Thanks, I'm hoping it doesn't happen either.Thinfella said:Hi
I've recently joined and read most of your thread, trying to ignore the comments from others and just reading your story so far.
Firstly I have to say, you really are in a dream position! You have a woman who obviously loves sex! She loves sex with other men! She is quite comfortable with asking you or at least knowing if and appreciating your efforts for stopping the masturbating and of sex with with her. It gets better....she has friends, mutual friends who confide in you and keep both you and her on the right track with this drastic change of lifestyle. And even better, they're introducing her to men who want her for sex! And even better, they're providing her access to largely endowed black men!! Wow she and you have it made! It's a fairytale story for any cuckold minded male!
If it's all true I'm a very envious man! I will follow this thread with great interest, and I do hope she doesn't get pregnant by a black guy, or it will all seem too much.
I have a feeling I know where it will go next though and I will keep reading.
You're a lucky guy!
Thanks
Thinfella
Sue's new life
- Thread starterbobbyjones86mm
- Start date
Monday night went down just like Jill said it would. Sue was sitting Indian style when I got out of the shower. She had on her reading glasses and looked so cute and business like. She patted for me to sit in front of her. I had on my boxers and sat down. She took off her classes and sat the papers down. I could tell she was all business.
“I love you. I want you to know that through all this that has never changed.” I know and I love you.
“I know we have talked about this, but things have come up and I think now is the time. Nothing is on for sure but it could happen this weekend.” What is that.
“Jill has set me up with Kobe.” Bryant? Oh my goodness.
“No Im being serious. But he is black.” I told you that is fine.
“I know you have said it, but we are kinda at the point that talking has passed. Do you know what I'm saying.” I think you are saying that you are going to have sex with Kobe. I want you to know I want that. (I knda went in to a huge spill after that.)
I want you to be with him. I want you to go out with him. I want you to go home with him. I want you to strip for him. I want you to lay on the bed and spread your legs for him. I want you to suck him. I want you fuck him. I want you to make love to him. I want you to offer yourself to him. I want you to give every ounce of your self to him. I don't want you to hold anything back. I want you to give yourself to him totally. I want him to know he has all of you. I want him to know that he can have your body as long as you want. I want him to take you whenever he wants. Any day anytime and any place. I don't want you to hold anything back. Anything he wants that you want should be his. I want him to know that your pussy is his whenever he wants it. Completely open to him however you want.
She took my hand and was shaking.
“I want this really bad. I'm just scared to let go like that.” Well now you know how I feel. I don't want anything to be off limits because of me. It is up to you.
“With anyone or just him.” Anyone.
“So even Mike” Yes
“So even my Rep friend.” Yes
“What about my lawyer friend at the firm.” Yes especially him. We both laughed.
“So you really mean that.” Yes and especially with Kobe. I can tell you really want to try this with him. I want you to feel comfortable.
“Ok” I could tell that she was just not there. I laid it out knowing what it was. She had made a comment to Jill before. So I dropped it. I want you to let him do you. I want you to let him cum in your If you get pregnant I would love you even more. Know that you gave him everything and did what you really wanted. It would be tough at first, but I would learn to love the baby. I would raise our baby just like it was mine no matter who or what color it was. I'm telling you that because I know that worries you. I'm committed to you and any child you have.
Now before we go any further you need to know the context of all this was not her getting pregnant. It was to assure her. She is aware of this. We are adults and the conversation may not show that, but it was about acceptance and love. I know I'm not a writer and it is hard to remember all the little words. Especially when your head is swimming.
“Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that.” I love you and anytime you want to talk I'm here. I want to encourage you and make you feel comfortable.
So then Tuesday I talked to Jill and she said Sue was really pumped and had talked to Kobe and confirmed everything. They talked on the phone that evening for an hour. Jill gave me two thumbs up on handling it. She said Sue was really confident and she was pretty sure it would happen Friday.
Then next morning I knew I wouldn't see her that night since she was going out for drinks with the girls. I left her a card on her pillow. I wrote in there that I loved her and wanted her to have a good time with Kobe.
Thursday was the day from hell. I had a call that I had to go back to the doctor. Sometimes I think they just want to run test to run them. My blood pressure was high and they mentioned having to take medicine for it. The only good thing was my age and that I exercise regularly. So they drew blood and gave me a shot to help lower my blood pressure which was a little higher this time. My dad died of heart problems and it always scares me.
So I left and went to Victoria secrets and hit it when it opened. This cute little girl helped me pick out a set for Sue. She had no idea that it was for my wife who was going to have sex with a black guy. I bet that would have freaked her out. It was a hot black set. I had them wrap it and put a note on it at the house. “Just to show you that I want this and all that I said for you.. I love you so much”
She came in and found it. She then came out and jumped on me. I got a huge kiss and she said she was so happy. I told her I loved her and wanted her to let loose and have fun. She gave me another kiss and said she would. She wanted to go call Brandy. I got text messages from Jill and Brandy that I did good.
