A thought based on Sarah's comment. I think rather your the man are woman and your spouce has a relationship with someone else, and it does not even have to go as far as sex, you feel hurt, and at a loss. You might blame yourself but you sure as hell will blame them, after all part of the wedding vows is, "forsaking all others, for him or her alone,".
However if one can adjust their mind set and understand that sex is not love, and even make it plain that it works both ways but if they feel the need to at least be honest and share that experince it might lessen the pain when it happens.
The other side of that issue is, why would two people in love let sex be the damning factor if the other did so with someone else and it cause the divorce? If they are really in love and that love is unconditional then why can't they move forward, talk about it, work out if it going to be a life style, or if there is a issue that can be fixed that led to the problem. My experince is that if the fact the a person cheated destoryed the marrage then there was some issues going on as well. If they couldn't talk about what was wrong before the dirty deed happened there were other issues going on.
To have a open hot wife, or cuckold, or whatever name you choose to put on it, requiires being very much in love and full understanding of the difference. A understanding that sex is not "in love." Even with that understanding I have said more then once, there is a process in those talks, of some kind of rules you will both play by and what is expected. Often people get married and never even talk about the expectaitions of each other.
Yes I know that when a person cheats, that it destories the bond of trust, but why does it have too? It does not have to if the both of them love each another to sit down and talk it out. Trust is not the only stone that a marrage is built on, yet so often it seems to be the one the most value is placed on.
Even when you have a open relationship, you might find a time when your partner keeps back a experince, because they needed something more then you could give, or they just needed to feel like they were owners of themselves and still who they are. Try respecting this instead of condeming it, work on changing your own mind set and if you give it a bit of time, and start thinking about that guy see your baby parts that were only meant for you and are yours, and pictureing that he got hard and couldn't keep from coming in her, you might find you are excited and even proud.
I am proud of my wife and her abilty to pick up a stranger and get them in bed and make them cum in her. I totaly enjoy each time, and if I have one complaint it is I wish sometimes she would do it more often.
Yet we do have rules, I don't force her or try to, and if she plays she always tells so i can enjoy it as well. We have one major rule,those that have read my past posts know why we have this rule, never ever do it with the same person more then once unless we both agree, never do it with any one that might cause family issues, never do it in a way where it become more then what it is, sex. In other words no sharing emotioanl things about the real us or who she is.
I am not saying don't be emotinal about the sex, but we don't give up who we are or share that sort of intmancy. For some they can do that and it works, for us we found that led to issues best not to have to deal with. Oh and we never do any thing at our own place anymore. We tried that found it was not the best judgement for either of us and also made it hard to get rid of a play mate when done.
Love is really one thing giving, and what you do when you allow openess with out having to lie is give your trust and faith in what you too feel and share.
Plus there is a risk, if you both of you are not sound in being in love and the ability to talk and be open, share and enjoy the experinces, you can be almost sure you will lose him or her.
Ok my two cents now I will shut up.
