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Her enjoying taking more control

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
  • Start date
Hey everyone - thanks for all your concerns - but I think it is much ado about very little - see what you think after you read what happened here Tuesday and last night....

There has been a bit of discussion here. Despite what some of you may have thought, this is far from a done-deal. I was going to update last night but was having too much fun and then actually wanted to watch some TV with Sue before bed. I used to feel weird going in to be with her after she knows I've been having fun masturbating but now it feels nice - she just smiles and asks if I'm "good now" and she makes if very clear that she likes that I do so.

Anyway as I said, I'm sorry if I made it seem like this was a done-deal with them using our bed. But before I get to that - we were only talking about one evening - certainly not an overnight and certainly not more than just one evening that week. I was thinking that it would simply be that they were at our house the Friday of that week.

I will be the first to admit that I am probably over-reacting regarding our "marital bed" - but nonetheless it isn't a step that I want them to take, at least not just yet. It actually came to a head on Tuesday night. I knew we were going to have sex after we got back from our daughters graduation ceremony especially with Sue taking yesterday off from work.

We were getting turned on and Sue was going into her teasing mode. She continued with what she'd started and told me that "you have to wait" and she got Jim out again. She told me to kneel there and watch her "get fucked" (I knew she was horny when she used the f-word). She made it a point to use a bit of lubricant and teased me with what you can expect - "you get me next" and "I'll be all wet for you". I was rock hard watching her bring herself off with the dildo and when she pulled it out she said "okay, your turn". I was on her in a flash and I let my mind go with what she was saying. I really loved being in her so soon after her own orgasm - and I let my mind go beyond what she was saying - to what it'll be like if it had been Don in her.

None of you will probably be surprised to hear that when I thought of her and him at that moment and how she'll feel - on top of what she was saying - that I let loose in her like crazy. She squealed and told me how hot my cum felt in her.

It was afterwards as I lay there next to her and looked down at her - yes - looked down to her pussy and the wet-spot below it - that I started to think about what will be after she and Don have their fun and it's his wet-spot.

Sue must have sensed something was up because she rolled over towards me and said "what's up?". But I didn't even need to say anything - she just said "you know, I won't do anything you don't want me to?". I looked at her and - I can even say that I might have been on the edge of a tear or two in my eye and I just said "I don't think I want you and him in our bed.". As I was looking down at that point she put her finger under my chin and pulled my head up and she just said "if you don't want us to do that, then just say so". And she repeated again "you just need to tell me". And then after a minute she said something that made me feel a lot better - she said, and I quote - "I like just my Fridays with him, I thought you wanted more than that. But if you don't, just tell me.".

I guess maybe a few minutes went by of us hugging and such - she felt so good next to me feeling her body against mine. She looked at me and asked if I was okay with what was going on? I told her that I loved what I was feeling towards her - she smiled and said that she was still not sure of what she should and shouldn't be doing - but she added that she liked the changes in me and she mentioned what she felt as more passion between us.

It was one of those moments when it just felt right between us and I just came out and said that I wasn't sure how I felt about it being her AND Don figuring out what was happening. She giggled and said that I was being crazy and I pushed her to tell me more.

What she told me surprised me a bit. She says that she did share with Don what I was looking for and that Don said that he'd help her out if she wanted. She went to him a few weeks ago when I brought it out in the open that I wanted her to do more and it was them together that started to think about what I might want. She said Don thinks it's funny that I actually want more between them and she said that at one point he actually said that I want them together more than they want it at times!

She said they've talked about me a lot. Don is surprised that I am so agreeable to his desires in terms - she didn't need to say it but I know what she was referring to. She said that when she told him that she'd started wearing panties at home that it was Don who was worried that might be too far - and she said to me "but you said that turns you on, right?".

Anyway - it went on for a little longer ending with Sue telling me again that she'd never do anything to hurt me and that if I didn't (or did want something) that I just need to tell her. And then she almost immediately said "so our bedroom is out, don't worry about it" to which I answered that I still wanted them to come here and that I DID still want her right afterwards. She giggled at that and said "of course, that's why I want us to be here!".

So - unless she's giving me a line of BS - which I don't - then I think I'm going to be okay. I had a crazy thought that maybe I'll surprise them when they're here and if it feels right to suggest they use our bed. There IS a part of me that would like to experience that. But it won't be something I decide until that moment.

There's more that she shared with me yesterday that I haven't posted here yet - more about her and Don and me. Some of it's even funny - I think I as well as a lot of people here have the wrong impression of him and his "issues"....
 
STB, thanks for the remarkable and relieving update!!! I don't think I am that too far off on Don just yet, but glad that Sue opened up to you. It was good to hear that she was basically turning to Don simply because she was uncertain what she should and should not do.

A few things remain unclear but for the most part I think you did a great thing in letting Sue know your concerns. It was also good that rather than try to convince you to just go along that Sue took your concerns seriously!!
 
