Certainly waiting with baited breath but it seems that it was pretty successful in that You both shared an experience that you thought you would like to try, it will now be something that you can discuss and you both recognize that it probably isnt something you want to repeat. I mean if she decides to take the lead and say that wasnt how i imagined it and would rather you just jerk off in the future. Somehow i think youd be okay with that.
Our "new norm"
- Thread starterSoonToBe
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Steve,
Well done, I suspect once that barrier has been broken in your mind, the next time when it comes will be easier for you, although maybe not for Sue. She must at some point have also discussed the night with Paul to see how he took it all in.
Given our previous comments, it would be very interesting to hear of Sue's reaction to your weekend activities as well as what happened the next day before Paul left. Did you detect any sign of him trying to reclaim her pussy after you had come? The thought must have crossed his mind somewhere.
Well done, I suspect once that barrier has been broken in your mind, the next time when it comes will be easier for you, although maybe not for Sue. She must at some point have also discussed the night with Paul to see how he took it all in.
Given our previous comments, it would be very interesting to hear of Sue's reaction to your weekend activities as well as what happened the next day before Paul left. Did you detect any sign of him trying to reclaim her pussy after you had come? The thought must have crossed his mind somewhere.
Ugh - work is just insane, home and now doing more yet from here. At least we had some time together last night and yes, Peak, we talked a lot about things.
I ended my update yesterday a bit abruptly. After I'd finished I felt a bit like a 3rd wheel and I left them alone and went back downstairs. I did not see Paul again but Sue did come out of the bedroom and downstairs in her robe and she teased me, opening it and letting me see her. We talked a bit and I she said she'd liked that I'd joined them and she was concerned that I was okay about it. I admitted it was okay and we swapped "I love you's". Before she went back up she reminded me that Paul was spending the night and I realized that meant I needed to go in and get some clothes for the night and the next morning. He was just coming out of the bathroom as I got the last of my stuff together and he said "thanks" as I told him to have a good night. I have to admit, it felt weird saying that to him as he was about to spend the night with her.
I will say that I didn't sleep well at all and that I swore I could hear them at points during the night. But there was no doubt of what was going on the next morning, not from the shrieks of pleasure that Sue clearly didn't hold back. I was a bit surprised when Sue came down first in her robe but Paul followed and he was fully dressed - off to a golf game no less! He shook my hand and again said thanks and that Sue was a wonderful lady and he thanked me again for sharing her. She followed him down to the front door and as I watched, I saw her open her robe and they spent a while kissing with his hands all over her before he left. The look on her face was just so beautiful as I realized he'd likely fingered her to a small orgasm as I'd spied on them.
I wanted to have some more fun with her but she said she was starving - so we had some breakfast (lunch?) together and she then invited me to follow her up to our room where she let me take off her robe.
I cannot describe how it made me feel to see her naked after knowing she'd spent the night with him. She told me that I wasn't going to have sex with her but she asked me if I would go down on her and she giggled that "I thought you might enjoy that". And I did!!! As I've said, it's so much easier with her now that things are more out in the open and I told her as I lay on the bed between her legs that I loved that Paul had fucked her and that I loved sharing the experience with her in whatever way she wanted, and as I said that, I added, "including this" - and with that I leaned down and started to lick and suck at her pussy.
I will share more about our talk together and what she thought about the weekend either later tonight or tomorrow sometime.
Right now, I need to finish some work stuff unfortunately.
I ended my update yesterday a bit abruptly. After I'd finished I felt a bit like a 3rd wheel and I left them alone and went back downstairs. I did not see Paul again but Sue did come out of the bedroom and downstairs in her robe and she teased me, opening it and letting me see her. We talked a bit and I she said she'd liked that I'd joined them and she was concerned that I was okay about it. I admitted it was okay and we swapped "I love you's". Before she went back up she reminded me that Paul was spending the night and I realized that meant I needed to go in and get some clothes for the night and the next morning. He was just coming out of the bathroom as I got the last of my stuff together and he said "thanks" as I told him to have a good night. I have to admit, it felt weird saying that to him as he was about to spend the night with her.
I will say that I didn't sleep well at all and that I swore I could hear them at points during the night. But there was no doubt of what was going on the next morning, not from the shrieks of pleasure that Sue clearly didn't hold back. I was a bit surprised when Sue came down first in her robe but Paul followed and he was fully dressed - off to a golf game no less! He shook my hand and again said thanks and that Sue was a wonderful lady and he thanked me again for sharing her. She followed him down to the front door and as I watched, I saw her open her robe and they spent a while kissing with his hands all over her before he left. The look on her face was just so beautiful as I realized he'd likely fingered her to a small orgasm as I'd spied on them.
I wanted to have some more fun with her but she said she was starving - so we had some breakfast (lunch?) together and she then invited me to follow her up to our room where she let me take off her robe.
I cannot describe how it made me feel to see her naked after knowing she'd spent the night with him. She told me that I wasn't going to have sex with her but she asked me if I would go down on her and she giggled that "I thought you might enjoy that". And I did!!! As I've said, it's so much easier with her now that things are more out in the open and I told her as I lay on the bed between her legs that I loved that Paul had fucked her and that I loved sharing the experience with her in whatever way she wanted, and as I said that, I added, "including this" - and with that I leaned down and started to lick and suck at her pussy.
I will share more about our talk together and what she thought about the weekend either later tonight or tomorrow sometime.
Right now, I need to finish some work stuff unfortunately.
Well, we spent Tuesday and some of last night continuing our talks about the weekend and things in general. I'll now have the rest of today and tonight to continue my own thoughts while she spends the night at Pauls. She's decided that this is how she'd like her "schedule" with Paul to work, that she will spend one night every other week at his place and on those weeks she will try to see him at least one other time, likely over the weekend. On the intervening weeks, she very much wants him to spend at least one night here with us. I told her that I didn't know if we could be quite that rigid with things but she said that's what she was hoping to arrange and that we'd work around any issues. But I guess the main part is that I didn't disagree or resist her request.
But the real thing that we've spent the time talking about is her emerging and evolving feelings and mine.
The first thing that she shared and I guess was the start of things was that she came out and told me that she now likes fucking Paul better than me. As we talked she told me that it was bound to happen once she started having so much more sex with him and even more now with our more firm use of condoms together. She told me that it wasn't really technique but, with a tiny bit of hesitation, she came out and told me that it's the shape of is cock that really turns her on and makes her go wild with him. She was very supportive and asked me if I had thought that this was going to happen and when I said a quiet "yes" to that, she asked me to tell her honestly if it turned me on to know that and I answered her with a more vocal "yes". She hugged me and told me it was okay and that it was very touching to her for me to say that and mean it and that she expressed her appreciation for me letting this happen for her. She told me how she still loved how my cock felt in her but that our different shapes were now really noticeable and feel-able to her. My cock being thicker at the base, she says still feels wonderfully filling to her when I am in her fully and am stretching her open. But she said that she hoped it wouldn't hurt me to hear that she loves Paul's cock and she went on and on about how the "big head" on it really made her feel things.
I admit is was a little painful to hear her tell me how she loved to feel him pushing up against her when they first get started and how she feels her vagina being stretched open as he pushed into her. But she seemed to really gloat at how she told me that "once he pops inside me..... wow....". She told me that the feeling of him suddenly slipping into her, past the tight ring at the opening to her pussy - how when she feels that it seems to turn her on incredibly. But she went on to describe how she says she can actually feel the "big head" on his cock as he pushes into her and especially when he pulls back and pulls at that same ring at the opening of her vagina on the way out. It was unmistakeable at how she would close her eyes or breathe deeply when she told me how wonderful the pleasure is at feeling him. She again said she hoped it wasn't hurting me to hear it - and when I showed her the huge hardon I had she giggled and kept going. What she told me next was something she'd said in the past but never so clearly - about how she says she can feel him when he pushes all the way into her - about the fullness she feels "way in the back of my pussy". She held my hand when she said that its the most wonderful feeling when he cums inside her when he's so far in her, she says she can feel the heat and the sensation of being filled and that it just makes her almost cum each time she feels it. She said she's felt that before but then added that the different shape of his cock seemed to make it feel more intense.
