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Yes, you can continue to pepper me with my thoughts that I shared in the past - and yes, even reading them it does get my level of concern raised up.
What I guess I feel is that we've now talked and talked and talked about a lot of this and while I do still have concerns over what happens when it becomes 2 nights instead of one - at the same time I also recognize and can now see her increasing desire and perhaps even a need to see this through and to give her the time she wants to experience this.
Look, would it be my choice to give up intercourse of all types with her - not for an indefinite period - but at the same time when you love someone and they can continue to articulate what they want and why they want it and why it's not something they feel should represent a threat to us - then how do you say no to that. I love her - we've been together now over 30 years.
and she could have said the same thing to me 10 years ago - back then the roles were reversed and I so wanted to see and know she'd been with another man. She resisted for a long time before I kept at it and perhaps out of her own curiosity or perhaps out of her sense of wanting to please her husband, she finally relented. Granted it's different, but at the same time it's similar only this time it's reversed - but I suppose in the sense of how much of a change/shock it is, this is far less of one than what she did just over 9 years ago in reverse.
I've been PMing with others here and I think what I've come to realize is that what some have said to me privately is true. If I trust her and love her and if we're this far into all of this and it's still good between us (and it is) - then going this much further is actually a fairly small step towards which we have already taken baby steps towards.
As I started to say above and I am not sure that this would have been my choice of endpoint for our sexual exploration. I do know that some level of denial feels right to me - I have come to the point now where I don't mind openly admitting to her, here or I suppose even Paul, that I genuinely am turned on intensely that I no longer get to cum in her. For those who can't understand how that can be a turn on, then I can surely see how anything further must be a totally foreign thought. But for me, giving that up with her and learning to enjoy knowing I don't get to feel or enjoy her that way has been incredible for me in ways I cannot describe but that leave me incredibly fulfilled. I may not have said it because a part of me feels it is just well known already - but seeing her holding a condom full of my cum and seeing how it turns her on is just an amazing feeling - but for me - I can't fully explain it but seeing it and knowing yet another load of my cum didn't get to be inside her - and at the same time knowing she lets Paul enjoy that - even now just sitting here typing this has my cock hard and a huge wet-spot on my boxers from how horny I am about it. I've said it before - I love that Paul knows her as intimately as he does perhaps even more-so than I do in terms of how he can relate to her on a almost completely sexual nature. And I love that so many other guys have enjoyed her that way. I can't say why it makes me feel fulfilled to not cum in her but it does - incredibly so.
So, while I wouldn't have said I wanted this - now that it is upon me as something that seems to be a sure thing - it has made me think a lot about it. So while it isn't something I would have necessarily said I wanted, now that it's upon me - I can either resist it and try to deflect everything and keep status-quo - or I can let go of the reins and let her see where she leads us to.
Am I ready to see them frolicking in our house as I know they do at his place? Am I ready to give up 2 nights in a row in my own room so she can enjoy her second night with him? No- they're not something I can ever be really ready for just as no matter what - until we hit Labor Day weekend and she begins enforcing things, it's not something I can be ready for. But knowing what she wants and how she's explained it and her continued focus and inclusion of me in whatever way - has me saying "okay - lets make the best of it".
I will admit I want to see this happen - it will be amazingly intense and angst ridden to see her giving herself to him - but I cannot deny that it is going to be exciting and erotic - and while I know I'll be masturbating for a while, perhaps even longer than a while - at the same time I know she's going to make sure that jerking-off is good for me - and that knowing we WILL have some reconnection times - as I said before - after 30+ years of love and trust - how, or more importantly, if I'm somewhat okay with it, why would I say no?
She threw back at me something I'd said to her when we first started things out. It was about regret - I used the line on her that when we're older it's better regret trying something and not liking it than not trying it and regretting missing the potential for the rest of our lives. When I used it on her it was because she'd admitted some interest in other guys. Now she is using it on me when I admit that I have some interest in seeing this denial thing to a further degree.
I'm not sure if this helped or hurt my explanation of things but it's how I feel and it's how I am sort of rationalizing my thoughts.
What I guess I feel is that we've now talked and talked and talked about a lot of this and while I do still have concerns over what happens when it becomes 2 nights instead of one - at the same time I also recognize and can now see her increasing desire and perhaps even a need to see this through and to give her the time she wants to experience this.
