Wife Passwords Cell Phone – Locks Me Out

[CuckoldMick]

As a cuckold that is virtually left out of my wife’s outside sexual activities I have turned to sneaking a peak at her cell phone messages as a means to be kept informed of what she’s saying to her lovers, what she plans to do with them and even what happens between them. In reality, much of the time this covert (and relatively harmless) participation in her outside play has been the only way I have been able to enjoy her sexual liaisons. Outside of this, I am largely left out, frustrated, humiliated and depressed.

Recently, Kristen decided to place a password on her phone so that I can no longer view her text messages--- leaving me completely out of her ex par activities. On the premise that a hot wife should take care of her cuckold and that taking a look at her messages is the only way I am involved in her outside experiences, I feel that she is being not only unreasonable, but cruel to me. This is a part (the only part) of her play that I have enjoyed for many months--- now she is denying me this simple pleasure. I feel inclined to issue an ultimatum. Your thoughts would be appreciated.

CuckoldMick

 

[duke9555]

As a cuckold that is virtually left out of my wife’s outside sexual activities I have turned to sneaking a peak at her cell phone messages as a means to be kept informed of what she’s saying to her lovers, what she plans to do with them and even what happens between them. In reality, much of the time this covert (and relatively harmless) participation in her outside play has been the only way I have been able to enjoy her sexual liaisons. Outside of this, I am largely left out, frustrated, humiliated and depressed.

Recently, Kristen decided to place a password on her phone so that I can no longer view her text messages--- leaving me completely out of her ex par activities. On the premise that a hot wife should take care of her cuckold and that taking a look at her messages is the only way I am involved in her outside experiences, I feel that she is being not only unreasonable, but cruel to me. This is a part (the only part) of her play that I have enjoyed for many months--- now she is denying me this simple pleasure. I feel inclined to issue an ultimatum. Your thoughts would be appreciated.

CuckoldMick

============


i have an idea ........throw a full tilt tantrum
cry stomp your feet and threaten to hold your breath
until she gives you the p/w

 

[carina_halerose]

if your wife has exculded you from all of her activities then you are a true cuck. on the other hand i think your marriage may be in serious trouble and you should sit down and have an adult convo with her.

 

[Harry2614]

Cell Phone

Who pays the Cell phone bill??? Hmmmm!

 

[CuckoldMick]

Carina--- I agree that the inequity of our lifestyle is creating problems in our marriage. I have tried a number of times to talk with Kristen about this, but she pretty much ignores me. I think what I want is to formalize exactly "what" we are and what we do--- is it cuckoldry, hot wifing, swinging? And then I want a place in this lifestyle. I'm happy not to play with other women, but I would appreciate being able to watch my wife have sex with other men in the role of a true “keyhole” voyeur. Or if Kris wanted to practice femdom cuckoldry, there would be something in this for me too. But what I get is basically “left out”. She has lovers, and I don’t have any participation rights. The sad thing is, I enjoy the fact that she has other men--- but the sexual thrill of this for me is greatly diminished because Kris will not let me participate--- even off-site (like being allowed to listen from the other room). And--- I still have enough balls left in me to voice my opinion about this--- which brings about arguments. Our situation to me is a prime example of a violation of the fairness principle. When one partner feels that the situation he/she is in is unfair (inequitable) then the relationship will eventually suffer. Though I’ve been cuckolded for nearly five years I am thinking more and more about going to Kris and firmly saying, “Either we figure out ways I can be involved in your outside play, or the play is over”….. and suffer the consequences--- that is she may refuse and then I would have to put my money where my mouth is and leave.

 

[Ballspanking]

The important thing here is not only that you speak, but when speech has deteriorated to argument, much of what is said goes unheard or misinterpreted. You need to repair the healthy communication of needs, desires, intimacy, etc, if your relationship is to improve.

The revelation of these feelings can also bring about an untenable description that you may, or may not want to live with.

Unfortunately, from what I have observed, it is frequent in habits of humiliation, for women to lose regard for their husbands (who willingly offer the wife to the gods of the phallus), and also lose interest of his needs, as an equal/unequal partner.
Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, she is bonding wit the man that touches her most deeply, that makes her feel most as a Woman!

 

[rural]

Who pays the Cell phone bill??? Hmmmm!

Well, she can get her boyfriend(s) to pay for it

 

[Custer Laststand]

A blast from the past...

CuckoldMick,

Your situation, as you have described it, brings to mind a post from quite a while ago describing "a cuckold's progression." I filed a copy, but unfortunately neglected to include the poster and the address of the original thread. Thus, it's necessary for me to re-post it as an anonymous contribution. I cleaned up the writing to the extent that seemed necessary; otherwise the following is as it originally appeared.

