Am I a cuck?

[noreenandnaz]

Hi, I am new to this site but this is interested me for some time now.

Firstly let me say that I do not want to be humiliated, dominated etc, but what I do want is to watch my wife have sex with someone else.

I am not bi, and do not wish to participate but just watch, is this odd?

I have talked to my wife about this and she enjoys the fantasy but says she does not want to do this for real. She seems to get into it when we fantasise about it but how can I tell if she really would want to do this or not?

Thank you for your time, sorry if this is a bit terse but I am just back from the pub, which has given me the courage to post.

omg, you and your mrs sound like Naz and I from several months ago!

we used to fantasise about me having sex with other men all the time, and have really intense sex at the same time. i love it! I felt like i could let out my deepest darkest fantasies and it almost always involved imagining myself with several guys and being fucked like a slut by all of them, oral, vaginal, anal, everything would be available to them with lots and lots of cum play. sometimes the fantasy involved hubby, sometimes it didn't. sometimes i was the real me and sometimes i played another version of myself. sometimes the men i fucked were strangers, sometimes it was people we knew. nothing was off limits and it really helped me come out of my prudish shell and explore things i'd never do in real life.

well i finally did it in real life and it's been an amazing ride so far (only 4 months in so we're relatively new).

so that brings me to the second thing i wanted to say, it's totally normal that you don't want to be humiliated, dominated, etc. Naz is EXACTLY the same. he has no desire to be treated like that and i to have no desire to have him treated in that way. we enjoy some level of teasing where i pretend to belong to my bull (a white english guy i've been having sex with for last few months), but that's all roleplay. My bull is part of that fantasy and knows that hubby is never really giving me to him and he has no real chance of taking me from my husband. whenever my bull comes to fuck me (pretty much on a weekly basis), hubby is hands off and just likes to watch us. in return i enjoy performing for him, playing the complete slut, and making him proud of me.

so you're not odd at all. you're completely normal (or as normal as it can be given this fantasy of sharing your wife with other men, lol).

and to my final point, how do you know if your wife is ready? you can either do it the correct way by not pushing her and letting the fantasy develop and become normalised in your relationship till one day you sit down and decide to make a decision on finding another guy. or you can do the incorrect way by doing what my husband did, trick her into fucking another man, knowing that once she's really really turned on, she'll probably just do it even though she's been saying she had no intention on ever realising your shared fantasies. don't do it the second way - that could turn out very bad for your relationship and may even be illegal.

 

[AlanUK]

Thanks for all the advice, this is just what I came her for. Even though some is conflicting.

SWTXSHARED 5 years! well it could be that long before anything happens with us.

Noreenandnaz - I have read your blog, and you have come a long way in a few months!

I agree tricking my wife would backfire in a big way, might even lead to divorce so not going to go down that route, and I only want it to happen if it is something she wants too.

I am beginning to think more and more though it is something that will happen, its just a matter of when, and that depends on her of course. Her latest fantasies involve finding a guy at a party, then having sex with him with not only me watching but others as well.

Not sure how realistic this is for her as she is a very shy person, but I suggested I look into swingers clubs and she said okay. (has she been reading this??)

I will do some research and then see what happens when I tell her I have found one!

 

[zippless]

Not sure how realistic this is for her as she is a very shy person, but I suggested I look into swingers clubs and she said okay. (has she been reading this??)

I will do some research and then see what happens when I tell her I have found one!

This is huge progress buddy. When you go there don't rush into anything. Get to know people. Baby steps my friend. Baby steps

 

[Custer Laststand]

I am beginning to think more and more though it [my wife taking lovers] is something that will happen, it's just a matter of when, and that, of course, depends on her. Her latest fantasies involve finding a guy at a party, then having sex with him with not only me watching but others as well.

This sounds very promising. Thinking about fucking other men is more-or-less a prerequisite, and with your encouragement, may lead to your wife actually acting on her thoughts...

Not sure how realistic this is for her as she is a very shy person, but I suggested I look into swingers clubs and she said okay. I will do some research and then see what happens when I tell her I have found one!

I think that would be a good thing to do. Taking your wife to a swingers club, while making it clear you will not participate yourself but rather it will be for her benefit, could turn out to be the key — especially since she suggested it (in effect) herself.

