Denial 2015

[peakmb]

Steve,
I realize that a weekend away is often paid for in time at work making up for the efforts lost to the ski slopes. There have been few comments from your happy band I suspect because we await the final outcome of your epic weekend. There are already several bumps and high spots, some of which Golfman alludes to above but until we know how it ended, its difficult to really know what to say. That we might not know until your weekly therapy session on Wednesday is upon us or even over only adds to the angst on our side. It is tempting to read the tea leaves but I suspect a wasted effort. I for one can (and must) wait.

 

[far2easy]

It was nice that she shared the masturbation session with you and also let you taste their love making. She does a great job of giving you just enough. I guess im one of the happy band, my fault for being on a cuckold website, enjoying a cuckold adventure. I think some folks forget this isn't vanilla relationships dot com. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the weekend and look forward to hearing more about it and your thoughts. Thanks for sharing!

 

[SoonToBe]

Far2 - at the time her sharing that moment with me and letting me watch her masturbate was so surprising that it was such a turn on.

What I haven't mentioned is the crazy intense feeling that was so tweaked listening to them in the bathroom and just knowing she was with him all night and that morning. I really don't know what it is but Sue finds it amusing that this turns me on so much. Seeing it so close up and hearing it so close up - I can't explain how turned on I felt. I know what I'm going to say next will sound crazy but hearing and seeing it happening, it only made me want to see him fucking her even more. Of course I was horny and I would have loved to fuck her but at the same time, it was a huge turn on knowing I wasn't going to. I'm not sure if I can explain it any more other than that.

Dinner was surreal - I mean we talked and conversed like normal but she knew I was horny thinking about her. We didn't talk about later though and that was a turn-on in a way, I didn't know what to expect. About the only thing we did joke about was that we expected to be back at the condo by about 8:30pm and how we both expected Paul to be there waiting, which he wasn't.

It gave us a little bit of time to talk. She told me she really appreciated how I was being and she asked me to "really tell me if you're okay with all of this". I hugged her and said that I did want her to be with him and that I would be okay. She smiled and we talked and she told me she loved me and said it again - that knowing I wanted it was what she wanted to hear. We kissed and she promised me that we will have some time this week for just us together.

Paul arrived not long after that and it was quite obvious that I wasn't a part of the plan. I knew she was antsy at dinner and now I knew why, she was horny. All the teasing and the little orgasms he'd given her - all that touchy/feely stuff - she was horny - and I was seeing her direct it to him.

I can't post every little detail - but the high spots that still drive me crazy were....

Them kissing passionately and him starting to undress her from the clothes she put on to go out to dinner. It was so hot to see her standing there a moment or so later in just her bra and panties. She undressed him and she fished his cock out through his fly in his boxers and without even a glance at me, she was fixated on his cock, stroking it as they kissed. And a moment later I winced at seeing his hand follow down her stomach and without even a pause, under her panties - and seeing her widen her stance for him was just so erotic to see.

They moved into the bedroom and finally I saw her look at me and smile but that was all. I watched her let him take her bra off and then watched him push her panties down. It never fails to amaze me to see her naked with another guy. It is just so in my face but she just looks so beautiful to me showing herself completely to him and not being shy - quite the opposite!!!

And yes - again I watched them fuck. What position didn't they try? She loved being on her knees and I knew from her being so horny that she was going to really be into him fucking her. I'm not sure I can explain it but all I wanted to do was to watch - at that moment, even if she'd turned to me and offered herself - the way I felt, I wouldn't have gone for it (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but not all that big of one).

Is it crazy that I like watching her get fucked. Sure, when she got on top of him for a little while you could say she was fucking him, but in all the other positions it was her that wanted him. I so loved seeing her want it. And when he would get her to cum - just a little - it was so intense to see her body go taut and to hear her moan deeply and to know what he was feeling in her. I think that's the part that may turn me on the most - that his cock is in her pussy feeling her cum. I don't know why it does, but it does.

They were going at it for a while and then they took a break... He pulled out of her and he was still hard as he lay next to her and they slowed down and kissed for a few minutes while he felt her breasts. I guess it was around then that I started to finally get undressed.