What held the most cuckold-sting for me was what she said after that. She again held me close and said first that she loved me, maybe now more than ever, and that nothing we were doing sexually should concern me about how she feels about me and she added that she hoped that even though it might hurt to hear, that she thought (rightfully so) that it would be something I would want to hear and she hoped would turn me on. When I nodded my head she told me that it feels "more normal" to her now to be having sex with Paul and that she feels that being with me is "different' and admitted that in some ways, the feelings she has have swapped places with me and Paul. She told me that she loved me but that she now feels that she is more comfortable and able to really enjoy sex with Paul more than me. Before I could say anything she added "that was why it was so nice that you joined us on Saturday" and said that being with me like that was different to her as opposed to how she said she felt normal having sex with him.
It led to an interesting discussion in which I revealed some of my more deep and emerging thoughts. She said that "it's been over a year now" that she's been with him and that in that time she's had far more sex with him than with me - she thought it was at least 3 or 4x with him vs. me and she asked me how that made me feel. I told her it was awkward for me to admit but that she was right and that it does very much turn me on to know how things have changed and I told her that it really turned me on that she felt that way about him. She said that its something she'd felt even longer ago and mentioned that she'd started to feel this when she was seeing Robert and that over time she's become more confident in letting it happen especially after hearing what I've said and wanted.
She said she doesn't fully understand how my having less sex with her turns me on and I told her that I couldn't fully explain it but that for me, less sex and now me using condoms with her seems to do more for me mentally. I told her that I know I am having less physical feelings as a result of it but mentally, it is turning me on incredibly. I told her that once I felt that Paul wasn't judging me and that I didn't feel emasculated by using a condom with her in front of him, that it was something that was incredible for me to experience. She asked me more about what it makes me feel and I tried to explain it to her - that somehow by my own means, denying myself the most intimate sensations and experiences with her, that it somehow turns me on to know that she's having them with Paul. It's weird but in some ways it seems to me to almost separate the sex from our relationship and let me look in on it from the outside. I told her that at the same time as I know that I can't feel how wet or open she is - that the thoughts an feelings that I have in my head at that time are so incredibly pleasurable that they make up for the loss of physical intimacy.
We talked for a while about how this all makes me feel and I told her honestly that I was loving what we were doing - that some of what she'd said did make me a little scared and concerned especially about who she feels "normal" with. She held me tight and said she understood all of that too and she wanted me to know that this was different with Paul, that she is very much aware of all of this including how she feels emotionally for him.. When I paused she realized she should probably answer that a bit more. She said one thing that I wasn't ready to hear and that was that she loved him - but not like she loves me at all - not like a husband/wife - but more of him as a good friend and that she genuinely liked him. She said what has been said many other times, after having sex with him and being so intimate for so long that feelings have to develop. She asked me if I felt she was out of control or anything like that and I had to tell her honestly "no" and she said that's because of how she now feels about me and everything - that she knows she can truly WANT sex with Paul and that it doesn't mean anything about how she feels about me other than the physical aspect of sex with me - and she added that "now that you can share with us (like I did on Saturday) that it should be really nice for all of us". She went on to say that knowing I want her to experience this with Paul and that I want her to feel this kind of sexual desire for him, that for her, knowing she can give that to Paul and to experience that with him is what is letting her feel that it is just sex and nothing more. She said that was one of the biggest things she'd learned and came to understand this year, that she can give herself to him and it's not something that has to be beyond just that. (she alluded to her now not needing to have the "whole big affair" that she thought she would need to have to let her feel like this).
More after lunch.
But the real thing that we've spent the time talking about is her emerging and evolving feelings and mine.
The first thing that she shared and I guess was the start of things was that she came out and told me that she now likes fucking Paul better than me. As we talked she told me that it was bound to happen once she started having so much more sex with him and even more now with our more firm use of condoms together. She told me that it wasn't really technique but, with a tiny bit of hesitation, she came out and told me that it's the shape of is cock that really turns her on and makes her go wild with him. She was very supportive and asked me if I had thought that this was going to happen and when I said a quiet "yes" to that, she asked me to tell her honestly if it turned me on to know that and I answered her with a more vocal "yes". She hugged me and told me it was okay and that it was very touching to her for me to say that and mean it and that she expressed her appreciation for me letting this happen for her. She told me how she still loved how my cock felt in her but that our different shapes were now really noticeable and feel-able to her. My cock being thicker at the base, she says still feels wonderfully filling to her when I am in her fully and am stretching her open. But she said that she hoped it wouldn't hurt me to hear that she loves Paul's cock and she went on and on about how the "big head" on it really made her feel things.
I admit is was a little painful to hear her tell me how she loved to feel him pushing up against her when they first get started and how she feels her vagina being stretched open as he pushed into her. But she seemed to really gloat at how she told me that "once he pops inside me..... wow....". She told me that the feeling of him suddenly slipping into her, past the tight ring at the opening to her pussy - how when she feels that it seems to turn her on incredibly. But she went on to describe how she says she can actually feel the "big head" on his cock as he pushes into her and especially when he pulls back and pulls at that same ring at the opening of her vagina on the way out. It was unmistakeable at how she would close her eyes or breathe deeply when she told me how wonderful the pleasure is at feeling him. She again said she hoped it wasn't hurting me to hear it - and when I showed her the huge hardon I had she giggled and kept going. What she told me next was something she'd said in the past but never so clearly - about how she says she can feel him when he pushes all the way into her - about the fullness she feels "way in the back of my pussy". She held my hand when she said that its the most wonderful feeling when he cums inside her when he's so far in her, she says she can feel the heat and the sensation of being filled and that it just makes her almost cum each time she feels it. She said she's felt that before but then added that the different shape of his cock seemed to make it feel more intense.
What held the most cuckold-sting for me was what she said after that. She again held me close and said first that she loved me, maybe now more than ever, and that nothing we were doing sexually should concern me about how she feels about me and she added that she hoped that even though it might hurt to hear, that she thought (rightfully so) that it would be something I would want to hear and she hoped would turn me on. When I nodded my head she told me that it feels "more normal" to her now to be having sex with Paul and that she feels that being with me is "different' and admitted that in some ways, the feelings she has have swapped places with me and Paul. She told me that she loved me but that she now feels that she is more comfortable and able to really enjoy sex with Paul more than me. Before I could say anything she added "that was why it was so nice that you joined us on Saturday" and said that being with me like that was different to her as opposed to how she said she felt normal having sex with him.
It led to an interesting discussion in which I revealed some of my more deep and emerging thoughts. She said that "it's been over a year now" that she's been with him and that in that time she's had far more sex with him than with me - she thought it was at least 3 or 4x with him vs. me and she asked me how that made me feel. I told her it was awkward for me to admit but that she was right and that it does very much turn me on to know how things have changed and I told her that it really turned me on that she felt that way about him. She said that its something she'd felt even longer ago and mentioned that she'd started to feel this when she was seeing Robert and that over time she's become more confident in letting it happen especially after hearing what I've said and wanted.
She said she doesn't fully understand how my having less sex with her turns me on and I told her that I couldn't fully explain it but that for me, less sex and now me using condoms with her seems to do more for me mentally. I told her that I know I am having less physical feelings as a result of it but mentally, it is turning me on incredibly. I told her that once I felt that Paul wasn't judging me and that I didn't feel emasculated by using a condom with her in front of him, that it was something that was incredible for me to experience. She asked me more about what it makes me feel and I tried to explain it to her - that somehow by my own means, denying myself the most intimate sensations and experiences with her, that it somehow turns me on to know that she's having them with Paul. It's weird but in some ways it seems to me to almost separate the sex from our relationship and let me look in on it from the outside. I told her that at the same time as I know that I can't feel how wet or open she is - that the thoughts an feelings that I have in my head at that time are so incredibly pleasurable that they make up for the loss of physical intimacy.
