Denial 2015
- Thread starterSoonToBe
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Steve, it's just dawned on me that you turning as beta as you have and Sue becoming the alpha has altered the shape of your thread. It has made all Sue's comments and intentions vital to any understanding of what is going to happen next. Your opinions on this are now just that after all. It alters the flavour of the narrative because we, and you, have to wait for Sue to decide before we can understand what will happen next.
Well, she got home about 10:30pm last night which actually wasn't too late considering. I was eagerly awaiting her to get home but as I'd said last night, I wasn't expecting anything really and didn't know what to expect.
She looked beautiful as always coming home after being with her boyfriend. Just something in her eyes and how she seemed to be - relaxed and pleased is all I could think of as she walked through the door. She hugged me and I hugged her back and she joked "miss me?" but she didn't need an answer.
We relaxed for a few minutes, I went out to the car and grabbed her overnight bag while she was fixing something in the kitchen. As I came in the house I suddenly got very aroused thinking that the bag I was holding held her clothes, undies and likely any lingerie from her time at Pauls. A part of me wanted to open the bag and look at each item but the other part of me wanted to get back to be with her so I put the bag down near the laundry room and went back up.
I talked with her for a bit in the kitchen and she was very friendly and talkative. I hugged her again and she hugged me back and she giggled and said that she'd had a "very nice time with Paul" and as we talked a bit more she smiled and said "he took very good care of me" and with that she kissed me and said "wouldn't you like to go upstairs?".
She asked me if I'd taken-care of myself on Tuesday night and she was all aglow when I told her that I had and I told her that it was after she'd called me and that I'd gotten horny thinking about her with him and how she was probably sleeping naked next to him. She smiled and said I was right and that she felt really comfortable with him like that. I know she said it that way because she knew it tweaked the heck out of me.
I wasn't so sure at first which way things were going to go but as she adopted more of a sexy teasing voice with me, I knew that it was going to follow our usual pattern. She asked me if I was still horny and I answered her honestly that I seemed to be ALWAYS horny now which made her smile and giggle and she said something like "let me see". I know I was hard when I pulled off my boxers and she seemed to like seeing it. She stood next to the bed and started to talk to me. She said thank-you to me for being so good about letting her be with Paul and again said that she liked how it felt to "share it with you" (meaning me). As she stood there she began to unbutton her top and I found myself staring at her eager to see her. I remember I used to describe this like being on a first-date and it so seemed that way again.
I felt my cock throb as she slid her top off and stood there in just her bra and jeans. I remembered her putting that bra in her bag the other morning and now it turned me on seeing her in it. She was all smiles as she reached behind her and unclipped her bra and she said very casually "Paul likes my breasts" and as they came into view she caressed them and played with her nipples and she added "... he likes my nipples too!". When she saw I was stroking away she giggled and taunted me and said "you'll get to play with them again some day....". I just moaned in response.
She sat at the edge of the bed, naked from the waist up and she said/asked "do you miss them baby?" and as she twisted her nipples to make them even harder she let out a sexy moan and then said in a sexy whisper "he was sucking on them just an hour ago..." and again all I could do was moan. She wasn't being mean, quite the opposite, she totally knew it was turning me on like crazy! I so wanted to reach out and touch them but at the same time, that she didn't want that was just so hot to think about.
After a moment she stood back up and she started to talk to me. She said that she loved spending time with Paul and loved how she felt being with him and she looked down at me and said "it's what I want" emphasizing the "I". As she glanced towards my now really stiff cock she smiled and said in this really sexy voice "... he makes me cum just how I like it...". Just like that. I think I started to shake I was so turned on by her standing there with her breasts staring down at me - thinking about what she'd said - but yes, my god, as I looked down her body all I could think was "...please take off those pants!!!....".
As she stood there she smiled at me and said "you just get to look baby... right?". And all I could really do was eagerly nod! She saw me staring and it was obvious she knew I was so horny "mmm, look how hard you are....." and then she said it again ".... so hot that you're not fucking me right now!". Just like that. And as she slid off her jeans she stood there in just her light-blue panties. "Can you see, they're wet" and with that she spread her legs and thrust her pussy forward to let me see the crotch was in-fact a darker color.
I so hoped she'd pull them off but instead, she sat back down next to me and teased me "we fucked a lot baby....". I managed to tell her "I thought so" and she said again quietly and really sexy "he really makes me cum baby" and she leaned towards me and asked "you like knowing that, don't you baby?" and it was really more of a rhetorical question as she didn't really want or need an answer. My grunt was enough.
She knew that it was a night when I really wanted her to tease me and not for her to push for me to talk to her. Even now I am wondering if she's moved past that - whether she just finally believes me - or maybe that she already knows.
With her panties still on she lay on the bed next to me and talked to me. She said all sort of things but she started by saying how nice Tuesday night was. I remember we had some crappy weather going on and she said that they stayed in and brought some chinese food in for dinner. It took me a minute to realize she was just teasing me as she told me what she had for dinner.
Finally she said that she was dessert and she told me how Paul undressed her and how he licked her till she came the first time for the night. It was just how she said it that made me feel so incredible. She told me how she liked his tongue and how comfortable she felt letting him lick her everywhere. It was just how she said it, truthful but also to just tease me.
She told me how she got changed into the lingerie she'd brought with her. And she told me how they spent some time lying together on his couch watching TV with him just caressing her body and feeling her all over. She took particular time to tell me that as she watched the TV that she felt his hands on her breasts as well as her pussy but that she just let him do what he wanted.
