Accepting the changes that are occurring

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  • #301
Hiki - what she wants is to be able to let go of everything and have either me or a lover take her to the pleasure she wants. I know that when the circumstances are right, that I can and probably will always be able to do it to her.

But the reality is that I know that as she's said "you wanted this" meaning I wanted her to be the way she used to be and to WANT sex, is that she wants this kind of sex more often than I can give it to her.

I'm going to say now that I honestly want her to have it too. It's weird but I get an intense feeling of satisfaction knowing what is happening. Yes it's still anxious and angst-full and at times I still think I'm crazy - but the feelings I have knowing what she is doing far outweigh the concerns. I think that my support for her and in response, her feeling comfortable opening up to me and being able to explain what she wants and is feeling - is making it easier to accept.

I'm laughing right now - isnt' that the definition of a cuckold?! LOL....

There are still many things that we haven't discussed - she knows that I enjoyed her teasing me wearing panties and denying me - but at the same time I know that until she feels more desired that she probably won't be as interested in that. And then, there's the whole other pink-elephant in the room, her fascination with condoms. I've mentioned some of this but it seems that with her feeling disappointment with Frank, that seems to have put these things between us onto the back-burner a bit.

I understand this and I'm going to leave it up to her to lead this. I see she wants to move on - Will and Peak are right on this - but I want her to do it at her pace. She'll talk about it but without something (someone?) to focus on it doesn't seem to have the same effect (I recall her comment about "why would I want to deny myself")....

And I will certainly make it clear here and now - yes - I want to see her reaction and how she is in Jamaica. She's seen black guys naked on the nude beach but this will be the first time where I could possibly say to her "what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica...." - of course that's assuming there's a degree of sexuality to where we're going.....
 
  • #302
SoonToBe said:
Hiki - what she wants is to be able to let go of everything and have either me or a lover take her to the pleasure she wants. I know that when the circumstances are right, that I can and probably will always be able to do it to her.

But the reality is that I know that as she's said "you wanted this" meaning I wanted her to be the way she used to be and to WANT sex, is that she wants this kind of sex more often than I can give it to her.

I'm going to say now that I honestly want her to have it too. It's weird but I get an intense feeling of satisfaction knowing what is happening. Yes it's still anxious and angst-full and at times I still think I'm crazy - but the feelings I have knowing what she is doing far outweigh the concerns. I think that my support for her and in response, her feeling comfortable opening up to me and being able to explain what she wants and is feeling - is making it easier to accept.

I'm laughing right now - isnt' that the definition of a cuckold?! LOL....

There are still many things that we haven't discussed - she knows that I enjoyed her teasing me wearing panties and denying me - but at the same time I know that until she feels more desired that she probably won't be as interested in that. And then, there's the whole other pink-elephant in the room, her fascination with condoms. I've mentioned some of this but it seems that with her feeling disappointment with Frank, that seems to have put these things between us onto the back-burner a bit.

I understand this and I'm going to leave it up to her to lead this. I see she wants to move on - Will and Peak are right on this - but I want her to do it at her pace. She'll talk about it but without something (someone?) to focus on it doesn't seem to have the same effect (I recall her comment about "why would I want to deny myself")....

And I will certainly make it clear here and now - yes - I want to see her reaction and how she is in Jamaica. She's seen black guys naked on the nude beach but this will be the first time where I could possibly say to her "what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica...." - of course that's assuming there's a degree of sexuality to where we're going.....
Click to expand...

I have to say Steve. This is really the first time in Your writting I have gotten the feeling that You are really and truely accepting Your Cuckold Nature. Your Not fighting it. You are what You are. Just do what make You and Sue happy.

You've come a long way!!!!
 
  • #303
You See. I know You Missed Me!!!
 
  • #304
Will, what makes the most difference to me is seeing Sue truly wanting this.
I had always felt a bit of reluctance in her until recently.
 
  • #305
Well, I'm giving You a pat on the back. For whatever thats worth to You. But keep in mind I don't give them out to just anyone. I really feel You must have faced down more than one Demon to get here. Thats not easy!!!!
 
  • #306
STB,
You have come a long way since the beginning but the one cuckold demon you have yet to face may yet await you. That of a real love rival.

So far, it seems, only Brad has really captured a part of Sue‘s heart and he went away before this became serious. Of course you are ready for a new lover to capture a part of her pussy, perhaps even exclusively for a while, but how do you think you might feel if its her heart in the ring?
 
  • #307
Peak - I suppose there's an element of truth in what you're saying. I mean so far - other than taking perhaps longer to get there - we've in essence arrived at a classic cuckold situation.

I honestly don't know how I'll feel or we'll feel when (or if) it happens. I am sure that the same part of me that feels satisfaction knowing she's so sexual with other guys will find some arousal in her falling for another guy. I am sure that there will be parts where it is arousing too. But I think I also have a well founded fear of being on that part of this road.