We talked for a while about how this all makes me feel and I told her honestly that I was loving what we were doing - that some of what she'd said did make me a little scared and concerned especially about who she feels "normal" with. She held me tight and said she understood all of that too and she wanted me to know that this was different with Paul, that she is very much aware of all of this including how she feels emotionally for him.. When I paused she realized she should probably answer that a bit more. She said one thing that I wasn't ready to hear and that was that she loved him - but not like she loves me at all - not like a husband/wife - but more of him as a good friend and that she genuinely liked him. She said what has been said many other times, after having sex with him and being so intimate for so long that feelings have to develop. She asked me if I felt she was out of control or anything like that and I had to tell her honestly "no" and she said that's because of how she now feels about me and everything - that she knows she can truly WANT sex with Paul and that it doesn't mean anything about how she feels about me other than the physical aspect of sex with me - and she added that "now that you can share with us (like I did on Saturday) that it should be really nice for all of us". She went on to say that knowing I want her to experience this with Paul and that I want her to feel this kind of sexual desire for him, that for her, knowing she can give that to Paul and to experience that with him is what is letting her feel that it is just sex and nothing more. She said that was one of the biggest things she'd learned and came to understand this year, that she can give herself to him and it's not something that has to be beyond just that. (she alluded to her now not needing to have the "whole big affair" that she thought she would need to have to let her feel like this).
More after lunch.
SoonToBe said:
If this doesn't sounds scary I don't know what would. She claims she loves you, but "swapping" has already taken place and she is no more comfortable having sex with you - particularly without condom. I know you enjoy it and all, but still.
SoonToBe said:
Really.....It's about sex, sex and sex only. Isn't it more arousing to you. Are you not thinking of sex more now than before? So don't your little head fool your big one.
SoonToBe said:
Things don't add up STB! They don't. She is saying something else and doing something else.
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Wow - wrote a book already.
So, thing is, most of the conversation was one-sided to me and by last night, when our normal "Wednesday time" was approaching, we'd finished dinner and I think both of us knew we still wanted and needed to talk more.
She told me how she wanted to be able to feel good about wanting to stay at Pauls or to have him stay with us and that she wanted to be sure that I was okay with that. And again she wanted to hear my side of it and so while I'd said a lot of this earlier, I could tell that she wanted to hear it again from me.
By last night, I knew what I wanted to say and after all she had said to me, I felt better about saying what I was thinking. We were lying in bed last night and the mood was turning and we were feeling close together. I told her that as long as we still shared close moments like we were where it truly felt like we were together as one that I did want her to be with him. She was listening and she encouraged me to tell her more. I know that I've said before that Wednesday nights are when it truly feels like we can talk openly but even so, I felt like I had to tell her that I felt uncomfortable with some of my thoughts. As I said, she was really listening and she held my hands and she told me that I shouldn't ever feel that I can't tell her something - she told me "if I can tell you that I love sex with Paul, you can surely tell me anything". I actually said to her that in some ways I was worried about seeming "...like less of a man..." to her. She hugged me and told me again that this is just sex and fun and that it doesn't have anything to do with how she looks up to me or how she considers me a "man". She kissed me and then said that it actually makes her feel more in love with me knowing that I would talk to her.
I know a lot of people reading this will wonder about me after what I said but it just felt like it was the right time to tell her. I told her that it made me crazy with jealousy and arousal that she's going to spend the night with him. Thing was, once I started to talk and hearing how she responded by holding my hand tighter and really supportively saying "go on baby". I told her that it drove me crazy and it made me feel like she was like a Playboy model - someone who I lusted after and masturbated being excited about but at the same time, not being able to have her. She encouraged me to tell her more and I did. I told her that I loved how I felt when I'm alone and I know what she's doing and I think about what I've seen when I've been with them and I have all sorts of visions in my head about it. She asked me what I do about it and I told her that it is something I find I can masturbate to over and over again and that I get very intense orgasms over it. I told her pretty explicitly about how I like to think of her sleeping naked next to him knowing he can and does have her whenever he wants and yes, I made it pretty clear when I told her how turned on it makes me to think of her sleeping next to him after they've had sex together.
My cock was hard already as I was telling her this and I can't explain it but I think I even started to cry a little bit at feeling like I could tell her all this - yes, I'd said it all before, but last night, I think she heard it and understood it - that it is something that affects me so deeply that I can't really describe it. I told her that I always get rock hard and horny as heck thinking about them together in the morning and how she shares her most intimate moments with him. She asked me right then if it turned me on that she will pee in the bathroom while he's in there with her whether in the shower or just at the sink next to her. She asked me because she knows it's not something she will ever really do unless she can't hold it in with me. I told her that for me it turns me on in the same way it did long ago when she first told me that she'd shown Brad how to put her diaphragm in! She blushed at that but told me that it meant a lot to know that it turned me on as she wasn't sure herself how she felt other than feeling liberated enough to do it but now that she knows I get a sexual thrill from it she says she will relax a bit more about it. I told her that it was just part of the same feelings as how it makes me feel to know she's showering and doing all of that with him tomorrow morning to which she replied that she always feels incredibly sexually aroused doing that too - as if it makes her getting ready in the morning just really more of the fun with him from the night before. She teased that sometimes he'll look into the shower while she's shaving her legs and she'll let him watch as she runs the razor over her pussy mound!
My cock was rock hard and I was starting to stroke away when she asked me to tell her about how I felt about the weekend and I knew that it wasn't a general question. I guess I was a tiny bit reluctant to say anything at first so she said "come on honey, tell me how you felt on Saturday". I told her that it had turned me on incredibly and that I was surprised at how Paul was about it. She said to me that "he thinks it's cool" and I said "yeah but does he know it all" and she looked at me and she just said "he knows you haven't cum in me in months baby". She said he talked to her about it and he told her that whatever I was into was okay with him and when they'd talked ahead of time that he said "when he's ready, it's okay" and she added that she had not told him about the setup with the condom box on the headboard. When the conversation went more towards Paul she steered me back and said "tell me about you baby...".
I told her that I probably felt a lot like she had over the past few days at some of what she'd said. I told her I was worried at first about it but when the time came, that I was much more turned on than I'd expected to be. She giggled and said, as she nodded towards my now stiff cock,
that she could tell and she just said "come on baby, just tell me". And I guess I just sort of blurted it out - I just said "it's so weird to say it but it really really turns me on to not be cumming in you". Once it was out there it seemed easy to just keep talking quickly and to not think too much so I just kept talking and told her that somehow it just feels right to me when I pull a condom on and that even just talking about it and thinking about it gets me going. She was all ears as I was just letting it all out I told her that hearing how she described sex with Paul had made me feel even better about it - that somehow it feels so good to me to know what she is feeling with him and that I wanted her to enjoy it with him as much as possible. She asked me if I missed feeling her bare and when I said that I did miss it but that it was much more mental than a physical arousal and satisfaction that I felt she said to me "I know, I can tell from how you are afterwards" and she proceeded to tell me that after all these years she can tell when I've reallly felt sexually satisfied and she said she can tell it is something that means a lot to me. I told her what I'd said that some of these thoughts scared me a little bit and she held my hand tightly as the other worked my cock and she said "I love you even more knowing how you really feel about all this".
I was really getting into stroking away as she started to tell me this sort of stuff - that she said again how it really means a lot to her that I want her to be with Paul and that she shouldn't feel anything bad about enjoying him. As I was stroking away she leaned down next to me and said that "it really does turn me on baby that you aren't cumming in me" and she continued to tease me in this sexy voice that she loved watching me cum, whether it was all over my stomach or "filling a condom like you did on Saturday", she said that seeing my cum and knowing it's another load that didn't go in her was something that she said was turning her on more and more and after our talks, she now knows it's okay for her to let it continue.
