Pain and pleasure of waiting for her
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
STB, Thanks for the compliment. I just know you’ve been waiting to get back at me ever since I said:
“I agree with Sue that "You are crazy" Crazy to let your beautiful wife that is obviously in love with you, get so involved with a man that she is admittedly tempted to stay.”
You just don’t know how ‘Crazy’ I am about your ‘Story’. Check this out:
STB:6.27.2007
First Post: Wife offered me a birthday present:
“”I have been lurking here and elsewhere for ages, living in fantasy of my wife finally giving in to the desires she denies herself as well as fulfilling my wishes too. It's been years since we first discussed it, and we came close a few times but to date, for the past 25 years, it's only been my cock & cum in her.
My birthday is in August but she said that between now and then I can request my present at any time I am ready.
That present is a 24 hour period when she will unconditionally give her body to me to use as I see fit. I was stunned but she continued, "you just tell me what to do and I will do it without questioning it.” And after a short pause she added "Just so we're clear what I’m offering as your present, for one full day you can do whatever you like to me or with me.” I started to smile and she said as clear as day "You can finally live out your wildest fantasy, if you want another guy to fuck me, just make sure he's healthy if he's going to cum in me".
All I could say was "Are you serious?” And she replied "This is your one chance, pretend I'm your fuck-toy for the night and live out your fantasies before you turn 50". "Any fantasy”? She smiled back and said "Honey, if you can arrange that gang bang you've always dreamed of, I'll be fine with it". She laughed for a second and added 'Just be sure of yourself too, I just might enjoy it you know!".”
I have taken the time to Go back to the very beginning To be able to understand who you are and what you benefit from this whole adventure. That first post has helped tremendously in that regard. Before I read the beginning, I was very critical of how you were proceeding and what it seemed you were ‘pushing’ Sue into. After reading it all, I only have the highest regard for Sue in assisting you fulfill yours and her desires for sexual adventure. I suspect that very few, if any of the men that contribute to this web site can be comfortable that his wife will not let emotional entanglement destroy their marriage. You, Steve & Sue are unique, and that is why ‘your story’ is so fascinating, that you have me and several others, reading back to the beginning.
Without going into details that would only take up space in your thread, I am truly envious of you and Sue’s relationship that allows you and her to experience this kind of ‘openness’ in your marriage.
When I first found this site, I thought I would be on this path, and wanted to get some ‘pointers’ up front. That wasn't necessary, but it still is very stimulating to read your story and others. I shall, if you will entertain me, send you a PM explaining what I mean by that.
Personally, I am glad that Sue has decided to “not see Don anymore”. I have always felt,while reading your posts, that you were never comfortable with him, would have never chosen him, and that he represented more of a threat to your relationship with Sue than Brad did.
BTW, if you are looking “someone we know” to continue on as Sue’s ‘Fuck Buddy’ How about her first: (The man named ‘Bill’ that she met and fucked while at that training class back in April of 2008) If he lives nearby and is available and still interested, he just may be an excellent choice.
Cheers, Harry
“I agree with Sue that "You are crazy" Crazy to let your beautiful wife that is obviously in love with you, get so involved with a man that she is admittedly tempted to stay.”
You just don’t know how ‘Crazy’ I am about your ‘Story’. Check this out:
STB:6.27.2007
First Post: Wife offered me a birthday present:
“”I have been lurking here and elsewhere for ages, living in fantasy of my wife finally giving in to the desires she denies herself as well as fulfilling my wishes too. It's been years since we first discussed it, and we came close a few times but to date, for the past 25 years, it's only been my cock & cum in her.
My birthday is in August but she said that between now and then I can request my present at any time I am ready.
That present is a 24 hour period when she will unconditionally give her body to me to use as I see fit. I was stunned but she continued, "you just tell me what to do and I will do it without questioning it.” And after a short pause she added "Just so we're clear what I’m offering as your present, for one full day you can do whatever you like to me or with me.” I started to smile and she said as clear as day "You can finally live out your wildest fantasy, if you want another guy to fuck me, just make sure he's healthy if he's going to cum in me".