That night I told her to let go and enjoy her weekend. I wanted her to be satisfied when she left.
That night she talked to Kobe for like three hours via text messages while we watched tv. I tried to catch a glimpse. I though about having all her text downloaded through the phone company, but I dont want it to seem like I don't trust her.
Friday I was all pumped till I got a call that I had to go in and see the doctor monday. Not looking forward to that. My mind was split between that and Sue.
I hardly slept Friday night. Saturday Jill sent me a message that said “You wife is a nigger lover” Sorry, but that was how she put it. Obviously she is not racist. I asked for detail and she texted later.
Around noon Saturday, Jill called.
“They just left going to his place. That girl is falling hard for Kobe. He has a nice dick and she loves it. I heard her and caught a peek through the bathroom. She was on her back letting him pound her hard. I couldn't believe she could take it all like that. He is really thick too. They were going back to his place for the night.” What did she say this morning?
“Thank you and that she really likes Kobe. He took it slow with her and made her feel comfortable. She said the taboo is almost to much for her.” So I guess I did good.
“Yes you did. Kobe told me that she was amazing in bed and really tight. I guess you helped with that. Sorry that sounded bad.”Its ok. I know you arent being mean.
“Well I can tell you they will be seeing a lot more of each other. I know I was hooked for a while. I will let you know more when I talk to her again. Just be sweet to her when she comes home.” I will.
Saturday evening I got a text from Sue saying she would be home late Sunday. I told her to have fun and I loved her so much. Even more now. She just typed ditto.
Sue got in around seven and got a shower. She asked if we could talk tomorrow. She was give out. I said of course and let her sleep. I was going to wait on this, but I couldn't sleep thinking about tomorrow.
I still need Christmas gift ideas too.
“I love you. I want you to know that through all this that has never changed.” I know and I love you.
“I know we have talked about this, but things have come up and I think now is the time. Nothing is on for sure but it could happen this weekend.” What is that.
“Jill has set me up with Kobe.” Bryant? Oh my goodness.
“No Im being serious. But he is black.” I told you that is fine.
“I know you have said it, but we are kinda at the point that talking has passed. Do you know what I'm saying.” I think you are saying that you are going to have sex with Kobe. I want you to know I want that. (I knda went in to a huge spill after that.)
I want you to be with him. I want you to go out with him. I want you to go home with him. I want you to strip for him. I want you to lay on the bed and spread your legs for him. I want you to suck him. I want you fuck him. I want you to make love to him. I want you to offer yourself to him. I want you to give every ounce of your self to him. I don't want you to hold anything back. I want you to give yourself to him totally. I want him to know he has all of you. I want him to know that he can have your body as long as you want. I want him to take you whenever he wants. Any day anytime and any place. I don't want you to hold anything back. Anything he wants that you want should be his. I want him to know that your pussy is his whenever he wants it. Completely open to him however you want.
She took my hand and was shaking.
“I want this really bad. I'm just scared to let go like that.” Well now you know how I feel. I don't want anything to be off limits because of me. It is up to you.
“With anyone or just him.” Anyone.
“So even Mike” Yes
“So even my Rep friend.” Yes
“What about my lawyer friend at the firm.” Yes especially him. We both laughed.
“So you really mean that.” Yes and especially with Kobe. I can tell you really want to try this with him. I want you to feel comfortable.
“Ok” I could tell that she was just not there. I laid it out knowing what it was. She had made a comment to Jill before. So I dropped it. I want you to let him do you. I want you to let him cum in your If you get pregnant I would love you even more. Know that you gave him everything and did what you really wanted. It would be tough at first, but I would learn to love the baby. I would raise our baby just like it was mine no matter who or what color it was. I'm telling you that because I know that worries you. I'm committed to you and any child you have.
Now before we go any further you need to know the context of all this was not her getting pregnant. It was to assure her. She is aware of this. We are adults and the conversation may not show that, but it was about acceptance and love. I know I'm not a writer and it is hard to remember all the little words. Especially when your head is swimming.
“Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that.” I love you and anytime you want to talk I'm here. I want to encourage you and make you feel comfortable.
So then Tuesday I talked to Jill and she said Sue was really pumped and had talked to Kobe and confirmed everything. They talked on the phone that evening for an hour. Jill gave me two thumbs up on handling it. She said Sue was really confident and she was pretty sure it would happen Friday.
Then next morning I knew I wouldn't see her that night since she was going out for drinks with the girls. I left her a card on her pillow. I wrote in there that I loved her and wanted her to have a good time with Kobe.
Thursday was the day from hell. I had a call that I had to go back to the doctor. Sometimes I think they just want to run test to run them. My blood pressure was high and they mentioned having to take medicine for it. The only good thing was my age and that I exercise regularly. So they drew blood and gave me a shot to help lower my blood pressure which was a little higher this time. My dad died of heart problems and it always scares me.