Peak - you may be honored to know that I thought of you around this time and your question of whether my feelings about this are growing or receding. I told her that in a way it was kind of exciting to not know when things will change and she asked me what I was thinking and I told her that it really excited me to think about this becoming our "norm" and that while it scared me to think of maybe never feeling her pussy bare again, I told her that aside of that thought, that knowing I wasn't going to feel her at any time in the near future was just a crazy turn on - to know that every time I see her naked or whatever that I'm reminded and aroused by knowing I won't be feeling her. I noticed she'd started to rub her pussy right around then and she said that it really excited her that "my husband isn't fucking me" and that until our talk she'd herself been scared to think this way but then she leaned over next to me and cooed in my ear "but maybe it is something we should have fun with" (and I remembered her saying this in the past) and she teased me and said "come on baby, you can think of how I'll be with Paul tomorrow night baby....". So as I stroked away I told her about how I felt so aroused at everything I told her that mentally, I felt an incredible thrill at what I was doing and I told her "it turns me on that I want it" and she cooed and moved close to me and said again "it's okay baby, it's okay that it turns you on" and she said "I guess I know that don't I, maybe its' why it feels so good to me". Well, that did it, I started to really get into it and I knew I was almost there. I just let it out - I told her how it had turned me on to see Paul fuck her and to see and feel - through the condom - how wet and open he'd left her. I told her how her telling me how he feels in her had only turned me on even more and that "...I get this crazy intense turn on knowing how he cums in you...". And a second later the thoughts in my head got to me. I felt myself go stiff in the bed and if anything I stroked even more intensely and a second later I let things go. I tried to hold back and even thought about trying to stop and make it last longer but it felt so good to say what I had and my mind was just racing that I just let it go. I felt my eyes roll back in my head and then I felt my cock throb in my hand as I stroked it. I moaned out with each thick spurt and I kept stroking even after I'd stopped cumming - sometimes my cock gets too sensitive but not last night - even after I'd stopped cumming it still felt awesome with my hand being lubricated by my cum.
When I caught my breath she was breathing heavily herself and was kissing my forehead and cheek and telling me how hot I looked as I came and then she said "my god honey, there's so much". I looked up and I counted at least 6 or 7 clear spurts with a big puddle in my navel. I let her watch as this time, I reached down and I drew out the last thick drops as I ran my thumb up from way down below my balls up to the tip. And she surprised the heck out of me by suddenly leaning forward and licking it off before it dripped onto my stomach. Before I could respond, she moved up and kissed me passionately.
So, that's it - it's all out there now. I feel a little self-conscious about things and I even told her so this mornng. She hugged me and said she'd "take it easy" on me and didn't play up too much teasing about tonight other than to ask me repeatedly if I was going to be okay being on my own and asked if I thought I was going to "do it again tomorrow night" meaning me masturbating and I laughed for a moment and I told her that I don't think I'm going to have a choice with how I'll be feeling later tonight.
After cumming that hard last night, I'm already rock hard again after writing all of this.
I will say, it feels good to be more honest and open with her. It was very weird to do so but I have to say that it felt wonderful to be able to tell her that I truly don't want to cum in her right now.
I need to finish up some stuff for work today - haven't done much with trying to get all of my thoughts out, but I think last night and these last few days have been a watershed-event of sorts. I'm not sure if anything really has changed but at the same time, I know that I feel different.
So, thing is, most of the conversation was one-sided to me and by last night, when our normal "Wednesday time" was approaching, we'd finished dinner and I think both of us knew we still wanted and needed to talk more.
She told me how she wanted to be able to feel good about wanting to stay at Pauls or to have him stay with us and that she wanted to be sure that I was okay with that. And again she wanted to hear my side of it and so while I'd said a lot of this earlier, I could tell that she wanted to hear it again from me.
By last night, I knew what I wanted to say and after all she had said to me, I felt better about saying what I was thinking. We were lying in bed last night and the mood was turning and we were feeling close together. I told her that as long as we still shared close moments like we were where it truly felt like we were together as one that I did want her to be with him. She was listening and she encouraged me to tell her more. I know that I've said before that Wednesday nights are when it truly feels like we can talk openly but even so, I felt like I had to tell her that I felt uncomfortable with some of my thoughts. As I said, she was really listening and she held my hands and she told me that I shouldn't ever feel that I can't tell her something - she told me "if I can tell you that I love sex with Paul, you can surely tell me anything". I actually said to her that in some ways I was worried about seeming "...like less of a man..." to her. She hugged me and told me again that this is just sex and fun and that it doesn't have anything to do with how she looks up to me or how she considers me a "man". She kissed me and then said that it actually makes her feel more in love with me knowing that I would talk to her.
I know a lot of people reading this will wonder about me after what I said but it just felt like it was the right time to tell her. I told her that it made me crazy with jealousy and arousal that she's going to spend the night with him. Thing was, once I started to talk and hearing how she responded by holding my hand tighter and really supportively saying "go on baby". I told her that it drove me crazy and it made me feel like she was like a Playboy model - someone who I lusted after and masturbated being excited about but at the same time, not being able to have her. She encouraged me to tell her more and I did. I told her that I loved how I felt when I'm alone and I know what she's doing and I think about what I've seen when I've been with them and I have all sorts of visions in my head about it. She asked me what I do about it and I told her that it is something I find I can masturbate to over and over again and that I get very intense orgasms over it. I told her pretty explicitly about how I like to think of her sleeping naked next to him knowing he can and does have her whenever he wants and yes, I made it pretty clear when I told her how turned on it makes me to think of her sleeping next to him after they've had sex together.
My cock was hard already as I was telling her this and I can't explain it but I think I even started to cry a little bit at feeling like I could tell her all this - yes, I'd said it all before, but last night, I think she heard it and understood it - that it is something that affects me so deeply that I can't really describe it. I told her that I always get rock hard and horny as heck thinking about them together in the morning and how she shares her most intimate moments with him. She asked me right then if it turned me on that she will pee in the bathroom while he's in there with her whether in the shower or just at the sink next to her. She asked me because she knows it's not something she will ever really do unless she can't hold it in with me. I told her that for me it turns me on in the same way it did long ago when she first told me that she'd shown Brad how to put her diaphragm in! She blushed at that but told me that it meant a lot to know that it turned me on as she wasn't sure herself how she felt other than feeling liberated enough to do it but now that she knows I get a sexual thrill from it she says she will relax a bit more about it. I told her that it was just part of the same feelings as how it makes me feel to know she's showering and doing all of that with him tomorrow morning to which she replied that she always feels incredibly sexually aroused doing that too - as if it makes her getting ready in the morning just really more of the fun with him from the night before. She teased that sometimes he'll look into the shower while she's shaving her legs and she'll let him watch as she runs the razor over her pussy mound!
My cock was rock hard and I was starting to stroke away when she asked me to tell her about how I felt about the weekend and I knew that it wasn't a general question. I guess I was a tiny bit reluctant to say anything at first so she said "come on honey, tell me how you felt on Saturday". I told her that it had turned me on incredibly and that I was surprised at how Paul was about it. She said to me that "he thinks it's cool" and I said "yeah but does he know it all" and she looked at me and she just said "he knows you haven't cum in me in months baby". She said he talked to her about it and he told her that whatever I was into was okay with him and when they'd talked ahead of time that he said "when he's ready, it's okay" and she added that she had not told him about the setup with the condom box on the headboard. When the conversation went more towards Paul she steered me back and said "tell me about you baby...".
I told her that I probably felt a lot like she had over the past few days at some of what she'd said. I told her I was worried at first about it but when the time came, that I was much more turned on than I'd expected to be. She giggled and said, as she nodded towards my now stiff cock,
that she could tell and she just said "come on baby, just tell me". And I guess I just sort of blurted it out - I just said "it's so weird to say it but it really really turns me on to not be cumming in you". Once it was out there it seemed easy to just keep talking quickly and to not think too much so I just kept talking and told her that somehow it just feels right to me when I pull a condom on and that even just talking about it and thinking about it gets me going. She was all ears as I was just letting it all out I told her that hearing how she described sex with Paul had made me feel even better about it - that somehow it feels so good to me to know what she is feeling with him and that I wanted her to enjoy it with him as much as possible. She asked me if I missed feeling her bare and when I said that I did miss it but that it was much more mental than a physical arousal and satisfaction that I felt she said to me "I know, I can tell from how you are afterwards" and she proceeded to tell me that after all these years she can tell when I've reallly felt sexually satisfied and she said she can tell it is something that means a lot to me. I told her what I'd said that some of these thoughts scared me a little bit and she held my hand tightly as the other worked my cock and she said "I love you even more knowing how you really feel about all this".
