Waiting for her return

[SoonToBe]

I feel like I"m in a dream. It still doesn't seem real that I just kissed her goodbye and actually told her to have fun.

I saw that she had packed a small bag to take with her and that didn't get to me that much. What really did was that there was only 1 toothbrush in the bathroom. I swear at that moment I felt everything all over again in an instant.

I took a moment to get hold of things and in a bit it felt better. I looked at our bed and thought about her in a hotel with Brad instead of here. But it felt okay I just let myself relax and thought about the good parts and not the bad and the feeling passed. I figure that' why I was sort of okay when she left.

Sue aaid that she told the kids she would call her from "the party" she was going to but she sort of asked me if we could maybe not talk as she didn't want to feel weird. I asked her if she could text me at least to tell me she was ok. She said "maybe" but "maybe not".

She told me to look on the computer when I get home today and again she apologized for writing a book!!

I can't believe how aroused and on edge I am knowing she's really doing this.

 

[SoonToBe]

I thought it'd be easier here at work but I have this gnawing in my stomach as well as a wicked hard-on when I look over at her picture on my desk.

 

[Jaxunman]

Grinch beat to the reply about having a true heart to heart talk upon her return. I would suggest at some point this conversation needs to happen outside the bedroom and away from the erotic atmosphere which could distract from keeping on point. I get the feeling that you haven't told her everything you feel at times, especially some of the negative feelings you have for fear it doesn't fit into the picture. I also get the feeling that she isn't being completely revealing to you about her emotions and feelings towards Brad.

Her not wanting to talk to you tonight reveals both good and bad things. The good, being that she is nervous, that she is afraid she may herself back out of staying all night were she to talk to you. That should be reassuring to you in that you still have that kind of influence on her or that she may be feeling second thoughts. The bad, she doesn't want to talk to you tonight for fear you will try to talk her out of staying the night, she wants to begin tonight to take her relationship with Brad to a deeper level with you as far in back of her mind as possible. This could be a red flag in that she has already been viewing you as an obstacle to what she has been really wanting. By severing communication with you this morning, she has removed the option of you objecting any further.

When she comes home tomorrow, let her know she was missed from the time she left this morning. Let her know how happy you are that she is back home with you. Again, don't discount the feelings of loss you shared with us this morning. Share them with her as well. Gather your resolve, steel yourself to possibly hearing things you might not want to hear and again ask her about what she is feeling and let her know you want to know everything, no matter how painful it might be.

Don't take my posts as being negative. I am enjoying these accounts of your adventures just like everyone else. Sue, both from your descriptions and the pics you posted, is a very sexy woman. Forgive me if from time to time I point out red flags along the way.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well - I made it through the day. Good thing it got busy here today as it took my time off all of this.

But it's now 4:30pm and I pretty much know if she isn't on her way that she will be shortly.

I will try, as others suggested, to try and not masturbate tonight but if how I feel right now is any indication - I'm not sure I'll be able to. My cock hasn't calmed down all afternoon.

So,I'm heading home soon to an empty house. But all I need to do is think about Sue getting fucked all night and I am instantly on the edge of cumming if I were to even touch myself.

More later, I'm sure. I will probably start a new thread instead of continuing this one since tonight, I am NOT waiting on her return.
I would have never believed just how turned on I am over all of this. I just hope this feeling lasts till tomorrow.

 

[Puller]

You must certainly be the #1 Envy in here at the moment.

Enjoy the night, you will learn the anguish of a good cuck night.

To offset that, think of what Sue will do when she comes home all radient but very guilty.

Your cock will be like a piece of string when she finishes with it.

This is not a lifestyle for the faint hearted, and the benefits can be enormous.

Suffer, then ENJOY.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well - the kids are in bed at least my daughter is. My son has some sort of loud disturbing noise he calls music coming from his room in the basement. I was surprised when they told me that mom had called them on their cellphones - I didn't know she'd called.

I read Sues note and I feel so empty inside when I read what she said about how much of herself she's given and shared with Brad.

