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Jealousy, insecurities, cuckold? I am new!

  • Thread starterjubee
  • Start date
..

My larger concern is that he is most definitely NOT a cuckold and he is posting and getting advice on a cuckold's forum.

At least "cuckold" in a modern day sense that is used on this board.

This is breaking down in to an Oprah episode. We need somebody to snap their fingers three times and yell out, "You go girl".

..
 
This is breaking down in to an Oprah episode. We need somebody to snap their fingers three times and yell out, "You go girl".
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Hey, there's a nice professional response from a professional (a psychologist, I believe). Hope you have a better bedside manner with your patients.

Mac talks about the key issue here, their youth. Young people make these kinds of mistakes (cheating, looking at someone else) a lot. All part of maturing and becoming true adults. Does anyone here think this girl's action are uncommon for someone around 20?

Truthfully, Id love her to get back with me
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Then go for it. You're young and, from the way you write, must have real feelings for the girl. The cuckold thing, well, it doesn't necessarily jive with your feelings. Ask yourself a question, what is more important "being in a relationship with this girl or being cucked by her." The cuckold thing, if you are as insecure as you say (and it causes you so much pain) well, if I were you, I'd try to forget it or at least keep it as a fantasy only in your mind. It is not something to play around with in real life if you can't deal with the consequences.
 
So be it. Thanks. Good night.
 
Well I will clear a FEW things up...

Ive been posting on NUMEROUS forums- however not a single forums seems to fit my exact scenario- mainly because it deals with heartbreak and this sexual fantasy intertwined in one. Then add insecurities into the mix and you have a strange creature, known as myself.

From the outside- i am a normal healthy human. I am fit, in shape, work hard in school, have a bright future in front of me. Reality is, I am a happy person when 1) I am not tied down to any girl, or 2) I am in love with someone. I hate being in the middle...

Why did I post here on cuckold? Well I believe the psychology behind it is very interesting. If you read my original post- i clearly state what my issue is... I don't feel like my relationship is very "typical."

If my relationship with my girl was steady and passionate as ever, then I feel like i'd do the cuckold thing as you guys describe. I may be uneasy about it at first, but I am sure I'd be okay with it over time...

You guys keep mentioning age- and i respect your opinions as you guys have more experience than I do (I assume). I am 25- and she is 19. My question is- based on what you guys say about being young, is it impossible to make it work with younger girls? aka between 18-25? By the way you guys talk about it, it seems that its impossible to make a relationship work past the "honey moon" phase of a relationship with this age group. I'd hope "some girls" out there could prove this theory wrong.

A side note- My girl and I got together this weekend (as I stated) and things were amazing- truley amazing. We made out, had sex, did dates, had some serious talks, and talked about how we felt. Again, in person, we are an amazing couple- its when we dont see eachother things get weird. I just dont know whether to believe her when she says "I am sorry, I know I hurt you. I was just so hurt that I did those things to you (made out with another guy). I want to make things work between us cus I miss how we used to be. I love you so much." She stated that- crying and all. I dont wanna be the fool to believe her words only to get burned by her again- or should I just trust her words?

If I do trust her words- how do i manage to keep this relationship good? Do I act more distant? Give her space? Make her realize that I am not going to be at her every beck and call? Or do I go back to being so in love with her and putting her on a pedastal?

I guess thats a lot of questions from me. Sorry for the long post- i just have so much on my mind- I just dont wanna be hurt again- and i WANT to trust her words about being sorry- i just dont know if I am able to.
 
Until you have a real sexual relation with her how will you know?

Doc with all respect;
I'm thinking Jerry springer is more prone to take this one.

Hank
 
I can totally relate to the angst. I still fight with it even though I have actively tried to embrace my fantasies. I have also worked hard at moderating my anger and jealous; mainly by trolling these forums and reading about other peoples experiences. Yet, I have learned over the years, that the more intense those feelings of fear, jealousy, even humiliation, the greater my arousal. But, that is up to a point, my wife has definitely fucked me over a couple of times, getting a little carried away with the lifestyle. And there is certainly a point where those feelings extinguish all feelings of arousal and produce only blind rage.

Fortunately, I met a woman I fell in love with who has been willing to experiment and help me learn how enjoy this lifestyle, she has pushed me over the edge numerous times, but she has always come back in love. And I have learned to trust her, somewhat like a roller coaster, I get nervous every time, but we are still together and still in love.

In response to some of your other comments, I'd really try to figure out if you have serious feelings for this girl. My only rule of thumb is that if you are going to have any sort of truly meaningful relationship, then there must be trust.

Good luck...
 
Jubee, can you share her with another? If yes it could work, If not well find someone else! Once a woman, or man for that matter strays, he/she will do it again.
 
jubee said:
Well I will clear a FEW things up...

Ive been posting on NUMEROUS forums- however not a single forums seems to fit my exact scenario- mainly because it deals with heartbreak and this sexual fantasy intertwined in one. Then add insecurities into the mix and you have a strange creature, known as myself.

From the outside- i am a normal healthy human. I am fit, in shape, work hard in school, have a bright future in front of me. Reality is, I am a happy person when 1) I am not tied down to any girl, or 2) I am in love with someone. I hate being in the middle...

Why did I post here on cuckold? Well I believe the psychology behind it is very interesting. If you read my original post- i clearly state what my issue is... I don't feel like my relationship is very "typical."

