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Not a Cuck but GF is dating. Super depressed

  • Thread starterwhatevur
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Yup.....It sucks to b u right now....But there is nothing u can do about it. And as for the sex part of this whole deal....Don't put so much weight on it. Things transpire naturally....And if anything were to happen....It was meant to be.
 
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So when dear old dad and JoAnn were cuddling on the sofa were they being intimate, kissing and making out, or just being close? When you and JoAnn had some alone time how did you interact? Did the two of you kiss, hug? Any intimacy at all or is hers all going to your dad?
I think it would be very difficult to see your father and your (ex)girlfriend kissing.
 
HappyFace said:
Sorry bud. I don’t think she’ll wait till marriage.
I've been talking to JoAnn a bit more since I'm home. She's been very reassuring to me. She keeps assuring me that she loves me and that this is just a temporary non-sexual thing with dad so that she can have a 'boyfriend' that she can actually go out with.

msbevw said:
Wish your dad well, and then stay out of their way and let things proceed as they will. You are on this site for a reason, that being that you want to experience a cuckold lifestyle. so let it happen.
I'm only posting on this site because when I tried to post it to every other site they took it down or banned me.

Thinking about it objectively, you're right that I should wish my dad well. He hasn't had a girlfriend in years and he probably thinks JoAnn is quite a catch. I understand all that, but I just can't accept it. I won't stay out of their way. I'm still going to do everything I can to convince JoAnn that we belong together. I think she believes that, I truly do.

SheDontLikeIdea said:
Yup.....It sucks to b u right now....But there is nothing u can do about it. And as for the sex part of this whole deal....Don't put so much weight on it. Things transpire naturally....And if anything were to happen....It was meant to be.
I can't do much about it besides keeping a strong bond with JoAnn and working to convince her to stay with me. The thought of her having sex with him... I can't just act like it's no big deal. To some people it's not, but when JoAnn and I are both virgins, and we've been together for years... It is a big deal. Not only that, but being a Mormon she's expected to marry whomever she first has sex with. I don't really understand it but apparently sex is viewed in a way as marriage.

msbevw said:
So when dear old dad and JoAnn were cuddling on the sofa were they being intimate, kissing and making out, or just being close? When you and JoAnn had some alone time how did you interact? Did the two of you kiss, hug? Any intimacy at all or is hers all going to your dad?
I think it would be very difficult to see your father and your (ex)girlfriend kissing.
Since I've been back home I've seen them together several times. That first time he had his arm around her and she kinda had her head resting on his shoulder.

We still hug and Kiss like before, but haven't been able to do it very much and have to keep it secret.
Yesterday JoAnn came over also and we hung out for a bit. We were alone and talked about a lot and even a bit about her relationship with dad. I'm feeling a lot better after this conversation, but she did also ask me if I would be ok with her kissing dad. I him-hawed a lot but we talked a lot and she made me feel secure in our relationship. She then warned me that she was going to kiss him that night. I was surprised at how much my heart dropped at hearing that. I started to shake.

I hung around them both when they were together. Partly to dissuade any kissing, but also because I was in denial. I wanted to make sure she didn't kiss him.

We all sat around and watched a movie. after the movie, they both went to his room and shut the door. I was really scared at this point. Why would they go into his room? I listened through the door and didnt hear anything and then went outside and tried to look in the window. I could hear some voices but couldnt make them out.

They were in there for maybe 30 minutes before they came out. I couldn't tell if anything had happened. She said she was going home and I offered to walk her home.

As we were walking out the door, turned around to see dad pull her close and kiss her. I started shaking again and just basically froze. My heart was beating so fast. They pulled apart a bit and then went in again.

It was so gross.

She then called him 'babe' which didnt register for me for a while. I didn't really even think about it until the next day (today). That's when it really hit me.

We walked mostly in silence until I had to sit down and think about what I just saw. We talked about it. She made me feel better. Somehow she has a way of doing that. She makes me feel like im #1. She said they just went to his room to have some time alone and talk. She said they kissed in his room too, but mostly talked. He also offered her a cigarette, which is weird because he doesnt smoke. She doesnt either shes not even old enough for it. I can't believe he did that.

