It Goes On and On and On and On
- Thread starterkevinsslave
- Start date
First, thanks for answering the private question I asked you in your post. I appreciate it. Next I've got to say...I don't know if you've gone back to the way things were, but this last post made me jump out of my seat and practically scream you're the F#$n' man! Gooood for you. Whether invited to or not, these two ingrates are bottom feeders and simply taking advantage of the situation, though both for different reasons. Clearly I'm drawn to your tale in part because it has some themes from my own fantasies, though to be fair, there are equally as many horrors. While I know the expression "to each his own" holds true in everything in life, including our alternative lifestyles and fantasies, this just started taking a very dark turn awhile back and even if this display of courage was only fleeting...it was extremely well played and I commend you for that. This was all very much out of hand and out of control! That said, I'm looking forward to hearing about the aftermath regardless of what that has brought. I understand from your posts you're almost back to modern day, so there's not likely a ton left to catch up on and tell... but I wish you well.
Bradley, I'm glad my f'ed up life is so entertaining. Lol. Uhhhh, but, I do love the line about making Jerry Springer look like Sesame Street. LMAO.
Lamont, you are welcome. Chastity is a mixed bag as far as I'm concerned, but, one thing I'll say is that it intensifies all of your feelings (sexual, emotional, physical, etc). Things are not the way they were. Not at all. You are correct that Justin was a bottom feeder and, yet, the bigger question is, knowing that, why did I so enjoy submitting to him? I mean, I saw him for what he was. My problem is that I think that I am either the pickiest bi-sexual around or I just can't seem to stop craving submission and humiliation to guys like him. Truly, I would say I find 1 in a 1,000 guys attractive. He fits the profile I like, thin, blonde, great looking, less educated than me and less articulate. Generally, I like non-professionals. I ache to submit to guys that fit in these select categories. I want them to use me, humiliate and dominate me. I know why and where those feelings come from (the shrink actually does help me), but, it nevertheless is amazing to me that I know why I crave it, truthfully, know that it is not healthy and, yet, still succumb to it. As to Amber, well there's more to her (and my) story.
When I woke up in the hotel room, I was much calmer, and, despite a 3 hour nap, I felt exhausted. I went down to the lobby, got some coffee and just sat in the room. My head cleared slowly and, checking my phone, I saw Amber had called another 10 times. All the messages were the same (crying, "call me, please"). I just couldn't. Something was/is incredibly relaxing about being away from home and I decided to take a shower and just go to the hotel restaurant for dinner. I took a long hot shower, dressed in some decent clothes and went down to eat. Decided to eat at the bar and, as I sat there, drinking my Canadian Club and eating, I realized that I needed to snap out of this funk. There was a jukebox and I went and slipped $5.00 in it and played some music. I made my selections and sat down. The first song that played was Van Morrison "Crazy Love." From a couple seats down, a pretty blond said, "Great song." I looked, she looked to be around 30 and I said, "You like Van Morrison?" She smiled, "Yeah, he reminds me of my Dad, my Dad just loves him." I laughed, "Gee, thanks." She laughed as well, "No, I don't mean you're old, I just...." I waved her off and kept laughing.
She came over and sat next to me. "Hi, I'm Sarah." I told her my name and I asked what she was doing in Pittsburgh. She was there for a 2 day work retreat/seminar that started the next day. She was from Philadelphia. The bartender came over and I ordered us a couple more drinks. She asked why I was in town and I just said, not thinking, "I'm here to see my wife." She looked confused, so she said, "Your wife, your married?" I said, "Well, separated, you know, we have counseling...therapy, whatever." She laughed. "Too bad," she said. "Too bad, what? Too bad I'm married, too bad I'm separated, too bad I'm in counseling?" She smiled, "Well, too bad..." and trailed off. I laughed, "I hope your seminar is on communication skills because I have to tell you..." She playfully swatted my arm. I saw a ring on her finger and said, "Looks like you're too bad, too."
OK, so now listen, my intention that night was to simply talk and relax and have a few drinks. But, as the night wore on, the sexual sparks flew. Yet, still, you know, I was trying to subtract women from my life, not add them. But, Sarah was awfully pretty, awfully smart and very funny. She was also very married with 2 children, but, I mean, it was a Sunday night in Pittsburgh. I didn't really have a whole hell of a lot else to do. I would like to say that we drank all night, had a good time and went to our respective rooms to sleep. That would have been the uncomplicated and right thing to do. Instead, several hours later, as she went to call her husband at home, I ran to the lobby to try and buy condoms. None in the gift shop, none in the "essentials" vending machine (that's a problem with classy hotels). So, I had to run up the street to a Rite Aid to buy some.
When I returned, she was waiting in the bar. We went to my room and had a wonderfully vanilla night of sex. I can't begin to tell you how nice and lovely it was. I made her come (something her husband must not do because she told me about 5 times how great it was) and I came. We watched TV for a bit and slept (really slept) together. When morning came, she jumped up to go to her room and shower and go to her seminar. She kissed me and said that if my wife and I weren't together that night, well, maybe we could get together. I went back to bed, inhaling the scents of her perfume and body lotion that remained on the sheets.
More later.
Lamont, you are welcome. Chastity is a mixed bag as far as I'm concerned, but, one thing I'll say is that it intensifies all of your feelings (sexual, emotional, physical, etc). Things are not the way they were. Not at all. You are correct that Justin was a bottom feeder and, yet, the bigger question is, knowing that, why did I so enjoy submitting to him? I mean, I saw him for what he was. My problem is that I think that I am either the pickiest bi-sexual around or I just can't seem to stop craving submission and humiliation to guys like him. Truly, I would say I find 1 in a 1,000 guys attractive. He fits the profile I like, thin, blonde, great looking, less educated than me and less articulate. Generally, I like non-professionals. I ache to submit to guys that fit in these select categories. I want them to use me, humiliate and dominate me. I know why and where those feelings come from (the shrink actually does help me), but, it nevertheless is amazing to me that I know why I crave it, truthfully, know that it is not healthy and, yet, still succumb to it. As to Amber, well there's more to her (and my) story.
When I woke up in the hotel room, I was much calmer, and, despite a 3 hour nap, I felt exhausted. I went down to the lobby, got some coffee and just sat in the room. My head cleared slowly and, checking my phone, I saw Amber had called another 10 times. All the messages were the same (crying, "call me, please"). I just couldn't. Something was/is incredibly relaxing about being away from home and I decided to take a shower and just go to the hotel restaurant for dinner. I took a long hot shower, dressed in some decent clothes and went down to eat. Decided to eat at the bar and, as I sat there, drinking my Canadian Club and eating, I realized that I needed to snap out of this funk. There was a jukebox and I went and slipped $5.00 in it and played some music. I made my selections and sat down. The first song that played was Van Morrison "Crazy Love." From a couple seats down, a pretty blond said, "Great song." I looked, she looked to be around 30 and I said, "You like Van Morrison?" She smiled, "Yeah, he reminds me of my Dad, my Dad just loves him." I laughed, "Gee, thanks." She laughed as well, "No, I don't mean you're old, I just...." I waved her off and kept laughing.
She came over and sat next to me. "Hi, I'm Sarah." I told her my name and I asked what she was doing in Pittsburgh. She was there for a 2 day work retreat/seminar that started the next day. She was from Philadelphia. The bartender came over and I ordered us a couple more drinks. She asked why I was in town and I just said, not thinking, "I'm here to see my wife." She looked confused, so she said, "Your wife, your married?" I said, "Well, separated, you know, we have counseling...therapy, whatever." She laughed. "Too bad," she said. "Too bad, what? Too bad I'm married, too bad I'm separated, too bad I'm in counseling?" She smiled, "Well, too bad..." and trailed off. I laughed, "I hope your seminar is on communication skills because I have to tell you..." She playfully swatted my arm. I saw a ring on her finger and said, "Looks like you're too bad, too."
OK, so now listen, my intention that night was to simply talk and relax and have a few drinks. But, as the night wore on, the sexual sparks flew. Yet, still, you know, I was trying to subtract women from my life, not add them. But, Sarah was awfully pretty, awfully smart and very funny. She was also very married with 2 children, but, I mean, it was a Sunday night in Pittsburgh. I didn't really have a whole hell of a lot else to do. I would like to say that we drank all night, had a good time and went to our respective rooms to sleep. That would have been the uncomplicated and right thing to do. Instead, several hours later, as she went to call her husband at home, I ran to the lobby to try and buy condoms. None in the gift shop, none in the "essentials" vending machine (that's a problem with classy hotels). So, I had to run up the street to a Rite Aid to buy some.
When I returned, she was waiting in the bar. We went to my room and had a wonderfully vanilla night of sex. I can't begin to tell you how nice and lovely it was. I made her come (something her husband must not do because she told me about 5 times how great it was) and I came. We watched TV for a bit and slept (really slept) together. When morning came, she jumped up to go to her room and shower and go to her seminar. She kissed me and said that if my wife and I weren't together that night, well, maybe we could get together. I went back to bed, inhaling the scents of her perfume and body lotion that remained on the sheets.
More later.
UnSolicited Advice
Kevin--- Your personal narratives are very interesting--- one of the best accounts on this forum. Speaking strictly in general/ideal terms, this is what I believe.
First, our sexuality, sexual preferences, fetishes, etc. are only one aspect of what makes us human beings--- men and women. Outside the sexual arena each of us has a kaleidoscope of other interests, activities, talents, interests, professions, etc. And, our significant relationships also consist of a wide variety of other components.
Our sexual activities, for the most part, have a beginning and an ending--- whether formalized or not. In a perfect world, we should be able to practice our fetishes for a given period of time that also has an ending. Someone on here wrote that one week out of every month they are an active cuckold and his wife is a hot wife--- the rest of the month they are like any other couple.
I like the idea of formalizing the cuckold-hot wife relationship and the activities of such a relationship. Not that we can’t practice and enjoy aspects of this relationship year round in little ways--- teasing, denying, flirting, chastity and so on. It’s what makes our blood flow and keeps us alive.
I am personally in favor of a loosely “designated” starting point for fetish activities and a loosely pre-determined stopping point. For example, for three to five days before the wife has a date and a day or two after. And then, of course, there’s date night activities--- the apex of the lifestyle (LS).
I also believe that everyone in the LS has the right to say “NO” or “That’s enough” or “Stop”. This should be explicitly understood by all of the parties engaging in the activity. Typically this includes the wife, her lover and the cuckold. Everyone should be able to “tap-out”, to use a “safe word” when something becomes too much or perhaps dangerous. After all, this is only sex... and sex isn't everything (I think? lol).
The play we sometimes engage in is designed to push bottoms to take us to the brink of what our emotions can handle (to subspace)--- and we voluntarily and deliberately put ourselves in this position because it feels good, is extremely erotic and ultimately makes us cum (or not, lol). We knowingly push the envelope to spike our arousal--- sometimes allowing ourselves to be verbally, physically and mentally abused. This is what we ask for and want and need.
But again, like in any other sexual relationship each partner has the right to say that’s enough for now or never again and the other partners(s) need to respect this.
In active fetish based sex play this is especially important because of the potential personal jeopardy it brings with it (perceived or imaginary). But, obviously, it is this very element that often attracts us to the activity and to the LS. At the same time, much of the value of the enjoyment of the play would be nullified if we arbitrarily controlled it--- didn’t let it run its course, refused to participate or just threw the towel in because our feeling got a bit hurt or we get angry, have buyers remorse, etc. So it’s a tight rope. Seeing things through is part of the deal too.