So I left and went to Victoria secrets and hit it when it opened. This cute little girl helped me pick out a set for Sue. She had no idea that it was for my wife who was going to have sex with a black guy. I bet that would have freaked her out. It was a hot black set. I had them wrap it and put a note on it at the house. “Just to show you that I want this and all that I said for you.. I love you so much”
She came in and found it. She then came out and jumped on me. I got a huge kiss and she said she was so happy. I told her I loved her and wanted her to let loose and have fun. She gave me another kiss and said she would. She wanted to go call Brandy. I got text messages from Jill and Brandy that I did good.
That night I told her to let go and enjoy her weekend. I wanted her to be satisfied when she left.
That night she talked to Kobe for like three hours via text messages while we watched tv. I tried to catch a glimpse. I though about having all her text downloaded through the phone company, but I dont want it to seem like I don't trust her.
Friday I was all pumped till I got a call that I had to go in and see the doctor monday. Not looking forward to that. My mind was split between that and Sue.
I hardly slept Friday night. Saturday Jill sent me a message that said “You wife is a nigger lover” Sorry, but that was how she put it. Obviously she is not racist. I asked for detail and she texted later.
Around noon Saturday, Jill called.
“They just left going to his place. That girl is falling hard for Kobe. He has a nice dick and she loves it. I heard her and caught a peek through the bathroom. She was on her back letting him pound her hard. I couldn't believe she could take it all like that. He is really thick too. They were going back to his place for the night.” What did she say this morning?
“Thank you and that she really likes Kobe. He took it slow with her and made her feel comfortable. She said the taboo is almost to much for her.” So I guess I did good.
“Yes you did. Kobe told me that she was amazing in bed and really tight. I guess you helped with that. Sorry that sounded bad.”Its ok. I know you arent being mean.
“Well I can tell you they will be seeing a lot more of each other. I know I was hooked for a while. I will let you know more when I talk to her again. Just be sweet to her when she comes home.” I will.
Saturday evening I got a text from Sue saying she would be home late Sunday. I told her to have fun and I loved her so much. Even more now. She just typed ditto.
Sue got in around seven and got a shower. She asked if we could talk tomorrow. She was give out. I said of course and let her sleep. I was going to wait on this, but I couldn't sleep thinking about tomorrow.
I still need Christmas gift ideas too.
Ok, get her a ankle bracelet with cuckold symbols on them, saw somebody had a link here to the site. This was the old way a woman would be recognized, I still think they make a woman's feet look very good with heels or sandals on.
My wife got her nipples pierced after her friend did, She did have some down time but, it is great fun and she can change her piercings depending on what she is doing or the time of year. I love it.
My wife got her nipples pierced after her friend did, She did have some down time but, it is great fun and she can change her piercings depending on what she is doing or the time of year. I love it.
Thanks to all of you who emailed me concerning my health and the nice words. You asked for updates on that so I will work it in to what went on this week. Monday morning was pure hell. Back to the doctor where they took more blood. Then I sat in her office before she came in and finished the exam. I got some really bad news. Well really bad possible news. I talked with Jill about it and she wants me to get a second opinion. Basically without going into to much detail I was told my blood work showed that I probably had cancer. They set me up for a blood specialist and oncologist for Tuesday morning. I talked with Jill about it and felt a little better. She got me laughing and it was a little better. Well as good as it could be having been told you probably have cancer.
I didn't want to tell Sue so I didn't tell her about the appointment the next day. Tuesday I spent the morning getting a body scan and then seeing an oncologist. The oncologist said they were pretty sure from the test that I had prostate cancer that had spread to my liver. They wanted to confirm some things today. They saw two spots on my liver and two really big spots on my prostate. That was were the pain was coming from. It was also the first time they told me my testosterone levels were very high. The good news was that my blood didn't show a certain chemical that should be there with cancer. The doctor said it was good, but not a sure sign of anything.
I went to hematologist and she had my blood work over the last couple of weeks. She told me that my testosterone levels were high and asked if I had ever been told this. I hadn't. She said it was probably what led to the prostate cancer or a symptom of it. I said so I have cancer. She said they didn't know yet. They were going to set me up to get a biopsy Thursday morning. She told me that if it wasn't cancer, they would still need to find out the cause and treat the hormone imbalance.
I talked to Jill on the way to work. She asked me to call the doctor and give them permission to have my records sent over to the clinic she works at. She said some of the things they told me didn't make since. I called and they did. She called me before I went home and had me an appointment with a specialist her their clinic. She said to be their early that the doctor wanted to examine me and then go over the blood work. She said the doctor was the best in her area and big in her field.
The whole week I kept up a good face for Sue. I didn't tell her and couldn't till I knew something for sure. Tuesday night she was bubbling and asked me if I was cool with her staying the night out Wednesday. I said sure. She picked up on something being wrong and I told her it was just work. Wednesday I was worried and just did some work to keep my mind off things that night. Jill came over and sat with me for a while. She told me I had to tell Sue. I told her I would when I knew something for sure. She did give me an update.