I was actually trying to not let myself cum too soon - not that I was so close yet but I also knew that from how she was talking to me that my mind would wander very frequently.
She told me that they went back into his bedroom and she looked right at me as she told me how they made love for several hours. She told me how she felt like she was truly his and how "natural" it felt for her to let herself go with him now. She told me how she sucked his cock and how she could taste his pre-cum "it's sweet, like yours used to taste to me". She also didn't miss an opportunity too - to remind me of what she would do with him as well as what he would do to her. She told me how he likes her on her knees and taunted me "... remember when I'd be right here like that with you?....".
I admit to losing myself in what she was saying. Fuck, I was so horny by then that everything she said seemed to really push my buttons - very much as I expected.
She told me that they were in the missonary position "... when he came in me the first time....". Fuck, just how she said it - even typing it right now has me on edge again.
She told me how they lay together afterwards and how "....he didn't care that I was making a mess on his bed....". And the whole time she still had her panties on. She toned it down a bit, I guess when I grunted and she turned to me and said "... then we got ready for bed..." I moaned as she knows that the sex is one thing but the thought of her with him in the bathroom as they wash up or she brushes her teeth or whatever. She leaned way down and whispered "... I even peed while he was washing up..." just to emphasize it!!!!! I know that I had to take my hand off my cock several times to hold it together.
I was so into it but at the same time, I knew she wasn't nearly done with teasing me. She looked down at my cock and gave me a smirk - I took it as her wanting me to last longer and I pulled my hand away for a moment and we both watched it lie there and throb. "We fucked one more time in bed and then went to sleep". Just like that, as if it were nothing. I stared at her and she giggled and said that they'd gotten back into bed naked and that she thought they'd be going to sleep but he pulled her towards him and she said she actually let him fuck her from behind as they spooned - "he felt really good in me from that angle" was all she said. I was too speechless to do anything other than moan and that was all she said!!!
The next thing she said was about waking up with him in the morning and how she was awake before he was and how she lay there next to him looking at him. "I don't love him baby". Which took me by surprise. "But I do love the sex with him". And she proceeded to taunt me even more as she told me how she lay there watching him wake up and how she snuggled up into his arms as they both lay there together for a few minutes.
"He washed my back in the shower" was the next thing I recall specifically but I know she'd said more about getting up and all of that but I admit, she knows what to say to me to get me going as hearing that, my cock grew rock hard and I stated to stroked it more intensely again.
But there was no sex in the morning. She took pleasure in telling me how "just like with you baby, we talked as I put my make up on and then got dressed". Fuck, so hot to hear her say it so nonchalantly.
Now we'd taken a break for a few moments here and there throughout all of this - and it wasn't more than maybe 20 minutes - but It was when she told me about their Wednesday night - before she came home - that was when she really poured it on. She told me how they met for a quick bite to eat at a little italian place and how she got changed into one of his dress-shirts when they got back to his place. I had wondered why her descriptions so far had been both so quick as well as so limited, but that was about to change.
She told me how he told her she looked sexy with just his shirt on and she told me that she told him he should take it off of her after which she described how she felt as he unbuttoned each button and then licked and sucked every bit of her that he uncovered. I heard how he licked her neck and then worked his way down her shoulders and then her breasts. And that was when she stood up and told me how he unbuttoned the shirt all the way. She stood right near me and playfully put her thumbs in her waistband and smiled and said "wanna see?". I eagerly nodded and as she tugged at them she said "we just finished before I left to come home". She pulled one side down and then pulled it back up and then the other. She said something like "he smiled when I didn't clean up before I came home". And as she did that she slid both thumbs in and slowly pulled her panties down. I heard her talking but couldn't take my eyes away from what she was uncovering. From my angle as she pulled them down slowly first her bare skin came into view and then I saw her clit peeking out from beneath its hood and it was darker pink and swollen. I watched her pussy lips come into view and they looked swollen and darkened too but as she pulled them down more, I could see the wet crotch was sticking to her and then pulled free leaving a stringy wetness behind. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe but I heard her say "looks like he left me a mess".
I hadn't even noticed that my hand had stopped moving on my cock but it had - and I think it was good that I did because I'd surely have cum just then. As she dropped the panties to the floor and stepped out of them, I couldn't take my eyes off her pussy that was now visible in all it's glory. As she stepped out of her panties I was staring so intently to not miss a thing. The next thing I remember isn't what I was seeing, it was what I was smelling. As she stood back up straight in front of me I smelled a strong smell of cum, that very tart almost acrid smell which I knew was from not cleaning up and my god, did it ever turn me on!!!
But it was what she did right after that that set me off but good. She looked down at me as I was so eagerly glued to her pussy and she said "remember what it looks like?....." and then she said it "but I'll bet you don't remember what it feels like do you?" She murmured and moaned a bit and then said "this IS what you wanted, isn't it?" again a rhetorical question, but this time I nodded yes and she smiled and even giggled and proceeded to sit next to me on the bed facing me. "Want to see it up close? You know... Like Paul does?"
I was absolutely on the edge and I know she knew it. "It's nice now, Paul's cock feels so good ..... and I'm now really used to it...." with a big smile on her face. She looked down at me as looked up and she said "it's still messy, you sure you want to see?". I nodded, struggling to do just that too. She smiled broadly and said nothing as she slid her right leg apart and let me see more and more of her pussy. From how she was sitting, not only did it show me more of her, but it spread her open a bit and I could see now much more clearly of just where he had her and from how swollen she looked, I could see clearly just how much he had her too! When she knew I was looking she shifted around and said "you can see more clearly if you want baby.... " and she sat back and just let me look at her. I was so close seeing her sitting like this next to me and I know she knew it. She smiled and said "I know something you want" and with that she let me watch her run her finger down one side of her pussy and then down the other, both times pausing at the bottom and pulling her vagina open just a little more. Only this second time I watched her push it in and then come out looking wet. She brought it up to my lips and when I tentatively stuck my tongue out she said in an erotic voice "he came a lot in me".