All I could say was "Are you serious?” And she replied "This is your one chance, pretend I'm your fuck-toy for the night and live out your fantasies before you turn 50". "Any fantasy”? She smiled back and said "Honey, if you can arrange that gang bang you've always dreamed of, I'll be fine with it". She laughed for a second and added 'Just be sure of yourself too, I just might enjoy it you know!".”
I have taken the time to Go back to the very beginning To be able to understand who you are and what you benefit from this whole adventure. That first post has helped tremendously in that regard. Before I read the beginning, I was very critical of how you were proceeding and what it seemed you were ‘pushing’ Sue into. After reading it all, I only have the highest regard for Sue in assisting you fulfill yours and her desires for sexual adventure. I suspect that very few, if any of the men that contribute to this web site can be comfortable that his wife will not let emotional entanglement destroy their marriage. You, Steve & Sue are unique, and that is why ‘your story’ is so fascinating, that you have me and several others, reading back to the beginning.
Without going into details that would only take up space in your thread, I am truly envious of you and Sue’s relationship that allows you and her to experience this kind of ‘openness’ in your marriage.
When I first found this site, I thought I would be on this path, and wanted to get some ‘pointers’ up front. That wasn't necessary, but it still is very stimulating to read your story and others. I shall, if you will entertain me, send you a PM explaining what I mean by that.
Personally, I am glad that Sue has decided to “not see Don anymore”. I have always felt,while reading your posts, that you were never comfortable with him, would have never chosen him, and that he represented more of a threat to your relationship with Sue than Brad did.
BTW, if you are looking “someone we know” to continue on as Sue’s ‘Fuck Buddy’ How about her first: (The man named ‘Bill’ that she met and fucked while at that training class back in April of 2008) If he lives nearby and is available and still interested, he just may be an excellent choice.
Cheers, Harry
It is a strange feeling to be home and to know Sue is out with our daughter shopping right now and not with Don as she would normally be on a Friday night. She hasn't opened up other than to say that she "gave him so much and yet it wasn't enough". I asked her what she meant and she said that she was still thinking about it all and then she kissed me and said she'd be ready to talk soon. I bought 2 bottles of wine and I suspect that by the time we get through them both either tonight or tomorrow night, that she'll feel better about talking about it (that's the hope!).
Harry - your suggestion about that guy Bill was a good one but she only knew him from that class and I do not believe he's anywhere around us - I don't even know if she knows if he was married or not too.
You know - I will have to go back and re-read those first posts of mine here. I did take the time to save them. Reading what you found Harry, wow, it really brought back memories. That was 3 years ago now.
Peak - you talked about how we must feel differently about each other now. We do. I know for me, I feel a much deeper connection with her - I think for me it's put sex in our marriage in a different place than it was, I think, a better place. I think what it did was to maybe bring back the fun in sex in a way. I know it has re-stoked the fires that we both felt for each other - strange how sharing her with another guy has made me appreciate and love her even more. I feel the same in return. We can talk about anything now so freely and openly. It's really an amazing feeling - perhaps it's to know that neither of us will run off even at the most extreme thing. Sort of puts the rest of life in a different light.
I saw that Radical-guy posted an update where he's getting his wife back together with her lover - knowing she will continue to not have sex with him until she tires of her lover. Everyone here knows that the idea of that is a turn-on for me, but I could never do it for the duration that they do. But for me, I like knowing that Sue couldn't do that either. To me that is something that I had always felt I believed in about her and to see her affirm that so spontaneously as she did, how can it not make me feel good about her and us! But to each his own and if it truly works for Rad and Brenda - then great for them too.
Harry - feel free to send me that PM if you like, or feel free to post it here if you are okay about sharing it amongst all of us.
I hear Sue pulling in now so I'm going to say adieu.
Harry - your suggestion about that guy Bill was a good one but she only knew him from that class and I do not believe he's anywhere around us - I don't even know if she knows if he was married or not too.
You know - I will have to go back and re-read those first posts of mine here. I did take the time to save them. Reading what you found Harry, wow, it really brought back memories. That was 3 years ago now.