“So Sue had a good time last weekend. She told me she could see herself really letting loose with Kobe. I got him taking her out to art show I had some free tickets too. She was so nervous about being seen in public with him. They won't see anyone they know probably, but it will get people looking at them.” Is that a turn on for you?
“Yes and I bet it will be for her too. You get a ton of people looking and staring. Is it hot for you knowing she is out in public with her black boyfriend.” Ya I guess a little. I honestly haven't thought about it this week.
“Well once this is all over, I think you will find it really hot. Also you have to tell Sue before this weekend. If you don't she is going to be mad.” I will.
Thursday I broke down and told Sue. She was pissed and mainly because she went the night before when I was going through this. I agreed not to hold anything else like this back. The biopsy's went well and the doctor at Sue's clinic said it was a good sign from what she saw. She did a full check of me before they did the test. She was more worried about the liver spots than anything.
The good news came Friday. Jill called and said the early test were all positive, but the full report wouldn't be in till Monday. She couldn't let us go that long without knowing.
Sue and I did nothing last weekend but watch movies and love on each other. She is supper sweat and a good care giver. I go tomorrow morning and Sue is going with me. Hoping for a good report.
Sorry it isn't more of what everyone wants, but sometimes life gives us lemons. Lot of lemonaid last week. Thanks again for all the kind emails and notes.
I didn't want to tell Sue so I didn't tell her about the appointment the next day. Tuesday I spent the morning getting a body scan and then seeing an oncologist. The oncologist said they were pretty sure from the test that I had prostate cancer that had spread to my liver. They wanted to confirm some things today. They saw two spots on my liver and two really big spots on my prostate. That was were the pain was coming from. It was also the first time they told me my testosterone levels were very high. The good news was that my blood didn't show a certain chemical that should be there with cancer. The doctor said it was good, but not a sure sign of anything.
I went to hematologist and she had my blood work over the last couple of weeks. She told me that my testosterone levels were high and asked if I had ever been told this. I hadn't. She said it was probably what led to the prostate cancer or a symptom of it. I said so I have cancer. She said they didn't know yet. They were going to set me up to get a biopsy Thursday morning. She told me that if it wasn't cancer, they would still need to find out the cause and treat the hormone imbalance.
I talked to Jill on the way to work. She asked me to call the doctor and give them permission to have my records sent over to the clinic she works at. She said some of the things they told me didn't make since. I called and they did. She called me before I went home and had me an appointment with a specialist her their clinic. She said to be their early that the doctor wanted to examine me and then go over the blood work. She said the doctor was the best in her area and big in her field.
The whole week I kept up a good face for Sue. I didn't tell her and couldn't till I knew something for sure. Tuesday night she was bubbling and asked me if I was cool with her staying the night out Wednesday. I said sure. She picked up on something being wrong and I told her it was just work. Wednesday I was worried and just did some work to keep my mind off things that night. Jill came over and sat with me for a while. She told me I had to tell Sue. I told her I would when I knew something for sure. She did give me an update.
“So Sue had a good time last weekend. She told me she could see herself really letting loose with Kobe. I got him taking her out to art show I had some free tickets too. She was so nervous about being seen in public with him. They won't see anyone they know probably, but it will get people looking at them.” Is that a turn on for you?
“Yes and I bet it will be for her too. You get a ton of people looking and staring. Is it hot for you knowing she is out in public with her black boyfriend.” Ya I guess a little. I honestly haven't thought about it this week.
“Well once this is all over, I think you will find it really hot. Also you have to tell Sue before this weekend. If you don't she is going to be mad.” I will.
Thursday I broke down and told Sue. She was pissed and mainly because she went the night before when I was going through this. I agreed not to hold anything else like this back. The biopsy's went well and the doctor at Sue's clinic said it was a good sign from what she saw. She did a full check of me before they did the test. She was more worried about the liver spots than anything.
The good news came Friday. Jill called and said the early test were all positive, but the full report wouldn't be in till Monday. She couldn't let us go that long without knowing.
Sue and I did nothing last weekend but watch movies and love on each other. She is supper sweat and a good care giver. I go tomorrow morning and Sue is going with me. Hoping for a good report.
Sorry it isn't more of what everyone wants, but sometimes life gives us lemons. Lot of lemonaid last week. Thanks again for all the kind emails and notes.
Sorry to hear life is throwing some 'lemons' at you. Hope all is well and you're on the mend soon. I know naff all about it, but could not masturbating cause high testosterone level?????
Anyway, it's good to see your good lady by your side though this, and I hope you both get closer because of it.
As for someone saying "how long can this fantasy story go on?" well, come on! It's only a fantasy story before it's happening. Once it's happening, as it clearly is, it's simply 'life'. And we all know how many ups and downs that entails.
