MichaelWills said:Alexis,
As you may have figured out from surfing this site, there are a lot of people who get turned on to the idea of their wives being with other men, especially black men. And I think that if the polls were done the majority of the people thus intrigued is from couples with limited outside experience. A lot of couples who start this is when the kids leave home, they have time to devote to each other, more time to explore their sexuality, and via the internet discover that some of these deep hidden fantasies are shared by other people.
An interest, or even just being intrigued, about a part of that does not mean anyone wants you to participate. There are a lot of people on here who are turned on to the idea of it--but have never done it and never will. Others live out their fantasies here from those who do indulge.
What I can guarantee is that if opening a marriage is something you are dead set against--then it won't happen, it is just thought on his part and nothing to worry about. If he wants to you try it, and you don't--still it is your body, and you simply say "no" and there is nothing to worry about.
If the idea is intriguing--as it will probably be a few days after the initial discovery--then it is time that you start talking to your hubby about what he's thinking--and you're thoughts. Communication with him is vital no matter what you want to or do not want to do. If you two are not openly communicating with each other neither one of you have any business on this kind of site if there is any thoughts of anyone doing it for real.
I can't speak for you, I can tell you that it started for us when we were having a long talk after a good friend had passed away (and the kids had left home, and we were re-discovering each other, and had limited sexual experience before we married). The friend had died young, and in the course of the conversation I asked her, "If you knew you were going to go tomorrow, would you have any regrets."
She told me -- and among her unfulfilled fantasies was that she had always wondered what it would be like to be with a black guy. Black guys had always turned her on, which she didn't think I'd observed. (I had). So we drank some more, talked some more, and I said, "We could do that--you shouldn't have unfulfilled fantasies--nothing unsaid, nothing undone."
We talked about it for a few months, started coming to this site on the paid side, ran an ad, rejected all the respondents for one reason or another, and then happened upon the right guy who was into it on a limited way and she took the plunge. That was nearly three years ago, and something we still enjoy.
It did not destroy our marriage, in fact it opened us up a lot more to each other. I'm very straight, I take photos and video the encounters which we watch together afterward and get hot all over again.
The lifestyle may not be right for you, but obviously it is something that you and your husband need to talk about with an open mind. Don't go into a conversation with him about it with your mind already made up about how wrong, or dangerous, or insulting to you that you might think this might be.
Instead listen to what he has to say, think about it, and respond honestly to him as well.
Whether you ever do anything in this lifestyle or not, I think you both need to know where you stand on it, and neither of you will know until you start the dialogue.
I realize that he may just be intrigued by it and not really want me to participate. That's what I'm hoping, and also that's why I'm worried about even bringing it up to him.