When I licked at her finger and I could in fact taste something very tart that matched the smell in the air - the moment I realized what I was licking off her finger, his cum, I started to moan louder and louder and I knew with the next thing she'd say that I'd cum myself. Sure enough she cooed at me "come on baby, let me see you cum". That was it - she could have said "we need bread at the store" and I'd have likely cum just the same! It was just an very intense moment. I know I grunted out loud and geez, at least 5 or 6 good sized ropes of cum later she did lay down next to me and she gently rubbed her breasts against my arm as I caught my breath as she leaned in and kissed my ear and said she loved me.
When I caught my breath, I looked up and she'd pulled her panties back up and was about to sit back down next to me. "I love watching you cum baby" was all she said and she smiled and I knew what to expect next as she played with my cum and began to push it together. As she scooped up one fingerful and then another she told me how she liked how things were right now and again leaned in and kissed me and shared a taste of my cum and said "thank you for letting me work all this out honey". She waited till she came back to bed to put her night-shirt on so I enjoyed getting cleaned up with her and I even told her that it turned me on how she'd done this "with him". She smiled and hugged me and we really didn't talk too much more about things, to be honest, my brain and my cock were tired.
This morning, we resumed exactly how we were - from prancing around naked after her shower to a nice kiss before we both got to work. The day was crazy so it took me till now to finish things, I'm sure these last few paragraphs read differently than what I had time for earlier today. She's out at her parents right now - I didn't tell her but I'm thinking that is what she does when maybe she's feeling guilty in another way... lol
She looked beautiful as always coming home after being with her boyfriend. Just something in her eyes and how she seemed to be - relaxed and pleased is all I could think of as she walked through the door. She hugged me and I hugged her back and she joked "miss me?" but she didn't need an answer.
We relaxed for a few minutes, I went out to the car and grabbed her overnight bag while she was fixing something in the kitchen. As I came in the house I suddenly got very aroused thinking that the bag I was holding held her clothes, undies and likely any lingerie from her time at Pauls. A part of me wanted to open the bag and look at each item but the other part of me wanted to get back to be with her so I put the bag down near the laundry room and went back up.
I talked with her for a bit in the kitchen and she was very friendly and talkative. I hugged her again and she hugged me back and she giggled and said that she'd had a "very nice time with Paul" and as we talked a bit more she smiled and said "he took very good care of me" and with that she kissed me and said "wouldn't you like to go upstairs?".
She asked me if I'd taken-care of myself on Tuesday night and she was all aglow when I told her that I had and I told her that it was after she'd called me and that I'd gotten horny thinking about her with him and how she was probably sleeping naked next to him. She smiled and said I was right and that she felt really comfortable with him like that. I know she said it that way because she knew it tweaked the heck out of me.
I wasn't so sure at first which way things were going to go but as she adopted more of a sexy teasing voice with me, I knew that it was going to follow our usual pattern. She asked me if I was still horny and I answered her honestly that I seemed to be ALWAYS horny now which made her smile and giggle and she said something like "let me see". I know I was hard when I pulled off my boxers and she seemed to like seeing it. She stood next to the bed and started to talk to me. She said thank-you to me for being so good about letting her be with Paul and again said that she liked how it felt to "share it with you" (meaning me). As she stood there she began to unbutton her top and I found myself staring at her eager to see her. I remember I used to describe this like being on a first-date and it so seemed that way again.
I felt my cock throb as she slid her top off and stood there in just her bra and jeans. I remembered her putting that bra in her bag the other morning and now it turned me on seeing her in it. She was all smiles as she reached behind her and unclipped her bra and she said very casually "Paul likes my breasts" and as they came into view she caressed them and played with her nipples and she added "... he likes my nipples too!". When she saw I was stroking away she giggled and taunted me and said "you'll get to play with them again some day....". I just moaned in response.
She sat at the edge of the bed, naked from the waist up and she said/asked "do you miss them baby?" and as she twisted her nipples to make them even harder she let out a sexy moan and then said in a sexy whisper "he was sucking on them just an hour ago..." and again all I could do was moan. She wasn't being mean, quite the opposite, she totally knew it was turning me on like crazy! I so wanted to reach out and touch them but at the same time, that she didn't want that was just so hot to think about.
After a moment she stood back up and she started to talk to me. She said that she loved spending time with Paul and loved how she felt being with him and she looked down at me and said "it's what I want" emphasizing the "I". As she glanced towards my now really stiff cock she smiled and said in this really sexy voice "... he makes me cum just how I like it...". Just like that. I think I started to shake I was so turned on by her standing there with her breasts staring down at me - thinking about what she'd said - but yes, my god, as I looked down her body all I could think was "...please take off those pants!!!....".
As she stood there she smiled at me and said "you just get to look baby... right?". And all I could really do was eagerly nod! She saw me staring and it was obvious she knew I was so horny "mmm, look how hard you are....." and then she said it again ".... so hot that you're not fucking me right now!". Just like that. And as she slid off her jeans she stood there in just her light-blue panties. "Can you see, they're wet" and with that she spread her legs and thrust her pussy forward to let me see the crotch was in-fact a darker color.