And yet if I were to drop my pants and stroke myself just a second or two I would explode like a water balloon.

I feel very anxious right now. I know what she is doing - maybe not this very second but I know how Brad is fucking her right now - it's right here in her note to me!

I have to step away from this for a while or I'm going to go crazy. Between the phone call thing and what she wrote, I don't know if I have started something more than I wanted.

Still - I am wicked horny. Very wicked horny. If I breathe deep and focus on the sex and not the things she wrote - it is good.

I need to step away right now though. I think a beer on the front porch listening to the drizzling rain might be a good place to be. Almost like it's just too much to be thinking about and I need a break.
I didn't think it would be this much angst.

 

[Jaxunman]

Here's hoping a few beers and the drizzling rain will help give you a break from the pressure and give you a chance to clear your head.

I am curious as to what she described in her letter that got to you.

 

[SoonToBe]

It's almost midnight now. I'm sitting here staring at this screen thinking of her. Now that it's done with I feel good about it. I wonder if they're sleeping. I am struggling to resist thinking about it too much as my cock feels like it's on a hair trigger.

I read her Email over a few times. It's actually not an Email, she just wrote it in notepad. She wasn't kidding that It's really long, but it tells me a lot. I have to think about posting it here, it's very revealing - I almost feel like I am reading her diary.

2 things I feel from reading it before I sign off and try again to find something else to do until I can maybe fall asleep.

1) it is clear how she is with Brad and that what I saw when I tried to stay with them was very little of just how she is with him. I had thought that perhaps she'd not quite shared every bit of herself with him but it is clear that she has and does, and,
2) That as intense as it may be, I don't read into it any more than something physical which is why I think I am feeling okay right now.

I will say that seeing the empty bed next to me as I tried to watch something, anything on TV was a bit difficult. Her note basically said what she would want if it all went as she would like it to. At some of the stuff it felt like someone had stomped on my nuts and yet at other stuff my cock was wicked hard. I just cannot believe what she shared in this note she left me, some of it is incredibly personal that even I am surprised at it.

I am going to go toss around in bed and maybe have a beer to fall asleep to. I am NOT going to masturbate, I decided that earlier. I do want to be eager and ready for her whenever she gets home.

I guess that I am finding some level of enjoyment and arousal confirms that I am a cuckold.

 

[Susan's Slave]

I agree with Jaxunman in his third paragraph in that you should, "Love her madly as she's walkin' in (sic) the door." Puller, excellent comments!

STB, hang in there, cucky angst is all about the the pleasure being heightened by the pain!

 

[SoonToBe]

Of course there's no chance for me to sleep late!!! I can't believe I"m up at 6am!!!

She"s really not here. I even had the thought that maybe she'd surprise me and be here.

One thing - I have this tent going with the blanket. I can't believe I managed to not cum yet - I thought for sure there might be a wet-dream in it for me with how horny I was trying to fall asleep last night.

I may read her note again. If I"m going to be awake I might as well feel the part.

 

[marys_pet]

She is still focused on maximizing her time, and her enjoyment, with him. Just as she did not want to drag herself out fo a nice, warm bed last night to run home to you, she has no greater desire to do so first thing this morning. She wants to spend some more quality time getting fucked by him first. Only when the two of them are well and truly done will her thoughts turn to you.

You did well not coming during the night. That would have made things much more difficult to deal with.

I think it would be helpful for you to write a note or email to Sue, laying all your feelings out to her, the ones you've been holding back from her. Only by laying all your cards out on the table, communicating all the information from both sides and making decisions based on that information, will the two of you be able to navigate this roller coaster ride you are both on so that neither of you crashes and burns.

 

[SoonToBe]

It's 10am and still no sign of her. I can't bring myself to even eat breakfast I just have this empty pit in my stomach.

And yet I'm not upset or angry - I just miss her.

She told me in her note that she expected to be fucking him this morning after a room-service breakfast. I am sure she got her wish.