—Custer

A Cuckold’s Progression:

I have been married three times during the past 40 years. All of my wives have cuckolded me, including my wife of the past 25 years. Many cuckold relationships start like ours and reach the same forks-in-the-road, with differing outcomes.

It usually starts when a married couple decide to “push the boundaries” of their relationships with others and with sex. The husband is usually the instigator. With some effort, he convinces his wife to dress somewhat more provocatively and perhaps do some flirting. It usually doesn’t stay at flirting long before one or both partners want to up the ante.

The first decision is, will this involve both the husband and wife or only the wife? Those who desire the former usually go into swinging. Those who desire the latter usually move directly toward cuckolding. (In my cases, it always started with swinging.) As time passes, the wife almost always attracts more attention than her husband. Wives can almost always draw more, younger and better-looking men because there are significantly fewer women than men willing to pursue adultery. If a married woman likes that form of attention, as have my three wives, she will wish to go to bed with many of these good-looking young men even if they don’t provide women for her husband to swing with.

This leads to the next negotiation. The wife agrees to go on a swinging date with her husband, if she can have a date with one of the men who are pursuing her. Her husband, having initiated this and encouraged her, says “yes.”

Next to be decided is, how much involvement will her husband have in her dates? Will they always be threesomes? Can she go alone sometimes? Always? Never…?

Regardless of their agreement, the wife can always change it because, as her husband is now beginning to realize, she holds all the power in this situation. Soon she will want two and then three dates for each swinging engagement because—as she will point out—she only swings “to keep him happy.” She does not want other women bedding her husband, but allows it “for him.”

Before long, she informs him she “really wants to go on some or all of her dates alone, or she just can’t see how she can keep swinging.”

After a while there is no more swinging, and the wife goes on dates when she pleases. The agreed-upon length of her dates soon changes as well. In my case, it went from evenings to overnights to a week at ….vacation spot…. with her lover. (She couldn’t find time to go there with me this year.)

Her husband soon realizes that all other agreed-upon rules are also subject to change. For instance, it was “condoms only” in the beginning when each of my three wives began taking lovers. This lasts until the wife finds a lover she really likes, so she wants to go bareback with him. In my case, my wives decided to take black lovers exclusively…. and did not want to disrespect them by asking them to use condoms, which “black men don’t like.”

Her husband agrees, because by now he suspects she will do it anyway and he has lost the nerve to challenge her.

This is a big step for him toward self-acknowledgment of his status as his wife’s cuckold, because there is a large difference between another man having sexual relations with his wife and actually ejaculating inside her. In all societies, this act is a very strong mark of possession by the other man. The thought of his wife’s lover mixing his DNA with hers is very sobering, even if he doesn’t think she can get pregnant. Her desire to have the seed of another man inside her is sufficient to let her husband know where he stands.

If the husband is ever intimate with another woman, must he wear a condom? His wife makes it clear that he must. He won’t challenge this request either because, well, it probably won’t happen anyway.

One night the gradual shift of power from husband to wife accelerates when she informs him that, “Sweetheart, just for fun, for a little while, I want you to wear condoms.” She explains she wants to experience “what it would be like” to have ONLY her lover’s semen and sperm inside her. Her husband, whose response pattern is now established, agrees.

A few years later, the wife decides she will allow her husband inside her bareback if he will get a vasectomy. “We have our children anyway,” she points out to him. This happened to me three years ago. Five months ago, my wife informed me she was going to “settle down” and see only four lovers regularly (two middle-aged black men who are brothers and the two sons of one of them), because that will be “safer.” Four months ago, she informed me she was going off her birth control pills because they are unsafe at her age, and because, at 45, she can’t get pregnant anyway. But, since she went off the pill, conversations among her and her lovers have mostly been about “knocking her up.” To me she says things like, “you can shoot blanks in me if you want, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter.”

I must love this stuff, right? I have done it three times!

—Anon

 

[Custer Laststand]

Here's a strategy for getting what you want WITH domestic tranquility...

CuckoldMick,

Recently, my wife Kristen decided to place a password on her phone so that I can no longer view her text messages, thus leaving me completely out of her ex par activities. .... Now my wife is denying me this simple pleasure [of knowing what goes on between her and her lovers]. I feel inclined to issue an ultimatum. Your thoughts would be appreciated. —CuckoldMick

Rather than stomping around and issuing ultimatums, I suggest acquiescing in your wife's need for privacy, thereby allowing her the satisfaction of "dominating" you in this way.

Then, out-maneuver your wife technologically. Begin by attempting to guess her password. Many people routinely use passwords that are incredibly easy to guess, use the same password for multiple "accounts," and seldom or never change their passwords. If your wife has one or more other passwords she uses for other purposes and you know some of them, try her "known passwords" first to see if she is also using one of them on her cell phone.

