Having children and the cuckold lifestyle....

[mimi27406]

This is not a subject to be treated lightly. The children today are very intuitive and they do talk with each other and know what is going on. Some are going to accept and just hope the family stays together till they are through school, but some are going to be emotional and very upset. On the day a secret is known to more than two people it is very likely going to be known to many. Personally I do not think persons in this life style should have children, but then that is the reason so many of us married. Sad but true.

Growing up, I knew some other kids, whose parents "fooled around" (we never ever had heard the word cuckold) and they did not seem overly concerned but rather the more sophisticated of the class/group. I have noticed that few of those ever amounted to much in the business world or elsewhere. Frankly I am now wondering where they are?

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Cat,

Custer...thanks for the link...it was very imfomative. If my children were older and out of the house then I think honesty would be the best policy, but since that is not the case I think mums the word! —Cat

You're welcome. I certainly respect your point of view, and would not encourage you to do anything re. your children vis-a-vis your intended pursuit of extramarital lovers that you don't feel comfortable with.

It may be worth mentioning that from time to time, posts and threads appear in this forum indicating a woman who cuckolds her husband had a mother who cuckolded her father and she was aware of that. Similarly, sometimes a post or thread will indicate a man who is cuckolded by his wife and accepts that as a desirable form of marriage, because he wants his wife to be sexually satisfied, had (/has) a father who was cuckolded by his mother and he was aware of that. Children seem to become aware of their mothers taking lovers in various ways. One I've seen, in some posts, is poking through their parents belongings and finding hidden photos, sometimes obviously taken by their fathers, of their mothers having passionate sex with other men.

Although cuckolding seems, in many instances, to be passed down from mothers to daughters, and acceptance of cuckolding from fathers to sons, I strongly suspect parental sexual behavior of this nature is not a necessary condition. In many instances it can safely be said (IMO) that married women take lovers simply because they have a higher sex drive than their husbands and for that reason... among others, perhaps... do not find their husbands satisfying in bed.

These thoughts are related only somewhat tangentially to your question and your decision. I pass them along for whatever they might be worth.

—Custer

 

[Custer Laststand]

.... Just a little advice, Ms. Cat. If you don't want your children to find out [about your extramarital fucking], never, never open a website like, for instance: Http://www.babyruthie.com

Good recommendation. Good website, too, BTW.

 

[babyruthiezhubby]

Good recommendation. Good website, too, BTW.

We've has a great time putting that site together and filming the content. Ruthie has been a blast ever since we have been married but our life style has caused many family problems including problems when the kids found out.

Everyone is ok now but trying to explain it all to children. family and friends was not something I would ever want anyone to go through. I finally had to get angry and tell everyone trying to save us from what they perceived as perversion or the end of out marriage that the topic would never be open for discussion again because it's none of your business. We had church people calling us and stopping by the house to see if they could help us break the grip that sin had on us. People treat us the same as they did before they found out about us now days, but it was bad for a long time. My 81 yr old mother actually refers to Ruthie's website as our side business now.

even though things have worked out for us It's still best to be discreet for sure. I think it was hardest of all on the kids. I'm not trying to scare you 2 beginners away from having fun. The fact is Ruthie and I got carried away in all the fun swinging life style when we started the website and she got popular which was something we never thought would ever happen. Even more dumb was using her real name....

 

[Custer Laststand]

.... We had church people calling us and stopping by the house to see if they could help us break the grip that sin had on us. ....

Whew. Heavy stuff. All those religious folks must have found it difficult to know full well that, despite their best efforts, emissaries of Satan himself were living openly among them. But, it sounds like they finally came to terms (or, more likely, were finally exhausted by their unsuccessful efforts to "convert" you and Ruthie).

My 81 yr-old mother actually refers to Ruthie's website as our side business now.

All would agree, no doubt, this can only be interpreted as ultimate acceptance.

 

[babyruthiezhubby]

I got a little off topic here. The point is as long as your careful, never bring the life style into your own home and don't get carried away like Ruthie and I did. The kids will never find out and if at some point they do find out they will be fine. I'm not saying it wasn't hard for the kids to go to school everyday knowing the other kids all knew about us, but they turned out fine. two of them are married now living normal lives the other just turned 18 and all of the talk around our small town has pretty much gone away other than a joke or 2 that they eventually learned how to handle.

Ruthie and I still like to show up at Church now and then just to give the church people something to talk about. The funny thing is every time we go we find out about another good God fearing couple that has been divorced in the church. Most of them because of infidelity on the part of the wife . I'm sure they look at us and wonder how it is we are still happily married.