Sue looked over at me as I got undressed and smiled which I remember made me feel really good. Paul went to take a leak and I remember Sue looked over at me and puckered as if to blow me a kiss and she whispered she loved me. She looked so cute climbing off the bed and going to pee herself. While she was gone Paul didn't say anything to me other than "you good?" and I nodded yes.

When she came back - they again picked up again as if I wasn't there.

I don't know how long they were at it before their little pee break but I did somehow notice that it was well after 10pm when they again changed position back into the missionary position - Sue's favorite. She pulled her legs back for him and as she did so she actually turned to me and smiled and then turned back to Paul and held herself ready for him.

This time I moved right into position to be up close and watch what I expected would be when Paul would finally give her what she was so horny for. Again, they looked just so normal as he played with her pussy and gently pushed himself into her, but once he was in, whenever he pulled back, a flood of her wetness would seep out. I so wished I could be even closer but that's just not something I can do.

They were really going at it and - in my head I knew that Sue had told Paul what I'd done the night before - that I suddenly felt brave if you will. I pulled off my boxers and yes - I started to jerk-off watching them. It was easier than I expected as neither of them looked at me at all and once i realized that, I got rock hard and totally into it.

It's going to sound weird but maybe not so - but I actually moved around and lay on my side up on one elbow such that I had an awesome view of him fucking the shit out of her. She was moaning and flopping all around - I could see (and smell) that she'd cum several times already and that another one was just around the corner. But again, as I've said before many times, getting to know his pattern has become really exciting for me. And seeing her recognize it was even more exciting. Sure enough, over the next few minutes things built up and it was obvious to me that he wasn't going to stop this time. He only paused to shift her legs around onto his arms to hold them back and apart (my favorite position) and then he continued hammering at her.

I was getting close myself and I started to feel self-conscious with the thought that I didn't want to cum before they/he/she did. It felt so horny to try to pace myself with them but that's what I was doing.

It may have taken 2 it may have taken 15 more minutes - but soon enough I saw the signs in both of them. Something about how she'll hunch her body downward to almost point her pussy upwards even more - and then - he followed. Those same deeper more urgent thrusts into her and each one accompanied by a higher and higher scream from her as I knew what she was now despearate for.

He fucked her hard and deep for maybe another few minutes before I saw him punch sharply and deeply into her and I heard him grunt deeply himself. That was followed by several less intense thrusts each accompanied by a grunt that I knew meant he was coating the inside of her vagina. Seeing the tell-tale trickle of his thick cum appear with each thrust confirmed it - and when I saw he was still hard and going at her I moved back to watch as a moment later his continued fucking after he'd cum in her drove her over the edge. She thrashed back and forth and thrust herself upwards at him over and over. At one point a drool appeared at the corner of her mouth as her body spasmed as he kept fucking her. Seeing her tremble beneath him drove me over the edge and for the first time I came and spurted all over the bed as I watched them. I know I grunted out loud but neither paid attention as they slowly ground themselves against each other.

I drew out the last few drops and lay there for a moment longer until I realized that they weren't going to separate this time and that they were kissing and whispering (I heard one thing he said something like "that was so intense"). I pulled myself away from them and left them together, literally.

 

[SoonToBe]

I knew I was going to sleep alone again and it didn't matter to me. I felt good sharing their moment of pleasure in my own way. it didn't feel weird like I thought it might have. The door was still open to their bedroom as I lay down on my bed. I noticed it was now after 11pm and I was tired. I think I dozed off because the next thing I heard was murmuring and muffled voices and I saw that my bedroom door was closed, and then I saw that theirs was closed too and that it was now just after 2am. As I lay there I heard their conversation grow a bit louder but then heard them begin to go at it again. Hearing her softly moaning behind that closed door - knowing she was likely just laying there letting him fuck her - it drove me crazy - crazy enough to jerk-off one more time before I would lie there for another 30 minutes or so until the fun in the other room died back down.

 

[dana007]

STB
So i guess you both will have a lot to talk about, on wednesday night if you do the normal then.
keep us posted.

 

[SoonToBe]

Argh- still up with crap from work to tend to - so may as well finish here too for now.

I know I lay there for a while after it went quiet and it was a very weird time. I'll say that for a few moments there I questioned everything. But then other thoughts replaced them and I can genuinely say that I liked what we'd/she'd/they'd done. Or, yes, to put it another way, I felt very calm and yes, satisfied. I loved seeing her let go and knew it was for real that at that moment she was his. It was and still is hard to put into words. Of course it hurt in a way, but it felt good in so many other ways. I actually felt content and to be honest, I fell asleep without much effort.