I can sort of picture them in the fluffly hotel robes having breakfast and then them having each other again. Sue described what she wanted to experience and I guess she is getting it. Thinking about them waking up and washing the remnants of last night off themselves - together in the shower gets me all worked up.

She said so much of what she wanted to feel and experience that if I just think about what she's probably done with him that I am ready to uncork!

I don't care about any of that though. At this moment I just want her to come home.

Checkout time has to be 11 o"clock so she will have to be here by noon. I can't wait to hold her in my arms.

Marys-pet - you betcha we'll be talking a lot about this!!!

I re-read her note yet again and while I can't post it all here as some of it is almost too revealing to the point that if you knew her you might put 1 and 1 together, I may share parts of it. There is one part that if I think about it too long I swear I would cum just like that. She describes how she wanted Brad to have her "doggy-style" - at one point she says she wants to be his "bitch" and for him to mount her like an animal and just "take her". Iy's the way she wrote it that let me understand what she wants to feel.
I have to step away again for a while. I just need a break, and to also keep my cock from exploding the more I think about it.

 

[bobesb]

journal

This is very intense - and a incredible experience on your journey no matter where it goes.

Strongly recommend that you keep a personal journal with all the intense feelings that you can refer to - it would also be useful to read before you have long conversations with your wife going foward.

 

[AngleBaby]

On a holiday too.

 

[SoonToBe]

Was this site like down all day today? I've been here a few times and all I got was a database error....

Anyway - I need to be quick since we're heading out to dinner soon and she still hasn't let me near her yet!!!!

She got home just before 1pm today. I don't know if the kids noticed it but I did - maybe it's in my head but she just looked so incredible to me. Something about her eyes - this deep relaxed look. But the hug I gave her was equally returned and the quiet "I love you" we exchanged seemed to just push all my worries and concerns aside. Something in how she felt against me as we hugged was just so wonderful. She smelled clean and tasted like tooth-paste - and all I could think about was her and Brad waking up this morning and getting cleaned up together!

To think that not more than 24 hours ago she spent the night in his arms is just such a turn on right now. When the kids were out of sight she did hold me and ask me if I was okay with everything and I just said that as long as she was in my arms now and would share her experience with me later, that I was going to be okay with it.

She hasn't let me touch her at all below the waist yet - and barely let me caress her tits. She keeps saying "wait till later and I'll tell you everything you want to know, but I want you to wait!". She also asked me if I was a "good boy last night" - which is her way of asking if I masturbated and she smiled when I said no.

Some of what she wrote in her note to me was very intense. I am almost scared to have her later tonight again knowing what she wrote was how she felt. She told me of how she feels when she is intimate with him and how she felt at the moment before I walked out on them last year. Knowing what she wrote, my god she is so incredibly sexy to me - I think if I am nearly as horny as I am now if this happens that she can do it again. But then, maybe that's my cock talking...

All I know is that I need to run back downstairs now and get us going to dinner. I tried to post here earlier, too bad as I had more time and more thoughts then.

Still, she is smokin' hot to me right now. Just the idea that she may be still wet and hot from him later on tonight is making me so eager.

I know from what she wrote to me what she shared with him last night. There may be little that she has kept from him for just us but that's okay - somehow it feels very erotic and almost comforting to know what she's done.

 

[Custer Laststand]

This is very cool.... congratulations!

Soon,

Thanks for the update. Your recent experiences bring to mind some lines from one of Cherry Lee's articles, in which "discussions" means with a wife on the desirability of her taking lovers.

"Before discussions begin, the husband must feel the marriage is totally solid and it can definitely withstand some real challenges (read: real challenges). It will help the husband’s feelings of security if he feels his wife knows she has a good thing in the marriage, and other men could not offer her the advantages she now enjoys."

My impression is, you have accepted and surmounted your first "real challenge" and recognize, as your wife's cuckold, you are better off for having done so. In addition, your wife has demonstrated she is deeply satisfied as a result of spending the night with her lover, which she very much wanted to do, and has shown you she "knows she has a good thing in her marriage, and other men would be unlikely to offer her the advantages she now enjoys."

