Am I a cuck?

[AlanUK]

Hi, I am new to this site but this is interested me for some time now.

Firstly let me say that I do not want to be humiliated, dominated etc, but what I do want is to watch my wife have sex with someone else.

I am not bi, and do not wish to participate but just watch, is this odd?

I have talked to my wife about this and she enjoys the fantasy but says she does not want to do this for real. She seems to get into it when we fantasise about it but how can I tell if she really would want to do this or not?

Thank you for your time, sorry if this is a bit terse but I am just back from the pub, which has given me the courage to post.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi, I am new to this site but this has interested me for some time now.

Welcome!

First, let me say I do not want to be humiliated, dominated, etc...

WHAT?!

...but I do want to watch my wife have sex with someone else.

Well, everyone has their preferred kinks. Even being militantly vanilla can be viewed as a form of weirdness, I suppose...

I am not bi...

I wouldn't lose any sleep over that. About 4% of the male population at large can be thought of as "gay" in the sense they're sexually attracted to other men, but — although about 80% of those in this subpopulation are actually bisexual (not exclusively homosexual) — most people consider it OK to be heterosexual. Thus, you probably won't encounter heavy discrimination if you aren't bi.

...and do not wish to participate, but just watch. Is this odd?

Answering this question would require knowledge of what percentage of the married heterosexual male population wants to watch their wives fuck other men, vs. what percentage does not. Maybe "someone" knows that statistic, but it isn't me.

I have talked with my wife about this...

Good. You're showing signs of becoming an enlightened husband...

...and she enjoys the fantasy.

And, good for your wife. It sound like she may be showing promise...

But, my wife says she does not want to do this for real.

No, no... of course not.

She seems to get into it when we fantasise about it, though.

Your wife thinking about it while fucking you, and openly sharing her thoughts with you (not being turned off by the idea), and both of you finding the concept turns you on, is an important step toward doing it...

How can I tell if she really would want to do this or not?

If I were "Son of John," I would suggest a vacation with your wife at a nudist camp. Once there (assuming she agrees), observe how she responds to nude men she doesn't know looking at her — and also, notice whether she seems to like looking at them, and whether she more-or-less openly looks at their cocks. (You might encourage her to do that.) Since summer is rapidly approaching, you could probably do this in the reasonably-near future.

Various others on this site would probably suggest identifying a swingers club in or near your local area. Then, arrange to go there as visitors to observe the action. (Apparently most swingers clubs welcome potential new members on an "observer only" basis, no participation required.)

I can't recommend either of the above from personal experience, but both strike me as fairly good ways to proceed. Neither approach would commit you and your wife to anything.

Thank you for your time. Sorry if this is a bit terse, but I am just back from the pub which has given me the courage to post.

You're welcome. It's important to have a few beers under your belt before making important life-changing decisions. If you still aren't sure of the right decision , a few more beers may be indicated.

 

[Saraha]

You wife needs a glimpse inside your mind, so she can understand why watching her with another man excites you so much. But if she were to let you have your fantasy (even once) could lead to her becoming addicted to other cocks.

A wife goes through a lot of emotional adjustment to break her wedding vows (even with your permission) and there is no turning back the clock if you suddenly get cold feet when your face is inches from another guy's sperm dripping out of her pussy.

Your wife needs absolute re-assurance that her marriage won't suffer damage from her hopping onto a bed with a stranger. You could sign a contract not to ask for a divorce if you get jealous of the guys she lets ride her pussy and suck her titties.

 

[AlanUK]

Thank you Custer and Saraha

Trying the quote thing hope it works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanUK View Post
First, let me say I do not want to be humiliated, dominated, etc...
WHAT?!

This was mainly the reson I put the "am I a cuck" title, what I mean to say is that I do not feel I am submissive and wouldnt be interested in the chastity, sissy, or cleaning ideas that some have (nothing against those that do but not how I feel). Perhaps I am more of a voyeur.