 

[Neela]

I most likely wouldn't be living this lifestyle if I would have kids. It's enough effort to keep low profile with the community around you (there's always some nosy people who have all the time in the world to stuff their noses into other people's businesses). Keeping it hidden from your own kids might be even bigger burden and raising kids is big effort in it's own. When something becomes too much of burden to do then it stops being fun and satisfying. If I would have kids the whole thing would probably wither away or at least become really infrequent.

Some kids might accept it quite easily but then again some kids loathe their parent(s) for years for much smaller reasons. Keeping low profile with the community is more of just having bit easier and comfortable everyday life. It wouldn't be end of the world if people would find out. I would have some extra irritance from people moralizing me and some generally being self-righteous twats at me...but oh my god what the moral outcry would be if you would also be mother of small children.

Plus the thing might get bad for the kids if people would also know about their parent's peculiar lifestyle. If the kids would be strong-willed they would eventually manage to shrugh it off and the whole thing would just become an old joke but if the kids would be more sensitive and vulnerable they might be stuck in hell for years. Their mom being "the biggest slut in the town" would be endless supply of gasoline for every local bully.

So either don't do it when you have young children or take the gamble and accept the risks but remember if things go bad you're not the only one suffering from fallout...it might be lot harder situation for the kids.

 

[Shidave]

This is so difficult a subject. If one was planning this lifestyle the planning it while one had children home is I think irresponsible;the situation is fraught with danger and damage. The lifestyle is risky enough without the extra problem of children around.
An example of a true case that I know of personally. I grew up with a close friend whose mother was a beauty and a real MILF, who was a flirt. Everybody loved to be with her and near her. Her husband was quite older and travelled a lot. At the time we were young boys & only thought of how many glimpses we could get of some breast or thigh or underwear of this beautiful lady. As we got older conversation with her girl friends that stopped when they realised that kids were present, would hint at activities at a party she had been to. Activities that were mysterious and "naughty". By the time we were late teenagers, we realised that my friends Mum would attend these parties more regularly when her husband was away and she was extra bubbly the next day. At 18 my friend moved to study abroad. At 21 he returned. His mother had got careless while he was away and must have been having private "parties" at home regularly, so on his return these continued. She was careful that she had these parties when her son was meant to be out. He also had his own pad above the garage, so was seldom in the house.One night he needed something from the house and found his mother and her friends enjoying sex. She was actually being double teamed and one of the guys was her son's young tutor.
My friend was devastated.He adored his fun loving Mother but could never accept this activity as part of her fun. She tried to explain that his father knew and understood, but that made it worse. This guy never had anything to do with his mother for many years. It also made him totally distrust women and he became a sort of cynical libertine.

 

[Tammy Pantedrop]

BabyRuth: Your an FN HYPOCRITE, "if at some point they do find out they will be fine". Obvilously if the kids are young you don't bring her lovers into the home. But kid are always curious as to what is going on with Mom & Dad. But the orginal question was how Mom can begin to start dating and to get into the lifestyle. Slowly and being as Honest as possible. I say Mom talks to the daughter & Dad talks to the son. If Mom starts dating she does it on her time and not the family time. That doesn't mean she "Drops Trou" in the middle of the living floor while the kids are at school either!!

 

[Custer Laststand]

Ruthie and I still like to show up at Church now and then just to give the church people something to talk about. The funny thing is, every time we go we find out about another good God-fearing couple that has been divorced in the church. Most of them because of infidelity on the part of the wife . I'm sure they look at us and wonder how it is we are still happily married.

Is it possible Ruthie is inspiring the other women in your church, but their husbands... being religious, thus continuing to "believe" on some level that their wives are (in principle if no longer in the eyes of the law) their "property"... can't handle it? And this is the primary factor that leads to divorce?

If so, that would be consistent with other church members (as you say) "looking at you and Ruthie and wondering how it is you're still happily married." A possible reason, in other words... perhaps THE most likely reason... would be that you, unlike the other men in your church, fully accept your wife Ruthie's high sex drive, encourage her to pursue it, and openly admit you are turned on by it yourself. Whaddya' think...?

 

[suksall]

My now ex wife and I had two kids and played in this lifestyle and the kids never found out. It is possible to do. it isn't long until the oldest child can sit the younger and you are free to date.

 

[1cucky4u]

Need advice from anyone in the lifestyle that are raising children. I am considering getting back into the lifestyle of cucking my bf of almost 10 years. We have dabbled off and on over the years when my children were smaller.

"S" has expressed an interest in my giving him pies and such again to spice things up in the bedroom. I'm definately considering because I would like to have a bigger cock in me from time to time and I love going on dates with other guys.