I so hoped she'd pull them off but instead, she sat back down next to me and teased me "we fucked a lot baby....". I managed to tell her "I thought so" and she said again quietly and really sexy "he really makes me cum baby" and she leaned towards me and asked "you like knowing that, don't you baby?" and it was really more of a rhetorical question as she didn't really want or need an answer. My grunt was enough.
She knew that it was a night when I really wanted her to tease me and not for her to push for me to talk to her. Even now I am wondering if she's moved past that - whether she just finally believes me - or maybe that she already knows.
With her panties still on she lay on the bed next to me and talked to me. She said all sort of things but she started by saying how nice Tuesday night was. I remember we had some crappy weather going on and she said that they stayed in and brought some chinese food in for dinner. It took me a minute to realize she was just teasing me as she told me what she had for dinner.
Finally she said that she was dessert and she told me how Paul undressed her and how he licked her till she came the first time for the night. It was just how she said it that made me feel so incredible. She told me how she liked his tongue and how comfortable she felt letting him lick her everywhere. It was just how she said it, truthful but also to just tease me.
She told me how she got changed into the lingerie she'd brought with her. And she told me how they spent some time lying together on his couch watching TV with him just caressing her body and feeling her all over. She took particular time to tell me that as she watched the TV that she felt his hands on her breasts as well as her pussy but that she just let him do what he wanted.
I was actually trying to not let myself cum too soon - not that I was so close yet but I also knew that from how she was talking to me that my mind would wander very frequently.
She told me that they went back into his bedroom and she looked right at me as she told me how they made love for several hours. She told me how she felt like she was truly his and how "natural" it felt for her to let herself go with him now. She told me how she sucked his cock and how she could taste his pre-cum "it's sweet, like yours used to taste to me". She also didn't miss an opportunity too - to remind me of what she would do with him as well as what he would do to her. She told me how he likes her on her knees and taunted me "... remember when I'd be right here like that with you?....".
I admit to losing myself in what she was saying. Fuck, I was so horny by then that everything she said seemed to really push my buttons - very much as I expected.
She told me that they were in the missonary position "... when he came in me the first time....". Fuck, just how she said it - even typing it right now has me on edge again.
She told me how they lay together afterwards and how "....he didn't care that I was making a mess on his bed....". And the whole time she still had her panties on. She toned it down a bit, I guess when I grunted and she turned to me and said "... then we got ready for bed..." I moaned as she knows that the sex is one thing but the thought of her with him in the bathroom as they wash up or she brushes her teeth or whatever. She leaned way down and whispered "... I even peed while he was washing up..." just to emphasize it!!!!! I know that I had to take my hand off my cock several times to hold it together.
I was so into it but at the same time, I knew she wasn't nearly done with teasing me. She looked down at my cock and gave me a smirk - I took it as her wanting me to last longer and I pulled my hand away for a moment and we both watched it lie there and throb. "We fucked one more time in bed and then went to sleep". Just like that, as if it were nothing. I stared at her and she giggled and said that they'd gotten back into bed naked and that she thought they'd be going to sleep but he pulled her towards him and she said she actually let him fuck her from behind as they spooned - "he felt really good in me from that angle" was all she said. I was too speechless to do anything other than moan and that was all she said!!!
The next thing she said was about waking up with him in the morning and how she was awake before he was and how she lay there next to him looking at him. "I don't love him baby". Which took me by surprise. "But I do love the sex with him". And she proceeded to taunt me even more as she told me how she lay there watching him wake up and how she snuggled up into his arms as they both lay there together for a few minutes.
"He washed my back in the shower" was the next thing I recall specifically but I know she'd said more about getting up and all of that but I admit, she knows what to say to me to get me going as hearing that, my cock grew rock hard and I stated to stroked it more intensely again.
But there was no sex in the morning. She took pleasure in telling me how "just like with you baby, we talked as I put my make up on and then got dressed". Fuck, so hot to hear her say it so nonchalantly.
Now we'd taken a break for a few moments here and there throughout all of this - and it wasn't more than maybe 20 minutes - but It was when she told me about their Wednesday night - before she came home - that was when she really poured it on. She told me how they met for a quick bite to eat at a little italian place and how she got changed into one of his dress-shirts when they got back to his place. I had wondered why her descriptions so far had been both so quick as well as so limited, but that was about to change.
She told me how he told her she looked sexy with just his shirt on and she told me that she told him he should take it off of her after which she described how she felt as he unbuttoned each button and then licked and sucked every bit of her that he uncovered. I heard how he licked her neck and then worked his way down her shoulders and then her breasts. And that was when she stood up and told me how he unbuttoned the shirt all the way. She stood right near me and playfully put her thumbs in her waistband and smiled and said "wanna see?". I eagerly nodded and as she tugged at them she said "we just finished before I left to come home". She pulled one side down and then pulled it back up and then the other. She said something like "he smiled when I didn't clean up before I came home". And as she did that she slid both thumbs in and slowly pulled her panties down. I heard her talking but couldn't take my eyes away from what she was uncovering. From my angle as she pulled them down slowly first her bare skin came into view and then I saw her clit peeking out from beneath its hood and it was darker pink and swollen. I watched her pussy lips come into view and they looked swollen and darkened too but as she pulled them down more, I could see the wet crotch was sticking to her and then pulled free leaving a stringy wetness behind. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe but I heard her say "looks like he left me a mess".