All this being written, I am an advocate of a Hot-Wife Cuckold contract when the play becomes as sophisticated as that in which you are engaging. And, this contract needs to be shared with the third party in the relationship--- the outside lover (call him what you like, bull, stud, BF, ex par, etc.). The “rules” of the cuckold three-way relationship need to be set down and agreed to--- who can do what and when, who can’t do what and when. Terms of agreement about chastity, punishments, time limits, safe words, etc. And the terms and conditions of the contract need to be followed as closely as possible--- but not to the exclusion of reason, sanity, and protection from personal comfort or injury (be it physical, emotional and/or mental).
It seems to me that the unfortunate situation you write about when your wife’s lover refused to give you the “key” could have been avoided if the rules, terms, conditions of the “play” had been established, agreed too and understood by all parties.
Even absent a contract, to me, once you became so insistent about the need to be unlocked and asked even in the face of potential severe consequences (punishment), I believe if I were the outside man I would have known intuitively that it was time to stop the “game” and return to the realm of “normal” human activity--- I’d of given you the fucking key (perhaps under the condition that you “earned” more days in “lock-up” as the price). But only an insensitive fool would have missed the urgency you portrayed.
At any rate, my unsolicited advice is that you and your significant other look into some sort of “contract” or letter of understanding that you both can live with. And, the next stud that joins you is made aware of the conditions of the play. I also suggest that the contract spells out start and stop dates/times, tap-out rules, safe words, etc. and perhaps punishments for arbitrary use of such mechanisms is help assure that these are truly used only when necessary.
Yes, in a perfect world we might be able to just let nature and our sexual fetishes run their course and wouldn’t this be wonderful, natural, pure and enjoyable. But who lives in a perfect world?
I hope this lengthy sermon is helpful to you and others that read it. Best of luck, and please keep us informed--- truly, your narratives are extremely interesting to me and I'm sure to many other in this LS.
CuckoldMick
Kevin--- Your personal narratives are very interesting--- one of the best accounts on this forum. Speaking strictly in general/ideal terms, this is what I believe.
First, our sexuality, sexual preferences, fetishes, etc. are only one aspect of what makes us human beings--- men and women. Outside the sexual arena each of us has a kaleidoscope of other interests, activities, talents, interests, professions, etc. And, our significant relationships also consist of a wide variety of other components.
Our sexual activities, for the most part, have a beginning and an ending--- whether formalized or not. In a perfect world, we should be able to practice our fetishes for a given period of time that also has an ending. Someone on here wrote that one week out of every month they are an active cuckold and his wife is a hot wife--- the rest of the month they are like any other couple.
I like the idea of formalizing the cuckold-hot wife relationship and the activities of such a relationship. Not that we can’t practice and enjoy aspects of this relationship year round in little ways--- teasing, denying, flirting, chastity and so on. It’s what makes our blood flow and keeps us alive.
I am personally in favor of a loosely “designated” starting point for fetish activities and a loosely pre-determined stopping point. For example, for three to five days before the wife has a date and a day or two after. And then, of course, there’s date night activities--- the apex of the lifestyle (LS).
I also believe that everyone in the LS has the right to say “NO” or “That’s enough” or “Stop”. This should be explicitly understood by all of the parties engaging in the activity. Typically this includes the wife, her lover and the cuckold. Everyone should be able to “tap-out”, to use a “safe word” when something becomes too much or perhaps dangerous. After all, this is only sex... and sex isn't everything (I think? lol).
The play we sometimes engage in is designed to push bottoms to take us to the brink of what our emotions can handle (to subspace)--- and we voluntarily and deliberately put ourselves in this position because it feels good, is extremely erotic and ultimately makes us cum (or not, lol). We knowingly push the envelope to spike our arousal--- sometimes allowing ourselves to be verbally, physically and mentally abused. This is what we ask for and want and need.
But again, like in any other sexual relationship each partner has the right to say that’s enough for now or never again and the other partners(s) need to respect this.
In active fetish based sex play this is especially important because of the potential personal jeopardy it brings with it (perceived or imaginary). But, obviously, it is this very element that often attracts us to the activity and to the LS. At the same time, much of the value of the enjoyment of the play would be nullified if we arbitrarily controlled it--- didn’t let it run its course, refused to participate or just threw the towel in because our feeling got a bit hurt or we get angry, have buyers remorse, etc. So it’s a tight rope. Seeing things through is part of the deal too.
All this being written, I am an advocate of a Hot-Wife Cuckold contract when the play becomes as sophisticated as that in which you are engaging. And, this contract needs to be shared with the third party in the relationship--- the outside lover (call him what you like, bull, stud, BF, ex par, etc.). The “rules” of the cuckold three-way relationship need to be set down and agreed to--- who can do what and when, who can’t do what and when. Terms of agreement about chastity, punishments, time limits, safe words, etc. And the terms and conditions of the contract need to be followed as closely as possible--- but not to the exclusion of reason, sanity, and protection from personal comfort or injury (be it physical, emotional and/or mental).
It seems to me that the unfortunate situation you write about when your wife’s lover refused to give you the “key” could have been avoided if the rules, terms, conditions of the “play” had been established, agreed too and understood by all parties.
Even absent a contract, to me, once you became so insistent about the need to be unlocked and asked even in the face of potential severe consequences (punishment), I believe if I were the outside man I would have known intuitively that it was time to stop the “game” and return to the realm of “normal” human activity--- I’d of given you the fucking key (perhaps under the condition that you “earned” more days in “lock-up” as the price). But only an insensitive fool would have missed the urgency you portrayed.
At any rate, my unsolicited advice is that you and your significant other look into some sort of “contract” or letter of understanding that you both can live with. And, the next stud that joins you is made aware of the conditions of the play. I also suggest that the contract spells out start and stop dates/times, tap-out rules, safe words, etc. and perhaps punishments for arbitrary use of such mechanisms is help assure that these are truly used only when necessary.
Yes, in a perfect world we might be able to just let nature and our sexual fetishes run their course and wouldn’t this be wonderful, natural, pure and enjoyable. But who lives in a perfect world?
I hope this lengthy sermon is helpful to you and others that read it. Best of luck, and please keep us informed--- truly, your narratives are extremely interesting to me and I'm sure to many other in this LS.
CuckoldMick
Mick, of course, looking back on things, you are right. A contract or some understanding of the lines/limits would have made sense. I guess I'm the type that's afraid to formalize things for fear that the fantasy life be *******. I know, in truth, I was not really Justin's slave/servant and, yet, in my fantasies, my mind, that's what I saw. Truthfully, though, at the end of the day, I broke the rules. I had agreed to let him rule over me and, then, when I'd had enough (or needed "let out" of the game/the fantasy), I expected him to understand and know that the game/relationship was being temporarily suspended. I suppose that when I kept doing everything he wanted and demanded, I was a fool to expect him to know that it was time for a break. Of course, he missed the sense of urgency because he was/is and insensitive fool. Of course, that's, in part, what attracted me to him and the situation.
You're dead on with the "buyer's remorse." I think, in my case, having gone through the whole thing with my wife and her lover in the past, I just wasn't sure if or what I wanted with Amber and Justin. A big part of me did not want this relationship and I think it showed in the amount of resistance that I put up. The whole thing taught me a very valuable lesson. I think the thing is/was, I am involved with 3 women, and, with each one, I have not had anything resembling normalcy. Kristy was so out of control and so overly rubbing in my face the affairs and other men. Sheila spurned me, totally and completely, when she was younger (or did she? I still wonder how much of that I promoted and fostered). Amber, well, again I fostered her desires and fantasies to be used by Justin.
Which brings me to that Monday in the hotel. I slept until almost noon. I was so tired, so drained. I looked at my cell phone and saw that my office had called twice. I panicked, thinking the police were there looking for me to investigate the whole Justin assault. I listened to the voice mails and found out that my big hearing Wednesday was being continued by the court (the court had started a trial, so my hearing was being continued). That freed up my Wednesday. There were calls from clients and a number from Amber. Amber's desperation and neediness were really getting on my nerves.
I went down to the lobby to get coffee and I heard on the elevator and in the lobby the old Danny O'Keefe song "Good Time Charlie's Got The Blues" playing. I can't tell you why the song affected me the way it did, but, it did. I felt like crying I was so emotionally tired. I didn't want to go home and now, I didn't have to until Thursday. Of course, in my demented and degenerate mind, I immediately thought of Sarah and getting to spend another night with her. Kristy didn't know I was in Pittsburgh and I could just tell her I was coming on Tuesday and still spend Tuesday evening and Wednesday with her. Sarah was normal, we talked about normal things, we had normal sex. There was no baggage and I craved it. Another night of passion and talk with a normal, pretty woman. On the other hand, I did feel some guilt. She was married with children and I'm sure she was doing this all behind her husband's back.
I drank my coffee and took a long shower. I texted Sarah and asked if she wanted to have dinner. I got ready for my solo appointment with the counselor and left. Sarah texted back that she would meet me in the hotel bar at 6:00. I spilled a lot of my emotional trauma to my counselor and he was actually sympathetic and helpful. He knew, as did I, that the whole Sarah thing was inappropriate and wrong, but, I figured, dinner wouldn't hurt. I craved Ruth Chris steak, so I drove us there. We had a wonderful dinner, filled with talk of everything from health care reform to music and movies. I never understood why women like her didn't seem to interest me (for long) in the past, but, that night, it was wonderful, almost magical. We headed to the bar and drank more and then back to the hotel bar for a couple more. We did end up back in my room and we did have wonderful, passionate sex. She hinted that maybe she should head back to her room, but, I asked her to stay. I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to feel normal again just for one more night.
She left, early, and was driving home that afternoon after the seminar. We exchanged emails and promised to stay in touch (and we actually have-all innocent stuff). When she left, I wanted to go back to sleep, but, before I did, I smoked a cigarette and thought about my life. These lyrics kept playing in my head:
Some gotta win, some gotta lose
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Ya know my heart keeps tellin' me
"You're not a kid at thirty-three"
"Ya play around, ya lose your wife"
"Ya play too long, you lose your life"
I got my pills to ease the pain
Can't find a thing to ease the rain
I'd love to try and settle down
But everybody's leavin' town
Some gotta win, some gotta lose
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
I know I'm ending this on a down note, but, it seems like the time to break from the narrative. The thought of that night and my realizations has me down, right now. More later.
You're dead on with the "buyer's remorse." I think, in my case, having gone through the whole thing with my wife and her lover in the past, I just wasn't sure if or what I wanted with Amber and Justin. A big part of me did not want this relationship and I think it showed in the amount of resistance that I put up. The whole thing taught me a very valuable lesson. I think the thing is/was, I am involved with 3 women, and, with each one, I have not had anything resembling normalcy. Kristy was so out of control and so overly rubbing in my face the affairs and other men. Sheila spurned me, totally and completely, when she was younger (or did she? I still wonder how much of that I promoted and fostered). Amber, well, again I fostered her desires and fantasies to be used by Justin.
Which brings me to that Monday in the hotel. I slept until almost noon. I was so tired, so drained. I looked at my cell phone and saw that my office had called twice. I panicked, thinking the police were there looking for me to investigate the whole Justin assault. I listened to the voice mails and found out that my big hearing Wednesday was being continued by the court (the court had started a trial, so my hearing was being continued). That freed up my Wednesday. There were calls from clients and a number from Amber. Amber's desperation and neediness were really getting on my nerves.
I went down to the lobby to get coffee and I heard on the elevator and in the lobby the old Danny O'Keefe song "Good Time Charlie's Got The Blues" playing. I can't tell you why the song affected me the way it did, but, it did. I felt like crying I was so emotionally tired. I didn't want to go home and now, I didn't have to until Thursday. Of course, in my demented and degenerate mind, I immediately thought of Sarah and getting to spend another night with her. Kristy didn't know I was in Pittsburgh and I could just tell her I was coming on Tuesday and still spend Tuesday evening and Wednesday with her. Sarah was normal, we talked about normal things, we had normal sex. There was no baggage and I craved it. Another night of passion and talk with a normal, pretty woman. On the other hand, I did feel some guilt. She was married with children and I'm sure she was doing this all behind her husband's back.