Power to you both and fingers crossed things go well in both things very soon.
Cheers
Anyway, it's good to see your good lady by your side though this, and I hope you both get closer because of it.
As for someone saying "how long can this fantasy story go on?" well, come on! It's only a fantasy story before it's happening. Once it's happening, as it clearly is, it's simply 'life'. And we all know how many ups and downs that entails.
Power to you both and fingers crossed things go well in both things very soon.
Cheers
Cancer?
I hate to hear this coming from a guy apparently still in your young productive years.
I have gone through a lot of this with cancer at a much older age. Actually, they are still concerned about my current high PSA. 1 year ‘post treatment’. When you are looking for cancer “positive” is NOT “good News”
Prostate cancer usually does not metastases to the liver, but to the bones. You should have a bone scan as well. You haven’t given us any ‘numbers’ what is your PSA reading? (Should be <2.5) What is your Testosterone? (Range is 300-1000)
I hope by now you have all the tests back and have set down (You and Sue with the Dr.(s) To get a real diagnosis.
Once you set out on a course of treatment, you need to sit down with Sue and discuss the real underlying cause here.
If you were to talk to a good psychologist, you would find that “sexual frustration” is a main cause of prostate cancer in men. I would venture that many of the cuckolds writing on this site have been treated for Prostate cancer and are in some way unable to perform sexually.
I have read your posts from the beginning, and it has been your intentions all along that Sue find other lovers. “TO MAKE HER HAPPY” That does nothing for your own ‘self esteem’. Isn’t a marriage for the happiness of BOTH husband and wife??
Furthermore you have emphasized that Sue is a “good Catholic” therefore she will not use birth control [or] condoms” I say to you, that ”if Sue were a “good Catholic” She would not be going to bars without her husband, She would not be going to party’s dressing to attract men with out her wedding ring. And she would not be ‘cheating’ on her husband. Either now or in the past.
This should be a real “wake up call for you both. In the past, when you have had “break-up’s” Sue has gone to other men for consoleing and sex. Now you have encouraged her to regularly take lovers outside your marriage, because you feel inadequate, and she agrees. By your own words, Sue was willing to work with you, but you practically insisted that she ‘go out’ on you and fuck other men. I believe the turmoil you caused in your marriage AND IN YOUR BODY has created a great potential for cancer. The body listens to the thoughts of the mind and creates what the mind has desired. I know you didn’t desire cancer. But you did relegate your prostate ‘useless’ by denying it normal function, even though Sue said she did not want to ‘cut you off’.
If the biopsy comes through Positive, and the other tests are verified, you will be looking at three forms of treatment: Prostectomy (removal) Radiation therapy (which I had) or Radiation seed therapy. All these are potentially devastating to your virility. If they decide your Testosterone is too high and therefore ‘feeding’ the cancer, they will put you on injections of ‘Hormone blocker’ LUPRON that will tell your body that it don’t need testosterone. If you are on that, you will not be able to get an erection and you WON’T EVEN CARE that you can’t.
If you and Sue would like to have your own children, you better have her quit “messing around” and get pregnant at home NOW!!!
I hope the best for you. There should be a success story on here once in a while.
Cheers, Harry
I hate to hear this coming from a guy apparently still in your young productive years.
I have gone through a lot of this with cancer at a much older age. Actually, they are still concerned about my current high PSA. 1 year ‘post treatment’. When you are looking for cancer “positive” is NOT “good News”
Prostate cancer usually does not metastases to the liver, but to the bones. You should have a bone scan as well. You haven’t given us any ‘numbers’ what is your PSA reading? (Should be <2.5) What is your Testosterone? (Range is 300-1000)
I hope by now you have all the tests back and have set down (You and Sue with the Dr.(s) To get a real diagnosis.
Once you set out on a course of treatment, you need to sit down with Sue and discuss the real underlying cause here.
If you were to talk to a good psychologist, you would find that “sexual frustration” is a main cause of prostate cancer in men. I would venture that many of the cuckolds writing on this site have been treated for Prostate cancer and are in some way unable to perform sexually.
I have read your posts from the beginning, and it has been your intentions all along that Sue find other lovers. “TO MAKE HER HAPPY” That does nothing for your own ‘self esteem’. Isn’t a marriage for the happiness of BOTH husband and wife??
Furthermore you have emphasized that Sue is a “good Catholic” therefore she will not use birth control [or] condoms” I say to you, that ”if Sue were a “good Catholic” She would not be going to bars without her husband, She would not be going to party’s dressing to attract men with out her wedding ring. And she would not be ‘cheating’ on her husband. Either now or in the past.