I hadn't even noticed that my hand had stopped moving on my cock but it had - and I think it was good that I did because I'd surely have cum just then. As she dropped the panties to the floor and stepped out of them, I couldn't take my eyes off her pussy that was now visible in all it's glory. As she stepped out of her panties I was staring so intently to not miss a thing. The next thing I remember isn't what I was seeing, it was what I was smelling. As she stood back up straight in front of me I smelled a strong smell of cum, that very tart almost acrid smell which I knew was from not cleaning up and my god, did it ever turn me on!!!
But it was what she did right after that that set me off but good. She looked down at me as I was so eagerly glued to her pussy and she said "remember what it looks like?....." and then she said it "but I'll bet you don't remember what it feels like do you?" She murmured and moaned a bit and then said "this IS what you wanted, isn't it?" again a rhetorical question, but this time I nodded yes and she smiled and even giggled and proceeded to sit next to me on the bed facing me. "Want to see it up close? You know... Like Paul does?"
I was absolutely on the edge and I know she knew it. "It's nice now, Paul's cock feels so good ..... and I'm now really used to it...." with a big smile on her face. She looked down at me as looked up and she said "it's still messy, you sure you want to see?". I nodded, struggling to do just that too. She smiled broadly and said nothing as she slid her right leg apart and let me see more and more of her pussy. From how she was sitting, not only did it show me more of her, but it spread her open a bit and I could see now much more clearly of just where he had her and from how swollen she looked, I could see clearly just how much he had her too! When she knew I was looking she shifted around and said "you can see more clearly if you want baby.... " and she sat back and just let me look at her. I was so close seeing her sitting like this next to me and I know she knew it. She smiled and said "I know something you want" and with that she let me watch her run her finger down one side of her pussy and then down the other, both times pausing at the bottom and pulling her vagina open just a little more. Only this second time I watched her push it in and then come out looking wet. She brought it up to my lips and when I tentatively stuck my tongue out she said in an erotic voice "he came a lot in me".
When I licked at her finger and I could in fact taste something very tart that matched the smell in the air - the moment I realized what I was licking off her finger, his cum, I started to moan louder and louder and I knew with the next thing she'd say that I'd cum myself. Sure enough she cooed at me "come on baby, let me see you cum". That was it - she could have said "we need bread at the store" and I'd have likely cum just the same! It was just an very intense moment. I know I grunted out loud and geez, at least 5 or 6 good sized ropes of cum later she did lay down next to me and she gently rubbed her breasts against my arm as I caught my breath as she leaned in and kissed my ear and said she loved me.
When I caught my breath, I looked up and she'd pulled her panties back up and was about to sit back down next to me. "I love watching you cum baby" was all she said and she smiled and I knew what to expect next as she played with my cum and began to push it together. As she scooped up one fingerful and then another she told me how she liked how things were right now and again leaned in and kissed me and shared a taste of my cum and said "thank you for letting me work all this out honey". She waited till she came back to bed to put her night-shirt on so I enjoyed getting cleaned up with her and I even told her that it turned me on how she'd done this "with him". She smiled and hugged me and we really didn't talk too much more about things, to be honest, my brain and my cock were tired.
This morning, we resumed exactly how we were - from prancing around naked after her shower to a nice kiss before we both got to work. The day was crazy so it took me till now to finish things, I'm sure these last few paragraphs read differently than what I had time for earlier today. She's out at her parents right now - I didn't tell her but I'm thinking that is what she does when maybe she's feeling guilty in another way... lol
I need to head into the office today but had to post an update here about last night.
When she got home last night from her parents it was just about 9pm and almost immediately the conversation began with her asking me "how did you like last night?" and me answering her "it was amazing - what was that all about?".
Let me just say that she said many things that I found quite revealing including the most significant of what Peak had already picked up on, that she doesn't want to be the "weak one" any more. But she also said that it wasn't easy for her to take that role last night and she admitted that she wanted to make sure I knew exactly what she was doing without me. I told her that I was really awakened by her attitude and she smiled and said that's part of what she wants to change for her and as she said it "for us". I told her again that it was amazing and she said that once she got herself started, that it was easier and she said that she enjoyed teasing me like she had and seeing me go from just horny to almost bursting at the end.
I asked her if that was what she wanted and yes, I asked her if it was too sexual for what she'd wanted for us. She said no, that it was okay as she enjoyed teasing me and showing herself off to me and that she liked that she could do all of that without having to have sex with me and that we could both enjoy that.
I need to head off to work but I am going to say it again that I wonder how many times, even before we started with other guys, but I wonder how many times she might have rather just masturbated or, maybe just teased me an encouraged me to do so all these years instead of moving to us having sex together.
She shared quite a bit more about just that - this feeling of pressure she keeps talking about. Quite interesting. Actually very interesting hearing her try to explain it. I suppose in most ways, I'm much simpler to understand than she is, but isn't that true in general. But I can actually sort of understand what she wants and how it's changed over the past few years to what it is now.
The last thing I'll share is that even though it's a little uncomfortable (yes, still, at times) to own up to it, when we do talk and can really talk, the way I know that I feel (and I"m sure she does) afterwards is almost better than sex. My honest thought is that who cares who is fucking her when I know she will only talk like we do with just me. Something that makes me say even if it takes longer than I thought, for her to feel this way and to let me know it, well, it's okay, it's part of being her husband and enjoying it too. If anything, it's easier to let it happen.
When she got home last night from her parents it was just about 9pm and almost immediately the conversation began with her asking me "how did you like last night?" and me answering her "it was amazing - what was that all about?".