I don't have time to post all that we talked about, I'll try do hit more of it later. But I did want to say that she kept promising me that she won't have sex with him. She will go as far as her and I have (just kissing, but I did feel her up once), but definitely won't have sex until marriage.

When we got to her house we said goodbye and she went to kiss me. I had to stop her though. I told her I just couldnt... not when just minutes before those same lips had been locked to my dads. The thought disgusted me. She teased me about that a bit which made me feel a bit better.

I can't get the picture of them kissing out of my head. It's so disgusting. But, I'm feeling better than the last time i posted. She has reassured me. I feel like i'm safe now.
 
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Thanks for the great reply. I see that you are putting a lot of effort into this. Here's what I expect. Since they have kissed in front of you they will be doing that more and more. You can expect even more open displays of affection from them as your father gets more comfortable in making you uncomfortable.
As for thirty minutes alone in the bedroom with the door closed, a lot more took place than a few kisses and an offer of a cigarette. There was some touching going on, maybe even her giving him a blow job. That's my guess. Are you afraid to ask her it that happened?
 
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I talked to Andrea this last week. She's been in contact with JoAnn and probably know more about their relationship than me. JoAnn continues to assure me that thing with my dad are just dating, and nothing sexual will happen. I believe her.

When I talked to Andrea, she assured me the same thing, that things are non-sexual and Andrea has been encouraging JoAnn to keep it that way. I'm glad Andrea isn't working against me on this. I gave up a lot to let JoAnn date, but I just cant accept that they would have sex.

Andrea thanked me for being so understanding and open.
I told her how much it hurts me and how much I hate seeing JoAnn with my dad.
Andrea apologized that it had to happen this way. She originally thought JoAnn would just be casually dating a few different guys. She didn't realize it would be quite like this. She said she was sorry that it hurts me. She sounded genuine about it like she really doesn't want to hurt me.

She asked me if things were getting better. I said yeah a bit, but really slow.
She asked me if I thought I could learn to accept things the way they are?
I said no I don't think so.
She said she thinks I can, and I should. She said I should do whatever it takes to accept the current situation and go with the flow.
I said I am going with the flow, but I can't accept this.
She said "What else can you do?" She said it would be easier on me and I could get by a lot better If I just let go of the situation, accept what's happening, and see it all as a good thing.

I said I would try - but only as long as things do go any farther between JoAnn and dad.
She told me not to think about that since it wasnt going to happen. She said i'm only making things worse for myself by having thoughts like that.

I asked her how I could let things go and accept the situation.

She said I needed to lay things out the way they were, and then look at them in a different light, a good light.

I asked what she meant.

She said repeat after me:

Andrea "okay then repeat after me"

Andrea: "JoAnn is dating other guys"

Me: "my girlfriend is dating others"

Andrea: "no, stop looking at her as your girlfriend, you need to see all this in a DIFFERENT light, try again"

me: "JoAnn is dating other guys"

Andrea: "I'm in love with JoAnn, but she's currently in a relationship with another man"

me: "I'm in love with JoAnn, but she's currently in a relationship with another man"

Andrea: "and that's a GOOD thing, she's happier now"

Me: "and that's a good thing, she's happier now"

Andrea: "JoAnn is dating my dad"

me: "JoAnn is dating my dad"

Andrea: "JoAnn is my dad's girlfriend"

me: "JoAnn is my dads girlfriend"

Andrea: "My dad is JoAnn's boyfriend"

Me: "My dad is JoAnn's boyfriend"

Andrea: "together they are a couple"

me: "together they are a couple"

Andrea "and there's nothing wrong with that, they are happy together"

me: "and there's nothing wrong with that, they are happy together"


I asked her how this would help, but she just told me to keep thinking about it and keep repeating what we went over.
I don't really understand it, but shes been studying psycology and therapy so I hope she knows what shes talking about.


I think JoAnn has been a lot happier since all this started. She's been able to get out more and have more of a social life. And recently she and I have been able to spend a lot more time together. I've been doing my best to take Andrea's advice to just go with the flow and accept thing the way they are right now.