Look, would it be my choice to give up intercourse of all types with her - not for an indefinite period - but at the same time when you love someone and they can continue to articulate what they want and why they want it and why it's not something they feel should represent a threat to us - then how do you say no to that. I love her - we've been together now over 30 years.
and she could have said the same thing to me 10 years ago - back then the roles were reversed and I so wanted to see and know she'd been with another man. She resisted for a long time before I kept at it and perhaps out of her own curiosity or perhaps out of her sense of wanting to please her husband, she finally relented. Granted it's different, but at the same time it's similar only this time it's reversed - but I suppose in the sense of how much of a change/shock it is, this is far less of one than what she did just over 9 years ago in reverse.
I've been PMing with others here and I think what I've come to realize is that what some have said to me privately is true. If I trust her and love her and if we're this far into all of this and it's still good between us (and it is) - then going this much further is actually a fairly small step towards which we have already taken baby steps towards.
As I started to say above and I am not sure that this would have been my choice of endpoint for our sexual exploration. I do know that some level of denial feels right to me - I have come to the point now where I don't mind openly admitting to her, here or I suppose even Paul, that I genuinely am turned on intensely that I no longer get to cum in her. For those who can't understand how that can be a turn on, then I can surely see how anything further must be a totally foreign thought. But for me, giving that up with her and learning to enjoy knowing I don't get to feel or enjoy her that way has been incredible for me in ways I cannot describe but that leave me incredibly fulfilled. I may not have said it because a part of me feels it is just well known already - but seeing her holding a condom full of my cum and seeing how it turns her on is just an amazing feeling - but for me - I can't fully explain it but seeing it and knowing yet another load of my cum didn't get to be inside her - and at the same time knowing she lets Paul enjoy that - even now just sitting here typing this has my cock hard and a huge wet-spot on my boxers from how horny I am about it. I've said it before - I love that Paul knows her as intimately as he does perhaps even more-so than I do in terms of how he can relate to her on a almost completely sexual nature. And I love that so many other guys have enjoyed her that way. I can't say why it makes me feel fulfilled to not cum in her but it does - incredibly so.
So, while I wouldn't have said I wanted this - now that it is upon me as something that seems to be a sure thing - it has made me think a lot about it. So while it isn't something I would have necessarily said I wanted, now that it's upon me - I can either resist it and try to deflect everything and keep status-quo - or I can let go of the reins and let her see where she leads us to.
Am I ready to see them frolicking in our house as I know they do at his place? Am I ready to give up 2 nights in a row in my own room so she can enjoy her second night with him? No- they're not something I can ever be really ready for just as no matter what - until we hit Labor Day weekend and she begins enforcing things, it's not something I can be ready for. But knowing what she wants and how she's explained it and her continued focus and inclusion of me in whatever way - has me saying "okay - lets make the best of it".
I will admit I want to see this happen - it will be amazingly intense and angst ridden to see her giving herself to him - but I cannot deny that it is going to be exciting and erotic - and while I know I'll be masturbating for a while, perhaps even longer than a while - at the same time I know she's going to make sure that jerking-off is good for me - and that knowing we WILL have some reconnection times - as I said before - after 30+ years of love and trust - how, or more importantly, if I'm somewhat okay with it, why would I say no?
She threw back at me something I'd said to her when we first started things out. It was about regret - I used the line on her that when we're older it's better regret trying something and not liking it than not trying it and regretting missing the potential for the rest of our lives. When I used it on her it was because she'd admitted some interest in other guys. Now she is using it on me when I admit that I have some interest in seeing this denial thing to a further degree.
I'm not sure if this helped or hurt my explanation of things but it's how I feel and it's how I am sort of rationalizing my thoughts.
Steve, it's your life. Live it the way it makes you happy!
Make a promise to keep us informed in your well written way. (Looks you'll have plenty of time after Labors Day). Love reading it from A to Z.
B.t.w. To all members: Reading this thread makes me understanding english a lot more, even the "dirty" words. I.e. I've learned what ROFL means (Rolling On the Floor, Laughing), I've learned when Labors Day is in the US (the first Monday in September, 9.5.2016). I'ts the same as May 1. in most countries in Europe. (Thanks to you all and "mr. Google").
