Curious Wife

[Alexis]

It's been quite awhile since I've posted anything, though I do drop in from time to time to browse around the site. I just thought it was time I said hi to everyone.

I am in a good place in my life right now, and part of that is due to a lot of the help and suggestions I got from many of you in here. This past year has provided me with some of the best times of my life, as well as with some of the most challenging. I seem to have come through it still intact, which at times seemed impossible.

Well, once again, hello to all, and I hope everyone in this lifestyle is as happy as I am right now.

Lexxi

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Good to hear from you!

It's been quite awhile since I've posted anything...

Ain't that the truth...

...though I do drop in from time to time to browse around the site. I just thought it was time I said hi to everyone.

That's cool. Hi!

I am in a good place in my life right now, and part of that is due to a lot of the help and suggestions I got from many of you in here.

Ah... that's good to hear. And, good to hear you weren't totally put off and turned off by all the combat among us self-appointed "advice experts."

This past year has provided me with some of the best times of my life...

Very good! That, of course, was and is the purpose of becoming your cuckold's cuckoldress... and if possible, cuckoldress par excellance.

...as well as with some of the most challenging.

Oh, oh...

I seem to have come through it still intact, which at times seemed impossible.

Excellent! It sounds like you have managed your cuckold skillfully while pursuing hot sex with your large-cock black lover. Um... you and your cuckold are still married, aren't you...?

Well, once again, hello to all, and I hope everyone in this lifestyle is as happy as I am right now. —Lexxi

Yes, hello again to you too and thank you for titillating us by checking in with your slightly-mysterious update. I hope you don't make us wait months again before you clarify such comments (above) as: "I came through it all still intact, which at times seemed impossible;" and, "this year has provided me with .... some of the most challenging times of my life."

Please don't be so bashful! We know you have strong verbal skills (and are a good typist as well), because you've demonstrated that convincingly.

—Custer

 

[Alexis]

Hello Custer. Thanks for the kind words. To comment on some of your remarks/questions...

No, I am not turned off at all by anyone here or anything said here. I do apologize, however, for the childish way I acted at times. Some of the comments were very hurtful at the time. My mental state was causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. I was taking everything very personal. That's why I've decided to post again now. I've pretty much gotten all my "issues" resolved and I feel very much back to my old self again.

As for still being married...yes, I am.

As for "pursuing hot sex with my large-cock black lover"...no, I'm not.

...I am, however, still cuckolding my husband, just not with the same guy.

No, I won't take months to post again. In two or three days I'll have some time to sit down and clarify some of my comments, and start updating some of the things that have been happening in my life.

In the mean time, I hope everyone feels free to add a comment, ask a question or just say hi.

Lexxi

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Hello Custer. Thanks for the kind words.

You're welcome.

To comment on some of your remarks and questions: no, I am not turned off at all by anyone here or anything said here. I do apologize, however, for the childish way I acted at times.

Hey, no need to apologize. There was plenty of childishness to go around.

Some of the comments were very hurtful at the time.

Yes... it seemed to me you were victimized, to a certain extent, by a characteristic of this forum I've observed over the years. It is that female members who post describing their thoughts, feelings, motivations and experiences cuckolding their husbands... arguably the most important half of what this forum is all about... tend to be subjected to hostile replies and comments from a sub-population of forum members who might be called "cuckold conservatives." These seem to be men who might acknowledge that married women sometimes (often, in some cases) take lovers, but as "men who are supposed to be in charge" they don't really like the idea. At a minimum, they want to be "in charge" of their wives' extramarital sex and "in control" of the action. Thus, women whose posts make it clear they are driving the action and are the dominant partners in their marriages when it comes to insisting (albeit indirectly, perhaps) on their right to date and fuck other men... because they require that for their personal sexual satisfaction hence their marital happiness... as well as, perhaps, being the dominant partners in their marriages in a broader sense... give rise to hostility from "cuckold conservatives" because they are perceived as violating the ancient judeo-christian ethic that a man is the "king of his castle, the "head of his household" and, although he is no longer allowed to legally be "the owner of his wife" (in western societies), he is expected to "keep his wife under control." This traditional cultural view of female/male relationships is very hard to get beyond.