If I were "Son of John," I would suggest a vacation with your wife at a nudist camp. Once there (assuming she agrees), observe how she responds to nude men she doesn't know looking at her — and also, notice whether she seems to like looking at them, and whether she more-or-less openly looks at their cocks. (You might encourage her to do that.) Since summer is rapidly approaching, you could probably do this in the reasonably-near future.

Various others on this site would probably suggest identifying a swingers club in or near your local area. Then, arrange to go there as visitors to observe the action. (Apparently most swingers clubs welcome potential new members on an "observer only" basis, no participation required.)

I can't recommend either of the above from personal experience, but both strike me as fairly good ways to proceed. Neither approach would commit you and your wife to anything.

My wife is quite shy in public and I dont think I could ever get her to go to either a nudist camp and or a swingers club.

Whatever we do is compromised by having children at home (we left it quite late to have kids)

You wife needs a glimpse inside your mind, so she can understand why watching her with another man excites you so much. But if she were to let you have your fantasy (even once) could lead to her becoming addicted to other cocks.

Yes I tried to do this this morning and raised the issue when not having sex rather than as I normally do when we are having sex. Hopefully I got the point over about my feelings but these conversation never really go as I rehearse them.

A wife goes through a lot of emotional adjustment to break her wedding vows (even with your permission) and there is no turning back the clock if you suddenly get cold feet when your face is inches from another guy's sperm dripping out of her pussy.

I have to admit that it does worry me a bit how I might react, presented with it actually happening. I guess it is one of those things you cannot really tell until it does. I cannot seem to let the idea go though.

Your wife needs absolute re-assurance that her marriage won't suffer damage from her hopping onto a bed with a stranger. You could sign a contract not to ask for a divorce if you get jealous of the guys she lets ride her pussy and suck her titties.

Yes I agree, and even if I hated it I would have to accept that it is something I wanted to try. I do not think we need to sign a contract as we have a very stable relationship, but would be happy to do so if thats something she needs.

Just for some more background information I am 47 my wife is 44, I have been with her since she was 18 and neither of us have been with anyone else.

 

[joesoap]

Where in UK?

Hi Alan, where in the UK are you from?

 

[Custer Laststand]

Thank you Custer and Saraha.

You're welcome.

Trying the quote thing hope it works.

It did.

This was mainly the reason I put "am I a cuck" in title.

The short answer is, "no." The definition is: cuckold — a man with an unfaithful wife. It's short and simple. It's also operational. Merely thinking about your wife making you her cuckold and/or finding yourself turned on by that idea does not make you her cuckold in reality.

If your wife were to fuck another man or fuck other men on a continuing basis, then you would be her cuckold.

What I mean to say is, I do not feel I am submissive and wouldn't be interested in the chastity, sissy, or cleaning ideas that some have.

Those things are sort of like cake decorations that appeal to some but not others. The cake is, your wife fucks other men. If she does, you are her cuckold. If she doesn't, you aren't.

Perhaps I am more of a voyeur.

If your wife fucks other men in front of you and you want to think of yourself as a voyeur, in addition to being her cuckold... hey, why not?

My wife is quite shy in public and I dont think I could ever get her to go to either a nudist camp and or a swingers club.

Nothing wrong with that. Lots of people are shy in front of others. (As I understand it, if you and your wife were to visit a swingers club on a "checking it out to see if you're interested" basis, there would be no expectation that either or both of you would take off your clothes if you did not wish to do that.)

Whatever we do is compromised by having children at home (we left it quite late to have kids).

That does, as you say, make things more complicated. There are some threads on that subject in this forum. If you spend some time reading around you'll find them (probably).

Yes I tried to do this this morning and raised the issue when not having sex rather than as I normally do when we are having sex.

Talking about this in the cold light of day (as it's called), instead of when you and your wife are in bed, hot, fucking and fantasizing, is a good way to get a better reading on how both of you really feel about it.

Hopefully I got the point over about my feelings, but these conversation never really go as I rehearse them.

The problem is, you can rehearse what you want to say but not how your wife will respond.

I cannot seem to let the idea go though. .... I am 47; my wife is 44. I have been with her since she was 18 and neither of us has been with anyone else.

