A Good Mother?

[Soccer Mom]

I am in a quandry - one I've never seen discussed but one that must confront many other white mothers with daughters.

I came to black sexing late in life (after I turned 40) and it was a revelation.
Never felt that way as a woman before; maybe, never felt like a woman at all before I had black cock.

Now the question becomes do I just let chance govern if and when my youngest daughter experiences the same pleasure as I now enjoy; or, do I act to allow her to blossom as a woman?

As a mother I'm used to doing things that my children didn't exactly care for (at the time) but were for their ultimate benefit; shots, musical lessons, etc.
But, if I do set June up, I'd feel guilty for imposing my values/desires upon her and perhaps setting on a course that may not be what either of us would prefer.

Anyone who has been there care to share?

Brooke

 

[WhiteMomOfTwo]

Hi Brooke,

I am an older white mom like you. I didn't experience my first black until i was divorced and found myself in love with it too!

I've often asked myself the same questions about my girls ... and although my self-confidence is quite high ... and I do enjoy being somewhat slutty for black cock ... I would not my girls behaving this way at their age.

Rumors can often spread about kids and that is my concern.

Honestly ... I often fantasize about them being with black. Watching them with black. And this is a big turn-on for me. I don't think they are ready for it ... and I know I'm not ready for them to know what I think about ... or will continue to think about.

Hope this helps.

Meg

 

[Raunchy Randy]

Meg and Brooke...

Of course, many will jump in and tell you to ****** your offspring to black; as that would (in their eyes) 'make them available' for people such as themselves.

I've been in an interracial marriage (17 years), and had several interracial relationships. I felt the need to create 'space' for myself and my spouse or Significant Other, to ensure that others didn't attempt to impose their prejudices or unwelcome/unflattering comments our way.You both are aware, that even today, society DOES NOT FULLY condone Black/White relationships. You as adults know (or should know) how to manage your personal relationships and how to handle confrontation/comments, etc. Your questions and thoughts about your children being involved in such relationships should 'take into account' the maturity they will require in doing those same things. IR is NOT FOR EVERYONE.

I'd suggest that you allow them to find IT (whatever IT is, that makes them happy) for themselves, as it could well be that your introducing them into and IR world could lead them to a completely different (possibly unhappy)conclusion from the ones that you came to about IR. It could be great for them, also. But they need to find it for themselves.

I'd no more suggest IR for someone else (even though it works well for me) than I would try to arrange a marriage for a 16 year old to someone she's never seen.

 

[expatdad]

Understand your concern, and agree with white mum of two. I did not agree with my wife taking our daughter on a long weekend with her black lover. My wife deemed she was ready, and that must be the key factor for you. I would not expect you to thoroughly appreciate when she is ready.

Do you remember your own sexual turmoil? Curiousity? when you were your daughter's age? Perhaps it is time just to see how she reacts to your relationship, or the black males you might introduce her to...

 

[BLK_BRED_GAL]

I never had much of a choice in the manner. Once I started up with black males again as my marriage was failing, they went through my girls like a hurricane - leaving about as much debris to be cleaned up. Hope you fare better.

 

[mswendy]

As a white mother of one daughter,that has no idea her momma is into dating blk men, I niether encourge her or discourge her as to weather she should date blk or white, I feel it,s her choice to make,but I did let her know I was pleased when I found out her ****** for prom night was very popular black student, and as far as I know they had a great time, so I,d say let happen what happens, if not now i,m sure sooner or later they will find out for themselves as we both did ,Jan.

 

[Soccer Mom]

Rumors Can Spread

Dear Meg,

Honestly wasn't that concerned about rumors; hadn't even considered that aspect. This is about the whitest community possible (black population is less than 0.5%) and don't think there is a black student in her High School with two years of her. So, I just assumed that no matter how it came about, it would take place away from "home" and prying neighbors.

What does give me pause is your other concern "I would not" want "my girls behaving this way at their age". How do you explain that mommy loves it bareback but you, my darling, should never allow him to take you raw. That would go over as well as a George Bush speech. Problem with children is that don't abide hypocrisy very well.

Brooke

Hi Brooke,

I am an older white mom like you. I didn't experience my first black until i was divorced and found myself in love with it too!

I've often asked myself the same questions about my girls ... and although my self-confidence is quite high ... and I do enjoy being somewhat slutty for black cock ... I would not my girls behaving this way at their age.

Rumors can often spread about kids and that is my concern.

Honestly ... I often fantasize about them being with black. Watching them with black. And this is a big turn-on for me. I don't think they are ready for it ... and I know I'm not ready for them to know what I think about ... or will continue to think about.

Hope this helps.

Meg

 

[hillbillymommy]

Quite A Weekend

Sure this won't help except consider it as a cautionary tale.