 

[zippless]

I just told everyone "I like to watch". Kind of got the message out there. The previous concern you had about your wife spending time in the after glow with another man doesn't happen around here. The lifestyle is about the couple who go there. After a guy dumps a load into my wife's cunt she always comes over and has that special moment with me. The guy just wants to fuck her and not have a relationship with her. This is the time I feel closest to her.

 

[AlanUK]

Hi friends.

Well I thought it was going well as I mentioned that I had done some research and found a place far enough away where we would not know anyone and also was not quite so commercial as some.

I suggested that we check it out at first without the intention of doing something.

She was concerned that we may be expected to get involved, but I assured her that there is no pressure at these places.

The she was concerned that if/when something did happen it would be a swapping type situation and she didn't want me to be involved sexually with anyone else.

I explained that this particular club has sessions on Saturdays that had couples only, and sessions on Fridays that they allow singles (single guys being the interest) and maybe we should go on a Friday.

So, that is how it was, when , stupidly I pushed things too far when she was not really in the mood for sex and I was feeling horny, and wanted to fantasise about it. Bad mistake, she then when back to saying she didnt want to do it, and got a bit pissed off with me, and 'why can't we just do things together and not involve fantasies of others.

So its been one step forward and two steps back!

For other reasons we have not had much alone time, and other things causing a bit of stress generally (which will come to an end soon) , so I am just backing off at the moment.

 

[Custer Laststand]

[My wife] was concerned that if/when something did happen [if we visit a "swing club,"] it would be a swapping situation — and, she doesn't want me to be involved sexually with anyone else.

My impression is, this is a reason widely-shared among married women — it may be the most widespread reason — for not wanting, or claiming they don't want, to date, seduce and fuck other men. They fear that, in reality, their cuckold-inclined husbands just want to use that as an excuse to start pursuing other women, which (they're convinced) would put their marriages at risk. And, if that happened, they would probably be right.

After some time has passed and the dust has settled, so to speak, you might consider... as a gesture of your sincerity... when you and your wife are in bed together, feeling suitably turned on... informing her that as part of your "cuckold fantasy," you're going to start wearing women's panties (knickers, as they're called in the UK) "for her," to show her that you have no intention of taking off your pants — in fact, would not dare take off your pants — for any other woman.

I mean, as a self-respecting married man — or even as a less-than-self-respecting married man — you would obviously not seduce another woman then take off your pants, only to have her realize you're wearing ladies knickers and begin laughing at you, right...?

You could mention to your wife that this will only be to enhance your and her cuckold fantasy — I suggest downplaying any perception on her part that you're doing this in an attempt to "coerce" her into visiting a swing club with you.

You might, however, point out that you've come to realize there are many women who require their cuckold husbands to wear women's panties, to remind them on a daily basis that they are not "real men" capable of satisfying them — as well as for the above reason, of course.

Meanwhile, you can be confident your wife will not have forgotten about all this. It will be circulating in the back of her mind.

I suggest patience, tolerance, and a continuing effort to perceive your wife's responses from her point of view.

 

[AlanUK]

Custer,

Thank you for your comments, knickers is indeed the word, but I think that is going too far. I have had no interest in wearing women's clothing, and it is is something my wife has expressed opinions on before as something she finds, tying to find the right words, repulsive I was going to use but maybe too strong but you will get what I mean.

Also, as you recall I have said before it seems I am more about wifesharing rather then any humiliation aspect (if not in others eyes as that would be avoided still would be in her eyes).

I have not had any discussions lately because she is an a very low libido state of mind at the moment. She goes through phases of being insatiable (well at least too much for me) to periods when she has no interest in sex at all. It is the latter sort of mood she is in at the moment and has been the last few weeks.

However, I am sure it will turn around soon and so we will see if she has interest in going to a club then. One point I may bring up, and I have mentioned this in this thread before is my 'hair trigger' (which was a problem during a lap dance I had in Las Vegas, just managed to hide my embarrassment then.) So one reason I wouldn't want to get involved with another woman is the obvious embarrassment I would be subjected to when minimal stimulation would send me over. (I am a one shot guy too).