Let me just say that she said many things that I found quite revealing including the most significant of what Peak had already picked up on, that she doesn't want to be the "weak one" any more. But she also said that it wasn't easy for her to take that role last night and she admitted that she wanted to make sure I knew exactly what she was doing without me. I told her that I was really awakened by her attitude and she smiled and said that's part of what she wants to change for her and as she said it "for us". I told her again that it was amazing and she said that once she got herself started, that it was easier and she said that she enjoyed teasing me like she had and seeing me go from just horny to almost bursting at the end.
I asked her if that was what she wanted and yes, I asked her if it was too sexual for what she'd wanted for us. She said no, that it was okay as she enjoyed teasing me and showing herself off to me and that she liked that she could do all of that without having to have sex with me and that we could both enjoy that.
I need to head off to work but I am going to say it again that I wonder how many times, even before we started with other guys, but I wonder how many times she might have rather just masturbated or, maybe just teased me an encouraged me to do so all these years instead of moving to us having sex together.
She shared quite a bit more about just that - this feeling of pressure she keeps talking about. Quite interesting. Actually very interesting hearing her try to explain it. I suppose in most ways, I'm much simpler to understand than she is, but isn't that true in general. But I can actually sort of understand what she wants and how it's changed over the past few years to what it is now.
The last thing I'll share is that even though it's a little uncomfortable (yes, still, at times) to own up to it, when we do talk and can really talk, the way I know that I feel (and I"m sure she does) afterwards is almost better than sex. My honest thought is that who cares who is fucking her when I know she will only talk like we do with just me. Something that makes me say even if it takes longer than I thought, for her to feel this way and to let me know it, well, it's okay, it's part of being her husband and enjoying it too. If anything, it's easier to let it happen.
Steve,
I can see that you are having a great time still at the moment. The pain of denial has not yet increased to even partly erase the joy of being treated in this way by Sue, who similarly seems to have no regrets about continuing on the route she has started. It seems there is some time yet before burnout, and much joy for Paul as a consequence. I still can't get out of my head though that there will be a burnout at some time, and a transition. Sue is obviously trying to reprogram herself to act differently in future, even though she still seems to see that future with you as a full lover. At least at the moment. Similarly, she is trying to reprogram you to act differently in future, beginning now where you can see but not touch, a common start point in many marriage sex guidance routines. We now know she is wanting to retain some of her alpha powers after the transition, I'm sure she will share more as it all becomes clearer for her, but what niggles me is where is YOUR aim point, your behavioural goal set by Sue, the point where she will consider casting adrift her odd shaped human dildo and happily transfer back to her improved husband. Has she not shared any of the expected position she is wanting?
I can see that you are having a great time still at the moment. The pain of denial has not yet increased to even partly erase the joy of being treated in this way by Sue, who similarly seems to have no regrets about continuing on the route she has started. It seems there is some time yet before burnout, and much joy for Paul as a consequence. I still can't get out of my head though that there will be a burnout at some time, and a transition. Sue is obviously trying to reprogram herself to act differently in future, even though she still seems to see that future with you as a full lover. At least at the moment. Similarly, she is trying to reprogram you to act differently in future, beginning now where you can see but not touch, a common start point in many marriage sex guidance routines. We now know she is wanting to retain some of her alpha powers after the transition, I'm sure she will share more as it all becomes clearer for her, but what niggles me is where is YOUR aim point, your behavioural goal set by Sue, the point where she will consider casting adrift her odd shaped human dildo and happily transfer back to her improved husband. Has she not shared any of the expected position she is wanting?
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Peak, I agree with your assessment, and also have a few of the same questions. I already have the sneaky suspicion that Steve is going to have to step up his game in the future to seduce Sue. I don't think things will go back to where sex is a foregone conclusion, even when Sue is in the mood. Steve is going to have to work for it.
I too, think Sue has to already have at least a partial picture of how she wants things to be after the transition. Her desire to no longer be "the weak one" could mean many differing things. I mean, she has already proven that Paul does not have to be the alpha to Steve's beta, Sue assumed that role. I know it is speculation, but it is entirely possible for Sue to end Steve's denial while still maintaining his beta status, and ending things with Paul at the same time.
I get that Steve is truly enjoying his current status now, and I believe Sue is planning an even bigger gift for him at some point. What has me curious is the level at which Sue seems to be taking things. Sure there is the teasing that she knows Steve enjoys hearing, and the physical shape of her body after Paul has her. There just seems to be a bit more on some things though, like some of the " in your face stuff" as explained by Steve, is more like a punishment of sorts. I could be wrong on that.
I too, think Sue has to already have at least a partial picture of how she wants things to be after the transition. Her desire to no longer be "the weak one" could mean many differing things. I mean, she has already proven that Paul does not have to be the alpha to Steve's beta, Sue assumed that role. I know it is speculation, but it is entirely possible for Sue to end Steve's denial while still maintaining his beta status, and ending things with Paul at the same time.
I get that Steve is truly enjoying his current status now, and I believe Sue is planning an even bigger gift for him at some point. What has me curious is the level at which Sue seems to be taking things. Sure there is the teasing that she knows Steve enjoys hearing, and the physical shape of her body after Paul has her. There just seems to be a bit more on some things though, like some of the " in your face stuff" as explained by Steve, is more like a punishment of sorts. I could be wrong on that.
I had to laugh and wonder if either of you have been eavesdropping on our conversations here because each of you have said things that resonate with what she's saying. I don't know where it's going or when it will get there but I believe you have both made points that even now after just a few weeks, I can agree with.