Like expatdad's wife, I got talked into taking two of my children along on a weekend trip to Albemarle Sound. My black lover and I had been talking about him moving in and this was supposed to allow my younger children to get comfortable with the new arrangement.

Still have trouble looking my youngest in the eye without recalling that weekend; and, while she doesn't bring it up, I'm sure she thinks I'm a total cunt for what happened.

Understand your concern, and agree with white mum of two. I did not agree with my wife taking our daughter on a long weekend with her black lover. My wife deemed she was ready, and that must be the key factor for you. I would not expect you to thoroughly appreciate when she is ready.

Do you remember your own sexual turmoil? Curiousity? when you were your daughter's age? Perhaps it is time just to see how she reacts to your relationship, or the black males you might introduce her to...

 

[forHerDelight]

reply

Would just let it happen naturally, if at all. Should be about you and your bf, and however much you let your husband in on it. As long as everythings consensual, and she's old enough to make that choice, shed probably think it was cool of you to share him. Maybe best ot just behonest w her if she ever brings it up, but not to advertise it, depending what shes like.

 

[fge00]

It is really not your choice to make. When and if the time comes your girls will make their own choices and follow the path that is right for them, not you. If and when the time comes discuss your experiences but leave the choice up to them. They have to live their lives, not yours. Not everyone has the strength to endure an interracial relationship. They may not have the strength you have.

 

[expatdad]

I wonder fge00 if you fully appreciate the choice available when charismatic dominant black males are involved.

When my wife said to me she had decided that our daughter was ready (told to me after the event), it was not her decision to take our daughter on that weekend. I am sorry if I gave that impression.

My wife's lover told her to bring our daughter along, and at that particular time of their relationship my wife was not saying no to him about anything.

These decisions are often not left to other females in a 'blacked' family and it is important to understand that, and also to be very careful about how much others know about.

My wife's lover actually sat down with our family album and went through it. He tried to persuade her to bring one of our nieces out for an all expenses paid 6 week school holiday. It didn't happen, but if she had been in the country he would have had her, of that I have no doubt at all.

 

[june_domeraw]

Limits To Free Will A Daughter's Perspective

From the daughter's perspective, I think Expatdad is exactly right.

There are limits to free will when horomones and pheremones are running wild between black bulls and blackened white pussies. I know my mom is/was a great caring mother but I also know she had little choice when she invited me to attend a party at her girlfriend's summer cabin years ago. Her lover had set a mother/daughter weekend for her and two of her friends.

It was a little embarrassing at first to watch my mom and the other mothers but I soon understood the allure of it and appreciated her need for black men.

Terri

I wonder fge00 if you fully appreciate the choice available when charismatic dominant black males are involved.

When my wife said to me she had decided that our daughter was ready (told to me after the event), it was not her decision to take our daughter on that weekend. I am sorry if I gave that impression.

My wife's lover told her to bring our daughter along, and at that particular time of their relationship my wife was not saying no to him about anything.

These decisions are often not left to other females in a 'blacked' family and it is important to understand that, and also to be very careful about how much others know about.

My wife's lover actually sat down with our family album and went through it. He tried to persuade her to bring one of our nieces out for an all expenses paid 6 week school holiday. It didn't happen, but if she had been in the country he would have had her, of that I have no doubt at all.

 

[Brookes World]

Jealous Mother

Dear Expatdad,

Yes, I do recall my own sexual awakenings, as a teenager with white bois and as a woman with black bulls. But, if anything, your own postings prove that once I go down this road I'll lose control - the family will be dependent upon the hormonal whims of my lover.

Don't know if I can handle that; though, I do believe from observing my girl around my bf the few times they've met, she can. Honestly, I'm jealous of the attention he pays her. Your wife ever express those feelings?

Brooke

Understand your concern, and agree with white mum of two. I did not agree with my wife taking our daughter on a long weekend with her black lover. My wife deemed she was ready, and that must be the key factor for you. I would not expect you to thoroughly appreciate when she is ready.

Do you remember your own sexual turmoil? Curiousity? when you were your daughter's age? Perhaps it is time just to see how she reacts to your relationship, or the black males you might introduce her to...

 

[expatdad]

Yes. My wife did get jealous and I did not appreciate some of the ways she released that jealousy.
We were in Africa and the the laws there are both different, and impossible to enforce against rich africans, especialy those with political connections.
She had known how African men, reacted to our teenage daughter, and she knew she herself had competition from younger white women. I know this may sound odd, but I did suspect that one of the reasons my wife did not give to me was that with a teenage daughter in tow 'and available' she renewed the interest of the Africans in her.

