I'm looking for husbands who have had a similar experience. I am 44, married about 20 years, three kids. My wife is 41, pretty, blonde, blue/grey eyes, freckles, 5'4", 130 lbs., 35C-D, 26, 38. She works in sales for a big company. About a year ago I was snooping on her laptop, no particular reason, and I discovered a folder of saved e-mails to and from two of her co-workers, both of whom she had been fucking (separately) while on business trips. One was an English guy in his late 30's, and the other was a 27-year old stud, very good looking, muscular, with a reputation for having any woman he wanted. There were also some diary-type entries of hers in which she recounted some of their hottest sessions and talked about her feelings, some about her guilt for cheating, but even more about how hot it all was, how turned on she was by them, their skills, their bodies, their (both apparently large) cocks. It was also obvious she had been pretty slutty and submissive with them, much more so than ever with me, and had done things we have never done.
At first I was completely shocked, then devastated, then angry and bitter. I confronted her and for months we talked about it, argued, debated whether we should stay together. She was afraid I would leave her and begged forgiveness and vowed that those relationships were over, it was out of her system and nothing like it would ever happen again. In the course of all that, to restore trust, I felt like I had to know every single thing that happened, down to the smallest detail, for every time she was with them: where they went, what they had to drink, what songs they danced to at the bar, what the hotel room was like, what they were wearing, who took off whose clothes, what their bodies were like, a detailed description of their cocks, every step of the whole encounter, what they did, what positions, how many times, everything they said to her and she said to them, etc.
Now, a year later we are better, our marriage is recovering, and there have been no signs that she has remained in touch with them (or anyone else). But as the pain started to fade, I started to become totally, intensely turned on by the whole thing. So many times now I have jerked off thinking about one or more of those sessions, imagining these dudes plowing my pretty wife, mother of my three kids, in some hotel room, fucking her face, smacking her big ass, calling her names, watching her big tits swinging as they ram her, cumming on her tits and face. I cannot describe how hot this makes me. I haven't told her any of this, since it would seem so inconsistent with how devastated and angry I was, and I worry that she'll think it's just too fucked up.
I'd like to hear from any husbands who have experienced anything similar, or would like to discuss this topic. Maybe chat (Yahoo) about it some time.