This should be a real “wake up call for you both. In the past, when you have had “break-up’s” Sue has gone to other men for consoleing and sex. Now you have encouraged her to regularly take lovers outside your marriage, because you feel inadequate, and she agrees. By your own words, Sue was willing to work with you, but you practically insisted that she ‘go out’ on you and fuck other men. I believe the turmoil you caused in your marriage AND IN YOUR BODY has created a great potential for cancer. The body listens to the thoughts of the mind and creates what the mind has desired. I know you didn’t desire cancer. But you did relegate your prostate ‘useless’ by denying it normal function, even though Sue said she did not want to ‘cut you off’.
If the biopsy comes through Positive, and the other tests are verified, you will be looking at three forms of treatment: Prostectomy (removal) Radiation therapy (which I had) or Radiation seed therapy. All these are potentially devastating to your virility. If they decide your Testosterone is too high and therefore ‘feeding’ the cancer, they will put you on injections of ‘Hormone blocker’ LUPRON that will tell your body that it don’t need testosterone. If you are on that, you will not be able to get an erection and you WON’T EVEN CARE that you can’t.
If you and Sue would like to have your own children, you better have her quit “messing around” and get pregnant at home NOW!!!
I hope the best for you. There should be a success story on here once in a while.
Cheers, Harry
First I want to say thanks for all the emails and nice messages I got. I promised an update and here it is. Monday was one of the weirdest trips to the doctor ever. But it went really well for the most part.
Sue and I got to the clinic around 8. We went in to the doctors office first and she came in and was very straight forward. NO CANCER!!!!
I was on cloud nine and don't remember half of the things she told me. Sue actually told me some of the things on the way home that I over looked. So excuse me if I leave something out.
It turns out the lumps on my prostate were a form of cyst. There turned out to be three in all. They drained them before we left and sent me home. More on that in a minute. The liver spots were similar and caused by the high levels of testosterone. My levels were 200 something over the high level for my age group.
My PSA level was high as well at five. For my age that is high.
Dr. S was concerned that the levels were so high with me being so young. She believes that my testicles are in overdrive and won't shut off. There are a number of causes possible. She explained all of them. The first we are going to eliminate is the possible foods. I'm off meat since last week and they are taking my blood wednesday, AGAIN.
I'm also avoiding stress. By doing this they can see if that might be influencing it. I also have to get some supplements that can help lower my levels.
IF, this didn't work it would mean it is a physical problem. The treatments ranged from a supplements, drugs and the last would be castration. Yes you read that right. No this is not a fantasy. I love my balls and always have. Actually it would be a form of chemical castration where they would replace some hormones or something. I was lost during most of it.
Please understand that none of this was sexual for me or Sue. It was a doctors visit through and through. Some of you might find some of this a turn on but when it is you, it isnt. I promise.
We had questions for the doctor at this point on if we could have children. We were assured that they could freeze my sperm if that was something we wanted to do before any hormone drugs were used.
Sue asked if I would be able to have sex. Yes if the diet and supplements worked. The odds went down if drugs to lower testosterone were used at least at first till they could get the level right. Over time it would get harder.
Dr. S also explained that two of the cyst had cut off the blood to the lower part of my prostate. That was where the pain came from. Some of the area had atrophied. She was also worried about nerve damage. She told us that she believes the levels have been high most of my life, but were masked by puberty. She said she believed the main cyst had been there as well. She explained it was due to the size of my penis. I know know I'm 2 inches soft. Pulled to its max was four. They had to take measurements to check for future changes.
Dr. S also asked about our sex life. I shyly looked at Sue. She was taking all this like a trooper. It did surprise me that she answered everything and did it very bluntly. She explained on the way home that it was different knowing that she had to tell everything to help me.
“How often do you have sex.” Actually we haven't had sex for a couple of months.
“Is it because of his condition.” No it is just not a part of our marriage really anymore.
“That isn't unusual for married couples. I want you to be honest so don't hold anythng back that you think might be needed.” I do have one question He hasn't masturbated during that time but a couple of times. Could that have caused any of this. I know blue ball is bad, but???
She laughed and said, “No, actually not having sex helps us to read the levels a little clearer. If he had been active, then it can cause levels to rise. As far as back up goes, the body releases semen in the urine so not a problem.”
“I'm a little surprised your not wanting sex more. If you are, its ok. The testosterone being high will do that.” I answered it was about the same.
After that we went to one of the rooms with a table. They had me get in a robe. Sue was in there with me. The nurse came put my feet in syrups. I made a comment about being ******* and Sue said now you know how we feel. The doctor came in and called sue over. She gave her some gloves and showed her the knots. Sue said she had never noticed them. It may have been because they weren't as big till recently.
Sue then backed up to hold my hand. They stuck me five or six times. There was a lot of fluid. More than I thought there would be. I was in a little pain, but they couldn't deaden it because she wanted to check the nerves. When she finished she pushed on different parts of the prostate. The weird thing was that it was numb under my scrotum and then along the bottom of my penis.