My mental state was causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. I was taking everything very personal.

Yes, I would think so. You set out to break multiple major cultural taboos, and did so (successfully, it sounds like).

That's why I've decided to post again now. I've pretty much gotten all my "issues" resolved and I feel very much back to my old self again.

Good... that's very positive.

As for still being married...yes, I am.

Also good. An underlying assumption of the "cuckold husband / hotwife" style of marriage, as I'm sure you're well aware, is that greater mutual satisfaction in a marriage can be attained if the husband acknowledges it is entirely proper for it to be his wife's privilege and prerogative to date and fuck other men, while accepting that it is also entirely reasonable for her to expect him to remain faithful as her cuckold. This concept, which on the face of it seems outrageous, is fundamental (IMO) to the advance of women to their proper roles... including major leadership roles... in their marriages, including their families in a broader sense, and in society. Thus, it would have seemed unfortunate if your pursuit (indeed, insistence on) this style of marriage had resulted in disintegration of your relationship with your cuckold.

As for "pursuing hot sex with my large-cock black lover"...no, I'm not.

Sigh... ah, well...

...I am, however, still cuckolding my husband, just not with the same guy.

Excellent! From the point of view of maintaining the health of your marriage, it would seem advantageous for a woman such as yourself to enjoy the sexual pleasures of a variety of lovers rather than staying with one extramarital lover long-term. (I have no "statistical basis" for saying this; rather, it's an intuitive judgement.)

No, I won't take months to post again. In two or three days I'll have some time to sit down and clarify some of my comments, and start updating some of the things that have been happening in my life. —Lexxi

Cool! I, and many other forum members as well, no doubt, will look forward to reading more from you.

—Custer

 

[peakmb]

Lexxi,
Welcome back. I for one am looking forward to reading about your journey over the last few months. It can not have been easy for you either to make it or to make the decision to again share it in some way with us all here.

I only hope that we can actually spot it among the multi page mega posts from Custard, but that may be too much to ask ..

 

[HornyMax]

You should stop worring about this black fantacy ! what would your parents or children think !. i think u should get your husband and strip him down and suck his cock untill his hard and fuck him for all his worth !!! U will enjoy it more than u think ! his your man !

 

[MasterTime]

I can say what i wanted to say you know how all serial killers have a Modus Operandi
well good writers do to you are all over the internet lexxi you know what I mean

 

[okdeacon]

Its Wonderful I Hope For You

You really scared me. You talked as if you were going to destroy your life and maybe some others. It is for sure none of my business but please know, i was very worried for you. Also know that there is no one in the world more happier for you than me. Cuckolding is some real hot fun and you seem to be having a good time with it now. Bet your hubby is very happy to still have your love. What ever you do i will be thinking of you and wishing you all the happiness that is allowed for one person to have. Damm this is good news to hear. I hope not a single heart was broken. Most important i hope you are enjoying your life. ok deacon took time to say this to you.

 

[Alexis]

Wow. It's been a little over three months since I last posted. It doesn't seem like that long, but I guess it has been. I apologize for saying I would post in a few days and then not doing it, but I guess life just gets busy sometimes.

Well, enough about that. I promised an update, so I guess I'll start one.

It was pretty much a year ago when I was on here and talked about falling in love with my bull and leaving my husband. My emotions at that time were through the roof. I look back now and realize that I was in the middle of what could be called, if I were younger, a "school girl crush". It was "puppy love" big time. I had never experienced anything like that when I was a "school girl", so I guess it was just late in coming. Love and lust became one and the same with me(as I guess they probably do for most people, at least at certain times).

Then something happened that changed everyihing. I had a chance meeting with another man. We had both been drinking, and he started flirting(or was it me that started it?). Anyway, one thing led to another, and we ended up spending the night together. He was a very demanding lover, and I submitted to him completely. For that night, I was away from all the confusion about my husband and my bull, and I belonged totally to this stranger. The thing was though, I belonged to him only SEXUALLY. The next morning we each went our separate ways.