I drank my coffee and took a long shower. I texted Sarah and asked if she wanted to have dinner. I got ready for my solo appointment with the counselor and left. Sarah texted back that she would meet me in the hotel bar at 6:00. I spilled a lot of my emotional trauma to my counselor and he was actually sympathetic and helpful. He knew, as did I, that the whole Sarah thing was inappropriate and wrong, but, I figured, dinner wouldn't hurt. I craved Ruth Chris steak, so I drove us there. We had a wonderful dinner, filled with talk of everything from health care reform to music and movies. I never understood why women like her didn't seem to interest me (for long) in the past, but, that night, it was wonderful, almost magical. We headed to the bar and drank more and then back to the hotel bar for a couple more. We did end up back in my room and we did have wonderful, passionate sex. She hinted that maybe she should head back to her room, but, I asked her to stay. I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to feel normal again just for one more night.
She left, early, and was driving home that afternoon after the seminar. We exchanged emails and promised to stay in touch (and we actually have-all innocent stuff). When she left, I wanted to go back to sleep, but, before I did, I smoked a cigarette and thought about my life. These lyrics kept playing in my head:
Some gotta win, some gotta lose
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Ya know my heart keeps tellin' me
"You're not a kid at thirty-three"
"Ya play around, ya lose your wife"
"Ya play too long, you lose your life"
I got my pills to ease the pain
Can't find a thing to ease the rain
I'd love to try and settle down
But everybody's leavin' town
Some gotta win, some gotta lose
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
Good time Charlie's got the blues
I know I'm ending this on a down note, but, it seems like the time to break from the narrative. The thought of that night and my realizations has me down, right now. More later.
Kevin, I know what you mean about "normal" sex. It's not something that I've had in a long while and I miss it. Even when Kristen and I do have sex I feel like I am in competition with her lovers or at least I am under the gun to preform, preform, preform. What ever happened to "making love"? I mean, fuck orgasms--- I'd exchange an orgasm or two just to be able to slow down and let my cock bask in her pussy while kissing her deeply and looking into her eyes, tasting her sweet lips. Isn't there room in our sexual relationship for everything? Hell, I'd even take a good acting job once in a while just to feel "normal". You hit a nerve with that word...normal...normal....Oh hell yes!!!! You didn't describe your love making with Sarah--- but I know how it must have been, warm, sweet and ....normal! Thanks for sharing
Mick, I tell you, when I'm in a vanilla relationship, something seems to draw me to the wild side, yet, when I'm there, something makes me crave normal. Insane, I guess. But, the normal sex thing is nice. I don't want to elaborately describe the sex with Sarah, but, you know how nice it was just to slide into her and not worry about pumping faster and faster and deeper and deeper. No games, no other action. Holding myself inside her while we passionately kissed. Slowly moving in and out, kissing her mouth, neck and ears. The funny thing is, in many ways it was more passionate, more erotic and more fulfilling than all the crazy sex. It felt wonderful and incredibly intimate.
Shidave, I don't know how they feel, but, I guess to me there's sex and there's making love. Sometimes, I just want to fuck, sometimes, I want to make love. The emotional feeling I get from each is quite different. Sex is great and its erotic and can be phenomenal. But, I usually feel better, more whole and full after just normal sex (making love). I feel a deeper connection with the woman and the physical release feels better. I imagine women feel the same way. The strange part of this lifestyle seems to be trying to find a way to have both. For me, it's never quite seemed to work out that way. More and more, I realize, it's almost impossible to balance the 2.
Which brings me to that Tuesday. I woke up around 11:00 and, well, felt empty. I actually missed Sarah. I got more coffee, showered, called Kristy, made lunch plans, called the office and read the paper. Around noon, the maid came and I realized the room needed really cleaned. Sarah's scent permeated the air and I had to clear it out as Kristy would be there with me later. The maid was an elderly black woman and I asked her to change the sheets and really clean up. She looked puzzled. "Honey," I said, "my wife is coming here tonight and I was with someone else last night. The sheets and perfume smell will get me in a lot of trouble." I handed her a $20 bill. "You think you could make my problems go away." She laughed and said, "Baby, don't you worry about a thing. This room will be good as new."
I met my wife at a Max and Ermas near the counselor's office. I have to say that she looked stunning. It always turned me on to see other men stare at her and, boy, did they that day. As we walked to our booth, she held my hand. When we sat, she said, "What happened to your hand?" I lied, "Nothing, I slipped on the ice and caught it on the front steps." She didn't seem to believe me, but, didn't push it. "How's Kathy?" I sighed, "Please call her Amber and, since I'm here, and she's at home, I'd say she's an emotional wreck." Kristy chuckled, "I almost feel sorry for her. How's Roseanne?" The sarcasm dripped from her. "Sheila, my dear, her name is Sheila....I guess she's OK, haven't seen much of her lately..." Kristy smiled, "Her, I don't feel sorry for." I got a little irritated, "Kristy, I didn't come all this way to talk about other women..." She cut me off, "You're right, I'm sorry, but, you can't blame me for wanting to know what's going on." I smiled, "I don't blame you, but, I'm here with you, trying to salvage our relationship, and that's all that matters right now."
We ordered our food and, after the waitress left, she said, "I made the list, did you?" One of our assignments was making a list of good times that we shared. Supposed to remind us, I suppose, of the good in the relationship, some areas where we were happy and could expand. I had written the list and we shared our lists of good times and happy memories. Some of them, we had each listed. It was interesting and I started to feel closer to her as she read hers. She had put a lot of thought and emotion into hers (as had I) and I realized that she really did want to salvage things and that we actually had had a lot of wonderful moments. We laughed and talked about some of the old times. Lunch passed quickly and I remembered why I had loved this girl so damn much. Her looks were one thing, but, she was so smart, so witty, so tough, yet vulnerable, so quirky and so special. We walked out, hand in hand and I drove us to our appointment.
More later.
Shidave, I don't know how they feel, but, I guess to me there's sex and there's making love. Sometimes, I just want to fuck, sometimes, I want to make love. The emotional feeling I get from each is quite different. Sex is great and its erotic and can be phenomenal. But, I usually feel better, more whole and full after just normal sex (making love). I feel a deeper connection with the woman and the physical release feels better. I imagine women feel the same way. The strange part of this lifestyle seems to be trying to find a way to have both. For me, it's never quite seemed to work out that way. More and more, I realize, it's almost impossible to balance the 2.
Which brings me to that Tuesday. I woke up around 11:00 and, well, felt empty. I actually missed Sarah. I got more coffee, showered, called Kristy, made lunch plans, called the office and read the paper. Around noon, the maid came and I realized the room needed really cleaned. Sarah's scent permeated the air and I had to clear it out as Kristy would be there with me later. The maid was an elderly black woman and I asked her to change the sheets and really clean up. She looked puzzled. "Honey," I said, "my wife is coming here tonight and I was with someone else last night. The sheets and perfume smell will get me in a lot of trouble." I handed her a $20 bill. "You think you could make my problems go away." She laughed and said, "Baby, don't you worry about a thing. This room will be good as new."
I met my wife at a Max and Ermas near the counselor's office. I have to say that she looked stunning. It always turned me on to see other men stare at her and, boy, did they that day. As we walked to our booth, she held my hand. When we sat, she said, "What happened to your hand?" I lied, "Nothing, I slipped on the ice and caught it on the front steps." She didn't seem to believe me, but, didn't push it. "How's Kathy?" I sighed, "Please call her Amber and, since I'm here, and she's at home, I'd say she's an emotional wreck." Kristy chuckled, "I almost feel sorry for her. How's Roseanne?" The sarcasm dripped from her. "Sheila, my dear, her name is Sheila....I guess she's OK, haven't seen much of her lately..." Kristy smiled, "Her, I don't feel sorry for." I got a little irritated, "Kristy, I didn't come all this way to talk about other women..." She cut me off, "You're right, I'm sorry, but, you can't blame me for wanting to know what's going on." I smiled, "I don't blame you, but, I'm here with you, trying to salvage our relationship, and that's all that matters right now."
We ordered our food and, after the waitress left, she said, "I made the list, did you?" One of our assignments was making a list of good times that we shared. Supposed to remind us, I suppose, of the good in the relationship, some areas where we were happy and could expand. I had written the list and we shared our lists of good times and happy memories. Some of them, we had each listed. It was interesting and I started to feel closer to her as she read hers. She had put a lot of thought and emotion into hers (as had I) and I realized that she really did want to salvage things and that we actually had had a lot of wonderful moments. We laughed and talked about some of the old times. Lunch passed quickly and I remembered why I had loved this girl so damn much. Her looks were one thing, but, she was so smart, so witty, so tough, yet vulnerable, so quirky and so special. We walked out, hand in hand and I drove us to our appointment.
More later.
The rest of that day and the next seemed to fly by. I had a wonderful 2 days with my wife. Strangely, I guess for us, it was "normal." Nice dinners, nice conversations, good laughs, tender moments and wonderful, passionate love making. It was Thursday afternoon before I knew it and it was time for me to get back to the real world. I didn't want to leave Kristy, in fact, I wanted to bring her home with me. She cried when it was time for me to leave. I ached as well. We had made a terrible mess of out lives, and, yet, we were, I think, picking up the pieces, putting together a string of better, less explosive memories. There was some sense of peace between us, finally. Her parting words to me were, "I want to come home." I wanted, God, I wanted to just tell her, "Get in the car, it's time to go home," but I resisted. Acting on impulse always seemed to lead to disaster. Plus, Amber and the mess that I left behind were still sitting there, waiting for resolution. I told Kristy that I'd like it if she came to visit the following weekend. It seemed to make her happy.
I dreaded dealing with Amber and I was just as much in a fog on the ride home. Amber was watching TV when I came in and looked like she'd been crying for 5 straight days. She looked like she hadn't slept well, either. It was very awkward, I really didn't know what to say. I had made up my mind on the ride home to tell her it was over, but, when I saw her, and saw her condition, I just couldn't. On the other hand, I refused to discuss what I did in Pittsburgh and told her what happened with Kristy and I was our business. She must have apologized for the whole Justin mess a 100 times, but, truthfully, I didn't have the strength to discuss that either. I was quiet and silent and she asked if she should leave. I told her "no," but said, "Listen, though, you've got to let go of those fantasies. I can't live with that anymore. A little bit of fantasy is OK and fun, too much is destructive and dangerous." She whispered, "I see that now." I told her, "I hope you do and I hope you understand what I'm saying. I can't and won't tolerate it, I just can't live with it."
Part of me wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be OK, but, I just didn't know what to say, really, or how to say it. Eventually, we went to bed and I know she wanted to have sex. I told her that that was not a good idea, but, I did hold her and kiss her. She was trembling and I told her she had to get some sleep. She fell to sleep quickly and I watched her sleep. Honestly, I didn't want to hurt her and I knew how she felt, I knew how easy it was to fall under the spell of fantasy. And, the truth was, I did have real feelings for her. Hell, I had real feelings for Sheila and Kristy, too. If I could take the best qualities of all three and put them into one woman, I would have the greatest woman, ever. I touched her face and hair, gently.
The next day was more normal. A normal work day, a normal dinner out with Amber and, God help me, a normal night of love making. I had not wanted to be intimate with her that soon, but, the moment seemed right and we ended up having a wonderful night. Saturday, I had clients in the afternoon and Amber called my cell and asked if I minded if she went out with some friends that night. I didn't, in fact, I relished the idea of being alone. I got Chinese take out and went home and ate. I don't know why, but, I just didn't believe Amber wanted to be with friends. I'm not jealous, at all (how could you be in this lifestyle), but, if she was with Justin, hell, it meant she was less than truthful with me and I couldn't take that. Truthfully, if she said that she wanted to fuck some guy that night, I wouldn't have cared, but I couldn't live with a repeat performance with Justin. I had made it perfectly clear what I expected from her.
