Geglu said:
You’re welcome, Ms. Aila.
Geglu said:
That’s good to hear. I hope your descriptions of your experiences and your thoughts, and my comments, will be found helpful by other married women who have strong sexual needs but find themselves frustrated.
Geglu said:
Yes, I understand. It’s what my quote (above, from David J. Ley’s [2009] book) was all about.
Geglu said:
I agree that your decision to make Geglu your husband was very wise. I put it this way because, arguably, women choose their husbands (or long-term LTR partners), but they do it in such a way that their husbands think they made the choice.
Geglu said:
Yes, of course, it’s entirely reasonable, proper, and appropriate for you and, indeed, for any married woman, to take as many lovers as you wish to satisfy your sexual needs, while remaining married to your husband because you love him, and he loves you, and because he provides you with the emotional and personal support, and daily companionship you need.
This tends to work best if your husband remains faithful to you, rather than taking lovers himself, for the following reasons.
When a woman and her husband are in an “open marriage” with both taking lovers, an unstated competition often develops, with the husband attempting to take as many or more lovers as his wife.
The woman usually wins this unstated competition, because it’s obviously in the interest of single (and/or married) men to fuck a married woman. This, in turn, is because there is a chance… however slim… she will become pregnant. If she does, he’ll have succeeded in propagating his genes into the next generation, while his married woman’s husband, and her, will pay the costs and expend the time, work, and energy necessary to raise the child he has sired.
By contrast, it is not in the interest of single women to fuck married men (although some do, obviously), because — if they become pregnant, which can happen if they aren’t sufficiently careful with their birth control — they will have to expend the time, energy, and work necessary to raise the resulting child by themselves. The married man whom they’ve fucked usually plays no role (or attempts to play no role) in supporting and raising any child or children he sires with single women, because… well… he is married. For most single women, that outcome is devastating.
When the husband in an “open marriage” realizes he is losing this unstated competition with his wife, bad feelings may develop that can lead to divorce.
Alternatively, the husband may “concede” and — deciding he doesn’t want to lose his wife — become a self-acknowledged cuckold who, through either explicit or implicit agreement with his wife, makes no further attempts to pursue other women while his wife continues to date, seduce, and fuck other men. This outcome, which preserves their marriage, is a “cuckold husband / hotwife” form of marriage.
A good explanation of this phenomenon, which is readily available online and easy to read, as well as being quite fascinating in an erotic way, is:
The science of cuckoldry, by Susan Gower:
http colon doubleslash cuckoldcouple dot wordpress dot com slash the-science-of-cuckoldry slash
(substitute the indicated punctuation with no spaces). Alternatively, google it with “the science of cuckoldry” in quotes.
BTW, the above explanation of “open” marriages that tend to evolve into “cuckold husband / hotwife” marriages (or divorces) is not my own. Rather, it is from a site for which I’ll furnish the link in a subsequent post.