You and your wife are still relatively young, but not that young. Thus, if you seriously want to transform your marriage to a "cuckold husband / hotwife" relationship you're right to be concerning yourself with that now, as opposed to putting it off because you aren't sure how your wife might respond. In any case, it sounds like her responses so far are at least somewhat positive.

If you live in or near a town or city where there is a college or university, that could potentially be a pool of unattached hot-and-horny young men. You might consider fantasizing with your wife about her taking lovers who are much younger (around 20). An advantage may be that your wife might find such lovers very satisfying in bed while being unlikely to take them seriously as potential new marital partners. I.e., she could view them as true fuck buddies and you would be relieved, presumably, of anxiety over whether they would be threats to your marriage.

 

[Son of John]

I would not call you a cuck! I would describe you as a "wife-sharer". The difference is that the cuck suffers from the experience, but the sharer does not. A Sharer completely enjoys the experience of sharing his wife's naked body with another man, or men. It turns him on greatly to see another man shoving his prick into his own wife's pussy!

One of the other posters referred to my earlier suggestion that a beginner, like you, take his wife to a nudist club and experience for the first time seeing his wife go naked before other men and seeing their reactions.

I know from experience that it is a tremendous turn-on to know that other men are studying your wife's tits ad pussy and, no doubt, thinking of how they would like to fuck her.

Try this first, and sharing her pussy can soon follow!

 

[AlanUK]

Where in UK?
Hi Alan, where in the UK are you from?

I am a southerner (London)

 

[AlanUK]

You and your wife are still relatively young, but not that young. Thus, if you seriously want to transform your marriage to a "cuckold husband / hotwife" relationship you're right to be concerning yourself with that now, as opposed to putting it off because you aren't sure how your wife might respond. In any case, it sounds like her responses so far are at least somewhat positive.

Yes I am aware that time marches on, nice to be called relatively young though

If you live in or near a town or city where there is a college or university, that could potentially be a pool of unattached hot-and-horny young men. You might consider fantasizing with your wife about her taking lovers who are much younger (around 20). An advantage may be that your wife might find such lovers very satisfying in bed while being unlikely to take them seriously as potential new marital partners. I.e., she could view them as true fuck buddies and you would be relieved, presumably, of anxiety over whether they would be threats to your marriage.

I have to admit that this has ocurred to me, as yes it is unlikely that any long term relationship would develop, but of course I am not the only one to decide on the other party.

 

[AlanUK]

AlanUK, there are tons more reasons why a wife might be reluctant to fulfill a cuckold fantasy for her husband. Some of the responses have eluded to some of those. I might add that she could be reluctant because of how she feels about the appearance of her body, or because of her moral fiber or religious upbringing; is she a devoted Catholic, by the way? This kind of fantasy is obviously not for everyone, or for both parties of a marriage, either. In fact, its much more likely that it is NOT rather than that it is. So, you'll need to respect her reluctance to doing this + the fact that you 2 have been together for so long and she has only been with you. So, what you're asking her to consider is a major decision. Why would she want to add risk to herself or her children to a otherwise very stable marriage?

I agree that it is a major decision and perhaps she is not sure in her own mind if she would enjoy this or not. I know I have spent a lot of time thinking about before coming to my own conclusions. I do know that she does enjoy the fantasy very much. Religion does not come into it were are both pretty much atheists.

Is all this worth risking a marriage like you have? A lot of people would love having a rather bland, but happy, marriage like you have.

This is something I have though long and hard about and I have come to the conclusion that it is worth the risk, a risk which I think is manageable as we do as you say have a very stable relationship. Of course she may not think it worth the risk and I would respect that.

If you feel its important that you experience this, however, try approaching this on a "wife share" or "swinging" basis ... not cuckolding. If she is shy, as you say she is, you have a lot of small challenges before you get right down to the sex part. Reassure her that IF she will consider playing with another man, in front of you, you'll be there holding her hand and reassuring her + the guy will use a condom for safety, etc etc. Small steps to help her relax and more seriously consider this. Possibly purchase one of those life-like penises from an adult store and use it on her the next time you roleplay. My wife has one and loves it, actually.