Peak - you talked about how we must feel differently about each other now. We do. I know for me, I feel a much deeper connection with her - I think for me it's put sex in our marriage in a different place than it was, I think, a better place. I think what it did was to maybe bring back the fun in sex in a way. I know it has re-stoked the fires that we both felt for each other - strange how sharing her with another guy has made me appreciate and love her even more. I feel the same in return. We can talk about anything now so freely and openly. It's really an amazing feeling - perhaps it's to know that neither of us will run off even at the most extreme thing. Sort of puts the rest of life in a different light.
I saw that Radical-guy posted an update where he's getting his wife back together with her lover - knowing she will continue to not have sex with him until she tires of her lover. Everyone here knows that the idea of that is a turn-on for me, but I could never do it for the duration that they do. But for me, I like knowing that Sue couldn't do that either. To me that is something that I had always felt I believed in about her and to see her affirm that so spontaneously as she did, how can it not make me feel good about her and us! But to each his own and if it truly works for Rad and Brenda - then great for them too.
Harry - feel free to send me that PM if you like, or feel free to post it here if you are okay about sharing it amongst all of us.
I hear Sue pulling in now so I'm going to say adieu.
STB, I will do that. I will send you a PM. It is more personal than I would want to put on here. You might remember that I started a thread about a year ago called "New experience", but I don't want to take up room on your thread with my story. I've seen others doing that and it's distracting. It won't be tonight or tomorrow, but Sunday night or Monday is more likely.
I would suppose that Sue will never again get so deep into a sexual affair that she will get emotionally involved like she did with Don & Brad. She just won't let it go that far. So as you said, Some one who is enough a friend to respect you and Sue's boundrys will be best.
Cheers, Harry
I would suppose that Sue will never again get so deep into a sexual affair that she will get emotionally involved like she did with Don & Brad. She just won't let it go that far. So as you said, Some one who is enough a friend to respect you and Sue's boundrys will be best.
Cheers, Harry
Geez, go away for a week and wow! What a shame but it looks like everyone jumped the gun at don's house. Stb it's all your fault 
just kidding! You couldn't wait to get your hands on your wife in don's domain...that is his pussy! And don, if he would have just played along and in time he would have gotten what he wanted bit by bit...he let the little head beat the big head. I can't wait to see what sue brings up but maybe everyone just needs sometime to get their heads straight and Don could come back...or maybe not! Go get some black dick for sue to try!
just kidding! You couldn't wait to get your hands on your wife in don's domain...that is his pussy! And don, if he would have just played along and in time he would have gotten what he wanted bit by bit...he let the little head beat the big head. I can't wait to see what sue brings up but maybe everyone just needs sometime to get their heads straight and Don could come back...or maybe not! Go get some black dick for sue to try!Over Reaction
Mr Soon, I apologize for suggesting you shoot Don in the face with a pistol. In retrospect I feel that might be a bit harsh. Have you considered the possibility that Sue may have well instigated Dons behavior? She knew that hearing anything about you all really got him going. Perhaps the adventure made her realize that he was not her type and she valued you even more. What is the latest? Thank you
Mr Soon, I apologize for suggesting you shoot Don in the face with a pistol. In retrospect I feel that might be a bit harsh. Have you considered the possibility that Sue may have well instigated Dons behavior? She knew that hearing anything about you all really got him going. Perhaps the adventure made her realize that he was not her type and she valued you even more. What is the latest? Thank you
I agree to being 'crazy'!
You say I’m crazy for going back to the beginning of your 1st. Thread, but when you sent Sue off on that business class trip with condoms in her purse, and she connected with Bill I got excited right along with you. And when she spent most of the night with him and you couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep either. I have been that much connected with your ‘experience’ that I have laid awake some nights thinking what I would write to you next. Of course I missed the mark many times because I was just not thinking like you were, I had My own programing to deal with. When I took the time to read it all, I was able to understand you better than some other poster/advisers on this site.