The next time I was with my bull, it seemed different somehow. The sex was great, but it seemed more like "fucking" and less like "making love". It seemed different at home too. When I was at home with my hubby, it now actually felt like I truly was "at home", and that my hubby was part of that home. It took awhile, but little by little after that, I realized more and more everyday that my hubby was the man I loved, even though I wasn't fucking him...and anyone else, including my bull from work, were the ones I was fucking, even though I didn't love them.

It seemed to have taken a one night stand with a stranger to get me back on track and separate the love from the lust.

I will post again with an update on things since what I just told here. I'm not going to set a time frame this time though. I don't know when it will be, but I'll TRY to do it soon this time.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

It's good to see you back, and thank you for the insight you've provided with your description of how you came to what can reasonably be called (IMO) a realistic view, emotionally and intellectually, of dating and fucking other men in the context of your marriage and what became your renewed love for your cuckold.

I'll have to say, I became concerned about you when you said... some time ago... that you were seriously considering divorcing your cuckold because you had "fallen in love" with your bull. I was relieved when you posted more recently... about 3 months ago, as you say... informing us, in response to my question, that you hadn't done that.

Your comments of today seem to support the hypothesis —if it can be called that — that in a "cuckold husband / hotwife" marriage, the couple will more likely be able to maintain their marriage, and perhaps even have a more erotic and sexually-satisfying marriage from the points of view of both partners, if the wife takes multiple lovers rather than having one long-term lover with whom, despite herself (so to speak), she is very likely to establish a strong emotional bond.

Next time you find time to post, I — and many others, I suspect — will appreciate it if you would be willing to give us a description of how your relationship with your cuckold has evolved. Quite a while ago, when you and your black, big-cock, exceptionally-satisfying "at work" lover first seduced each other, you implied (without saying so directly) your marriage rather quickly took on a "dominant wife / submissive husband" character and... not incidentally... you discovered your husband, whom you began requiring address you as "ma'am" as in "yes, ma'am," had a fetish for your feet. Your playing to his foot fetish appeared to enable him to adapt well, and quickly, to his new role as your submissive cuckold.

Have you continued your "dominant wife / submissive cuckold" style of marriage, and... given your comment that you no longer fuck your husband, but rather seek and find sexual satisfaction with your lovers... does playing to and exploiting your cuckold's fetish for your feet enable him to derive indirect sexual satisfaction in your marriage?

Thanks again for your post, and thank you in advance for any additional posts you might find time to favor us with in the future.

—Custer

 

[Alexis]

Wow. Has it been 5 months since I last posted? I guess it has. At this point, I really don't know where to begin as far updating all that has been going on since then, and even before then. Let me just say that hubby and I have grown into a relationship that works for us. We do love each other, and are actually better friends than we ever have been. As far as he and I being lovers, well that ship has sailed. The pleasure I give and receive sexually with black men continues to be a constant in my life.

I guess the only thing I can do is offer to answer SPECIFIC questions, either here or in private messages, whichever anyone prefers, and if anyone prefers.

 

[lookin1000]

does that mean your black only sexually now?

 

[Alexis]

does that mean your black only sexually now?

Yes, I am black only and have been since my first "taste".

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Good to see you back. Since you've offered to answer questions, per:

I guess the only thing I can do is offer to answer SPECIFIC questions, either here or in private messages, whichever anyone prefers, and if anyone prefers.

I'll repost some I asked on 18 Oct. 2011. That is:

I'd appreciate it if you would be willing to give us a description of how your relationship with your cuckold has evolved. Quite a while ago, when you and your black, big-cock, exceptionally-satisfying "at work" lover first seduced each other, you implied (without saying so directly) your marriage rather quickly took on a "dominant wife / submissive husband" character. Also, you discovered your husband, whom you began requiring address you as "ma'am," had a fetish for your feet. Your playing to his foot fetish appeared to enable him to adapt well, and quickly, to his new role as your submissive cuckold.

Have you continued your "dominant wife / submissive cuckold" style of marriage?

Given your comment that you no longer fuck your husband, but rather seek and find sexual satisfaction with your black lovers, does playing to and exploiting your cuckold's fetish for your feet enable him to derive indirect sexual satisfaction in your marriage?

Thanks for any comments on this you might be willing to pass along.