I've also been working on a few plans to break JoAnn and dad up. I know it's immoral, but I really want the pain to end.
I've been thinking of setting up an online dating site for dad, and trying to get him to go out with tohers. Right now with the coronavirus its not possible, but its worth a try. If that fails, I want to make it look like dads been online dating with others and then set up JoAnn to look at the computer and 'catch' him 'cheating' on her.

I've also thought about taking a few of the condoms from dads room and opening them, inflating them, etc to make it look liek they've been used, and then throw them away so JoAnn will find them and think he's been cheating. I don't want to hurt her or break her heart but I want her back.

Do you guys have any ideas?
 
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Your dad is beating that young pussy up. Probably isn't even wrapping it up just load after load in that young pussy just feeding her morning after pills so you don't know he's pounding the love of your life. Just face it the closest you going to get to penetrating that sweet young box is jerking off in her dirty panties
 
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Have you checked the condom box? Are there some missing from the box? If there is, there is only one reason for them to be gone. It means your dad is using them and you can get an idea by counting the missing ones how often your dad is having sex with JoAnn. And if that's the case, then there is nothing you can do about it except the fact that she is truly his now and get out of their way. My guess is that you will find quite a few condoms gone from the box so no reason for you to take any.
 
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whatevur said:
[Andrea] asked me if things were getting better. I said yeah, a bit, but really slow.
She asked me if I thought I could learn to accept things the way they are. I said no, I don't think so. She said she thinks I can.... and I should. She said I should do whatever it takes to accept the current situation and go with the flow.
It now appears to me that Ms. Andrea is giving you good advice.
whatevur said:
I said I would try - but only as long as things do [don't? was this a Freudian slip?] go any farther between JoAnn and dad. She told me not to think about that since it wasnt going to happen. She said i'm only making things worse for myself by having thoughts like that. I asked her how I could let things go and accept the situation.
Now you're starting to have positive thoughts....
whatevur said:
Andrea said, "Repeat after me:"
Andrea: "JoAnn is dating other guys."
Me: "My girlfriend is dating others."
Andrea: "No, stop looking at her as your girlfriend, you need to see all this in a DIFFERENT light, try again."
Me: "JoAnn is dating other guys."
Andrea: "I'm in love with JoAnn, but she's currently in a relationship with another man."
"Me: "I'm in love with JoAnn, but she's currently in a relationship with another man."
Andrea: "And that's a GOOD thing, she's happier now"
Me: "And that's a good thing, she's happier now."
Andrea: "JoAnn is dating my dad."
Me: "JoAnn is dating my dad."
Andrea: "JoAnn is my dad's girlfriend."
Me: "JoAnn is my dads girlfriend."
Andrea: "My dad is JoAnn's boyfriend."
Me: "My dad is JoAnn's boyfriend."
Andrea: "Together they are a couple."
Me: "Together they are a couple."
Andrea: "And there's nothing wrong with that, they are happy together."
Me: "And there's nothing wrong with that, they are happy together."
Ms. Andrea is subjecting you to good training.
whatevur said:
I asked her how this would help, but she just told me to keep thinking about it and keep repeating what we went over.
Yes, that is what you should do. Not so much "thinking about it," which is causing you anxiety, but keep repeating to yourself what Ms. Andrea had you repeat after her.
whatevur said:
I don't really understand it, but shes been studying psycology and therapy so I hope she knows what shes talking about.
I suggest you assume Ms. Andrea does know what she's talking about, and follow her instructions.
whatevur said:
I think JoAnn has been a lot happier since all this started. She's been able to get out more and have more of a social life.
And this is the reason. Ms. JoAnn is happier dating your father, not just spending time with you. Another reason is, your father is almost certainly happier now that he's dating an attractive young woman who likes him.
whatevur said:
And recently, she [Ms. Joann] and I have been able to spend a lot more time together.
This too is good.
whatevur said:
I've been doing my best to take Andrea's advice to just go with the flow and accept things the way they are right now.
Good. And, I suggest it's time for you to begin realizing and accepting that many women are happier if they have more than one man. To help you move toward this acceptance, I suggest reading:

http://hotwifeletters.com/

(or enter HotwifeLetters dot com in your preferred search engine).
whatevur said:
I've also been working on a few plans to break JoAnn and dad up. I know it's immoral, but I really want the pain to end. .....
I strongly advise you against trying to carry out sneaky plans to try to "break up" your dad and Ms. Joanne. The most likely result, in my opinion, will be that your schemes will backfire and alienate you from BOTH your dad and Ms. Joanne, causing them to view you as someone who is sneaky and can't be trusted.
whatevur said:
Do you guys have any ideas?
Take Ms. Andrea's advice and follow her instructions, which appear to be good (as you've quoted her in your post).

And, I suggest repeating to yourself what Ms. Andrea told you to repeat after her, while you masturbate each night. While doing so, imagine to yourself Ms. Joanne fucking another man (not necessarily your father, but in a more abstract sense), and each time you finish repeating what Ms. Andrea told you to repeat to yourself, say to yourself: "This turns me on," as you imagine Ms. joanne's happiness increased as she attains sexual and psychological satisfaction above and beyond what you can give her. Continue until you ejaculate (which will be positive reinforcement), and don't allow negative thoughts to creep into your mind.

Then, after about a week of repeating these things to yourself while you masturbate to ejaculation, tell Ms. Andrea that's what you're doing. My guess is, she will approve and give you additional positive reinforcement.
 
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Tugmynutz said:
Your dad is beating that young pussy up. Probably isn't even wrapping it up just load after load in that young pussy just feeding her morning after pills so you don't know he's pounding the love of your life. Just face it the closest you going to get to penetrating that sweet young box is jerking off in her dirty panties
willngtobcuc said:
Agreed he is done
Why do you guys keep saying stuff like this? Have you not read my previous entries? She's very religious and shes promised me she wont have sex with him. I have seen no signs or evidence to suggest otherwise. I don't know what kind of messed up over-sexxed world you guys come from, but some parts of the world are still very traditional.

It looks like i misjudged this site when I joined. I thought you could get some worthwhile discussion and help, but most of what I'm getting is stuff like the above, just jack-off material for someone with no sympathy.

Maybe its just because I don't understand this kink, nor do I want to, but its pretty telling when the only thing on this site is all the 'look at my wife', 'what would you do to her' and 'i'm just a cuck sissy faggot' threads.

I tried to join a few other more appropriate sites to vent my frustrations, but they all either deleted my post or banned me.


HappyFace said:
Hidden camera works wonders too...
I've thought about that. It seems pretty hard to find GOOD small cameras online. Most of them are chinese junk, have bad reviews, don't have a long battery, aren't small enough, etc. Even then, you find one that is supposedly good and its super expensive.

I might try buying some of the cheap crappy ones to see if they work. I can't really figure where to put them though. Looks to me like the camera needs to be positioned correctly to be able to see anything, which means you cant hide it behind something. It also needs to be accessible to change batteries, swap SD cards, etc. It would be easier to hide a microphone, which may work just as good. Not sure...
What are some good hiding spots for hidden cameras?
 
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Custer Laststand said:
It now appears to me that Ms. Andrea is giving you good advice.

Now you're starting to have positive thoughts....

Ms. Andrea is subjecting you to good training.

Yes, that is what you should do. Not so much "thinking about it," which is causing you anxiety, but keep repeating to yourself what Ms. Andrea had you repeat after her.

I suggest you assume Ms. Andrea does know what she's talking about, and follow her instructions.

And this is the reason. Ms. JoAnn is happier dating your father, not just spending time with you. Another reason is, your father is almost certainly happier now that he's dating an attractive young woman who likes him.

This too is good.

Good. And, I suggest it's time for you to begin realizing and accepting that many women are happier if they have more than one man. To help you move toward this acceptance, I suggest reading:

http://hotwifeletters.com/

(or enter HotwifeLetters dot com in your preferred search engine).