As I said, you can go back to my own “New experience” but I haven’t updated it in a long while. What I didn’t include in my story, was that at the time,(Sept 2009) I was going through radiation and hormone therapy for prostate cancer. 42 radiation treatments & 6 mo. of lupron (testosterone blocker). Well that ended in Feb. 2010, but it explains my wife’s sexual interest in our friend. (she was thinking sex with me would be over) That whole affair was a lot of sexually stimulating E mails (both ways) and the one time sensual massage and oral sex he gave her at his home. She did not even reciprocate. Then his wife apparently got into his e mail while he was on a business trip and he dropped out of the picture real quick.
The good thing is that my wife aquired a renewed interest in sex and I could at least give her really good oral orgasm’s. When my urologist prescribed TRI-MIX for me, it was wonderful. Then I would literally have 3 hr. Erections that she could do anything she wanted with and did. It was better than the 3 yr. period before the cancer diagnosis.
Now with the hormone blocker wearing off, I am often feeling like a ‘teenager’ again with spontaneous night and morning erections. I still use a small amount of Tri-mix just to assure that I ‘stay up’ for her.
Her desire for sex has gone back to pre-affair, but our 2-5 times a month love sessions are a lot better than before, and We are experiencing the same post-affair romance and respect for each other that you describe has enriched your love life with Sue and her with you.
I’m not disappointed that she did not carry through with her ‘almost affair’, although I did expect, with some internal turmoil, that she would (hence my fascination with your story). I still think I would really get ‘turned on’ by watching her with another man and then having ‘my turn’ then cleaning up after, But she says she is very satisfied with what we have, and won’t look for another male friend. I tease her about it though.
There are some aspects of her experience with ‘the friend’ that she has finally told me this past June while we were on a camping trip together,10 months later. Although it was only Sensual massage and oral sex, there was a strong emotional component. So I am not surprised that Sue has not ‘opened up’ to further explain her ‘break-up’ with Don. She will have to have some ‘grieving’ time.
Cheers, Harry
You say I’m crazy for going back to the beginning of your 1st. Thread, but when you sent Sue off on that business class trip with condoms in her purse, and she connected with Bill I got excited right along with you. And when she spent most of the night with him and you couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep either. I have been that much connected with your ‘experience’ that I have laid awake some nights thinking what I would write to you next. Of course I missed the mark many times because I was just not thinking like you were, I had My own programing to deal with. When I took the time to read it all, I was able to understand you better than some other poster/advisers on this site.
As I said, you can go back to my own “New experience” but I haven’t updated it in a long while. What I didn’t include in my story, was that at the time,(Sept 2009) I was going through radiation and hormone therapy for prostate cancer. 42 radiation treatments & 6 mo. of lupron (testosterone blocker). Well that ended in Feb. 2010, but it explains my wife’s sexual interest in our friend. (she was thinking sex with me would be over) That whole affair was a lot of sexually stimulating E mails (both ways) and the one time sensual massage and oral sex he gave her at his home. She did not even reciprocate. Then his wife apparently got into his e mail while he was on a business trip and he dropped out of the picture real quick.
The good thing is that my wife aquired a renewed interest in sex and I could at least give her really good oral orgasm’s. When my urologist prescribed TRI-MIX for me, it was wonderful. Then I would literally have 3 hr. Erections that she could do anything she wanted with and did. It was better than the 3 yr. period before the cancer diagnosis.
Now with the hormone blocker wearing off, I am often feeling like a ‘teenager’ again with spontaneous night and morning erections. I still use a small amount of Tri-mix just to assure that I ‘stay up’ for her.
Her desire for sex has gone back to pre-affair, but our 2-5 times a month love sessions are a lot better than before, and We are experiencing the same post-affair romance and respect for each other that you describe has enriched your love life with Sue and her with you.
I’m not disappointed that she did not carry through with her ‘almost affair’, although I did expect, with some internal turmoil, that she would (hence my fascination with your story). I still think I would really get ‘turned on’ by watching her with another man and then having ‘my turn’ then cleaning up after, But she says she is very satisfied with what we have, and won’t look for another male friend. I tease her about it though.
There are some aspects of her experience with ‘the friend’ that she has finally told me this past June while we were on a camping trip together,10 months later. Although it was only Sensual massage and oral sex, there was a strong emotional component. So I am not surprised that Sue has not ‘opened up’ to further explain her ‘break-up’ with Don. She will have to have some ‘grieving’ time.
