number.
5) If your wife finds her candidate sexually attractive, she should let you know — then, the two of you can make arrangements to meet him at a hotel (not your home, nor at his home). There, if you have sufficient spare change, you can rent two rooms side-by-side, one for them, the other for you — but, make sure you have keys to both rooms. Or, alternatively, rent one room with two beds in which you will be present while your wife fucks her candidate. The arrangement should be such that you will be in a position to take action to protect your wife, if her candidate turns out to be a really bad apple.
6) If your wife and her candidate “click” and he appears to be a good score as a lover, you can exchange phone numbers and address information, and move on to arrangements for future meetings at locations of your choice, including, perhaps, your home.
I suggest an approach along these lines, at the risk of seeming "overly cautious," because men who are angling online for a woman often — perhaps usually — try to present themselves as something other than what they are.