Make a promise to keep us informed in your well written way. (Looks you'll have plenty of time after Labors Day). Love reading it from A to Z.
B.t.w. To all members: Reading this thread makes me understanding english a lot more, even the "dirty" words. I.e. I've learned what ROFL means (Rolling On the Floor, Laughing), I've learned when Labors Day is in the US (the first Monday in September, 9.5.2016). I'ts the same as May 1. in most countries in Europe. (Thanks to you all and "mr. Google").
Steve,
One thing about all of this is that you are NOT being denied.
Oh, sure you are / will be missing out on bare penetrative sex with Sue for a period, but you are still having much more sexual contact with your wife than many husbands of your age and time together.
Furthermore, as you say, that contact does leave you "incredibly fulfilled".
So, just go for it, enjoy it and keep us all updated.
One thing about all of this is that you are NOT being denied.
Oh, sure you are / will be missing out on bare penetrative sex with Sue for a period, but you are still having much more sexual contact with your wife than many husbands of your age and time together.
Furthermore, as you say, that contact does leave you "incredibly fulfilled".
So, just go for it, enjoy it and keep us all updated.
Steve,
I've seen the writing on the wall for some time now. It's clear you're going to go ahead with all of Sue's plan and will only kick back when the pain gets too much. If at all. Any analysis of your posts even quite recently does show up big discontinuities between what you said you would not accept and now and similar between what Sue promised and wanted and what she intends now. Rather than dwell on any particular instance I'm willing to suspend judgement for two reasons. Firstly, the Alpha side is new to Sue, knowing exactly what she wanted to do, how and when would have been next to impossible a year ago and she is still crystallising her desires. It's acceptable therefore that she changes her direction slightly but less so as you go forward. Secondly for you the converse is true. In the past you viewed acceptability far more as what was ok with you. Now you are beginning to accept the future as what is instead imposed by Sue and to trust that she will look after and respond to your needs, but maybe not your wants. Your joint future is therefore different to how either of you saw it and may continue to be so.
Finally, it has become more difficult for us to see it as we are getting it through the filter of your eyes. When you were in charge that was easy, now we are seeing Sue's control indirectly and after the event. At best it's like being a company sergeant trying to understand the opposing general through the actions and messages of his own. Sort of.
I've seen the writing on the wall for some time now. It's clear you're going to go ahead with all of Sue's plan and will only kick back when the pain gets too much. If at all. Any analysis of your posts even quite recently does show up big discontinuities between what you said you would not accept and now and similar between what Sue promised and wanted and what she intends now. Rather than dwell on any particular instance I'm willing to suspend judgement for two reasons. Firstly, the Alpha side is new to Sue, knowing exactly what she wanted to do, how and when would have been next to impossible a year ago and she is still crystallising her desires. It's acceptable therefore that she changes her direction slightly but less so as you go forward. Secondly for you the converse is true. In the past you viewed acceptability far more as what was ok with you. Now you are beginning to accept the future as what is instead imposed by Sue and to trust that she will look after and respond to your needs, but maybe not your wants. Your joint future is therefore different to how either of you saw it and may continue to be so.
Finally, it has become more difficult for us to see it as we are getting it through the filter of your eyes. When you were in charge that was easy, now we are seeing Sue's control indirectly and after the event. At best it's like being a company sergeant trying to understand the opposing general through the actions and messages of his own. Sort of.
STB, thanks for such an open reply. Hope you and Sue make it through this together. Frankly, I am not going to cheer you this path because IMHO it's fraught with danger. But I still hope that in quest for her desire , Sue doesn't pushes away what you have built over in 30 + years.
And, it's going to be three nights with two in a row.....as Sue promises you.
And, it's going to be three nights with two in a row.....as Sue promises you.
Raks - your last post required my responding. If it were truly beyond my comfort zone, then I would surely speak up.
Peak - I am going to say that I too know there is a big difference between how I am now and how I was "a while back". I am going to say confidently that it is because I want to embrace and enjoy the beta-role now. I know and still feel many of my former "alpha urges" regarding still wanting sex and intimacy with her but at the same time, they are far outnumbered by the crazy type of satisfaction and fulfillment I seem to feel in the beta-role.