We needed to check out on Sunday morning so we all agreed we needed to be up by about 8am at the latest.

Well, again I was awakened by the sound of Sue giggling in the hallway out side my door. I leaned over and opened it and I saw her walk back into the other bedroom and she was naked. Again, I don't know if she knew I saw her but Paul liked what he saw and from my room I could hear her giggling at him and saying "again?" and him asking her if she could take any more. I admit it was a crazy way to wake up hearing her say "yes" and then hearing them start to go at it.

I got up curiously and there she was, kneeling at the edge of the bed shaking her butt towards him. I think she smiled at me, at least in my mind she did. But a moment later her smile was replaced by this look of pleasure on her face as I turned to look and see Paul playing with her butt and slapping his cock against it raising squeals of laughter from her.

I was spent, after Saturday night and cumming a second time before falling asleep, I was content to just watch her get a quickie in with him. I knew he had the same plans as the day before - he wanted to meet his buddies for breakfast - so a quickie was all they had time for. And sure enough, with a little coaxing from again slapping his cock against her, I watched him as he unloaded in her one last time. I stayed in the doorway watching as he pulled her hips to him and held them there. I heard her moan softly and then watched him pull out of her. She got up on her knees and turned to hug and kiss him. And that was it! Even I felt a little let down that there wasn't a little more. LOL.

With that they both went into the bathroom and there was lots of giggling and such and I realized that they'd both gone in there naked - and somehow that thought just turned me on like crazy. I did give myself a stroke or two. I wanted to go in and watch them but I also knew that Paul wanted to be out earlier than we did. Still, what a feeling of angst I felt hearing the shower go on and hearing the two of them talking and not know if both or just one of them were in the shower. The whole scene with them and the bathroom is just intense to think back to as I really think it's almost more impactive to me than her fucking him - the only thing I can think of is that she is sharing things that we used to do together with him and it's just an amazing turn-on to me.

Despite all the arousal and fun listening, not long after the shower went off, Paul was ready to get out and back with his friends.

That left Sue and I alone for really the first time. She was still naked and I saw she was walking a little gingerly. When I asked if she was okay she smiled and said yes but added that "that was more for him than me I guess". I held her and we had a deep hug for a long time. We were again going to cook our last breakfast and she giggled and said she should get dressed and I brazenly asked her "why?" And so she was very careful cooking some eggs for us. I did the honors for some bacon and then we spent the next 30 minutes packing up, well, and her getting dressed!

We didn't have much time having slept in a bit and with her with Paul. Checkout time was 10am and we were in the car at 9:57 on our way to park near the lodge. To be honest we simply had no time to talk about anything that had happened. Instead, it was an amazing day skiing - followed by a hellish drive back.

I thought she might have been a bit playful with me tonight but she said that she wasn't ready for me just yet and said she hoped I understood. Turned out just as well as I am now finally also done with work. I expect to be home in the morning for a while and can share with you some of what we've already talked about - both on the long ride home as well as last night and a bit more tonight. I do love going to sleep horny for her.

 

[iome343]

Amazing!

And this sound very hot. She belonged to Paul, and you have to wait

she said that she wasn't ready for me just yet and said she hoped I understood.

 

[SoonToBe]

So - I have a lot of mixed thoughts as I'm sure everyone can understand.

After Paul left us Sunday morning, Sue and I skied together all day and it was a fun day - I know I was still buzzing sexually and she was feeling the same. She knew it had been a fun time for both of us even if it seemed a bit much at times. That I slept as well as I did was evidence of that, but really, all I can say is that I think we felt close to each other. I know she felt very comfortable with me - including at one point when we stopped skiing for a moment I saw her shifting around a little bit and she looked at me and giggled and said "I'm wet". That was all I needed to hear her say to make me hard. At lunch she came back from the bathroom and whispered to me that she had to "clean up a bit" - I know she said it to tweak me but it was also the truth.