I was really getting into stroking away as she started to tell me this sort of stuff - that she said again how it really means a lot to her that I want her to be with Paul and that she shouldn't feel anything bad about enjoying him. As I was stroking away she leaned down next to me and said that "it really does turn me on baby that you aren't cumming in me" and she continued to tease me in this sexy voice that she loved watching me cum, whether it was all over my stomach or "filling a condom like you did on Saturday", she said that seeing my cum and knowing it's another load that didn't go in her was something that she said was turning her on more and more and after our talks, she now knows it's okay for her to let it continue.
Peak - you may be honored to know that I thought of you around this time and your question of whether my feelings about this are growing or receding. I told her that in a way it was kind of exciting to not know when things will change and she asked me what I was thinking and I told her that it really excited me to think about this becoming our "norm" and that while it scared me to think of maybe never feeling her pussy bare again, I told her that aside of that thought, that knowing I wasn't going to feel her at any time in the near future was just a crazy turn on - to know that every time I see her naked or whatever that I'm reminded and aroused by knowing I won't be feeling her. I noticed she'd started to rub her pussy right around then and she said that it really excited her that "my husband isn't fucking me" and that until our talk she'd herself been scared to think this way but then she leaned over next to me and cooed in my ear "but maybe it is something we should have fun with" (and I remembered her saying this in the past) and she teased me and said "come on baby, you can think of how I'll be with Paul tomorrow night baby....". So as I stroked away I told her about how I felt so aroused at everything I told her that mentally, I felt an incredible thrill at what I was doing and I told her "it turns me on that I want it" and she cooed and moved close to me and said again "it's okay baby, it's okay that it turns you on" and she said "I guess I know that don't I, maybe its' why it feels so good to me". Well, that did it, I started to really get into it and I knew I was almost there. I just let it out - I told her how it had turned me on to see Paul fuck her and to see and feel - through the condom - how wet and open he'd left her. I told her how her telling me how he feels in her had only turned me on even more and that "...I get this crazy intense turn on knowing how he cums in you...". And a second later the thoughts in my head got to me. I felt myself go stiff in the bed and if anything I stroked even more intensely and a second later I let things go. I tried to hold back and even thought about trying to stop and make it last longer but it felt so good to say what I had and my mind was just racing that I just let it go. I felt my eyes roll back in my head and then I felt my cock throb in my hand as I stroked it. I moaned out with each thick spurt and I kept stroking even after I'd stopped cumming - sometimes my cock gets too sensitive but not last night - even after I'd stopped cumming it still felt awesome with my hand being lubricated by my cum.
When I caught my breath she was breathing heavily herself and was kissing my forehead and cheek and telling me how hot I looked as I came and then she said "my god honey, there's so much". I looked up and I counted at least 6 or 7 clear spurts with a big puddle in my navel. I let her watch as this time, I reached down and I drew out the last thick drops as I ran my thumb up from way down below my balls up to the tip. And she surprised the heck out of me by suddenly leaning forward and licking it off before it dripped onto my stomach. Before I could respond, she moved up and kissed me passionately.
So, that's it - it's all out there now. I feel a little self-conscious about things and I even told her so this mornng. She hugged me and said she'd "take it easy" on me and didn't play up too much teasing about tonight other than to ask me repeatedly if I was going to be okay being on my own and asked if I thought I was going to "do it again tomorrow night" meaning me masturbating and I laughed for a moment and I told her that I don't think I'm going to have a choice with how I'll be feeling later tonight.
After cumming that hard last night, I'm already rock hard again after writing all of this.
I will say, it feels good to be more honest and open with her. It was very weird to do so but I have to say that it felt wonderful to be able to tell her that I truly don't want to cum in her right now.
I need to finish up some stuff for work today - haven't done much with trying to get all of my thoughts out, but I think last night and these last few days have been a watershed-event of sorts. I'm not sure if anything really has changed but at the same time, I know that I feel different.
Steve,
It's interesting to hear how Sue is seeing this. Although it is starting to look like you are being marginalised. Eroded away bit by bit as Paul seeps deeper into her life. It's happening so slowly you don't seem to see the danger as it's hidden by your excitement. But it is there. Just push this forward a year at this pace and ask yourself, who would Sue choose if she had to take only one? Today that would be you. A year on with more erosion there must be a doubt. And to those who would say it may end before that, what would make that happen? Nothing I can see.
Finally Steve, I wonder now just how much of all this detail Sue is sharing with Paul. They now have an awful lot of non sexual quality contact time. And a growing emotional bonding. Sue must be filling in the blanks for Paul and yet his comments to you are still those of a man who acts like he thinks he's very much on the fringe. Grateful to be temporarily invited. He's more than that now and he must know it. What does he think?
It's interesting to hear how Sue is seeing this. Although it is starting to look like you are being marginalised. Eroded away bit by bit as Paul seeps deeper into her life. It's happening so slowly you don't seem to see the danger as it's hidden by your excitement. But it is there. Just push this forward a year at this pace and ask yourself, who would Sue choose if she had to take only one? Today that would be you. A year on with more erosion there must be a doubt. And to those who would say it may end before that, what would make that happen? Nothing I can see.
Finally Steve, I wonder now just how much of all this detail Sue is sharing with Paul. They now have an awful lot of non sexual quality contact time. And a growing emotional bonding. Sue must be filling in the blanks for Paul and yet his comments to you are still those of a man who acts like he thinks he's very much on the fringe. Grateful to be temporarily invited. He's more than that now and he must know it. What does he think?
Well, I'm back from having some dinner and futzing around in the garage and am a bit self-conscious about all that I posted, but it feels good to read it and to see it in writing.
Peak - I may not have presented things sufficiently regarding her thoughts and feelings if I am projecting that I"m being marginalized. It really only is in bed that this is happening, outside there, there is little change - perhaps I should be writing more about that, but in general, things feel more balanced to me.
I do know that things are changing, slowly as you say, but I don't know that I see it as being her doing vs. my own doing and desires. I can't lie about it, for whatever crazy reason, I truly feel this intense deep satisfaction at what we're doing, or rather, what we're not doing. But I don't see the danger you see - or at least I have confidence that it isn't as dire as you, again perhaps because I am only presenting the sexual side of our relationship.
Regarding how much time she spends with Paul. It really isn't that much. Yes, tonight they have probably 6 hours together, maybe another 1-2 in the morning - and then she won't see him till this weekend when he will come here. So it really isn't that much time that they have - not if you consider they spend a lot of that time fucking.
That's one thing that I am seeing in her that in a way surprises me. With my convincing her that she can have this type of intense sex with him and her realizing she doesn't need to have all of her emotions involved to enjoy that, it's actually kind of suprising to see her not wanting more time with him but at the same time, it's rewarding that she isn't and actually, quite friggin' hot that she's into getting fucked since that really seems like what it is for both of them.
I actually am laughing because if he's enjoying fucking her the way I did for so long, then he now well knows why I never found a desire to step-out on her, his two nights a week with her and fucking her 3-4 times, I am quite sure Paul is well satisfied. Why would he ever want to give it up?