Jax - I think the thing that I wasn't fully expecting was Sue's openness with Don to discussing with him (and in turn him having an opinion) of what she would do for/to me next.

I guess it makes sense as I don't think there is anyone else she can really bounce this off of. I guess maybe I should be glad that Don seems to understand the situation - although as you point out, he is finding it to his advantage.

More later tonight as I will probably have time on my hand....
 
STB, thanks for putting that better than I could. I was seeing Sue's revealing everything to Don as almost a betrayal. By giving him the entire picture and giving him an opinionat all was a red flag to me.
 
Sorry, hit send too fast. It does give Don an extremely advantageous position as both her lover as well as her partner in crime so to speak. With his demands or terms as Sue put it, along with knowing his feelings on you making love with Sue and his contempt for you cumming in her, I was seeing territorial behavior on his part. Maybe you should try to talk with Sue to find out more about what their discussions involving you consist of.
 
I'm with Jax once again. Don may not be "planning" but he is territorial and as such it follows that he wants to be in control which means that Sue and you Stb are to submit to his wishes. He may not be pushing for your marriage break up but let us say that he probably would not care if it did. He has nothing to lose.
 
STB, Glad you sorted the bed issue out agreeably. Did you also get round to asking Sue what the YET bit was all about too ??
 
Shidave said:
I'm with Jax once again. Don may not be "planning" but he is territorial and as such it follows that he wants to be in control which means that Sue and you Stb are to submit to his wishes. He may not be pushing for your marriage break up but let us say that he probably would not care if it did. He has nothing to lose.
Click to expand...

Sure he does. If Sue and STB's marriage broke up, it would be logical to expect Sue would then want more of a real relationship with him, which he has made clear he does not want.

I stand by my statement that Don isn't smart enough to be a master manipulator. He wears his desires too far out on his sleeve to be any good at it. And I still think part of what Sue likes about Don is his "caveman" tendencies, and that those tendencies make him poor relationship material. It keeps her from getting in too deep with him, the way she did with Brad, and allows her to keep the focus with Don on just getting naked and fucking.
 
I went back and re-read STB's post concerning the Saturday conversation with Sue. I am unsure if STB was allowing his feelings to effect how the conversation was shared in his post here. But after re-reading the post and the way the information was shared, I still saw some of my original concerns. STB has admitted to one of them and that is Sue's being completely open to Don about everything. Sue mentions her and Don had been talking about STB for weeks. I would be worried what else has been discussed for STB. I wouldn't feel comfortable at all with Don having ideas and opinions on how often STB is making love to Sue. Sue feeling the need to manipulate STB during his vulnerable times in convincing him not to object to the desires of both Sue and Don (her admission) isn't right.

In the last update, STB points out Sue's almost 180 on all those plans. She did so once STB revealed his true objections to the bedroom plans. But am I the only one who picked up on everything Sue was suggesting suddenly getting dropped? No mention of STB opposing Sue and Don meeting more than just on Friday. Yet that was also dropped.

Sue admitted to Don, and later to STB, that she was unsure of what was and was not ok in thier relationship (hers and Don's). Guidance from STB and him being open and up front about his feelings will resolve that. Sue did state she didn't want to do anything to hurt STB. That being said, why the need to manipulate STB?

Alternately, Sue might have given in so easily to keep the ground she has already won to protect her relationship with Don.

As to Don not wanting a relationship with Sue, he already has one. He is wanting more time with her, wanting to conquer her in the marital bed she shares with STB, and acting territorial over Sue. Sue tells STB his concerns over Don are silly. Sue really believes it too. Sue and Don have developed strong feelings for each other. As such, Sue naturally believes Don would never do anything to hurt her.
 
Jax - just a moment before I turn in for the night. I thank you for your concerns but the one thing I think you overlook and what I know meant something to me was her admission that she's happy with just Fridays and that she was doing more because I wanted her to. There was more said that I don't precisely remember but the sentiment I felt was that this wasn't something she was wanting for herself. Yes, she did use the word "yet" at one point and I do know that.

I do think that perhaps one day I will want to see her truly express that desire for herself - so maybe what I feel and maybe what we both feel was that it felt like the pace was picking up - to describe it another way - like the roller coaster suddenly sped up. I feel like maybe the brakes are on now a bit. I know my admission to her was the push that made the ride speed up - but I think maybe too fast, at least for me. I think she knows that, I think she'll approach steps like this maybe differently in the future. Or, then again, maybe I'm reading too much into it (or maybe there's even a sinister conspiracy at play) - whatever, I know that when I crawl into bed next to her in 10 minutes or so - that she'll nuzzle back into me and that feeling cannot be faked.
 