It had been a long weekend and that drive home was hellish - we talked but not a lot. We were both pretty tired on Monday night and Sue did go see her parents for a bit too. Last night I was tied up with work stuff - so tonight - as Dana and others already know - will be when we finally have time. Indeed when she left to go into work this morning she was very amorous and hugged and kissed me and said that tonight was going to be fun...

So - as I said, I have a lot of mixed thoughts. One thing that I have now realized is already happening is that she has already almost cut me off sexually with her. It's been now almost a month since we made love last and I shared an orgasm with her. I knew she said that when it would happen that it would be something that just happened - and that's what I noticed, that it's just happened. It's now been weeks since I penetrated her and now that I am recognizing it I am I'm almost surprised that it's something that's "just happened". I guess maybe it's feeling sad about it, but at the same time it is something I never thought I could accept or endure and yet, here I am enjoying it. I almost wonder if she recognizes it?

If it's true, that she's really feeling this, that she no longer wants to feel me in her, that I want her to tell me that and explain it to me. I want to know how she's feeling and if this marks any escalation in anything with her and Paul. I have to say, I thought things were a bit colder between them than I'd thought I'd see. Not sure if it's the myopic viewpoint I have or my own recollections - I don't know if behind closed doors things were closer between them. I felt like Sue was more performing for him and I than necessarily enjoying it or really being into it. I know she was horny and that guided a lot of her desires and I think Paul was sly to make her wait for their real peak time together as a part of me was thinking that had he given her the Big-O on Friday night how would Saturday night have been. I don't want to pry into her relationship so I'm not going to ask those kinds of questions but I do want to be sure of what she's feeling.

It's all a bit confusing at times. A part of me so wants her, but another part of me - recognizing that I've already been largely cut off - now wants to see how it feels to let this play out and to see where she and he go to. It is nowhere near as difficult as I thought it would be to give up intercourse with her. I say that with a real puzzle in myself because it was something I'd so valued and now I truly seem content to masturbate with her or to thoughts of her and be just that, content.

Oh well - I am going to head into work now. I hope I haven't sounded to crazy but now that we're here, so to speak, it seems kind of surprising to me.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, thanks for that summary. I must say that your conclusions seem logical to me given all you have said this year so far. It seems almost like Sue is building to a crescendo of her own design that you can only witness and that Paul struggles to keep pace with. He is clearly struggling with his place. I suspect he is far out of his comfort zone and reacting blindly to some events resulting in his sometimes inappropriate actions. I wonder whether his lack of empathy is slowly turning Sue off. She must know now he is no Brad or Robert. Good but not good enough must implode at some point as he shows he can't sustain the course. All you have to do is offer support and keep your head down. Like a shooting star, this one will burn out, and at this rate sooner rather than later if Sue doesn't throttle back a bit. It may be a hit uncomfortable up close but from this distance it sure is interesting.

 

[Harry2614]

Steve, I wonder if you have read my posts #'s 260 & 261 (?) And do you have any confirming comments ?

Cheers, Harry

 

[golfman2315]

Steve as I mentioned before you and Sue's journey has been an epic tale and one that like a great movie needs to be enjoyed many times, so I have read almost every thread multiple times. With that being said I find that things with Paul have taken a much different path than with her other lovers. Obviously with each experience some things have changed from the previous but this one seems remarkable different to me.

So here is my question Do you think there any chance that Sue wants you to pull the plug on denial part and possible get back to more of a sharing relationship? I just wonder if this is a possibility because if you pull the plug then she wouldn't be the bad guy or feel guilty if you didn't fulfill all your desires. I don't think there is any question that she clearly enjoys the sex with Paul.

The reason I ask is because from the start as you two have traveled toward denial with Paul she has constantly and repeatedly asked " are you sure this is what you want"and "are you okay with this" with much more frequency than with any of her other lovers. The other thing is your journey up until this point seemed like a nice steeping stone path and with Paul since the first of the year things have be ramped up 10 fold. Why? Also everything seems to done so much in your face. All the sex in you'll's house, in your bed, wearing your robe, googly eyes and the ski weekends which if I recall she didn't ask you about the second one she told you. Heck the ski weekends were y'all's thing and now she wants him tagging along for no other reason than to fuck because it isn't that he skis with y'all. You could still be denied without him there. Last is the comments from Sue seems kind of out of character for her like "remember you started this" and "must you" and not to mention some of Paul's comments like "I'm not going to ask twice", "it might be late" and "you know what she really wants" and a lot more that he has said in front of her. I remember a few years ago her asking Don to be nicer and to include you more and he was a much more dominate personality than Paul. Also so many times in the past even when you guys tried denial you were often offered oral as a way to stay connected and that seems like it is off the table now. Look I don't mean for it to sound like a bash session on Sue because it isn't intended to be only to show you somethings that I have read that might support my suspicions. There is no doubt in my mind that her love for you might be deeper than any of us could have ever felt but it could also be a reason that someone might would not want to disappoint someone they love as well.

