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Psychology of a Cuckold

  • Thread starterDoc in Cleveland
  • Start date
MacNfries said:
fuzwood, I'm trying to make sense of this statement you made:

... "The husband is the guaranteed winner in this game. This theory can be substantiated with this question: While cuckolds enjoy their wives being fucked by others, how many cuckolds would enjoy their wives divorcing them for other men? From what we know, hardly any. Why? Because in that case, the cuckold would LOSE the competition. "

It seems your statement contridicts itself ... not really sure. Mind explaining that?
:confused:

Cuckolding becomes a very dangerous environment for a cuckold when the wife/GF has full control. The cuckolding may have started out as shared enjoyment, but once the wife/GF establishes full control, she's very likely to leave her cuck for another man once she determines she has more to gain being with that lover.

IMO ... I view most women as "cats" ... always looking for the best place to be. They'll be loyal to you until a better deal comes along for them, then its "idios". Cuckolding conveniently & safely enables many women to look for the "best" place to be ... the cuck is at her mercy.

=======

it's seldom if ever discussed
but many a cuckold has lost his chick
to a better man .......and was left in the dust and
aftermath of a failed marriage sometimes sans a lotta
money the two had built up over yrs of savings
only now 2 b spent on and buy a new bigger better male

the ladies will light down & abide with the bigger man

and the cuck be damned
cuck life isn't always an internet stroke-story

caution :eek:

but then again y'all knew that :(
 
Any woman who behaves in the manner described by Mac and Duke is a woman who's just plain dumb.

A cuckold's wife has the safety and security of a loving relationship combined with the absolute freedom to respond to men sexually whenever she is in the mood.

Who in her right mind would ever walk away from a paradise like that?

MP
 

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There are cuck couples that still love and make love and that works mostly. eg "Soon To Be" who posts here. However, when the wife takes over control and she and Bull treat husband neglectfully or downright badly as in bullying and humiliation, the wife must eventually lose all respect for her husband and all he becomes is a 'purse". If she can then find a way to have her lover and win the purse without the husband, then some must do so.
 
Okay, shidave, I do see your point. I have not been here for very long, but I have come across numerous posts where the cuckold's humiliation is part of the scenario and the wife has another "special" guy.

We are not like that. Probably more like "Soon to Be," whom you mention. Richard learned rather early in life that he was attracted to sluts rather than "good girls". My affairs add spice to our relationship.

I do know that I would never leave my wonderful husband for the sake of some conventional dude who would probably expect me to be monogamous and who would eventually come to despise me because I let other guys get into my panties.
 
Richard and Maria Pike said:
Any woman who behaves in the manner described by Mac and Duke is a woman who's just plain dumb.

A cuckold's wife has the safety and security of a loving relationship combined with the absolute freedom to respond to men sexually whenever she is in the mood.

Who in her right mind would ever walk away from a paradise like that?

MP

========

i guess you don't actually know women & love
and women IN love

women oft times leave the cuck with half his dough
& a house and settle down with a younger stronger
male to live happily ever after, why bother
with a man she can't feel respectful towards?
 
i guess you don't actually know women & love
and women IN love

That's my point. My affairs are based on the kind of passionate chemistry that often fades away after satisfaction, but I am IN love only with my husband. MP
 
If I sounded defensive, I apologize. I didn't intend to.

I do understand your reasoning, dear sirs. Also, I just showed these posts to my husband Richard and he admits that he shares some of your concerns. Every time I launch an affair, he fears that I will become emotionally involved, and that it will negatively impact our marriage.

I suppose that it could happen, but I am doubtful. I have never met another man who is a "natural-born cuckold," and I would be afraid to leave him because I cannot even imagine how anyone else could ever love a faithless dick sucker like me.

He is off to buy gardening supplies right now but I hope he will reply in his own words when he returns.
 
NO reason

There's no reason to be or even sound defensive since every couple's needs may be different and what works for a couple may not work for another couple. As a Bull, I do not judge Richard and Maria nor should anyone else.

In fact, all of us who read this thread can see a new viewpoint that can judged by the reader.
 