From what I get from Sue in terms of how Paul feels around me - he feels the same way as I feel about him only in reverse - that we both are enjoying him fucking Sue but that it's just awkward for us to talk about it. Sue says that we are alike in that way in that when we're alone with her, we both find it easy to talk - but when we're with others (as in he and I together) that it is awkward. I am sorry but I still find it awkward to talk to her lovers about sex with her. He and I talk pretty openly about most everything but when it comes to Sue, it's actually something I find comforting about him, that he feels much the same as I do about certain things. As far as what he thinks - all I can glean is that he understands he is Sue's main sexual partner right now and that he knows about what Sue and I are/aren't doing. Regarding his place in the relationship, I think he knows that Sue feels more strongly about him, much as he would in being her boyfriend. I don't believe he has any long-term plans for her other than wanting/hoping that he will continue to get to enjoy having sex with her.
Not sure that this answers all the questions and possibilities. But I'm going to click send now and keep busy till later...
Peak - I may not have presented things sufficiently regarding her thoughts and feelings if I am projecting that I"m being marginalized. It really only is in bed that this is happening, outside there, there is little change - perhaps I should be writing more about that, but in general, things feel more balanced to me.
I do know that things are changing, slowly as you say, but I don't know that I see it as being her doing vs. my own doing and desires. I can't lie about it, for whatever crazy reason, I truly feel this intense deep satisfaction at what we're doing, or rather, what we're not doing. But I don't see the danger you see - or at least I have confidence that it isn't as dire as you, again perhaps because I am only presenting the sexual side of our relationship.
Regarding how much time she spends with Paul. It really isn't that much. Yes, tonight they have probably 6 hours together, maybe another 1-2 in the morning - and then she won't see him till this weekend when he will come here. So it really isn't that much time that they have - not if you consider they spend a lot of that time fucking.
That's one thing that I am seeing in her that in a way surprises me. With my convincing her that she can have this type of intense sex with him and her realizing she doesn't need to have all of her emotions involved to enjoy that, it's actually kind of suprising to see her not wanting more time with him but at the same time, it's rewarding that she isn't and actually, quite friggin' hot that she's into getting fucked since that really seems like what it is for both of them.
I actually am laughing because if he's enjoying fucking her the way I did for so long, then he now well knows why I never found a desire to step-out on her, his two nights a week with her and fucking her 3-4 times, I am quite sure Paul is well satisfied. Why would he ever want to give it up?
From what I get from Sue in terms of how Paul feels around me - he feels the same way as I feel about him only in reverse - that we both are enjoying him fucking Sue but that it's just awkward for us to talk about it. Sue says that we are alike in that way in that when we're alone with her, we both find it easy to talk - but when we're with others (as in he and I together) that it is awkward. I am sorry but I still find it awkward to talk to her lovers about sex with her. He and I talk pretty openly about most everything but when it comes to Sue, it's actually something I find comforting about him, that he feels much the same as I do about certain things. As far as what he thinks - all I can glean is that he understands he is Sue's main sexual partner right now and that he knows about what Sue and I are/aren't doing. Regarding his place in the relationship, I think he knows that Sue feels more strongly about him, much as he would in being her boyfriend. I don't believe he has any long-term plans for her other than wanting/hoping that he will continue to get to enjoy having sex with her.
Not sure that this answers all the questions and possibilities. But I'm going to click send now and keep busy till later...
Steve incredible recap. You and Sue have an incredible relationship and your journey has been epic.
When I read your recaps and hear / read your exchanges with Sue I hear a woman who is truly trying to give you the beta experience you said you wanted but I also hear a woman who has subtly hinted that she wishes for you to give it up.
If you look at the course of the last 9 almost 10 months since you gave up bare with Sue with the exception of a few times she has made references to "when you give up this beta thing" numerous times and the almost daily questioning if you still want this. Her tactics have changed many times. First is seemed like some light humiliation early in the year with her telling him somethings that you were not ready for her to do and on the ski trip making that comment about "must you" when you looked at her in the shower. Then there was a long stretch of denial followed by the plan to make special weekend trips to reconnect bare because she and you both felt you needed that. Almost immediately after that the "New Norm" was set in place with her bringing up several times how her sister and BIL never fuck without a condom and maybe that is what you guys should do. On your family trip she told you that she didn't make love with you because you couldn't make her feel like a woman because of the condom and not being able to cum in her. Now she tells you that he is better and she wants him more than you and she loves him (kind of) and there are plenty of other examples.
There is no denying that she enjoys the sex with Paul and that she still wants to be with him but it seems to me that she would probably prefer to have her husband as well. I think her thought was that this was going to go on a while and it would ultimately reignite the smoking hot passion that you guys had for years and that one day your pressure to have her would force you to take her wildly and passionately make love to her like you did when you first meet.
Now maybe your desire to deny yourself and live this beta life will simply not let you do that but I also think it makes you blind to some of the signs and signals she has been putting out. I think the risk here could be that if she really needs what she can't get from you and she doesn't think she can or will get those from you that she turn to those who are willing to give that. Maybe Paul does like the arrangement now of a couple times a week but how long before the might decide that all the time might be even better.
I could be completely wrong but just some observations. As always I wish you'll the best.
When I read your recaps and hear / read your exchanges with Sue I hear a woman who is truly trying to give you the beta experience you said you wanted but I also hear a woman who has subtly hinted that she wishes for you to give it up.
If you look at the course of the last 9 almost 10 months since you gave up bare with Sue with the exception of a few times she has made references to "when you give up this beta thing" numerous times and the almost daily questioning if you still want this. Her tactics have changed many times. First is seemed like some light humiliation early in the year with her telling him somethings that you were not ready for her to do and on the ski trip making that comment about "must you" when you looked at her in the shower. Then there was a long stretch of denial followed by the plan to make special weekend trips to reconnect bare because she and you both felt you needed that. Almost immediately after that the "New Norm" was set in place with her bringing up several times how her sister and BIL never fuck without a condom and maybe that is what you guys should do. On your family trip she told you that she didn't make love with you because you couldn't make her feel like a woman because of the condom and not being able to cum in her. Now she tells you that he is better and she wants him more than you and she loves him (kind of) and there are plenty of other examples.
There is no denying that she enjoys the sex with Paul and that she still wants to be with him but it seems to me that she would probably prefer to have her husband as well. I think her thought was that this was going to go on a while and it would ultimately reignite the smoking hot passion that you guys had for years and that one day your pressure to have her would force you to take her wildly and passionately make love to her like you did when you first meet.
Now maybe your desire to deny yourself and live this beta life will simply not let you do that but I also think it makes you blind to some of the signs and signals she has been putting out. I think the risk here could be that if she really needs what she can't get from you and she doesn't think she can or will get those from you that she turn to those who are willing to give that. Maybe Paul does like the arrangement now of a couple times a week but how long before the might decide that all the time might be even better.
I could be completely wrong but just some observations. As always I wish you'll the best.
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Golf - I can see your point. I guess I owe her a thank you for putting up with my beta desires right now and maybe this is her making the best of it with a capable lover.
It will likely sound crazy but I enjoyed last night alone. I think what I liked most was that she knows how I feel, almost completely now. Whether that changes anything with her and Paul, I don't know but for me, I feel kind of elated that we are at this point. I wish I could explain it more but as I lay in bed with a huge hardon last night I spent some time just stroking it slowly and thinking about how truly aroused I feel at it all. I loved feeling how big and hard my cock was at thinking about where she was and what she was likely doing at that time.
I know that I am her husband and if what you're saying Golf is true, maybe her statements about "if you ever need me" are he way of saying that she wants me to need her that way - that's possible. And yet at the same time, she glows when she talks about sex with Paul and seems to very much be into continuing our denial. I'm not sure that's an act and I'm not sure it's something she's doing to accelerate our return to 'normal'.
Am I wishing that I wasn't so turned on by all of this, sometimes yes. And I think that's where my sense of reluctance or hesitation comes from. I admit that sometimes I wish other things turned me on like this, but so far nothing else seems to do it.
It will likely sound crazy but I enjoyed last night alone. I think what I liked most was that she knows how I feel, almost completely now. Whether that changes anything with her and Paul, I don't know but for me, I feel kind of elated that we are at this point. I wish I could explain it more but as I lay in bed with a huge hardon last night I spent some time just stroking it slowly and thinking about how truly aroused I feel at it all. I loved feeling how big and hard my cock was at thinking about where she was and what she was likely doing at that time.