Peak - I am going to say that I too know there is a big difference between how I am now and how I was "a while back". I am going to say confidently that it is because I want to embrace and enjoy the beta-role now. I know and still feel many of my former "alpha urges" regarding still wanting sex and intimacy with her but at the same time, they are far outnumbered by the crazy type of satisfaction and fulfillment I seem to feel in the beta-role.
This is what I fail to understand STB. In just one post earlier you say that you'd never be comfortable with some of the things she proposed and yet you say it's not beyond your comfort zone and you say you will speak up if they would have been. If it is really so, then please say that you really want to see them frolicking around and you want them to spend night in your own room. Please accept that you want this instead of pushing the responsibility on Sue.
at least she isn't controlling your orgasms. In fact, it sounds like she will be encouraging you to jerk off more so that you are flaccid from time to time. I'm sure it will be challenging not to want to slide it into her, but you will establish your new form of intimacy with her and in a short amount of time you won't put so much value in putting your cock in her. It will be fine as long as you still have Sue and Steve time.
Raks,
A blind man with a stick can see what's coming before Christmas. Sue is going to play Lucy to Steve's Charlie Brown yet again. The ball will be placed, Steve will punt at it, the ball will vanish and Steve will end on his ass. Or Sue will promise emotional support, Steve will need emotional support and it will vanish in the fog of lust that will consume Sue again. Charlie Brown always believes that this time, he will get to punt the ball. We will all watch because we know, deep down, he won't. Relax and enjoy the moment.
A blind man with a stick can see what's coming before Christmas. Sue is going to play Lucy to Steve's Charlie Brown yet again. The ball will be placed, Steve will punt at it, the ball will vanish and Steve will end on his ass. Or Sue will promise emotional support, Steve will need emotional support and it will vanish in the fog of lust that will consume Sue again. Charlie Brown always believes that this time, he will get to punt the ball. We will all watch because we know, deep down, he won't. Relax and enjoy the moment.
And yet charlie brown keeps coming back for more. It's the edge that is exciting. Yes, that makes it dangerous, but you don't know you've gone over or that it's cut too deep until it has. While things may have initially started out with Steve leading way back when, for quite a while now the dynamic has flipped and Sue is leading Steve. I don't think that portends disaster. I think they still care deeply about each other while playing with things that by their very nature (denial, restriction, increased time with her lovers) could threaten their relationship or certainly are outside the norms of conventional marriage.
It gets kind of tiresome to read the same cautions over and over and the constant back and forth trying to tell Steve what he should be doing and who is more right. Raising a flag, sure that's fine. But the repeated stuff gets old.
It gets kind of tiresome to read the same cautions over and over and the constant back and forth trying to tell Steve what he should be doing and who is more right. Raising a flag, sure that's fine. But the repeated stuff gets old.
She's out visiting her parents which I'm sure will consume her for the rest of the day.
I have come to learn that Paul is away this weekend and she has already told me that we'll have our fun time tomorrow night and she said that she'd "promised" me that we'd be enjoying ourselves up till Labor Day weekend. I feel a rising anxiety about it but as everyone here has already now concluded, I'm not going to stand in her way.
She's promised that we'll talk a lot after things get started between them and she has also said that we are still going to have sex at times, I know that it's likely going to be possibly 2 months or so before we return to that. I am looking at it right now as more of what we've done before, I know that I've/we've gone almost 2 months in the past without sex between us so I know that even with that limited frequency, that it's something I can tolerate while she enjoys what she is hoping to enjoy.
As danwcap says though - sorry Peak and Raks - it really is kind of tiring hearing the same things over and over. I'm not going to apologize for how even I feel I've changed over the past few years but I know I have. I know that years back, I felt an intense need to reclaim her and have sex with her after she'd been with her lover - whether it was that day, the next day or just within a few days afterwards - I know I felt that and I know that I felt that at times it was a competition and I always felt like I needed to try to one-up her lover and bring her to that trembling orgasm beneath me.
What I didn't realize until I started and now more fully embrace my beta wishes (Yes - Wishes) is that by my doing so with her, that I denied her some of what she now says she wants to feel - that she is intimate with her lover, with Paul, and that she doesn't have to want or have sex with me at all afterwards if she doesn't want to.
I will say without a doubt that I truly no longer feel the urge or need to "reclaim her" as I did in the past. I think when I came to that realization I was able to relax about everything and not feel threatened or not nearly as anxious as I used to feel about her deeper involvement with Paul and yes, his replacing me sexually.