Cheers, Harry
Sue is out again shopping with our daughter, I'm beginning to regret her not getting back with Don if she's going to be spending money like this.
But in all seriousness (Tom, you can stop reading now), we have talked a lot this week and I think she's opened up about as much of it as she can.
I do not believe she deliberately provoked him as Joncondon had suggested, from what she's told me, that's not something she did, at least not consciously.
She has said that she doesn't want to see him again. That she saw a side of him that she didn't like and - to put it simply - it turned her off on him. And that's actually what seems to have bothered her more than anything. I told her that I knew she was developing feelings for him and she was relieved that I had recognized it just as she did, and I guess my telling her that may have let her relax about what she was okay about telling me, and she seemed to just talk at times. Out of the blue at times.
In some ways that hurt her the most. She says that she thought they'd been together about all of this and that she'd given so much to "them" (I did wince as she said that) that for him to have said and acted - she says that she feels almost stupid about it. She said at one time to me that "maybe all he wanted was the sex?" and while I may have been thinking that - when she said that I told her that was nonsense and said stuff to make her feel that it wasn't just something physical that they shared.
I guess it sounds crazy, me defending their relationship to her, but in a way I didn't want her to hate this whole idea of having another guy in our life as up until that Friday night, it was pretty awesome.
She asked me how I felt about it and I told her that I was sad that something that had given her so much pleasure had been lost. And that's when she explained that she just seemed to have lost her respect for him in a way (I put those words in her mouth - neither of us could find the words to describe what she felt) and that she no longer felt inside that she wanted to give herself to him as she had.
She told me she was really upset that after how close they'd been and how in sync she felt with him during that week together, that she is still really confused at what happened and why he had expected something different. She confirmed that she'd told him she was going home that Friday night to have sex with me and that we were together in the time after that too. Apparently what he'd heard was that they could do another week together from time to time and he must have thought some how that between that and their once-a-week, that she was no longer going to have sex with me.
It's a big jump from where I was sitting for him to conclude that - but I guess maybe she had been leading him on with her saying "not yet" instead of "no" to earlier requests from him for more exclusivity. Maybe the week somehow convinced him that she'd crossed that bridge. And I guess, if she was sharing the whole panty-thing with him but not playing up the sex that she and I would have after she'd come home - maybe he did have it in his head. Maybe he thought I was there to watch that night or something like that? I honestly don't know and I haven't told Sue any of this line of thinking that I have because I don't want to make her question herself at this point in time.
She did ask me whether I still wanted her to have a "lover on the side" as she put it. I told her that I loved what it had done for her and for us and she giggled and said that she too had begun to accept that maybe it has been something good for us. And that was when I brought up that I didn't want her getting hurt and told her that I really was happy that she herself recognized the line she was nearing in their relationship.
That was when she asked me a big question. This was just the other day but she came out and asked me how I'd feel if she did truly fall in love with another man. I paused for a bit and I told her that it would probably kill me. But I added that if it did happen despite our - and I stressed "our" - best efforts (at stopping, preventing, reversing it - you get what I mean) - that if it still happened then we'd just have to deal with it. A moment later she asked me if it turned me on to think of her falling for another guy? I didn't answer for a bit and then said honestly just 2 words - "sort of". I wasn't looking at her as I said that, I don't know but at that moment I couldn't. When I looked up a second later she was turned away and the moment had passed and she didn't bring it up again.
In the end she told me that she needed to gather her thoughts for a while longer but, as I said, she did reluctantly begin to accept that maybe this has been a good thing for us at this point in our lives and she said that she was pretty sure that she would probably want it again in a while.
I can say that the sex between us is a bit different now. Not better or worse, just different. It seems to be less explicit, perhaps a bit less "slutty" but at the same time, it has become incredibly physical. Most recently she's begun throwing a little teasing back in too which is a sure sign to me that she's relaxing about all of this. Not over it, but no quite so upset about it. I'll give her all the time she needs/wants.