As I mentioned before I have truly enjoyed y'all's journey and very much look for to how it continues. I also hope your Wednesday night was a great one.

 

[Harry2614]

Golfman, I like your understanding and evaluation of the whole picture here. I too find that This chapter is represented as much more accelerated than previous liasions.
In the beginning, Sue hardly even liked the guy (Paul), and now she wants him to go on a skiing weekend, but not to ski with, (just sex). Don't seem logical to me after all I have read, and all I've learned of her personality and love for Steve.
Seems to me that it's Steve's urgency to experience what he wants that is driving this segment, not Sue's need for sex.
Cheers, Harry

 

[far2easy]

As long as you are aroused and horny about the sex they are having then the denial and you masturbating won't be too big of an issue, i completely understand. The more you all get used to her sexual preference is with Paul, right now, the easier and comfortable it will become. Curious to see how last night went.

 

[peakmb]

Harry, for a moment there I thought you had created a second log in with a new name. Only two posts and already he reads like you! I think you both need to factor in that this time it is Sue that is truly in charge. Maybe the previous times just didn't give her what she wanted and this time she's determined to get it. Even if she's going too fast at times. I think the mist will clear this month and we will all see it a bit clearer.

 

[SoonToBe]

Harry - no doubt that Sue is accelerating things, possibly because of me, possibly because my desire revealed or allowed her to realize her own desires.
And after last night, it's obvious to me that she's feeling conflicted and is trying to figure things out as I'll share.

I'd expected to have another "usual" Wednesday night and when I came to bed she was already there and I just assumed...
So - my surprise was when she pulled me to her and we began making out. The thing that was different was that there was real passion in her.
We kissed and it obviously progressed into what felt like foreplay. I pulled back for a moment and asked her what was going on. She pulled me to her and she said "I need to be with you". While I held her she told me that after this past weekend she felt some distance between us and that she felt she wanted to reconnect with me. I told her that she didn't need to do that for me and she insisted that it wasn't for me.

We talked for a few minutes and to answer some of what Harry and Golfman posted - she told me that she felt different about Paul and she seemed to be very up front (just as she was on the ride up on Friday) that she was really enjoying the sex with him. And she admitted that seeing him as much as she is (read that: fucking him as much as she is) that she gets very carried away with it all and she honestly said to me that the weeks where she sees him on Saturday and Tuesday, that she said she feels he fulfills her desires. But she said that after this past weekend, that she really felt that she needed to reconnect with me. I asked her if she wanted to have sex with me or whether she felt obligated to or that she needed to for some reason other than just wanting it. She hugged me and kissed me and said that she "wanted it" and she said that she wanted to feel me in her and she said "I want to cum with you tonight".

I had a fleeting thought that was squashed as she reached over her shoulder and handed me a condom, but there was no doubt in my eyes that she truly wanted to be with me. I didn't tell her the things I'd been thinking about how long it'd been since we'd had sex or those things nor did I ask what she was thinking about that as it was something that was definitely on her mind and was part of it.

It was the first time in a long time that it was me doing the seducing of her. It was so exciting to me to caress her myself - to feel her breasts and suck gently at them and hear her moan. It'll sound crazy but I'd almost forgotten how soft and sensual her pussy felt beneath my fingers. She didn't flinch when I went to go down on her and she was totally into it as I licked and sucked at her sweetness until I felt her orgasm and then could clearly taste and feel her pleasure. She was all glassy eyed from cumming as I pulled the condom onto my cock and rubbed it between her spread lips. I could almost feel how wet she was through the condom and she squealed like I haven't heard in weeks as I pushed into her gently.