If my relationship with my girl was steady and passionate as ever, then I feel like i'd do the cuckold thing as you guys describe. I may be uneasy about it at first, but I am sure I'd be okay with it over time...

You guys keep mentioning age- and i respect your opinions as you guys have more experience than I do (I assume). I am 25- and she is 19. My question is- based on what you guys say about being young, is it impossible to make it work with younger girls? aka between 18-25? By the way you guys talk about it, it seems that its impossible to make a relationship work past the "honey moon" phase of a relationship with this age group. I'd hope "some girls" out there could prove this theory wrong.

A side note- My girl and I got together this weekend (as I stated) and things were amazing- truley amazing. We made out, had sex, did dates, had some serious talks, and talked about how we felt. Again, in person, we are an amazing couple- its when we dont see eachother things get weird. I just dont know whether to believe her when she says "I am sorry, I know I hurt you. I was just so hurt that I did those things to you (made out with another guy). I want to make things work between us cus I miss how we used to be. I love you so much." She stated that- crying and all. I dont wanna be the fool to believe her words only to get burned by her again- or should I just trust her words?

If I do trust her words- how do i manage to keep this relationship good? Do I act more distant? Give her space? Make her realize that I am not going to be at her every beck and call? Or do I go back to being so in love with her and putting her on a pedastal?

I guess thats a lot of questions from me. Sorry for the long post- i just have so much on my mind- I just dont wanna be hurt again- and i WANT to trust her words about being sorry- i just dont know if I am able to.
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No one here can give you any answers with any real authority. None of us know her or you. We only know ourselves. But from what I'm hearing it sounds like she's sincere. You've heard the saying, "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Well...this would be the once from where I'm sitting. If she strays again then you'll know. It will be clear she wants to be with other guys and you can introduce her ass to Mr. Curb. :D

Don't assume she's cheated/is cheating. Not at this juncture. Cut her some slack for the fact that she's 19. But again. This is her one chance. You should also demand that she cut off contact with this coworker to the furthest extent possible...business only. No seeing each other outside of work and you'd prefer they speak at work only about things related to the job and if she can't/won't adhere to that then yes, leave that girl alone and move on.
 
she poured her heart out to me, begging me to take her back. saying she fucked up and is deeply hurt she cant take it back... ill take her word for it giving her one more chance...
as for the other guy, she was hangin out with him when they were working in the summer, now shes up at school so she doesnt see him anyway. they just text each other... she did show me one of her texts with him. she told him she wanted to get back together with me, and he responded, "i should have known better, you were closer to him anyways :("
 
I hear what you are saying- and I broke up with her 2 nights ago, and she text'ed me this at 4:30 AM. (This is AMONG MANY TEXTS)
please analyze this: Does she genuinely want another chance then?

"Baby boy- I accidentally fell asleep. Come lay with me?! :) I love you J. I understand what you meant about sex based off of yesterday, it was perfect!!"

Next text "I feel so pathetic waiting for your response early in the morning, but I am still hoping it'd come. J, I am so sorry. I never intended for it to get sooooo bad between us. :/ I wanted us to re-love each other again. I wanted you to forgive me so I could start forgiving myself.:("

Next text "I just wanted one more chance with you to make it all right. Just you and me. to show you I messed up. I don't know what I was doing J but I was being selfish and a fool. I should have been running back to you sooner but I felt ashamed and now we are done and I cant ever go back :'("

Next text "J I just want you back! Id do anything if you let me. I realize that I disobeyed your trust. But I was foolish. I lost touch with myself this summer. I needed to not feel used. Like- I needed a boy to tell me sex isn't all that matters. Stupid, I know!:/ I just felt soooo close to you this weekend (I hung out with her this weekend as stated earlier) Its sad to watch it all go. I was driven by it. I should have come back to you. Like a child, I should of gone home, ya know. I'm sorry I am pleading with you. But I don't like being the person that hurt you or took you for granted. I just want us back- when it was good. :/ I don't need to think about it. Just give us an honest shot J, NO reservations. I promise you'd love it"

I didn't respond between those texts at all. I woke up to those texts. Call me a fool, but I find those texts very genuine. Sure you guys don't really know her, but is she REALLY being fake with me? Again shes admitting fault with this other guy few weeks ago, and wants to change things back. IDK- but i feel caught in the middle.
 
archibaldcovington said:
I think she's just saying what you want to hear.
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Not to make excuses then, but what does a girl need to say to be genuine? Is there such thing as a second chance? is there such thing as being able to fix things? or is it the whole "once a cheater always a cheater, just move on."

Im just trying to rationalize from both sides. I hear one side- break up with her, but i guess i am just curious more than anything as to how this would even be possible in any other situation. Its as if once this happens, nothing can ever fix it.
 
Only actions can prove that she is gennuine and you won't know unless you try.

If you're into her then give it another shot BUT....if she hurts you again then walk, nae run, away.

Good luck!
 
She wants you back so she can feel better about what she did. She said it her self. It's not what she can do to show you she's sorry. It's about you take g her back so she feels better. Dude grow a spine!! And sack up. Either you are going to be walked on by her for the rest of your relationship and have no rigt to complain cause you let her treat you like this. Or you take control. Don't do it. There are other people out there.
Maybe she's genuine but her txt say it about her feelings not yours.
Just my take on it.

-hank
 
she should put you in chastity and not let you cum for a long time. then she can have her fun and you'll be so turned on.
 
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