I know that I am her husband and if what you're saying Golf is true, maybe her statements about "if you ever need me" are he way of saying that she wants me to need her that way - that's possible. And yet at the same time, she glows when she talks about sex with Paul and seems to very much be into continuing our denial. I'm not sure that's an act and I'm not sure it's something she's doing to accelerate our return to 'normal'.
Am I wishing that I wasn't so turned on by all of this, sometimes yes. And I think that's where my sense of reluctance or hesitation comes from. I admit that sometimes I wish other things turned me on like this, but so far nothing else seems to do it.
Steve,
There is one obvious way to determine just what Sue may or may not be hinting at. Ask her. Again and again you have reported her asking you whether you are sure this is what you want. Asked in different ways and at different times of arousal. I can't recall you reporting you asking her the same question with quite the same force and repetition.
There is one obvious way to determine just what Sue may or may not be hinting at. Ask her. Again and again you have reported her asking you whether you are sure this is what you want. Asked in different ways and at different times of arousal. I can't recall you reporting you asking her the same question with quite the same force and repetition.
Well, Sue is a little annoyed that she is waiting for Paul while he's out playing golf. Made me laugh a little bit to see her being the one to be waiting. She asked me if he could come here for dinner tonight and whether we could all be okay with each other. She said she'd been talking to Paul a bit more now about me, especially after last weekend. I asked her what he thought of me and he told her that he could see I was really turned on by it and she said that he even said it was kind of fun to share like that. She then answered my obvious question in that he thought if it really turns me on that it's cool that I use condoms and then she said that he really does like that he's the only one cumming in her.
When she came home from work yesterday, I know it's going to sound cliche here but there is really no doubt in my mind how she felt in my arms and what I felt back from her. Lying in bed last night, spooned up with her, we talked a bit more and she said totally openly that she'd loved the sex with him and that he'd made her feel awesome, but she turned to look towards me and said that it never feels like it does when we are together and that she loved me.
Peak - I asked her right then - I told her that I knew she'd told me if I ever needed to have her that I could and then I looked at her and told her the reverse was true too, if the wanted me, that I would always be there for her. She pulled me close and kissed me, with her lower half still spooned she and I turned so we faced each other and she said that she knew I would be and she felt my hard cock and said "just like right now". She pulled me to her and I already knew what she was going to say "....mmmm, but not right now....". I kissed her and I told her that all she had to do was ask or tell me. She turned back and pulled me even tighter into a spoon with her and she murmured that she always knows that and then she said "mmmm, are you going to want to join us tomorrow?" (meaning today). We talked for a moment and she said that as long as it was at the right time and that it felt right with her and Paul, that I was welcome to join in like last time. Before I said anything though she added "but baby, there are going to be times when I'd rather you didn't. is that going to be okay?". I held her and kissed the back of her neck and told her yes.
I wish I could find the words to say how horny I feel inside at what is going on. I know there are a lot of gloom and doomers out there and that's where I wish I could figure out how to say how close we feel and how together we feel when we have moments like that last night. She could feel how hard my cock was the whole time and it just felt so good to be able to talk like that and to let her know how horny I feel and to hear her tell me how she feels is just amazing.
As of now he isn't spending the night, but I know that can always change at the last minute.
When she came home from work yesterday, I know it's going to sound cliche here but there is really no doubt in my mind how she felt in my arms and what I felt back from her. Lying in bed last night, spooned up with her, we talked a bit more and she said totally openly that she'd loved the sex with him and that he'd made her feel awesome, but she turned to look towards me and said that it never feels like it does when we are together and that she loved me.
Peak - I asked her right then - I told her that I knew she'd told me if I ever needed to have her that I could and then I looked at her and told her the reverse was true too, if the wanted me, that I would always be there for her. She pulled me close and kissed me, with her lower half still spooned she and I turned so we faced each other and she said that she knew I would be and she felt my hard cock and said "just like right now". She pulled me to her and I already knew what she was going to say "....mmmm, but not right now....". I kissed her and I told her that all she had to do was ask or tell me. She turned back and pulled me even tighter into a spoon with her and she murmured that she always knows that and then she said "mmmm, are you going to want to join us tomorrow?" (meaning today). We talked for a moment and she said that as long as it was at the right time and that it felt right with her and Paul, that I was welcome to join in like last time. Before I said anything though she added "but baby, there are going to be times when I'd rather you didn't. is that going to be okay?". I held her and kissed the back of her neck and told her yes.
I wish I could find the words to say how horny I feel inside at what is going on. I know there are a lot of gloom and doomers out there and that's where I wish I could figure out how to say how close we feel and how together we feel when we have moments like that last night. She could feel how hard my cock was the whole time and it just felt so good to be able to talk like that and to let her know how horny I feel and to hear her tell me how she feels is just amazing.
As of now he isn't spending the night, but I know that can always change at the last minute.
So sweet that you get to experience this to its fullest. Having paul as her lover seems perfect. A better lover than you, but not necessarily a danger, a wife that loves you and encourages you but still wants things for herself. Sounds perfect. I hope you take her advice and let them have some of the nights at your house to themselves. Would you be okay if she asked you to clean her up after they finish and Paul is still laying there stroking her?
Steve,
Thanks for the many updates this past week. I have so many thoughts. Especially "OUCH" that must have hurt to hear he say she actually prefers sex with Paul over you. It may be what your beta desires lead to, but up until then you had some control over it (could pull the plug if you wanted.). Now that Paul has captured her sexual desires you have lost control and are a true beta rather than playing with beta desires.
Thanks for the many updates this past week. I have so many thoughts. Especially "OUCH" that must have hurt to hear he say she actually prefers sex with Paul over you. It may be what your beta desires lead to, but up until then you had some control over it (could pull the plug if you wanted.). Now that Paul has captured her sexual desires you have lost control and are a true beta rather than playing with beta desires.
Knk, you may be correct, but right now it's so where I want to be. I had an awesome time with them both last night. It started out as a bit of a surprise and almost felt like a setup in some ways. Paul arrived about 6:30pm and I already had the barbeque going. He brought 3 bottles of wine "just in case" and Sue was pretty eager for the first glass.
We sat around in the den talking for a while before heading up to the kitchen to put the steaks on the grill. The conversation was pretty idle at first with him talking about his golf-game and Sue feigning interest. It was over dinner as we just started eating when Paul said that he wanted to ask me something. I could tell by Sue's face that she was expecting this and he looked at me and said something like "Steve, I was wondering what you thought of this idea I had?". I had no idea what he was talking about until he said "I have this golf-tournament in South Carolina in another 2 weeks and I was wondering what you'd say if I asked you if you would be okay with Sue joining me?". I was kind of surprised but the way he said it, it was like he was in high-school asking me permission to date my daughter. I ahemed for a moment and shifted around in my seat but I calmly asked him when it was and he said it's the weekend of October 10-11 and that he thought they might go down on Friday and come back on Monday.
It was kind of amazing that he just came out and asked me and after I had my surprise and re-focused, I looked over at Sue and I said "you knew?" and she nodded and then added that she wasn't sure of the right time to ask me and then she said that "Paul said he'd just come out and ask you, so here we are." I asked her "you want to go?" and she smiled and nodded and extended one hand to me and one to Paul and as she held both our hands she said "I want this to be good for both of you" and then she said that "Paul and I could use a little alone time, don't you think?".
It was awkward for just a moment and then I just said in my head "fuck it, just go with it" and I looked at them both and said "I don't see why not". Paul smiled and said "that's great, thanks man, you are the best" and he immediately added "... don't worry about a thing, I will take good care of her ..." to which I smiled and as I passed some of the food around I said "that's what I expected".