I still think some are over reacting to the situation. I see it as Sue wanting STB to get his fill and enjoy the levels of angst. Sue and don need to talk so that they can plan to give him what he seeks. So the marital bed is going too far maybe, but denial and randomness is something he is looking for and sharedwith sue. Sue can't do this on her own, she does need don and his understandin to make it work. Why does it have to be about stealing her away? Could it be that they are all working toward a common good. Don gets good pussy without the drama of a relationship (what guy wouldn't take that) or commitment, sue gets more dick and allows her to be free sexually, and stb gets his fantasies fulfilled. They are all communicating which is what you need in any successful relationship no matter what the circumstances. I have faith in you stb and in sue. Go with the flow and enjoy the ride! My guess is that you are going to love giving up cumming in sue routinely. Talk about getting a treat when you are allowed to release in her. It's not so bad really folks as sue is thoughtful enought to get stb off in other intimate ways. Good luck stb! I am rooting for you!
 
I don't think that Sue is into anything sinister. She definitely thinks that everything she is doing is for her husbands excitement. However as has been said even though Don may not be a manipulater and only in this for the pussy, it really is not healthy for him to know so much about Stb. Sue is "sleeping with the enemy". I know what the hell do I tnink she has been doing? Fucking is one thing but sharing marital confidences is another.
Having proceeded this far Stb, since you are enjoying the situation of teasing and denial, let it be. It suits you.
However, just as Sue springs little surprises to thrill you, you should put your foot down to let them know that you are not going to be a doormat;even at times when deep down the thought of what she plans excites you. As you are waiting for the shoe to drop so should they. Evens the playing field and reminds Sue (as you did with the bed thing) that you still intend to be her number 1.
 
duke9555 said:
BBC News - 'Old swingers' at high risk of sex infections
Click to expand...

Infection rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea among swingers: 10.4%
Infection rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea among straight people in general: 10.0%

That 0.4% difference doesn't exactly seem significant. Is someone perhaps making a mountain out of a molehill, in order to give the Morality Police an opening?

Things that make you go, hmmmmmmmm.
 
STB:

I was reading back through the pages of time on your adventure and came across this from 9/4/09 what a short time ago but ages if you think what has taken place.

"To Susans-slave, she's said "no" to him about other things. One of them involved his reaction the night I was with them at his place when he didn't want me to be in his bed with Sue. Well, she shared with me that at one point he'd asked (she even sort of made it sound like he almost expected) her to ask me not to cum in her. Apparently that turned him off. She told me that she said she couldn't ever do that (so there to those naysayers here) and that is when she told him about Wednesday and Thursdays and that was as much as she was willing to do."

I am wondering how far you think you would let this go, maybe you haven't given it that much thought, and what do you think made her change her mind to "yet" from "couldn't ever"? If she wants it, where do you see this going?
 
marys_pet said:
Infection rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea among swingers: 10.4%
Infection rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea among straight people in general: 10.0%

That 0.4% difference doesn't exactly seem significant. Is someone perhaps making a mountain out of a molehill, in order to give the Morality Police an opening?

Things that make you go, hmmmmmmmm.
Click to expand...

===========

the comparison was between young unmarrieds ...presumably
dating and fucking in a failrly indiscriminate manner and 'swingers'
over 40 & married BUT swapping out sex partners :cool:
 
Far2 - I do recall that posting and that conversation.
What I can say is that I believe that had I not opened up and asked Sue to do more with Don, that she would have kept that same position as last September.
From what she's said and I've experienced - she is looking beyond just Fridays with Don as a way to fulfill my requests for her to do more with Don. I believe her because as I had previously posted - before I opened up to her, she had given me inklings that maybe things were reaching a plateau or had reached a comfort-point with her - she hadn't suggested anything before I opened up.

Anyway - she reminded me that she should be getting her period so tonight will be the last with Don. I don't think she's going to see him next week with the July 4th and her period so I'm sure we'll have time to sort things out more then.

Tonight, I'm going to leave them alone - our son will be at graduation parties and our daughter will also be at a friends house - so I'll have the house to myself until she gets home. Maybe I'll lie in our bed and try to imagine how I'll feel if I do give in and "let" them use our bed?

I'm sure I'll have more to post later.
 
Thanks for sharing STB. I enjoy trying to understand what you are experiencing. Living life through someone else' thoughts, hmmm. I am sorry to keep questioning you, I just need more and more and more :D Anyway, regardless of the bed (that would be a tough one for me too but it would happen if she wanted it), I think you might enjoy the spontaneity of random meetings (it definitely will add spice and not plateau) plus it will most likely add a new sense of angst having to sacrifice a bit of your closeness with Sue in keeping her clean for Don. I can't wait to see how you'll like it and how you'll become closer emotionally with Sue when it does. Have a wonderful, thought provoking evening and as always I look forward to your thoughts!
 
Sue had more to say?

Mr Soon, you mentioned that when you and Sue were talking there might be more of what she and Don talked about. Did she cover some more ground on that topic? I believe you handled and she responded beautifully to the "bed" senario. Thank you
 
  • #100
One more thing

Mr Soon, have you ever asked Sue why sometimes she very much wants you to be there and other times it's "I would like some alone time" Seems to be about 50/50. What goes into her or your decision making process? Thank you.
 
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