As I've long said, I don't post everything here - I don't post about our midnight swim last night where with our daughter out and it being a dark night that we skinny-dipped for a while and made out in the corner of the pool. We cuddled in the warm water and looked up at the moon through the mostly cloudy skies and we floated together against each other against the edge of the pool. Her breasts felt wonderful in my hands and I know even in the water she felt my hardon behind her. But the crazy part is that I loved the arousal so much even though I knew we weren't going to have sex and I wasn't going to jerk-off - it felt amazing to let myself grow horny for her and thinking about her and know that she wasn't going to relieve it like she would have just a few years ago. I love knowing how she doesn't feel that need or obligation to me. I can't explain it but its one of those things that almost seems primal to me now that I really love the arousal with her.
Before ending this post I also want to make things clear elsewhere too. It is profound to me that I am truly feeling this way and I am not sure that people like Raks or Peak can appreciate how this feels to be - to feel aroused at the person and not just the sex. And to know that to fulfill that arousal and make me feel satisfied, even I admit that it's scary but also very relieving to say that it turns me on to think that way. I haven't gone back and counted but I am sure it is in the low single-digits for the number of times that I've cum inside my wife since New Years Eve 2014. And what I find most profound is that unless my feelings and arousal and satisfaction changes, that I am finding myself increasingly comfortable and perhaps even wanting to prolong this indefinitely - and yes for everyone here - it turns me on amazingly to think that I may possibly never cum in her or any other woman again, ever.
That thought would have been incredibly scary and horrifying just a few years ago, and now, the thought of her only having her lovers cum in her in the foreseeable future is now incredibly arousing to me. I cannot explain how it feels other than to say it just feels right to me that I no longer share this with her - it is what I want as a beta - it is what seems to fulfill me in ways that I think I may have always been seeking in the past. It just feels so right to me when I'll use another condom with her tomorrow night.
And that's perhaps what both scares me most as well as what arouses me the most at the same time. That I know what was once a horrifying thought and a huge turn-off - has now become something that leaves me feeling incredibly fulfilled. It scares me and arouses me that I may feel the same about abstaining from her over time. Even now as I shared with her and here - I admitted that at times I would sometimes rather jerk-off than cum in her (well, not with just a few more weekends left) - I know that after giving her to Paul, that at least at the beginning - it is going to feel amazing to me to masturbate and cum while knowing I will no longer get to feel her. It turns me on incredibly because I know how it is going to feel to know that she may lie beneath me but that I am no longer allowed to penetrate her. What scares me is if this becomes as the condom-play and it becomes something we do not return from. I suppose if it does go in that direction, that as everything has been so far, that if it's gone in that direction, then it's likely been a willing movement.
So while I may express regret, reluctance, anxiety and angst about what we are doing - I believe I can honestly say that it is something I think we will have to do, or rather something that she has and needs to do.
It is actually kind of interesting to listen to her at times when she can explain how she feels and how she wants to feel. It's not something I can satisfy for her - even if I returned right now to the alpha role - I do understand her, she's always been the type when she knows what she wants, that she usually can't be talked out of it. And I know it hasn't been easy for her to tell me she wants to feel sexually fulfilled by Paul - just as it wasn't easy for me to come out to her about my beta desires - but now that we have both of those out in the open - right now I think we are both going through a lot of "understanding". She professes to now understand how significant this is as a man to somewhat voluntarily give up intercourse with his wife - I do believe that. I think she understands how physical an act it is for a man. And for me, I will somewhat reluctantly admit that I do know how she feels wanting this incredible sexual fulfillment and to feel like she is exploring something new and exciting for herself.
But then again, I would not want or consider moving ahead with all of this if we didn't feel this way.
And then, yes, there are still times when I think about it and I say "am I crazy, has she really talked me into this". But those moments are fewer and further between now.
I have come to learn that Paul is away this weekend and she has already told me that we'll have our fun time tomorrow night and she said that she'd "promised" me that we'd be enjoying ourselves up till Labor Day weekend. I feel a rising anxiety about it but as everyone here has already now concluded, I'm not going to stand in her way.