It seemed like maybe the ice was finally broken with this conversation. All during dinner Sue asked him questions about what they'd do for dinner and what she'd do during the daytime while he was golfing. He told her she could do anything - a massage at the spa, shopping or if the weather was really warm, maybe lying out and getting some sun. He told her about restaurants he wanted to take her to and as he started to say something to her he looked at me and said "are you okay if I introduce her to some of my friends as my girlfriend?". I admit it made me swallow hard but I said "yeah, okay I guess" to which Sue replied "it'll be fun for us (Paul and her) to be able to do some stuff together". It was me that asked what hotel they'd be at and he mentioned a Marriott and said that he'd likely get a suite.
I have to admit it was incredibly erotic to hear them openly talking about planning their trip together. Sue looked at me several times and I knew she wanted to make sure I was okay with everything and wasn't just going along with it but I told her that it sounded like fun and it was her that suggested that maybe I'd go up and visit one of my college buddies if I didn't want to stay home. I told her I'd think about it.
We didn't talk openly about sex with her, but the innuendo was surely in the air.
We sat around in the den talking for a while before heading up to the kitchen to put the steaks on the grill. The conversation was pretty idle at first with him talking about his golf-game and Sue feigning interest. It was over dinner as we just started eating when Paul said that he wanted to ask me something. I could tell by Sue's face that she was expecting this and he looked at me and said something like "Steve, I was wondering what you thought of this idea I had?". I had no idea what he was talking about until he said "I have this golf-tournament in South Carolina in another 2 weeks and I was wondering what you'd say if I asked you if you would be okay with Sue joining me?". I was kind of surprised but the way he said it, it was like he was in high-school asking me permission to date my daughter. I ahemed for a moment and shifted around in my seat but I calmly asked him when it was and he said it's the weekend of October 10-11 and that he thought they might go down on Friday and come back on Monday.
It was kind of amazing that he just came out and asked me and after I had my surprise and re-focused, I looked over at Sue and I said "you knew?" and she nodded and then added that she wasn't sure of the right time to ask me and then she said that "Paul said he'd just come out and ask you, so here we are." I asked her "you want to go?" and she smiled and nodded and extended one hand to me and one to Paul and as she held both our hands she said "I want this to be good for both of you" and then she said that "Paul and I could use a little alone time, don't you think?".
It was awkward for just a moment and then I just said in my head "fuck it, just go with it" and I looked at them both and said "I don't see why not". Paul smiled and said "that's great, thanks man, you are the best" and he immediately added "... don't worry about a thing, I will take good care of her ..." to which I smiled and as I passed some of the food around I said "that's what I expected".
It seemed like maybe the ice was finally broken with this conversation. All during dinner Sue asked him questions about what they'd do for dinner and what she'd do during the daytime while he was golfing. He told her she could do anything - a massage at the spa, shopping or if the weather was really warm, maybe lying out and getting some sun. He told her about restaurants he wanted to take her to and as he started to say something to her he looked at me and said "are you okay if I introduce her to some of my friends as my girlfriend?". I admit it made me swallow hard but I said "yeah, okay I guess" to which Sue replied "it'll be fun for us (Paul and her) to be able to do some stuff together". It was me that asked what hotel they'd be at and he mentioned a Marriott and said that he'd likely get a suite.
I have to admit it was incredibly erotic to hear them openly talking about planning their trip together. Sue looked at me several times and I knew she wanted to make sure I was okay with everything and wasn't just going along with it but I told her that it sounded like fun and it was her that suggested that maybe I'd go up and visit one of my college buddies if I didn't want to stay home. I told her I'd think about it.
We didn't talk openly about sex with her, but the innuendo was surely in the air.
I'm glad you are where you want to be. That is great.
I've been meaning to post and ask you about what Sue does with her wedding ring when she sees Paul. I remember that he had noticed her coming in to Panera with rings one day and other days without. That led to him approaching her, and as they say, the rest is history. Does she go without them when she is staying over?
I also remember you and Sue had sort of a ceremony when she went on a vacation with Don or Frank. You would take the rings off and keep them so she could go and be presented as his girlfriend. Do you think you will do that again? It's probably a good idea since he wants to show her off as a girlfriend. I hope the trip doesn't lead to the beginning of the end like it did before.
Do you have a sense whether the idea to join Paul on the trip was his or hers? The answer may be very revealing about how deep they each feel about the relationship. My sense is that Sue suggested going along when Paul mentioned his trip. Just a hunch based on her nervousness about asking you. Either way they should have lots of fun and you will have a lot of angst.
I've been meaning to post and ask you about what Sue does with her wedding ring when she sees Paul. I remember that he had noticed her coming in to Panera with rings one day and other days without. That led to him approaching her, and as they say, the rest is history. Does she go without them when she is staying over?
I also remember you and Sue had sort of a ceremony when she went on a vacation with Don or Frank. You would take the rings off and keep them so she could go and be presented as his girlfriend. Do you think you will do that again? It's probably a good idea since he wants to show her off as a girlfriend. I hope the trip doesn't lead to the beginning of the end like it did before.
Do you have a sense whether the idea to join Paul on the trip was his or hers? The answer may be very revealing about how deep they each feel about the relationship. My sense is that Sue suggested going along when Paul mentioned his trip. Just a hunch based on her nervousness about asking you. Either way they should have lots of fun and you will have a lot of angst.
Knk - I had thought I'd continue last night but you asked so I thought I'd answer. She stopped wearing her rings that summer when she was taking a photography class at a night-school. She was between boyfriends and thinking back now, she thought it'd be easier to find someone to have fun with if they thought she wasn't married. But as I would get to, we talked about this earlier today and she said that she would likely leave her rings at home when she goes on Paul's golf trip. We did have a bit of a ceremony which mainly involved me removing them, something that still makes me horny to think about doing, I'd say it's probable that we'll do that again. I do not have any idea who suggested her joining him, as you said, interesting things to think about with either answer.
Back to last night though, as I said, it felt like the ice had been broken a bit and as we sat around drinking another glass of wine Sue came out of the kitchen and sat on Pauls lap and started to kiss him. When the kiss ended he looked at me and I guess I was in a bit of a daydream because he said something that i missed but it ended with ".... you don't mind her doing this, do you?". And it just felt good to finally say to him, I think without even taking a second to really think about it I just said "no, turns me on to see her with you". And while she sat on his lap with his hand under her top against her back caressing her he said something like "it's really nice that you don't mind....".
We'd put some music on earlier and as we sipped at the glass of wine she leaned back and sort of swayed with him to whatever was playing. We talked about the music (a new John Oates song if you are interested) and other stuff for a bit longer and then the conversation went back towards sex. Paul was the first one to say something and he said that Sue's skin felt so warm and soft and she giggled that she liked feeling his hands on her. She was sitting there facing me and I looked at her and saw the smile on her face but then I looked down and saw that her nipples were sticking out like little pebbles under her tight top and I knew she didn't have a bra on. No sooner did she say she liked his hands did I add something like "I can tell from your shirt!".
Back to last night though, as I said, it felt like the ice had been broken a bit and as we sat around drinking another glass of wine Sue came out of the kitchen and sat on Pauls lap and started to kiss him. When the kiss ended he looked at me and I guess I was in a bit of a daydream because he said something that i missed but it ended with ".... you don't mind her doing this, do you?". And it just felt good to finally say to him, I think without even taking a second to really think about it I just said "no, turns me on to see her with you". And while she sat on his lap with his hand under her top against her back caressing her he said something like "it's really nice that you don't mind....".
We'd put some music on earlier and as we sipped at the glass of wine she leaned back and sort of swayed with him to whatever was playing. We talked about the music (a new John Oates song if you are interested) and other stuff for a bit longer and then the conversation went back towards sex. Paul was the first one to say something and he said that Sue's skin felt so warm and soft and she giggled that she liked feeling his hands on her. She was sitting there facing me and I looked at her and saw the smile on her face but then I looked down and saw that her nipples were sticking out like little pebbles under her tight top and I knew she didn't have a bra on. No sooner did she say she liked his hands did I add something like "I can tell from your shirt!".
- Status