But yes, it is over with Don. From the contempt that she's had in her voice when she's mentioned him, it's clear that she feels hurt by him, hurt and turned off.
But in all seriousness (Tom, you can stop reading now), we have talked a lot this week and I think she's opened up about as much of it as she can.
I do not believe she deliberately provoked him as Joncondon had suggested, from what she's told me, that's not something she did, at least not consciously.
She has said that she doesn't want to see him again. That she saw a side of him that she didn't like and - to put it simply - it turned her off on him. And that's actually what seems to have bothered her more than anything. I told her that I knew she was developing feelings for him and she was relieved that I had recognized it just as she did, and I guess my telling her that may have let her relax about what she was okay about telling me, and she seemed to just talk at times. Out of the blue at times.
In some ways that hurt her the most. She says that she thought they'd been together about all of this and that she'd given so much to "them" (I did wince as she said that) that for him to have said and acted - she says that she feels almost stupid about it. She said at one time to me that "maybe all he wanted was the sex?" and while I may have been thinking that - when she said that I told her that was nonsense and said stuff to make her feel that it wasn't just something physical that they shared.
I guess it sounds crazy, me defending their relationship to her, but in a way I didn't want her to hate this whole idea of having another guy in our life as up until that Friday night, it was pretty awesome.
She asked me how I felt about it and I told her that I was sad that something that had given her so much pleasure had been lost. And that's when she explained that she just seemed to have lost her respect for him in a way (I put those words in her mouth - neither of us could find the words to describe what she felt) and that she no longer felt inside that she wanted to give herself to him as she had.
She told me she was really upset that after how close they'd been and how in sync she felt with him during that week together, that she is still really confused at what happened and why he had expected something different. She confirmed that she'd told him she was going home that Friday night to have sex with me and that we were together in the time after that too. Apparently what he'd heard was that they could do another week together from time to time and he must have thought some how that between that and their once-a-week, that she was no longer going to have sex with me.
It's a big jump from where I was sitting for him to conclude that - but I guess maybe she had been leading him on with her saying "not yet" instead of "no" to earlier requests from him for more exclusivity. Maybe the week somehow convinced him that she'd crossed that bridge. And I guess, if she was sharing the whole panty-thing with him but not playing up the sex that she and I would have after she'd come home - maybe he did have it in his head. Maybe he thought I was there to watch that night or something like that? I honestly don't know and I haven't told Sue any of this line of thinking that I have because I don't want to make her question herself at this point in time.
She did ask me whether I still wanted her to have a "lover on the side" as she put it. I told her that I loved what it had done for her and for us and she giggled and said that she too had begun to accept that maybe it has been something good for us. And that was when I brought up that I didn't want her getting hurt and told her that I really was happy that she herself recognized the line she was nearing in their relationship.
That was when she asked me a big question. This was just the other day but she came out and asked me how I'd feel if she did truly fall in love with another man. I paused for a bit and I told her that it would probably kill me. But I added that if it did happen despite our - and I stressed "our" - best efforts (at stopping, preventing, reversing it - you get what I mean) - that if it still happened then we'd just have to deal with it. A moment later she asked me if it turned me on to think of her falling for another guy? I didn't answer for a bit and then said honestly just 2 words - "sort of". I wasn't looking at her as I said that, I don't know but at that moment I couldn't. When I looked up a second later she was turned away and the moment had passed and she didn't bring it up again.
In the end she told me that she needed to gather her thoughts for a while longer but, as I said, she did reluctantly begin to accept that maybe this has been a good thing for us at this point in our lives and she said that she was pretty sure that she would probably want it again in a while.
I can say that the sex between us is a bit different now. Not better or worse, just different. It seems to be less explicit, perhaps a bit less "slutty" but at the same time, it has become incredibly physical. Most recently she's begun throwing a little teasing back in too which is a sure sign to me that she's relaxing about all of this. Not over it, but no quite so upset about it. I'll give her all the time she needs/wants.
But yes, it is over with Don. From the contempt that she's had in her voice when she's mentioned him, it's clear that she feels hurt by him, hurt and turned off.