She's promised that we'll talk a lot after things get started between them and she has also said that we are still going to have sex at times, I know that it's likely going to be possibly 2 months or so before we return to that. I am looking at it right now as more of what we've done before, I know that I've/we've gone almost 2 months in the past without sex between us so I know that even with that limited frequency, that it's something I can tolerate while she enjoys what she is hoping to enjoy.
As danwcap says though - sorry Peak and Raks - it really is kind of tiring hearing the same things over and over. I'm not going to apologize for how even I feel I've changed over the past few years but I know I have. I know that years back, I felt an intense need to reclaim her and have sex with her after she'd been with her lover - whether it was that day, the next day or just within a few days afterwards - I know I felt that and I know that I felt that at times it was a competition and I always felt like I needed to try to one-up her lover and bring her to that trembling orgasm beneath me.
What I didn't realize until I started and now more fully embrace my beta wishes (Yes - Wishes) is that by my doing so with her, that I denied her some of what she now says she wants to feel - that she is intimate with her lover, with Paul, and that she doesn't have to want or have sex with me at all afterwards if she doesn't want to.
I will say without a doubt that I truly no longer feel the urge or need to "reclaim her" as I did in the past. I think when I came to that realization I was able to relax about everything and not feel threatened or not nearly as anxious as I used to feel about her deeper involvement with Paul and yes, his replacing me sexually.
As I've long said, I don't post everything here - I don't post about our midnight swim last night where with our daughter out and it being a dark night that we skinny-dipped for a while and made out in the corner of the pool. We cuddled in the warm water and looked up at the moon through the mostly cloudy skies and we floated together against each other against the edge of the pool. Her breasts felt wonderful in my hands and I know even in the water she felt my hardon behind her. But the crazy part is that I loved the arousal so much even though I knew we weren't going to have sex and I wasn't going to jerk-off - it felt amazing to let myself grow horny for her and thinking about her and know that she wasn't going to relieve it like she would have just a few years ago. I love knowing how she doesn't feel that need or obligation to me. I can't explain it but its one of those things that almost seems primal to me now that I really love the arousal with her.
Before ending this post I also want to make things clear elsewhere too. It is profound to me that I am truly feeling this way and I am not sure that people like Raks or Peak can appreciate how this feels to be - to feel aroused at the person and not just the sex. And to know that to fulfill that arousal and make me feel satisfied, even I admit that it's scary but also very relieving to say that it turns me on to think that way. I haven't gone back and counted but I am sure it is in the low single-digits for the number of times that I've cum inside my wife since New Years Eve 2014. And what I find most profound is that unless my feelings and arousal and satisfaction changes, that I am finding myself increasingly comfortable and perhaps even wanting to prolong this indefinitely - and yes for everyone here - it turns me on amazingly to think that I may possibly never cum in her or any other woman again, ever.
That thought would have been incredibly scary and horrifying just a few years ago, and now, the thought of her only having her lovers cum in her in the foreseeable future is now incredibly arousing to me. I cannot explain how it feels other than to say it just feels right to me that I no longer share this with her - it is what I want as a beta - it is what seems to fulfill me in ways that I think I may have always been seeking in the past. It just feels so right to me when I'll use another condom with her tomorrow night.
And that's perhaps what both scares me most as well as what arouses me the most at the same time. That I know what was once a horrifying thought and a huge turn-off - has now become something that leaves me feeling incredibly fulfilled. It scares me and arouses me that I may feel the same about abstaining from her over time. Even now as I shared with her and here - I admitted that at times I would sometimes rather jerk-off than cum in her (well, not with just a few more weekends left) - I know that after giving her to Paul, that at least at the beginning - it is going to feel amazing to me to masturbate and cum while knowing I will no longer get to feel her. It turns me on incredibly because I know how it is going to feel to know that she may lie beneath me but that I am no longer allowed to penetrate her. What scares me is if this becomes as the condom-play and it becomes something we do not return from. I suppose if it does go in that direction, that as everything has been so far, that if it's gone in that direction, then it's likely been a willing movement.
So while I may express regret, reluctance, anxiety and angst about what we are doing - I believe I can honestly say that it is something I think we will have to do, or rather something that she has and needs to do.