I'm actually rock hard right now thinking of how different I must have felt pushing into her than Paul does. The head of my cock fits snugly into her vagina and then when I push, it's the shaft of my cock that stretches her open. She thrashed around beneath me as I pushed slowly into her and then pulled back only to do it again. It really felt awesome to reconnect with her and it so brought me the cuckold angst I'd longed to feel as I totally felt aroused and wicked horny to finally feel her again. She responded magnificently - putting her legs around me and even pulling me close with her arms around my back. I'd like to say that I lasted for hours - and I did last for quite a while but as I looked down at her and felt her pulling me closer and deeper, the feelings became too much and she knew it too, she could feel it too. I held out until I felt her just about to slip over into a big orgasm herself and that was it, when I felt her pussy start to spasm and clutch at my cock - I poured it on and fucked her hard until we both came. It'd been so long since I'd cum inside her when she was really into it that once I started, it seemed to never end and I felt like I squirted out a quart of cum. I collapsed against her and we were both breathing heavily.

No, it wasn't the Big-O for her, I knew we wouldn't share that. As we lay there with my cock still in her she hugged me and told me she loved me and that she said "I really needed that". We kissed and a moment later I felt myself start to slip out. She reached down and grabbed my cock and the condom on it and eased me out of her pussy and said "we don't want to make a mess now, do we?" and she slipped the condom off my now softened cock. She held it up and she giggled that there was a lot of cum in the tip and I told her that's what she gets for making me wait so long. She giggled and hugged me and asked me "was it good for you?" and I was honest and said it really was good - and it was.

After we cleaned up and got back into bed, it felt really nice between us, very much like old times - well, at least for me. As we lay there with the TV on I asked her if she was still into me continuing to use condoms with her. She held me and told me maybe and then said something about Paul and her still really feeling horny about him and how "you know, you using them really does make it special with Paul".

Needless to say - having had my blast with her, I slept like a baby last night!

Harry - after lunch I'll take a few moments to go back to your 2 posts, same for Golfman.

 

[Harry2614]

" Maybe the previous [lovers] just didn't give her what she wanted and this time she's determined to get it. Even if she's going too fast at times. I think the mist will clear this month and we will all see it a bit clearer."

No! as reported by Steve, her previous 'lovers' did give her all that she wanted (at the time), but there were obstacles.
Brad was married, Frank was a friend who didn't want to steal her from Steve, even though it appeared for a while that he could have.
Robert wanted children, and if Sue could, he would have wanted her even more.

This time those obstacles don't exist, and that may be why she has been, and still is, conflicted. And as "golfman" has pointed out, has asked Steve more than ever before, if he "still wants this."

Conflicted may really mean that she is weighing her options, and don't know what and how to decide. Perhaps we will know soon.

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Back to 260 and 261. For #260, you did capture things very well. I'll confess that last night, even in the midst of finally being with Sue again that thoughts of Paul fucking her were also in my mind arousing me and contributing to it. So yes, I suppose it is that I'm in a way living vicariously through Sue. But in thinking about it, it's not that I'm picturing myself as her, but rather her as someone very different sexually. 261 is also pretty on the mark - and I've said it all along, I do think that this is going to be something that Sue "grows out of". Perhaps not to the point where she won't want another guy at times, but I have never felt her wanting this as a true permanent/long-term thing. We still have lots of thoughts about retirement and travel when we're older and they don't include other guys coming with us.

Last night was really nice for me as it was nice to really feel her respond to me. She did say that she felt it more difficult to feel a sexual desire for me when she sees Paul twice a week and said that after seeing him on Tuesday, that by Friday she is horny but by then she also says she wants to wait for him. And Golfman - that leads right into your question. I don't think she necessarily wants me to pull the plug on this or that she feels she is doing this just to fulfill my desires. I know that my desires are surely part of what lets her do this, otherwise they'd just be a part of all of the other fantasies, possible, plausible or not, that she has (and has begun to reveal) - so if my being into this lets her have some of her own fantasies become real, then at this point, if this is how it's wound up, then I just want to let it play out. I think you may be saying that this denial-play is something she's doing for me, but I don't think so. She has continued to say how nice it is without the sexual tension she felt between us. I know that's something that I could simply stop doing, but I have to agree with her about the unexpected side-effects of this which may be good for us and at play in how it did feel to finally reconnect last night as we did.