So, I found myself that night, driving to his apartment complex. And, there, what did I see in the parking lot but Amber's car. I looked up at his apartment, but, it was on the second floor and I couldn't tell anything. A light was on, but, that was all. I felt the anger rise in me, but, I did nothing. Before I left, though, I did take a picture of her car with my cell phone. Proof couldn't hurt when we finally addressed this. I went home and waited, stewing with anger. She stayed out late and I actually went to bed. Around 3:00 a.m., I heard her come in.
More later.
I dreaded dealing with Amber and I was just as much in a fog on the ride home. Amber was watching TV when I came in and looked like she'd been crying for 5 straight days. She looked like she hadn't slept well, either. It was very awkward, I really didn't know what to say. I had made up my mind on the ride home to tell her it was over, but, when I saw her, and saw her condition, I just couldn't. On the other hand, I refused to discuss what I did in Pittsburgh and told her what happened with Kristy and I was our business. She must have apologized for the whole Justin mess a 100 times, but, truthfully, I didn't have the strength to discuss that either. I was quiet and silent and she asked if she should leave. I told her "no," but said, "Listen, though, you've got to let go of those fantasies. I can't live with that anymore. A little bit of fantasy is OK and fun, too much is destructive and dangerous." She whispered, "I see that now." I told her, "I hope you do and I hope you understand what I'm saying. I can't and won't tolerate it, I just can't live with it."
Part of me wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be OK, but, I just didn't know what to say, really, or how to say it. Eventually, we went to bed and I know she wanted to have sex. I told her that that was not a good idea, but, I did hold her and kiss her. She was trembling and I told her she had to get some sleep. She fell to sleep quickly and I watched her sleep. Honestly, I didn't want to hurt her and I knew how she felt, I knew how easy it was to fall under the spell of fantasy. And, the truth was, I did have real feelings for her. Hell, I had real feelings for Sheila and Kristy, too. If I could take the best qualities of all three and put them into one woman, I would have the greatest woman, ever. I touched her face and hair, gently.
The next day was more normal. A normal work day, a normal dinner out with Amber and, God help me, a normal night of love making. I had not wanted to be intimate with her that soon, but, the moment seemed right and we ended up having a wonderful night. Saturday, I had clients in the afternoon and Amber called my cell and asked if I minded if she went out with some friends that night. I didn't, in fact, I relished the idea of being alone. I got Chinese take out and went home and ate. I don't know why, but, I just didn't believe Amber wanted to be with friends. I'm not jealous, at all (how could you be in this lifestyle), but, if she was with Justin, hell, it meant she was less than truthful with me and I couldn't take that. Truthfully, if she said that she wanted to fuck some guy that night, I wouldn't have cared, but I couldn't live with a repeat performance with Justin. I had made it perfectly clear what I expected from her.
So, I found myself that night, driving to his apartment complex. And, there, what did I see in the parking lot but Amber's car. I looked up at his apartment, but, it was on the second floor and I couldn't tell anything. A light was on, but, that was all. I felt the anger rise in me, but, I did nothing. Before I left, though, I did take a picture of her car with my cell phone. Proof couldn't hurt when we finally addressed this. I went home and waited, stewing with anger. She stayed out late and I actually went to bed. Around 3:00 a.m., I heard her come in.
More later.
Fantasy is an interesting animal though... All the long hours you spend fantasizing about something, and wanting it so bad, never seem to include a single moment spent thinking of the real world complications. For example...when you fantasized about all the fun of being a cuckolded slave to a gf, wife, etc and her lover...you likely weren't jerking off or even remotely thinking about the reality of needing out of the chastity tube for example, to deal with a real world issue, and needing to punch your gf's bf out to get the key... Like most of us, you only likely see the fun, the fulfillment, the euphoria of all the good things that may possibly come. But there-in lies the rub (no pun intended). The reality of what most of us fantasize about, simply could never exist so perfectly. "Life" intervenes and interferes with the fantasy...at which point it's not a fantasy at all, but a serious problem. In your case you discovered that the hard way and it made everything a huge mess. It also helps to create the constant chase of wanting what you're not currently getting. When you get what you want, it's not really as "all that and more" as you fantasized it would be... and yet if you get normal, the fantasy starts in your head again and normal just isn't "all that and more" as you thought it would be... This is a never ending cycle...
Lamont, you are 100% correct, it is a never ending cycle. In all seriousness, this thread's title about it going "on and on and on" says it all. The thing is, though, this go round, it took less time for me to realize that the fantasy was never going to make me happy. Further, I resisted the whole submission to Justin and Amber for a long, long time. I remember when I was in college in the 80s. Then, in this area, interracial relationships were not common and were a big deal. I had always had a fantasy to be with a black woman and, when I finally started to date one, it was breaking a taboo and living a fantasy. It didn't take me long to realize, though, that my black girl was pretty much the same as every white girl that I dated. The relationship did end and, months after, I did date another black girl. The excitement and taboo were gone, though. I'm thinking that it's the same with the cuckold life style. At some point, once you've lived it enough, I guess the polish wears off and you can see it for what it is.
You are right about fantasy, though. I would also say what I've said before, only in your mind can the people you're involved with do and say exactly what you want/need them to say. You can control their actions in your mind. In reality, you can not.
And, I could not control, Amber, I realized that now. She undressed, put a tshirt on and crawled into bed with me thinking that I was asleep. She rubbed my shoulders, softly, I know, in an effort to gently wake me. I know she wanted sex. I pretended that I just started to wake up ("What time is it?") and she started to kiss my neck and rub my crotch. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. For a moment, I thought, "Who cares if she fucked Justin?" but, I guess, I did care. I needed to know what she did. I moved to kiss her neck and could smell the fresh scent of soap. She had recently showered. There was no other way that she could still smell so "out of the shower" fresh after being out at a bar for several hours.
I stopped and said, "Amber, I don't want to play games, I know where you were tonight?" She looked at me and said, "How do you know where I was?" I muttered, "I just do." Then I said, "I told you I couldn't and wouldn't deal with that anymore?" She seemed defensive and said, "What exactly did you have to deal with, I didn't bring him around you." Now I was getting mad, "You know that I meant I didn't want you seeing him anymore." She shot back, "No, I didn't know that, but since when can you tell me what I can and can't do." Now, I was angry, "Gee, I don't know, since we're dating, I figured that I had some say in what and who you fuck." Now she was angry, "Oh, really, like I have a say with you? Let's see, you run off to Pittsburgh to fuck your wife, you bring her here for the holidays, you fuck your other girlfriend whenever you want and see her whenever the mood hits you. That's OK, right? Do I get a say in that?"
I have to admit, she caught me off guard. I guess I never thought of it that way. "Well," I said, "technically, I guess you're right, but, Justin caused nothing but problems. I specifically asked you not to see him or it would cause problems...." She cut me off, "Technically....my ass. You're so full of shit. What if I told you stop seeing Kristy, it causes problems, would you? Of course not. It's OK for me to service you and the princess, but, not OK for you to serve me and Justin?"
She had a point, I guess. "Kristy and I and you had a 3some, a little different from us trying to make you are slave, wouldn't you say?" She yelled, "I always told you Justin didn't mean anything to me and you did. But, when I leave the room, you and your princess are whispering sweet nothings to each other. When the holidays come, you and your princess have all these wonderful, romantic times, I get fucking thrown out. You're a hypocrite, you know that?" She got up to get dressed and leave.
"Hey," I said, "You're too ***** to leave and drive, just sit down." She took the ring off her finger and laid it on the nightstand, "Now, you care about me? When I needed you before, where were you? Admit it, I'm just a toy to you, something to play with when you're bored, something to get you by until you get to see your princess or your girlfriend." She started to cry.
"Calm down, look, I'm sorry, please, just calm down. We can talk about this all in the morning. I don't want you to leave, please....." She glared at me, "Fine, but I'll stay in one of the guest rooms tonight" and she stormed out of the bedroom. I lay there thinking about the truth of much of what she said. She didn't say it, but should have, "Shame on me." I heard her crying and then silence. Eventually, I fell to sleep and when I woke up in the morning, she was gone. I felt bad and wasn't sure what to do. But, I knew that she was mostly right. I had used her. Maybe, she had used me, too, but, clearly, when things started, she had wanted a normal relationship with me. I felt terribly guilty. Suddenly, my house seemed awfully empty. I had a lot to think about.
More later.
You are right about fantasy, though. I would also say what I've said before, only in your mind can the people you're involved with do and say exactly what you want/need them to say. You can control their actions in your mind. In reality, you can not.
And, I could not control, Amber, I realized that now. She undressed, put a tshirt on and crawled into bed with me thinking that I was asleep. She rubbed my shoulders, softly, I know, in an effort to gently wake me. I know she wanted sex. I pretended that I just started to wake up ("What time is it?") and she started to kiss my neck and rub my crotch. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. For a moment, I thought, "Who cares if she fucked Justin?" but, I guess, I did care. I needed to know what she did. I moved to kiss her neck and could smell the fresh scent of soap. She had recently showered. There was no other way that she could still smell so "out of the shower" fresh after being out at a bar for several hours.
I stopped and said, "Amber, I don't want to play games, I know where you were tonight?" She looked at me and said, "How do you know where I was?" I muttered, "I just do." Then I said, "I told you I couldn't and wouldn't deal with that anymore?" She seemed defensive and said, "What exactly did you have to deal with, I didn't bring him around you." Now I was getting mad, "You know that I meant I didn't want you seeing him anymore." She shot back, "No, I didn't know that, but since when can you tell me what I can and can't do." Now, I was angry, "Gee, I don't know, since we're dating, I figured that I had some say in what and who you fuck." Now she was angry, "Oh, really, like I have a say with you? Let's see, you run off to Pittsburgh to fuck your wife, you bring her here for the holidays, you fuck your other girlfriend whenever you want and see her whenever the mood hits you. That's OK, right? Do I get a say in that?"
I have to admit, she caught me off guard. I guess I never thought of it that way. "Well," I said, "technically, I guess you're right, but, Justin caused nothing but problems. I specifically asked you not to see him or it would cause problems...." She cut me off, "Technically....my ass. You're so full of shit. What if I told you stop seeing Kristy, it causes problems, would you? Of course not. It's OK for me to service you and the princess, but, not OK for you to serve me and Justin?"
She had a point, I guess. "Kristy and I and you had a 3some, a little different from us trying to make you are slave, wouldn't you say?" She yelled, "I always told you Justin didn't mean anything to me and you did. But, when I leave the room, you and your princess are whispering sweet nothings to each other. When the holidays come, you and your princess have all these wonderful, romantic times, I get fucking thrown out. You're a hypocrite, you know that?" She got up to get dressed and leave.
"Hey," I said, "You're too ***** to leave and drive, just sit down." She took the ring off her finger and laid it on the nightstand, "Now, you care about me? When I needed you before, where were you? Admit it, I'm just a toy to you, something to play with when you're bored, something to get you by until you get to see your princess or your girlfriend." She started to cry.
"Calm down, look, I'm sorry, please, just calm down. We can talk about this all in the morning. I don't want you to leave, please....." She glared at me, "Fine, but I'll stay in one of the guest rooms tonight" and she stormed out of the bedroom. I lay there thinking about the truth of much of what she said. She didn't say it, but should have, "Shame on me." I heard her crying and then silence. Eventually, I fell to sleep and when I woke up in the morning, she was gone. I felt bad and wasn't sure what to do. But, I knew that she was mostly right. I had used her. Maybe, she had used me, too, but, clearly, when things started, she had wanted a normal relationship with me. I felt terribly guilty. Suddenly, my house seemed awfully empty. I had a lot to think about.
More later.