But that view should not detract from the overwhelming presence of her lover, his demanding nature, and her desire to please him.

My wife's reaction to his friends attention to our daughter, was along the line great that means I will have nore time to myself with Osagyefu, her lover.

It was very obvious to me that Osagyefu and friends made a concious effort to hide their preference, over time it was something she could not deny to herself.

My daughter's regular ebullent delight at the arrival of my wife's lover, or his friends, was so efforvescent that it was impossible for my wife to compete with.

Incidentally, contrary to the view's of some American black males, they treated my daughter like royalty, then they took her to bed

 

[Karen4BBC]

Omg Yes

Hate to admit it but I followed the arc of Expatdad's wife. Can't blame it on African jungle fever, tribal culture or primitive laws. Just my own lust.

Started out bringing my oldest daughter along to please my lover at the time - deluding myself that it gave me a leg up (or was it a leg over) over white bitches - and, ultimately, wound up doing more and more to compete with my own baby. And, when my original lover took my daughter as his primary woman, I agreed to threesomes just to try and maintian my relationship with him.

Now, four lovers later and with all my daughters blackened, I've no delusions.

Karen

Yes. My wife did get jealous and I did not appreciate some of the ways she released that jealousy.
We were in Africa and the the laws there are both different, and impossible to enforce against rich africans, especialy those with political connections.
She had known how African men, reacted to our teenage daughter, and she knew she herself had competition from younger white women. I know this may sound odd, but I did suspect that one of the reasons my wife did not give to me was that with a teenage daughter in tow 'and available' she renewed the interest of the Africans in her.

But that view should not detract from the overwhelming presence of her lover, his demanding nature, and her desire to please him.

My wife's reaction to his friends attention to our daughter, was along the line great that means I will have nore time to myself with Osagyefu, her lover.

It was very obvious to me that Osagyefu and friends made a concious effort to hide their preference, over time it was something she could not deny to herself.

My daughter's regular ebullent delight at the arrival of my wife's lover, or his friends, was so efforvescent that it was impossible for my wife to compete with.

Incidentally, contrary to the view's of some American black males, they treated my daughter like royalty, then they took her to bed

 

[ScottyBo]

Dear Meg,

Honestly wasn't that concerned about rumors; hadn't even considered that aspect. This is about the whitest community possible (black population is less than 0.5%) and don't think there is a black student in her High School with two years of her. So, I just assumed that no matter how it came about, it would take place away from "home" and prying neighbors.

What does give me pause is your other concern "I would not" want "my girls behaving this way at their age". How do you explain that mommy loves it bareback but you, my darling, should never allow him to take you raw. That would go over as well as a George Bush speech. Problem with children is that don't abide hypocrisy very well.

Brooke

First of all, you are the MOM...despite the popular psychobabble about kids, there ARE two sets of rules - one for grown-ups and another for those NOT grown-ups. Just because YOU do something or CHOOSE to do it is NOT a reason for HER to do the same. If you're an adult and have years of life's experience to draw from, that's one thing but a young person does NOT have that experience to make a decision and it's not up to you to GIVE them that experience. Let HER live her life and deal with what happens. WHEN things happen your job is to be there to either support, encourage or discourage and NOT support. Maybe if parents began acting like parents instead of trying to be 'cool' there'd be less problems with the next generation. Great legacy we're leaving them, huh? Call Jerry Springer, they're looking for your call...better still, you're proof that there's still a vilage out there without it's resident idiot.

 

[Becky34639]

Resident Hall Monitor

Boy, the resident hall monitor is back with a vengence. Got bored with Jerry Falwell tonight?; re-runs out of George Bush's greatest speeches not doing it for you; the shephard take back your date for the night?

Pontification is so easy for those who haven't lived.

Becky

First of all, you are the MOM...despite the popular psychobabble about kids, there ARE two sets of rules - one for grown-ups and another for those NOT grown-ups. Just because YOU do something or CHOOSE to do it is NOT a reason for HER to do the same. If you're an adult and have years of life's experience to draw from, that's one thing but a young person does NOT have that experience to make a decision and it's not up to you to GIVE them that experience. Let HER live her life and deal with what happens. WHEN things happen your job is to be there to either support, encourage or discourage and NOT support. Maybe if parents began acting like parents instead of trying to be 'cool' there'd be less problems with the next generation. Great legacy we're leaving them, huh? Call Jerry Springer, they're looking for your call...better still, you're proof that there's still a vilage out there without it's resident idiot.

 

[expatdad]

I am not sure if Karen4BBC reflects the attitude of my wife at the time, though I suspect it was, irrespective of the various reasons my wife give.

I struggled at the time, and still wonder at her motives. She knew what her lover was like. She had been seeing him for 6 months. Yes, she was starry eyed in love and would have moved in with him like a shot if he had offered. He didn't.