It is actually kind of interesting to listen to her at times when she can explain how she feels and how she wants to feel. It's not something I can satisfy for her - even if I returned right now to the alpha role - I do understand her, she's always been the type when she knows what she wants, that she usually can't be talked out of it. And I know it hasn't been easy for her to tell me she wants to feel sexually fulfilled by Paul - just as it wasn't easy for me to come out to her about my beta desires - but now that we have both of those out in the open - right now I think we are both going through a lot of "understanding". She professes to now understand how significant this is as a man to somewhat voluntarily give up intercourse with his wife - I do believe that. I think she understands how physical an act it is for a man. And for me, I will somewhat reluctantly admit that I do know how she feels wanting this incredible sexual fulfillment and to feel like she is exploring something new and exciting for herself.
But then again, I would not want or consider moving ahead with all of this if we didn't feel this way.
And then, yes, there are still times when I think about it and I say "am I crazy, has she really talked me into this". But those moments are fewer and further between now.
Good grief. For Danwcap and others and maybe even you Steve, I too get fed up of being misquoted and abused. At no time recently have I ever said anything negative about the sex you are about to forego. I understand just how much it excites you and how much you really want to experience this. You wanted it in February too, and enjoyed it. Sue has started something similar several times and you have by and large always been excited by the anticipation and the experience.
My comment above, with some humour I might add, was all about EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Not sex. It has been the downfall so far of every one of Sue's attempts to take you deeper into this and although she is saying the right things now, she said them before and screwed it up then too. So let's let no one get on their high horse here. Let's maybe just watch and see how it pans out.
My comment above, with some humour I might add, was all about EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Not sex. It has been the downfall so far of every one of Sue's attempts to take you deeper into this and although she is saying the right things now, she said them before and screwed it up then too. So let's let no one get on their high horse here. Let's maybe just watch and see how it pans out.
Dear Steve,
I have been reading your postings on and off for many months and want to praise both your writing and thoughtful approach to describing your life and relationship with your wife. I confess I am terribly envious of Sue. With two very skilled sexual partners devoted to pleasing her, both sexually and emotionally, she would be crazy to give that up--or would she? And that is really the question that has intrigued me and prompted me to write you... plus this rather strange turn in her relationship with Paul.
First, I freely admit, I am not really the best person to comment on cuckold lifestyle since it has never really appealed to me. There are many aspects of your relationship which I can see affect you deeply, but sometimes they puzzle me, and I probably do not appreciate the sexual tension created that you enjoy. However, I do think I can talk to some of Sue’s desires.
In your posting last week, you said, “she has it in her head that she wants to feel this kind of sexual intensity again with "someone new" (other than me) before she gets too old (in her mind) - but she also said she needs to feel it to reinforce how she feels about herself sexually and as a woman - that she wants (needs) the re-validation of her sexuality and desire by other men”. I completely empathize! Basically, all women want to be objects of desire, and we want skilled and powerful lovers, we want security, and we want to control our relationships---and we rarely get what we want, after all, life is really a compromise.
So here is my question, why is Sue interested in giving this up for Paul? I am surprised that neither you or Sue have approached the subject of her taking on another lover or two. I almost screamed at you about this a few months ago when it appeared you were resigning yourself to having her fall in love with Paul or make Paul her primary partner--I really do not know which it is. I would have thought that Sue, once having established that you were here willing partner in exploring her sexuality, would want to do more exploring, maybe a lot more exploring! She is so right, the sexual intensity of a new lover can be exhilarating, so why settle down?
Sorry for interjecting myself into your discussion but this has been bugging me for months and thought I would ask.
With affection and best wishes for you and Sue,
Sandy
I have been reading your postings on and off for many months and want to praise both your writing and thoughtful approach to describing your life and relationship with your wife. I confess I am terribly envious of Sue. With two very skilled sexual partners devoted to pleasing her, both sexually and emotionally, she would be crazy to give that up--or would she? And that is really the question that has intrigued me and prompted me to write you... plus this rather strange turn in her relationship with Paul.
First, I freely admit, I am not really the best person to comment on cuckold lifestyle since it has never really appealed to me. There are many aspects of your relationship which I can see affect you deeply, but sometimes they puzzle me, and I probably do not appreciate the sexual tension created that you enjoy. However, I do think I can talk to some of Sue’s desires.