Dr. S told us not to worry, that the pressure could have been the culprit and we would know in a couple of days. I was told to put some peas (frozen) on the area when I got home. I took a bag of ice for the way home. We barely talked on the way home. We went by the pharmacy and then went and got in the bed. I laid in there till two when she came in.
Then a conversation I will never forget. She started it out.
“I'm glad you don't have cancer, but I'm worried about some of the other stuff she told us today. What if the diet doesn't work. What if the cyst come back. I'm worried about you getting prostate cancer too. You heard what she said.” I know I'm worried to, but im not going to be castrated.
“Yes you will.” What?
“If the choice is castration, God forbid, or you getting cancer it will be castration.” She broke into tears and was almost hysterical. I didn't know that all this had been that tough on her. She finally calmed down enough to talk.
“I love you more than anything and I'm not going to lose you because you think you are to manly do take a drug like that. I don't care if we ever have sex again. Or even with other guys for me. I would rather have you. That is the bottom line. You are more important” I'm sorry. I know this is tough on you. That is a long way down the road. There is a lot of medicine before we ever have to get to that part.
“I know I just know you too.” We laughed. I know and I will do everything possible to make sure I don't get cancer or hurt myself in this.
“Well sex is out for now. Till they get a solution. I'm sorry and if you want me to stop what Im doing I will.” No never. I want you to be happy.
“I want that for you too.” Then the only way to make me happy is for you to be happy. So please don't stop. I also want you to know that if I can't ever get hard again that I want you to keep doing this. You shouldn't have to stop having sex since if I can't.
“I don't want to stop, but I feel bad since you are having problems. Well just know that I would stop if you wanted.” What you don't get is that I will never want that. I want this to be your life if you want it.
“So you think at 50 I will be going out to bars to meet guys?” No honestly I figured you would probably have a boyfriend or two that you went to when you wanted sex.
“Oh crap, you are serious. I thought this was something you would get tired of.” No it isnt like my dick is going to grow to the size that satisfies you. So what else could we do then.
“Ok, so when you said you would be ok with us never having sex again if that is what I wanted right.” Yes
“So then only my boyfriend or lovers would take me like that.” Yes
“So then it will be their babies that we will raise together and not yours. I guess there is no reason to get your sperm frozen.” She had this smart look on her face. I just looked at her and said it would be cheaper.
We both busted out laughing.
“I want your babies.” I want that too, but I bet it is a turn on for you to think of having another mans baby. Doesn't it.
“Yes maybe, but I would want us to have at least one together..” I was a little shocked and asked if she was serious.
She just gave me a little smile.
I know she was just playing with me. It was clear. I just wanted to share that she is opening up some.
I will post the rest when I get some time. Tired and ready for bed now.
Sue and I got to the clinic around 8. We went in to the doctors office first and she came in and was very straight forward. NO CANCER!!!!
I was on cloud nine and don't remember half of the things she told me. Sue actually told me some of the things on the way home that I over looked. So excuse me if I leave something out.
It turns out the lumps on my prostate were a form of cyst. There turned out to be three in all. They drained them before we left and sent me home. More on that in a minute. The liver spots were similar and caused by the high levels of testosterone. My levels were 200 something over the high level for my age group.
My PSA level was high as well at five. For my age that is high.
Dr. S was concerned that the levels were so high with me being so young. She believes that my testicles are in overdrive and won't shut off. There are a number of causes possible. She explained all of them. The first we are going to eliminate is the possible foods. I'm off meat since last week and they are taking my blood wednesday, AGAIN.
I'm also avoiding stress. By doing this they can see if that might be influencing it. I also have to get some supplements that can help lower my levels.
IF, this didn't work it would mean it is a physical problem. The treatments ranged from a supplements, drugs and the last would be castration. Yes you read that right. No this is not a fantasy. I love my balls and always have. Actually it would be a form of chemical castration where they would replace some hormones or something. I was lost during most of it.
Please understand that none of this was sexual for me or Sue. It was a doctors visit through and through. Some of you might find some of this a turn on but when it is you, it isnt. I promise.
We had questions for the doctor at this point on if we could have children. We were assured that they could freeze my sperm if that was something we wanted to do before any hormone drugs were used.
Sue asked if I would be able to have sex. Yes if the diet and supplements worked. The odds went down if drugs to lower testosterone were used at least at first till they could get the level right. Over time it would get harder.
Dr. S also explained that two of the cyst had cut off the blood to the lower part of my prostate. That was where the pain came from. Some of the area had atrophied. She was also worried about nerve damage. She told us that she believes the levels have been high most of my life, but were masked by puberty. She said she believed the main cyst had been there as well. She explained it was due to the size of my penis. I know know I'm 2 inches soft. Pulled to its max was four. They had to take measurements to check for future changes.
Dr. S also asked about our sex life. I shyly looked at Sue. She was taking all this like a trooper. It did surprise me that she answered everything and did it very bluntly. She explained on the way home that it was different knowing that she had to tell everything to help me.