Agree with using a condom, not willing to risk our lives! I did buy a penis shaped vibrator once but she doesnt really use it (says its too intense) but perhaps a dildo might work, seems a good suggestion.

So, my suggestion ... occasionally mention it, and possibly role play it, but don't push on her to do this or she may start questioning whether you really love and respect her, if you do ... Mac

It is easy to push this too hard and I try not to do this, have to say rather that we role play this around 80% of the time so probably should ease up on that. Today she came up with a scenario where she went back to someones house on her own and they filmed the action for me to watch later.


One more piece of the jigsaw (sorry for not being upfront about this but its not easy for a man to say this) I do have an issue sexually, not with getting an erection but I dont last more than a few seconds during intercourse which I know is frustrating for her (and me of course)

 

[AlanUK]

I would not call you a cuck! I would describe you as a "wife-sharer". The difference is that the cuck suffers from the experience, but the sharer does not. A Sharer completely enjoys the experience of sharing his wife's naked body with another man, or men. It turns him on greatly to see another man shoving his prick into his own wife's pussy!

On that definition then yes I agree I am not a cuck, perhaps I shouldnt be posting here? Although this forum seems best suited to my situation.

If it happens Custer's definition (and a dictionary definition) would define me as a cuck, but I would not consider her as being unfaithful if I had agreed it could happen.

One of the other posters referred to my earlier suggestion that a beginner, like you, take his wife to a nudist club and experience for the first time seeing his wife go naked before other men and seeing their reactions.

I know from experience that it is a tremendous turn-on to know that other men are studying your wife's tits ad pussy and, no doubt, thinking of how they would like to fuck her.

Try this first, and sharing her pussy can soon follow!

I am afraid that we are not particularly extrovert people and I dont think I could get my wife to go to a nudist club or even a swingers club. Although I agree it would be an easy way to start.

 

[Saraha]

If a wife is going to take of her clothes and have sex with other men, she NEEDS TO ENJOY IT IMMENSELY, otherwise what is the point?

If she is going to have a lot of orgasms with other men (to please her cuckold husband), then she is most likely to DEVELOP LOVE FEELINGS for these BULLS she lies in bed with. HOW CAN SHE NOT ?

You can't expect her to act like a **********, lay on her back for 20 mins and dream what she will do with the $100 the guy drops on her sideboard as payment.

A wife who is encouraged to fuck other men will most likely become VERY FOND of them, even if she prefers her husband the most. She needs space for each guy, without interference, so she can enjoy each encounter.

 

[AlanUK]

If a wife is going to take of her clothes and have sex with other men, she NEEDS TO ENJOY IT IMMENSELY, otherwise what is the point?

Aboslutely agreee no point unless she does enjoy it immensely.

If she is going to have a lot of orgasms with other men (to please her cuckold husband), then she is most likely to DEVELOP LOVE FEELINGS for these BULLS she lies in bed with. HOW CAN SHE NOT ?

The whole point is to have sexual satisfaction without love for the participant? After all love is what she has with me.

You can't expect her to act like a **********, lay on her back for 20 mins and dream what she will do with the $100 the guy drops on her sideboard as payment.

No but see answer to point one (although we have used this as a fantasy too.

A wife who is encouraged to fuck other men will most likely become VERY FOND of them, even if she prefers her husband the most. She needs space for each guy, without interference, so she can enjoy each encounter.

Maybe I am misguided but I see this as extended part of our relationship rather than additional relationship(s).

 

[Bull_y]

I think you have to chose carefully the bull you would arrange this with, and what they have in mind in order to get the setup you require...

Happy to meet a fellow Londonner

 

[Saraha]

I agree that it is a major decision and perhaps she is not sure in her own mind if she would enjoy this or not. I know I have spent a lot of time thinking about before coming to my own conclusions. I do know that she does enjoy the fantasy very much. Religion does not come into it were are both pretty much atheists.



This is something I have though long and hard about and I have come to the conclusion that it is worth the risk, a risk which I think is manageable as we do as you say have a very stable relationship. Of course she may not think it worth the risk and I would respect that.