If this doesn't work, try passwords she does not use for other purposes but she is likely to find easy to remember — for instance, the name of her pet dog (that you complained about in an earlier post); the first and middle names of your daughter; the first, middle, and last names of her favorite lover; her first and middle names; her mother's first name, middle name, her maiden name, etc. If none of these get you in, try simple number passwords: 1234, 4321, 6789, 9876, 9999, and the digits of your street address, for instance.

If you manage to guess your wife's cell password using a strategy something like the above, your problem will be solved and there will be no need for loud verbal shootouts, ultimatums, and threatened divorces.

If, on the other hand, you find your wife has been so creative in choosing a cell password you are unable to guess it, I suggest "going heavy" and consulting a private detective agency. This wouldn't be cheap, but my impression is, you have more-then-sufficient financial resources to swing it. Married people who suspect their spouse is having an affair and want proof are the bread and butter of these agencies; if you outline your problem I strongly suspect any half-way competent private detective would consider it a piece of cake. First, of course, get an estimate from them of what the job is going to cost you, then work with them to whatever extent is necessary to enable them to solve the problem (if they need any help from you at all).

Voila! You will soon have the password to your wife's cell phone (even if you find yourself unable to guess it), and your problem will be solved without any need for loud fights and ultimatums.

You will, however, have an additional problem. It will be to make use of your illicitly-obtained password to obtain the info you want without your wife realizing you're doing that. A private detective agency may also be able to assist you with this by — in essence — putting a tap and recorder on your wife's phone, so you can listen to her "lover conversations" at your leisure.

A strategy along the above lines, I suspect, would yield what you want while enabling you to maintain domestic tranquility, including (seemingly) giving your wife the secret satisfaction of "dominating" you by excluding you from her hot sexual planning and other communications.

—Custer

 

[Paulie73]

...When one partner feels that the situation he/she is in is unfair (inequitable) then the relationship will eventually suffer. Though I’ve been cuckolded for nearly five years I am thinking more and more about going to Kris and firmly saying, “Either we figure out ways I can be involved in your outside play, or the play is over”….. and suffer the consequences--- that is she may refuse and then I would have to put my money where my mouth is and leave.

You seem to have a break down in communication. The one and only time my wife and I experimented with the lifestyle we were up all night talking about the ground rules, what I wanted and didn't want to happen, what she wanted and what would happen if the lines were ever crossed. It agreed that either of us could put the breaks on it when ever we felt it necessary. I think you and your wife should have "the talk" before your marriage goes down the tubes. Good luck bro

 

[Shidave]

Mick, if your wife does not want to talk it through then maybe you are through! The marriage is over! If she leaves nothing for you in this relationship then cut your losses. Talk to her first. If you do give her an ultimatum then you will have to follow through or you will be nothing but a dish rag.

 

[mimi27406]

What we have hear is a failure to communicate!

Cuckoldmick, yes your marriage is in trouble, with or without cuckoldry. You are a cuckold in the truest sense, because you know she does have lovers, and you have nothing to say about it. It may be too late to reestablish lines of communications, because she has little to gain from it, and may not even want to listen. No you do not have rights to her private communications, as she has none to yours. She will include you when it suits her and it is doubtfull if she cares wheather you go or stay. Even if you are important in the assets and earnings, she will get hers from the devorce. What can you do for her, to make her want to include you. You might strip, tie a pink ribbon around your cock and balls, and go to her with a cat of nine tails, and ask her please punish me and make me the fem servant you want, but send me pics of you and your lovers, and tell her you do want to help her dress to go out and clean her and her lovers when she is ready.

You say you still have some balls left, but it seems you are reduced to whining. Your situation is not a partnership, or swap, but you have allowed your self to be cucked. If you are truly disatisfied it is time to fish or cut bait. It may very well be that her lovers do not want you involved, some do not, others may if you are sissy enough.

 

[carina_halerose]

Carina--- I agree that the inequity of our lifestyle is creating problems in our marriage. I have tried a number of times to talk with Kristen about this, but she pretty much ignores me. I think what I want is to formalize exactly "what" we are and what we do--- is it cuckoldry, hot wifing, swinging? And then I want a place in this lifestyle. I'm happy not to play with other women, but I would appreciate being able to watch my wife have sex with other men in the role of a true “keyhole” voyeur. Or if Kris wanted to practice femdom cuckoldry, there would be something in this for me too. But what I get is basically “left out”. She has lovers, and I don’t have any participation rights. The sad thing is, I enjoy the fact that she has other men--- but the sexual thrill of this for me is greatly diminished because Kris will not let me participate--- even off-site (like being allowed to listen from the other room). And--- I still have enough balls left in me to voice my opinion about this--- which brings about arguments. Our situation to me is a prime example of a violation of the fairness principle. When one partner feels that the situation he/she is in is unfair (inequitable) then the relationship will eventually suffer. Though I’ve been cuckolded for nearly five years I am thinking more and more about going to Kris and firmly saying, “Either we figure out ways I can be involved in your outside play, or the play is over”….. and suffer the consequences--- that is she may refuse and then I would have to put my money where my mouth is and leave.