As I worshiped and kissed her foot, she made it clear what she expected of me the next day. "You better beg for forgiveness and then you need to understand that he is in complete control. Not you, never you, what he says, goes. What he tells you to do, you do." She laughed, "He is in charge, completely, of you and me." As I kissed her feet, I told her I understood. She rubbed my cock with her other foot, "If he locks you in your cage, you don't question it. If he tells you he wants you in women's clothes, you do it and look as good as you can for him." I shook my head. She glared at me, "No fuck ups this time or we are done forever." She played with my cock with her hand and every now and then, to prove a point, would squeeze it or yank it. As she talked about him, I could tell the idea of complete submission to Justin was turning her on. Before long, she was straddling my face and I gladly orally pleased her. She grinded hard into my face and I struggled to lick her fast enough. She came again and rolled over. I moved in to have sex with her and she just told me "no."
She slept easily, I could not. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I had started to sober up and realized that just 2 weeks early I had beat Justin up, I had not wanted to be anyone's slave and yet, here I was, again. I craved the submission to Amber. That night, I realized, that a part of me would always need to be submissive. Not submissive to Justin, necessarily, but, to Amber. Amber, though, made it clear that submission to her meant submission to him. The idea of being completely controlled by her and him left my cock hard and aching all night long.
The next day was Friday and I showered and got ready for work. I didn't hesitate in putting a pair of panties on under my suit. I was on edge all day, wondering what that night would bring. Amber called me at lunch time and told me to be home by 5:30. Justin and her were calling off work that night and I better be ready to make amends.
I got home and Amber was taking a nap. I slid on a nice pink t shirt and a pair of little shorts. I also wore ankle socks. By 6:00, Amber was up and the door bell rang, it was Justin. She let him in and I heard her kissing him in the foyer. He came up to the bedroom, with her behind him. He glared at me. I immediately said, "Justin, I want to...." and he grabbed my hair and pushed me down to the ground. "What did you call me?" he yelled. Mistake one, on my part. "I'm sorry, Master, Master, please forgive me for what I did last time, I don't know what I was thinking, I....." I said as I kissed the tops of his socked feet. He grabbed my hair and made me look up at him. "I should kick your ass right now," he said and slapped me, hard, across the face. My initial reaction was to lunge at him, but, instead, I took it in stride. I had drank a few beers that afternoon and had decided that whatever they wanted, I would do. I was going to be the submissive slave that they wanted. "Yes, Master, you should, but..." Justin walked past me and into my walk in closet. He came back with one of my belts.
"On your hands and knees, bitch," he said. I complied and he said, "What are you?" I said, "Your slave" and he whacked my ass with the belt. "Take off those shorts and let me see your panties," he said. I complied and he started to whip my ass, repeatedly. I won't lie, it hurt like hell and I wanted to stop it, but, I didn't dare. He stopped and walked around in front of me, stopping with his feet near my face (which was buried in the carpet). I again started to kiss the tops of his feet. He then sat on the bed and said, "Get over here and undress me." I slid his socks and jeans off, kissing his thighs and legs with passionate, open mouth kisses. Amber was watching it all, smiling. I took his shirt off and kissed his shoulders, chest and neck. All the while, I rubbed his legs and cock with my hands. He was rock hard. I started to kiss his cock through his underwear and said, "Master, let me suck you, please, let me suck you." He laughed and said, "Wouldn't you rather have me fuck you?" I looked up at him and nodded my head yes. Amber had the lube and lubed his cock and my ass.
I started to hug him and kiss his shoulders and pulled him on top of me on the bed. I muttered, "Fuck me, please, fuck me." I put my legs up, feet pointing to the ceiling and over his shoulders and he entered me, hard. He was rough with me, pounding deeply and not gently. At one point, I moaned and he slowed down, looked at Amber, and said, "Shut him up." Amber took one of her socks off and stuffed it in my mouth. Then, Justin went back to his hard and deep penetration. He must have cum earlier that day because he fucked me for a good 15 minutes and hadn't cum. He pulled out and rolled me over on my knees to take me from behind. Again, he thrust deep into me. I wanted to moan, but, didn't. I bowed my head and spit the sock out and started to say, "Cum in me, please, Master, cum in me." He grabbed my hair and with one final, deep thrust, started to blow his load in me. He collapsed on top of me and pulled out after a minute. I rolled over and kissed his chest and put my hand through his hair. I kept repeating, "Whatever you want, I'll do, please, I'm yours now." I kissed his chest, licking the sweat off him. I wanted him to know that I would do what he wanted.
Finally, Amber, who had watched it all, mounted me and started to grind her pussy against my hard dick. I ached from the whipping and fucking, but, didn't dare say anything. She rocked back and forth on top of me and then rolled over, spreading her legs open. I dove in with my mouth, kissing, licking and sucking her pussy. She was soaking wet. She came in quick order and they both lay there, breathing heavy, on the bed.
I then moved down near their feet and began gently kissing their feet. Finally, Justin said, "Get me a beer" and I jumped up, ran downstairs and brought him a cold beer back. When I came back, he told me I needed to be caged again. I went into the bathroom and brought it back, allowing Amber to lock me up. I then moved right to Justin's feet and started to kiss them. Justin looked at me and said, "We'll go over the rules tonight, but, for now, I need a nap." I simply said, "Yes, Master," got up, closed the door behind me and went to the guest bedroom to await our discussion.
As I lay in bed, I realized that whatever edge that I had been feeling was gone. I felt...relaxed, at ease. I was sort of shocked by my completely calm mood. It dawned on me that a big part of me needed the submission. This time, I had to figure out a way to make it work. I lay there, caged, and thought of Amber and how badly I wanted her. But, she was with him.....
More later.
She slept easily, I could not. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I had started to sober up and realized that just 2 weeks early I had beat Justin up, I had not wanted to be anyone's slave and yet, here I was, again. I craved the submission to Amber. That night, I realized, that a part of me would always need to be submissive. Not submissive to Justin, necessarily, but, to Amber. Amber, though, made it clear that submission to her meant submission to him. The idea of being completely controlled by her and him left my cock hard and aching all night long.
The next day was Friday and I showered and got ready for work. I didn't hesitate in putting a pair of panties on under my suit. I was on edge all day, wondering what that night would bring. Amber called me at lunch time and told me to be home by 5:30. Justin and her were calling off work that night and I better be ready to make amends.
I got home and Amber was taking a nap. I slid on a nice pink t shirt and a pair of little shorts. I also wore ankle socks. By 6:00, Amber was up and the door bell rang, it was Justin. She let him in and I heard her kissing him in the foyer. He came up to the bedroom, with her behind him. He glared at me. I immediately said, "Justin, I want to...." and he grabbed my hair and pushed me down to the ground. "What did you call me?" he yelled. Mistake one, on my part. "I'm sorry, Master, Master, please forgive me for what I did last time, I don't know what I was thinking, I....." I said as I kissed the tops of his socked feet. He grabbed my hair and made me look up at him. "I should kick your ass right now," he said and slapped me, hard, across the face. My initial reaction was to lunge at him, but, instead, I took it in stride. I had drank a few beers that afternoon and had decided that whatever they wanted, I would do. I was going to be the submissive slave that they wanted. "Yes, Master, you should, but..." Justin walked past me and into my walk in closet. He came back with one of my belts.
"On your hands and knees, bitch," he said. I complied and he said, "What are you?" I said, "Your slave" and he whacked my ass with the belt. "Take off those shorts and let me see your panties," he said. I complied and he started to whip my ass, repeatedly. I won't lie, it hurt like hell and I wanted to stop it, but, I didn't dare. He stopped and walked around in front of me, stopping with his feet near my face (which was buried in the carpet). I again started to kiss the tops of his feet. He then sat on the bed and said, "Get over here and undress me." I slid his socks and jeans off, kissing his thighs and legs with passionate, open mouth kisses. Amber was watching it all, smiling. I took his shirt off and kissed his shoulders, chest and neck. All the while, I rubbed his legs and cock with my hands. He was rock hard. I started to kiss his cock through his underwear and said, "Master, let me suck you, please, let me suck you." He laughed and said, "Wouldn't you rather have me fuck you?" I looked up at him and nodded my head yes. Amber had the lube and lubed his cock and my ass.
I started to hug him and kiss his shoulders and pulled him on top of me on the bed. I muttered, "Fuck me, please, fuck me." I put my legs up, feet pointing to the ceiling and over his shoulders and he entered me, hard. He was rough with me, pounding deeply and not gently. At one point, I moaned and he slowed down, looked at Amber, and said, "Shut him up." Amber took one of her socks off and stuffed it in my mouth. Then, Justin went back to his hard and deep penetration. He must have cum earlier that day because he fucked me for a good 15 minutes and hadn't cum. He pulled out and rolled me over on my knees to take me from behind. Again, he thrust deep into me. I wanted to moan, but, didn't. I bowed my head and spit the sock out and started to say, "Cum in me, please, Master, cum in me." He grabbed my hair and with one final, deep thrust, started to blow his load in me. He collapsed on top of me and pulled out after a minute. I rolled over and kissed his chest and put my hand through his hair. I kept repeating, "Whatever you want, I'll do, please, I'm yours now." I kissed his chest, licking the sweat off him. I wanted him to know that I would do what he wanted.
Finally, Amber, who had watched it all, mounted me and started to grind her pussy against my hard dick. I ached from the whipping and fucking, but, didn't dare say anything. She rocked back and forth on top of me and then rolled over, spreading her legs open. I dove in with my mouth, kissing, licking and sucking her pussy. She was soaking wet. She came in quick order and they both lay there, breathing heavy, on the bed.
I then moved down near their feet and began gently kissing their feet. Finally, Justin said, "Get me a beer" and I jumped up, ran downstairs and brought him a cold beer back. When I came back, he told me I needed to be caged again. I went into the bathroom and brought it back, allowing Amber to lock me up. I then moved right to Justin's feet and started to kiss them. Justin looked at me and said, "We'll go over the rules tonight, but, for now, I need a nap." I simply said, "Yes, Master," got up, closed the door behind me and went to the guest bedroom to await our discussion.
As I lay in bed, I realized that whatever edge that I had been feeling was gone. I felt...relaxed, at ease. I was sort of shocked by my completely calm mood. It dawned on me that a big part of me needed the submission. This time, I had to figure out a way to make it work. I lay there, caged, and thought of Amber and how badly I wanted her. But, she was with him.....
More later.
steev, it did seem to be what I needed and js, you hit the nail on the head with the notion of craving what we can't have.
In fact, as I lay there in the guest bedroom, I tried to make sense of my sudden change in attitude. I was so tired, having not slept much the night before, plus, I'd been steadily drinking since afternoon. Truthfully, too, my body hurt from the punishment and sex. I heard the shower go on in the Master Bathroom and assumed Justin was cleaning up before his nap. The sound of the water seemed to soothe me even more and I felt like I was dozing in and out of sleep.
The truth was, I found Amber to be incredibly sexually attractive. She was young, hot and pretty and, obviously, had enough quirks and kinks to interest me. She gave completely in to her desire to be submissive. It turned her on and she didn't seem to have any doubts about it. She was actually fairly intelligent and well read (although she read a lot of stuff I didn't care for). Over time, I grew more attracted to her. I've always said that the more you like someone, the prettier and more attractive they become in your eyes. The same is true for disliking someone. I've dated models that, over time, I had no attraction, sexually or physically or mentally to, because of their personalities, etc. Then, too, the more she seemed to slip through my fingers, the more I wanted her. Amber is one of the few women that I know that I can simply look at and get rock hard.