She actually dropped him after 3 months when she found him in the bed of one of her white friends. I had thought was the end of that but about 4 weeks later she was so tetchy and on edge it was a relief, when she went to see him to 'talk about it' and went straight back to his bed.

From that point any notion she had that she could control the relationship in terms of a western one-to-one relationship ended. The very next night when she went to see him she found his 3 friends waiting. He had tried in the past to persuade her to sleep with his friends, but she had refused 'but I love you not them' etc.

When he told her to strip for his friends, or leave and not come back she stripped.

Control of the relationship had very much switched, and our daughter was in his bed 2 months later, and his friends beds after that.

My wife said our daughter was 'ready'. That she did not want her daughter growing up sexually inhibited and repressed as she had. That she knew how she had felt at our daughter's age and she was just letting our daughter do what she had wanted to do but hadn't dared. Who could possibly better than osagyefu to teach her about sex? if she did not take this in hand then our daughter would be tipped on her back in the bushes by the legions of African gardeners, domestics, security guards, and other hangers on. I had helped arrest a black drug dealer who lived in just the next street...what if he had got to her. She would be safer with her lover, and at less risk from disease. Were we going to expect her to remain a virgin for another 12 months in Africa with all that was going around?

The arguments just went on.

I thought it was all so much hogwash She had struck with an rich older African, and once he had seen our daughter he was determined to have her. Full stop. That was it.

My wife, she just couldn't say no. That's my view.

I would appreciate the views of other mothers on this group, or by PM, or e-mail on this

My wife loved the lifestyle we enjoyed out there, and clearly, though married to me, wanted to marry Osagyefu and remain in Zimbabwe. When it was clear that was not on the cards she simply decided to try and find another rich African lover, but after 18 months 'blacked' she was well known, and at 35yo they were looking for younger white lovers.

Each plane brought in fresh white women for them to chase...

The last 3 months got a bit hairy, and that was the only time my daughter complained to me and I had to lay down the law 'as it were'

 

[Irish To The Bone]

A Daughter's Perspective

Expatdad,

Glad you ignored the negative comments.

I'm a 27yo who has been doing blacks since High School. No one was responsible for turning me out but my own lust - well maybe a little credit belongs to incompetent white bois who made it necessary.

Think you all underestimate the needs of blossoming womanhood. Nothing signified being a woman more than being able to satisfy a older black male; feeling him struggle to penetrate every dark corner of my being.

Hope you don't mind my two cents. And, was wondering what you had to "lay down the law" about to your daughter? Did she listen? I didn't at that age.

Erin

I am not sure if Karen4BBC reflects the attitude of my wife at the time, though I suspect it was, irrespective of the various reasons my wife give.

I struggled at the time, and still wonder at her motives. She knew what her lover was like. She had been seeing him for 6 months. Yes, she was starry eyed in love and would have moved in with him like a shot if he had offered. He didn't.



From that point any notion she had that she could control the relationship in terms of a western one-to-one relationship ended. The very next night when she went to see him she found his 3 friends waiting. He had tried in the past to persuade her to sleep with his friends, but she had refused 'but I love you not them' etc.

When he told her to strip for his friends, or leave and not come back she stripped.

Control of the relationship had very much switched, and our daughter was in his bed 2 months later, and his friends beds after that


My wife, she just couldn't say no. That's my view.

I would appreciate the views of other mothers on this group, or by PM, or e-mail on this

The last 3 months got a bit hairy, and that was the only time my daughter complained to me and I had to lay down the law 'as it were'

 

[expatdad]

Expatdad,

Glad you ignored the negative comments.

I'm a 27yo who has been doing blacks since High School. No one was responsible for turning me out but my own lust - well maybe a little credit belongs to incompetent white bois who made it necessary.

Think you all underestimate the needs of blossoming womanhood. Nothing signified being a woman more than being able to satisfy a older black male; feeling him struggle to penetrate every dark corner of my being.

Hope you don't mind my two cents. And, was wondering what you had to "lay down the law" about to your daughter? Did she listen? I didn't at that age.

Erin

The laying down the law was applied to my wife, not to my daughter. My contract was coming to and end. My daughter was looking forward to being back in England. My wife was planning for her to stay on and had taken her to see a much older African as evidence of what he could enjoy long term, if married her. He instead wanted the marriage to be to our teenage daughter.
He was wealthy and powerful, but grey hair evidenced his age, and our daughter was not happy with her mother's plans for her!
I agree with 'irish to the bone' I found that trying to prevent Osagyefu 'meeting' with my daughter only led her to find other black men only to happy to oblige. Black men with whom she was at much greater risk.