I know that she felt some of it with Brad - my hopes are that she's aware of that and is careful. I hope her experience now will let her keep things in check. But if it does happen - then I can only say that as with the rest of this journey, I'll support her until I feel that it is detrimental to "us" at which point I hope I am still able to express my concerns.

What I don't know is whether it is simply inevitable and unavoidable.
 
  • #308
STB,
With the right man, I suspect it is both inevitable and unavoidable. Thinking about it now will help you cope with it better then. I think Sue has said Love with all her lovers so far, the management comes in riding the tiger until it tires. This also is inevitable. At this point you may have to kill the tiger before it kills you of course. I just hope it stays in lust and doesn't get that serious. Good luck..
 
  • #309
STB
i think that Peakmb has a very good point.

and if it happen's hope you can call her back and that if or when it happen's that sue has not gone to far and you can put a stop to it.

keep us posted.
 
  • #310
The highs and lows of being a Cuckold. I will not pretend to understand it. I know there are many reasons to do it. Some I understand. But We all Have to live our own lives.

I will not say I'm not glad that there are Cuckolds who are willing to share their Wives and Gf's.
 
  • #311
She clearly loves Stb and eventhough she may have developed feelings in the past with Brad, I think we are all seeing that she shares her life with Stb. She is his rock and the reason she is now in control is because of the closeness and empowerment that they have developed together. My guess is that the more you are denied, the more attentive you will become Stb, the more emotional attachment you will form, and ultimately become more bonded as a couple eventhough you are not penetrating her or cumming in condoms. As long as you can deal with that part, you have little to worry about. It's time for Sue to find someone who can dominate her and for you to love and support her.
 
  • #312
SoonToBe said:
"Anyway - the funny part is that we're next door at our neighbors late on New Years Day and the wife starts to say that they were staying up the night before in bed watching the TV to wait for the ball to drop and she says that "about 11:30 I thought I heard something outside" and she said that after a few moments she listened from her bedroom window and thought it was someone yelling and that by the time she got to her front door that it'd stopped. Sue looked over at me as we listened and she turned bright red knowing it was her that had made all the noise - we'd joked when we were done that we had plenty of time and it was like 11:35 when we had just finished fucking.

That's all I heard about tonight was how embarrassed she feels and how she's sure that our neighbor knows it was her that she heard (I don't think she does but it's funny to see Sue fretting about it)."
Click to expand...

Sounds like the time I took a woman camping, (4th. of July 19XX) (At Verdi Hot springs, Will) Before "midnight Fun," she wanted to leave the campground and move, way "up on the hill" "so we can see the stars better". Well we did, and put down our bedroll amongst the bushes and cacti. At Midnight, as we were having a great mutual orgasm, She was screaming at the top of her lungs. (Oh yes, she squirted too)
We went to sleep right there. When the sun came up, I found that we slid down the hill, to where there was a cactus between my legs.
We definitely got weird looks, when we came back to camp. Didn't bother her though!!!
Cheers, Harry
 
  • #313
Yea, like You never hear anything like that there.
 
  • #314
STB

hope that you and sue have one wild weekend.

you and sue have got a week left before the trip do you and sue have anything wild planed for next week.

well have fun and keep us posted.
 
  • #315
STB,
I know you take great steps to avoid it, but I wonder what explanation Sue and you have agreed on in the event of your children ever discovering that their mother has a lover. Any new lover is bound to create some change in routine which increases the risk of unintended discovery, especially as they are now older and more aware.
 
  • #316
Great
point you have there Peak.
 
  • #317
Mommy and and a Friend from work have to work on a project from work. Sometimes they have to work very late and weekends.
 
  • #318
Harry - sounds like we've experienced a bit of the high-notes in our times.

We have no special plans for this coming week up to when we are leaving. Sue has already said she will see Frank again on Thursday before we go but it now sounds like she's doing it out of habit or perhaps, a sense of obligation, rather than a true desire. I think my performance with her over New Years may have reset her attitude towards Frank a bit - nothing specific but she seems to be much more in tune with the level of desire she feels from me (and I assume Frank).

I haven't asked her if she's clued Frank in to his eventual demise but I do have to wonder how he's going to feel losing his almost-weekly little bout with my wife? Perhaps she's already hinted to him and maybe that's behind his lackadaisical attitude towards her? Or perhaps he just doesn't see it coming - but I would have thought he would have sensed something in her?

It's all a bit premature to conjecture about her next lover. There's actually a new wrinkle that's come up - her parents, with her dad seeming to be not getting much better at this point - that they are looking to move from their house into some sort of assisted-living facility - so now there's so much to do as they want to plan their estate as part of this move and maybe revisit their will.

So - this little trip away will be good for Sue to unwind before she returns to continued stress with her family....
 
  • #319
STB
great post you did answer some think's i was going to ask you.

so thank's

and keep us posted if any thing change's.
 
  • #320
Sorry to hear about Sue's Dad. I'll think a Good Though for Him.
 
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