Then, there's Justin. I have said repeatedly how attracted I am to him. He fits that limited "look" of guys that I find attractive. His look is incredible, but, in addition, his command of things, his domination, his bad boy ways, he's just......I don't know, I felt like he cast a spell on me. He exudes sexuality. Plus, I've said that I love the idea of being submissive to a guy that I feel professionally and intelligently superior to(and I'm not being snobby). He's kind of a blue collar type guy who did poorly in school, who really isn't that bright, but, who can completely bring to my knees. He knows he can control me and he is completely comfortable with that. He takes complete control without any questions.
The idea of sexually serving both of them, I realized, was just too much of a turn on. My wife's lover, well, I grew to find him attractive, but, he wasn't like Justin. If Amber ditched us both, I'm sure I could go on serving him. He's just in that small percentage of guys that, for reasons I don't understand, turns me on. Once not long ago, the 3 of us stopped at a restaurant to get take out food to eat at home. Amber ordered first, then Justin, then me. While Justin was ordering, Amber took her hand and rubbed his ass ever so slightly. I stood behind them and was completely turned on. Something little like that just sent me over the edge. Then, his response to her action was like, I don't know, like it was to be expected that she would want to touch him. He exudes dominance and sexuality.
But, I thought, if I wanted them so badly, why did I try to run from it? Well, despite what's often written here, I can say, it is not always pleasant to be dominated and humiliated. My pride gets/got in the way. I say that I want a Master, but, I only want to follow the orders that I like or agree with. Hard, too, is the fact that I didn't necessarily want a repeat of my marriage with Amber. I didn't want Amber to see some guy fucking me, dominating me, humiliating me. Male pride, hmmmm? Also, as I've said, fantasy is always better than reality because in fantasy, people say and do what you want and need them to do. You can control their every action and thought. Not so in real life. Sometimes, they do and say things that you don't like or want. And, with fantasy, you can take a break, turn it off when you want. Not always true with reality.
But, in the end, I realized that sexually and emotionally, I missed Amber and Justin. I craved them, badly. I had absolute lust for them. I needed for my own sake to submit to them. I needed to explore that. I wanted it and why was I denying it? That night, I had no idea how long it would last and in what fashion.
I was afraid to fall asleep, for fear that I would wake up sober and talk myself out of what I was doing. So, I kept drinking. About 2 hours later, Amber came to get me and brought me back to the Master Bedroom. Justin sat in the chair that sits in the one corner. Amber was in lingerie that I had bought for her weeks earlier. Justin began, "First thing, understand that she (pointing to Amber) belongs to me. She is my...property, my toy. She is here to serve me, not the other way around." I nodded my head. "You have no rights to her unless I say so and that includes her feet. Get it?" I nodded. "Maybe, if you show me that you will do what I tell you, I'll let you have her again, but, for now, she's off limits unless I say so."
"As for you," he continued, "You are my property, my slave, my toy. You will do whatever the fuck I tell you, when I tell you." I nodded. "I expect you to dress like I want and act like I want. Your job is to satisfy me, not her" he said as he grabbed her ass and rubbed it. "You will wear your cage for as long as I tell you. To show you that I'm not a dick, I'll let you out when things come up...I don't want to embarrass you or fuck your life up." I smiled and nodded. "Actually, I need your life to be as good as possible, I'll continue to expect you to support me, give me money when I need it or want it." Now, he paused, "Work's been a little slow, so to start with, I'll probably need at least $200 a week." I told him that would be OK, I would be honored to give him that.
"This bedroom is mine now. I still plan on only staying over a night or two a week, but, I don't want you or your clothes in here anymore" I told him I would take a guest bedroom, he was, after all, the Master. He kind of smiled. "Good, I'm tired of hearing that shower run in the morning and I'm tired of seeing your things." He now spread his legs apart and pulled my head towards his crotch. I open mouth kissed his inner thighs and his cock through his underwear. After a minute, he pushed my head away.
"Tomorrow, I have a date. I want you to clean my apartment, make it spotless. Do my clothes, too. Go to the store, get my food, buy some wine and beer." I nodded. "You'll do that every week." I looked at Amber and he slapped her ass, "Don't look at her, she knows who I'm going out with tomorrow and she has nothing to say about it. Amber is my....fuck toy, right baby?" Amber nodded. "You need to get this straight, you are both here to serve me and what I want." I said I understood. "My car needs cleaned, inside and out, but I don't want you taking it to a car wash, you need to do that." He went on, "Go to Best Buy tomorrow and get me the movies that I tell you. And, I need you to give Amber money so she can pick up some clothes for me from the mall tomorrow." I told him I would.
"You also need to keep this bitch here dressed the way I like. She needs new shit, so get her some stuff tomorrow or Sunday. While you're at it, get a maid's outfit for you, I want you to wear that when you're cleaning my apartment. Not for tomorrow, but, for all the other times. I want you to look slutty in it." He laughed. "Cuz, you are a slut, aren't you, my slut?" I finally spoke, "I am your slut" and I moved back to kissing his legs and cock. "You love that cock, don't you?" I simply mumbled "Mmmm, hmmmm."
"I know you two like to fuck around when I'm not here, that's over unless I say it's OK. Prove to me that you'll do what I want and I won't be a dick. I let you have your woman back, sometimes." I looked at him and sincerely said, "She's your woman, now, Justin...Can I still call you Justin?" He laughed and said, "She is my woman and Justin or Master or....Sir is OK."
Now Amber spoke, "This will make us all happy, I know it. Are you going to follow the rules this time?" I said I would. Justin continued, "OK, there'll be more things to talk about, but, I'm hungry. I want Chinese food so go get some and bring it back. Stop and get more beer, too."
I dressed and went and got our food and beer. The rest of the night, we stayed downstairs. Justin played some Wii and we watched TV. Amber served him his beers. I massaged his feet while we watched TV or he played. As I said, there was a calmness to me. I can't describe it, but, it was like all my games were over. I let my pride and reservations go and didn't have to hide anything.
As we got drunker, I started to kiss his legs and feet while Amber kissed his chest and shoulders. She moved down to blow him and I started to kiss his neck. I moved near his lips and he stopped, "Don't kiss me on the lips," he said to me, "You will kiss me everywhere else but not there." I said I was sorry. He stood up and motioned me to his ass. I started to lick and kiss his ass while Amber sucked his cock. I'd also lick his ball sack from time to time while Amber took his cock in and out of her mouth. Finally, he came.
He was tired, which was good because I was exhausted and had a shit load of work for him to do the next day. He was going to stay the night, but, since he had already came, he didn't want Amber in bed with him so he said that we could sleep together. "You can have her feet tonight," he said. Then he went up to bed. We both went to the guest bedroom and I asked her if this was what she wanted. "It's what we both want," she said. "Really, it's what we both need." She was right. I moved to her feet and kissed them until she fell asleep.
In fact, as I lay there in the guest bedroom, I tried to make sense of my sudden change in attitude. I was so tired, having not slept much the night before, plus, I'd been steadily drinking since afternoon. Truthfully, too, my body hurt from the punishment and sex. I heard the shower go on in the Master Bathroom and assumed Justin was cleaning up before his nap. The sound of the water seemed to soothe me even more and I felt like I was dozing in and out of sleep.
The truth was, I found Amber to be incredibly sexually attractive. She was young, hot and pretty and, obviously, had enough quirks and kinks to interest me. She gave completely in to her desire to be submissive. It turned her on and she didn't seem to have any doubts about it. She was actually fairly intelligent and well read (although she read a lot of stuff I didn't care for). Over time, I grew more attracted to her. I've always said that the more you like someone, the prettier and more attractive they become in your eyes. The same is true for disliking someone. I've dated models that, over time, I had no attraction, sexually or physically or mentally to, because of their personalities, etc. Then, too, the more she seemed to slip through my fingers, the more I wanted her. Amber is one of the few women that I know that I can simply look at and get rock hard.
Then, there's Justin. I have said repeatedly how attracted I am to him. He fits that limited "look" of guys that I find attractive. His look is incredible, but, in addition, his command of things, his domination, his bad boy ways, he's just......I don't know, I felt like he cast a spell on me. He exudes sexuality. Plus, I've said that I love the idea of being submissive to a guy that I feel professionally and intelligently superior to(and I'm not being snobby). He's kind of a blue collar type guy who did poorly in school, who really isn't that bright, but, who can completely bring to my knees. He knows he can control me and he is completely comfortable with that. He takes complete control without any questions.
The idea of sexually serving both of them, I realized, was just too much of a turn on. My wife's lover, well, I grew to find him attractive, but, he wasn't like Justin. If Amber ditched us both, I'm sure I could go on serving him. He's just in that small percentage of guys that, for reasons I don't understand, turns me on. Once not long ago, the 3 of us stopped at a restaurant to get take out food to eat at home. Amber ordered first, then Justin, then me. While Justin was ordering, Amber took her hand and rubbed his ass ever so slightly. I stood behind them and was completely turned on. Something little like that just sent me over the edge. Then, his response to her action was like, I don't know, like it was to be expected that she would want to touch him. He exudes dominance and sexuality.
But, I thought, if I wanted them so badly, why did I try to run from it? Well, despite what's often written here, I can say, it is not always pleasant to be dominated and humiliated. My pride gets/got in the way. I say that I want a Master, but, I only want to follow the orders that I like or agree with. Hard, too, is the fact that I didn't necessarily want a repeat of my marriage with Amber. I didn't want Amber to see some guy fucking me, dominating me, humiliating me. Male pride, hmmmm? Also, as I've said, fantasy is always better than reality because in fantasy, people say and do what you want and need them to do. You can control their every action and thought. Not so in real life. Sometimes, they do and say things that you don't like or want. And, with fantasy, you can take a break, turn it off when you want. Not always true with reality.
But, in the end, I realized that sexually and emotionally, I missed Amber and Justin. I craved them, badly. I had absolute lust for them. I needed for my own sake to submit to them. I needed to explore that. I wanted it and why was I denying it? That night, I had no idea how long it would last and in what fashion.
I was afraid to fall asleep, for fear that I would wake up sober and talk myself out of what I was doing. So, I kept drinking. About 2 hours later, Amber came to get me and brought me back to the Master Bedroom. Justin sat in the chair that sits in the one corner. Amber was in lingerie that I had bought for her weeks earlier. Justin began, "First thing, understand that she (pointing to Amber) belongs to me. She is my...property, my toy. She is here to serve me, not the other way around." I nodded my head. "You have no rights to her unless I say so and that includes her feet. Get it?" I nodded. "Maybe, if you show me that you will do what I tell you, I'll let you have her again, but, for now, she's off limits unless I say so."
"As for you," he continued, "You are my property, my slave, my toy. You will do whatever the fuck I tell you, when I tell you." I nodded. "I expect you to dress like I want and act like I want. Your job is to satisfy me, not her" he said as he grabbed her ass and rubbed it. "You will wear your cage for as long as I tell you. To show you that I'm not a dick, I'll let you out when things come up...I don't want to embarrass you or fuck your life up." I smiled and nodded. "Actually, I need your life to be as good as possible, I'll continue to expect you to support me, give me money when I need it or want it." Now, he paused, "Work's been a little slow, so to start with, I'll probably need at least $200 a week." I told him that would be OK, I would be honored to give him that.
"This bedroom is mine now. I still plan on only staying over a night or two a week, but, I don't want you or your clothes in here anymore" I told him I would take a guest bedroom, he was, after all, the Master. He kind of smiled. "Good, I'm tired of hearing that shower run in the morning and I'm tired of seeing your things." He now spread his legs apart and pulled my head towards his crotch. I open mouth kissed his inner thighs and his cock through his underwear. After a minute, he pushed my head away.
"Tomorrow, I have a date. I want you to clean my apartment, make it spotless. Do my clothes, too. Go to the store, get my food, buy some wine and beer." I nodded. "You'll do that every week." I looked at Amber and he slapped her ass, "Don't look at her, she knows who I'm going out with tomorrow and she has nothing to say about it. Amber is my....fuck toy, right baby?" Amber nodded. "You need to get this straight, you are both here to serve me and what I want." I said I understood. "My car needs cleaned, inside and out, but I don't want you taking it to a car wash, you need to do that." He went on, "Go to Best Buy tomorrow and get me the movies that I tell you. And, I need you to give Amber money so she can pick up some clothes for me from the mall tomorrow." I told him I would.