MacNfries said:
When one party in a relationship allows the other party to go and do pretty much what he/she wishes, it creates a very high risk that eventually a breach will occur in that relationship. I can't disagree with what Duke initially said ... we rarely hear from the guys (or women) who's relationships have been damaged due to careless play. But, it is their business ... their relationship ... I just try to give a realistic view of the risks vs the rewards. Done together it is safer ... done separately it increases risks.:)
wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Safer for the marriage/relationship, safer physically. And I would say that it's safer for any potential bull on an emotional level as well. If you allow your SO to spend too much unattended time with him (or he with her for those doing the cuckquean thing) he could fall for her and fall hard. I'm sure we can all imagine potential problems for all involved stemming from a situation like that.
 
i agree

i lost my GF of 3 years and the one i thought i would grow old with to a guy...and was none the wiser at the time. She had a few fuckbuddy's she would see from time to time...but i knew of all of them and would either be told of all the details, get to fuck her afterwards...or at the very least know she was catching up with them.

Then out of the blue, as we starting getting serious and talking about the future, kids etc. she told me we have to stop seeing each other as she was seeing someone else. Turns out 2 weeks after we "officially" split she had moved in with him and told me never to call her again. That was it...and thats how it ended. I knew of all the guys, except this one, he was obviously a keeper, he is a younger, fitter, richer guy...so thats what it took i guess...they say you never hear the built that kills you...and that was me with this guy.

I didn't have a leg to stand on, no way of winning her back as they had been seeing each other for 6 months. Only heard from once after that to wish me well and tell me she was pregnant to him. Even saw her at a Borders store with him, she saw me and i saw her...she literally ignored i was there and looked straight through me when we saw each other, turned around and walked away. So never say never i say.

This doesn't cover the depression from it, severe PE probs etc. but you play with fire...well, you know the rest!
 
What an intensely-sensual face, gorgeous figure, and beautiful tits...!

Hi Ms. Maria,

Richard and Maria Pike said:
.... Here are some pics of Richard and me, just so you can see that we are very normal looking. No one suspects we have a Slut Wife/Cuckold Husband relationship.

Thanks for posting the "at a party" photos (post #91 of 4 May '11) of yourself and Richard. At the risk of seeming to be carping over minor details, I'm not sure I agree you're "very normal looking." Your face, in addition to being beautiful, projects both an intellectual and strongly-sensual intensity. Both photos show unabashed willingness to sexually-embrace a man... your husband, in this case... in public.

I notice you're "upskirting" in photo 2, displaying your pantied pussy in a not-overly-blatent but male-gaze-attracting way. Nice. AND your gorgeous figure includes beautiful tits! They're pleasantly-large and sexual-looking.

If I may say so, your husband Richard is a fortunate man.

—Custer
 
Thanks for posting the "at a party" photos (post #91 of 4 May '11) of yourself and Richard. At the risk of seeming to be carping over minor details, I'm not sure I agree you're "very normal looking." Your face, in addition to being beautiful, projects both an intellectual and strongly-sensual intensity. Both photos show unabashed willingness to sexually-embrace a man... your husband, in this case... in public.

I notice you're "upskirting" in photo 2, displaying your pantied pussy in a not-overly-blatent but male-gaze-attracting way. Nice. AND your gorgeous figure includes beautiful tits! They're pleasantly-large and sexual-looking.

If I may say so, your husband Richard is a fortunate man.

—Custer

Thanks. Counting private messages received, that makes five or six remarks about my panties.

Well............ The fact is, during my entire seven-year marriage to a "good Christian man," I was having recurring dreams about exhibitionism. I would dream that I was walking thru a construction site in a short skirt on a windy day, or that I was disrobing in a lighted window, knowing I could be seen by men on the other side of the street.

With my conservative evangelical upbringing, I woke up from such dreams feeling horrible, like a sinner. Of course I could not tell my husband. I did sneak off to the library, where those popular Nancy Friday books all informed me that exhibitionism was one of the most common of all fantasies among women. Other, more academic books, verified that info. I came to see that I was normal and my family was weird!

As I have mentioned, I got divorced at 29, went to live at a condo in Hawaii which came to me thru the settlement, and started to explore my true self, far away from either parents or husband. Wearing short skirts and doing some fancy leg crossing was one of my first experiments. It led to more and more blatant expressions of my "Inner Slut."

So I'm glad you all like it. It really is kind of a part of me. MP
 
Hi Ms. Maria,

Richard and Maria Pike said:
Thanks. Counting private messages received, that makes five or six remarks about my panties.

You're welcome. There are lots of panty aficionados here, as you've discovered...