—Custer

 

[ou812rich]

Black only? Give me a break! I've had lovers who'd fucked blacks but they've always ended up with a white husband/lover. What's with this "black only" thing? Why would anyone want to restrict themselves? Too many on here confuse B&D and S&M with cuckolding. If you want to be humiliated or want to humiliate your husband find the correct site. I've both cuckolded husbands and been cuckolded and never have wanted to be humiliated and never have had a desire to suck cock. Get your fetishes straight.

 

[mybuttplug]

Thanks for sharing your journey with us, Lexxi.

I am interested to know the status of your cuckold. Does he watch you with your BBC's? Does he clean you now? Have you made him into the sissy you imagined?

 

[debscleaner]

thanks lexxi for telling us your tale of entering the cuckold world, very interesting journey! has your hubby progressed any? maybe trying a creampie yet?

 

[Alexis]

Well, I haven't posted in a while. Things have been hectic. I thought I'd take a little time to catch up.

 

[Alexis]

ou812rich, I can appreciate your frustration a bit more than some, I imagine. So many posters seem to have their own definitions and meanings to words that are so well defined and intended to be so specific. Sometimes it makes having a discussion about them very difficult. Cuckolding seems to be one of of those words.

That said, couples into the "voluntary" cuckold activities (not the true type) have developed scenerios & roll playing that caters to their specific interests, wheither it be humiliation of the cuck, creampies, sissy dressing, blacking, pregnancy, cocklocks, sex restrictions, whatever ... its all about incorporating a set of activities that both the cuck & wife can enjoy to stimulate interest in each other.

I always invite new posters, and others, to stop by my cuckold album to view a few of the scenerios I've mentioned. Some are a bit graphic ... particularly the castration pics I occasionally post. Here's a link to that album:

Cuckolds.com Forums - MacNfries's Album: A CUCKOLD'S LIFE

When we discuss the true meaning of cuckolding, it has NOTHING to do with just fucking black men, or cock size, or any of the other scenerios previously mentioned. True cuckolding has to do with a married woman cheating on her husband (infidelity) ... either with or without his knowledge. We rarely have posters here who are considered "real" cuckolds ... or men who's wives are really cheating on them. Usually they're in depression, or fighting divorce, or seeing marriage counselors ... much to busy to have a "pity party" with posters at a cuckold site, that's for sure.

At any rate, I understand your frustration ... lol Mac

Mac, I can understand your frustration with people not understanding that a cuckold is a man whose wife cheats or cheated on him. Simple as that.

A site like this deals with people's feelings and experiences with cuckolding, told mostly by people who not only enjoy cuckolding, but enjoy the fetishes and taboos that can come with it.

No, the word cuckold isn't about creampies, bi-sex, fem-dom or any of the other topics constantly discussed here.

It just means "YOUR WIFE GOT SOME STRANGE"!!!

Doesn't matter if you know or not, like it or not or maybe even suggested it. It all adds up to the same thing...if she fucked another guy, you're a cuckold.

Mac, I don't want to speak for you, but I can imagine that a guy like yourself who enjoys being a cuckold in certain aspects, but isn't bi must become upset when he sees things lumping all cucks together as being bisexual (not that there's anything wrong with that). Periodically on here I've seen you address this subject, and I understand.

OK...now getting to the point of all this...

Don't know if you noticed or not, Mac, but this was a poor time to be "throwing in" with ou812rich.

You say you can appreciate his frustration, and as I told you in the paragraphs above, I understand yours.

His problem, however, isn't with how the word cuckold is used and sometimes abused.

His problem is much more easy to identify, especially lately for me.

HE IS A FUCKING RACIST!!!

 

[Alexis]

Black only? Give me a break! I've had lovers who'd fucked blacks but they've always ended up with a white husband/lover. What's with this "black only" thing? Why would anyone want to restrict themselves? Too many on here confuse B&D and S&M with cuckolding. If you want to be humiliated or want to humiliate your husband find the correct site. I've both cuckolded husbands and been cuckolded and never have wanted to be humiliated and never have had a desire to suck cock. Get your fetishes straight.

Yeah, I get it. How could I ever have a sexual preference that you don't agree with. I should have gotten your approval first.

Hey, look at the brightside. Things could be worse. One could be moving into your neighborhood.