"You also need to keep this bitch here dressed the way I like. She needs new shit, so get her some stuff tomorrow or Sunday. While you're at it, get a maid's outfit for you, I want you to wear that when you're cleaning my apartment. Not for tomorrow, but, for all the other times. I want you to look slutty in it." He laughed. "Cuz, you are a slut, aren't you, my slut?" I finally spoke, "I am your slut" and I moved back to kissing his legs and cock. "You love that cock, don't you?" I simply mumbled "Mmmm, hmmmm."
"I know you two like to fuck around when I'm not here, that's over unless I say it's OK. Prove to me that you'll do what I want and I won't be a dick. I let you have your woman back, sometimes." I looked at him and sincerely said, "She's your woman, now, Justin...Can I still call you Justin?" He laughed and said, "She is my woman and Justin or Master or....Sir is OK."
Now Amber spoke, "This will make us all happy, I know it. Are you going to follow the rules this time?" I said I would. Justin continued, "OK, there'll be more things to talk about, but, I'm hungry. I want Chinese food so go get some and bring it back. Stop and get more beer, too."
I dressed and went and got our food and beer. The rest of the night, we stayed downstairs. Justin played some Wii and we watched TV. Amber served him his beers. I massaged his feet while we watched TV or he played. As I said, there was a calmness to me. I can't describe it, but, it was like all my games were over. I let my pride and reservations go and didn't have to hide anything.
As we got drunker, I started to kiss his legs and feet while Amber kissed his chest and shoulders. She moved down to blow him and I started to kiss his neck. I moved near his lips and he stopped, "Don't kiss me on the lips," he said to me, "You will kiss me everywhere else but not there." I said I was sorry. He stood up and motioned me to his ass. I started to lick and kiss his ass while Amber sucked his cock. I'd also lick his ball sack from time to time while Amber took his cock in and out of her mouth. Finally, he came.
He was tired, which was good because I was exhausted and had a shit load of work for him to do the next day. He was going to stay the night, but, since he had already came, he didn't want Amber in bed with him so he said that we could sleep together. "You can have her feet tonight," he said. Then he went up to bed. We both went to the guest bedroom and I asked her if this was what she wanted. "It's what we both want," she said. "Really, it's what we both need." She was right. I moved to her feet and kissed them until she fell asleep.
I lay in the darkness while she slept next to me. Every few moments, I rubbed her panty clad ass with my hand. I knew I shouldn't be touching her at all, she was, after all, now Justin's. I just couldn't help it. My cock ached. I wanted to kiss her shoulders, her neck, her mouth, suck her breasts and make passionate love to her. I wasn't allowed, though, and that seemed to turn me on all the more. The chastity device hurt. I hated it, but, figured I needed to get used to it, I'd be in it for awhile. I could smell her perfume and it was driving me insane.
I wondered, too, what exactly she had meant when she said this was what we needed and wanted. Had Justin told her about all the times I sucked him in the past? Did she know he had fucked me before? I didn't think he would tell her, but, who knew? Who knew what they talked about when they were alone or if they talked at all? Thankfully, I drifted off to sleep and woke up very early.
My cock ached. So did my ass and my head. I immediately threw some sweats on and went outside to tackle his car. It was going to be a nice day for March. In fact, we had been having some fantastically warm weather. I windexed the inside of his windows, used some cleaner on his dash and vacuumed his car. It was a mess. There were cups, old wrappers, socks, and tons of junk. It took me a good hour to get the inside clean and then I washed the outside. I had not washed a car in 20 years and it felt great. I was getting hungry and craved bagels so I drove to the closest bakery/coffee shop. Before I left, both Amber and Justin were still asleep. I didn't feel quite like going home so I stopped at the lingerie store to get Amber some new lingerie outfits. I found several sexy, slutty ones and then stopped dead in my tracks. There was a very sexy French Maid outfit on display. I figured it would be perfect for me to wear and I knew it would please Justin. I would wear it with black fishnets and a pair of white lace anklets. I would also get a nice pair of heels. It was a bit strange because I had to buy a medium/large for me and all Amber's were smalls (I loaded up on school girl outfits for her). I really imagined the clerk knew the one outfit was for me and the rest for someone else.
I went home and couldn't wait to try on my uniform. I went into another guest bedroom, closed the door quietly and put on my outfit. I even pulled out one of my wigs from my Kevin/Kristy days and had to admit that I felt good. Just then, the door opened to the room and it was Justin. He looked surprised at first then started to laugh. I was so humiliated. I didn't know what to say or do, but, he said, "That's good, I like that you follow orders." He closed the door and said, "Get on your knees and drain my cock." I could see he had a raging hard on and I did as told, pulling his underwear down and slowly taking him in my mouth. My hands were on his ass and I slowly slid one finger up and down his crack. I took him deeper in my mouth but still sucked slowly. Then I started to gently stroke the base of his shaft with my free hand, while taking his head in and out of my mouth. He sat on the bed and I went up to his ear and moved up to kiss his chest and shoulders while slowly stoking his cock. I moved to his ear and thrust my tongue into it then whispered, "I love your cock." He grabbed my head and pushed it down to his cock and I now sucked deeply and quickly. He tensed and blew his load in my mouth. Oh, how I had missed his taste.
I kissed his thighs, stomach, chest and neck. He took one of his hands and moved it up and down my ass, finally, taking a finger and thrusting it in and out of my ass. I moaned slightly and bucked my ass up and down to his motion. Finally, he said, "I know you want my cock again, but, you have work to do. Get my apartment clean."
I changed into my sweats and a tshirt but brought the maid outfit with me. As soon as I got to his place, I changed into and began the long process of cleaning his apartment. It was a mess and I started with his laundry. I must have smelled his dirty underwear and socks a 100 times and I know if I wasn't caged, I would have taken a sock, wrapped it around my cock and jacked off into it while inhaling his scent from the underwear crotches. Instead, I just fantasized about him. I also saw several of Amber's panties, socks, and clothes. She'd been here a lot during our split. I took her dirty laundry and inhaled it deeply. The crotches of her panties all had his dried cum on them which seemed to turn me on more. Some of her panties and bras needed hand washed, so I did those, while throwing a load in the complex's washer. Every time I threw a load of clothes in, I had to change back into my sweats for fear that someone would see me. I wanted to go down in the maid's costume but if another tenant saw me........
I scrubbed his floors, his toilet, his bathtub, dusted, did his dishes, vacuumed, you name it. I neatly folded all his clean clothes and put Amber's in a bag and brought them to the car. I knew he didn't want his date to see any hint of Amber's things. I did his shopping then went to get his movies. His apartment looked and smelled great and he was set, I'm sure, for a great night. Just as I was leaving to go home, he came in. I was in my sweats and he snickered, "You look better in your uniform."
I knew I looked terrible, as I had worked all day. "Your slut got to fuck me while you were working here," he said. He shook his head, "You know, if I told her to eat my shit, she would, there isn't anything that slut won't do for me." I nodded. He laughed, "You still want her, too, I don't get it, she's a fucking *****....Well, I'll tell you what, since you were such a good bitch today, I'm going to let you have some fun, tonight." I thought he'd unlock me, but, instead, he said, "You can have her feet, and, I guess, you can kiss her. No eating her out, though. Not yet, although, I'm sure you'd love to eat my cum out of her pussy." He laughed again. "Where's my money?" I gave him my last $220 and he just smiled. "Becky's staying over tonight, so, the ***** is all yours for awhile," he said.
Before I left, I wanted to tell him that I was glad he had forgiven me. "Please, before I leave, can I just worship your feet for a couple of minutes?" I said. Instead, he took his dirty socks off and said, "I don't have time now, but here" and he thrust them into my underwear near my caged cock. "Have fun with them," he said and headed to his bedroom.
I drove home, anxious to finally be alone with Amber and tell her that I did have some privileges with her that night. Then, I panicked, what if she wouldn't let me kiss her.
More later.
I wondered, too, what exactly she had meant when she said this was what we needed and wanted. Had Justin told her about all the times I sucked him in the past? Did she know he had fucked me before? I didn't think he would tell her, but, who knew? Who knew what they talked about when they were alone or if they talked at all? Thankfully, I drifted off to sleep and woke up very early.
My cock ached. So did my ass and my head. I immediately threw some sweats on and went outside to tackle his car. It was going to be a nice day for March. In fact, we had been having some fantastically warm weather. I windexed the inside of his windows, used some cleaner on his dash and vacuumed his car. It was a mess. There were cups, old wrappers, socks, and tons of junk. It took me a good hour to get the inside clean and then I washed the outside. I had not washed a car in 20 years and it felt great. I was getting hungry and craved bagels so I drove to the closest bakery/coffee shop. Before I left, both Amber and Justin were still asleep. I didn't feel quite like going home so I stopped at the lingerie store to get Amber some new lingerie outfits. I found several sexy, slutty ones and then stopped dead in my tracks. There was a very sexy French Maid outfit on display. I figured it would be perfect for me to wear and I knew it would please Justin. I would wear it with black fishnets and a pair of white lace anklets. I would also get a nice pair of heels. It was a bit strange because I had to buy a medium/large for me and all Amber's were smalls (I loaded up on school girl outfits for her). I really imagined the clerk knew the one outfit was for me and the rest for someone else.
I went home and couldn't wait to try on my uniform. I went into another guest bedroom, closed the door quietly and put on my outfit. I even pulled out one of my wigs from my Kevin/Kristy days and had to admit that I felt good. Just then, the door opened to the room and it was Justin. He looked surprised at first then started to laugh. I was so humiliated. I didn't know what to say or do, but, he said, "That's good, I like that you follow orders." He closed the door and said, "Get on your knees and drain my cock." I could see he had a raging hard on and I did as told, pulling his underwear down and slowly taking him in my mouth. My hands were on his ass and I slowly slid one finger up and down his crack. I took him deeper in my mouth but still sucked slowly. Then I started to gently stroke the base of his shaft with my free hand, while taking his head in and out of my mouth. He sat on the bed and I went up to his ear and moved up to kiss his chest and shoulders while slowly stoking his cock. I moved to his ear and thrust my tongue into it then whispered, "I love your cock." He grabbed my head and pushed it down to his cock and I now sucked deeply and quickly. He tensed and blew his load in my mouth. Oh, how I had missed his taste.
I kissed his thighs, stomach, chest and neck. He took one of his hands and moved it up and down my ass, finally, taking a finger and thrusting it in and out of my ass. I moaned slightly and bucked my ass up and down to his motion. Finally, he said, "I know you want my cock again, but, you have work to do. Get my apartment clean."
I changed into my sweats and a tshirt but brought the maid outfit with me. As soon as I got to his place, I changed into and began the long process of cleaning his apartment. It was a mess and I started with his laundry. I must have smelled his dirty underwear and socks a 100 times and I know if I wasn't caged, I would have taken a sock, wrapped it around my cock and jacked off into it while inhaling his scent from the underwear crotches. Instead, I just fantasized about him. I also saw several of Amber's panties, socks, and clothes. She'd been here a lot during our split. I took her dirty laundry and inhaled it deeply. The crotches of her panties all had his dried cum on them which seemed to turn me on more. Some of her panties and bras needed hand washed, so I did those, while throwing a load in the complex's washer. Every time I threw a load of clothes in, I had to change back into my sweats for fear that someone would see me. I wanted to go down in the maid's costume but if another tenant saw me........