Yes Sir
Mr Soon, thanks for the update. I have no doubt something will come up, no pun intended. I believe you mentioned Don and Sue see one another at work. A weasel like him, with no doubt a huge ego, will keep pecking away at Sue. Try to wear her down. Tell her anything he thinks will work. Anyway it has been a lot of fun for all your followers. Please do pop in every so often. Thank you.
Mr Soon, thanks for the update. I have no doubt something will come up, no pun intended. I believe you mentioned Don and Sue see one another at work. A weasel like him, with no doubt a huge ego, will keep pecking away at Sue. Try to wear her down. Tell her anything he thinks will work. Anyway it has been a lot of fun for all your followers. Please do pop in every so often. Thank you.
Don was a good lover for your wife to have put in her past, IMO. Time to move on...
STB,
Here are some thoughts.
Good. My feeling is, your wife's affair with Don probably continued longer than was healthy for the two of you, given you encouraged her to seek other men to fuck and she proceeded to do so. If his persona had been more to Sue's liking (as opposed to him being something of an asshole), the trend of her feelings toward him may have continued in the "upward" direction — rather than her recognizing him, finally, for what he is — and, I suspect, there's a good chance you could have found yourself an estranged husband.
It does, sort of. If I were in your position, I suspect I would have left her free to make the "it's over with Don" decision, and supported her in it. I also suspect I would have felt more than a little relieved.
This sounds very positive.
A good answer, IMO.
Also a very good reply, IMO.
Sounds like a positive outcome for the two of you (although not, perhaps, from Don's point of view). Your wife has successfully handled her second fucking of another man, albeit in a somewhat extended fashion, and seems to realize... indeed, has even been willing to say to you... that she's likely to want to continue fucking other men.
Yes, certainly...
I guess it's obvious that Don crossed some sort of line, and requested... perhaps even demanded... something from Sue that offended her, in large part because (I would guess) it would have involved hurting you in a big way. She may also have been offended because she had assumed all along that Don understood he wouldn't cross this line... but he did.
—Custer
STB,
Here are some thoughts.
SoonToBe said:
Good. My feeling is, your wife's affair with Don probably continued longer than was healthy for the two of you, given you encouraged her to seek other men to fuck and she proceeded to do so. If his persona had been more to Sue's liking (as opposed to him being something of an asshole), the trend of her feelings toward him may have continued in the "upward" direction — rather than her recognizing him, finally, for what he is — and, I suspect, there's a good chance you could have found yourself an estranged husband.
SoonToBe said:
It does, sort of. If I were in your position, I suspect I would have left her free to make the "it's over with Don" decision, and supported her in it. I also suspect I would have felt more than a little relieved.
SoonToBe said:
This sounds very positive.
SoonToBe said:
A good answer, IMO.
SoonToBe said:
Also a very good reply, IMO.
SoonToBe said:
Sounds like a positive outcome for the two of you (although not, perhaps, from Don's point of view). Your wife has successfully handled her second fucking of another man, albeit in a somewhat extended fashion, and seems to realize... indeed, has even been willing to say to you... that she's likely to want to continue fucking other men.
SoonToBe said:
Yes, certainly...
SoonToBe said:
I guess it's obvious that Don crossed some sort of line, and requested... perhaps even demanded... something from Sue that offended her, in large part because (I would guess) it would have involved hurting you in a big way. She may also have been offended because she had assumed all along that Don understood he wouldn't cross this line... but he did.
—Custer
Thanks for the update Stb. Sue may definitely have decided that it is the end for Don but as joncondon says the weasel may start pecking at her. As far as you and Sue are concerned, I am happy for you. You've had this intoxicating adventure and escaped harm.
I shall keep looking for your posts when a new beau happens for Sue.
I shall keep looking for your posts when a new beau happens for Sue.
Thanks for the update STB. From my post on September 29, 2009:
"IMHO, for what it's worth, if I were in Don's place, I would show both you and Sue much more respect. He is lucky to be able to share a woman as wonderful as Sue. I often wonder just what he is thinking. He's got a great thing going, but it may not last much longer because of his actions and attitude."