Congratulations to both of you!

—Custer

 

[Susan's Slave]

Yes, STB, ya done good. It sounds like she had a great time and appreciated coming home to a husband that loves her. She also sounded pleased that you were a good boy. I look forward to hearing from you after you have had a night of reconnecting and hearing her story.

 

[Saraha]

You are doing well, but I would still like to see you stop masturbating, even if you have to go in chastity with a padlock on. Brad and Sue are growing closer and more comfortable with each other, and the overnighters will become more and more important as time goes by.

It is good that Sue and you are talking and sharing. I like how she is holding back on you touching her breasts and below the waist (and keeping that for Brad at the moment). But denying you sex and at the same time sharing what is happening to each other, you and Sue are definitely strengthening your marriage base.

It is important to keep your marriage strong, because Brad's wife may one day want him home more nights.

 

[SoonToBe]

I only have a few minutes free right now but I wanted to post something while so much is still in my head.

Somewhere else it described the moments with your wife when she comes home from a lover as being like a "first date". I can tell you that is exactly what it was like yesterday.

My god I was so turned on I was almost scared to have her again. Scared in the sense that I didn't want the incredible horniness that I felt to end - but also scared to find out what was beneath her clothes. Just like a first date - what would she look like, how would she feel. I was almost hesitant and so cautious to undress her not knowing how she would be.

Sue said later on that she'd felt the same way as she used to on first dates. How would she feel letting him see her that first time, how would the sex be for them.

I swear every part of her was more beautiful than I'd remembered from just a day or two earlier. I was so much more aware of her. She was very hesitant too until I somehow told her that it was alright and that I was totally turned on about what she'd done.

The idea that she'd spent the night with Brad was no longer bothering me in any way - instead the knowledge that he HAD her and used her for almost 24 hours - was such a turn-on for me.

Undressing her - I swear my hands were shaking.

She shared so much in her note of just how intimate and how much of herself she gives to him that I had no doubt that she would feel so tender in my arms and when I was in her. I knew from how she looked and how she felt that she had let herself go totally with Brad. Instead of bothering me all it did was drive me crazy with desire!!!! I was actually worried I'd wind up almost ****** her.

But instead, all I could do was just stare at her as she lay there naked for me finally. Looking at her like that - seeing her still a little red and swollen between her legs - I swear I actually felt sort of proud of her (and me).

I know she probably felt the exact same - but in my mind just knowing that Brad had made her his last night. Just thinking of them orgasming together in bed knowing he was cumming in her just as he wished he could do with his own wife - pride was all I can describe.

She felt so incredible. She encouraged me to enjoy myself as she said ahe "would surely be right there with me".

Maybe the word "tired" could describe how she felt but to me, knowing how she got that way drive me crazy and she just encouraged me along, telling me how she'd cum so much with Brad that she still felt so good.

I have never cum like that in years and years. Very much like those first-dates - my god she IS so sexy. Holding myself above her on extended arms - looking at her just as Brad had so many times - that was it for me. I just let myself go to his cock being where mine was and that was it - I let loose.

Afterwards, she stayed true to her note to me and stayed in bed with me until we'd almost fallen asleep. Even though I was spent already, knowing she'd probably slept just like that the night before - still wet and sticky and close to him. I just hugged her and held her close. The soft murmurs of "I love you" left me no doubt how I felt about her and she about me. I did consider she may have said that same thing to Brad the night before but it felt okay if she did, I can accept that if it led to nights like we had last night.

We talked this morning a bit but we still hide Easter eggs for the kids (family tradition) so we didn't have much time.

Still - seeing her naked in the bathroom cleaning herself up - I even got hard thinking of her having done that same thing with Brad the day before!!!

Gotta run but I still have so many more emotions running through my head that I may never get it all down on paper.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Awright....