Regarding the most recent changes in her. I think my coming out and telling her more that I want to be the beta-guy for her is where she's both picked up on and, I think, found some enjoyment or maybe better said to be that it excites her. Paul was a skier before he met us so this hasn't been where she's dragged him up there just for sex. Him staying with us this past weekend was something I wanted as much as she did. Even when they stay in our house, I have to say that while it feels like a pin pushed into my lower back at times, it also is incredibly arousing for me. I know she's picked upon that. If you ask me, she wants my continued reassurance that what she's doing is "good for me". I don't know if she's really becoming more dominant - that would be arousing if it did happen but I don't see her really going that far.

It feels so crazy and yet so hot to say that it's obvious Paul really has a way with her. Even I am amazed at how he can get her to have the whole "Big-O" in most any position when for me it's only happened in the missionary position. And I know in this area she's quite open about it that he really does do things for her. It's clear to me after this weekend that there's definitely an emotional gap between the 2 of them so that was heartening for me to see - but the other side was seeing him so masterfully fuck her and make her scream. So it doesn't really surprise me that when she's comfortable and "in the zone" that she says and does things that are a bit more up front and out there.

The other thing is that I think that if Paul joins us again, I expect the questions about "is this okay" will reduce, just as they have when he comes over our home. And, to be honest, it's friggin' arousing for me to hear her say or see her/him/them do things like they are.

 

[Harry2614]

"[Harry], For #260, you did capture things very well. I'll confess that last night, even in the midst of finally being with Sue again that thoughts of Paul fucking her were also in my mind arousing me and contributing to it. So yes, I suppose it is that I'm in a way, living vicariously through Sue....."

Don't you mean living vicariously through Paul? I did. I mean you wouldn't want to imply that Paul was fucking You, would you?

In all your writing, it seems that you 'must deny yourself' access to Sue, but you can have pleasure in the fact that another man becomes her lover.

I feel that you literally 'idolize,' and almost 'worship' Sue. That is what I understand anyway, from you saying how 'beautiful' she is when [He] (whoever He is at the time), makes her orgasm like she does. 'Giving her the "big 'O,' Like maybe [He] can do it better than you, (and, yes, she has even told you that [He] can). So then, you must become [Him] to give her what she needs. Or maybe that your 'not worthy' to give her the pleasure she wants?
Pardon me if I'm wrong, but there are times in your writing that you come across that way.

Does anyone else read it that way?

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Yes Harry - that's the way I was trying to say that I was taking it, not the alternative as you suggested.

Your second sentence is mostly correct - I wouldn't say that I "must" deny myself, but I would be lying if I said that it didn't somehow enhance things for me and yes, make them somehow, strangely more pleasurable and satisfying.

Of course I idolize and worship her - well, perhaps not literally but spiritually and emotionally. Yes. But I don't know that it's that I'm worshipping her or them when I extol about how I feel that it's kind of beautiful to watch. That's more just how I've come to feel about seeing her with him and knowing how she's feeling with him, desiring him sexually. I felt some of that desire last night and it really re-intensified how I feel knowing what she is sharing/giving him.

I don't think I mentally become him when I have sex with her. I think it certainly makes me so much more aware of what she IS sharing/giving him that is what makes it more intense for me, and intense for me to know that when we were done last night, that I"m not sure when I'll share that pleasure with her again. It's crazy but somehow knowing she will see that pleasure from him makes me feel strangely calm and content. Go figure....

 

[Harry2614]

"..But in thinking about it, it's not that I'm picturing myself as her, but rather her as someone very different sexually.

I'm confused. Do you mean then that you imagine that you are fucking someone else, not Sue? Or that she becomes someone different than she is in real life. Someone that is wild and free, desiring more sex than she does as your wife? Again, that is not how I read it in all that you have written.

"She has continued to say how nice it is without the sexual tension she felt between us. I know that's something that I could simply stop doing, but I have to agree with her about the unexpected side-effects of this which may be good for us and at play in how it did feel to finally reconnect last night as we did."

When she says it is nice without the sexual tension she feels from you it implies that she don’t want sex with you. Then how is it that she is willing to accept the sexual demands of another man, whether it's as a lover, or "just for sex.”
Perhaps it is that she can never sustain a long term sexual relationship with any man?

Cheers, Harry