A lot of people have asked me to provide details about my "affair" in January. I was at a conference in Orlando. I admit that seeing so many interracial couples recently had caused my mind to think about things it probably shouldn't have. I found myself flirting with a strong, dominant, black man for the first two days of the conference. He ended up inviting me to a party on the 2nd night that his friend was having just outside of town. I politely refused, telling him it wouldn't be "appropriate". He gave me his cell number anyway (along with some Mapquest directions) and told me to call him if I changed my mind. I went out to dinner with some friends that night and couldn't take my mind off of some of the suggestive things he'd said to me. When I left the restaurant, I decided "what the heck" and headed towards the party - I wanted to make an apperance so I wouldn't be deemed "stuck up" - and then I was going to leave. It was a 45-mimute drive and I was on the cell phone with my black "friend" almost the whole drive there. I had to interrupt our conversation once when my husband (Rick) called. I can remember telling Rick "I Love You" - but the words just came out of my mouth by habit - what I was thinking about had nothing to do with being a faithful wife. By the time I got to the party I was, shall we say, "aroused". Per my insturctoins, I parked the car and went straight to the poolhouse behind the main house. My new friend was waiting there - along with a friend of his. They had folded some towels and placed them on the concrete floor. I had been told on the phone what to expect, so I wasn't suprised when they roughly pushed me to my knees. He had promised that I would stay clothed and we had agreed in detail about what I would be expected to do. I felt like what it must be like for a dog to be in heat. I couldn't get their jeans unzipped fast enough. I worked them with my hands and mouth as best I could - the whole while they talked nasty about me, called me names, threatened to ****** me - after over 30 minutes I was finally rewarded with unbelievably huge "deposits" from both of them - all over my hair, face, mouth, and shirt. I was a total mess. I snuck back to the car and drove back to my hotel because I didn't want to be seen with the "evidence" all over me like that. I admit that I cried all the way back to my room, then most of the night, and several more times over the next several days. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt unbelievable guilt. And yet I kept replaying the experience in my mind dozens of times each day. When I got back home from the trip, I began to dress a little sexier, to smile at black men that I'd pass in the street, to stare at them just a little too long - butother than that I behaved myself. I kept in touch with my new friend by e-mail, and he told me many times that I should come back to the Orlando conference next year. Two weeks ago, I received an e-mail from him with a picture in it - one that I didn't know existed. Without me realizing it, he had taken a picture of me "in action". I guess I was so pre-occupied that I didn't notice him pull out his cell phone. He used some kind of software to put my name and e-mail address on the picture. He suggested various places that he thought he might send this picture - all of which made me shiver. He sent me several websites to explore, including Dark Cavern. I've met many wonderful people here - some of whom are helping me come out of my shell, and some of whom have volunteered to do much more than that (blush). I know that tomorrow I may regret documenting the details of my unfaithful fling that night several months ago - but right now the rush of going public with it overrides common sense.
Also, lots of people have asked what I look like. I'm 5'6", 118#, black hair, brown eyes. How's that for a start?