Here is my dilemma.... I look at my 11yo daughter and I feel like a terrible mother. If she ever found out I would die!!! I also have a 16 yo son who doesn't currently live with me but may soon.

My questions for those of you who have kids is how do you deal with the feelings of guilt? How do you make sure your kids do not find out about your lifestyle? I guess now my daughter is not a toddler anymore I do not want her to A.) find out and B.) damage her sexual psyche.

Any advice from men or women would be appreciated.
Thanks...Cat

children are amazingly observant. your children will pick up on it sooner or later and sense it. so if you don't ever want them to know you do it, don't do it.

 

[zzaatt]

For what its worth

This is just our experience, not saying it will work for all but i do believe it depends on how open with all subjects you have been with your child/ren.
We have been open with our son (now 16) about a variety of subjects through his life as anything that affects us affects him, when he was old enough to figure something was going on (mystery phone calls, going out of an eve regularly etc) I sat and told him, not in a perverse way....just that its "our fun" we enjoy it and are not hurting anyone nor doing anything illegal. If he asked for a few more details then i provided them if not then left it alone, he processed the info and maybe because of how we have been with him over the years and brought him up to live and let live he accepted it without a word, now he is just happy to get the house to himself on a more regular basis so that is his perk! We NEVER play at our home...NEVER, that is the family space and there are enough hotels and clubs to use so we have no excuse. Thats our experience, hope did not offend anyone, hugs T xxx

 

[Saraha]

The most important thing for kids is to know that Mum and Dad both love them unconditionally - and also to see how much mum and dad care about each other by holding hands, talking nicely to each other, even hugs and kisses = and giving each other small gifts and surprises.

When parents argue, kids get scared that divorce is going to split the family up eventually, and they (the kids) are going to be ****** to take sides and therefore lose one parent.

If mum and dad are in love with each other, the kids will feel secure and not be worried if mum spend friendly time with other women (and men) from time to time. "Other friendships" will, therefore, seem to be natural and non-threatening to the children.

It is always better to allow children to grow up without thrusting them into the adult world too soon. It is best to play away from home.

 

[rural]

The most important thing for kids is to know that Mum and Dad both love them unconditionally - and also to see how much mum and dad care about each other by holding hands, talking nicely to each other, even hugs and kisses = and giving each other small gifts and surprises.

When parents argue, kids get scared that divorce is going to split the family up eventually, and they (the kids) are going to be ****** to take sides and therefore lose one parent.

If mum and dad are in love with each other, the kids will feel secure and not be worried if mum spend friendly time with other women (and men) from time to time. "Other friendships" will, therefore, seem to be natural and non-threatening to the children.

It is always better to allow children to grow up without thrusting them into the adult world too soon. It is best to play away from home.

Thanks for the advise, Saraha.

I'll keep that in mind facing my kids.

 

[chrisjohn]

I think saraha is right its best to keep it away from them if you can. when my wife brought up the idea of dating others she changed and it is hard for a teen not to notice so there are some questions but you have to deal with those as they come up.

 

[mimi27406]

Yes this is an ongoing topic and all too real

The most important thing for kids is to know that Mum and Dad both love them unconditionally - and also to see how much mum and dad care about each other by holding hands, talking nicely to each other, even hugs and kisses = and giving each other small gifts and surprises

.

Do you think you are smarter than a 5th grader? I hate to say it but I doubt it. For every action there is a reaction and thats is an absolute truth.

You will have to explain at some point in time. You may be surprised at what the children know and yes understand. Sahara is so right show affection for each other in the home.

The boys will tend to support mom, and the girls dad. Go figure!

Boys glory in a hot mom.

I never did understand girls.

 

[Hank jones]

We have kept our play time away from home. Until recently my wife wouldn't even play with co-workers. And we had never played with close friends. Those were the simple non-drama days. LoL
My wife is now seeing a co-worker that she travels on business with. We k ow each others families, and have done camping. So keeping things separate from everyday life is harder. And we have played with friends who after trying to talk them out of swing to save their marriage went and got divorced and tried dragged us in on part of their self public explosion. I had to get a lawyer to keep our names out of court papers while they did the he/she made me do..... Anyways
We've told our children who are teens now. Adults do things and as long as it's not hurting anyone, and everyone involved is in agreement then it's no one else's business what they are doing behind closed doors.

 

[Hank jones]

Also Sarah is right. Our kids know we love them and we love each other. We take care of each other and kinda spoil each other. If mom n dad are fighting then they picked the wrong lifestyle long before. LoL

 

[duke9555]

mom?