Richard and Maria Pike said:
Well............ The fact is, during my entire seven-year marriage to a "good Christian man," I was having recurring dreams about exhibitionism.

Sounds like a mighty long time, and like 7 years of sexual dreams attempting to burst through to the surface, on your part...

Richard and Maria Pike said:
I would dream that I was walking thru a construction site in a short skirt on a windy day, or that I was disrobing in a lighted window, knowing I could be seen by men on the other side of the street.

Cool... those are good dreams. My wife, who worked as an RN for a Visiting Nurses Association in a large eastern city where both of us lived for about 4 years a while back, sometimes found herself walking past groups of construction workers sitting around (e.g.) eating lunch, enroute to her patient's homes. She said she found that if she looked at them, smiled and said "hello" in a friendly way, they responded in a similarly friendly fashion, waved and said "hello" back. The psychology seems to be that if an attractive woman (my wife was attractive then and still is, ~23 years later) walks by construction workers and tries to ignore them by staring straight ahead, their "manhood" is insulted and they're likely to whistle and make crude remarks. If the attractive woman acknowledges them by looking at them, smiling and saying "hello" as my wife did, they feel validated (so to speak) as men, and respond well. My wife did not hold her blue Visiting Nurse's skirt up for them, of course, but I'm sure if a woman such as yourself had done that their responses would have been even friendlier.

Richard and Maria Pike said:
With my conservative evangelical upbringing, I woke up from such dreams feeling horrible, like a sinner.

Well, yes... I would certainly hope so! (Joke, laugh here...)

Richard and Maria Pike said:
Of course, I could not tell my husband.

Of course not!

Richard and Maria Pike said:
I did sneak off to the library, where those popular Nancy Friday books all informed me that exhibitionism was one of the most common of all fantasies among women. Other, more academic books, verified that info. I came to see that I was normal and my family was weird!

That was a good discovery...

Richard and Maria Pike said:
As I have mentioned, I got divorced at 29, went to live at a condo in Hawaii which came to me thru the settlement, and started to explore my true self, far away from either parents or husband. Wearing short skirts and doing some fancy leg crossing was one of my first experiments. It led to more and more blatant expressions of my "Inner Slut."

A condo in Hawaii, you say! What a great settlement! And, more and more blatant expressions of your "inner slut" (above and beyond some fancy leg crossing), you say...? What, if I may ask, were some of these "more and more blatant expressions...?

—Custer
 
Effect of Birth control pills

Don't know if this is the best place for this article, but I thought it is a fascinating piece on hormonal function and how it can be messed up by modern chemistry. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704681904576313243579677316.html?mod=rss_US_News
Cheers, Harry
 
A condo in Hawaii, you say! What a great settlement! And, more and more blatant expressions of your "inner slut" (above and beyond some fancy leg crossing), you say...? What, if I may ask, were some of these "more and more blatant expressions...?

Well, there was a woman several condos down, a nurse at the local hospital. Very ordinary looking, chubby, blonde, blue eyes, early to mid 40s. I never could have guessed, but she had been in the lifestyle for many years. She had noticed that my attire and general demeanor was changing from "frumpy" to "slutty." She started getting friendly, I went over to her place now and then. One night we killed a bottle of Chardonnay on girl's night out and she told me about her lifestyle. After that we went out together quite often, sometimes we would pick up men together. I had till then just been exploring my exhibitionist side, as I mentioned, but with her around to make me feel safer, I got bolder, sitting on laps, saying "yes" on the first date, and we even ended up doing some threesomes with her boyfriends.
 
Lucky boyfriends.... did they get to watch you and her play? Just wondering how much you learned from her. ;~)
 
Of course they wanted to watch us "play." I have a strong impression that most men want to see some "girl-on-girl action" if they get involved in a MFF threesome. We satisfied their fantasies, but that was just to make them happy as we were both very hetero and not interested in each other.

As for all the other stuff we did, it is a bit off topic here. Neither one of us was married at the time, thus no one to be cuckolded. If you want details you can PM me.

MP
 
Hi Ms. Maria,

Thanks for your descriptions of your sexual adventures in Hawaii. It sounds like your woman friend down the hall effectively brought out your "inner slut" by recognizing your strong sexuality was lurking there within you all along, straining your increasingly tight-fitting seams to bust out into the open.