In your posting last week, you said, “she has it in her head that she wants to feel this kind of sexual intensity again with "someone new" (other than me) before she gets too old (in her mind) - but she also said she needs to feel it to reinforce how she feels about herself sexually and as a woman - that she wants (needs) the re-validation of her sexuality and desire by other men”. I completely empathize! Basically, all women want to be objects of desire, and we want skilled and powerful lovers, we want security, and we want to control our relationships---and we rarely get what we want, after all, life is really a compromise.
So here is my question, why is Sue interested in giving this up for Paul? I am surprised that neither you or Sue have approached the subject of her taking on another lover or two. I almost screamed at you about this a few months ago when it appeared you were resigning yourself to having her fall in love with Paul or make Paul her primary partner--I really do not know which it is. I would have thought that Sue, once having established that you were here willing partner in exploring her sexuality, would want to do more exploring, maybe a lot more exploring! She is so right, the sexual intensity of a new lover can be exhilarating, so why settle down?
Sorry for interjecting myself into your discussion but this has been bugging me for months and thought I would ask.
With affection and best wishes for you and Sue,
Sandy
Steve, I am glad to see you working out your feelings about Sue's desires. I hope it works out so you are both happy with the situation, and that you continue to keep us updated despite criticisms from some posters.
Your post above really drove home to me the difference between hotwifing and cuckolding. The reclaiming of the wife appears to be a big part of hotwifing, which is what you have been doing for most of the past 9 years. Now you are about to enter cuckolding where the husband does not get the excitement and pleasure of reclaiming the wife. I think many men on this site are turned on by the cuckolding theme but want to live the hotwife lifestyle. Your posts give us a great insight into that transition. While many of us could handle a hotwife relationship, it takes much stronger man to willingly enter a cuckold relationship like you will after Labor Day. Stay strong in your desires.
Your post above really drove home to me the difference between hotwifing and cuckolding. The reclaiming of the wife appears to be a big part of hotwifing, which is what you have been doing for most of the past 9 years. Now you are about to enter cuckolding where the husband does not get the excitement and pleasure of reclaiming the wife. I think many men on this site are turned on by the cuckolding theme but want to live the hotwife lifestyle. Your posts give us a great insight into that transition. While many of us could handle a hotwife relationship, it takes much stronger man to willingly enter a cuckold relationship like you will after Labor Day. Stay strong in your desires.
STB ... super news on your progress down the beta path. So are you going to be using up your coupons or are you going to do the proper beta thing and burn them up? Also, I would highly recommend purchasing a drop-cam so can watch live and masterbate to it, while they can maintain their privacy.
Since your wife does get off on you masterbating, I think you should be encouraged strongly to master bate "alot". She should try to encourage you to up your game alot, with proof of course. Think of it in the opposite matter to those that prefer the chastity games. She should make it more and more challenging for you to be able to enter here up until labor day. E.g. Lets say a 4 day challenge means you have to show her 4 condoms full of your fun over a time period, then the next time it doubles. While you are cutoff, you should be ****** to show to your wife your collections and she should expect you to have x condoms filled every day. The fun ceremony could be throwing the condoms away in celebration of you losing your manhood.
To assist in the facility of what she shared with Paul, you should look at methods of masturbation that de-sensitize your manhood to PIV fun. So Paul can feel less threatened and your wife can enjoy the knowledge that even if you wanted to re-assert yourself, you would physically still be a beta.
Outside of that ... bravo on achieving a fantastic status! Can't wait to hear more from your successes.
Since your wife does get off on you masterbating, I think you should be encouraged strongly to master bate "alot". She should try to encourage you to up your game alot, with proof of course. Think of it in the opposite matter to those that prefer the chastity games. She should make it more and more challenging for you to be able to enter here up until labor day. E.g. Lets say a 4 day challenge means you have to show her 4 condoms full of your fun over a time period, then the next time it doubles. While you are cutoff, you should be ****** to show to your wife your collections and she should expect you to have x condoms filled every day. The fun ceremony could be throwing the condoms away in celebration of you losing your manhood.
To assist in the facility of what she shared with Paul, you should look at methods of masturbation that de-sensitize your manhood to PIV fun. So Paul can feel less threatened and your wife can enjoy the knowledge that even if you wanted to re-assert yourself, you would physically still be a beta.
Outside of that ... bravo on achieving a fantastic status! Can't wait to hear more from your successes.
- Status