You need to open up some line communication with your wife. One that does not include yelling, screaming, or accusations. Your marriage seems to be a one street. That way seems to be all your wife’s way. It seems you are excluded from a big part of your wife’s life at this point. You also seem not to get any enjoyment from her at all. So it may be time to lay it on the line tell her what you do like and do not like and that it needs to change and change quickly. From what you have said you are truly unhappy and need to change this for your on mental health. Good Luck

 

[Custer Laststand]

Shidave,

Regarding your comment:

Mick, if your wife does not want to talk it through then maybe you are through! The marriage is over! If she leaves nothing for you in this relationship then cut your losses. Talk to her first. If you do give her an ultimatum then you will have to follow through or you will be nothing but a dish rag.

I don't think it's as simple as that. Mick and his cuckoldress wife have a daughter. If he feels responsible for finishing the task of raising their daughter through completion of high school plus ensuring she has adequate funds to get through college (my impression is, he does feel responsible for his daughter and properly so), then I would guess he views simply filing for divorce and walking out on his wife as a bad option. If he does, I would tend to agree.

—Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

Mimi,

You've made some good points.

[CuckoldMick,] you are a cuckold in the truest sense, because you know your wife does have lovers and you have nothing to say about it.

I tend to agree.

.... What can you do for your wife, to make her want to include you.

It probably would be worthwhile for CuckoldMick to think in terms of this question (if he hasn't already).

You might strip, tie a pink ribbon around your cock and balls, and go to her with a cat of nine tails, and ask her please punish me and make me the fem servant you want...

This is a nice suggestion... I like it. A question, though, would be: is CuckoldMick's wife interested in this sort of thing?

...but send me pics of you and your lovers, and tell your wife you do want to help her dress to go out and clean her and her lovers when she is ready.

This would be a nice outcome (IMO), but again, a basic requirement would be for CuckoldMick's wife to be interested in this. My impression from reading his posts is, she isn't.

.... If you are truly disatisfied it is time to fish or cut bait.

As I mentioned w/r/t Shidave's comment, I don't think it's that simple.

It may very well be that [your wife's] lovers do not want you involved, CuckoldMick. Some do [or may] not, others may if you are sissy enough.

This is a good point, and it would be good (IMO) for CuckoldMick to try to resolve it his wife. I.e., to what extent is her "cutting him off" from her cell phone communications a result of desires on the part of her lovers for him not to know what's going on, vs. his wife's desire for him not to know what's going on. Who, in other words, is responsible for this change in her behavior?

—Custer

 

[cuckoldinpanties]

Comunication is the key to success in ANY relationship. You should try to talk to her and at least share your feelings over it. Ultimatums very rarely work because by the time you get to that point, the other party is set to "fight back".

All of these people saying "marriage is over" ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, over a cell phone????? If she wont at least discuss it than it may very well be over, but the phone is a symtom, not the cause.

Sometimes you need to have a major pow wow and discuss the rules or reinvent them. April and I have redefined our rules a bunch of times so that it suits BOTH of our needs. In fact, we just had a major redefine a few weeks ago, going back to things we liked a few years ago.

It is whatever works FOR YOU. Just because some of these people try to push their rules on you, don't think you have to follow the crowd. Do what works for you two.

April and I have a dom/sub/cuckold/hotwife arraingement where the dom/sub part is me in charge in many/most aspects, unless it comes to her having sex. Actually, I can order her to have sex too. Is it the norm? Probably not, but it works for us.

 

[duke9555]

you'd all be well advised to just do what the lady
of the house says and shut up ....just my opinion folks
hold the flames plz ( i'm sensitive ) ;-)

 

[mimi27406]

I think we, cuckolds, feel and realize CuckoldMicks delima

Custer is a master at disecting a problem or even replies. I poorly made my point that if his wife was not interested in including him, even if he became feminized, he has to make a very hard decision.

I did not want to get into the children issue as it raises the hackles of so many, but my thought is a child having to endure the conflict this marriage is generating will do more harm than good in trying to maintain the marriage at any expense. I also believe children are perceptive and at a young age realize what is going on.

I think I should have titled my reply, "Do what I say, not as I have done."
Experience is a very harsh teacher.

I wish you the best cuckoldmick, you have a rough row to hoe. Someone said the phone was not the cause but a symptom and that is exactly right.

 

[carina_halerose]

you'd all be well advised to just do what the lady
of the house says and shut up ....just my opinion folks
hold the flames plz ( i'm sensitive ) ;-)

duke have you ever posted anything of real value? it seems to be that all you do is spread unhappiness and hate

 

[ntr989]

Agree with Paulie on this one