—Custer
 
  • #100
My Thought on Cuckold Psychology - Part 1

Hello Doc, et.al,

I appreciate your efforts (and perhaps dilemma) with regards to seeking a therapeutic/ clinical (and even a layperson’s) understanding of the cuckold lifestyle (LS) by seeking practitioner’s testimony. Certainly the peer reviewed literature and the DMS (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition text revision--- DSM-IV TR) do not address this “disorder” in any meaningful way.

SOME BACKGROUND INFO - I am a heterosexual male who has been involved in the cuckold LS for over 6 years. During much of this time I have carried out unscientific research into the LS, through literature review, internet searches and first hand experience. Like others here, I have been searching for the underlying (scientific/psychological) reasons for this (apparently) rapidly growing sexual phenomenon.

My wife and I got into the cuckolding LS via couples swinging. It’s my view that many cuckold relationships start out this way, with both partners having sex with other couples. After a period of time, for one reason or another, some swingers stop swapping and the wife begins to play exclusively solo (or the couple participates in threesomes).

I believe that a great majority of swingers are driven by the female’s desire to have sex with other men. This appears logical because without the woman’s permission men/husbands would never be able to have sex with other women. Conversely, an interested man’s permission is pretty much guaranteed since many are eager to have sex with other women. I’m sure that there are exceptions, and, in fact, I have met couples where clearly the man was in charge and the woman was (reluctantly) going along with the deal.

I believe those of us who are truly involved in the cuckold lifestyle (LS) would agree that many of the representations of the LS found on the internet are exaggerated fantasy. Likewise, a significant number of posts on this and other forums are someone’s idea of how the LS should be and/or are also erotic fantasy.

It appears that the psychology profession views practiced cuckoldry as a form of “troilism”--- a “mental disorder” where there is an erotic interest in watching one’s romantic partner engage in sexual behavior with a third party, sometimes while hidden. A common example is a husband watching his wife having intercourse with another man. Thus, a cuckold gains sexual gratification out of watching his partner have sex with other people.

As everyone here knows, there are numerous twists and turns in this LS, including FemDom cuckoldry, ****** feminization (sissies), Black Bulls, connotations humiliation and implications that the husband is helpless to stop his wife’s infidelity, and too weak or cowardly to leave his wife: “today the term is making a resurgence amongst non-monogamous couples with a dominant female allowed to take on additional partners, and submissive male who is not”. A cuckold fetishist that is aware of his spouse's sexual activity and tolerates these activities may also be called a “wittol”. In the fetish cuckolding subculture, the “victimization” of the cuckold is a major element, be this fantasy or not. The female (hot wife) is typically sexually dominant, while the man takes on a submissive role, only becoming involved with her or her lover when she permits it—sometimes remaining altogether celibate (and perhaps locked in chastity).

A similar sexual practice is Candaulism, which consists of the masochistic and/or sadistic pleasure in which the husband exposes his wife, or pictures of her, to other voyeuristic people. Sometimes this behavior is taken to the extreme point of allowing sexual relations. By definition cuckoldry is distinctly different in that it involves a control difference between the partner that is having outside sex and the partner who is not.

CUCKOLDRY AS A FORM OF PARAPHILIA - First, at the risk of losing my audience, I think it’s important to briefly summarize how the “doctors” formally view cuckoldry. In a sentence, cuckoldry is viewed as a form of paraphilia. “Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme”.

Paraphilial psychopathology is not “normal” diverse adult human sexual behaviors, such as sexual fantasy and/or sex play. Consensual adult activities that may involve some aspects of sexual role play, novel, superficial, or trivial aspects of sexual fetishism, or may incorporate the use of sex toys are not necessarily paraphilic. (It’s interesting to note that homosexuality was at one time categorized as a form of paraphilia). Paraphilial psychopathology includes the following behaviors often associated with cuckoldry:

Troilism (cuckolding) - watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge.
Voyeurism - Watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia.
Autogynephilia - A biological male imagining himself as a female.
Gynandromorphophilia - Women with penises or men cross-dressed as women (perhaps wearing panties and other lingerie)..
Masochism (BDSM) – Suffering, being abused, bound or otherwise humiliated.
Transvestic Fetishism - Having a sexual or erotic interest in cross-dressing--- wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex; also known as transvestism.

And then, of course there’s the desire for “erotic humiliation”, the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated (it can be verbal or physical), often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity: “Humiliation in general stimulates the same brain regions that are associated with physical pain”.

CuckoldMick (more)
 
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