I scrubbed his floors, his toilet, his bathtub, dusted, did his dishes, vacuumed, you name it. I neatly folded all his clean clothes and put Amber's in a bag and brought them to the car. I knew he didn't want his date to see any hint of Amber's things. I did his shopping then went to get his movies. His apartment looked and smelled great and he was set, I'm sure, for a great night. Just as I was leaving to go home, he came in. I was in my sweats and he snickered, "You look better in your uniform."
I knew I looked terrible, as I had worked all day. "Your slut got to fuck me while you were working here," he said. He shook his head, "You know, if I told her to eat my shit, she would, there isn't anything that slut won't do for me." I nodded. He laughed, "You still want her, too, I don't get it, she's a fucking *****....Well, I'll tell you what, since you were such a good bitch today, I'm going to let you have some fun, tonight." I thought he'd unlock me, but, instead, he said, "You can have her feet, and, I guess, you can kiss her. No eating her out, though. Not yet, although, I'm sure you'd love to eat my cum out of her pussy." He laughed again. "Where's my money?" I gave him my last $220 and he just smiled. "Becky's staying over tonight, so, the ***** is all yours for awhile," he said.
Before I left, I wanted to tell him that I was glad he had forgiven me. "Please, before I leave, can I just worship your feet for a couple of minutes?" I said. Instead, he took his dirty socks off and said, "I don't have time now, but here" and he thrust them into my underwear near my caged cock. "Have fun with them," he said and headed to his bedroom.
I drove home, anxious to finally be alone with Amber and tell her that I did have some privileges with her that night. Then, I panicked, what if she wouldn't let me kiss her.
More later.
Yes, his property...A hard thing to deal with despite what is written here sometimes. I think the natural inclination on my part is to resist that, but, in truth, emotionally and sexually it is what I wanted. Strange how your own psyche battles itself....
So, I got home and was exhausted. Amber was laying on the couch and looked equally tired. I sat next to her feet and massaged them. We both were hungry, but, too tired to go out to eat. Amber said, "I'm too tired to even take a shower and I haven't taken one since yesterday." One of us had to go out for take out, guess who? So, I brought us home, of all things, Mexican from our favorite Mexican restaurant and we ate. She did find the strength to make a pitcher of margaritas. After dinner, I took my margarita upstairs to the garden tub (since Justin wasn't there, I guessed it was OK to use the Master Bathroom) and sat in and relaxed to a hot bath. My body ached and I nearly fell asleep in the tub. Amber came in a couple of times to refill my drink, but, other than that, she seemed exhausted.
We decided to just watch a movie in bed. The guest room we now shared only had a queen bed, but, I still had a TV with cable in there. We snuggled and watched a movie. I told her that Justin had given me the OK to kiss her. "Feel free," she said, "but I feel so dirty and gross. Let me take a shower." I told her no, she was just fine. I kissed her shoulders and neck while rubbing her ass with my hand. She didn't kiss back much, but, when she did, they were open mouth, passionate ones.
At some point, the booze started to take over me and I said, "So, are you happy?" She said she was. I paused, "Amber, do you have feelings for him, do you love him?" She laughed, "No, I don't love him...I love the way he treats me. I love to submit to him. I love to fuck him and suck his ... I love how he handles me, gropes me." She was silent, "All the time with Eric, I knew he wanted me and I'd fantasize about him taking me, fucking me like...a slut, a *****. As time went on, it really started to turn me on, thinking about a guy...him...taking control of me, using me." She seemed to be getting turned on just thinking about it and my kisses on her neck and shoulders intensified. Also, I slid off her shorts and started to rub her pussy, through her panties, with my hand. She was on her side, with her back to me, and I slid off her shirt and kissed her back and down to her ass, all the while rubbing her pussy. I moved my mouth near her breasts and kissed them. My kisses were slow and long and deep. I wanted to suck her tits, badly, but this is as close as I dared come to it. I moved back to her neck and started to grind my cock into her ass, all the while rubbing her pussy with my hand. She was totally turned on and, finally, grabbed my hand and started to push it on to the right spot on her pussy, forcing it up and down. She started to moan, whispering, "Yeah, right there, right there, oh, yeah." This went on for about 3 minutes and then she tensed and came.
She rolled over and kissed me passionately, deeply. "You're the only man that I've ever known that can make me cum all the time." I must have looked puzzled, so she said, "Eric, ha, forget it, I was lucky he could get hard. The few guys I slept with before him came as soon as they started and Justin, he still doesn't have....your touch." She laughed.
She reached down and touched my caged cock through my panties. "Does that hurt?" she asked. I said, "Hell, yes, a lot." She smiled and said, "It looks like it would. He'll let you out once he's sure you'll follow his rules." I still didn't quite get the whole thing and she must have sensed it.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "For you," I said. "No," she said, "that's not true. Well, maybe partly, but....ask yourself this, you're smarter than him, more successful than him, stronger than him, as good looking as him, you can have any girl you want. You're wife is gorgeous and I see the way you charm girls when we're out. So, why do you do what he tells you, why did you want him to have sex with me?" I was silent, I wanted to choose my words carefully. "I don't know," I said, "I guess...I fantasized about you and other men and one thing led to another and..." She cut me off, "You're not being honest. It arouses you to be treated like a slave by him. You get into kissing his feet, his body, my feet, my body." I tried to deflect things, "Well, you, yeah, I mean, I love you." She laughed, "I'm not sure about that, but, I know you have feelings for me. I do love you. I'm in love with you. You didn't want a normal relationship with me. And, I'm not judging you because I sensed after that first time we were with Justin that I could live out my fantasies with him and you'd go along with it. Face it, you didn't want me here the last time you came home from seeing the Princess. Only when I left, did you come after me."
She looked me in the eyes, "You want what you think you can't have." Sheila had given me this same speech, but, Amber, somehow, knew my secrets, better. She understood, somehow, what I felt. Hell, she felt the same way. "Tell me," she said, "When he spreads his legs and grabs your head, tell me you don't feel his....power, his magnetism. It turns you on, same with me. You and I know that he's using our mouths, our bodies for his own pleasure. He could care less about reciprocating, he just wants to fuck us, dominate us, treat us like his property.....But, we crave it, get turned on by it."
"I respectfully assert my right to remain silent as guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution...." I said. She laughed, "Spoken like a true lawyer, but, you've already incriminated yourself." Then she got serious, "I have to tell you, though, that it turns me on to dominate you, to ignore you, to see you chase after me. That's the truth. I do love you, I do, more than you care about me...no, it's true, but, I like having the upper hand." She grabbed my cock, "This cage is good for you. You need it. You need all this. So do I. The only question is how long will you last, how long will this last?" I kissed her, "I'm not leaving you, I really do love you, I do. I don't know how long...I want it to be for a long time. I do...crave this...I...." She put her hands to my lips, "That's enough for tonight, now, listen, my feet are sore and need pampered..." I moved down to rub and kiss her feet.
More later.
So, I got home and was exhausted. Amber was laying on the couch and looked equally tired. I sat next to her feet and massaged them. We both were hungry, but, too tired to go out to eat. Amber said, "I'm too tired to even take a shower and I haven't taken one since yesterday." One of us had to go out for take out, guess who? So, I brought us home, of all things, Mexican from our favorite Mexican restaurant and we ate. She did find the strength to make a pitcher of margaritas. After dinner, I took my margarita upstairs to the garden tub (since Justin wasn't there, I guessed it was OK to use the Master Bathroom) and sat in and relaxed to a hot bath. My body ached and I nearly fell asleep in the tub. Amber came in a couple of times to refill my drink, but, other than that, she seemed exhausted.
We decided to just watch a movie in bed. The guest room we now shared only had a queen bed, but, I still had a TV with cable in there. We snuggled and watched a movie. I told her that Justin had given me the OK to kiss her. "Feel free," she said, "but I feel so dirty and gross. Let me take a shower." I told her no, she was just fine. I kissed her shoulders and neck while rubbing her ass with my hand. She didn't kiss back much, but, when she did, they were open mouth, passionate ones.
At some point, the booze started to take over me and I said, "So, are you happy?" She said she was. I paused, "Amber, do you have feelings for him, do you love him?" She laughed, "No, I don't love him...I love the way he treats me. I love to submit to him. I love to fuck him and suck his ... I love how he handles me, gropes me." She was silent, "All the time with Eric, I knew he wanted me and I'd fantasize about him taking me, fucking me like...a slut, a *****. As time went on, it really started to turn me on, thinking about a guy...him...taking control of me, using me." She seemed to be getting turned on just thinking about it and my kisses on her neck and shoulders intensified. Also, I slid off her shorts and started to rub her pussy, through her panties, with my hand. She was on her side, with her back to me, and I slid off her shirt and kissed her back and down to her ass, all the while rubbing her pussy. I moved my mouth near her breasts and kissed them. My kisses were slow and long and deep. I wanted to suck her tits, badly, but this is as close as I dared come to it. I moved back to her neck and started to grind my cock into her ass, all the while rubbing her pussy with my hand. She was totally turned on and, finally, grabbed my hand and started to push it on to the right spot on her pussy, forcing it up and down. She started to moan, whispering, "Yeah, right there, right there, oh, yeah." This went on for about 3 minutes and then she tensed and came.
She rolled over and kissed me passionately, deeply. "You're the only man that I've ever known that can make me cum all the time." I must have looked puzzled, so she said, "Eric, ha, forget it, I was lucky he could get hard. The few guys I slept with before him came as soon as they started and Justin, he still doesn't have....your touch." She laughed.
She reached down and touched my caged cock through my panties. "Does that hurt?" she asked. I said, "Hell, yes, a lot." She smiled and said, "It looks like it would. He'll let you out once he's sure you'll follow his rules." I still didn't quite get the whole thing and she must have sensed it.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "For you," I said. "No," she said, "that's not true. Well, maybe partly, but....ask yourself this, you're smarter than him, more successful than him, stronger than him, as good looking as him, you can have any girl you want. You're wife is gorgeous and I see the way you charm girls when we're out. So, why do you do what he tells you, why did you want him to have sex with me?" I was silent, I wanted to choose my words carefully. "I don't know," I said, "I guess...I fantasized about you and other men and one thing led to another and..." She cut me off, "You're not being honest. It arouses you to be treated like a slave by him. You get into kissing his feet, his body, my feet, my body." I tried to deflect things, "Well, you, yeah, I mean, I love you." She laughed, "I'm not sure about that, but, I know you have feelings for me. I do love you. I'm in love with you. You didn't want a normal relationship with me. And, I'm not judging you because I sensed after that first time we were with Justin that I could live out my fantasies with him and you'd go along with it. Face it, you didn't want me here the last time you came home from seeing the Princess. Only when I left, did you come after me."
She looked me in the eyes, "You want what you think you can't have." Sheila had given me this same speech, but, Amber, somehow, knew my secrets, better. She understood, somehow, what I felt. Hell, she felt the same way. "Tell me," she said, "When he spreads his legs and grabs your head, tell me you don't feel his....power, his magnetism. It turns you on, same with me. You and I know that he's using our mouths, our bodies for his own pleasure. He could care less about reciprocating, he just wants to fuck us, dominate us, treat us like his property.....But, we crave it, get turned on by it."
"I respectfully assert my right to remain silent as guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution...." I said. She laughed, "Spoken like a true lawyer, but, you've already incriminated yourself." Then she got serious, "I have to tell you, though, that it turns me on to dominate you, to ignore you, to see you chase after me. That's the truth. I do love you, I do, more than you care about me...no, it's true, but, I like having the upper hand." She grabbed my cock, "This cage is good for you. You need it. You need all this. So do I. The only question is how long will you last, how long will this last?" I kissed her, "I'm not leaving you, I really do love you, I do. I don't know how long...I want it to be for a long time. I do...crave this...I...." She put her hands to my lips, "That's enough for tonight, now, listen, my feet are sore and need pampered..." I moved down to rub and kiss her feet.
More later.