"IMHO, for what it's worth, if I were in Don's place, I would show both you and Sue much more respect. He is lucky to be able to share a woman as wonderful as Sue. I often wonder just what he is thinking. He's got a great thing going, but it may not last much longer because of his actions and attitude."
Had to happen STB. I can't see any relationship, secondary to your own, which is not going to either escalate to the point of damage, spiral out of control in some way or simply implode at some point. All relationships evolve and all the ones you are both comfortable with (or at perhaps able to stomach in your case) are almost bound to start as simply fuck buddies before they start to change. Deeper feelings, possessiveness, control and yes, love can all be a part of this change. Maybe you need two or three lovers, all aware of each other perhaps, who know where the limits are going in. They will know that they can easily be replaced, so are less likely to transgress the boundaries. It will take longer for each to get the 'comfortable' stage, the point where each is in tune with Sue's desires but this also means they may last longer in the relationship too.
What I do think you need to do together is to sit down and work out where those boundaries are for you both. When you get into the 'cuckold angst' mode, you can sometimes lose all control and this puts pressure on Sue to keep it all together. It also means that she is sometimes not sure where you stand (because you probably don't know at times). I suspect it may be fun to talk through scenarios with her. In the absence of a current lover, you could create scenes together in your heads which may simulate at least some of the excitement for you both. Panties on while you talk for instance ??
Either way, I'm glad it has worked out for you and I look forward to reading how you both develop from here.
What I do think you need to do together is to sit down and work out where those boundaries are for you both. When you get into the 'cuckold angst' mode, you can sometimes lose all control and this puts pressure on Sue to keep it all together. It also means that she is sometimes not sure where you stand (because you probably don't know at times). I suspect it may be fun to talk through scenarios with her. In the absence of a current lover, you could create scenes together in your heads which may simulate at least some of the excitement for you both. Panties on while you talk for instance ??
Either way, I'm glad it has worked out for you and I look forward to reading how you both develop from here.
Just a bit of info, some time ago at work things changed such that Sue and Don no longer see each other at work. This was quite a while ago, there haven't been any clandestine coffee breaks in ages now. So, there is little issue there in terms of them being in contact with each other.
Peak and others, you are all correct in that we do need to discuss a bit more about boundaries. I think Sue feels the same way now too in that, at least from what I understand, she needs to know herself when too much is too much. She has asked and we've talked about what turned me on and I did tell her that her description of her week as a "honeymoon" was really arousing for me and I explained how I remembered how crazy we were on our own honeymoon and it turned me on to know she was re-living some of that excitement. She said she didn't think she was going to be ready for another week like that for a long time and I told her that was okay if she never wanted it again as I had incredible memories and feelings from what we did do.
I did mention to her a few times that I thought our next "partner" should maybe be someone we know and might even be friends with. She was reluctant to think that way until I explained that it would probably limit how far things would go and I joked that if she didn't tell him that I knew about things, that it might make it even more exciting. She giggled and said that I may be onto something with that thought.
Anyway - that's all there is for now. Enjoy the weekend.
Peak and others, you are all correct in that we do need to discuss a bit more about boundaries. I think Sue feels the same way now too in that, at least from what I understand, she needs to know herself when too much is too much. She has asked and we've talked about what turned me on and I did tell her that her description of her week as a "honeymoon" was really arousing for me and I explained how I remembered how crazy we were on our own honeymoon and it turned me on to know she was re-living some of that excitement. She said she didn't think she was going to be ready for another week like that for a long time and I told her that was okay if she never wanted it again as I had incredible memories and feelings from what we did do.
I did mention to her a few times that I thought our next "partner" should maybe be someone we know and might even be friends with. She was reluctant to think that way until I explained that it would probably limit how far things would go and I joked that if she didn't tell him that I knew about things, that it might make it even more exciting. She giggled and said that I may be onto something with that thought.
Anyway - that's all there is for now. Enjoy the weekend.
I have just discovered this site and have really enjoyed reading through this thread, I recognise some of the emotions that SoonToBe has expressed from my own experiences over the years and I'm inspired to share the journey of my wife's liaisons down the years just when I get a chance to sit down and write it.