When we talk, like me, she says it's difficult to figure out how to say exactly what it is that turns her on or is pushing her towards doing this. What she did say was that she liked the feeling of control that she had when she knew I wouldn't touch her and she admitted she let herself enjoy showing off to me so explicitly. I told her that was a surprise to me and she said it was a surprise to her but that it felt good that she could feel and do what she wanted and she said it - "like when I came in your room when we were away skiing" and I knew what she meant. What I get out of what she's saying to me is that what Peak called reprogramming. She told me that knowing we aren't going to have sex right now, that she feels that she can really let herself go and while she hasn't said it in so many words, she's said that she wants me to see her and that she feels much more at ease. But I really got out of it was that she wants to feel that she can be and do this with me and even though she knows I am horny (obviously!), that she wants to get past where she feels that as my wife, that if I am horny, that she should be there for me sexually.
I know I could take her aside and tell her that I won't initiate sex with her unless she's ready and all of that, but at the same time, I sort of get what she's feeling and looking back I can, as I said, see a lot of times when I think maybe she would have rather not had sex with me but did so anyway - and yes, even though we both totally enjoyed it, she has this thing where she doesn't want to feel that almost obligation. She's said it several different ways now so I am really starting to get that it's in her head and not necessarily even something I am doing.
The way she talks about Paul with me has changed too. I laughed at how you called it her odd-shaped-human-dildo - but in a way, I think that is really what he is for her. Maybe its a good thing. A part of me is thinking that maybe she liked him because he wasn't going to push her.
I will say that I am starting to feel the denial though. Seeing her the other night and even just seeing her normally in our bedroom getting changed or whatever, I am very much becoming aware that while my hand and her teasing are really satisfying, that I am definitely starting to miss the feeling of being in her. I saw the condoms that were still in her nightstand and I had the fleeting thought that even they were okay as I still got to feel her and feel her respond with me.
But yet at the same time, she really did push my buttons and my god - did she ever. I am sure she saw that the in-your-face teasing worked as I think back and I feel almost like I was drugged as I watched her. My god does she ever turn me on. That her body will only be shared with him is such a turn on, it's a crazy feeling to see her and feel the intensity between us but at the same time know that I am just supposed to look and enjoy myself.
I guess she is giving me what I'd asked for, her to return to how she was when we first met. I so recall she knew what she wanted sexually, I loved seeing that in her back then, my god is it such a turn on to see her realize it too.
Can she be the alpha and me be the beta if it goes back to just us, with months of experience and memories and with her enjoying taking an alpha role, it's very possible. I've always told her okay when she's said that she thinks she will always have a lover in the future, maybe that's where this is heading? I don't know.
When we talk, like me, she says it's difficult to figure out how to say exactly what it is that turns her on or is pushing her towards doing this. What she did say was that she liked the feeling of control that she had when she knew I wouldn't touch her and she admitted she let herself enjoy showing off to me so explicitly. I told her that was a surprise to me and she said it was a surprise to her but that it felt good that she could feel and do what she wanted and she said it - "like when I came in your room when we were away skiing" and I knew what she meant. What I get out of what she's saying to me is that what Peak called reprogramming. She told me that knowing we aren't going to have sex right now, that she feels that she can really let herself go and while she hasn't said it in so many words, she's said that she wants me to see her and that she feels much more at ease. But I really got out of it was that she wants to feel that she can be and do this with me and even though she knows I am horny (obviously!), that she wants to get past where she feels that as my wife, that if I am horny, that she should be there for me sexually.
I know I could take her aside and tell her that I won't initiate sex with her unless she's ready and all of that, but at the same time, I sort of get what she's feeling and looking back I can, as I said, see a lot of times when I think maybe she would have rather not had sex with me but did so anyway - and yes, even though we both totally enjoyed it, she has this thing where she doesn't want to feel that almost obligation. She's said it several different ways now so I am really starting to get that it's in her head and not necessarily even something I am doing.
The way she talks about Paul with me has changed too. I laughed at how you called it her odd-shaped-human-dildo - but in a way, I think that is really what he is for her. Maybe its a good thing. A part of me is thinking that maybe she liked him because he wasn't going to push her.
I will say that I am starting to feel the denial though. Seeing her the other night and even just seeing her normally in our bedroom getting changed or whatever, I am very much becoming aware that while my hand and her teasing are really satisfying, that I am definitely starting to miss the feeling of being in her. I saw the condoms that were still in her nightstand and I had the fleeting thought that even they were okay as I still got to feel her and feel her respond with me.
But yet at the same time, she really did push my buttons and my god - did she ever. I am sure she saw that the in-your-face teasing worked as I think back and I feel almost like I was drugged as I watched her. My god does she ever turn me on. That her body will only be shared with him is such a turn on, it's a crazy feeling to see her and feel the intensity between us but at the same time know that I am just supposed to look and enjoy myself.
I guess she is giving me what I'd asked for, her to return to how she was when we first met. I so recall she knew what she wanted sexually, I loved seeing that in her back then, my god is it such a turn on to see her realize it too.
Can she be the alpha and me be the beta if it goes back to just us, with months of experience and memories and with her enjoying taking an alpha role, it's very possible. I've always told her okay when she's said that she thinks she will always have a lover in the future, maybe that's where this is heading? I don't know.
Peak - I'm sorry, I didn't understand your question. I think you were either asking if she's defined when she feels she'll have come to terms with whatever she's feeling and wanting right now, or if you were asking whether she's defined how she would like things between us, or just me, to be at that time.
If I had to take a guess at the timeframe, I'm thinking she will see how things are in another month when our kids come home at the end of May. Part of me thinks like Jax, where things might change then and begin some new dynamics between us. Or, it will endure through the summer with the obvious questions/schedules issues. I do expect that it's not going to be an immediate return to me. Jax may have implied that I will need to compete to seduce her, not so sure about that, but I do expect some reset of our sexual dynamics. Perhaps in the end, she'll do just as Jax suggested, make me the beta even when there is no alpha male.