Agree with using a condom, not willing to risk our lives! I did buy a penis shaped vibrator once but she doesnt really use it (says its too intense) but perhaps a dildo might work, seems a good suggestion.



It is easy to push this too hard and I try not to do this, have to say rather that we role play this around 80% of the time so probably should ease up on that. Today she came up with a scenario where she went back to someones house on her own and they filmed the action for me to watch later.


One more piece of the jigsaw (sorry for not being upfront about this but its not easy for a man to say this) I do have an issue sexually, not with getting an erection but I dont last more than a few seconds during intercourse which I know is frustrating for her (and me of course)

There are quite a few brainwave entrainment hypnotic mp3s that can be downloaded to fix premature ejaculation. A small adjustment in your sub-brain sorts it out.

 

[Saraha]

There are quite a few brainwave entrainment hypnotic mp3s that can be downloaded to fix premature ejaculation. A small adjustment in your sub-brain sorts it out.

Premature ejaculation is a powerful compliment to a woman, because it shows you are turned on by her body to a very intense level. It raises her self-esteem, knowing she can make you cum so easily.

However, from a practical point-of-view, she won't get enough strokes inside her love tunnel before she gets sticky and has to be orally stimulated to orgasm.

Hypnotic mp3s will fix p-e if you let yourself believe they can.

 

[AlanUK]

There are quite a few brainwave entrainment hypnotic mp3s that can be downloaded to fix premature ejaculation. A small adjustment in your sub-brain sorts it out.

If you have a link I would be grateful, the only things I have found on the net are where they try to reliev yo of a great deal of cash and I suspect probably wonr work.

 

[AlanUK]

Now we're getting somewhere. This is absolutely not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of because a lot of men experience this. In fact, I link to this info ( I got 'it someplace and I'm sure Custer probably does), but the average time of male ejaculation from sexual intercourse for most guys is LESS THAN 4 minutes. It takes that much time, if not more, to warm most females up ... to get her HOT. Unfortunately, a lot of guys spend way too little time on sexual foreplay ... another big complaint of most females, thus they get sexually frustrated and many times look for another lover that can make them reach orgasm faster.

I have been aware of such a statistic, wish I made it to 4 minutes though, lately about 1 minute is a record, sometimes only just able enter her.
.

#1: Before actually starting intercourse, make sure you HAVE spent sufficient time on sexual foreplay. I, myself, actually give my wife oral to climax, before we even have intercourse. This gets her really wet and slippery inside, otherwise, her tight pussy just jerks me off within minutes.

I always make sure she has an orgasm before we attempt intercourse.

#2: As you approach orgasm, you can reach down and squeeze the base of your cock for about 5-10 seconds (even as you continue intercourse) and this will make your urge of ejaculation subside for a few more minutes. As you continue doing this over several lovemaking sessions, you'll find that you do not have that urge to ejaculate as quickly.

Wil give that a try

#3 Consider using some pre-ejax delay creams for a while. This lowers the sensitivity of lovemaking. Here, you need to do this with a condom ON so you do not also lower HER sensitivity. Again, you're training yourself to NOT cum quite so fast. After a while, you will not need to use the delay creams.

And will try that, though lacks spontaniety

#4 Consider sexual positions that put less sensitivity on making you cum ... for example, I cum faster when I'm on top than when I'm on bottom.

That does make it a bit better for me, she prefers to be on the bottom though and it doesnt improve things sufficiently.


Having said all this, It would be fantastic to be able to improve intercourse, this is not the sole reason for wanting to explore this fantasy.

 

[AlanUK]

Just a short update, I actually managed to give her an orgasm during intercourse today, not that I lasted significantly longer.

She could tell that I was was in need of some release, but she wasnt in the mood so she started to give me a handjob. As is now usual the talk got onto to her getting screwed by a stranger and she got so turned on she demanded I fuck her. She came almost immediately, which is just as well as so did I!

 

[cuckal]

Can we see a pic or two of your soon-to-be cuckoldress Alan?