I strongly advise you against trying to carry out sneaky plans to try to "break up" your dad and Ms. Joanne. The most likely result, in my opinion, will be that your schemes will backfire and alienate you from BOTH your dad and Ms. Joanne, causing them to view you as someone who is sneaky and can't be trusted.

Take Ms. Andrea's advice and follow her instructions, which appear to be good (as you've quoted her in your post).

And, I suggest repeating to yourself what Ms. Andrea told you to repeat after her, while you masturbate each night. While doing so, imagine to yourself Ms. Joanne fucking another man (not necessarily your father, but in a more abstract sense), and each time you finish repeating what Ms. Andrea told you to repeat to yourself, say to yourself: "This turns me on," as you imagine Ms. joanne's happiness increased as she attains sexual and psychological satisfaction above and beyond what you can give her. Continue until you ejaculate (which will be positive reinforcement), and don't allow negative thoughts to creep into your mind.

Then, after about a week of repeating these things to yourself while you masturbate to ejaculation, tell Ms. Andrea that's what you're doing. My guess is, she will approve and give you additional positive reinforcement.
I don't know if her advice is good or not. I'm thinking of seeing a real professional to get a second opinion. I'm also not sure if I genuinely want to accept this. I don't want to turn into a cuckold. It shouldnt be a choice between that or me being hurt and depressed.

Maybe youre right I dont know. I don't know anything for sure anymore.
 
msbevw said:
Have you checked the condom box? Are there some missing from the box? If there is, there is only one reason for them to be gone. It means your dad is using them and you can get an idea by counting the missing ones how often your dad is having sex with JoAnn. And if that's the case, then there is nothing you can do about it except the fact that she is truly his now and get out of their way. My guess is that you will find quite a few condoms gone from the box so no reason for you to take any.
Believe me I've kept an eye on that condom box. They are all still there.
 
Thank you for the update. Some of us are just trying to offer supportive advice. there will always be the trolls on sites like this. Just ignore them and have fun posting when you can.
 
hopefully it works out for you. maybe expeess to your dad how much it hurts and maybe he would back off
 
I cried reading that the last time was as a child so I will PM you my thoughts.
 
With the isolation that's being imposed, is JoAnn able to come visit your father and you regularly? Has their dating been restricted to only home bonding? And has their intimacy and kissing increased in your presence?
 
whatevur said:
I don't know if her [Ms. Andrea's] advice is good or not. I'm thinking of seeing a real professional to get a second opinion.
There's nothing wrong with that, if you can afford it — or if you have health insurance that will cover a psychological problem of this nature. You should, of course, check in advance to see whether your insurance will cover it.
whatevur said:
I'm also not sure if I genuinely want to accept this. I don't want to turn into a cuckold. ......
You're taking this too seriously, Whatevur. According to surveys, the percentage of married women who have had at least one affair has become roughly similar to the percentage of married men who have had at least one affair (something like 50%).

In other words, if you get married there will be roughly a 50 - 50 chance your wife will take a lover at some point (with or without your knowledge), thus making you a cuckold (whether you know it or not). See:

Statistics on Sexual Affairs
http://hotwifeletters.com/fifty.htm

in which the first paragraph reads:

"Although statistics vary widely, according to a recent study published in a leading U.S. women's journal, 64% of married women in the U.S. have had at least one affair."

The problem you're having so much trouble coming to terms with is: women are not the property of their husbands or boyfriends (like TV sets or refrigerators). Rather, women are people in their own right, with sexual and psychological needs that often exceed the abilities of just one man to satisfy them, especially in a long-term marriage with the same man. The concept of a woman being "owned" (literally, in the ancient past) by her man is an ancient Judeo-Christian religious concept that simply has no place in today's society. And, that has been the case for many decades.... more specifically, since 1960 when the FDA approved the birth control pill, and well before that, when women stepped up, stepped forward and demonstrated their competence and abilities by playing important key roles in the incredibly intense factory production of armaments during World War II.

And, under no circumstance should you spy on your father to try to determine whether he's using his condoms. That's his business, not yours. Why do you have the ability to sneak into his bedroom and count his condoms, anyway? Do you and your father live in the same house?
 
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