“How often do you have sex.” Actually we haven't had sex for a couple of months.
“Is it because of his condition.” No it is just not a part of our marriage really anymore.
“That isn't unusual for married couples. I want you to be honest so don't hold anythng back that you think might be needed.” I do have one question He hasn't masturbated during that time but a couple of times. Could that have caused any of this. I know blue ball is bad, but???
She laughed and said, “No, actually not having sex helps us to read the levels a little clearer. If he had been active, then it can cause levels to rise. As far as back up goes, the body releases semen in the urine so not a problem.”
“I'm a little surprised your not wanting sex more. If you are, its ok. The testosterone being high will do that.” I answered it was about the same.
After that we went to one of the rooms with a table. They had me get in a robe. Sue was in there with me. The nurse came put my feet in syrups. I made a comment about being ******* and Sue said now you know how we feel. The doctor came in and called sue over. She gave her some gloves and showed her the knots. Sue said she had never noticed them. It may have been because they weren't as big till recently.
Sue then backed up to hold my hand. They stuck me five or six times. There was a lot of fluid. More than I thought there would be. I was in a little pain, but they couldn't deaden it because she wanted to check the nerves. When she finished she pushed on different parts of the prostate. The weird thing was that it was numb under my scrotum and then along the bottom of my penis.
Dr. S told us not to worry, that the pressure could have been the culprit and we would know in a couple of days. I was told to put some peas (frozen) on the area when I got home. I took a bag of ice for the way home. We barely talked on the way home. We went by the pharmacy and then went and got in the bed. I laid in there till two when she came in.
Then a conversation I will never forget. She started it out.
“I'm glad you don't have cancer, but I'm worried about some of the other stuff she told us today. What if the diet doesn't work. What if the cyst come back. I'm worried about you getting prostate cancer too. You heard what she said.” I know I'm worried to, but im not going to be castrated.
“Yes you will.” What?
“If the choice is castration, God forbid, or you getting cancer it will be castration.” She broke into tears and was almost hysterical. I didn't know that all this had been that tough on her. She finally calmed down enough to talk.
“I love you more than anything and I'm not going to lose you because you think you are to manly do take a drug like that. I don't care if we ever have sex again. Or even with other guys for me. I would rather have you. That is the bottom line. You are more important” I'm sorry. I know this is tough on you. That is a long way down the road. There is a lot of medicine before we ever have to get to that part.
“I know I just know you too.” We laughed. I know and I will do everything possible to make sure I don't get cancer or hurt myself in this.
“Well sex is out for now. Till they get a solution. I'm sorry and if you want me to stop what Im doing I will.” No never. I want you to be happy.
“I want that for you too.” Then the only way to make me happy is for you to be happy. So please don't stop. I also want you to know that if I can't ever get hard again that I want you to keep doing this. You shouldn't have to stop having sex since if I can't.
“I don't want to stop, but I feel bad since you are having problems. Well just know that I would stop if you wanted.” What you don't get is that I will never want that. I want this to be your life if you want it.
“So you think at 50 I will be going out to bars to meet guys?” No honestly I figured you would probably have a boyfriend or two that you went to when you wanted sex.
“Oh crap, you are serious. I thought this was something you would get tired of.” No it isnt like my dick is going to grow to the size that satisfies you. So what else could we do then.
“Ok, so when you said you would be ok with us never having sex again if that is what I wanted right.” Yes
“So then only my boyfriend or lovers would take me like that.” Yes
“So then it will be their babies that we will raise together and not yours. I guess there is no reason to get your sperm frozen.” She had this smart look on her face. I just looked at her and said it would be cheaper.
We both busted out laughing.
“I want your babies.” I want that too, but I bet it is a turn on for you to think of having another mans baby. Doesn't it.
“Yes maybe, but I would want us to have at least one together..” I was a little shocked and asked if she was serious.
She just gave me a little smile.
I know she was just playing with me. It was clear. I just wanted to share that she is opening up some.
I will post the rest when I get some time. Tired and ready for bed now.
No we asked about that as you can see. It was a good question we thought.Thinfella said:Sorry to hear life is throwing some 'lemons' at you. Hope all is well and you're on the mend soon. I know naff all about it, but could not masturbating cause high testosterone level?????
Anyway, it's good to see your good lady by your side though this, and I hope you both get closer because of it.
As for someone saying "how long can this fantasy story go on?" well, come on! It's only a fantasy story before it's happening. Once it's happening, as it clearly is, it's simply 'life'. And we all know how many ups and downs that entails.
Power to you both and fingers crossed things go well in both things very soon.
Cheers
You are right. When it is real there are a lot of ups and downs. I never expected the things from this week or some of the things that have happened, but I wouldn't want to go back to life before.
I appreciate the support and I'm sure I gave the haters some fuel. They will call it fake and that is fine. I'm here for help and support. Not to give them my time.