We're about to head out and visit some friends so going to cut this short here for now.
If I had to take a guess at the timeframe, I'm thinking she will see how things are in another month when our kids come home at the end of May. Part of me thinks like Jax, where things might change then and begin some new dynamics between us. Or, it will endure through the summer with the obvious questions/schedules issues. I do expect that it's not going to be an immediate return to me. Jax may have implied that I will need to compete to seduce her, not so sure about that, but I do expect some reset of our sexual dynamics. Perhaps in the end, she'll do just as Jax suggested, make me the beta even when there is no alpha male.
We're about to head out and visit some friends so going to cut this short here for now.
Steve,
Those remain the questions. If you really think that the end of May is a possibility then you really need a realistic aiming point for your changes in behaviour. There is little doubt that Sue intends to remain the alpha. Paul never was and never will be. He performs on command, quite well perhaps but strictly on Sue's timetable. Again, on the May timetable, there is no way that Sue is going to dump Paul and then continue to deny you. Not because she wants to switch back maybe (although that may be true) but because to do so she would be denying herself and she will not be wanting to go without good sex for the sake of it. Sue is in control and will remain so. There is zero possibility that she has not planned out where she wants you and her to be in five weeks time if that is indeed when she winds Paul down, or stops visiting him overnight. So either she hasn't shared it yet or she there is another plan in place, again yet to be revealed. Think it through. I'm sure Sue has.
Those remain the questions. If you really think that the end of May is a possibility then you really need a realistic aiming point for your changes in behaviour. There is little doubt that Sue intends to remain the alpha. Paul never was and never will be. He performs on command, quite well perhaps but strictly on Sue's timetable. Again, on the May timetable, there is no way that Sue is going to dump Paul and then continue to deny you. Not because she wants to switch back maybe (although that may be true) but because to do so she would be denying herself and she will not be wanting to go without good sex for the sake of it. Sue is in control and will remain so. There is zero possibility that she has not planned out where she wants you and her to be in five weeks time if that is indeed when she winds Paul down, or stops visiting him overnight. So either she hasn't shared it yet or she there is another plan in place, again yet to be revealed. Think it through. I'm sure Sue has.
Peak - I don't think either of us have an end-date yet in sight. I really do think Sue is dealing with some things that she needs to figure out on her own. Last night she did come out and tell me that there have been times in our past - she mentioned many of her past boyfriends, Brad, Don, Frank and whoever else - when she said she had sex with me afterwards that she now says she wouldn't have. We have obviously continued talking but other than generalities, she hasn't set any such target date yet.
What does come across to me very strongly is that she's feeling like she hasn't been honest with herself. She hasn't said it in so many words but I think being with other guys as we've been doing now for a few years and the most recent changes with me admitting I wanted more of a beta-role, I think Peak and others, you are right, she has taken the alpha role herself, not given it to another guy.
I had written many times about how Sue was when I first met her. Granted it was during a somewhat promiscuous phase of her life after her first short-lived marriage. But that was why we were setup in the first place, I was going through my own divorce and the guys pushed me towards Sue and told me I'd surely get laid. And as I've said, that was what was so refreshing to me after my own prudish first-wife, that here was a hot sexy girl who liked and knew what she liked in sex and wasn't afraid to ask or get it. I knew she'd had sex with several guys at work and was still doing so with another guy when we first started dating. Of course I loved the person she was and still is - more than anything. I think I even said that this was something I'd hoped to uncover and bring back out in her, that it's manifested itself in this way - my denial and her rediscovery of herself - is a bit surprising, I don't know that I anticipated this exactly but now that it's here, it's quite exciting. I don't think this is what she thought she would uncover either.
I will also say now, that every time I masturbate with her or alone that I am starting to really feel the denial. She hit it on the head last week when she teased me about not feeling her pussy or any pussy. It turned me on at the time and still does - but at the same time, I am very much beginning to feel like I am missing it even more. I find myself longing for that warm wetness and the feeling of her pussy stroking the whole length of my cock. But at the same time, the other side of that feeling of missing it is an insane arousal at thinking about just Paul feeling her like that.
I had written many times about how Sue was when I first met her. Granted it was during a somewhat promiscuous phase of her life after her first short-lived marriage. But that was why we were setup in the first place, I was going through my own divorce and the guys pushed me towards Sue and told me I'd surely get laid. And as I've said, that was what was so refreshing to me after my own prudish first-wife, that here was a hot sexy girl who liked and knew what she liked in sex and wasn't afraid to ask or get it. I knew she'd had sex with several guys at work and was still doing so with another guy when we first started dating. Of course I loved the person she was and still is - more than anything. I think I even said that this was something I'd hoped to uncover and bring back out in her, that it's manifested itself in this way - my denial and her rediscovery of herself - is a bit surprising, I don't know that I anticipated this exactly but now that it's here, it's quite exciting. I don't think this is what she thought she would uncover either.
I will also say now, that every time I masturbate with her or alone that I am starting to really feel the denial. She hit it on the head last week when she teased me about not feeling her pussy or any pussy. It turned me on at the time and still does - but at the same time, I am very much beginning to feel like I am missing it even more. I find myself longing for that warm wetness and the feeling of her pussy stroking the whole length of my cock. But at the same time, the other side of that feeling of missing it is an insane arousal at thinking about just Paul feeling her like that.
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